[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.09,0:00:04.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are three words\Nthat explain why I am here.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.40,0:00:09.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They are "Amy Krouse Rosenthal."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.32,0:00:12.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the end of Amy's life,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.84,0:00:15.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hyped up on morphine and home in hospice,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.24,0:00:18.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the "New York Times"\Npublished an article she wrote
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.84,0:00:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the "Modern Love" column\Non March 3, 2017.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.16,0:00:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was read worldwide\Nby over five million people.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.16,0:00:30.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The piece was unbearably sad,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.68,0:00:32.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ironically funny
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.44,0:00:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and brutally honest.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.20,0:00:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While it was certainly\Nabout our life together,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.88,0:00:40.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the focus of the piece was me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.44,0:00:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was called, "You May\NWant to Marry My Husband."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.60,0:00:47.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was a creative play\Non a personal ad for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.44,0:00:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amy quite literally left\Nan empty space for me to fill
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.20,0:00:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with another love story.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.52,0:00:57.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amy was my wife for half my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.36,0:01:03.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was my partner in raising\Nthree wonderful, now grown children,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.12,0:01:05.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and really, she was my girl, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.16,0:01:07.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We had so much in common.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.36,0:01:09.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We loved the same art,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.92,0:01:12.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the same documentaries, the same music.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.56,0:01:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Music was a huge part\Nof our life together.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.44,0:01:17.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we shared the same values.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.16,0:01:19.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were in love,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.60,0:01:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our love grew stronger\Nup until her last day.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.20,0:01:27.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amy was a prolific author.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.08,0:01:29.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In addition to two groundbreaking memoirs,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.64,0:01:32.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she published over 30 children's books.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.08,0:01:35.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Posthumously, the book she wrote\Nwith our daughter Paris,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.88,0:01:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called "Dear Girl,"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.52,0:01:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reached the number one position\Non the "New York Times" bestseller list.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.24,0:01:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was a self-described tiny filmmaker.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.64,0:01:48.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was 5'1" and her films\Nwere not that long.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.80,0:01:49.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.84,0:01:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Her films exemplified her natural ability\Nto gather people together.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.24,0:01:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was also a terrific public speaker,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.68,0:02:00.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking with children\Nand adults of all ages
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.84,0:02:02.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all over the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.52,0:02:07.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, my story of grief is only unique\Nin the sense of it being rather public.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.84,0:02:12.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,However, the grieving process itself\Nwas not my story alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.92,0:02:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amy gave me permission to move forward,\Nand I'm so grateful for that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.04,0:02:21.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, just a little over a year\Ninto my new life,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.08,0:02:22.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've learned a few things.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.64,0:02:26.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm here to share with you\Npart of the process of moving forward
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.68,0:02:28.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through and with grief.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.24,0:02:32.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But before I do that,\NI think it would be important
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.68,0:02:34.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to talk a little bit\Nabout the end of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.76,0:02:37.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it forms how I have been\Nemotionally since then.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.80,0:02:41.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Death is such a taboo subject, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.44,0:02:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amy ate her last meal on January 9, 2017.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.92,0:02:48.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She somehow lived an additional two months
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.00,0:02:50.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without solid food.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.48,0:02:55.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Her doctors told us\Nwe could do hospice at home
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.64,0:02:56.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or in the hospital.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.96,0:03:01.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They did not tell us that Amy\Nwould shrink to half her body weight,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.96,0:03:04.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she would never lay\Nwith her husband again,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.72,0:03:08.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that walking upstairs to our bedroom\Nwould soon feel like running a marathon.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.88,0:03:15.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Home hospice does have an aura of being\Na beautiful environment to die in.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.76,0:03:18.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How great that you don't have\Nthe sounds of machines beeping
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.60,0:03:21.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and going on and off all the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.24,0:03:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no disruptions for mandatory\Ndrug administration,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.16,0:03:28.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,home with your family to die.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.64,0:03:34.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We did our best to make those weeks\Nas meaningful as we could.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.72,0:03:36.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We talked often about death.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.76,0:03:40.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody knows it's going\Nto happen to them, like, for sure,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.32,0:03:43.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but being able to talk openly\Nabout it was liberating.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.04,0:03:47.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We talked about subjects like parenting.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.08,0:03:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I asked Amy how I could be the best parent\Npossible to our children in her absence.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.00,0:03:56.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In those conversations,\Nshe gave me confidence
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.60,0:04:00.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by stressing what a great relationship\NI had with each one of them,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.16,0:04:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that I can do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.40,0:04:05.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know there will be many times
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.16,0:04:08.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I wish she and I\Ncan make decisions together.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.16,0:04:10.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were always so in sync.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.32,0:04:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,May I be so audacious as to suggest
