1
00:00:09,152 --> 00:00:16,944
Thich Nhat Hanh risponde alle domande

2
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,020
Dear Thay, dear Sangha

3
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,285
(SPANISH)
At times I control
a lot of anger coming up.

4
00:00:39,285 --> 00:00:43,469
I keep it inside, but then
it suddenly explodes.

5
00:00:43,475 --> 00:00:45,178
I let it all out at once,

6
00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:49,757
without knowing why and without
being able to control it at that time.

7
00:00:49,757 --> 00:00:51,760
When all my anger explodes

8
00:00:53,573 --> 00:00:58,089
I hurt the other person
and also myself a lot.

9
00:00:59,577 --> 00:01:04,869
And then I do not have compassion
for the other, because I'm not aware of it.

10
00:01:06,397 --> 00:01:12,860
After I have calmed down and
my anger has exploded and I let it out.

11
00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:17,070
then I have compassion
and I am aware that I made him suffer.

12
00:01:17,098 --> 00:01:20,159
But in the moment I do it,
I cannot do anything.

13
00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:22,129
How can I do this?

14
00:01:24,672 --> 00:01:27,213
Dear Thay, our friend is saying...

15
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:30,099
This is another question about anger.

16
00:01:30,099 --> 00:01:33,595
She feels a lot of anger come up sometimes.

17
00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:36,760
and she doesn't want to let it come out.

18
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:41,176
So she tries to keep it under control,
she's pushing it down.

19
00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:44,498
But then, at some point
it explodes, it comes out

20
00:01:45,693 --> 00:01:48,489
and she can hurt the other person.

21
00:01:48,489 --> 00:01:50,882
She feels sorry to hurt the other person.

22
00:01:50,882 --> 00:01:54,739
She feels compassion for
the suffering she caused him.

23
00:01:54,959 --> 00:02:00,227
And she wants to know how she can
take better care of the situation.

24
00:02:02,669 --> 00:02:07,080
Is she capable of seeing the
suffering of the other person?

25
00:02:09,592 --> 00:02:14,590
(FRENCH)
Can she see the suffering
in the other person?

26
00:02:15,681 --> 00:02:16,448
And when?

27
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:20,386
Before or after the explosion?

28
00:02:40,613 --> 00:02:42,685
I do see their suffering

29
00:02:42,685 --> 00:02:46,817
but I still have the strong emotion
come up.

30
00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,830
What can I do with it?

31
00:02:56,037 --> 00:02:57,987
To control is not enough.

32
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,749
To control may be to suppress.

33
00:03:03,561 --> 00:03:05,505
Suppressing is not good,

34
00:03:06,256 --> 00:03:10,200
because it is always there,
you pin it down

35
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,161
but it is still there.

36
00:03:12,677 --> 00:03:15,816
So suppressing is not good.

37
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:19,026
We have to transform.

38
00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:27,822
And to transform you need compassion.

39
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,171
The only antidote for anger,
violence is compassion.

40
00:03:37,424 --> 00:03:39,406
There is no other way.

41
00:03:40,368 --> 00:03:43,512
But how to fabricate compassion?

42
00:03:44,486 --> 00:03:47,110
How to generate the energy of compassion?

43
00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:49,264
That is the real question.

44
00:03:50,261 --> 00:03:56,950
And in this retreat we have learnt
to recognize the suffering?

45
00:03:59,318 --> 00:04:01,861
Because the suffering in that person is

46
00:04:01,868 --> 00:04:07,987
the cause of his action
or of words that can make you suffer.

47
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:14,922
The anger in him waters
the anger in you.

48
00:04:16,845 --> 00:04:22,691
The violence in him waters
the violence in you.

49
00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:32,120
And that is why...we have
to breathe in and out mindfully

50
00:04:32,611 --> 00:04:40,291
and to look, to see
that the other person is a victim

51
00:04:40,317 --> 00:04:46,288
of his own violence, his own suffering,
his own misunderstanding.

52
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,592
This is very important.

53
00:04:49,768 --> 00:04:52,162
This is the teaching of the Buddha:

54
00:04:52,676 --> 00:04:56,038
look at suffering and
understand suffering.

55
00:04:58,119 --> 00:05:00,971
When you understand your own suffering

56
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,023
you can understand the suffering of 
the other person.

57
00:05:06,158 --> 00:05:09,436
Understanding suffering always
brings compassion.

58
00:05:09,436 --> 00:05:14,816
And only compassion can
transform anger and violence.

59
00:05:19,009 --> 00:05:23,581
There are those of us
who think that we can...

