[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.64,0:00:21.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even before I became a psychiatrist,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.58,0:00:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have always been fascinated\Nby human connection.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.96,0:00:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What makes us connect with others,\Nand what makes us disconnect?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.58,0:00:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of us, at some point,\Nhave been on a plane,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.00,0:00:39.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we have just settled into our novel,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.06,0:00:43.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are listening to music,\Nor getting our work done,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.42,0:00:49.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when suddenly, the air is pierced\Nby the sound of a shrieking baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.77,0:00:51.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.43,0:00:55.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I have watched\Nall kinds of reactions to this
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.29,0:00:58.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the very sympathetic look\Ntoward the parents
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.95,0:01:02.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to people who look\Nmildly annoyed or even frustrated,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.93,0:01:03.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to others
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.97,0:01:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,literally racing each other to the one\Nempty seat at the front of the plane
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.84,0:01:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get away from this noise.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.78,0:01:16.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But on a recent trip to the West Coast,\NI saw the most amazing reaction of all.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.24,0:01:21.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A little three-year-old little boy\Nwiggled out of his seat,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.63,0:01:28.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toddled over to that screaming baby,\Nand offered him his own pacifier.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.24,0:01:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.16,0:01:31.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow!", I thought,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.49,0:01:37.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that little boy really heard and felt\Nthe baby's distress."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.26,0:01:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And isn't that what all of us want?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.42,0:01:43.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To be seen, and heard,\Nand to have our needs responded to?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.99,0:01:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the essence of empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.50,0:01:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, about ten years ago, a student of mine\Ncalled me up with a fascinating idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.26,0:01:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He wanted to find out,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.41,0:01:59.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when there was empathy between people,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.04,0:02:02.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weather their heart rates\Nand other physiological tracers
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.30,0:02:05.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually matched up in concordance.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.85,0:02:11.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he wanted to recruit\Nmany doctor-patient pairs,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.07,0:02:14.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who were willing to have\Ntheir sessions videotaped
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.63,0:02:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to be hocked up to monitoring\Nduring those sessions.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.29,0:02:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It took a bit of arm twisting for me\Nto agree to do this,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.76,0:02:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it turned out to be\Na career-defining decision.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.06,0:02:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of my patients\Nwho agreed to participate
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.82,0:02:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was a young college woman\Nwho had come for help with weight loss.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.51,0:02:39.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She made progress in many areas,\Nbut not this one.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.24,0:02:44.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, we were hooked up\Nto this skin conductance monitoring,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.63,0:02:50.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which, it turns out, actually can show\Nweather two people are in sync,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.28,0:02:52.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as you see on this slide,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.02,0:02:55.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where the physiology\Nactually mirrors one another
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.79,0:02:57.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between the doctor and the patient
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.52,0:03:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or if they are out of sync,\Nor if there is discordance.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.27,0:03:06.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, later that afternoon,\Nmy student called up, and he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.24,0:03:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You have got to come over and see this!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.57,0:03:14.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I went down, I looked at our tracings,\Nand I was blown away.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.79,0:03:20.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This calm, very self-confident\Nappearing woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.10,0:03:22.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very articulate,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.62,0:03:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,turned out to have massive anxiety.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.67,0:03:29.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, our tracings\Nwere actually quite in sync,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.00,0:03:35.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except that hers was going like this,\Nwhile mine was going like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.03,0:03:40.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I had not realized\Nwhat was going on inside of her.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.35,0:03:44.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I showed\Nthe tracing to her, she said,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.43,0:03:46.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I am not surprised by this at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.28,0:03:50.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I live with this every day,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.53,0:03:55.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but no one has ever seen my pain."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.65,0:04:00.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not only as her doctor\Nbut as a fellow human being,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.51,0:04:03.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this moved me to the core.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.60,0:04:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I went back, watched that video -\Nthis time, as an emotion detective -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.50,0:04:15.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and tried to see what was happening,\Nbecause clearly, I had missed something.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.33,0:04:19.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I noticed that the highest peaks\Nof her tracings
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.15,0:04:21.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coincided with\Nthese subtle motor movements
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.85,0:04:25.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such as just flicking her hair,\Nor looking down in a way,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.68,0:04:29.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or subtle changes in her tone of voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.11,0:04:30.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our work continued
