WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.396 I know exactly what you're saying when you 00:00:02.548 --> 00:00:04.902 say like when you're sitting at home writing 00:00:04.902 --> 00:00:06.949 you're not like, I'm deaf, I'm deaf 00:00:06.949 --> 00:00:07.866 I'm deaf, I say the same for me 00:00:07.866 --> 00:00:08.784 like when I'm 00:00:08.784 --> 00:00:10.197 sitting around doing my makeup 00:00:10.197 --> 00:00:13.083 I'm not like ooh I'm blind, I'm blind 00:00:13.113 --> 00:00:15.219 Like, I'm not thinking about my 00:00:15.219 --> 00:00:17.340 blindness, I'm just living my life 00:00:17.340 --> 00:00:19.614 because this is our normal 00:00:19.614 --> 00:00:24.955 (Music) 00:00:24.956 --> 00:00:27.072 Hello everybody, we are back 00:00:27.072 --> 00:00:29.089 with my series , where I sit down 00:00:29.089 --> 00:00:30.505 with another person 00:00:30.505 --> 00:00:32.039 from the disability community 00:00:32.039 --> 00:00:33.855 and we disscuss all things 00:00:33.855 --> 00:00:36.022 life and disability related 00:00:36.022 --> 00:00:38.439 and this one is probably the 00:00:38.439 --> 00:00:41.639 most requested that I've seen. 00:00:41.639 --> 00:00:44.646 So we finally have Jessica 00:00:44.646 --> 00:00:46.433 and I'm gonna let you say your 00:00:46.433 --> 00:00:48.024 last name 00:00:48.024 --> 00:00:52.475 (Laughs) Jessica Kellgren-Fozard 00:00:52.475 --> 00:00:54.928 It's ok, I know, it's a difficult surname 00:00:54.928 --> 00:00:58.311 we literally like went over this before 00:00:58.311 --> 00:00:59.611 we started filming 00:00:59.611 --> 00:01:00.644 We've just been like talking on 00:01:00.644 --> 00:01:01.728 Google Meet 00:01:01.728 --> 00:01:04.095 And I was like, practicing the name 00:01:04.095 --> 00:01:05.378 and I was like no, you know what, 00:01:05.378 --> 00:01:07.228 I got here, I was too deep, 00:01:07.228 --> 00:01:08.211 I was like, I'm jumping 00:01:08.211 --> 00:01:09.325 out of the pool. 00:01:09.325 --> 00:01:11.145 She'll take over. So thank you- 00:01:11.145 --> 00:01:13.812 It's ok. It's complex. 00:01:13.812 --> 00:01:14.812 The Kellgren bit is Swedish, 00:01:14.812 --> 00:01:16.695 the Fozard is my wife's surname, 00:01:16.695 --> 00:01:18.661 it's from Normandy, smush it together, 00:01:18.661 --> 00:01:20.078 it's complicated for everyone. 00:01:20.078 --> 00:01:22.711 Or Jessica Out Of The Closet, 00:01:22.711 --> 00:01:25.495 which I think is a brilliant name 00:01:25.495 --> 00:01:27.160 because not only are you one of 00:01:27.160 --> 00:01:30.357 the most fabulous fashionistas 00:01:30.357 --> 00:01:32.128 that I follow on social media, 00:01:32.128 --> 00:01:34.611 but you are also in fact out of 00:01:34.611 --> 00:01:37.344 the closet, and so I think it's just 00:01:37.344 --> 00:01:38.977 such a fun username. 00:01:38.977 --> 00:01:41.041 (Laughs) Yeah, 00:01:41.041 --> 00:01:42.944 out of the closet in many ways. 00:01:42.944 --> 00:01:44.428 Out of the gay closet, out of the 00:01:44.428 --> 00:01:46.977 disability closet, just living life open. 00:01:46.977 --> 00:01:48.874 That's the way to live life. 00:01:48.874 --> 00:01:50.677 Being your best, most authentic, 00:01:50.677 --> 00:01:52.960 confident queen self. And that is 00:01:52.960 --> 00:01:54.693 exactly what you do. 00:01:54.693 --> 00:01:57.010 I watch your videos and I 00:01:57.010 --> 00:01:59.027 legitimately laugh out loud. 00:01:59.027 --> 00:02:01.360 Like you're one of, not only the most 00:02:01.360 --> 00:02:03.193 fashionable people I follow but one of 00:02:03.193 --> 00:02:04.889 the funniest people I follow, 00:02:04.889 --> 00:02:07.810 and I think that you, just by simply 00:02:07.810 --> 00:02:10.760 being you, break so many disability 00:02:10.760 --> 00:02:14.205 stereotypes and misconceptions, 00:02:14.205 --> 00:02:17.343 and I think it's so fabulous for just- 00:02:17.343 --> 00:02:18.577 so thank you for just exisiting 00:02:18.577 --> 00:02:19.960 on the internet. 00:02:19.960 --> 00:02:22.393 (Laughs) I mean, I could say 00:02:22.393 --> 00:02:24.376 the same thing about you, Molly. 00:02:24.376 --> 00:02:26.277 I woke up this morning and I was like, 00:02:26.277 --> 00:02:28.278 OK, Molly, you have to try to look, like, 00:02:28.278 --> 00:02:30.710 a little bit half fabulous 00:02:30.710 --> 00:02:32.609 because you're going to be sitting next to 00:02:32.609 --> 00:02:34.309 Jessica in a video and it's going 00:02:34.309 --> 00:02:35.627 to be embarrassing. 00:02:35.627 --> 00:02:38.793 Oh no, I think you are incredibly stylish, 00:02:38.793 --> 00:02:40.526 I must say. I always enjoy 00:02:40.526 --> 00:02:41.572 your Instagram as well. 00:02:41.572 --> 00:02:43.593 Thank you, I appreciate it. 00:02:43.593 --> 00:02:46.475 So, I know a ton of my audience 00:02:46.475 --> 00:02:48.027 knows and loves your content already 00:02:48.027 --> 00:02:50.176 but for those who don't, would you like to 00:02:50.176 --> 00:02:52.276 kind of give the brief introduction of who 00:02:52.276 --> 00:02:54.059 Jessica is in a nutshell. 00:02:54.059 --> 00:02:56.043 My goodness, okay, the elevator pitch 00:02:56.043 --> 00:02:58.526 of me, then, I guess. 00:02:58.526 --> 00:03:00.577 So, I'm Jessica, I'm a YouTuber, 00:03:00.577 --> 00:03:02.609 content creator. I make content that is 00:03:02.609 --> 00:03:06.742 generally fun, informative, educational, 00:03:06.742 --> 00:03:09.426 amusing, around things that are to do with 00:03:09.426 --> 00:03:12.059 disability, chronic illness, and LGBTQ+ 00:03:12.059 --> 00:03:15.092 issues. So I have two genetic conditions, 00:03:15.092 --> 00:03:16.975 hereditary neuropathy with liability to pressure 00:03:16.975 --> 00:03:19.326 palsies, which means that there are gaps 00:03:19.326 --> 00:03:22.310 in the myelin sheaths that surround your nerves. 00:03:22.310 --> 00:03:24.825 For me that means that I can paralyze 00:03:24.825 --> 00:03:27.509 parts of myself, that my nerves are more 00:03:27.509 --> 00:03:29.943 easily damaged, which does things like 00:03:29.943 --> 00:03:32.559 affect my hearing and I have loss of 00:03:32.559 --> 00:03:34.959 vision in one eye because of it, and it 00:03:34.959 --> 00:03:37.174 can do things like my hands don't have 00:03:37.174 --> 00:03:39.825 any feeling because I paralyzed both of 00:03:39.825 --> 00:03:41.691 my arms for a year and a half when I was 00:03:41.691 --> 00:03:44.076 a teenager. And they came back to a 00:03:44.076 --> 00:03:47.410 certain degree, but they can't now feel 00:03:47.410 --> 00:03:49.105 anything, so it's like wearing gloves 00:03:49.105 --> 00:03:50.908 all of the time. And I don't get hot and 00:03:50.908 --> 00:03:53.142 cold, any of those kinds of things, 00:03:53.142 --> 00:03:55.442 or wet. Which is really annoying when 00:03:55.442 --> 00:03:57.392 you're trying to hang up the washing, 00:03:57.392 --> 00:03:58.443 'cause you're like, is this wet? 00:03:58.443 --> 00:04:00.991 Is this dry? Absolutely no idea. 00:04:00.991 --> 00:04:02.909 And I end up having to like, press my face 00:04:02.909 --> 00:04:05.009 to all of my laundry to see whether it's 00:04:05.009 --> 00:04:07.792 dry or not. Very strange thing. 