0:00:03.276,0:00:03.896
Stop crying

0:00:03.906,0:00:04.740
Stop with the tears

0:00:04.852,0:00:05.492
Don't cry

0:00:05.492,0:00:06.229
Pick yourself up

0:00:06.229,0:00:07.143
Stop with the emotions

0:00:07.143,0:00:07.912
Don't be a pussy

0:00:07.912,0:00:08.859
Don't let nobody disrespect you

0:00:08.859,0:00:09.656
Be cool

0:00:09.656,0:00:10.702
And be kind of a dick

0:00:10.702,0:00:11.262
Always keep your mouth shut

0:00:11.272,0:00:12.397
Nobody likes a tattle-tale

0:00:12.397,0:00:13.736
Bros come before hoes

0:00:13.736,0:00:15.149
Don't let your woman run your life.

0:00:15.149,0:00:15.759
You're a bitch.

0:00:15.759,0:00:16.645
What a fag.

0:00:16.645,0:00:17.229
Get laid.

0:00:17.229,0:00:17.909
Do something.

0:00:17.909,0:00:18.381
Be a man.

0:00:18.381,0:00:18.868
Be a man!

0:00:18.868,0:00:20.577
Grow some balls!

0:00:26.038,0:00:33.328
The 3 most destructive words that every man receives when he is a boy, is when he's told to be a man.

0:00:33.441,0:00:43.202
We've constructed an idea masculinity in United States that doesn't give young boys a way to feel secure in their masculinity. So, we make them go prove it all the time.

0:00:43.372,0:00:48.211
Within their peer group culture each of them is posturing based on how the other boys are posturing,

0:00:48.241,0:00:53.851
and what they end up missing is what they each really want, which is just that closeness.

0:00:53.958,0:00:57.092
In good times guys are, like, really close to each other,

0:00:57.092,0:01:00.154
but when things get a little bit worse[br]you're on your own.

0:01:00.154,0:01:02.749
From middle school I had four really close friends.

0:01:02.749,0:01:08.642
Once I went kind of went into high school, I struggled finding people I can talk to because I feel like I'm not supposed to get help.

0:01:08.642,0:01:14.105
Our kids get up every morning. They have to prepare their mask for how they're going to walk to school.

0:01:14.105,0:01:16.326
A lot of us don't know how to take the mask off.

0:01:16.326,0:01:17.808
What is it you don't let people see?

0:01:17.808,0:01:23.711
Almost 90% of you have pain and anger [br]on the back of that paper.

0:01:23.711,0:01:29.161
If you never cry then you have all these feelings stuffed up inside of you, and then you can't get them out.

0:01:29.161,0:01:34.908
They really buy into a culture that doesn't value what we feminized. If we're in a culture that doesn't value caring,

0:01:35.092,0:01:42.629
doesn't value relationships, doesn't value empathy, you are going to have boys and girls, men and women go crazy.

0:01:42.676,0:01:45.750
I had anger issues in high school. I felt like an outcast.

0:01:46.011,0:01:49.908
I've been suspended at least once[br]every year I was here.

0:01:49.908,0:01:52.397
We would just look for trouble and just like, try to fight.

0:01:52.397,0:02:02.703
Boys are more likely to act out, they're more likely to become aggressive. Most people miss that as depression, or see it as a conduct disorder, or just a bad kid.

0:02:05.819,0:02:11.804
I felt like just giving up on life, you know, see I had suicide thoughts in my head in sixth grade.

0:02:11.804,0:02:17.506
I felt alone for, for a long time,[br]and I actually thought about killing myself.

0:02:20.540,0:02:32.713
Whether it's homicidal violence, or suicidal violence, people resort to such desperate behavior, only when they are feeling shamed and humiliated, or feel they would be if they didn't prove that they were real men.

0:02:32.713,0:02:41.225
If you're told from day one 'don't let nobody disrespect you', and 'this is the way you handle it as a man', respect is linked to violence.

0:02:41.225,0:02:45.128
If I can man up, why step down from that, you feel me?

0:02:45.128,0:02:46.359
It's like instinct.

0:02:50.735,0:02:51.461
So man up!

0:02:51.461,0:02:51.902
Man up.

0:02:51.902,0:02:52.364
Man up.

0:02:52.364,0:02:52.656
Man up.

0:02:52.656,0:02:53.993
Grow some fucking balls!

0:02:53.993,0:02:55.240
Act like a man. Be a man.

0:02:55.532,0:02:56.953
Be a man!

0:02:56.953,0:03:02.389
For my kids, I was gonna end this hyper masculine narrative here.