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.84,0:04:18.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you have these conversations now,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.64,0:04:20.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when healthy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.28,0:04:22.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please don't wait.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.24,0:04:28.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As part of our hospice experience,\Nwe organized groups of visitors.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.28,0:04:32.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How brave of Amy to receive them,\Neven as she began her physical decline.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.48,0:04:35.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We had a Krouse night,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.04,0:04:37.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her parents and three siblings.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.44,0:04:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friends and family were next.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.80,0:04:42.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each told beautiful stories\Nof Amy and of us.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.56,0:04:46.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amy made an immense impact\Non her loyal friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.96,0:04:52.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But home hospice is not so beautiful\Nfor the surviving family members.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.80,0:04:57.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to get a little personal here\Nand tell you that to this date,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.52,0:05:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have memories of those\Nfinal weeks that haunt me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.56,0:05:05.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember walking backwards\Nto the bathroom,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.76,0:05:09.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,assisting Amy with each step.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.76,0:05:11.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt so strong.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.92,0:05:13.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not such a big guy,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.20,0:05:18.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but my arms looked and felt so healthy\Ncompared to Amy's frail body.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.72,0:05:21.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that body failed in our house.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.64,0:05:26.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On March 13 of last year,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.16,0:05:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my wife died of ovarian cancer in our bed.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.92,0:05:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I carried her lifeless body
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.36,0:05:39.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,down our stairs,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.52,0:05:42.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through our dining room
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.08,0:05:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our living room
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.60,0:05:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a waiting gurney
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.08,0:05:50.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to have her body cremated.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.16,0:05:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will never get that image\Nout of my head.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.24,0:05:58.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you know someone who has been\Nthrough the hospice experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.36,0:05:59.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,acknowledge that.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.64,0:06:01.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just say you heard this guy Jason
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.28,0:06:03.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talk about how tough it must be\Nto have those memories
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.92,0:06:06.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that you're there\Nif they ever want to talk about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.76,0:06:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They may not want to talk,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.80,0:06:13.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's nice to connect with someone\Nliving each day with those lasting images.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.28,0:06:18.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know this sounds unbelievable,\Nbut I've never been asked that question.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.60,0:06:23.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Amy's essay caused me\Nto experience grief in a public way.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.00,0:06:28.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many of the readers who reached out to me\Nwrote beautiful words of reflection.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.52,0:06:32.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The scope of Amy's impact\Nwas deeper and richer
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.92,0:06:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than even us and her family knew.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.40,0:06:40.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of the responses I received helped me\Nwith the intense grieving process
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.24,0:06:41.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of their humor,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.44,0:06:44.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like this email I received\Nfrom a woman reader
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.64,0:06:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who read the article, declaring,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.16,0:06:50.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I will marry you when you are ready --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.08,0:06:51.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.68,0:06:53.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"provided you permanently stop drinking.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.04,0:06:56.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No other conditions.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.56,0:06:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I promise to outlive you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.84,0:07:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.68,0:07:07.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I do like a good tequila,\Nbut that really is not my issue.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.04,0:07:09.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet how could I say no to that proposal?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.20,0:07:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.28,0:07:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I laughed through the tears when I read\Nthis note from a family friend:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.20,0:07:18.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I remember Shabbat dinners at your home
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.92,0:07:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Amy teaching me\Nhow to make cornbread croutons.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.88,0:07:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only Amy could find\Ncreativity in croutons."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.58,0:07:27.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.52,0:07:34.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On July 27, just a few months\Nafter Amy's death,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.24,0:07:35.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my dad died of complications
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.88,0:07:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,related to a decades-long battle\Nwith Parkinson's disease.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.40,0:07:43.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had to wonder: How much\Ncan the human condition handle?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.68,0:07:47.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What makes us capable\Nof dealing with this intense loss
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.92,0:07:49.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yet carry on?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.36,0:07:52.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was this a test?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.12,0:07:54.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why my family and my amazing children?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.32,0:07:59.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Looking for answers, I regret to say,\Nis a lifelong mission,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.44,0:08:04.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the key to my being able to persevere
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.44,0:08:08.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is Amy's expressed and very public edict
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.04,0:08:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I must go on.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.52,0:08:13.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Throughout this year,\NI have done just that.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.60,0:08:18.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have attempted to step out\Nand seek the joy and the beauty
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.80,0:08:22.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I know this life\Nis capable of providing.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.32,0:08:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's the reality:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.76,0:08:28.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those family gatherings,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.08,0:08:30.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,attending weddings\Nand events honoring Amy,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.56,0:08:32.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as loving as they are,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.60,0:08:35.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have all been very difficult to endure.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.24,0:08:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People say I'm amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.52,0:08:40.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How do you handle yourself\Nthat way during those times?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.24,0:08:42.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They say, "You do it with such grace."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.56,0:08:45.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, guess what?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.32,0:08:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really am sad a lot of the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.16,0:08:53.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I often feel like I'm kind of a mess,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.24,0:08:57.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I know these feelings\Napply to other surviving spouses,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.40,0:08:59.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,children, parents
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.72,0:09:02.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and other family members.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.00,0:09:06.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Japanese Zen, there is a term "Shoji,"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.72,0:09:09.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which translates as "birth death."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.92,0:09:12.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no separation\Nbetween life and death
