WEBVTT

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Nobody knows what white people eat.

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You've been very good at keeping that shit a secret amongst yourselves.

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[Laughter, applause]

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I study white people. You don't know that, I'm writing a paper on you!

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[Laughter]

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Not even for school, nigga, just to do it! Just to get, just doin'

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an independent research. I'm spendin' my money. That's why I'm working so hard.

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[Laughter]

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I follow you around grocery stores. They freak out!

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I just try to peek in the cart, they always say - 'Get away from my

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cart, nigga, what are you looking at?'

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[Laughter]

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'Chicken and giblets are over there!'

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'You must be lost! These are vegetables!'

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[Laughter]

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I know what you drink. See how quiet it got?

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[Laughter]

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Grape juice. Surprise, motherfuckers! You didn't know I knew about grape juice, did you?

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Ohh! Don't play dumb with me! Look at 'em, huh? What is it?

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A lot of black people don't have the privilege of knowing about grape juice

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because they have grape drink. It's not the same formula that you get.

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[Laughter, applause]

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Ain't no vitamins in that shit!

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You might have one of your black friends over -

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'Todd? Todd? Would you care for a glass of grape juice?'

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'What?'

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'Nigga what the fuck is juice?'

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'I want some grape drink, baby!'

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[Laughter]

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'Mmm, it's purple.'

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[Laughter]

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'I don't think I know what a grape drink is.'

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'WHAT?'

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'I have some apple juice if you want.'

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'What the fuck is juice?'

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[Laughter]

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'I want some apple drink!'

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[Laughter]

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'It's greeeeen!'

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[Laughter]

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Remember that commercial for Sunny Delight when all the kids run in from playin'?

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And they all run to the fridge - 'All right, I got some purple stuff, some Sunny D.

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As soon as he said Sunny D all the kids go -

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'YEAH!'

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[Laughter]

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Watch the black kid in the back. If you ever see that commercial again -

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look at that black kid - he be like, 'I want that purple stuff!'

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[Laughter]

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That's drink, nigga! That is drink!

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[Laughter, applause]

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They want - they want drink.

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Don't want all them vitamins, nigga! I want drink! Sugar, water, purple.

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[Laughter]

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That's the ingredients - sugar, water,

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and of course, purple!

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[Laughter]

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It's too fuckin' much. I got a lot of things to talk about tonight.