WEBVTT

00:00:00.907 --> 00:00:02.119
Loneliness.

00:00:03.475 --> 00:00:05.826
All of us in this room
will experience loneliness

00:00:05.850 --> 00:00:07.212
at some point in our lives.

00:00:08.014 --> 00:00:10.300
Loneliness is not
a function of being alone,

00:00:10.989 --> 00:00:13.648
but rather, a function
of how socially connected you are

00:00:13.672 --> 00:00:14.833
to those around you.

00:00:15.959 --> 00:00:18.153
There could be somebody
in this room right now

00:00:18.177 --> 00:00:19.714
surrounded by a thousand people

00:00:19.738 --> 00:00:21.092
experiencing loneliness.

00:00:23.284 --> 00:00:26.937
And while loneliness
can be attributed to many things,

00:00:26.961 --> 00:00:28.692
as an architect,

00:00:28.716 --> 00:00:31.653
I'm going to tell you today
how loneliness can be the result

00:00:31.677 --> 00:00:33.633
of our built environments --

00:00:33.657 --> 00:00:35.567
the very homes we choose to live in.

NOTE Paragraph

00:00:37.465 --> 00:00:39.061
Let's take a look at this house.

00:00:39.519 --> 00:00:40.740
It's a nice house.

00:00:40.764 --> 00:00:43.179
There's a big yard, picket fence,

00:00:43.203 --> 00:00:44.404
two-car garage.

00:00:46.198 --> 00:00:48.754
And the home might be
in a neighborhood like this.

00:00:49.559 --> 00:00:52.080
And for many people around the globe,

00:00:52.104 --> 00:00:54.324
this home, this neighborhood --

00:00:55.069 --> 00:00:56.245
it's a dream.

00:00:57.021 --> 00:00:59.699
And yet the danger of achieving this dream

00:00:59.723 --> 00:01:01.425
is a false sense of connection

00:01:02.606 --> 00:01:04.720
and an increase in social isolation.

NOTE Paragraph

00:01:05.431 --> 00:01:06.888
I know, I can hear you now,

00:01:06.912 --> 00:01:10.239
there's somebody in the room
screaming at me inside their head,

00:01:10.263 --> 00:01:12.554
"That's my house,
and that's my neighborhood,

00:01:12.578 --> 00:01:14.251
and I know everyone on my block!"

00:01:15.056 --> 00:01:17.355
To which I would answer, "Terrific!"

00:01:17.379 --> 00:01:19.525
And I wish there were
more people like you,

00:01:20.666 --> 00:01:23.534
because I'd wager to guess
there's more people in the room

00:01:23.558 --> 00:01:25.280
living in a similar situation

00:01:25.304 --> 00:01:27.189
that might not know their neighbors.

00:01:27.716 --> 00:01:30.457
They might recognize them and say hello,

00:01:30.481 --> 00:01:31.821
but under their breath,

00:01:33.416 --> 00:01:35.219
they're asking their spouse,

00:01:35.243 --> 00:01:36.641
"What was their name again?"

00:01:37.593 --> 00:01:40.674
so they can ask a question by name
to signify they know them.

NOTE Paragraph

00:01:43.155 --> 00:01:47.654
Social media also contributes
to this false sense of connection.

00:01:47.678 --> 00:01:49.676
This image is probably all too familiar.

00:01:49.700 --> 00:01:51.269
You're standing in the elevator,

00:01:51.293 --> 00:01:52.447
sitting in a cafe,

00:01:52.471 --> 00:01:54.107
and you look around,

00:01:54.131 --> 00:01:55.575
and everyone's on their phone.

00:01:57.055 --> 00:01:59.278
You're not texting or checking Facebook,

00:01:59.302 --> 00:02:00.709
but everyone else is,

00:02:00.733 --> 00:02:02.952
and maybe, like me,
you've been in a situation

00:02:02.976 --> 00:02:04.860
where you've made eye contact,

00:02:04.884 --> 00:02:07.177
smiled and said hello,

00:02:07.201 --> 00:02:09.892
and have that person
yank out their earbuds

00:02:10.534 --> 00:02:12.527
and say, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

00:02:13.877 --> 00:02:15.895
I find this incredibly isolating.

NOTE Paragraph

00:02:16.501 --> 00:02:18.685
The concept I'd like
to share with you today

00:02:18.709 --> 00:02:20.293
is an antidote to isolation.

00:02:20.703 --> 00:02:21.954
It's not a new concept.