60
00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:28,958
we can take the block of anger out of us,

61
00:05:30,243 --> 00:05:33,191
like doing surgery.

62
00:05:37,929 --> 00:05:40,264
But you cannot do that with anger.

63
00:05:40,264 --> 00:05:43,303
You cannot take anger out of you.

64
00:05:45,392 --> 00:05:47,714
You can only transform it.

65
00:05:48,157 --> 00:05:52,239
Anger can be transformed within
into something else.

66
00:05:52,239 --> 00:05:55,889
Anger can be transformed into 
understanding and compassion

67
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:59,181
And that is the work of the practitioner:

68
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,720
looking into the suffering,

69
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,576
your own suffering and
the suffering of the other person,

70
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,282
and trying to understand the cause.

71
00:06:11,890 --> 00:06:17,485
That is the way to generate
the energy of compassion.

72
00:06:19,395 --> 00:06:22,760
And when compassion is there
it transforms anger.

73
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,866
You don't need to take it out.

74
00:06:29,317 --> 00:06:32,170
There are those who try to take it out.

75
00:06:33,842 --> 00:06:36,451
There are those who advise you to

76
00:06:36,451 --> 00:06:40,953
take it out by the practice of
so-called 'ventilation'.

77
00:06:43,196 --> 00:06:46,116
It is like there is smoke in your room

78
00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:49,940
and you want to ventilate the 
smoke to take it out.

79
00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:56,330
And the way is to go to your room 
and lock your door

80
00:06:57,242 --> 00:07:01,777
and to try to punch,
to hit your pillow,

81
00:07:05,516 --> 00:07:09,477
to hit for ten minutes,
fifteen minutes.

82
00:07:10,992 --> 00:07:18,830
And they believe that by doing so
you may take anger out of you.

83
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,569
'I am aware that anger is there.'

84
00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:25,414
'I want to take it out.'

85
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:30,675
Because they think it is safer 
to hit a pillow

86
00:07:30,675 --> 00:07:33,880
then to hit the other person directly.

87
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,406
And they call it
'take it out of your system'.

88
00:07:39,573 --> 00:07:41,216
But it does not work.

89
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:44,448
It does not work.

90
00:07:45,442 --> 00:07:48,118
It may make your anger stronger.

91
00:07:50,287 --> 00:07:53,467
It is like rehearsing your anger.

92
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:02,524
And they call it 'getting in touch with 
your anger'.

93
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:07,081
It's good to get in touch with your anger.

94
00:08:07,081 --> 00:08:11,367
The Buddha also advises us to breathe in

95
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,680
and to go home and
to get in touch with your anger

96
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,684
and embrace it tenderly
and look deeply into your anger.

97
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:30,521
But in this practice of... 
pounding... the pillow

98
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:35,802
you don't really get
in touch with your anger.

99
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:41,442
You are a victim of your anger.

100
00:08:41,741 --> 00:08:43,751
You are not getting in touch.

101
00:08:44,755 --> 00:08:47,240
You are not even in touch with the pillow...

102
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,449
(Crowd laughs)

103
00:08:50,449 --> 00:08:52,720
even though you are hitting it,

104
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:56,906
because if you are really in touch
with your pillow,

105
00:08:56,906 --> 00:08:59,175
you will know that
it is only a pillow.

106
00:08:59,178 --> 00:09:01,919
(Crowd laughs)

107
00:09:01,919 --> 00:09:04,121
It's funny to hit a pillow.

108
00:09:04,121 --> 00:09:05,754
The pillow is innocent.

109
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:06,964
(Crowd laughs)

110
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:09,486
So if you cannot get in touch 
with the pillow

111
00:09:09,486 --> 00:09:12,206
you cannot get in touch with your anger.

112
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,772
And if you continue like that

113
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:19,998
maybe one day, meeting him on 
the street, you may like to...

114
00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:23,344
hit directly and you get in jail.

115
00:09:24,239 --> 00:09:29,921
So this work does not seem
to help you to get it out.

116
00:09:32,521 --> 00:09:34,865
So according to this practice,

117
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:39,754
the practice that the Buddha recommends,

118
00:09:40,129 --> 00:09:44,044
you have to come home and recognize anger

119
00:09:44,044 --> 00:09:47,023
and try to hold it with the energy 
of mindfulness.

120
00:09:47,023 --> 00:09:49,694
This is called mindfulness of anger.

121
00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:53,048
Mindfulness is always
mindfulness of something.

122
00:09:53,652 --> 00:10:04,338
When I drink my tea and become aware
that I am here and now drinking my tea

123
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,782
that is mindfulness of drinking.

