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Loneliness.

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All of us in this room
will experience loneliness

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at some point in our lives.

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Loneliness is not
a function of being alone,

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but rather, a function
of how socially connected you are

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to those around you.

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There could be somebody
in this room right now

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surrounded by a thousand people

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experiencing loneliness.

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And while loneliness
can be attributed to many things,

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as an architect,

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I'm going to tell you today
how loneliness can be the result

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of our built environments --

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the very homes we choose to live in.

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Let's take a look at this house.

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It's a nice house.

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There's a big yard, picket fence,

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two-car garage.

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And the home might be
in a neighborhood like this.

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And for many people around the globe,

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this home, this neighborhood --

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it's a dream.

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And yet the danger of achieving this dream

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is a false sense of connection

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and an increase in social isolation.

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I know, I can hear you now,

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there's somebody in the room
screaming at me inside their head,

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"That's my house,
and that's my neighborhood,

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and I know everyone on my block!"

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To which I would answer, "Terrific!"

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And I wish there were
more people like you,

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because I'd wager to guess
there's more people in the room

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living in a similar situation

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that might not know their neighbors.

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They might recognize them and say hello,

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but under their breath,

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they're asking their spouse,

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"What was their name again?"

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so they can ask a question by name
to signify they know them.

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Social media also contributes
to this false sense of connection.

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This image is probably all too familiar.

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You're standing in the elevator,

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sitting in a cafe,

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and you look around,

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and everyone's on their phone.

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You're not texting or checking Facebook,

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but everyone else is,

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and maybe, like me,
you've been in a situation

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where you've made eye contact,

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smiled and said hello,

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and have that person
yank out their earbuds

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and say, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

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I find this incredibly isolating.

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The concept I'd like
to share with you today

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is an antidote to isolation.

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It's not a new concept.

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In fact, it's an age-old way of living,

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and it still exists in many
non-European cultures

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around the world.

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And about 50 years ago,

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the Danes decided to make up a new name,

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and since then,

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tens of thousands of Danish people
have been living in this connected way.

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And it's being pursued
more widely around the globe

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as people are seeking community.

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This concept

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is cohousing.

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Cohousing is an intentional neighborhood
where people know each other

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and look after one another.

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In cohousing, you have your own home,

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but you also share significant spaces,
both indoors and out.

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Before I show you
some pictures of cohousing,

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I'd like to first introduce you
to my friends Sheila and Spencer.

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When I first met Sheila and Spencer,
they were just entering their 60s,

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and Spencer was looking ahead
at the end of a long career

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in elementary education.

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And he really disliked the idea

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that he might not have
children in his life

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upon retirement.

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They're now my neighbors.

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We live in a cohousing community
that I not only designed,

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but developed

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and have my architecture practice in.

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This community is very intentional
about our social interactions.

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So let me take you on a tour.

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From the outside, we look like
any other small apartment building.

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In fact, we look identical
to the one next door,

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except that we're bright yellow.

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Inside, the homes are fairly conventional.

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We all have living rooms and kitchens,

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bedrooms and baths,

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and there are nine of these homes
around a central courtyard.

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This one's mine,

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and this one is Spencer and Sheila's.

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The thing that makes this building
uniquely cohousing

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are not the homes,

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but rather, what happens here --

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the social interactions that happen
in and around that central courtyard.

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When I look across the courtyard,

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I look forward to see Spencer and Sheila.

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In fact, every morning,
this is what I see,

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Spencer waving at me furiously
as we're making our breakfasts.

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From our homes, we look down
into the courtyard,

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and depending on the time of year,

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we see this:

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kids and grownups in various combinations

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playing and hanging out with each other.

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There's a lot of giggling and chatter.

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There's a lot of hula-hooping.

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And every now and then,
"Hey, quit hitting me!"

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or a cry from one of the kids.

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These are the sounds of our daily lives,

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and the sounds of social connectedness.

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At the bottom of the courtyard,
there are a set of double doors,

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and those lead into the common house.

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I consider the common house
the secret sauce of cohousing.

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It's the secret sauce

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because it's the place
where the social interactions

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and community life begin,

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and from there, it radiates out
through the rest of the community.

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Inside our common house,
we have a large dining room

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to seat all 28 of us and our guests,

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and we dine together three times a week.

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In support of those meals,
we have a large kitchen

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so that we can take turns
cooking for each other

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in teams of three.

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So that means, with 17 adults,

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I lead cook once every six weeks.

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Two other times, I show up
and help my team

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with the preparation and cleanup.

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And all those other nights,

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I just show up.

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I have dinner, talk with my neighbors,

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and I go home, having been fed
a delicious meal

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by someone who cares
about my vegetarian preferences.

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Our nine families
have intentionally chosen

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an alternative way of living.

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Instead of pursuing the American dream,

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where we might have been isolated
in our single-family homes,

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we instead chose cohousing,

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so that we can increase
our social connections.

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And that's how cohousing starts:

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with a shared intention

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to live collaboratively.

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And intention is the single most
important characteristic

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that differentiates cohousing
from any other housing model.

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And while intention is difficult to see

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or even show,

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I'm an architect, and I can't help
but show you more pictures.

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So here are a few examples to illustrate

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how intention has been expressed

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in some of the communities I've visited.

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Through the careful
selection of furniture,

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lighting and acoustic materials
to support eating together;

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in the careful visual location
and visual access

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to kids' play areas around
and inside the common house;

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in the consideration of scale

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and distribution of social gathering nodes

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in and around the community
to support our daily lives,

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all of these spaces help
contribute to and elevate

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the sense of communitas

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in each community.

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What was that word? "Communitas."

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Communitas is a fancy social science way
of saying "spirit of community."

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And in visiting
over 80 different communities,

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my measure of communitas became:

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How frequently did residents eat together?

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While it's completely up to each group

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how frequently they have common meals,

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I know some that have eaten together
every single night

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for the past 40 years.

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I know others

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that have an occasional potluck
once or twice a month.

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And from my observations, I can tell you,

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those that eat together more frequently,

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exhibit higher levels of communitas.

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It turns out, when you eat together,

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you start planning
more activities together.

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When you eat together,
you share more things.

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You start to watch each other's kids.

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You lend our your power tools.
You borrow each other's cars.

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And despite all this,

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as my daughter loves to say,

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everything is not rainbows
and unicorns in cohousing,

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and I'm not best friends
with every single person in my community.

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We even have differences and conflicts.

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But living in cohousing,
we're intentional about our relationships.

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We're motivated
to resolve our differences.

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We follow up, we check in,

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we speak our personal truths

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and, when appropriate,

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we apologize.

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Skeptics will say that cohousing
is only interesting or attractive

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to a very small group of people.

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And I'll agree with that.

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If you look at Western cultures
around the globe,

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those living in cohousing
are just a fractional percent.

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But that needs to change,

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because our very lives depend upon it.

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In 2015, Brigham Young University
completed a study

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that showed a significant
increase risk of premature death

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in those who were living in isolation.

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The US Surgeon General
has declared isolation

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to be a public health epidemic.

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And this epidemic
is not restricted to the US alone.

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So when I said earlier

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that cohousing
is an antidote to isolation,

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what I should have said

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is that cohousing can save your life.

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If I was a doctor, I would tell you
to take two aspirin,

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and call me in the morning.

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But as an architect,

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I'm going to suggest
that you take a walk with your neighbor,

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share a meal together,

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and call me in 20 years.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)