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.60,0:04:34.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as I paid attention to these signs\Nand responded to them,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.75,0:04:37.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our work went to a much deeper level.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.17,0:04:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She unburdened herself emotionally
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.38,0:04:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and started to exercise\Nfor the first time in her life.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.86,0:04:45.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.38,0:04:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who had only gained weight\Nand never lost weight before,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.23,0:04:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,went on to lose\Nalmost 50 pounds in the next year.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.76,0:04:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was groundbreaking for her.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.78,0:04:59.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was also groundbreaking for me
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.69,0:05:04.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I realized\Nthat with this careful attention,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.27,0:05:06.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had learned to be more emphatic.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.52,0:05:08.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, back then, everyone thought
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.41,0:05:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that empathy was something\Nthat we were born with or without,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.36,0:05:15.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that we were kind of stuck with\Nwhether we were or we were not.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.17,0:05:19.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine what implications there were
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.88,0:05:24.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if doctors, nurses, teachers, employers,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.11,0:05:27.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,parents, boyfriends, and girlfriends
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.11,0:05:30.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could learn to be\Nmore emphatic with each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.74,0:05:36.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I learned everything I could about\Nthe neuroscience of empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.94,0:05:40.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this was a very growing field\Nat the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.81,0:05:44.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And through what I learned,\NI developed empathy training.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.79,0:05:50.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this training was grounded in\Nthe neurobiology of emotions and empathy,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.93,0:05:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the training went on to be tested\Nin a randomized control trial
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.86,0:05:58.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at Massachusetts General Hospital,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.34,0:06:02.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where doctors that were rated\Nby their patients,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.64,0:06:04.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were rated much more higher
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.71,0:06:06.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if they were trained on,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.77,0:06:10.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My doctor really listened to me,\Nreally showed care and compassion,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.19,0:06:14.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,treated me like a whole person,\Nand understood my concerns" -
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.08,0:06:17.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some of the components\Nof the empathy scales -
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.26,0:06:19.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than the untrained doctors.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.02,0:06:25.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, this seemed like\Na very important message to get out,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.32,0:06:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because some of my training\Nis just about opening your eyes
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.13,0:06:33.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the receptive and perceptive aspects
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.83,0:06:36.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of empathy into the empathic responses.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.16,0:06:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To make it easier, I created\Nthe acronym E.M.P.A.T.H.Y.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.30,0:06:43.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which actually lends itself
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.25,0:06:46.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to remembering the key pieces\Nof how we connect to people.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.92,0:06:49.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, the 'E' stands for eye contact.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.37,0:06:54.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eye contact is usually\Nthe first indication
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.22,0:06:58.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we've been noticed by someone,\Neven though cultural norms can vary.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.65,0:07:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, eye gaze goes back\Nas early as maternal infant bonding.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.38,0:07:10.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turns out that the infant's\Nsharpest focal point is 12 centimeters,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.97,0:07:15.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is the exact distance\Nbetween a baby's eyes and a mother's eyes,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.05,0:07:17.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when the baby is held like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.04,0:07:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eye gaze is also important
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.12,0:07:27.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we say hello or greet one another.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.09,0:07:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In our country, our greeting\Nis usually "Hi" or "Hello."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.40,0:07:34.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the Zulu tribe, the word for 'hello'
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.58,0:07:38.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is "sawubona" which means "I see you."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.28,0:07:45.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every human being has a longing\Nto be seen, understood, and appreciated,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.52,0:07:50.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and eye gaze is\Nthe first step toward this.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.24,0:07:53.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 'M' stands for muscles\Nof facial expression.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.33,0:07:58.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The human face is the one part of us\Nthat we almost never fully cover up.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.95,0:08:02.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our faces are actually a road-map\Nof human emotion,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.92,0:08:04.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and because of this,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.92,0:08:08.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our facial expressions\Ncan not only save our lives
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.53,0:08:11.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but can actually preserve our species.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.40,0:08:14.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine the disgusted look\Non someone's face
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.61,0:08:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's just eating rotten food
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.22,0:08:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and can signal to a whole tribe
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.42,0:08:23.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to stay away and save them\Nfrom getting sick or dying.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.79,0:08:26.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or the look of startle\Nin your friend's face
