[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.00,0:00:02.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me just tell you this first. I was uh,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.55,0:00:05.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was at a place to eat dinner in New York,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.38,0:00:06.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I heard these two women talking,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.80,0:00:08.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one of them was talking about the guy
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.24,0:00:09.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she's dating. They were about 21 years old
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.85,0:00:11.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like, NYU students. And so she's
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.65,0:00:12.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking about it and you know a lot
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.65,0:00:13.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of times I'll hear this. A woman
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.77,0:00:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is talking about the guy she's dating and
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.83,0:00:17.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she runs down the stuff that's not
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.32,0:00:19.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,satisfying. The things she doesn't like
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.46,0:00:20.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[In mocking tone] "he just you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.54,0:00:22.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I text him and he like doesn't like
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.10,0:00:24.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respond right away and then when
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.41,0:00:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he does it's like whatever. So that's
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.93,0:00:29.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weird. And then like I saw him and he was
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.75,0:00:33.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just being weird and so then he calls me
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.12,0:00:34.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he's like sorry I'm weird it's like
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.92,0:00:37.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weird right now and I was like whatever
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.14,0:00:40.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[arbitrary noises]. So it's just weird."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.79,0:00:42.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I'm listening because I want
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.05,0:00:42.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to know what is her friend gonna
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.93,0:00:44.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say. I wanna know what kind of friend
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.08,0:00:45.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she has you know. And her friend just
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.58,0:00:48.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,says: "He's a piece of shit. He's
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.65,0:00:52.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a piece of shit. He's not good enough for
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.11,0:00:56.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you cause you're amazing. You're amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.55,0:01:00.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he just can't handle how amazing you are."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.63,0:01:03.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I remember thinking that is a shitty
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.47,0:01:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,friend. That's not a good friend. That is
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.04,0:01:08.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not a good way to approach life.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.93,0:01:11.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[In mocking tone] "I'm amazing. And anyone
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.44,0:01:13.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who doesn't text me back just can't
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.86,0:01:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,handle how amazing I am." I mean she's
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.78,0:01:19.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a student. She can't be, she's not Nelson
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.68,0:01:23.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mandela. She's in college. I'm sure she's
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.68,0:01:25.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fine. [In mocking tone] "You're amazing
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.64,0:01:28.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way you, take classes". What?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.100,0:01:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is so amazing? She's kind of boring
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.06,0:01:33.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's kind of a douche. It's fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.90,0:01:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're fine. You need to know that
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.48,0:01:38.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're boring a little bit. It's important.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.92,0:01:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Self love is a good thing but
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.64,0:01:44.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,self awareness is more important. You
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.22,0:01:45.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,need to once in a while go euh I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.74,0:01:47.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kind of an asshole. You have to have
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.04,0:01:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that thought once in a while or you're
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.54,0:01:50.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a psychopath. You know like when you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.94,0:01:53.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say to a friend "you're being an asshole"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.22,0:01:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they're like "no I'm not".
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.42,0:01:57.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well it's not up to you. If you're
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.60,0:01:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an asshole or not. That's up to everybody
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.94,0:02:03.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,else. You don't get to say no to that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.14,0:02:06.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're an asshole". No I'm not.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.46,0:02:08.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh sorry, I thought, okay, I'm glad I
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.40,0:02:11.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,checked. I guess you're not.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.32,0:02:13.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If somebody tells you you're an asshole
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.87,0:02:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you should go "ughh shit. Alright what
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.91,0:02:18.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,happened how did I get here".
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.69,0:02:20.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like somebody saying you know
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.48,0:02:21.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've got something on your face.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.33,0:02:23.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[In mocking tone] "No I don't".