124
00:10:08,257 --> 00:10:12,430
And when I breathe mindfully,
that is mindfulness of breathing.

125
00:10:12,769 --> 00:10:16,788
When I walk mindfully,
that is mindfulness of walking.

126
00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:21,741
So when I come home to myself
and recognize my anger and hold my anger

127
00:10:21,741 --> 00:10:25,080
anger becomes the object 
of my mindfulness.

128
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,839
This is called mindfulness of anger

129
00:10:27,839 --> 00:10:30,297
There are two energies.

130
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:33,205
First there is the energy of anger.

131
00:10:33,205 --> 00:10:37,110
Then the second energy is the 
energy of mindfulness.

132
00:10:37,891 --> 00:10:39,973
In order to have this energy

133
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,407
you have to practice breathing 
and walking mindfully.

134
00:10:43,407 --> 00:10:49,992
And with the second energy, you recognize
the first energy and embrace it tenderly.

135
00:10:50,004 --> 00:10:51,740
You do not suppress it

136
00:10:57,361 --> 00:11:01,250
but embrace it tenderly,

137
00:11:01,629 --> 00:11:04,100
like a mother embracing her...

138
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,960
her suffering...baby.

139
00:11:11,864 --> 00:11:16,295
And when the energy of mindfulness
is embracing the energy of anger,

140
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:17,698
you suffer less.

141
00:11:19,931 --> 00:11:24,662
It is like the sunshine
embracing the lotus flower.

142
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:30,326
The lotus flower gets the warmth
the energy, in order to bloom.

143
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:37,700
So when you use the energy of mindfulness
in order to embrace your anger

144
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,283
you suffer less,
you get a relief.

145
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,415
You suffer less.

146
00:11:42,643 --> 00:11:47,988
And if you look more deeply
you can identify the cause of your anger.

147
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,505
That may be a wrong perception.

148
00:11:51,505 --> 00:11:56,557
That may be your lack of capacity to
see the suffering of the other person.

149
00:11:57,622 --> 00:12:01,360
And if you identify your wrong perception

150
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,279
or if you can see the suffering 
of the other person

151
00:12:05,148 --> 00:12:10,756
suddenly that kind of understanding
and vision makes compassion arise.

152
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:13,858
And when compassion arises,

153
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:18,127
that is a kind of nectar that
makes you suffer less right away.

154
00:12:18,127 --> 00:12:19,526
You get a relief.

155
00:12:19,526 --> 00:12:21,488
And you can transform it.

156
00:12:24,971 --> 00:12:26,318
And...

157
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,617
This...

158
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:34,351
This practice always works.

159
00:12:36,402 --> 00:12:41,506
You know that in Plum Village,
in the past we used to sponsor

160
00:12:41,506 --> 00:12:46,063
groups of Palestinans and Israelis
to come and practice.

161
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:53,260
And there is a lot of misunderstanding,
anger and suspicion in each group.

162
00:12:57,981 --> 00:13:03,913
And if they can stay for two weeks,
transformation and healing can be possible.

163
00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:10,318
We practice calming, releasing tension.

164
00:13:11,205 --> 00:13:16,070
We practice getting in touch with
the wonders of life in order to nourish us.

165
00:13:17,402 --> 00:13:20,207
And we also practicing breathing

166
00:13:20,404 --> 00:13:25,507
in order to recognize our suspicion,
our fear, our anger.

167
00:13:28,535 --> 00:13:34,091
And then we sit down and try
to listen to each other

168
00:13:37,215 --> 00:13:42,081
And we tell the other group about
our own suffering, our own fear.

169
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:47,939
We use the practice of
the fourth mindfulness training:

170
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,950
Loving Speech and Deep Listening.

171
00:13:54,444 --> 00:13:58,015
You can tell them
everything in your heart:

172
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,903
your suffering, your fear, your anger.

173
00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:07,468
But you tell it in such a way that
the other person, the other group

174
00:14:07,468 --> 00:14:08,813
can understand you.

175
00:14:08,813 --> 00:14:10,716
Help them to understand.

176
00:14:12,044 --> 00:14:18,204
So during the time you speak,
you do not condemn, you do not blame.

177
00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:25,317
You just try to help them to understand
how much you suffer,

178
00:14:26,163 --> 00:14:29,061
you and your people and your children.

179
00:14:30,052 --> 00:14:33,141
In that way you help them to
understand your suffering.

180
00:14:36,282 --> 00:14:42,745
And then it will be your turn to sit
and listen to their suffering.

181
00:14:43,908 --> 00:14:45,571
They will tell you

182
00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:50,088
their suffering, their fear,
their anger, their despair.