00:04:07.792 --> 00:04:10.508 And then you just get a random cheek stain 00:04:10.508 --> 00:04:12.225 or random foundation stain on the side 00:04:12.225 --> 00:04:13.389 of your white shirt. 00:04:13.389 --> 00:04:15.474 I mean, I should add, I only do this when 00:04:15.474 --> 00:04:17.974 I'm not wearing makeup. (Laughs) 00:04:17.974 --> 00:04:19.158 Pro tip. 00:04:19.158 --> 00:04:21.625 And then I also have Ehlers Danlos 00:04:21.625 --> 00:04:24.473 Syndrome, which is about my connective 00:04:24.473 --> 00:04:26.523 tissue, and means that not only am I 00:04:26.523 --> 00:04:30.259 hyper mobile, and very flexible and bendy, 00:04:30.259 --> 00:04:32.106 which most people think is like, whoa, 00:04:32.106 --> 00:04:34.179 what a great party trick, and it is, 00:04:34.179 --> 00:04:36.519 it's a pretty good party trick that I 00:04:36.519 --> 00:04:39.051 perhaps overused when I was a child. 00:04:39.051 --> 00:04:41.522 I dislocated various things just to prove 00:04:41.522 --> 00:04:43.626 to people that I could. Don't do that. 00:04:43.626 --> 00:04:45.397 That's a terrible idea. Don't do that. 00:04:45.397 --> 00:04:48.815 But it also affects connective tissue in 00:04:48.815 --> 00:04:51.223 things like my internal organs, 00:04:51.223 --> 00:04:53.397 so I have some issues with my heart, and 00:04:53.397 --> 00:04:56.145 I have postural orthostatic tachycardia 00:04:56.145 --> 00:04:58.240 syndrome, which comes from that, 00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:02.079 which is just a regulating blood pressure 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:07.296 issue, so I faint a lot. And I can't exert 00:05:07.296 --> 00:05:10.128 myself too much, basically I go up two 00:05:10.128 --> 00:05:12.055 flights of stairs and I'm like, oh gosh, 00:05:12.055 --> 00:05:13.571 there's a heart attack coming. 00:05:13.571 --> 00:05:15.512 Ok, wonderful, and then I've got to lie 00:05:15.512 --> 00:05:17.094 on the floor for half an hour. 00:05:17.094 --> 00:05:19.558 And the vintage fashion is just a layer 00:05:19.558 --> 00:05:21.894 over the top, just to make everything look 00:05:21.894 --> 00:05:22.976 gorgeous while we're here 00:05:23.018 --> 00:05:24.243 I think you should 00:05:24.243 --> 00:05:25.723 make more fashion content. 00:05:25.723 --> 00:05:27.411 I'm putting the pitch in now, 00:05:27.411 --> 00:05:28.976 and I think a lot of people 00:05:28.976 --> 00:05:30.946 in the comments will agree 00:05:30.946 --> 00:05:33.006 that you should have like a whole segment 00:05:33.006 --> 00:05:34.789 of your channel devoted to 00:05:34.789 --> 00:05:37.929 fashion content because we need that 00:05:37.929 --> 00:05:39.729 vintage inspo that you bring. 00:05:39.730 --> 00:05:42.250 We need your vintage wisdom. 00:05:42.250 --> 00:05:44.366 I was just, like, as we were talking 00:05:44.381 --> 00:05:46.071 before we started filming, I was 00:05:46.071 --> 00:05:47.451 peppering her with questions 00:05:47.451 --> 00:05:48.981 about the vintage fashion scene 00:05:48.981 --> 00:05:51.361 because I am fascinated by it 00:05:51.361 --> 00:05:52.953 and whenever I've tried to do it, 00:05:52.953 --> 00:05:55.819 it has not necessarily panned out 00:05:55.819 --> 00:05:58.141 So, I feel like you should make fashion 00:05:58.141 --> 00:05:59.990 videos and you know when I started 00:05:59.990 --> 00:06:01.350 doing fashion content 00:06:01.350 --> 00:06:03.116 it was kind of like a total mistake 00:06:03.116 --> 00:06:05.516 I wanted to make one video about, like, 00:06:05.516 --> 00:06:07.374 accessibility of online shopping 00:06:07.374 --> 00:06:08.102 and that was 00:06:08.102 --> 00:06:09.049 supposed to be it. 00:06:09.049 --> 00:06:10.832 But people requested me keep doing it 00:06:10.832 --> 00:06:11.612 and I was like 00:06:11.612 --> 00:06:13.682 "Well, If you want me to feed my addiction 00:06:13.682 --> 00:06:15.582 and talk about something I love, 00:06:15.582 --> 00:06:17.298 I am happy to do so" 00:06:17.298 --> 00:06:19.456 There is people 00:06:19.456 --> 00:06:21.796 in the disability activism community 00:06:21.796 --> 00:06:24.053 who have been upset by that. 00:06:24.053 --> 00:06:27.312 Like, they want me to kind of dedicate 00:06:27.312 --> 00:06:28.582 my channel to disability. 00:06:29.508 --> 00:06:31.989 And I can understand that, but 00:06:31.989 --> 00:06:33.663 to me, I am a human 00:06:33.663 --> 00:06:35.718 and disabilities are a very real, 00:06:35.718 --> 00:06:37.062 important topic to me 00:06:37.062 --> 00:06:38.580 and it affects my life daily, 00:06:39.283 --> 00:06:40.884 but so does fashion 00:06:40.884 --> 00:06:42.907 and the confidence that fashion gives me! 00:06:42.907 --> 00:06:43.975 So does makeup, 00:06:43.975 --> 00:06:45.069 so does my guide dog, 00:06:45.069 --> 00:06:46.060 so does dating, 00:06:46.060 --> 00:06:48.116 so do all these other aspects 00:06:48.116 --> 00:06:49.668 and I think it's very important 00:06:49.668 --> 00:06:51.739 for us, as a disability community, 00:06:51.739 --> 00:06:54.389 to show society the human side 00:06:54.389 --> 00:06:56.130 of our day-to-day life 00:06:56.130 --> 00:06:58.760 and the very normal, average 00:06:58.760 --> 00:07:00.875 human things that we love 00:07:00.875 --> 00:07:02.121 and that we partake in. 00:07:02.121 --> 00:07:03.911 Of course, of course 00:07:03.911 --> 00:07:06.420 I always link this back to 00:07:06.420 --> 00:07:07.314 children's books 00:07:07.314 --> 00:07:09.166 because I think it's the easiest way 00:07:09.166 --> 00:07:11.458 to understand people learning new concepts 00:07:11.458 --> 00:07:14.249 So, there are so many children's books 00:07:14.249 --> 00:07:16.056 that are about issues. 00:07:16.056 --> 00:07:17.114 It's about 00:07:17.114 --> 00:07:19.087 "Some people are in wheelchairs" 00:07:19.087 --> 00:07:21.563 or "some people have 2 mums" 00:07:21.563 --> 00:07:24.115 and kids don't love them. 00:07:24.115 --> 00:07:26.416 They don't want to read those books, 00:07:26.416 --> 00:07:28.071 because they're very much 00:07:28.071 --> 00:07:30.571 focused on this one object that you need 00:07:30.571 --> 00:07:32.257 to learn. It's not fun! 00:07:32.257 --> 00:07:34.507 Whereas, when they are reading 00:07:34.507 --> 00:07:36.442 like a fun, adventure book 00:07:36.442 --> 00:07:38.129 where oh, the main character just 00:07:38.129 --> 00:07:40.268 happens to have a disability 00:07:40.268 --> 00:07:42.499 or just happens to have a different 00:07:42.499 --> 00:07:45.110 family setup to the nuclear family. 00:07:45.110 --> 00:07:47.164 Then it's more engaging 00:07:47.164 --> 00:07:49.564 and they are more willing to learn things 00:07:49.564 --> 00:07:51.178 And I know the great things about 00:07:51.178 --> 00:07:53.393 having disabled content creators 00:07:53.393 --> 00:07:54.679 who are creating content 00:07:54.679 --> 00:07:56.718 that isn't just disability focused 00:07:56.718 --> 00:07:58.911 is that you are also bringing in people 00:07:58.911 --> 00:08:00.619 who wouldn't have necessarily have 00:08:00.619 --> 00:08:01.647 clicked on your video, 00:08:01.647 --> 00:08:03.125 being like "Ooh, I don't know, 00:08:03.125 --> 00:08:04.138 I don't know want to 00:08:04.138 --> 00:08:05.218 watch something about 00:08:05.218 --> 00:08:05.988 a blind person 00:08:05.988 --> 00:08:06.838 because I've never really 00:08:06.838 --> 00:08:07.568 met a blind person 00:08:07.568 --> 00:08:08.878 and that could be awkward." 