Nobody knows what white people eat.
You've been very good at keeping that shit a secret amongst yourselves.
[Laughter, applause]
I study white people. You don't know that, I'm writing a paper on you!
[Laughter]
Not even for school, nigga, just to do it! Just to get, just doin'
an independent research. I'm spendin' my money. That's why I'm working so hard.
[Laughter]
I follow you around grocery stores. They freak out!
I just try to peek in the cart, they always say - 'Get away from my
cart, nigga, what are you looking at?'
[Laughter]
'Chicken and giblets are over there!'
'You must be lost! These are vegetables!'
[Laughter]
I know what you drink. See how quiet it got?
[Laughter]
Grape juice. Surprise, motherfuckers! You didn't know I knew about grape juice, did you?
Ohh! Don't play dumb with me! Look at 'em, huh? What is it?
A lot of black people don't have the privilege of knowing about grape juice
because they have grape drink. It's not the same formula that you get.
[Laughter, applause]
Ain't no vitamins in that shit!
You might have one of your black friends over -
'Todd? Todd? Would you care for a glass of grape juice?'
'What?'
'Nigga what the fuck is juice?'
'I want some grape drink, baby!'
[Laughter]
'Mmm, it's purple.'
[Laughter]
'I don't think I know what a grape drink is.'
'WHAT?'
'I have some apple juice if you want.'
'What the fuck is juice?'
[Laughter]
'I want some apple drink!'
[Laughter]
'It's greeeeen!'
[Laughter]
Remember that commercial for Sunny Delight when all the kids run in from playin'?
And they all run to the fridge - 'All right, I got some purple stuff, some Sunny D.
As soon as he said Sunny D all the kids go -
'YEAH!'
[Laughter]
Watch the black kid in the back. If you ever see that commercial again -
look at that black kid - he be like, 'I want that purple stuff!'
[Laughter]
That's drink, nigga! That is drink!
[Laughter, applause]
They want - they want drink.
Don't want all them vitamins, nigga! I want drink! Sugar, water, purple.
[Laughter]
That's the ingredients - sugar, water,
and of course, purple!
[Laughter]
It's too fuckin' much. I got a lot of things to talk about tonight.