183
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:52,095
And you have to listen.

184
00:14:53,732 --> 00:14:56,883
And during the time they speak

185
00:14:56,883 --> 00:15:00,928
you may notice that they have
wrong perceptions of you.

186
00:15:05,463 --> 00:15:07,901
And you want to correct them.

187
00:15:08,563 --> 00:15:12,277
But according to this practice
you should not correct them.

188
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,621
Because if you correct them
while they speak

189
00:15:15,621 --> 00:15:18,802
you will transform
the session into a debate.

190
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:23,724
That's not the practice of deep listening.

191
00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:24,650
You say:

192
00:15:24,868 --> 00:15:29,600
"Oh, they say wrong things because
they have not seen the truth.

193
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:33,284
But I have the time to help them

194
00:15:33,284 --> 00:15:37,575
to correct their perceptions
in a few days,

195
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:41,101
because they will be
there for another week.

196
00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:45,464
So in a few days we will have
a chance to tell them,

197
00:15:45,473 --> 00:15:48,894
to give them the kind of
information that can help them

198
00:15:48,894 --> 00:15:50,832
to correct their perceptions.

199
00:15:50,832 --> 00:15:51,844
But not now.

200
00:15:51,844 --> 00:15:56,813
Now we have to listen,

201
00:15:58,964 --> 00:16:00,963
listen attentively."

202
00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:04,925
Listening like this is called
'compassionate listening'.

203
00:16:06,754 --> 00:16:10,708
And if you know how to listen
with compassion for one hour,

204
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,454
they will suffer less.

205
00:16:13,284 --> 00:16:15,500
So we are practicing compassion.

206
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,788
We are giving them
a chance to suffer less.

207
00:16:22,118 --> 00:16:25,902
And that is the practice of the
fourth mindfulness training:

208
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:30,604
listening with compassion in order
to help other people to suffer less.

209
00:16:30,611 --> 00:16:33,803
You may do it with your husband, your wife

210
00:16:33,803 --> 00:16:38,419
with your son, with your daughter,
with your father or mother.

211
00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:45,666
And listen so that they have
a chance to empty their heart.

212
00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:48,226
That is compassion.

213
00:16:50,228 --> 00:16:58,820
And after a week of practice we are able
to remove many wrong perceptions.

214
00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:02,886
We increase our mutual understanding.

215
00:17:02,886 --> 00:17:05,364
And the two groups can sit down,

216
00:17:06,555 --> 00:17:13,396
can hold hands to do walking meditation,
and share a meal together.

217
00:17:15,919 --> 00:17:18,987
Brotherhood, sisterhood is born.

218
00:17:20,848 --> 00:17:23,671
So this is a very important practice.

219
00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:28,621
And...

220
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:34,089
We believe that politicians
have to learn this practice.

221
00:17:35,841 --> 00:17:38,749
When they come to a peace negotiation,

222
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,794
they should follow
the instructions of calming,

223
00:17:44,123 --> 00:17:45,488
releasing,

224
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,249
recognizing suffering inside,

225
00:17:49,249 --> 00:17:52,540
recognizing the suffering in
the other person.

226
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:56,963
And if they spent one or two weeks
practicing like that,

227
00:17:57,402 --> 00:18:00,604
their negotiations for peace
will be fruitful.

228
00:18:03,726 --> 00:18:07,496
And I think that in schools
of political science

229
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,930
students have to learn
this kind of practice.

230
00:18:11,930 --> 00:18:15,650
They don't need to be a Buddhist
in order to learn it.

231
00:18:15,998 --> 00:18:21,341
This is applied ethics that can be
taught in every kind of school,

232
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,465
including elementary school.

233
00:18:24,910 --> 00:18:28,200
Because children can learn the practice

234
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,127
and reconcile with
their brothers and sisters

235
00:18:31,127 --> 00:18:33,077
and reconcile with their parents

236
00:18:33,077 --> 00:18:35,617
and even help their parents.

237
00:18:36,309 --> 00:18:40,039
They are many retreats organized
for young people, children.

238
00:18:40,057 --> 00:18:44,267
And the children are transformed
when they are able to see

239
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:47,570
the suffering in their father,
in their mother.

240
00:18:47,570 --> 00:18:49,847
And they come home after the retreat,

241
00:18:49,847 --> 00:18:52,248
listen to their father and their mother

242
00:18:52,248 --> 00:18:54,345
and help them to suffer less.

243
00:18:54,708 --> 00:18:56,034
It's a miracle

244
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,566
It always happens in our retreats.

245
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:22,025
(Bell)