00:08:08.878 --> 00:08:10.248 But if it's a video where you are 00:08:10.248 --> 00:08:11.448 doing something else 00:08:11.448 --> 00:08:12.168 and they click in, 00:08:12.168 --> 00:08:12.788 they are like 00:08:12.788 --> 00:08:14.072 "Well, you know what, 00:08:14.072 --> 00:08:15.052 this is actually really interesting! 00:08:15.052 --> 00:08:15.882 I'm gonna keep watching her 00:08:15.882 --> 00:08:17.562 other videos as well." 00:08:17.562 --> 00:08:19.342 And then, it's just a great way 00:08:19.342 --> 00:08:21.228 to lead people in, I think 00:08:21.228 --> 00:08:23.562 And they start to really be 00:08:23.562 --> 00:08:25.249 more involved in the issues, 00:08:25.249 --> 00:08:27.369 it's not something that's far away 00:08:27.369 --> 00:08:28.939 Now, it's "oh, my favourite 00:08:28.939 --> 00:08:30.185 content creator Molly 00:08:30.185 --> 00:08:31.682 also happens to have 00:08:31.682 --> 00:08:32.590 a disability and 00:08:32.590 --> 00:08:34.110 also happens to talk about that. 00:08:34.110 --> 00:08:36.091 And now I've learnt things about it" 00:08:36.091 --> 00:08:38.061 So I always think that's the best way, 00:08:38.061 --> 00:08:39.423 but, actually, Molly, 00:08:39.423 --> 00:08:41.233 two birds, one stone, 00:08:41.233 --> 00:08:43.497 to do with this fashion thing, 00:08:43.497 --> 00:08:44.997 I think the next time you come 00:08:44.997 --> 00:08:46.877 to England, I'm gonna have to give you 00:08:46.877 --> 00:08:47.797 a vintage makeover. 00:08:47.797 --> 00:08:48.505 Oh my gosh, 00:08:48.505 --> 00:08:49.694 absolutely!! 00:08:49.694 --> 00:08:51.372 Once this whole madness 00:08:51.372 --> 00:08:52.788 in this world is done, 00:08:52.788 --> 00:08:54.764 and we're all vaccinated, 00:08:54.764 --> 00:08:56.331 I'm coming out to England, 00:08:56.331 --> 00:08:57.899 so I can finally see my brother 00:08:57.899 --> 00:08:58.890 for the first time 00:08:58.890 --> 00:09:00.335 in over a year. 00:09:00.335 --> 00:09:01.796 AND I can see you 00:09:01.796 --> 00:09:03.778 and we are doing the vintage makeover 00:09:03.778 --> 00:09:05.539 I'm absolutely holding you to that. 00:09:05.539 --> 00:09:07.814 But I could not agree more with 00:09:07.814 --> 00:09:08.894 what you've just said. 00:09:08.894 --> 00:09:11.204 My favourite thing about what 00:09:11.204 --> 00:09:12.504 I do is that I get to 00:09:12.504 --> 00:09:14.473 make learning fun for people. 00:09:14.473 --> 00:09:16.032 I get to teach 00:09:16.032 --> 00:09:18.024 people in a way that entertains them 00:09:18.024 --> 00:09:19.894 that truly is the best way to learn. 00:09:19.894 --> 00:09:21.696 That's how I always 00:09:21.696 --> 00:09:23.363 learned the most growing up 00:09:23.363 --> 00:09:24.764 I was never somebody 00:09:24.764 --> 00:09:26.774 who could sit in class 00:09:26.774 --> 00:09:28.844 and hear you talk to me about something. 00:09:28.844 --> 00:09:30.474 I need to be the one 00:09:30.474 --> 00:09:32.084 that was getting up and doing it 00:09:32.084 --> 00:09:33.614 I was a very kinesthetic learner 00:09:33.614 --> 00:09:35.424 I need to be actually doing the thing 00:09:35.424 --> 00:09:36.524 and immersed in it 00:09:36.524 --> 00:09:38.048 to be able to understand it 00:09:38.048 --> 00:09:39.524 and being able to 00:09:39.524 --> 00:09:41.939 hopefully be entertaining to people 00:09:41.939 --> 00:09:44.802 um, while they- they learn 00:09:44.802 --> 00:09:46.295 and open their minds 00:09:46.295 --> 00:09:47.672 to new ways of thinking 00:09:47.672 --> 00:09:49.046 is so rewarding 00:09:49.046 --> 00:09:50.796 so I completely agree with you 00:09:50.796 --> 00:09:52.212 And I always say 00:09:52.212 --> 00:09:54.212 we talk a lot in the disability community 00:09:54.212 --> 00:09:55.182 about the fact that 00:09:55.182 --> 00:09:56.631 y'know that we're quite low 00:09:56.631 --> 00:09:59.420 on the totem pole of causes 00:09:59.420 --> 00:10:01.213 and of things that people care about 00:10:01.213 --> 00:10:02.724 and talk about or know about. 00:10:02.724 --> 00:10:04.404 You know, you often see those like 00:10:04.404 --> 00:10:05.918 "Diversity panels" 00:10:05.918 --> 00:10:08.193 and it's like everything is shown 00:10:09.536 --> 00:10:10.616 ... except disability. 00:10:10.616 --> 00:10:11.804 And we're like "Hey now, 00:10:12.514 --> 00:10:13.214 "Hi" 00:10:13.214 --> 00:10:15.208 "Where are we at the table" 00:10:15.208 --> 00:10:17.275 I think so many different 00:10:17.275 --> 00:10:18.970 brands and companies 00:10:18.970 --> 00:10:20.740 think that they can kind of get away 00:10:20.740 --> 00:10:22.615 doing the absolute least 00:10:22.615 --> 00:10:24.635 when it comes to disability representation 00:10:24.635 --> 00:10:26.590 Whether that be in adverts 00:10:26.590 --> 00:10:28.988 or actually making things accessible. 00:10:28.988 --> 00:10:31.427 So many of them think 00:10:31.427 --> 00:10:33.217 "Oh, a person in a wheelchair 00:10:33.217 --> 00:10:34.399 and we're done. 00:10:34.399 --> 00:10:36.058 That's it we've represented every 00:10:36.058 --> 00:10:37.188 disabled person, 00:10:37.188 --> 00:10:39.547 we've covered everyone's needs, excellent. 00:10:39.547 --> 00:10:41.849 Of course our brand is friendly to the 00:10:41.849 --> 00:10:43.825 disabled community, we have a ramp!" 00:10:43.825 --> 00:10:46.274 And you're like, "Uh-huh, I see. 00:10:46.274 --> 00:10:48.954 And how are you helping every other 00:10:48.954 --> 00:10:50.582 disabled person?" 00:10:50.582 --> 00:10:51.332 Mhm, mhm. 00:10:51.332 --> 00:10:53.691 Like, people who use wheelchairs 00:10:53.691 --> 00:10:55.780 actually make up quite a small part 00:10:55.780 --> 00:10:58.650 of the disability population as a whole. 00:10:58.650 --> 00:11:00.779 And, people just cannot get this through 00:11:00.779 --> 00:11:02.492 their heads and, of course, having 00:11:02.492 --> 00:11:04.430 the disability symbol be a wheelchair, 00:11:04.430 --> 00:11:07.970 obviously a very visual way to get that 00:11:07.970 --> 00:11:10.400 across very neatly, but it does tend 00:11:10.400 --> 00:11:12.931 to make people forget everyone else. 00:11:13.577 --> 00:11:15.581 Yes and I- I don't know if this has been 00:11:15.581 --> 00:11:17.601 happening in England but over the 00:11:17.601 --> 00:11:19.564 last number of years I've been seeing 00:11:19.564 --> 00:11:22.672 in North America one change is 00:11:22.672 --> 00:11:24.974 certain places are adding other stickers 00:11:24.974 --> 00:11:27.188 that represent other disabilities. 