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.72,0:09:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other than a thin line\Nthat connects the two.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.28,0:09:20.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Birth, or the joyous,\Nwonderful, vital parts of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.88,0:09:23.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and death, those things\Nwe want to get rid of,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.32,0:09:25.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are said to be faced equally.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.68,0:09:28.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this new life that I find myself in,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.88,0:09:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am doing my best to embrace this concept\Nas I move forward with grieving.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.48,0:09:37.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the early months\Nfollowing Amy's death, though,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.00,0:09:41.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was sure that the feeling of despair\Nwould be ever-present,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.72,0:09:43.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it would be all-consuming.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.96,0:09:48.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Soon I was fortunate\Nto receive some promising advice.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.68,0:09:51.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many members of the losing-a-spouse club
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.88,0:09:53.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reached out to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.68,0:09:58.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One friend in particular who had also\Nlost her life partner kept repeating,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.36,0:10:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Jason, you will find joy."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.56,0:10:04.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't even know\Nwhat she was talking about.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.80,0:10:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How was that possible?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.76,0:10:10.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But because Amy gave me\Nvery public permission
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.48,0:10:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to also find happiness,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.36,0:10:16.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I now have experienced joy\Nfrom time to time.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.88,0:10:22.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There it was, dancing the night away\Nat an LCD Soundsystem concert,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.40,0:10:27.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,traveling with my brother and best friend\Nor with a college buddy on a boys' trip
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.36,0:10:29.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to meet a group of great guys\NI never met before.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.84,0:10:35.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From observing that my deck had sun\Nbeating down on it on a cold day,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.72,0:10:37.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stepping out in it, laying there,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.00,0:10:40.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the warmth consuming my body.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.68,0:10:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The joy comes from my three\Nstunning children.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.92,0:10:50.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was my son Justin,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.56,0:10:53.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,texting me a picture of himself\Nwith an older gentleman
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.20,0:10:58.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a massive, strong forearm\Nand the caption, "I just met Popeye,"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.16,0:10:59.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a huge grin on his face.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.88,0:11:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.36,0:11:03.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was his brother Miles,\Nwalking to the train
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.92,0:11:06.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for his first day of work\Nafter graduating college,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.40,0:11:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who stopped and looked\Nback at me and asked,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.52,0:11:10.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What am I forgetting?"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.32,0:11:14.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I assured him right away,\N"You are 100 percent ready. You got this."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.04,0:11:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my daughter Paris,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.88,0:11:20.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walking together\Nthrough Battersea Park in London,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.92,0:11:22.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the leaves piled high,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.76,0:11:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sun glistening in the early morning\Non our way to yoga.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.88,0:11:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would add that beauty\Nis also there to discover,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.16,0:11:34.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I mean beauty of the wabi-sabi variety
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.60,0:11:36.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but beauty nonetheless.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.16,0:11:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the one hand, when I see something\Nin this category, I want to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.52,0:11:42.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Amy, did you see that? Did you hear that?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.96,0:11:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's too beautiful\Nfor you not to share with me."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.32,0:11:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the other hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.80,0:11:52.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I now experience these moments
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.92,0:11:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in an entirely new way.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.60,0:11:59.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was the beauty I found in music,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.36,0:12:02.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the moment in the newest\NManchester Orchestra album,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.92,0:12:04.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when the song "The Alien"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.24,0:12:06.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seamlessly transitions\Ninto "The Sunshine,"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.84,0:12:12.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the haunting beauty\Nof Luke Sital-Singh's "Killing Me,"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.40,0:12:14.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whose chorus reads,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.12,0:12:17.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And it's killing me\Nthat you're not here with me.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.08,0:12:21.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm living happily,\Nbut I'm feeling guilty."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.80,0:12:28.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is beauty in the simple moments\Nthat life has to offer,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.12,0:12:32.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a way of seeing that world\Nthat was so much a part of Amy's DNA,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.52,0:12:34.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like on my morning commute,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.56,0:12:37.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,looking at the sun\Nreflecting off of Lake Michigan,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.80,0:12:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or stopping and truly seeing\Nhow the light shines
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.32,0:12:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at different times of the day
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.56,0:12:46.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the house we built together;
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.40,0:12:51.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even after a Chicago storm,\Nnoticing the fresh buildup of snow
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.36,0:12:53.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,throughout the neighborhood;
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.12,0:12:56.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or peeking into my daughter's room
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.48,0:12:58.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as she's practicing the bass guitar.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.28,0:13:05.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listen, I want to make it clear\Nthat I'm a very fortunate person.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.20,0:13:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have the most amazing family\Nthat loves and supports me.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.84,0:13:14.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have the resources for personal growth\Nduring my time of grief.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.68,0:13:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But whether it's a divorce,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.44,0:13:21.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,losing a job you worked so hard at
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.16,0:13:23.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or having a family member die suddenly
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.28,0:13:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or of a slow-moving and painful death,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.88,0:13:28.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would like to offer you
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.88,0:13:30.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what I was given:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.32,0:13:33.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a blank of sheet of paper.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.32,0:13:39.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What will you do\Nwith your intentional empty space,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.92,0:13:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with your fresh start?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.88,0:13:45.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.12,0:13:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)