00:02:21.978 --> 00:02:24.081
In fact, it's an age-old way of living,

00:02:24.105 --> 00:02:26.585
and it still exists in many
non-European cultures

00:02:26.609 --> 00:02:27.836
around the world.

00:02:28.517 --> 00:02:30.395
And about 50 years ago,

00:02:30.419 --> 00:02:33.536
the Danes decided to make up a new name,

00:02:33.560 --> 00:02:34.718
and since then,

00:02:34.742 --> 00:02:38.839
tens of thousands of Danish people
have been living in this connected way.

00:02:40.470 --> 00:02:43.838
And it's being pursued
more widely around the globe

00:02:43.862 --> 00:02:46.142
as people are seeking community.

00:02:47.445 --> 00:02:48.691
This concept

00:02:49.818 --> 00:02:51.018
is cohousing.

NOTE Paragraph

00:02:53.621 --> 00:02:56.874
Cohousing is an intentional neighborhood
where people know each other

00:02:56.898 --> 00:02:58.249
and look after one another.

00:02:58.908 --> 00:03:01.408
In cohousing, you have your own home,

00:03:01.432 --> 00:03:04.569
but you also share significant spaces,
both indoors and out.

00:03:05.037 --> 00:03:07.359
Before I show you
some pictures of cohousing,

00:03:07.383 --> 00:03:10.475
I'd like to first introduce you
to my friends Sheila and Spencer.

00:03:10.499 --> 00:03:14.431
When I first met Sheila and Spencer,
they were just entering their 60s,

00:03:14.455 --> 00:03:17.182
and Spencer was looking ahead
at the end of a long career

00:03:17.206 --> 00:03:18.440
in elementary education.

00:03:18.956 --> 00:03:20.693
And he really disliked the idea

00:03:20.717 --> 00:03:23.230
that he might not have
children in his life

00:03:23.254 --> 00:03:24.443
upon retirement.

00:03:27.053 --> 00:03:28.474
They're now my neighbors.

00:03:28.498 --> 00:03:31.512
We live in a cohousing community
that I not only designed,

00:03:31.536 --> 00:03:32.700
but developed

00:03:32.724 --> 00:03:34.548
and have my architecture practice in.

00:03:35.200 --> 00:03:38.486
This community is very intentional
about our social interactions.

NOTE Paragraph

00:03:38.510 --> 00:03:40.025
So let me take you on a tour.

00:03:41.496 --> 00:03:44.711
From the outside, we look like
any other small apartment building.

00:03:44.735 --> 00:03:47.393
In fact, we look identical
to the one next door,

00:03:47.417 --> 00:03:49.081
except that we're bright yellow.

00:03:50.266 --> 00:03:52.652
Inside, the homes are fairly conventional.

00:03:52.676 --> 00:03:55.189
We all have living rooms and kitchens,

00:03:55.213 --> 00:03:57.111
bedrooms and baths,

00:03:57.135 --> 00:04:00.527
and there are nine of these homes
around a central courtyard.

00:04:00.551 --> 00:04:01.720
This one's mine,

00:04:02.450 --> 00:04:04.236
and this one is Spencer and Sheila's.

00:04:04.935 --> 00:04:07.572
The thing that makes this building
uniquely cohousing

00:04:07.596 --> 00:04:08.878
are not the homes,

00:04:09.743 --> 00:04:11.610
but rather, what happens here --

00:04:12.430 --> 00:04:16.255
the social interactions that happen
in and around that central courtyard.

00:04:16.908 --> 00:04:18.594
When I look across the courtyard,

00:04:18.618 --> 00:04:20.633
I look forward to see Spencer and Sheila.

00:04:20.657 --> 00:04:22.693
In fact, every morning,
this is what I see,

00:04:22.717 --> 00:04:25.934
Spencer waving at me furiously
as we're making our breakfasts.

NOTE Paragraph

00:04:27.064 --> 00:04:29.554
From our homes, we look down
into the courtyard,

00:04:30.138 --> 00:04:31.930
and depending on the time of year,

00:04:31.954 --> 00:04:33.303
we see this:

00:04:33.327 --> 00:04:36.733
kids and grownups in various combinations

00:04:36.757 --> 00:04:39.121
playing and hanging out with each other.

00:04:39.145 --> 00:04:41.455
There's a lot of giggling and chatter.

00:04:41.479 --> 00:04:43.114
There's a lot of hula-hooping.

00:04:44.067 --> 00:04:47.627
And every now and then,
"Hey, quit hitting me!"