00:11:27.188 --> 00:11:29.571 Which is nice because for example on 00:11:29.571 --> 00:11:33.146 public transit, like a bus, I need to 00:11:33.146 --> 00:11:35.374 sit down, it's not a question I need to 00:11:35.374 --> 00:11:37.341 be able to sit. Because balance is a 00:11:37.341 --> 00:11:39.185 combination, as I'm sure you know as 00:11:39.185 --> 00:11:41.081 deaf woman, of ears and eyes. 00:11:41.081 --> 00:11:43.039 And so my balance, not being able to see 00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:46.049 is quite off. And so standing on a moving 00:11:46.049 --> 00:11:48.631 vehicle, even if I'm holding a pole, is 00:11:48.631 --> 00:11:51.141 just not really a thing for me. So I need 00:11:51.141 --> 00:11:53.781 sit. And so when I get on a bus with my 00:11:53.781 --> 00:11:56.493 guide dog, people used to not register 00:11:56.493 --> 00:11:58.348 that I was somebody who they needed to 00:11:58.348 --> 00:12:00.198 get out of the disability seating for. 00:12:00.198 --> 00:12:02.081 Um, so they would just continue to sit 00:12:02.081 --> 00:12:04.025 there. But now they've added these 00:12:04.025 --> 00:12:06.441 stickers where it's like a man with a cane 00:12:06.441 --> 00:12:09.422 a person in a wheelchair and there's 00:12:09.422 --> 00:12:11.271 somebody with a walker and I'm like 00:12:11.271 --> 00:12:13.708 Thank you for showing multiple visuals 00:12:13.708 --> 00:12:15.745 of what somebody who might need to sit in 00:12:15.745 --> 00:12:18.152 disability seating could present as. 00:12:18.152 --> 00:12:20.358 Yeah, I've definitely seen in the last few 00:12:20.358 --> 00:12:22.338 years that kind of not all disabilities 00:12:22.338 --> 00:12:25.807 are visible stickers on a lot more things 00:12:25.807 --> 00:12:28.585 in public places. And it's so good to see 00:12:28.585 --> 00:12:31.742 because I remember when I very first- 00:12:31.742 --> 00:12:34.718 so I kind of grew up with a disability 00:12:34.718 --> 00:12:37.158 but it wasn't, well I'm not going to say 00:12:37.158 --> 00:12:39.332 noticed, but it wasn't diagnosed until 00:12:39.332 --> 00:12:42.359 I was 17. And then when I was 17 and I 00:12:42.359 --> 00:12:44.360 suddenly had this big health crisis and 00:12:44.360 --> 00:12:47.060 very much did need to use, you know, 00:12:47.060 --> 00:12:48.837 disabled toilets and I need to have 00:12:48.837 --> 00:12:51.767 access to things. I had a lot of issues 00:12:51.767 --> 00:12:54.973 with this. Because people were constantly 00:12:54.973 --> 00:12:57.138 trying to stop me from using things 00:12:57.138 --> 00:12:59.972 saying "Oh that's not for you that's for 00:12:59.972 --> 00:13:02.197 disabled people." And I'm like I mean 00:13:02.197 --> 00:13:04.910 I am, I don't know what I can do to- 00:13:04.910 --> 00:13:07.776 to make this more obvious to people, that 00:13:07.776 --> 00:13:09.603 I'm really struggling and things would 00:13:09.603 --> 00:13:11.835 help me like this. So it's, it is really 00:13:11.835 --> 00:13:15.042 lovely to see now. I worry less about 00:13:15.042 --> 00:13:17.239 using disabled toilets in public 00:13:17.239 --> 00:13:19.560 when they have a "Not all disabilities 00:13:19.560 --> 00:13:22.020 are visible" sticker on them. Because the 00:13:22.020 --> 00:13:24.699 dirty jokes I've received coming out of a 00:13:24.699 --> 00:13:27.921 disabled toilet on two feet is like, ugh. 00:13:27.921 --> 00:13:29.771 Well I think part of the problem with 00:13:29.771 --> 00:13:31.846 that too is how many able-bodied people 00:13:31.846 --> 00:13:34.597 just do use the toilet for people with a 00:13:34.597 --> 00:13:35.337 disability? 00:13:36.944 --> 00:13:39.028 Um, so many, so many able bodied people 00:13:39.028 --> 00:13:43.028 do use different facilities that are 00:13:43.028 --> 00:13:45.603 accessible and designed for people who 00:13:45.603 --> 00:13:47.523 actually need them due to a disability. 00:13:47.523 --> 00:13:50.069 And, so now I think when people see 00:13:50.069 --> 00:13:52.643 somebody presenting as able-bodied, they 00:13:52.643 --> 00:13:54.573 just kind of assume they're able-bodied 00:13:54.573 --> 00:13:56.553 because of how many able-bodied people do 00:13:56.553 --> 00:13:58.433 take advantage of having a little extra 00:13:58.433 --> 00:14:01.063 wiggle room in the stall for when they're 00:14:01.063 --> 00:14:03.207 pooping and they don't want anyone to hear 00:14:03.207 --> 00:14:05.067 it and I'm like that's not what, that's 00:14:05.067 --> 00:14:07.027 not what that was for. It's not for all 00:14:07.027 --> 00:14:08.777 you extra shopping bags, ma'am. 00:14:08.777 --> 00:14:10.857 It's for people who require either the bar 00:14:10.857 --> 00:14:13.687 for support, who require the extra room 00:14:13.687 --> 00:14:16.417 for a support worker, for a service 00:14:16.417 --> 00:14:18.627 animal, for a mobility device. Like 00:14:18.627 --> 00:14:21.618 there's many reasons that that exists. 00:14:21.618 --> 00:14:23.448 But your extra shopping bags or like 00:14:23.448 --> 00:14:26.361 extra room for popping, isn't what it was 00:14:26.361 --> 00:14:27.151 for. 00:14:27.151 --> 00:14:29.142 The unfortunate thing as well is that 00:14:29.142 --> 00:14:31.195 so many places will put their baby 00:14:31.195 --> 00:14:33.788 changing facilities into the disabled 00:14:33.788 --> 00:14:37.149 toilets. And it's not like a special 00:14:37.149 --> 00:14:40.699 um, weighted table it means that you can 00:14:40.699 --> 00:14:44.121 anyone larger than a baby. It's literally 00:14:44.121 --> 00:14:46.492 just there because they've lumped in 00:14:46.492 --> 00:14:48.962 parents, disabled people, sure. You can 00:14:48.962 --> 00:14:50.798 use the same facilities, it's fine. 00:14:50.798 --> 00:14:52.952 You know, you'll never need more than one 00:14:52.952 --> 00:14:55.266 person using it at the same time. And I've 00:14:55.266 --> 00:14:57.935 had things where I have walked out of a 00:14:57.935 --> 00:15:01.355 disabled toilet and a mother rammed her 00:15:01.355 --> 00:15:04.794 buggy into my legs and was like "Oh, not 00:15:04.794 --> 00:15:07.643 disabled or with a child then." And I was 00:15:07.643 --> 00:15:09.792 like uhhhh... And at the time- 00:15:09.792 --> 00:15:12.034 Actually very disabled thank you! 00:15:12.034 --> 00:15:14.862 And at the time I mean I was a teenager 00:15:14.862 --> 00:15:18.932 and I was too upset to say anything or do 00:15:18.932 --> 00:15:22.036 anything. I'd only just been diagnosed 00:15:22.036 --> 00:15:24.639 and I was like, oh this label of disabled 00:15:24.639 --> 00:15:26.649 do I get to use this? Do I have the right? 00:15:26.649 --> 00:15:28.807 Can I stand up to someone and actually 00:15:28.807 --> 00:15:31.131 say "Actually I am disabled?" And it 00:15:31.131 --> 00:15:34.960 really upset me inside and it was so 00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:36.830 heart wrenching. Despite at the time I 00:15:36.830 --> 00:15:39.915 had two paralyzed arms. Like, both of my 00:15:39.915 --> 00:15:43.081 arms were paralyzed and I needed to use 00:15:43.081 --> 00:15:44.971 the disabled toilet because it was the 00:15:44.971 --> 00:15:47.731 only way that I could go to the loo. 00:15:47.731 --> 00:15:51.051 Um, but for ages after that I would not 00:15:51.051 --> 00:15:52.884 without someone else around. 00:15:52.884 --> 00:15:54.951 You know, you've mentioned, I've mentioned 00:15:54.951 --> 00:15:57.121 that you're deaf, and I think there's a 00:15:57.121 --> 00:15:59.917 a lot of stereotypes that come with that. 00:15:59.917 --> 00:16:02.179 Just like blindness and people are like 00:16:02.179 --> 00:16:04.695 "Blindness, you can't see anything," a lot 00:16:04.695 --> 00:16:06.733 of people think being deaf you can't hear 00:16:06.733 --> 00:16:09.510 anything. Being deaf you can't speak. 