This is an office.
It is where many of you will spend the majority of your waking life.
And these are the things that will
inevitably happen while you're there.
You will begin your time working in an office,
wearing your finest clothing,
only to wind up not giving a sh*t.
Regardless of your best intentions,
you will develop an addiction to caffeine.
No matter what your relationship status,
you will develop some sort of crush on a co-worker.
You will fall into one of two camps:
The people who are always freezing...
or the people who are constantly hot.
You will start with one personal item in your office drawer
and then one day you'll open it up
and realise your entire life is in there.
Someone in your office will creep you out...
And you will bond with someone else over mutually being creeped out.
You will get exceptionally good at hiding Facebook on your computer.
At some point, you will hear one of your co-workers pooping.
That will be a low point.
You'll come face-to-face with the co-worker in the restroom
and realise that they don't wash their hands
and that will change everything.
You'll gain at least five pounds of fat from all the birthday cookies,
cakes and red velvet cupcakes that keep floating around.
And just when you try to cut down on the sweets,
your co-workers will pull you back in.
You will fantasise about doing unspeakably strange things to your co-workers.
At some point, you'll bring a personal friend to visit
and it will be unexpectedly awkward
to introduce them to anyone you work with.
You will get really excited about being good at some small task
and then hate it once everyone else starts asking you to do it for them.
And you will form a group of friends in that office
who will make every day a whole lot better.
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