What dog did he steal that sweater from?
Probably his wife.
Good God, who shot the couch?
Give her a break, Hilary.
She just won the Kentucky Derby.
Who's that lady with Nell Carter?
That's not Nell Carter. That's my father!
God, you're so shallow. l hate you.
You're stupid and ugly
and l wish you would die.
-Sorry.
-Okay.
Look at her!
Brake! Hit the brake, Will!
-What in the hell are you doing?
-l'm sorry. lt ain't my fault.
l panicked.
That squirrel came out of nowhere.
Philip, l'll call the manager
and have him remove the cart.
Oh, let's just draw more attention
to ourselves.
-Get in the cart, Vivian.
-No.
l'm sorry, Mr. Banks,
but no golf carts in the dining room.
You've certainly made a name
at this country club.
l wouldn't be surprised if they revoked
our shuffleboard privileges.
That's fine with me.
This place is wack. l'm out of here.
Hold up.
Special bulletin. Hormones to Will.
Hold up yourself, Will.
That's Mimi Mumford.
You can't get to first base with her
unless you impress her father.
He's an eminent surgeon,
a championship polo player...
and around these parts,
he's known as Dr. No.
-Why do they call him that?
-Because he never says ''yes.''
No young man is good enough
for his daughter.
He ain't gonna have a chance to tell me no
'cause l ain't gonna ask.
Mimi, if you're not busy on Friday night...
would you like to accompany me
to the Apple Blossom ball?
No.
What's your name, boy?
What school do you go to?
What college are you applying to?
What's your career plans?
l'm just a sophomore, sir.
l don't really know yet.
Out of here, son. You disgust me.
So, what kind of guy
does Dr. No say yes to?
Fellas with good grades,
good manners, good looks.
ln a word, me.
So why haven't you made your move
on Miss Mimi?
Not my type. Doesn't tickle my fancy.
Well, she can tickle mine.
lf only wishing made it so.
Let's face it, Will.
You lack the social graces...
to impress someone like Dr. No.
Boy, you must be on dog food.
l am the most handsome,
the most intelligent...
and unequivocally the most
flamboyant bachelor since Billy Dee.
This isn't West Philly, Will. lt's Bel-Air.
And the women here are different.
l guarantee you Dr. No will say no.
-Yeah? l bet he won't.
-l bet he will.
-l bet he won't.
-l'll bet he will.
Who says the art of conversation is dead?
All right, Will.
You think you can be a gentleman?
How do you propose on going about it?
Carlton, it's very easy to be a geek.
All l have to do
is follow you around for a day.
lt isn't as easy as it looks.
And with your father's permission...
l'd love to escort you to
the Apple Blossom ball.
l had no idea you two
were getting along so well.
What's going on here, Carlton?
Will's got a thing for Mimi Mumford...
so l'm teaching him how to be
a perfect gentleman.
l want a piece of this.
Observe, Will,
this is how a perfect gentleman...
talks to a young lady.
''Say there, Mimi...
''might l say that you rate a perfect 10
on my niftiness meter?''
l don't think so.
Uncle Phil, how did you used
to crack on the girlies?
What l'm about to tell you
is going to change your life forever.
-Are you listening?
-Yeah.
First, l take her hand...
then l stroke it gently but imperceptibly...
look deep into her eyes,
blow gently in her ear...
let my mouth curl up into a smile...
make a low, rumbling, hypnotic sound.
Philip, that's what you did
on our first date.
-That's right.
-You're lucky you got a second one.
Allow me, sir.
Certainly, Geoffrey,
if you think you can do any better.
MademoiseIIe.
My life was but a mere whisper
until you entered into it.
Whether it was chance or blind fate...
or kismet, if you will,
that brought us together...
l would be remiss to let this moment pass
without telling you...
how deeply you have affected
the very core of my being.
Baby!
-The fish knife.
-Yeah, right.
No, it is right. He got it right.
-He got it right!
-He did?
Get your own geisha.
Excuse me, Master Carlton.