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.64,0:02:26.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like America. I feel like America is
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.100,0:02:30.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the world's worst girlfriend. America
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.100,0:02:32.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a terrible girlfriend to the rest of
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.99,0:02:34.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the world. Because when somebody
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.29,0:02:37.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hurts America she remembers it forever.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.30,0:02:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if she does anything bad it's like
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.42,0:02:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[In mocking tone] "What?! It, I didn't do anything."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.49,0:02:45.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,America why do you keep bombing those
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.82,0:02:47.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people in Yemen? [In mocking tone] "Well,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.46,0:02:52.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because, 911. Okay? 911. So just
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.33,0:02:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shut up. Assholes."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.63,0:02:56.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay but you killed hundreds of thousands
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.99,0:02:59.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of people so I think - "yeah but 911
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.32,0:03:03.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so fuck you. You don't even understand."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.59,0:03:05.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah but you're torturing people. "I didn-
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.80,0:03:09.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that wasn't even torture. Oh my god. He's
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.80,0:03:13.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such a baby. I didn't do anything to him."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.16,0:03:20.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm saying this about women because
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.36,0:03:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a guy. Women might say this is what
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.76,0:03:24.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guys are like. That's just what it's like, you
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.41,0:03:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know because I think racism and sexism are
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.56,0:03:29.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very different. To me racism is just a
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.17,0:03:31.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mistake. It's like just an error.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.08,0:03:33.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't really make any sense. We can
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.09,0:03:34.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just do away with it. But sexism,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.95,0:03:37.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't going anywhere. Because,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.39,0:03:41.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sexism is way deep the fuck down inside.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.42,0:03:44.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's just the way we feel about each
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.26,0:03:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other. "Gaahhh women. Wom- Women."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.98,0:03:51.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wommeenennen"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.70,0:03:52.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"WOMEN"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.62,0:03:53.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Women"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.71,0:03:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're like "Men. Meeen."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.26,0:04:00.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Meeeeennn"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.15,0:04:02.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Meh- meeeen"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.55,0:04:04.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Men"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.37,0:04:05.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Men"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.87,0:04:06.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Men"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.29,0:04:10.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.91,0:04:14.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyways so I'm watching The
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.92,0:04:16.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wizard of Oz with my daughters.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.41,0:04:18.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that enough of a pallete cleanser?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.48,0:04:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.16,0:04:23.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm watching the Wizard of Oz. I don't know
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.88,0:04:25.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you've seen it it's about a little girl
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.12,0:04:28.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,named Dorothy. Uh, very sweet little
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.53,0:04:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,girl played by an alcoholic older lady.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.31,0:04:36.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who uh, lives in Kansas she has a dog
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.47,0:04:39.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she's very upset and she keeps telling people
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.38,0:04:40.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"my dog"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.47,0:04:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everybody's like "this is a farm,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.54,0:04:45.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're working, leave us alone."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.93,0:04:47.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then there's a tornado and they
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.41,0:04:49.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all run inside and they barely look for
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.41,0:04:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her it's unbelievable. It was so
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.08,0:04:52.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,upsetting to me when I was a kid
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.14,0:04:54.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see this movie. Because Auntie Em
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.15,0:04:55.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is like "Dorothy! Okay fuck it."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.92,0:04:57.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she just goes right inside
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.58,0:05:00.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bolts the door. Unbelievable.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.82,0:05:02.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.28,0:05:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So Dorothy goes up to Oz and here's the
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.29,0:05:06.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thing I was watching this the other night
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.23,0:05:07.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there was this one moment that really
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.89,0:05:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stunned me. It's when Ray Bolger,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.43,0:05:12.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,played the scarecrow, he just got
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.55,0:05:14.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ripped apart by flying monkeys.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.57,0:05:16.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he's very upset and has this
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.10,0:05:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,performance that's way over the top,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.12,0:05:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even for this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.10,0:05:20.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you remember that moment? The
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.50,0:05:22.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tin Man comes over "what happened?"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.43,0:05:23.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he's like "WELL FIRST THEY
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.45,0:05:25.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,TORE MY ARMS OFF. AND THEY THREW
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.75,0:05:28.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THEM OVER THERE. AND THEN THEY
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.89,0:05:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,TORE MY LEGS OFF. AND THEY THREW
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.41,0:05:36.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THEM OVER THERE." And I've seen this
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.20,0:05:38.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,movie a thousand times. But for some
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.70,0:05:40.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reason this time that moment made me
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.34,0:05:45.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,go "brrguhh shit". That was a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.41,0:05:49.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I started to wonder if Victor Fleming,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.33,0:05:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the guy who directed The Wizard of Oz,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.28,0:05:52.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if he had a moment during the filming of
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.87,0:05:54.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the movie, where he was like
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.11,0:05:56.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I think I gotta have a word with Ray.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.21,0:06:03.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause that's getting to be a lot. Alright
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.52,0:06:06.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just let him do another one. Okay action!"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.98,0:06:09.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What happened? "WELL FIRST THEY TORE MY
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.44,0:06:12.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ARMS OFF. AND THEY THREW THEM OVER THERE.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.31,0:06:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AND THEN THEY TORE MY LEGS OFF. AND THEY
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.78,0:06:19.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THREW THEM OVER THERE."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.80,0:06:21.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Okay cut."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.60,0:06:26.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Comes over.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.32,0:06:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Uh, so listen. Ray."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.11,0:06:34.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"YES?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.99,0:06:41.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Nah you're fine."