1
00:00:03,350 --> 00:00:05,760
Oh, no! I can't see.
I'm blind. Blind!

2
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:09,240
Ha, ha! April Fools'.

3
00:00:12,972 --> 00:00:14,193
Yeah. Yeah.


4
00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:18,269
Ha, ha! April Fools'.

5
00:00:18,527 --> 00:00:22,527
I've been keeping that carton of milk
next to the furnace for six weeks. Sucker! 


6
00:00:22,684 --> 00:00:25,164
You're goin' down, Homer.
I'm gonna fool you.


7
00:00:25,397 --> 00:00:27,247
You talk better than you fool.

8
00:00:27,378 --> 00:00:29,018
I'll fool you up real nice.

9
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,740
You couldn't fool your mother
on the foolingest day of your life...

10
00:00:31,788 --> 00:00:34,228
...if you had an electrified fooling machine.

11
00:00:35,477 --> 00:00:36,717
Ehg!

12
00:00:39,321 --> 00:00:42,662
Ah, what noble visionary
thought up April Fools' Day?

13
00:00:42,935 --> 00:00:46,405
Like Halloween and Christmas,
April Fools' Day traces its origins...


14
00:00:46,535 --> 00:00:47,725
...to pagan ritual.

15
00:00:47,809 --> 00:00:49,379
God bless those pagans.

16
00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:52,046
April first used to be the pagan new year.

17
00:00:53,812 --> 00:00:59,112
Blood for Baal!
Blood for Baal! Blood for Baal!

18
00:00:59,725 --> 00:01:02,995
The Christians changed their calendar
and ridiculed those who didn't.

19
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:06,030
- Happy New Year! 
- Hi-ho, pagans.


20
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:09,170
New Year's was three months ago,
but here's a present anyhoo.

21
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,650
It's ram's blood
for your godless ceremony.

22
00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:16,287
April Fools'!

23
00:01:20,654 --> 00:01:24,104
Now who's laughing? Now who's laughing?

24
00:01:24,495 --> 00:01:27,075
And that's the story of April Fools' Day.

25
00:01:27,475 --> 00:01:30,525
- Dad, I was telling the story.
- Oh, right.


26
00:01:35,064 --> 00:01:37,514
Thar she blows. The catch of the day.


27
00:01:42,373 --> 00:01:46,823
Why, ye mutinous dogs.
From this day, I be requiring hairnets.


28
00:01:50,956 --> 00:01:54,816
Got to fool him before the day is out.
But how? 


29
00:01:55,273 --> 00:01:57,013
He must have a weakness.

30
00:01:57,222 --> 00:02:01,622
Ah, beer, my one weakness.
My Achilles' heel, if you will.


31
00:02:02,026 --> 00:02:05,556
Beer. Beer is the cheese.
But how to use it? 


32
00:02:08,077 --> 00:02:10,737
Whoo! It's a good thing
that beer wasn't shaken up any more...

33
00:02:11,145 --> 00:02:15,285
...or I'd have looked quite the fool,
an April fool, as it were.

34
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,225
Hey, kid, that's for customers only.

35
00:02:23,505 --> 00:02:26,595
Uh, did you know there's a guy outside
handing out free Stri-Dex pads?

36
00:02:26,728 --> 00:02:30,628
- Wow! I'm in pizza-face paradise! 
- Moron.


37
00:02:44,744 --> 00:02:46,744
Ay! No es bueno.

38
00:02:49,154 --> 00:02:52,155
So thirsty. Eh, what are you gonna do?

39
00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:08,518
The following
is a public service announcement.

40
00:03:08,858 --> 00:03:10,053
Excessive alcohol consumption...


41
00:03:10,053 --> 00:03:13,023
...can cause liver damage 
and cancer of the rectum.

42
00:03:13,764 --> 00:03:15,494
Mmm, beer.

43
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,280
April Foo—

44
00:03:31,209 --> 00:03:33,616
That sounded like an explosion 
at the old Simpson place.

45
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,767
Forget it. That's two blocks away.


46
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:37,847
Looks like there's beer 
coming out of the chimney.

47
00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:40,512
I am proceeding on foot.
Call in a code eight.


48
00:03:41,908 --> 00:03:43,688
We need pretzels. Repeat-- pretzels.