-You were saying?
-Will, he picked out the fish knife.
Will, l want you
to pay very close attention.
Which one is the shrimp fork?
By george, l think he's got it.
l think he's got it.
Where did he get that jacket?
Probably off the rack.
-Did you hear about his Jaguar?
-The one he bought secondhand?
Okay, just remember
you're from Connecticut...
you're transferred to Bel-Air Academy,
and you row on the crew team.
Now, where did you transfer from?
Bend over.
lt's Andover. We're going back home.
l was joking, man. Relax. Hook it up.
l beg your pardon, Dr. Mumford.
l have a friend who's new in town.
He's the new star on the crew team.
Would you like to meet him?
No.
l respect your wishes, sir...
but l'd just like to say kudos
on that polo match. Super form.
You saw it, huh?
Excuse me. l didn't get your name.
Smithers, sir. Kip Smithers.
Have a seat, Smithers.
-May l join you, sir?
-No.
What school do you go to?
What college have you applied to?
What's your career plans?
Bel-Air Academy, Princeton,
and thoracic surgery, sir.
Thoracic surgery. That's my field.
What aspect of it interests you the most?
The cutting part.
That's the part l like, too.
Listen, l'm glad you're a fan of polo.
l have a very fine string of Arabians.
Really? With turbans and everything?
Very funny, Smithers.
You had me there for a moment.
l thought you were a blithering idiot.
There's my daughter.
Would you like to meet her?
Gosh, sir.
There's a big question mark on that one.
l seem to be painfully shy
with the fairer sex.
Nonsense.
-Hi, Daddy.
-Poodles.
There is someone l'd like you to meet.
Mimi, Kip Smithers.
Varsity crew from Bel-Air.
A gentleman and a scholar
and soon to be a fine surgeon.
You flatter me, sir.
l'll just leave the two of you alone.
-Mimi--
-Look, before you get yourself...
all worked up into a lather,
l just would like to say this.
l am sick of you
white-washed, preppy stuffed shirts.
What?
l don't need some stooge
who's going to play up to my father.
l want a real man.
Someone dangerous. Someone exciting.
Someone from the streets.
-What's so funny?
-Yo, baby.
Your prince is in effect, baby.
l'm not down with this preppy nonsense.
Carlton told me to do this.
l'm definitely straight out the 'hood.
That was the worst homeboy act
l've ever heard.
lt's not an act. lt's the real deal.
Yo, C! Come here!
Mimi. Kip.
Carlton, would you please tell her
who l really am?
-Who you really are?
-Yes.
He's Kip Smithers, from Connecticut.
He transferred from Andover to Bel-Air,
so he could row with the crew.
No. Tell her where l'm really from.
England?
For future reference, Will,
our club frowns on strangulation.
This is all your fault.
You got me into this mess.
-Me.
-Yeah!
This preppy nonsense.
l knew women didn't like that mess.
lf l would've had my way,
l would've had my way.
Congratulate me.
lt took all day but l finally found
the perfect pair of alligator pumps...
to wear to
the Save the Everglades rally tonight.
-Will has a crush on Mimi Mumford.
-That fat girl?
Mimi is not fat.
Not today. Liposuction.
She's been vacuumed more times
than a hooked rug.
She looks good now, right?
l don't see your point.
Just wave a chili-cheese dog
in front of her nose...
and see how much of your arm
you come back with.
Will.
So, how did it go with Mimi Mumford?
He struck out.
Okay, Will, you've taken advice
from Carlton, from Philip, and Geoffrey...
but you have not gone
to the most logical source:
the woman of the house.
Before l was married,
l had my share of admirers.
A sorrier bunch of deadbeats
you'll never meet.
The ones that l was most attracted to...
were the ones who were secure enough
to just be themselves.
And that's my advice to you.
Just be yourself.
Thanks, Aunt Viv.
So, Will, are you going
to take Mom's advice?
Man, you got to be crazy.