00:16:09.510 --> 00:16:12.123 There's a lot of things like that and so 00:16:12.123 --> 00:16:14.495 And then you've mentioned you know your 00:16:14.495 --> 00:16:16.463 diagnosis or being disabled as a child 00:16:16.463 --> 00:16:18.453 and all of these things, but we haven't 00:16:18.453 --> 00:16:20.387 actually like dove into it. So for those 00:16:20.387 --> 00:16:22.357 of my followers who have never heard your 00:16:22.357 --> 00:16:24.437 story could you kind of give a synopsis of 00:16:24.437 --> 00:16:26.327 like, if you're comfortable, what your 00:16:26.327 --> 00:16:29.227 diagnosis is? I know that uh, things like 00:16:29.227 --> 00:16:31.413 EDS can be very hard to diagnose again, 00:16:31.413 --> 00:16:34.143 an invisible disability so what was your 00:16:34.143 --> 00:16:36.743 diagnosis journey to getting all of- all 00:16:36.743 --> 00:16:38.198 of these diagnoses? 00:16:38.198 --> 00:16:41.844 Well, with the NHPP, uh, the diagnosis 00:16:41.844 --> 00:16:44.754 was sort of straight forward in that it 00:16:44.754 --> 00:16:48.071 I'd always struggled with my hands and 00:16:48.071 --> 00:16:51.112 feet as a child. And just being kind of 00:16:51.112 --> 00:16:52.902 what was called "clumsy" because they 00:16:52.902 --> 00:16:55.314 didn't realize that it was because I 00:16:55.314 --> 00:16:58.224 couldn't feel what I was touching. And 00:16:58.224 --> 00:17:00.210 you don't realize things because you 00:17:00.210 --> 00:17:02.080 assume as a child that everyone else is 00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:04.471 like this. So I can't feel the front of 00:17:04.471 --> 00:17:08.081 my calves because when I was a baby I 00:17:08.081 --> 00:17:10.705 crawled around on them and I've never been 00:17:10.705 --> 00:17:13.196 able to feel my knees. And I just assumed 00:17:13.196 --> 00:17:15.176 no one can feel their knees, right? Like 00:17:15.176 --> 00:17:16.966 you can't feel the skin on your knees 00:17:16.966 --> 00:17:19.715 that's weird, who can do that? Um, but I 00:17:19.715 --> 00:17:21.775 thought this was totally normal til I hit 00:17:21.775 --> 00:17:26.863 17 and I was in an exam and I lent on my 00:17:26.863 --> 00:17:29.596 elbow for about twenty minutes whilst I 00:17:29.596 --> 00:17:32.385 writing. And I got a crick in my neck and 00:17:32.385 --> 00:17:35.623 woke up the next morning having paralyzed 00:17:35.623 --> 00:17:38.360 my arms. Because this crick in my neck had 00:17:38.360 --> 00:17:41.323 been so bad, I'm not helped by the stress 00:17:41.323 --> 00:17:43.297 of this exam and the fact I'd been on 00:17:43.297 --> 00:17:45.484 crutches for like six months before this 00:17:45.484 --> 00:17:49.639 point. Um, and I had paralyzed both of my 00:17:49.639 --> 00:17:52.288 arms and they stayed that way for a year 00:17:52.288 --> 00:17:55.188 and a half, which was very difficult. And 00:17:55.188 --> 00:17:57.138 I got rushed to hospital of course and 00:17:57.138 --> 00:17:58.978 they were trying to find out what was 00:17:58.978 --> 00:18:01.058 wrong with me, it could have been a stroke 00:18:01.058 --> 00:18:02.978 it could have been meningitis. And they 00:18:02.978 --> 00:18:04.898 ran all sorts of tests, did all sorts of 00:18:04.898 --> 00:18:06.779 things and then ran a genetic screening 00:18:06.779 --> 00:18:09.334 and were like "Oh, ah, you're actually 00:18:09.334 --> 00:18:12.667 missing a gene." I was like, oh right 00:18:12.667 --> 00:18:16.507 goodness. So I'm a mutant, which is great. 00:18:16.507 --> 00:18:18.595 Still waiting for my X-men powers. 00:18:18.595 --> 00:18:20.765 Fellow mutant here so I'm with you. 00:18:20.765 --> 00:18:22.768 There we go, see? Have you got your X-men 00:18:22.768 --> 00:18:25.050 powers yet? I'm hoping that mine will kick 00:18:25.050 --> 00:18:26.930 in soon. / Not quite yet. / A bit late 00:18:26.930 --> 00:18:28.810 you know? / Yeah I think they're in the 00:18:28.810 --> 00:18:30.760 mail but you know the mail's been slow lately. 00:18:30.760 --> 00:18:32.971 It has. We'll just keep blaming it on the 00:18:32.971 --> 00:18:36.593 pandemic. It's fine. It's fine. So that 00:18:36.593 --> 00:18:38.373 diagnosis was actually pretty 00:18:38.373 --> 00:18:39.903 straightforward because it was 00:18:39.903 --> 00:18:42.442 very much, "oh we ran your DNA, cool 00:18:42.442 --> 00:18:44.547 you've got this" There we go. 00:18:44.547 --> 00:18:47.670 But the EDS was a much harder 00:18:47.670 --> 00:18:50.116 diagnosis and funny enough, 00:18:50.120 --> 00:18:51.800 actually came from YouTube 00:18:51.800 --> 00:18:53.324 and my subscribers. 00:18:53.903 --> 00:18:56.483 So I was diagnosed with a thing called 00:18:56.483 --> 00:19:00.163 mixed connective tissue disorder. Which 00:19:00.163 --> 00:19:03.023 is also about being hyper-mobile 00:19:03.023 --> 00:19:05.349 and having collagen that is kind of 00:19:05.349 --> 00:19:06.700 too flexible and 00:19:06.700 --> 00:19:10.226 it also affects your internal organs, but 00:19:10.526 --> 00:19:12.650 there were parts of it that 00:19:12.675 --> 00:19:14.755 just didn't- i just didn't fit? 00:19:14.755 --> 00:19:16.815 I didn't like tick like all of the boxes? 00:19:16.815 --> 00:19:19.182 I ticked quite a few of them and 00:19:19.182 --> 00:19:20.903 my doctor was like, "Ah, well. 00:19:20.903 --> 00:19:22.912 I don't know, maybe it's cause you've got 00:19:22.912 --> 00:19:24.519 that other thing as well. 00:19:24.519 --> 00:19:25.948 And you know how doctors don't 00:19:25.948 --> 00:19:27.329 really talk to each other 00:19:27.329 --> 00:19:29.023 if it's not their specialty. 00:19:29.023 --> 00:19:30.612 They're like, "Oh, no, sorry. 00:19:30.612 --> 00:19:32.851 I'm very specifically an eye doctor 00:19:32.851 --> 00:19:36.101 so I don't talk to the brain doctor." 00:19:36.101 --> 00:19:37.885 Like, " Oh, thanks." 00:19:37.885 --> 00:19:39.675 But this is all one thing. 00:19:39.675 --> 00:19:41.441 It's all in- it's all in my head so 00:19:41.441 --> 00:19:43.399 if you could coordinate with each other? 00:19:43.399 --> 00:19:44.929 They're like, "Oh, no, no, no." 00:19:44.929 --> 00:19:46.869 Not my thing/It's also just one body. 00:19:46.869 --> 00:19:49.261 Yeah, yeah. One body. One human. 00:19:49.261 --> 00:19:51.287 All works. It's a system. 00:19:51.287 --> 00:19:52.287 And they're like, 00:19:52.287 --> 00:19:53.827 "No, oh no. Just this one thing" 00:19:53.827 --> 00:19:55.221 So they always just kind of 00:19:55.221 --> 00:19:56.748 chalked it up to that. 00:19:56.748 --> 00:19:58.273 That I had something else and 00:19:58.273 --> 00:20:00.073 therefore that's why I didn't really 00:20:00.073 --> 00:20:01.993 fit this profile and it was a bit weird 00:20:02.008 --> 00:20:04.678 and I talked about it on my YouTube channel 00:20:04.678 --> 00:20:06.058 I've got this and this 00:20:06.058 --> 00:20:08.030 but then in other videos I'd kind of 00:20:08.032 --> 00:20:09.660 talk about what I was struggling with 00:20:09.660 --> 00:20:11.570 and then say it's a bit hard because 00:20:11.570 --> 00:20:13.960 my doctor says: This doesn't fit the profile. 