0:00:00.116,0:00:03.646
-Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg

0:00:03.646,0:00:05.410
-Shut up!

0:00:05.410,0:00:07.985
-[sighs] Come on, Ian. Hurry up.

0:00:07.985,0:00:12.005
-[Ian groans] Saint Patrick's Day is so dumb.

0:00:12.005,0:00:15.724
Do Irish people even believe in this stupid leprechaun crap?

0:00:15.724,0:00:19.478
-Okay, I know it sounds little crazy, but all holidays are like that.

0:00:19.478,0:00:21.246
Can you imagine how stupid it'd be

0:00:21.246,0:00:23.524
if holidays were actually realistic?

0:00:31.570,0:00:33.971
-Ahh! What the hell?!

0:00:33.971,0:00:37.825
I'm f--king stuck! F--king motherf--ker!

0:00:37.825,0:00:39.467
[yelling]

0:00:43.560,0:00:46.138
-Oh, this Easter egg hunt is so cool!

0:00:46.138,0:00:48.089
-I got jellybeans in mine.

0:00:48.089,0:00:51.009
-Hey, where do you think these come from, anyway?

0:00:51.009,0:00:54.290
-[grunting sound]

0:01:01.105,0:01:04.270
Happy Easter! [grunting]

0:01:04.270,0:01:06.108
-[whimpers]

0:01:06.108,0:01:07.455
[retches]

0:01:11.317,0:01:14.095
-[speaking slowly]: I think the both of our peoples

0:01:14.095,0:01:19.621
working together can benefit everyone.

0:01:19.621,0:01:22.083
-Why is he talking like that?

0:01:22.083,0:01:25.473
-I think he might be mentally challenged.

0:01:25.473,0:01:28.398
-That explains the stupid hat.

0:01:32.352,0:01:35.739
-Pika! Pika! I got so much candy!

0:01:35.739,0:01:39.080
-Check every piece of candy before you eat it, young man.

0:01:39.080,0:01:41.351
You know there might be razor blades in there.

0:01:41.351,0:01:44.730
-Come on, Mom. When has anyone ever-- Bleeh!!

0:01:48.730,0:01:49.943
-[slurring]: I wanna make out with someone

0:01:49.943,0:01:52.222
and blame it on being drunk!

0:02:03.945,0:02:04.833
-Okay, class.

0:02:04.833,0:02:08.337
Christopher Columbus definitely intended to find America,

0:02:08.337,0:02:11.309
he definitely found America first,

0:02:11.309,0:02:13.352
and he definitely wasn't responsible

0:02:13.352,0:02:15.721
for the savage murder of all the natives.

0:02:15.721,0:02:20.040
-Good. Good.

0:02:23.917,0:02:25.812
-[affectionately]: I love you, my snickernoodle.

0:02:25.812,0:02:27.795
-(both) You're so cute.

0:02:27.795,0:02:31.867
-(Anthony) I love you. I love you more. -I wuv you.

0:02:35.790,0:02:38.283
-So... what'd you get me for Mother's Day, son?

0:02:38.283,0:02:40.852
-[scoffs] You're not my mom.

0:02:40.852,0:02:43.914
-Or am I?

0:02:45.499,0:02:47.334
Yeah, that idiot totally bought it.

0:02:47.334,0:02:50.545
I'm getting a Father's Day AND a Mother's Day gift this year.

0:02:50.545,0:02:54.573
Yeah! -Life hack!

0:02:54.573,0:02:56.635
-Yeah, I guess that would be pretty dumb.

0:02:56.635,0:02:57.803
-Told you.

0:02:57.803,0:03:01.056
-Well, I'm gonna go pinch some people for not wearing green.

0:03:01.056,0:03:03.517
Pinch. [laughs devilishly]

0:03:03.517,0:03:04.575
[hums]

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-[Irish accent]: Well, you tell that bitch, Tinkerbell,

0:03:06.144,0:03:09.347
she'd better have all me money and in gold, too.

0:03:09.347,0:03:11.900
-[thinking]: Oh, my God, leprechauns are real!

0:03:11.900,0:03:14.467
-I had 20 bucks on Notre Dame, the lousy--

0:03:14.467,0:03:17.161
-I caught you, leprechaun! Now take me to your gold!

0:03:17.161,0:03:18.554
-Oh, dang it.

0:03:18.554,0:03:20.450
All right, get it there.

0:03:20.450,0:03:22.223
-Okay. -Go on.

0:03:22.223,0:03:23.709
I'll give you some gold.

0:03:25.724,0:03:27.006
-(Ian) So where's the gold?

0:03:27.006,0:03:28.724
[unzipping sound] Why are you unzipping that?

0:03:28.724,0:03:30.860
[leprechaun laughing] Oh, my God! No!

0:03:30.860,0:03:34.251
No, please! No! Oh God, it hurts!

0:03:34.251,0:03:36.155
Please stop, it hurts!

0:03:36.155,0:03:37.408
-What's wrong, boy?

0:03:37.408,0:03:40.427
-The gold coins are hurting my hands.

0:03:40.427,0:03:43.028
-Well, at least you got some free money.

0:03:43.028,0:03:45.455
-I certainly did!

0:03:45.455,0:03:48.184
-Always trust a man in a big white van

0:03:48.184,0:03:49.479
[ding!]

0:03:49.479,0:03:54.151
-To see bloopers and a scene for April Fools' Day

0:03:54.151,0:03:57.517
and birthday-- is that even a holiday?--

0:03:57.517,0:04:00.574
click the link in the description below!

0:04:00.574,0:04:02.144
-[cheers]

0:04:02.144,0:04:04.327
-Thanks for subscribing!

0:04:04.327,0:04:06.788
Now I'm off to go buy a white van.

0:04:06.788,0:04:11.356
[creepily]: Anyone want some freee goooold?

0:04:11.356,0:04:14.269
[chuckles creepily] Captioned by SpongeSebastian