WEBVTT 00:00:01.468 --> 00:00:03.237 -Well, you guys, as you may have seen in the lead-up 00:00:03.237 --> 00:00:04.438 to the 50th anniversary, there have been a lot of 00:00:04.438 --> 00:00:07.341 "SNL"-related lists and rankings. 00:00:07.341 --> 00:00:10.444 Here with his ranking of the best "Weekend Update" anchors 00:00:10.444 --> 00:00:13.747 of all time is former "Update" anchor Bill Murray. 00:00:13.747 --> 00:00:16.416 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:21.388 -Thank you. Thank you, Colin. 00:00:21.388 --> 00:00:23.891 Let's just jump right in. 00:00:23.891 --> 00:00:28.562 In honor of Black History Month, I want to start by ranking 00:00:28.562 --> 00:00:33.200 the African-American "Weekend Update" anchors. 00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:35.235 [ Laughter ] 00:00:37.604 --> 00:00:39.239 We'll start with number one. 00:00:39.239 --> 00:00:42.142 And this is by default. 00:00:42.142 --> 00:00:43.510 Michael Che. 00:00:43.510 --> 00:00:45.679 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:00:48.515 --> 00:00:52.386 Now we'll move on to the regular "Weekend Update anchors. 00:00:52.386 --> 00:00:55.956 -Regular?! What do you mean regular? 00:00:55.956 --> 00:00:58.792 -These are in no particular order, 00:00:58.792 --> 00:01:02.796 so I've listed them from worst to best. 00:01:02.796 --> 00:01:06.233 First off, I have to disqualify myself 00:01:06.233 --> 00:01:08.769 because my entire time here 00:01:08.769 --> 00:01:12.272 I was on performance-enhancing drugs. 00:01:12.272 --> 00:01:15.309 It's what we call an 8H Shaker. 00:01:15.309 --> 00:01:19.079 Quaaludes, cocaine and nighttime Theraflu. 00:01:19.079 --> 00:01:20.781 [ Clears throat ] Alright. Number 10. 00:01:20.781 --> 00:01:25.886 He's one of the all-time greats. 00:01:25.886 --> 00:01:28.589 Mr. Colin... 00:01:28.589 --> 00:01:30.023 Quinn. 00:01:30.023 --> 00:01:34.461 -Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. -No. 00:01:34.461 --> 00:01:36.530 Had you for a second. No. You'll -- Don't worry. 00:01:36.530 --> 00:01:38.398 Don't -- 00:01:38.398 --> 00:01:43.437 Numbers 9, 8, and 7. Okay? Heads up. 00:01:43.437 --> 00:01:45.005 Kevin Nealon. Come on. 00:01:45.005 --> 00:01:46.940 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:01:46.940 --> 00:01:48.642 Dennis Miller. 00:01:48.642 --> 00:01:50.110 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:01:50.110 --> 00:01:51.979 And Seth Meyers. 00:01:51.979 --> 00:01:53.881 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:01:53.881 --> 00:01:56.250 I just wish we had the time tonight 00:01:56.250 --> 00:01:59.520 to say something nice about any of them. 00:01:59.520 --> 00:02:01.788 -We actually do probably have enough time. 00:02:01.788 --> 00:02:04.191 -Yeah. We're right here at 6 now, okay? 00:02:04.191 --> 00:02:07.327 Alright. Colin, this could be you, huh? 00:02:07.327 --> 00:02:09.696 -Is it? 00:02:09.696 --> 00:02:11.532 -No, it is not. 00:02:11.532 --> 00:02:13.333 The next two are controversial. 00:02:13.333 --> 00:02:15.035 This was tough. 00:02:15.035 --> 00:02:20.574 But I'm gonna put Tina and Amy... 00:02:20.574 --> 00:02:23.443 just ahead of Tina and Jimmy. 00:02:23.443 --> 00:02:24.811 -Oh. -Okay? 00:02:24.811 --> 00:02:26.980 -I'm sorry, Jimmy. I'm sorry. 00:02:26.980 --> 00:02:29.616 And congratulations, Tina. 00:02:29.616 --> 00:02:32.219 It was close, but I checked online, 00:02:32.219 --> 00:02:36.657 and girl-on-girl is still, like, very, very popular... 00:02:36.657 --> 00:02:41.795 Okay. Next up, Cornelius Crane Chase... 00:02:41.795 --> 00:02:46.767 who we've all come to know as Connie. 00:02:46.767 --> 00:02:48.669 Let's face it. "Weekend Update" 00:02:48.669 --> 00:02:51.638 simply would not exist without him. 00:02:51.638 --> 00:02:56.310 So it would be wrong to have him listed anywhere but number 4. 00:02:56.310 --> 00:02:58.312 [ Laughter ] 00:02:58.312 --> 00:03:00.113 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:03:00.113 --> 00:03:02.015 Number 3... 00:03:02.015 --> 00:03:05.352 Jane Curtin and Danny Aykroyd! 00:03:05.352 --> 00:03:07.688 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:03:07.688 --> 00:03:09.556 So, true story. 00:03:09.556 --> 00:03:13.594 I was the first to call Jane an ignorant slut. 00:03:13.594 --> 00:03:15.529 Backstage. 00:03:15.529 --> 00:03:19.366 Danny had the brilliant idea to say it on camera 00:03:19.366 --> 00:03:22.369 and really, really mean it. 00:03:22.369 --> 00:03:24.104 [ Laughter ] 00:03:24.104 --> 00:03:27.207 Number two is Norm Macdonald. 00:03:27.207 --> 00:03:29.076 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:03:32.446 --> 00:03:34.114 He may have been the best ever, 00:03:34.114 --> 00:03:37.484 but more importantly, he made me, for one, 00:03:37.484 --> 00:03:42.890 ask the question of myself... 00:03:42.890 --> 00:03:45.859 could O.J. possibly have done it? 00:03:45.859 --> 00:03:48.161 [ Laughter ] 00:03:58.172 --> 00:04:00.107 So that brings us to number one. 00:04:00.107 --> 00:04:01.608 Colin... 00:04:01.608 --> 00:04:04.411 got a good feeling about this. 00:04:04.411 --> 00:04:08.982 Okay. Number one is funny. Got a great smile. 00:04:08.982 --> 00:04:10.484 Ha! 00:04:10.484 --> 00:04:12.452 And he's currently sleeping every kind of way 00:04:12.452 --> 00:04:14.955 with the lovely actress Scarlett Johansson. 00:04:14.955 --> 00:04:17.024 Of course, I'm talking about... 00:04:17.024 --> 00:04:19.293 my brother, Brian Doyle-Murray. 00:04:19.293 --> 00:04:21.361 [ Laughter ] 00:04:21.361 --> 00:04:22.996 -What?! -Yeah. 00:04:22.996 --> 00:04:25.299 -Wow! -I'm told... 00:04:25.299 --> 00:04:28.402 I'm told he's a very, very considerate lover. 00:04:28.402 --> 00:04:30.671 That's it. I couldn't be happier to be here. 00:04:30.671 --> 00:04:32.973 -Bill Murray, everybody! -Bill Murray! 00:04:32.973 --> 00:04:34.741 -For "Weekend Update," I'm Colin Jost. 00:04:34.741 --> 00:04:37.477 -I'm Michael Che. Good night! -Good night.