00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:15.870 And people in the comments were like: 00:20:15.870 --> 00:20:17.813 "That's probably because you have EDS Jessica." 00:20:17.813 --> 00:20:18.960 "Have you got checked?" 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:20.220 "I think you've got EDS Jessica." 00:20:20.220 --> 00:20:21.660 "Pretty sure you've got EDS Jessica." 00:20:21.660 --> 00:20:22.720 "This is EDS." 00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:24.760 And I was like, is it? 00:20:24.760 --> 00:20:25.920 My goodness. 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:28.230 So I went to my GP and said 00:20:28.230 --> 00:20:30.360 well I didn't say the internet says 00:20:30.360 --> 00:20:32.541 I have EDS. I was like: 00:20:32.541 --> 00:20:34.892 I just would like to be re-referred 00:20:34.892 --> 00:20:37.612 to rheumatology please. 00:20:37.612 --> 00:20:39.812 So they could maybe check to see 00:20:39.812 --> 00:20:41.482 whether I definitely have this thing 00:20:41.482 --> 00:20:42.732 that I was diagnosed with? 00:20:42.732 --> 00:20:44.883 Or maybe I have another thing. 00:20:44.883 --> 00:20:47.933 Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome? Heard of it? 00:20:47.933 --> 00:20:50.993 And my doctor: "Oh well that's not curable, 00:20:50.993 --> 00:20:52.773 so I'm not gonna refer you" 00:20:52.773 --> 00:20:53.613 What?! 00:20:54.569 --> 00:20:56.969 I was like... I'm sorry? 00:20:57.279 --> 00:20:59.389 Well we just shouldn't know if we have 00:20:59.389 --> 00:21:00.879 uncurable things.Obviously. 00:21:00.879 --> 00:21:02.269 What what what?! 00:21:02.269 --> 00:21:04.509 And he was like "Yeah they're very busy 00:21:04.509 --> 00:21:08.309 So, I'm not gonna refer you for them." 00:21:08.309 --> 00:21:09.989 Ok! Right! 00:21:09.989 --> 00:21:12.619 So I ended up having to go get a 00:21:12.619 --> 00:21:13.769 private diagnosis. 00:21:13.769 --> 00:21:17.073 Which, I live in England. We have the NHS. 00:21:17.073 --> 00:21:19.993 Doing private healthcare is like 00:21:19.993 --> 00:21:22.623 a weirdly out there type of thing. 00:21:22.623 --> 00:21:24.153 We don't do that much. 00:21:24.153 --> 00:21:27.070 So, I went to get a private diagnosis. 00:21:27.070 --> 00:21:29.320 Saw a private rheumatologist who was like: 00:21:29.327 --> 00:21:31.397 "Yeah, you've obviously got EDS." 00:21:31.397 --> 00:21:33.327 I was like, "Oh! 00:21:33.327 --> 00:21:35.717 Ok, well the internet was correct." 00:21:35.717 --> 00:21:38.443 See? Sometimes you can listen to the internet. 00:21:38.443 --> 00:21:42.173 Ok, that's how my Youtube subscribers 00:21:42.173 --> 00:21:44.613 wonderfully diagnosed me. 00:21:44.613 --> 00:21:47.930 What a story. I love that for you. 00:21:47.930 --> 00:21:50.477 Now do your two diagnoses 00:21:50.477 --> 00:21:51.952 often go hand-in-hand 00:21:51.952 --> 00:21:54.834 or are they rarely seen together? 00:21:54.834 --> 00:21:58.834 According to every doctor I have ever met, 00:21:58.834 --> 00:22:02.564 I am the only case of these two things 00:22:02.564 --> 00:22:05.804 interracting. Because, HNPP is quite 00:22:05.804 --> 00:22:08.706 a rare neurological condition. 00:22:08.706 --> 00:22:12.706 And it comes from my father. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And my hyper mobility comes from my mother. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So, I'm just blessed. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 What a combo. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 What a combo. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Well, it's made quite a wonderful woman. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So, I'm glad we have you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm not glad for your pain. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm not glad for what you had to go 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 through to get here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But I am glad our community has you, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because we need more people like you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 With such a powerful voice and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a powerful story. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 As you've said, you've come out of the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 closet twice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 As a disabled woman as well as being gay. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Can you share some of that journey 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of intersectionality. Coming to terms 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 with two different, being apart of two 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 different minority communities. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I think I have a very different story 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and a very different journey then most 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 young LGBTQ+ people. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I think in a way, that my disability 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 really does play into that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So, I don't have a coming out story 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because I never came out to my parents. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was just always kind of like: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This is me. This is who I like. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I really like this gal in the X-Men and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we're going to date and I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 will marry her one day. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And my parents were like: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "She's animated but you do you." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm like: Yeah! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sp, I think partly my parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 are Quakers. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So they never put any expectations 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 on me. That I had to be a certain way. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They never said, you know, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "When you grow up and get a husband." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It was always just: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "When you grow up and if you choose 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to get married." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm like, yeah ok. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it always felt very open and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like I could kinda share that part of me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But, being disabled and having that with me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as I was growing up. