[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.12,0:00:03.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.65,0:00:05.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Shut up!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.41,0:00:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[sighs] Come on, Ian. Hurry up.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.98,0:00:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[Ian groans] Saint Patrick's Day is so dumb.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.00,0:00:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do Irish people even believe in this stupid leprechaun crap?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.72,0:00:19.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Okay, I know it sounds little crazy, but all holidays are like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.48,0:00:21.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you imagine how stupid it'd be
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.25,0:00:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if holidays were actually realistic?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.57,0:00:33.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ahh! What the hell?!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.97,0:00:37.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm f--king stuck! F--king motherf--ker!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.82,0:00:39.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[yelling]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.56,0:00:46.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, this Easter egg hunt is so cool!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.14,0:00:48.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I got jellybeans in mine.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.09,0:00:51.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Hey, where do you think these come from, anyway?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.01,0:00:54.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[grunting sound]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.10,0:01:04.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Happy Easter! [grunting]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.27,0:01:06.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[whimpers]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.11,0:01:07.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[retches]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.32,0:01:14.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[speaking slowly]: I think the both of our peoples
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.10,0:01:19.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,working together can benefit everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.62,0:01:22.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Why is he talking like that?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.08,0:01:25.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I think he might be mentally challenged.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.47,0:01:28.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-That explains the stupid hat.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.35,0:01:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Pika! Pika! I got so much candy!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.74,0:01:39.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Check every piece of candy before you eat it, young man.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.08,0:01:41.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know there might be razor blades in there.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.35,0:01:44.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Come on, Mom. When has anyone ever-- Bleeh!!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.73,0:01:49.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[slurring]: I wanna make out with someone
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.94,0:01:52.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and blame it on being drunk!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.94,0:02:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Okay, class.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.83,0:02:08.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Christopher Columbus definitely intended to find America,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.34,0:02:11.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he definitely found America first,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.31,0:02:13.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he definitely wasn't responsible
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.35,0:02:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the savage murder of all the natives.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.72,0:02:20.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Good. Good.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.92,0:02:25.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[affectionately]: I love you, my snickernoodle.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.81,0:02:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-(both) You're so cute.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.80,0:02:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-(Anthony) I love you. I love you more. -I wuv you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.79,0:02:38.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-So... what'd you get me for Mother's Day, son?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.28,0:02:40.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[scoffs] You're not my mom.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.85,0:02:43.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Or am I?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.50,0:02:47.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, that idiot totally bought it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.33,0:02:50.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm getting a Father's Day AND a Mother's Day gift this year.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.54,0:02:54.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah! -Life hack!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.57,0:02:56.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah, I guess that would be pretty dumb.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.64,0:02:57.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Told you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.80,0:03:01.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, I'm gonna go pinch some people for not wearing green.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.06,0:03:03.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pinch. [laughs devilishly]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.52,0:03:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[hums]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.58,0:03:06.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[Irish accent]: Well, you tell that bitch, Tinkerbell,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.14,0:03:09.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she'd better have all me money and in gold, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.35,0:03:11.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[thinking]: Oh, my God, leprechauns are real!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.90,0:03:14.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I had 20 bucks on Notre Dame, the lousy--
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.47,0:03:17.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I caught you, leprechaun! Now take me to your gold!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.16,0:03:18.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, dang it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.55,0:03:20.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right, get it there.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.45,0:03:22.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Okay. -Go on.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.22,0:03:23.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll give you some gold.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.72,0:03:27.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-(Ian) So where's the gold?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.01,0:03:28.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[unzipping sound] Why are you unzipping that?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.72,0:03:30.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[leprechaun laughing] Oh, my God! No!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.86,0:03:34.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, please! No! Oh God, it hurts!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.25,0:03:36.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please stop, it hurts!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.16,0:03:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-What's wrong, boy?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.41,0:03:40.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-The gold coins are hurting my hands.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.43,0:03:43.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, at least you got some free money.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.03,0:03:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I certainly did!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.46,0:03:48.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Always trust a man in a big white van
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.18,0:03:49.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ding!]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.48,0:03:54.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-To see bloopers and a scene for April Fools' Day
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.15,0:03:57.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and birthday-- is that even a holiday?--
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.52,0:04:00.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,click the link in the description below!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.57,0:04:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-[cheers]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.14,0:04:04.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Thanks for subscribing!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.33,0:04:06.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I'm off to go buy a white van.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.79,0:04:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[creepily]: Anyone want some freee goooold?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.36,0:04:14.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[chuckles creepily] Captioned by SpongeSebastian