00:04:48.361 --> 00:04:50.133
or a cry from one of the kids.

00:04:50.157 --> 00:04:52.468
These are the sounds of our daily lives,

00:04:53.585 --> 00:04:55.706
and the sounds of social connectedness.

00:04:56.476 --> 00:04:59.867
At the bottom of the courtyard,
there are a set of double doors,

00:04:59.891 --> 00:05:01.956
and those lead into the common house.

NOTE Paragraph

00:05:02.503 --> 00:05:06.359
I consider the common house
the secret sauce of cohousing.

00:05:06.383 --> 00:05:07.546
It's the secret sauce

00:05:07.570 --> 00:05:10.444
because it's the place
where the social interactions

00:05:10.468 --> 00:05:12.990
and community life begin,

00:05:13.014 --> 00:05:16.673
and from there, it radiates out
through the rest of the community.

00:05:19.690 --> 00:05:22.227
Inside our common house,
we have a large dining room

00:05:22.251 --> 00:05:24.833
to seat all 28 of us and our guests,

00:05:24.857 --> 00:05:27.031
and we dine together three times a week.

00:05:28.158 --> 00:05:30.949
In support of those meals,
we have a large kitchen

00:05:30.973 --> 00:05:33.468
so that we can take turns
cooking for each other

00:05:33.492 --> 00:05:34.730
in teams of three.

00:05:34.754 --> 00:05:36.953
So that means, with 17 adults,

00:05:38.096 --> 00:05:40.548
I lead cook once every six weeks.

00:05:40.572 --> 00:05:42.950
Two other times, I show up
and help my team

00:05:42.974 --> 00:05:44.771
with the preparation and cleanup.

00:05:44.795 --> 00:05:46.360
And all those other nights,

00:05:46.384 --> 00:05:47.621
I just show up.

00:05:48.423 --> 00:05:50.875
I have dinner, talk with my neighbors,

00:05:50.899 --> 00:05:53.244
and I go home, having been fed
a delicious meal

00:05:53.268 --> 00:05:56.112
by someone who cares
about my vegetarian preferences.

NOTE Paragraph

00:05:59.239 --> 00:06:01.577
Our nine families
have intentionally chosen

00:06:01.601 --> 00:06:03.122
an alternative way of living.

00:06:03.835 --> 00:06:05.955
Instead of pursuing the American dream,

00:06:05.979 --> 00:06:08.877
where we might have been isolated
in our single-family homes,

00:06:08.901 --> 00:06:10.568
we instead chose cohousing,

00:06:11.467 --> 00:06:13.730
so that we can increase
our social connections.

00:06:14.377 --> 00:06:16.239
And that's how cohousing starts:

00:06:16.263 --> 00:06:17.917
with a shared intention

00:06:17.941 --> 00:06:19.425
to live collaboratively.

00:06:19.449 --> 00:06:22.328
And intention is the single most
important characteristic

00:06:22.352 --> 00:06:25.411
that differentiates cohousing
from any other housing model.

00:06:26.725 --> 00:06:28.770
And while intention is difficult to see

00:06:28.794 --> 00:06:30.624
or even show,

00:06:30.648 --> 00:06:33.592
I'm an architect, and I can't help
but show you more pictures.

NOTE Paragraph

00:06:33.616 --> 00:06:35.682
So here are a few examples to illustrate

00:06:35.706 --> 00:06:37.990
how intention has been expressed

00:06:38.014 --> 00:06:40.126
in some of the communities I've visited.

00:06:42.459 --> 00:06:44.697
Through the careful
selection of furniture,

00:06:44.721 --> 00:06:48.151
lighting and acoustic materials
to support eating together;

00:06:50.056 --> 00:06:52.470
in the careful visual location
and visual access

00:06:53.212 --> 00:06:56.930
to kids' play areas around
and inside the common house;

00:06:59.398 --> 00:07:01.737
in the consideration of scale

00:07:01.761 --> 00:07:04.548
and distribution of social gathering nodes

00:07:04.572 --> 00:07:07.889
in and around the community
to support our daily lives,

00:07:07.913 --> 00:07:11.259
all of these spaces help
contribute to and elevate

00:07:11.283 --> 00:07:12.601
the sense of communitas

00:07:12.625 --> 00:07:13.964
in each community.

NOTE Paragraph

00:07:15.073 --> 00:07:16.900
What was that word? "Communitas."