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Not knowing that I was disabled but knowing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that there was something about my body 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that was wrong and people weren't listening to. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Weren't believing in. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because, my god, when you're a child 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and you try to tell adults things, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it can be very difficult to explain 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 medical conditions because people dont 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 tend to believe children about these kinds 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of things. When you say 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you have a headache, they're like, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Yeah, but you know. Not really. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Cause you're a kid." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Like, no no. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Genuinely, I'm having a migraine 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right now. I realize 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm a child but I'm having a migraine. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And having that to kinda battle agaisnt 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and deal with made my sexuality 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 almost a...it almost became 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 something that I, of course, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I would just accept it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because I had something that was weighing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 quite heavily on me and my 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sexuality only brought more joy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It was only, I mean I'm not saying it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 brought me joy as in like, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I had lots of girlfriends. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Which I really didn't at all. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But it brought me joy in that, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I would have these beautiful really 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 close relationships that I would 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have this massive crush on an actress 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I get to like, watch her and things. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and feel happy and I was like yeah! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This being gay thing is great! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I love it! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But then the body. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was like ugh, my body is useless. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But at least I'm gay. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I've got that going for me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Yeah, it became more of a saving grace 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 throughout my teenage years. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Struggling against a body that didn't work 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and being told that it should, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 being told that I was incorrect on something. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And then having this thing that I was 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 really sure of and happy with and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 quite passionate about. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So, it's definetly a different coming out 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 then most LGBTQ+ young people 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but I, in a way, hope that it's something 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that we get more of going forwards. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That it's more accepted. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That children are able to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just speak their minds. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That people can support them. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's a really beautiful story. Honestly. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You know a lot of my friends growing up 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 were LGBTQ+ because I was the only 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 disabled kid and they were the only gay kid, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or the only trans kid, and so y'know we 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just were like, "Hey! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You're also different and not like the other 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 kids in class. We should be friends." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And so I really like hearing your story 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because it is very different than what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a lot of my LGBTQ+ friends went through. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There's actually a really big crossover 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 between the disabled community 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and the LGBTQ+ community. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I think, correct statistic, is that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 one third of people who are LGBTQ+ 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 also have a disability. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Which is a really interesting statistic. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But I think a lot of it has to do with 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the fact that you have to come out 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 about one thing, so you come out about 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 something else. Like you're more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 comfortable with the other thing and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you're like, "Look, let me just 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 put this out here. You can all clearly see 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that I am disabled, so while I'm here, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm gay too." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Well yeah! It's like you already have this 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 big thing to accept about yourself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You already have this big target on your 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 back or you know a community runt 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so you're like, ok well, I've got one 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 thing here's the other. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I can see that statistic being true 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 honestly because, as I said, some of my 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 friends are LGBTQ+ and I'm disabled 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so I kinda do have a lot of friends in 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 both worlds and I see a lot of that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 crossover. I see that now, at this point 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in my life, see both communities. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Many people do identify as being 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a part of both. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When you met your wife did she know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sign language. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 No! (laughs) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She didn't. In fact, I first met my wife, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 on our first date, I hadn't told her 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 anything about my disabilities. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I kind of wanted to see whether she 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 liked me because I'd been on so many dates 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and spent so much time explaining 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what's up/ Yup!/ and you never hear from 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 them again and ugh, it's such a waste of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my time!/ Very much agree! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But then you have to balance it with 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 do I want to go on a number of dates 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or do I want to spend a whole month 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 talking to someone and then I tell them 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and they're like, "Oh, I can't redo that?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And then you're like, "Ugh! Well I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just wasted my month of talking to you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 What a waste of time!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So when she first came up 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she actually thought that I was wearing a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 bluetooth device and if it's working? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Cause she saw my hearing aids and was like 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Oh, she's working hard! Continuing on 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 with her bluetooth device." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I think to start with, though I was 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a bit rude that I hadn't removed 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my headphones. I was like: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Umm yeah should probably tell you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that I'm deaf." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And so yeah she didn't know anything. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But she was very blasé on our first date 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I didn't tell her, you know, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "This is me. I have this disability. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This is how it affects me." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She was like, "Ok. Mmm. Do you still like 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to go for walks in the woods?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I do." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Do you still like national trust properties?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I do." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And it was just like the basic things that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she needed to know like, "Are you good 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 around trees?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I love trees. It's wonderful." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Do you love an old property?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Love an old property." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Excellent" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Basics of our marriage, that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Country girls at heart. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That is actually exactly how a first date 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 with a disabled person should go. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Word to anybody who ever goes on a date 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 with a disabled person. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's how you know it's a good match: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If you're able to be blasé and focus on 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the actual parts of them that are human 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 instead of the disability. Key! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You will win a lot of points with us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (giggles) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You mentioned something that like 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 really hit me and maybe we can talk about 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it more on the video that we do on your 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 channel cause this video is already 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 forever long but it like almost got me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like choked up because when you said it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it resonated with me so hard. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that is: You look more capable then 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you sometimes are.