0:00:01.002,0:00:03.656
- Now, I just want to talk[br]quickly about language.

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And then we can all...

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Cause yeah, language, they[br]do say Britain and America

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are two countries separated[br]by the Atlantic Ocean.

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And it's true.

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(laughter)

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No, they say two languages separated by,

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two countries separated[br]by a common language.

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That's the line.

0:00:22.735,0:00:24.831
That's an Oscar Wilde line, I think.

0:00:24.831,0:00:27.318
And we do pronounce[br]things in a different way.

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Like, you say caterpillar,

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and we say caterpillar.

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(laughter)

0:00:32.734,0:00:34.109
No, you say aluminum.

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We say aluminium.

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You say cen-TRI-fugal.

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We say centri-FYOO-gal.

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You say leisure.

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We say lie-ZOOR-ay-ay.

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(laughter)

0:00:46.422,0:00:48.293
You say basil.

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We say BAH-sil.

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You say herbs, and we say HER-bs.

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Because there's a fucking h in it.

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(applause)

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But you spell through t-h-r-u,[br]and I'm with you on that.

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Cause we spell it thruf.

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And that's trying to cheat at Scrabble.

0:01:09.522,0:01:10.890
How can we get that oo sound?

0:01:10.890,0:01:12.394
Well, a u will work.

0:01:12.394,0:01:13.706
What about an o, as well?

0:01:13.706,0:01:15.172
No, we don't need it, we're fine.

0:01:15.172,0:01:16.024
No, I think an o.

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Well, all right.

0:01:16.865,0:01:17.858
And a g, as well.

0:01:17.858,0:01:18.691
What?

0:01:18.691,0:01:20.616
Yes, a g would be good.

0:01:20.616,0:01:21.449
A geh sound?

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Yes, we need a silent geh,[br]just in the background.

0:01:24.265,0:01:27.704
In case of any accidents or something.

0:01:27.704,0:01:28.897
Well, all right.

0:01:28.897,0:01:30.136
And an h, as well!

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Fuckin' hell, hang on!

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An h, in case some herbs come along.

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(laughter)

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All right.

0:01:36.380,0:01:38.750
And a q, and a p, and a zed.

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Look, it's a word in[br]Scrabble that's 480 points.

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So, yes.

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And we do have slight[br]differences in that arena.

0:01:50.911,0:01:52.751
But in Europe we have 200 languages.

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200 languages. Just count them.

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I know you won't.

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But there're 200 languages.

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And future generations of[br]Europeans, I'm sorry Europeans,

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but we're gonna have to be bilingual.

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We are gonna have to be.

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And English speakers hate this.

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Two languages in one head?

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No one can live at that speed.

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Good lord, man.

0:02:10.466,0:02:12.762
You're asking the impossible.

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But the Dutch speak four[br]languages and smoke marijuana.

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(applause)

0:02:23.772,0:02:25.939
Yes, but they're cheating.

0:02:26.847,0:02:29.159
Everyone knows marijuana's[br]a drug enhancement

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that can help you on track[br]and field to come last

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in a team of eight million.

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Eight million other[br]runners who are all dead.

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(laughter)

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I don't know how the Dutch do it.

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But anyway, cause we're[br]gonna have to learn.

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And the reason we're gonna[br]have to learn is, one,

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for being groovy, and just[br]getting out there and doing it.

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But the second, we just lose[br]a lot of business in Europe.

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In the rest of Europe, cause[br]German people phone up going

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(speaks German)

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Just fuck off, will you, mate?

0:03:03.931,0:03:05.234
I thought he's speakin' German.

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I told him to go away.

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(speaks fake German)

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I don't know, something about[br]funf millionen Deutschmark.

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And I told him to get knotted.

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We don't want any of his deutschy markies.

0:03:18.142,0:03:19.345
We do? We do want that?

0:03:19.345,0:03:21.404
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

0:03:21.404,0:03:22.821
Oh, fuck, redial.