WEBVTT

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Oh, no! I can't see.
I'm blind. Blind!

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Ha, ha! April Fools'.

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Yeah. Yeah.


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Ha, ha! April Fools'.

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I've been keeping that carton of milk
next to the furnace for six weeks. Sucker! 


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You're goin' down, Homer.
I'm gonna fool you.


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You talk better than you fool.

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I'll fool you up real nice.

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You couldn't fool your mother
on the foolingest day of your life...

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...if you had an electrified fooling machine.

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Ehg!

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Ah, what noble visionary
thought up April Fools' Day?

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Like Halloween and Christmas,
April Fools' Day traces its origins...


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...to pagan ritual.

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God bless those pagans.

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April first used to be the pagan new year.

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Blood for Baal!
Blood for Baal! Blood for Baal!

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The Christians changed their calendar
and ridiculed those who didn't.

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- Happy New Year! 
- Hi-ho, pagans.


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New Year's was three months ago,
but here's a present anyhoo.

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It's ram's blood
for your godless ceremony.

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April Fools'!

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Now who's laughing? Now who's laughing?

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And that's the story of April Fools' Day.

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- Dad, I was telling the story.
- Oh, right.


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Thar she blows. The catch of the day.


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Why, ye mutinous dogs.
From this day, I be requiring hairnets.


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Got to fool him before the day is out.
But how? 


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He must have a weakness.

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Ah, beer, my one weakness.
My Achilles' heel, if you will.


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Beer. Beer is the cheese.
But how to use it? 


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Whoo! It's a good thing
that beer wasn't shaken up any more...

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...or I'd have looked quite the fool,
an April fool, as it were.

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Hey, kid, that's for customers only.

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Uh, did you know there's a guy outside
handing out free Stri-Dex pads?

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- Wow! I'm in pizza-face paradise! 
- Moron.


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Ay! No es bueno.

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So thirsty. Eh, what are you gonna do?

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The following
is a public service announcement.

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Excessive alcohol consumption...


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...can cause liver damage 
and cancer of the rectum.

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Mmm, beer.

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April Foo—

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That sounded like an explosion 
at the old Simpson place.

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Forget it. That's two blocks away.


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Looks like there's beer 
coming out of the chimney.

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I am proceeding on foot.
Call in a code eight.


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We need pretzels. Repeat-- pretzels.