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.61,0:08:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just before a baseball is about\Nto hit you in the head,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.14,0:08:32.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you might move\Njust in time not to get hit.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.55,0:08:40.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, the flirtatious glance\Nthat's returned may be the first sign
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.20,0:08:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you have just found\Nthe love you are looking for.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.24,0:08:46.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 'P' stands for posture.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.63,0:08:49.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Posture is another powerful\Nconveyor of connection.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.81,0:08:52.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our open or close postures signal
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.52,0:08:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,powerful approach and avoidance\Nsignals to others.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.36,0:08:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In one study,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.12,0:09:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doctors, who were told\Nto sit down on rounds,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.96,0:09:06.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were rated as much warmer,\Nmore carrying, and estimated
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.34,0:09:10.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to have spent three to five times\Nlonger with their patients,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.50,0:09:14.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than doctors how stood up\Nbut used the exact same words.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.78,0:09:18.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 'A' stands for affect.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.20,0:09:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are trained to label\Nour patients' affect
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.68,0:09:27.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a way of orienting ourselves\Nto the emotional experience of the person.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.19,0:09:31.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Affect is the scientific term\Nfor expressed emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.04,0:09:35.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you're with someone,\Ntry just sort of labeling, you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.30,0:09:38.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Is Jacob sad?", "Is Jane excited?",
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.67,0:09:42.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Is Sally upset?",
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.34,0:09:45.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it will change how you hear\Nwhat they are saying.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.12,0:09:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 'T' stands for tone of voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.42,0:09:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have all heard
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.80,0:09:53.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the crack in someone's voice\Nwho is about to cry.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.98,0:09:56.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have also heard the edge\Nin someone's voice,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.73,0:09:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is about to get angry.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.40,0:10:01.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The area in our brainstem
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.91,0:10:05.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is responsible for\Nthe fight-and-flight response
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.54,0:10:07.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the same area
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.17,0:10:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where the nuclei for tone of voice\Nand facial expression reside.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.00,0:10:16.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means that when we are\Nemotionally activated,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.18,0:10:20.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our tone of voice and facial expressions\Nchange without our even trying.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.72,0:10:21.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, this means
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.75,0:10:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that our emotions are constantly\Nkind of leaking out for all to see.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.88,0:10:30.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people's emotions are\Na little more concealed than others,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.90,0:10:37.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but with careful looking, we can hear\Nand see what these emotions are.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.51,0:10:42.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 'H' stands for hearing\Nthe whole person
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.80,0:10:45.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,far more than the words that people say.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.50,0:10:47.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hearing the whole person means
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.20,0:10:50.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,understanding the context\Nin which other people live.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.91,0:10:54.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It also means keeping your curiosity open
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.82,0:10:59.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not judging till you really understand\Nwhere that person is coming from.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.35,0:11:03.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 'Y' stands for your response.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.00,0:11:09.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We respond to other people's\Nfeelings all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.38,0:11:12.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We might think that we only experience\Nour own emotions,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.36,0:11:16.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we are constantly absorbing\Nthe feelings of others.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.67,0:11:22.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turns out that a helpful guide is\Nthat most feelings are actually mutual.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.89,0:11:27.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about how you feel\Nwhen you're at the airport,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.84,0:11:34.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you see a mother embracing her son,\Nwho has just returned from active duty.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.36,0:11:39.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about how you feel\Nwhen you see the face of a father,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.25,0:11:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who has just lost his daughter\Nto dating violence.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.86,0:11:47.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about how you feel\Nwhen you see the looks on people's faces
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.74,0:11:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who have lost their homes\Nto hurricanes and tsunamis.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.33,0:11:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the look on parents faces
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.73,0:11:57.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who have just lost their children\Nto school shootings.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.32,0:12:03.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our inner experience and feelings\Nmirror those of others.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.80,0:12:09.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our human brain is actually\Nhardwired for empathy
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.62,0:12:12.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because our survival depends on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.26,0:12:16.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We reflect the feelings of others
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.50,0:12:20.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's what is required\Nfor our survival.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.81,0:12:25.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all are here more\Nbecause of mutual aid and cooperation
