WEBVTT

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-Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg

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-Shut up!

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-[sighs] Come on, Ian. Hurry up.

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-[Ian groans] Saint Patrick's Day is so dumb.

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Do Irish people even believe in this stupid leprechaun crap?

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-Okay, I know it sounds little crazy, but all holidays are like that.

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Can you imagine how stupid it'd be

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if holidays were actually realistic?

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-Ahh! What the hell?!

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I'm f--king stuck! F--king motherf--ker!

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[yelling]

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-Oh, this Easter egg hunt is so cool!

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-I got jellybeans in mine.

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-Hey, where do you think these come from, anyway?

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-[grunting sound]

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Happy Easter! [grunting]

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-[whimpers]

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[retches]

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-[speaking slowly]: I think the both of our peoples

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working together can benefit everyone.

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-Why is he talking like that?

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-I think he might be mentally challenged.

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-That explains the stupid hat.

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-Pika! Pika! I got so much candy!

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-Check every piece of candy before you eat it, young man.

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You know there might be razor blades in there.

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-Come on, Mom. When has anyone ever-- Bleeh!!

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-[slurring]: I wanna make out with someone

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and blame it on being drunk!

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-Okay, class.

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Christopher Columbus definitely intended to find America,

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he definitely found America first,

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and he definitely wasn't responsible

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for the savage murder of all the natives.

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-Good. Good.

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-[affectionately]: I love you, my snickernoodle.

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-(both) You're so cute.

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-(Anthony) I love you. I love you more. -I wuv you.

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-So... what'd you get me for Mother's Day, son?

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-[scoffs] You're not my mom.

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-Or am I?

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Yeah, that idiot totally bought it.

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I'm getting a Father's Day AND a Mother's Day gift this year.

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Yeah! -Life hack!

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-Yeah, I guess that would be pretty dumb.

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-Told you.

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-Well, I'm gonna go pinch some people for not wearing green.

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Pinch. [laughs devilishly]

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[hums]

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-[Irish accent]: Well, you tell that bitch, Tinkerbell,

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she'd better have all me money and in gold, too.

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-[thinking]: Oh, my God, leprechauns are real!

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-I had 20 bucks on Notre Dame, the lousy--

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-I caught you, leprechaun! Now take me to your gold!

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-Oh, dang it.

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All right, get it there.

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-Okay. -Go on.

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I'll give you some gold.

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-(Ian) So where's the gold?

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[unzipping sound] Why are you unzipping that?

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[leprechaun laughing] Oh, my God! No!

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No, please! No! Oh God, it hurts!

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Please stop, it hurts!

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-What's wrong, boy?

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-The gold coins are hurting my hands.

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-Well, at least you got some free money.

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-I certainly did!

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-Always trust a man in a big white van

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[ding!]

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-To see bloopers and a scene for April Fools' Day

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and birthday-- is that even a holiday?--

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click the link in the description below!

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-[cheers]

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-Thanks for subscribing!

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Now I'm off to go buy a white van.

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[creepily]: Anyone want some freee goooold?

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[chuckles creepily] Captioned by SpongeSebastian