Anyway,

It was a classic family meal
that was falling apart

And for it to fall apart
You need the right team

A Dad who doesn't love his wife 
But makes do

A Mum who doesn't love her husband
But makes stew

I've made stew!

A slightly vulgar uncle

I've just been to the bog 
So avoid it for a few hours...

An apologetic aunt

You must excuse him

An understanding brother

And me

As usual, I had eaten too much bread

Because the drinks had lasted 
2 hours and 34 minutes

And as usual they were talking politics

Because the drinks had lasted 
2 bottles and 34 glasses

My uncle swears way too much

"Well she should go <i>swear word</i> It's <i>swear word</i> I <i>swear word</i>

You must forgive him

At one point my mum said "Tell them'

What?

We're getting a divorce

You <i>swear word</i> of a <i>swear word</i> you <i>swear word</i> in the <i>swear word</i>

You must forgive him

I said: "Why?"

My Dad went:

I went:

My Dad went:

I went:

My brother went;

My uncle went:

My aunt went:

And my mum went quiet

I asked again: 'Why?'

For some little <i>swear word</i>

My Dad said "I love her. She understands me"

My uncle said: Well my <i>swear word</i> you're not <i>swear word</i>

You must forgive him

The reason was Manuela 
22 years old, languages student

Basically my mum but 35 years younger, 15 kilos lighter, and 2 bras sizes bigger

She was hot, hot and hot

Well I'm going. She understands me.

He had misunderstood.

Since then my dad lives at my place

Fuck, life really is shit.

Ok, that was a swear word
But this time I agreed

Anyway, I went to a family dinner