0:00:00.295,0:00:02.341
How many of you are completely comfortable

0:00:02.365,0:00:04.119
with calling yourselves a leader?

0:00:05.452,0:00:07.716
I've asked that question[br]all across the country,

0:00:07.740,0:00:09.717
and everywhere I ask it, no matter where,

0:00:09.741,0:00:13.274
there's a huge portion of the audience[br]that won't put up their hand.

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And I've come to realize[br]that we have made leadership

0:00:15.818,0:00:18.228
into something bigger than us;[br]something beyond us.

0:00:18.252,0:00:20.125
We've made it about changing the world.

0:00:20.149,0:00:21.784
We've taken this title of "leader"

0:00:21.808,0:00:24.736
and treat it as something[br]that one day we're going to deserve.

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But to give it to ourselves right now

0:00:26.571,0:00:30.006
means a level of arrogance or cockiness[br]that we're not comfortable with.

0:00:30.030,0:00:32.553
And I worry sometimes[br]that we spend so much time

0:00:32.577,0:00:35.410
celebrating amazing things[br]that hardly anybody can do,

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that we've convinced ourselves those[br]are the only things worth celebrating.

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We start to devalue the things[br]we can do every day,

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We take moments[br]where we truly are a leader

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and we don't let ourselves take credit[br]for it, or feel good about it.

0:00:47.150,0:00:49.251
I've been lucky enough[br]over the last 10 years

0:00:49.275,0:00:52.306
to work with amazing people[br]who've helped me redefine leadership

0:00:52.330,0:00:54.354
in a way that I think has made me happier.

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With my short time today,

0:00:55.616,0:00:59.287
I want to share with you the one story[br]that is probably most responsible

0:00:59.311,0:01:00.474
for that redefinition.

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I went to a little school

0:01:02.491,0:01:05.305
called Mount Allison University[br]in Sackville, New Brunswick.

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And on my last day there,[br]a girl came up to me and said,

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"I remember the first time I met you."

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And she told me a story[br]that had happened four years earlier.

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She said, "On the day[br]before I started university,

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I was in the hotel room[br]with my mom and dad,

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and I was so scared[br]and so convinced that I couldn't do this,

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that I wasn't ready for university,[br]that I just burst into tears.

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My mom and dad were amazing.

0:01:25.118,0:01:28.280
They were like, "We know you're scared,[br]but let's just go tomorrow,

0:01:28.304,0:01:31.789
go to the first day, and if at any point[br]you feel as if you can't do this,

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that's fine; tell us,[br]and we'll take you home.

0:01:33.996,0:01:35.393
We love you no matter what.'"

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She says, "So I went the next day.

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I was in line for registration,

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and I looked around and just knew[br]I couldn't do it; I wasn't ready.

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I knew I had to quit.

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I made that decision[br]and as soon as I made it,

0:01:45.254,0:01:47.326
an incredible feeling[br]of peace came over me.

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I turned to my mom and dad[br]to tell them we needed to go home,

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and at that moment, you came[br]out of the student union building

0:01:53.389,0:01:55.880
wearing the stupidest hat[br]I've ever seen in my life."

0:01:55.904,0:01:56.905
(Laughter)

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"It was awesome.

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And you had a big sign[br]promoting Shinerama," --

0:02:00.433,0:02:02.462
which is Students Fighting[br]Cystic Fibrosis,

0:02:02.486,0:02:04.351
a charity I've worked with for years --

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"And you had a bucketful of lollipops.

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You were handing the lollipops out[br]to people in line,

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and talking about Shinerama.

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All of the sudden, you got to me,[br]and you just stopped.

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And you stared. It was creepy."

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(Laughter)

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This girl knows what I'm talking about.

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(Laughter)

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"Then you looked at the guy next to me,[br]smiled, reached into your bucket,

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pulled out a lollipop,[br]held it out to him and said,

0:02:26.036,0:02:29.178
'You need to give a lollipop[br]to the beautiful woman next to you.'"

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She said, "I've never seen anyone[br]get more embarrassed faster in my life.

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He turned beet red,[br]he wouldn't even look at me.

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He just kind of held[br]the lollipop out like this."

0:02:37.809,0:02:39.110
(Laughter)

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"I felt so bad for this dude[br]that I took the lollipop.

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As soon as I did, you got[br]this incredibly severe look on your face,

0:02:44.946,0:02:48.230
looked at my mom and dad[br]and said, 'Look at that! Look at that!

0:02:48.254,0:02:49.652
First day away from home,

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and already she's taking candy[br]from a stranger?'"

