WEBVTT

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Worldwide, over 1.5 billion people
experience armed conflict.

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In response,

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people are force
to the leave their country,

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leaving over 15 million refugees.

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Children, without a doubt, are the most
innocent and vulnerable victims.

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But not just from the obvious
physical dangers,

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but from the often unspoken effects
that wars have on their families.

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The experiences of war leave children
at a real high risk

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for the development of emotional
and behavioral problems.

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Children, as we can only imagine,

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will feel worried, threatened and at risk,

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but there is good news.

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The quality of care that children
receive in their families

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can have a more significant affect
on the their wellbeing

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than from the actual experiences of war
that they have been exposed to.

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So actually, children can be protected
by warm, secure parenting

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during and after conflict.

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In 2011, I was a first-year PhD student

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in the University of Manchester's
School of Psychological Sciences.

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Like many of you here,

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I watched the crisis in Syria unfold
in front of me on the TV.

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My family is originally from Syria,

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and very early on,

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I lost several family members
in really horrifying ways.

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I'd sit and I'd gather with my family
and watch the TV.

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So we've all seen those scenes --

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bombs destroying buildings,

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chaos,

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destruction,

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and people screaming and running.

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It was always the people screaming
and running that really got me the most,

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especially those
terrified-looking children.

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I was a mother to two young,
typically inquisitive children.

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They were five and six then,

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at an age where they typically asked
lots and lots of questions,

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and expected real, convincing answers.

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So I began to wonder what it might be like

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to parent my children in a war zone
and a refugee camp.

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Would my children change?

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Would my daughter's bright
happy eyes lose their shine?

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Would my son's really relaxed and carefree
nature become fearful and withdrawn?

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How would I cope?

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Would I change?

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As psychologists and parent trainers,

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we know that arming parents with skills
in caring for their children

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can have a huge effect on their wellbeing.

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We call this parent training.

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So the question I had was,

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could parent training programs
be useful for families

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while they were still in war zones
or refugee camps?

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Could we reach them
with advice or training

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that would help them
through these struggles?

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So, I approached my PhD supervisor,

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Professor [Rachel Kalem],

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with the idea of using my academic skills
to make some change in the real world.

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I wasn't quite sure what
exactly I wanted to do.

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She listened carefully and patiently,

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and then to my joy she said,

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"If that's what you want to do,

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and it means so much to you,

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then let's do it.

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Let's find ways to see if parent programs

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can be useful for families
in these contexts."

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So for the past five years,

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myself and my colleagues --

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Professor [Kalem] and Dr. Kim [Cartwright]

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have been working on ways
to support families

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that have experienced
war and displacement.

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Now, to know how to help families
that have been through conflict

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support their children,

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the first step must obviously be
to ask them what they're struggling with,

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right?

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I mean, it seems obvious.

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But it's often those
that are the most vulnerable

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that we're trying to support

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that we actually don't ask.

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How many times have we just assumed
we know exactly the right thing

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that's going to help someone or something
without actually asking them first?

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So I travelled to refugee camps
in Syria and in Turkey,

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and I sat with families,

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and I listened.

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I listened to their parenting challenges,

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I listened to their parenting struggles,

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and I listened to their call for help.

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And sometimes that was just [paused],

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as all I could do was
hold hands with them,

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and just join them in silent
crying and prayer.

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They told me about their struggles,

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they told me about the rough,
harsh refugee camp conditions

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that made it hard to focus on anything
but practical chores

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like collecting clean water.

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They told me how they watched
their children withdraw;

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the sadness, depression, anger,

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bed-wetting, thumb-sucking,
fear of loud noises,

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fear of nightmares --

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terrifying, terrifying nightmares.

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These families had been through
what we had been watching on the TV.

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The mothers,

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almost half of them were now
widows of war,

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or didn't even know if their husbands
were dead or alive,

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described how they thought they
were coping so badly.

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They watched their children change,

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and they had no idea how to help them.

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They didn't know how to answer
their children's questions.

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What I found incredibly astonishing,

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and so motivational,

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was that these families were so motivated
to support their children

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despite all these challenges they faced,

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they were trying to help their children.

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They were making attempts at seeking
support from NGO workers,

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from refugee camp teachers,

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professional medics,

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other parents.

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One mother I met had only been
in a camp for four days,

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and had already made two attempts

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at seeking support for
her eight-year-old daughter

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who was having terrible nightmares.

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But sadly, these attempts
are almost always useless.

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Refugee camp doctors,

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when available,

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are almost always too busy,

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or don't have the knowledge or the time
for basic parenting supports.

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Refugee camp teachers and other parents
are just like them --

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part of new refugee community
who's struggling with new needs.

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So then we began to think.

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How could we help these families?