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.52,0:12:28.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than because of survival of the fittest.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.44,0:12:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we were only wired\Nfor survival of the fittest,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.28,0:12:36.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we'd be wired to dominate others\Nand to only look out for ourselves,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.07,0:12:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's not how we're made.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.02,0:12:41.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As the Dalai Lama said,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.24,0:12:47.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Love and compassion\Nare necessities not luxuries.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.02,0:12:51.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Without them, humanity will not survive."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.70,0:12:54.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, how does this all work?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.47,0:12:58.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've all heard the expression\N"I feel your pain."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.87,0:13:02.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, for a moment,\Nimagine you are in a parking lot,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.15,0:13:06.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you've just seen someone's hand\Nget slammed in a car door.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.94,0:13:08.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I've seen people flinched,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.83,0:13:11.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though nothing's\Nactually touched them.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.34,0:13:16.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And most people will actually feel like\Nsomething physical just by imagining it.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.57,0:13:20.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Neuroscientists have done\Nsome amazing studies
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.95,0:13:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to map the substrate of empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.98,0:13:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In one study,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.97,0:13:33.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,16 couples were recruited,\Nand the women were put in head scanners
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.59,0:13:37.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while they received\Npainful electric shocks to their hands.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.33,0:13:41.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As you can see here,\Nthe area in green represents
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.91,0:13:47.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the entire pain matrix lit up\Nwhen they received the shocks.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.38,0:13:49.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Later, they were told
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.91,0:13:55.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that their partners had just received\Nthe same similar shocks to their hands
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.94,0:14:01.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you see the area in red\Nrepresents almost the entire pain matrix;
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.50,0:14:05.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just knowing that someone else is in pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.37,0:14:10.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our brains are working\Nwith shared neural circuits,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.78,0:14:14.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shared neurons, and some mirror neurons
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.50,0:14:18.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that we actually have\Nan internal experience
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.55,0:14:21.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of what happens to others.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.52,0:14:25.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, when we hear the expression\N"I feel your pain,"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.03,0:14:27.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is not just a figure of speech;
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.55,0:14:31.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're made for this, and it happens\Nnot just with our loved ones.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.38,0:14:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are at a critical precipice\Nwith technology.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.10,0:14:44.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Outsiders coming in and observing\Nour society might guess
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.19,0:14:49.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we have more intimate relationships\Nwith our smartphones
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.11,0:14:51.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than we do with our significant others.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.16,0:14:57.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cyberbullying is probably on the rise\Nbecause it is much easier
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.54,0:15:01.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to inflict harm on people\Nwhose pain you never see.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.16,0:15:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is much harder to have\Na meaningful conversation,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.41,0:15:12.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if what you're used to\Nis 140-character tweets.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.70,0:15:16.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And how do you know whether to say,\N"Do you need for me to come over?"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.83,0:15:23.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if what you have just gotten is a text\Nthat says, "Lousy day" with an emoticon?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.31,0:15:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As Jonathan Safran Foer said,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.44,0:15:32.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"When we accept diminished substitutes,\Nwe become diminished substitutes."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.80,0:15:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, the good news about empathy
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.53,0:15:42.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that when it declines,\Nit can also be learned.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.09,0:15:46.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Employers who want to have\Nan engaged and productive work force
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.93,0:15:50.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,need to get tuned in to the people.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.09,0:15:52.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Patients who don't feel cared about
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.60,0:15:58.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have longer recovery rates\Nand poorer immune function.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.22,0:16:02.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Students who are disengaged\Nare more likely to drop out,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.70,0:16:06.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and marriages without empathy\Nare more likely to fail.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.64,0:16:11.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, empathy matters\Nin every corner of your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.50,0:16:18.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As the Zulu say\Nnot 'Hello', but 'I see you, '
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.72,0:16:25.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we all need to see each other\Nto bring out the full potential in others.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.41,0:16:32.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most people need to have their specialness\Nreflected back in the eyes of others
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.92,0:16:35.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to see it themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.69,0:16:39.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone in this audience\Nhas the power to do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.75,0:16:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when we empower others,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.76,0:16:46.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can collectively come together\Nto bring our best selves,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.89,0:16:53.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to solve the world's biggest, smallest,\Nand most vexing problems.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.75,0:16:56.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the power of empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.01,0:16:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)