00:07:18.117 --> 00:07:22.841
Communitas is a fancy social science way
of saying "spirit of community."

00:07:23.765 --> 00:07:26.227
And in visiting
over 80 different communities,

00:07:26.251 --> 00:07:28.707
my measure of communitas became:

00:07:28.731 --> 00:07:31.549
How frequently did residents eat together?

00:07:32.845 --> 00:07:34.947
While it's completely up to each group

00:07:34.971 --> 00:07:37.034
how frequently they have common meals,

00:07:38.406 --> 00:07:41.445
I know some that have eaten together
every single night

00:07:41.469 --> 00:07:43.321
for the past 40 years.

00:07:44.298 --> 00:07:45.509
I know others

00:07:46.239 --> 00:07:48.791
that have an occasional potluck
once or twice a month.

00:07:49.751 --> 00:07:51.745
And from my observations, I can tell you,

00:07:51.769 --> 00:07:53.858
those that eat together more frequently,

00:07:53.882 --> 00:07:56.627
exhibit higher levels of communitas.

00:07:58.170 --> 00:08:00.966
It turns out, when you eat together,

00:08:00.990 --> 00:08:03.153
you start planning
more activities together.

00:08:04.200 --> 00:08:06.373
When you eat together,
you share more things.

00:08:06.397 --> 00:08:08.181
You start to watch each other's kids.

00:08:08.205 --> 00:08:11.120
You lend our your power tools.
You borrow each other's cars.

NOTE Paragraph

00:08:11.144 --> 00:08:12.465
And despite all this,

00:08:13.578 --> 00:08:15.095
as my daughter loves to say,

00:08:15.119 --> 00:08:18.567
everything is not rainbows
and unicorns in cohousing,

00:08:19.281 --> 00:08:23.058
and I'm not best friends
with every single person in my community.

00:08:23.082 --> 00:08:25.501
We even have differences and conflicts.

00:08:27.414 --> 00:08:30.812
But living in cohousing,
we're intentional about our relationships.

00:08:31.685 --> 00:08:34.096
We're motivated
to resolve our differences.

00:08:35.089 --> 00:08:36.835
We follow up, we check in,

00:08:37.446 --> 00:08:39.540
we speak our personal truths

00:08:39.564 --> 00:08:40.903
and, when appropriate,

00:08:41.732 --> 00:08:42.953
we apologize.

NOTE Paragraph

00:08:43.986 --> 00:08:48.122
Skeptics will say that cohousing
is only interesting or attractive

00:08:48.146 --> 00:08:49.731
to a very small group of people.

00:08:50.429 --> 00:08:51.888
And I'll agree with that.

00:08:52.648 --> 00:08:54.989
If you look at Western cultures
around the globe,

00:08:55.013 --> 00:08:57.729
those living in cohousing
are just a fractional percent.

00:08:58.910 --> 00:09:00.280
But that needs to change,

00:09:01.172 --> 00:09:03.255
because our very lives depend upon it.

NOTE Paragraph

00:09:04.820 --> 00:09:08.503
In 2015, Brigham Young University
completed a study

00:09:08.527 --> 00:09:13.256
that showed a significant
increase risk of premature death

00:09:13.280 --> 00:09:15.416
in those who were living in isolation.

00:09:16.905 --> 00:09:19.299
The US Surgeon General
has declared isolation

00:09:19.323 --> 00:09:20.890
to be a public health epidemic.

00:09:21.424 --> 00:09:25.014
And this epidemic
is not restricted to the US alone.

NOTE Paragraph

00:09:27.179 --> 00:09:29.253
So when I said earlier

00:09:29.277 --> 00:09:32.155
that cohousing
is an antidote to isolation,

00:09:33.767 --> 00:09:35.388
what I should have said

00:09:35.412 --> 00:09:38.566
is that cohousing can save your life.

00:09:40.840 --> 00:09:43.799
If I was a doctor, I would tell you
to take two aspirin,

00:09:43.823 --> 00:09:45.182
and call me in the morning.

00:09:46.536 --> 00:09:47.855
But as an architect,

00:09:47.879 --> 00:09:50.910
I'm going to suggest
that you take a walk with your neighbor,

00:09:50.934 --> 00:09:52.393
share a meal together,

00:09:53.281 --> 00:09:54.975
and call me in 20 years.

NOTE Paragraph

00:09:56.010 --> 00:09:57.288
Thank you.

NOTE Paragraph

00:09:57.312 --> 00:10:01.079
(Applause)