0:02:52.207,0:02:54.350
(Laughter)

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She said, "Everybody lost it.

0:02:55.799,0:02:58.482
Twenty feet in every direction,[br]everyone started to howl.

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I know this is cheesy, and I don't know[br]why I'm telling you this,

0:03:01.645,0:03:05.067
but in that moment when everyone[br]was laughing, I knew I shouldn't quit.

0:03:05.091,0:03:07.923
I knew I was where I was supposed[br]to be; I knew I was home.

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And I haven't spoken to you[br]once in the four years since that day.

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But I heard that you were leaving,[br]and I had to come and tell you

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you've been an incredibly[br]important person in my life.

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I'm going to miss you. Good luck."

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And she walks away, and I'm flattened.

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She gets six feet away,[br]turns around, smiles and goes,

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"You should probably know this, too:

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I'm still dating that guy,[br]four years later."

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(Laughter)

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A year and a half[br]after I moved to Toronto,

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I got an invitation to their wedding.

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(Laughter)

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Here's the kicker: I don't remember that.

0:03:37.118,0:03:39.003
I have no recollection of that moment.

0:03:39.027,0:03:40.473
I've searched my memory banks,

0:03:40.497,0:03:43.668
because that is funny and I should[br]remember doing it and I don't.

0:03:43.692,0:03:46.475
That was such an eye-opening,[br]transformative moment for me,

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to think that maybe the biggest impact[br]I'd ever had on anyone's life,

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a moment that had a woman walk up[br]to a stranger four years later and say,

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"You've been an important[br]person in my life,"

0:03:55.509,0:03:57.535
was a moment that I didn't even remember.

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How many of you guys[br]have a lollipop moment,

0:03:59.642,0:04:01.712
a moment where someone[br]said or did something

0:04:01.736,0:04:04.224
that you feel fundamentally[br]made your life better?

0:04:04.248,0:04:07.185
All right. How many of you have told[br]that person they did it?

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See, why not?

0:04:08.826,0:04:09.977
We celebrate birthdays,

0:04:10.001,0:04:12.672
where all you have to do[br]is not die for 365 days --

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(Laughter)

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Yet we let people[br]who have made our lives better

0:04:16.190,0:04:17.674
walk around without knowing it.

0:04:17.698,0:04:20.213
Every single one of you[br]has been the catalyst

0:04:20.237,0:04:21.388
for a lollipop moment.

0:04:21.412,0:04:24.429
You've made someone's life better[br]by something you said or did.

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If you think you haven't,

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think of all the hands[br]that didn't go up when I asked.

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You're just one of the people[br]who hasn't been told.

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It's scary to think of ourselves[br]as that powerful,

0:04:33.001,0:04:35.889
frightening to think we can matter[br]that much to other people.

0:04:35.913,0:04:38.580
As long as we make leadership[br]something bigger than us,

0:04:38.604,0:04:40.520
as long as we keep leadership beyond us

0:04:40.544,0:04:42.316
and make it about changing the world,

0:04:42.340,0:04:44.927
we give ourselves an excuse[br]not to expect it every day,

0:04:44.951,0:04:46.860
from ourselves and from each other.

0:04:46.884,0:04:50.467
Marianne Williamson said, "Our greatest[br]fear is not that we are inadequate.

0:04:50.491,0:04:52.558
[It] is that we are powerful[br]beyond measure.

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It is our light and not our darkness[br]that frightens us."

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My call to action today[br]is that we need to get over our fear

0:04:58.475,0:05:01.477
of how extraordinarily powerful[br]we can be in each other's lives.

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We need to get over it[br]so we can move beyond it,

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and our little brothers and sisters[br]and one day our kids --

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or our kids right now --[br]can watch and start to value

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the impact we can have[br]on each other's lives,

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more than money and power[br]and titles and influence.

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We need to redefine leadership[br]as being about lollipop moments --

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how many of them we create,[br]how many we acknowledge,

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how many of them we pay forward[br]and how many we say thank you for.

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Because we've made leadership[br]about changing the world,

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and there is no world.

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There's only six billion[br]understandings of it.

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And if you change[br]one person's understanding of it,

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understanding of what they're capable of,

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understanding of how much[br]people care about them,

0:05:35.631,0:05:38.233
understanding of how powerful[br]an agent for change

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they can be in this world,

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you've changed the whole thing.

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And if we can understand[br]leadership like that,

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I think if we can redefine[br]leadership like that,

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I think we can change everything.

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And it's a simple idea,[br]but I don't think it's a small one.

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I want to thank you so much[br]for letting me share it with you today.