Mimi wants a street-wise,
Harley, bad-to-the-bones type guy, man.
lf l could show her that l'm dangerous,
l'll have her like that.
l'll bet you wouldn't.
-l bet l would.
-l'll bet you wouldn't.
-l bet you wouldn't.
-l bet you would.
See, l fooled you.
Remember, l'm wanted in five states...
l'm hiding out from the police
for robbing a gun store...
-and what did l do before then?
-You went to Penn State.
l went to the state pen.
Sorry. l thought Penn State
was bad enough.
Mimi, top of the evening.
Carlton, for the 900th time,
no, l will not go out with you.
-l thought you said she wasn't your type.
-She isn't. She's too negative.
l'm not here for that.
Although if you just gave it
some objective thought--
Anyway, l'm here for him.
Does he need to go to the bathroom?
No, he's just being his bad self.
What you saw before was just a charade.
Kip is his street name.
K-l-P. lt stands for conceived in prison.
He's my cousin...
and he's from the Bedford-Stuyvesant
region of Brooklyn...
wherein he is a felon.
Okay. Then what's he doing here
in Bel-Air?
He's living with us to escape,
and l quote, ''the man.''
Voila.
l thought you said he rode crew.
No, baby. You misunderstood.
He said l wrote for the 2 Live Crew.
But, see, they kicked me out
because my lyrics was too abrasive.
He's as nasty as he wants to be.
l kid you not.
Baby. You look so good...
l wish l could plant you
and grow a whole field of y'all.
Yo, baby, Fresh Prince in full effect.
lt's time to get busy.
You can't hay, can you, baby?
You work on that, all right, baby?
Salutations, Doctor.
This is quite an intense shindig, huh?
Listen, l just want to find out
how things are going with Mimi.
l'm having a little trouble
breaking the proverbial ice, sir.
l hope l don't embarrass myself,
being in your illustrious presence and all.
Don't worry. l'll just make myself scarce...
but, l do have one piece of advice.
-Be yourself.
-That's a natch, sir.
This music is def, exceptionally def.
Carlton, beat it!
l'm dope. Yo.
What were you talking to my father about?
l told him if he don't stay out my face,
we would take it to the street.
Baby, you close your eyes
when you dance with me.
Salutations yet again, Doctor.
Just a thought.
Mimi loves horses and you love polo...
l thought that might break the ice.
Thanks for the prescription, Doc.
Enough said.
What were you talking to my father about
this time?
l wasn't listening to him, baby.
l was stealing his wallet.
Kip, l'm so sorry
l didn't believe you before.
l should have seen right through
that thin charade.
Let's go someplace and get busy.
Yes, ma'am.
-But first, l want you to rap for me.
-What?
You know, let me hear some
of them abrasive lyrics.
Okay, baby.
This one l got banned in Buffalo for.
And that is just the type of music
we will not let our children listen to.
Smithers, what is the meaning
of that ridiculous hat?
Who put this on my head?
Daddy, isn't he funny?
No. He disgusts me. Get out of my sight.
Wait a minute.
You can't talk to him like that, Daddy.
He's practically a convicted killer,
and l love him.
A convicted killer? Who are you?
All right, look.
l'm not a young republican
from Connecticut...
and l'm not a hood from Bed-Stuy.
l'm Will Smith from West Philly...
and l've been busting my butt all night
trying to impress you...
and trying to scare you.
And l'm exhausted.
l'm going home, and l'm going to sleep...
'cause, baby, ain't no girl that fly for me
to go through all this trouble for.
Yo, baby.
What's up?
Miss Hilary.
Did you have a good time
at the Save the Everglades fund raiser?
Geoffrey, these events are not about
having a good time.
They're consciousness-raising
experiences.
When you hear about all of the species
that are on the brink of extinction...
it's grim, grave, and very sobering.
-Tom Cruise was near tears.
-Wasn't he gorgeous?
So there l was, G,
then this real fly honey walked by, right?
So l decided l'll just be myself.
l said, ''Yo, baby.'' And she loved me!
-Then what happened?
-Well, then her husband came in.