[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Voi incepe cu urmatoarele: Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.00,0:00:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cu cativa ani in urma m-a sunat un organizator de evenimente Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.00,0:00:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deoarece urma sa sustin un discurs. Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.00,0:00:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A sunat si a spus Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.00,0:00:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ma chinui cu ce Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.00,0:00:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa scriu despre tine pe fluturasul publicitar." Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.00,0:00:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ma gandeam: "Cu ce te chinui?" Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.00,0:00:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si a raspuns: "Te-am vazut vorbind Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.00,0:00:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si cred ca te voi numi cercetator, Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.00,0:00:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar imi e teama ca daca o fac, nimeni nu va veni Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.00,0:00:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca vor crede ca esti plictisitoare si irelevanta." Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.00,0:00:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.00,0:00:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bine. Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.00,0:00:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Dar ceea ce mi-a placut la discursul tau Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.00,0:00:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este ca esti o povestitoare. Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.00,0:00:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca asta voi face, te voi numi povestitoare." Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.00,0:00:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si evident ca partea academica, nesigura din mine Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.00,0:00:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a reactionat: "Cum ma vei numi?" Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.00,0:00:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Te voi numi povestitoare" Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.00,0:00:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iar eu: "De ce nu spiridusul magic?" Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.00,0:00:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.00,0:00:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Lasa-ma sa ma gandesc o secunda" Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.00,0:00:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am incercat sa fac apel la curajul ascuns in mine Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.00,0:00:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si m-am gandit: sunt o povestitoare, Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.00,0:00:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sunt un cercetator calitativ. Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.00,0:01:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Adun povesti, asta fac. Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.00,0:01:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si poate ca povestile sunt de fapt informatii cu suflet Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.00,0:01:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si poate sunt de fapt doar o povestitoare. Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.00,0:01:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca i-am spus: "Stii ceva? Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.00,0:01:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,De ce nu spui ca sunt un cercetator-povestitor" Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.00,0:01:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A inceput sa rada "Haha, nu exista asa ceva" Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.00,0:01:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.00,0:01:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca sunt un cercetator-povestitor Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.00,0:01:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si astazi va voi vorbi - Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.00,0:01:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca discutam despre extinderea perceptiei - Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.00,0:01:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asa ca vreau sa va spun niste povesti Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.00,0:01:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despre o parte a cercetarii mele Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.00,0:01:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care mi-a transformat esential constiinta Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.00,0:01:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si pur si simplu a schimbat modul in care traiesc, iubesc, Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.00,0:01:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,muncesc si sunt parinte. Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.00,0:01:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aici incepe povestea mea. Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.00,0:01:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pe vremea cand eram o tanara cercetatoare, student doctorand, Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.00,0:01:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in primul an am avut un profesor de cercetare Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.00,0:01:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care ne-a spus: Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.00,0:01:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Uite cum stau lucrurile: Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.00,0:01:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,daca nu poate fi masurat, nu exista." Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.00,0:01:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si m-am gandit ca vrea sa ma amageasca. Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.00,0:01:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Serios?" am intrebat si el a raspuns: "Absolut". Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.00,0:01:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trebuie sa intelegeti Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.00,0:01:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ca am o diploma in sociologie, un master in sociologie Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.00,0:02:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si imi luam doctoratul in sociologie, Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.00,0:02:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asa ca intreaga mea cariera academica Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.00,0:02:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,era inconjurata de oameni Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.00,0:02:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care credeau Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.00,0:02:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ca viata e complicata deci iubeste-o. Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.00,0:02:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iar eu sunt mai mult genul: viata e complicata, Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.00,0:02:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fa curat, organizeaz-o Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.00,0:02:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si pune-o intr-o cutie. Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.00,0:02:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.00,0:02:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca sa ma gandesc ca mi-am gasit drumul, Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.00,0:02:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,o cariera care ma poarta - Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.00,0:02:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pe bune, una dintre marile zicale ale sociologiei Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.00,0:02:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este sa te bazezi pe discomfortul muncii. Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.00,0:02:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iar eu sunt in filmul: pocneste discomfortul in moalele capului Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.00,0:02:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da-l la o parte si ia doar note maxime. Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.00,0:02:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aceasta era mantra mea. Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.00,0:02:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca eram foarte incantata Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.00,0:02:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ma gandeam: stii ceva, asta e cariera potrivita pentru mine, Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.00,0:02:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca sunt interesata in cateva subiecte incurcate, Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.00,0:02:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar vreau sa fiu in stare sa le simplific. Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.00,0:02:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vreau sa le inteleg. Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.00,0:02:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vreau sa disec aceste lucruri Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.00,0:02:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despre care stiu ca sunt importante Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.00,0:02:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si sa le pun tuturor la dispozitie reteta. Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.00,0:03:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca am inceput cu relatiile, Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.00,0:03:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deoarece, dupa ce esti asistent social timp de 10 ani, Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.00,0:03:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,realizezi ca Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.00,0:03:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relatiile sunt motivul pentru care te afli acolo. Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.00,0:03:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ele dau un scop si un sens vietilor noastre. Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.00,0:03:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Despre asta e vorba. Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.00,0:03:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu conteaza daca vorbesti cu oameni Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.00,0:03:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care lucreaza in domeniul echitatii sociale, al sanatatii mentale, trateaza abuzul sau neglijarea, Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.00,0:03:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ceea ce stim este ca relatiile, Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.00,0:03:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,capacitatea de a relationa este - Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.00,0:03:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,legatura e la nivel neurobiologic - Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.00,0:03:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este motivul pentru care ne aflam aici. Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.00,0:03:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca m-am gandit: stii ce, o sa incep cu relatiile. Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.00,0:03:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stiti cu totii cum e Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.00,0:03:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cand sunteti evaluati de sef Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.00,0:03:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si iti spune 37 de lucruri pe care le faci absolut minunat Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.00,0:03:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si unul singur - o singura oportunitate de imbunatatire. Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.00,0:03:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.00,0:03:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si nu te mai poti gandi decat la acea oportunitate de imbunatatire, evident. Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.00,0:03:50.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ei bine se pare ca de asta munca mea a mers asa de bine, Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.00,0:03:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca, atunci cand intrebi oamenii despre dragoste, Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.00,0:03:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iti povestesc despre suferinta. Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.00,0:03:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cand ii intrebi despre apartenenta, Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.00,0:04:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iti povestesc cele mai dureroase experiente Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.00,0:04:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despre cum e sa fii exclus. Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.00,0:04:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iar cand ii intrebi pe oameni despre relatii Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.00,0:04:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,povestile pe care mi le-au spus erau despre ruperea lor. Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.00,0:04:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca foarte repede, cam dupa 6 saptamani de cercetare, Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.00,0:04:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,m-am ciocnit de aceasta situatie unica Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.00,0:04:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care clarifica relatiile Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.00,0:04:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intr-un fel pe care nu il intelegeam si pe care nu l-am mai intalnit. Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.00,0:04:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca m-am retras din cercetare Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.00,0:04:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,realizand ca am nevoie sa inteleg ce reprezinta. Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.00,0:04:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,S-a dovedit a fi rusinea. Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.00,0:04:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rusinea este usor de inteles Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.00,0:04:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ca si teama de abandon. Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.00,0:04:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Este ceva ce tine de mine Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.00,0:04:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pe care daca ceilalti l-ar vedea sau stii, Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.00,0:04:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,atunci nu voi mai fi demna de relationare. Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.00,0:04:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ce va pot eu spune: Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.00,0:04:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este universal valabil, toti simtit la fel. Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.00,0:04:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Singurii oameni care nu experimenteaza rusinea Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.00,0:04:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nu au capacitate de empatie sau de a stabili legaturi. Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.00,0:04:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nimeni nu vrea sa vorbeasca despre ea Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.00,0:04:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si totusi cu cat vorbesti mai putin, cu atat este mai prezenta. Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.00,0:04:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ce sta la baza acestei rusini, Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.00,0:04:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a ideii "Nu sunt suficient de bun" Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.00,0:05:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si cunoastem cu totii sentimentul: Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.00,0:05:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Nu sunt suficient de alb. Nu sunt suficient de slab, Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.00,0:05:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,suficient de bogat, de frumos, de destept, Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.00,0:05:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,suficient promovat." Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.00,0:05:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ce sta la baza Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.00,0:05:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este o vulnerabilitate chinuitoare, Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.00,0:05:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ideea ca Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.00,0:05:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca relatia sa se intample, Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.00,0:05:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trebuie sa permitem sa fim vazuti, Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.00,0:05:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa fim vazuti cu adevarat. Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.00,0:05:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stiti care e parerea mea despre vulnerabilitate. O urasc. Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.00,0:05:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca m-am gandit ca asta e sansa mea Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.00,0:05:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa o resping cu instrumentul meu de masura. Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.00,0:05:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,O sa aprofundez subiectul, sa imi dau seama cum functioneaza, Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.00,0:05:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,o sa petrec un an si o sa sparg rusinea in bucati, Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.00,0:05:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,o sa inteleg cum functioneaza vulnerabilitatea Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.00,0:05:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si o sa i-o iau inainte. Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.00,0:05:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca eram pregatita si foarte entuziasmata. Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.00,0:05:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dupa cum stiti nu totul se va termina cu bine. Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.00,0:05:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.00,0:05:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asta stiti. Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.00,0:05:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As putea sa va spun o gramada despre rusine, Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.00,0:05:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar ar trebui sa ocup timpul alocat tuturor vorbitorilor. Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.00,0:05:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar pot sa va spun la ce se reduce - Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.00,0:06:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si s-ar putea sa fie unul dintre cele mai importante lucruri pe care le-am invatat Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.00,0:06:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intr-un deceniu de cercetare. Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.00,0:06:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anul alocat Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.00,0:06:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,s-a transformat in sase ani, Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.00,0:06:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mii de povesti, Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.00,0:06:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sute de interviuri lungi si focus grupuri. Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.00,0:06:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,La un moment dat oamenii imi trimiteau pagini din jurnale, Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.00,0:06:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,imi trimiteau povestile lor, Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.00,0:06:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mii de bucati de informatie in sase ani. Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.00,0:06:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am reusit sa ii dau de cap. Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.00,0:06:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am inteles ce este rusinea Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.00,0:06:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si cum functioneaza. Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.00,0:06:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am scris o carte, Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.00,0:06:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,am publicat o teorie, Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.00,0:06:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar ceva nu era in regula - Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.00,0:06:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si anume ca Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.00,0:06:38.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,daca as lua la gramada oamenii intervievati Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.00,0:06:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si i-as imparti in cei Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.00,0:06:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care au cu adevarat sentimentul propriei valori - Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.00,0:06:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca la asta se reduce, Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.00,0:06:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sentimentul propriei valori - Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.00,0:06:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,acestia simt puternic iubirea si apartententa - Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.00,0:06:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si oamenii care se lupta sa il obtina. Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.00,0:06:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oameni care se intreaba mereu daca sunt suficient de buni, Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.00,0:06:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exista o singura variabila Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.00,0:06:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care ii separa pe cei care Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.00,0:07:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,simt puternic iubirea si apartenenta Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.00,0:07:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de cei care trebuie sa se lupte pentru ele. Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.00,0:07:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Diferenta este ca oamenii care simt Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.00,0:07:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,puternic iubirea si apartenenta Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.00,0:07:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cred ca sunt demni sa le primeasca. Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.00,0:07:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asta e tot. Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.00,0:07:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cred ca sunt demni de asa ceva. Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.00,0:07:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pentru mine partea grea Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.00,0:07:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a ceea ce ne impiedica sa fim conectati Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.00,0:07:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este teama ca nu suntem demni sa avem relatii Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.00,0:07:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,era ceva ce, atat personal cat si profesional. Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.00,0:07:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,am simtit ca trebuie sa inteleg mai bine. Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.00,0:07:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca ce am facut Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.00,0:07:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a fost sa iau acele interviuri Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.00,0:07:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unde am vazut auto-apreciere, unde oamenii traiau sentimentul, Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.00,0:07:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si doar pe ele le-am analizat. Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.00,0:07:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ce au acesti oameni in comun? Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.00,0:07:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eu am o usoara dependenta de birotica, Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.00,0:07:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar asta e o alta discutie. Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.00,0:07:50.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca aveam un dosar si un pix Sharpie Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.00,0:07:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si ma gandeam cum sa denumesc cercetarea asta? Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.00,0:07:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si primul cuvant care mi-a venit in minte Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.00,0:07:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a fost implinit. Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.00,0:07:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Acestia sunt oameni completi, ce se hranesc cu acest sentiment profund al propriei valori. Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.00,0:08:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca l-am scris la inceputul dosarului Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.00,0:08:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si am inceput sa analizez datele. Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.00,0:08:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Intr-o prima faza am facut totul Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.00,0:08:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in 4 zile Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.00,0:08:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de analiza intensiva a datelor, Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.00,0:08:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,timp in care am extras interviurile, am extras povestile si faptele. Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.00,0:08:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Care este tema? Care este tiparul? Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.00,0:08:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sotul meu a plecat din oras cu copii Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.00,0:08:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca mereu intru intr-o stare de frenezie gen Jackson Pollock, Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.00,0:08:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in care scriu in continuu Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.00,0:08:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si in modul de cercetator. Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.00,0:08:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si iata ce am aflat: Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.00,0:08:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ce au in comun Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.00,0:08:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este curajul. Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.00,0:08:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vreau sa fac un pic diferenta dintre curaj si vitejie. Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.00,0:08:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Curajul, in definitia sa originiala, Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.00,0:08:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,atunci cand a patruns in limba engleza, Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.00,0:08:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,provine din cuvantul latin cor, ce inseamna inima, Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.00,0:08:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iar in definitia initiala Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.00,0:08:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,definea oamenii care actioneaza din toata inima. Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.00,0:08:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca acesti oameni Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.00,0:08:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aveau, pur si simplu, curajul Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.00,0:08:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de a fi imperfecti. Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.00,0:09:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aveau capacitatea Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.00,0:09:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de a fi intelegatori in primul rand cu ei si apoi cu ceilalti Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.00,0:09:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deoarece, asa cum s-a dovedit, nu putem simti compasiune pentru alti oameni, Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.00,0:09:09.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,daca nu putem sa ne tratam pe noi cu blandete. Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.00,0:09:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si in ultimul relatiile lor Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.00,0:09:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si aici e partea dificiala, Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.00,0:09:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,erau rezultatul autenticitatii. Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.00,0:09:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Erau dispusi sa renunte la cine credeau ca ar trebui sa fie Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.00,0:09:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru a fi cine erau cu adevarat, Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.00,0:09:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lucru obligatoriu Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.00,0:09:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru a relationa. Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.00,0:09:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Un alt lucru pe care il aveau in comun Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.00,0:09:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este urmatorul: Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.00,0:09:38.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Acceptau complet vulnerabilitatea. Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.00,0:09:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Credeau ca Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.00,0:09:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ceea ce ii face vulnerabili Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.00,0:09:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ii face frumosi. Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.00,0:09:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu vorbeau despre vulnerabilitate Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.00,0:09:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ca fiind comoda, Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.00,0:09:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar nici nu se refereau la ea ca fiind chinuitoare, Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.00,0:09:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asa cum am auzit inainte in interviurile despre rusine. Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.00,0:10:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vorbeau despre vulnerabilitate ca fiind necesara, Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.00,0:10:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despre disponibilitatea Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.00,0:10:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de a spune "te iubesc" primul, Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.00,0:10:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despre disponibilitatea Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.00,0:10:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de a face ceva Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.00,0:10:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,atunci cand nu exista garantii, Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.00,0:10:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despre capacitatea Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.00,0:10:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de a respira in timp ce astepti telefonul doctorului Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.00,0:10:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dupa ce ti-ai facut mamografia. Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.00,0:10:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sunt dispusi sa investeasca intr-o relatie Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.00,0:10:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care putea sa mearga sau nu. Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.00,0:10:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Credeau ca este esential sa o faca. Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.00,0:10:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eu personal am considerat-o tradare. Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.00,0:10:38.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu puteam sa cred ca am jurat credinta Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.00,0:10:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cercetarii - Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.00,0:10:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iar definitia cercetarii Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.00,0:10:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este sa controleze si sa prezica, sa studieze fenomene, Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.00,0:10:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in cautarea motivelor explicite, Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.00,0:10:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa controleze si sa prezica, Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.00,0:10:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iar acum misiunea mea Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.00,0:10:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,de a controla si prezice, Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.00,0:10:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a ajuns la concluzia ca viata se traieste cu vulnerabilitate, Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.00,0:10:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,incetand sa controlam si sa prezicem. Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.00,0:11:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asta a dus la o zdruncinare - Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.00,0:11:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.00,0:11:09.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care de fapt arata mai mult asa. Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.00,0:11:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.00,0:11:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si chiar asa a fost. Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.00,0:11:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eu o numesc zdruncinare, terapeutul meu revelatie spirituala. Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.00,0:11:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Revelatie spirituala suna mai bine decat criza, Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.00,0:11:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar va asigur ca asta a fost. Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.00,0:11:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A trebuit sa pun toate informatiile deoparte si sa imi caut un terapeut. Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.00,0:11:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sa va spun ceva: stii cine esti Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.00,0:11:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,atunci cand iti suni prietenii sa le spui: "Cred ca am nevoie sa vorbesc cu cineva. Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.00,0:11:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aveti vreo recomandare?" Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.00,0:11:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vreo 5 prieteni mi-au zis: Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.00,0:11:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ohooo. Nu as vrea sa fiu terapeutul tau." Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.00,0:11:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.00,0:11:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ce vrei sa zici?" Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.00,0:11:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iar ei: "Zic si eu, stii tu Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.00,0:11:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa nu iei rigla cu tine" Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.00,0:11:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am spus: "Ok" Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.00,0:11:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si am gasit un terapeut. Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.00,0:11:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,La prima intalnire cu ea, cu Diana, Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.00,0:11:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,am adus lista Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.00,0:12:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cu felul in care oamenii impliniti traiesc si m-am asezat. Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.00,0:12:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,M-a intrebat: "Cum esti?" Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.00,0:12:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I-am raspuns: "Sunt minunat. Sunt bine." Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.00,0:12:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ce se intampla?" Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.00,0:12:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iata un terapeut care merge la terapeut, Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.00,0:12:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca trebuie sa o facem, Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.00,0:12:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fiindca diplomele lor sunt bune. Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.00,0:12:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.00,0:12:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I-am spus Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.00,0:12:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Uite ce e: ma chinui" Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.00,0:12:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"In legatura cu ce?" Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.00,0:12:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ei bine, am probleme cu vulnerabilitatea. Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.00,0:12:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si stiu ca vulnerabilitatea este la baza Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.00,0:12:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rusinii si fricii Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.00,0:12:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si a luptei noastre pentru merit, Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.00,0:12:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar se pare ca este cea care da nastere Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.00,0:12:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bucuriei, creativitatii, Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.00,0:12:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,apartenentei, iubirii Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.00,0:12:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si cred ca am o problema Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.00,0:12:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si am nevoie de ajutor." Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.00,0:12:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si am continuat: "Dar uite cum stau lucrurile: Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.00,0:12:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fara discutii despre familie Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.00,0:12:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si prostii despre copilarie." Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.00,0:12:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.00,0:12:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Am nevoie doar de cateva strategii." Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.00,0:13:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.00,0:13:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Aplauze) Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.00,0:13:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Multumesc. Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.00,0:13:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Reactia ei. Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.00,0:13:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.00,0:13:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"E rau, nu-i asa?" Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.00,0:13:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Nu e nici bine, nici rau." Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.00,0:13:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.00,0:13:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Este pur si simplu ceea ce este" Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.00,0:13:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"O Doamne, o sa fie nasol" Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.00,0:13:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.00,0:13:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si a fost si n-a fost. Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.00,0:13:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A durat aproape un an. Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.00,0:13:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stiti ca sunt oameni Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.00,0:13:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care in momentul in care realizeaza ca vulnerabilitatea si tandretea sunt importante, Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.00,0:13:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,abandoneaza restul si le imbratiseaza. Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.00,0:13:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Punctul A: eu nu sunt genul Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.00,0:13:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si punctul B: nici macar nu cunosc astfel de oameni. Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.00,0:13:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.00,0:13:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pentru mine a fost un an de lupte de strada. Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.00,0:13:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lupta corp la corp. Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.00,0:13:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vulnerabilitatea ataca, atacam si eu. Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.00,0:14:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am pierdut lupta, Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.00,0:14:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar probabil mi-am recastigat viata. Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.00,0:14:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,M-am intors la cercetare Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.00,0:14:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si am petrecut urmatorii cativa ani Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.00,0:14:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,incercand cu adevarat sa inteleg ce fac oamenii impliniti, Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.00,0:14:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ce alegeri fac, Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.00,0:14:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cum trateaza Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.00,0:14:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vulnerabilitatea. Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.00,0:14:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,De ce noi ceilalti ne chinuim atat de mult cu ea? Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.00,0:14:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eu sunt singura care ma lupt cu vulnerabilitatea? Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.00,0:14:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu. Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.00,0:14:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iata ce am invatat. Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.00,0:14:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anesteziem vulnerabilitatea Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.00,0:14:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,atunci cand asteptam telefonul acela. Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.00,0:14:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am postat pe Twitter si pe Facebook Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.00,0:14:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ceva cam asa: "Cum ai defini vulnerabilitatea? Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.00,0:14:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ce te face sa te simti vulnerabil?" Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.00,0:14:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Intr-o ora si jumatate aveam 150 de raspunsuri. Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.00,0:14:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Motivul e ca vroiam sa stiu Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.00,0:14:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ce pareri exista. Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.00,0:14:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sa ii cer sotului sa ma ajute Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.00,0:14:50.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca sunt bolnava si suntem proaspat casatoriti; Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.00,0:14:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa initiez un act sexual cu sotul meu; Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.00,0:14:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa initiez actul sexual cu sotia mea; Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.00,0:14:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa fiu respins; sa invit pe cineva in oras; Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.00,0:15:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa astept telefonul doctorului; Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.00,0:15:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa fiu concediat; sa ii concediez pe altii - Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.00,0:15:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aceasta e lumea in care traim. Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.00,0:15:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Traim intr-o lume vulnerabila Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.00,0:15:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si unul dintre modurile in care facem fata Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.00,0:15:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este sa anesteziem vulnerabilitatea. Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.00,0:15:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cred ca sunt dovezi - Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.00,0:15:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si acesta nu este singurul motiv pentru care aceste dovezi exista, Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.00,0:15:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar printre cauzele foarte importante, Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.00,0:15:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru care suntem cea mai indatorata, Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.00,0:15:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,obeza, Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.00,0:15:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dependenta si sub tratament Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.00,0:15:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,adunatura de adulti din istoria Statelor Unite. Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.00,0:15:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Problema este - si asta am aflat facand cercetarea - Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.00,0:15:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ca nu poti sa anesteziezi selectiv emotiile. Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.00,0:15:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu poti sa spui: iata emotiile rele. Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.00,0:15:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vulnerabilitatea, durerea, rusinea, Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.00,0:15:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iata teama si dezamagirea, Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.00,0:15:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nu mai vreau sa le simt. Dialogue: 0,0:15:49.00,0:15:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,O sa beau niste beri si o sa mananc niste briose cu banane si nuci. Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.00,0:15:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.00,0:15:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu mai vreau sa le simt. Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.00,0:15:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stiu ca este un ras vinovat. Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.00,0:16:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meseria mea e sa imi bag nasul in vietile voastre. Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.00,0:16:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Doamne. Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.00,0:16:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.00,0:16:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu poti sa anesteziezi acele sentimente greu de dus Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.00,0:16:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fara sa anesteziezi restul, emotiile cu totul. Dialogue: 0,0:16:10.00,0:16:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu poti sa le reduci la tacere selectiv, Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.00,0:16:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iar cand le anesteziezi pe ele, Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.00,0:16:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anesteziezi bucuria, Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.00,0:16:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,recunostinta, Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.00,0:16:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fericirea. Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.00,0:16:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apoi suntem nefericiti Dialogue: 0,0:16:24.00,0:16:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si ne cautam telul si sensul Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.00,0:16:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si ne simtim vulnerabili, Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.00,0:16:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asa ca ingurgitam cateva beri si o briosa cu banane. Dialogue: 0,0:16:31.00,0:16:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si totul se transforma intr-un cerc vicios periculos. Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.00,0:16:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unul dintre lucrurile asupra carora cred ca trebuie sa meditam Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.00,0:16:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este de ce si cum devenim anesteziati. Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.00,0:16:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu trebuie sa fie neaparat vorba despre dependenta. Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.00,0:16:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Un alt lucru pe care il facem Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.00,0:16:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,este sa transformam in sigur orice este nesigur. Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.00,0:16:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Religia a trecut de la credinta si mister Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.00,0:16:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,la absolut. Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.00,0:16:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eu am dreptate, tu nu. Sa taci din gura. Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.00,0:17:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asta e. Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.00,0:17:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Totul sa fie sigur. Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.00,0:17:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cu cat ne temem mai mult, cu atat devenim mai vulnerabili Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.00,0:17:06.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si ne temem si mai mult. Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.00,0:17:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa arata scena politica in ziua de azi. Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.00,0:17:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu mai exista discurs. Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.00,0:17:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu mai exista conversatie. Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.00,0:17:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Doar vina. Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.00,0:17:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stiti cum e descrisa vina in cercetare? Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.00,0:17:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ca un mod de a scapa de durere si discomfort. Dialogue: 0,0:17:21.00,0:17:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ne perfectionam. Dialogue: 0,0:17:23.00,0:17:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Daca exista cineva care vrea ca viata sa fie asa, aceea sunt eu, Dialogue: 0,0:17:26.00,0:17:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,insa nu functioneaza, Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.00,0:17:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca ceea ce facem este sa luam grasimea de pe fund Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.00,0:17:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si o punem in obraji. Dialogue: 0,0:17:32.00,0:17:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:17:35.00,0:17:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sper ca intr-o suta de ani Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.00,0:17:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oamenii vor privi in urma si vor exclama: "Oau" Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.00,0:17:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rasete) Dialogue: 0,0:17:41.00,0:17:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si cel mai periculos e ca ne perfectionam Dialogue: 0,0:17:43.00,0:17:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,copii. Dialogue: 0,0:17:45.00,0:17:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iata cum ii vedem pe copii. Dialogue: 0,0:17:47.00,0:17:50.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cand vin pe lume sunt deja pregatiti de lupta. Dialogue: 0,0:17:50.00,0:17:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa ca atunci cand tii acel bebelus perfect in brate, Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.00,0:17:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,treaba noastra nu e sa spunem: "Priveste-o, e perfecta. Dialogue: 0,0:17:55.00,0:17:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tot ce am de facut e sa ii mentim perfectiunea - Dialogue: 0,0:17:57.00,0:18:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asigura-te ca intra in echipa de tenis pana in clasa a cincea si e admisa la Yale pana intr-a saptea." Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.00,0:18:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nu asta avem de facut. Dialogue: 0,0:18:02.00,0:18:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Responsabilitatea noastra e sa privim si sa spunem: Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.00,0:18:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Stii ceva? Esti imperfecta si esti pregatita pentru lupta, Dialogue: 0,0:18:07.00,0:18:09.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dar meriti iubire si apartenenta." Dialogue: 0,0:18:09.00,0:18:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asta e treaba noastra. Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.00,0:18:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aratati-mi o generatie de copii crescuti asa Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.00,0:18:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si punem capat problemelor pe care eu cred ca le avem astazi. Dialogue: 0,0:18:16.00,0:18:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pretindem ca ceea ce facem Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.00,0:18:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nu ii afecteaza pe ceilalti. Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.00,0:18:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asa actionam in viata personala. Dialogue: 0,0:18:25.00,0:18:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tot la fel si la nivel de corporatie - Dialogue: 0,0:18:27.00,0:18:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,indiferent ca e vorba despre sprijin financiar, accident petrolier Dialogue: 0,0:18:29.00,0:18:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,o revocare - Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.00,0:18:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ne prefacem ca actiunile noastre Dialogue: 0,0:18:33.00,0:18:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nu au un impact enorm asupra altor oameni. Dialogue: 0,0:18:36.00,0:18:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Le-as spune companiilor ca asta nu e prima dintre incercari. Dialogue: 0,0:18:40.00,0:18:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tot ce va cerem este sa fiti autentici si realisti Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.00,0:18:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si sa spuneti "Ne pare rau. Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.00,0:18:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vom repara lucrurile." Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.00,0:18:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Exista si un alt fel de a face lucrurile si acesta e mesajul cu care inchei. Dialogue: 0,0:18:52.00,0:18:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Iata ce am invatat: Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.00,0:18:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa ne lasam vazuti, Dialogue: 0,0:18:56.00,0:18:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vazuti in profunzime, Dialogue: 0,0:18:58.00,0:19:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in toata vulnerabilitatea noastra; Dialogue: 0,0:19:01.00,0:19:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa iubim cu toata inima, Dialogue: 0,0:19:03.00,0:19:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chiar daca nu exista garantii - Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.00,0:19:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ceea ce este foarte greu Dialogue: 0,0:19:07.00,0:19:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,si din pozitia de parinte e chiar ingrozitor de greu - Dialogue: 0,0:19:12.00,0:19:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa exersam recunostinta si bucuria Dialogue: 0,0:19:15.00,0:19:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in acele momente de groaza Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.00,0:19:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cand ne intrebam: "Pot sa iubesc atat de mult? Dialogue: 0,0:19:19.00,0:19:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pot sa cred cu atata pasiune? Dialogue: 0,0:19:21.00,0:19:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pot sa fiu neinfricat?" Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.00,0:19:26.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa fim capabili sa ne oprim si, in loc sa previzionam catastrofe, Dialogue: 0,0:19:26.00,0:19:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa spunem: "Sunt atat de recunoscatoare Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.00,0:19:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pentru ca sa fiu atat de vulnerabila inseamna ca traiesc." Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.00,0:19:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Si in ultimul rand ceva ce cred ca este poate cel mai important: Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.00,0:19:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sa credem ca suntem suficienti. Dialogue: 0,0:19:39.00,0:19:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Atunci cand actionam din pozitia in care Dialogue: 0,0:19:41.00,0:19:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,credem ca suntem suficienti, Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.00,0:19:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,incetam sa tipam si incepem sa ascultam, Dialogue: 0,0:19:49.00,0:19:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,suntem mai buni si mai blanzi cu oamenii din jurul nostru, Dialogue: 0,0:19:51.00,0:19:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,suntem mai buni si mai blanzi cu noi. Dialogue: 0,0:19:54.00,0:19:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asta a fost tot. Multumesc. Dialogue: 0,0:19:56.00,0:19:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Aplauze)