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The families were struggling with things
much bigger than they could cope with.

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The Syrian crisis made it clear how
incredibly impossible it would be

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to reach families on an individual level.

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How else could we help them?

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How would reach families
at a population level,

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and at low costs

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in these terrifying, terrifying times.

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After hours of speaking to NGO workers,

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one suggested a fantastic, innovative idea

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of distributing parenting
information leaflets via breadwrappers.

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Bread wrappers that were being delivered
to famlies in a conflict zone in Syria

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by humanitarian workers.

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So that's what we did.

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The bread wrappers haven't changed
at all in their appearance,

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except for the addition
of two pieces of paper.

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One was a parenting information leaflet
that had basic advice

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and information
that normalized to the parent

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what they might be experiencing

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and what their child
might be experiencing.

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And information on how they could
support themselves and their children,

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such as information like spending
time talking to your child,

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showing them more affection,

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being more patient with your child,

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talking to your children.

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The other piece of paper
was a feedback questionnaire,

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and of course, there was a pen.

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So is this simply leaflet distribution,

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or is this actually a possible means
of delievering psychological first-aid

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that provides warm, secure,
loving parenting?

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We managed to distribute 3,000
of these in just one week.

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What was incredible was we had
a 60 percent response rate.

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60 percent of the 3,0000
families responded.

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I don't know how many researchers
we have here today,

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but that kind of response rate
is fantastic.

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To have that in Manchester would be
a huge achievement,

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let alone in a conflict zone in Syria --

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really highlighting how important
these kinds of messages were to families.

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I remember how excited and eager we were
for the return of the questionnaires.

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The families had left
hundreds of messages --

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most incredibly positive and encouraging.

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But my favorite has got to be,

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"Thank you for not forgetting
about us and our children."

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This really illustrates
the potential means

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of the delievery of psychological
first-aid to families,

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and the return of feedback, too.

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Just imagine replicating this
using other means,

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such as baby milk distribution,

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or female hygeine kits,

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or even food baskets.

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But let's bring this closer to home,

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because the refugee crisis

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is one that is having an effect
on every singly one of us.

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We're bombarded with images daily
of statistics and of photos,

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and that's not surprising,

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because by last month,

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over one million refugees
had reached Europe.

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One million.

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Refugees are joining our communities,

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they're becoming our neighbors,

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their children are attending
our children's schools.

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So we've adapted the leaflet to meet
the needs of European refugees,

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and we have them online,
open-access,

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in areas with a really high
refugee influx.

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For example,

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the Swedish Healthcare uploaded it
onto their website,

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and within the first 45 minutes,

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it was downloaded 343 times --

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really highlighting how important it is
for volunteers, practitioners,

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and other parents

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to have open-access, psychological
first-aid messages.

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In 2013, I was sitting on the cold
hard floor of a refugee camp tent

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with mothers sitting around me

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as I was conducting a focus group.

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Across from me stood an elederly lady

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with what seemed to be
a 13-year-old girl lying beside her,

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with her head on her elderly lady's knees.

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The girl stayed quiet
throughout the focus group,

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not talking at all,

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with her knees curled up
against her chest.

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Towards the end of the focus group,

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and as I was thanking
the mothers for their time,

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the elderly lady looked at me
while point at the young girl,

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and said to me,

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"Can you help us with...?"

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Not quite sure what she expected me to do,

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I looked at the young girl and smiled,

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and in Arabic I said,

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"Salaam Alaikum,

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mā ismak?"

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"What's your name?"

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She looked at me really
confused and unengaged,

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but then said,

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"Halul."

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Halul is the pet's name for the Arabic
female name, Hala,

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and is only really used to refer
to really young girls.

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At that point I realized that actually
Hala was probably much older than 13.

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It turns out Hala was a 25-year-old mother
to three young children.

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Hala had been a confident, bright,
bubbly, loving, caring mother

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to her children,

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but the war had changed all of that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She had lived through bombs
being dropped in her town;

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she had lived through explosions.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When fighter jets were flying
around their building,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
dropping bombs,

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her children would be screaming,

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terrified from the noise.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hala would frantically grab pillows
and cover her children's ears

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to block out the noise,

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all the while screaming herself.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When they reached the refugee camp,

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and she knew they were finally
in some kind of safety,

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she completely withdrew to acting
like her old childhood self.

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She compeltely rejected her family...

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her children, her husband.

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Hala simply could no longer cope.

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This is a parenting struggle
with a really tough ending,

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but sadly, it's not uncommon.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Those who experience armed
conflict and displacement

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
will face serious emotional stuggles.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And that's something we can all relate to.

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If you have been through
a devastating time in your life,

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if you have lost someone or something
you really care about,

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how would you continue to cope?

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Could you still be able to care
for yourself and for your family?