0:00:09.152,0:00:16.944 Thich Nhat Hanh risponde alle domande 0:00:27.236,0:00:29.020 Dear Thay, dear Sangha 0:00:35.600,0:00:39.285 (SPANISH)[br]At times I control[br]a lot of anger coming up. 0:00:39.285,0:00:43.469 I keep it inside, but then[br]it suddenly explodes. 0:00:43.475,0:00:45.178 I let it all out at once, 0:00:45.178,0:00:49.757 without knowing why and without[br]being able to control it at that time. 0:00:49.757,0:00:51.760 When all my anger explodes 0:00:53.573,0:00:58.089 I hurt the other person[br]and also myself a lot. 0:00:59.577,0:01:04.869 And then I do not have compassion[br]for the other, because I'm not aware of it. 0:01:06.397,0:01:12.860 After I have calmed down and[br]my anger has exploded and I let it out. 0:01:13.470,0:01:17.070 then I have compassion[br]and I am aware that I made him suffer. 0:01:17.098,0:01:20.159 But in the moment I do it,[br]I cannot do anything. 0:01:20.479,0:01:22.129 How can I do this? 0:01:24.672,0:01:27.213 Dear Thay, our friend is saying... 0:01:27.213,0:01:30.099 This is another question about anger. 0:01:30.099,0:01:33.595 She feels a lot of anger come up sometimes. 0:01:33.601,0:01:36.760 and she doesn't want to let it come out. 0:01:36.760,0:01:41.176 So she tries to keep it under control,[br]she's pushing it down. 0:01:41.176,0:01:44.498 But then, at some point[br]it explodes, it comes out 0:01:45.693,0:01:48.489 and she can hurt the other person. 0:01:48.489,0:01:50.882 She feels sorry to hurt the other person. 0:01:50.882,0:01:54.739 She feels compassion for[br]the suffering she caused him. 0:01:54.959,0:02:00.227 And she wants to know how she can[br]take better care of the situation. 0:02:02.669,0:02:07.080 Is she capable of seeing the[br]suffering of the other person? 0:02:09.592,0:02:14.590 (FRENCH)[br]Can she see the suffering[br]in the other person? 0:02:15.681,0:02:16.448 And when? 0:02:17.370,0:02:20.386 Before or after the explosion? 0:02:40.613,0:02:42.685 I do see their suffering 0:02:42.685,0:02:46.817 but I still have the strong emotion[br]come up. 0:02:46.830,0:02:48.830 What can I do with it? 0:02:56.037,0:02:57.987 To control is not enough. 0:02:59.240,0:03:02.749 To control may be to suppress. 0:03:03.561,0:03:05.505 Suppressing is not good, 0:03:06.256,0:03:10.200 because it is always there,[br]you pin it down 0:03:10.200,0:03:12.161 but it is still there. 0:03:12.677,0:03:15.816 So suppressing is not good. 0:03:16.922,0:03:19.026 We have to transform. 0:03:23.212,0:03:27.822 And to transform you need compassion. 0:03:30.320,0:03:35.171 The only antidote for anger,[br]violence is compassion. 0:03:37.424,0:03:39.406 There is no other way. 0:03:40.368,0:03:43.512 But how to fabricate compassion? 0:03:44.486,0:03:47.110 How to generate the energy of compassion? 0:03:47.110,0:03:49.264 That is the real question. 0:03:50.261,0:03:56.950 And in this retreat we have learnt[br]to recognize the suffering? 0:03:59.318,0:04:01.861 Because the suffering in that person is 0:04:01.868,0:04:07.987 the cause of his action[br]or of words that can make you suffer. 0:04:10.560,0:04:14.922 The anger in him waters[br]the anger in you. 0:04:16.845,0:04:22.691 The violence in him waters[br]the violence in you. 0:04:25.540,0:04:32.120 And that is why...we have[br]to breathe in and out mindfully 0:04:32.611,0:04:40.291 and to look, to see[br]that the other person is a victim 0:04:40.317,0:04:46.288 of his own violence, his own suffering,[br]his own misunderstanding. 0:04:46.820,0:04:48.592 This is very important. 0:04:49.768,0:04:52.162 This is the teaching of the Buddha: 0:04:52.676,0:04:56.038 look at suffering and[br]understand suffering. 0:04:58.119,0:05:00.971 When you understand your own suffering 0:05:01.200,0:05:05.023 you can understand the suffering of [br]the other person. 0:05:06.158,0:05:09.436 Understanding suffering always[br]brings compassion. 0:05:09.436,0:05:14.816 And only compassion can[br]transform anger and violence. 0:05:19.009,0:05:23.581 There are those of us[br]who think that we can... 0:05:25.351,0:05:28.958 we can take the block of anger out of us, 0:05:30.243,0:05:33.191 like doing surgery. 0:05:37.929,0:05:40.264 But you cannot do that with anger. 0:05:40.264,0:05:43.303 You cannot take anger out of you. 0:05:45.392,0:05:47.714 You can only transform it. 0:05:48.157,0:05:52.239 Anger can be transformed within[br]into something else. 0:05:52.239,0:05:55.889 Anger can be transformed into [br]understanding and compassion 0:05:56.530,0:05:59.181 And that is the work of the practitioner: 0:06:01.961,0:06:03.720 looking into the suffering, 0:06:03.720,0:06:07.576 your own suffering and[br]the suffering of the other person, 0:06:07.576,0:06:10.282 and trying to understand the cause. 0:06:11.890,0:06:17.485 That is the way to generate[br]the energy of compassion. 0:06:19.395,0:06:22.760 And when compassion is there[br]it transforms anger. 0:06:23.960,0:06:26.866 You don't need to take it out. 0:06:29.317,0:06:32.170 There are those who try to take it out. 0:06:33.842,0:06:36.451 There are those who advise you to 0:06:36.451,0:06:40.953 take it out by the practice of[br]so-called 'ventilation'. 0:06:43.196,0:06:46.116 It is like there is smoke in your room 0:06:46.116,0:06:49.940 and you want to ventilate the [br]smoke to take it out. 0:06:50.481,0:06:56.330 And the way is to go to your room [br]and lock your door 0:06:57.242,0:07:01.777 and to try to punch,[br]to hit your pillow, 0:07:05.516,0:07:09.477 to hit for ten minutes,[br]fifteen minutes. 0:07:10.992,0:07:18.830 And they believe that by doing so[br]you may take anger out of you. 0:07:21.107,0:07:23.569 'I am aware that anger is there.' 0:07:23.569,0:07:25.414 'I want to take it out.' 0:07:27.458,0:07:30.675 Because they think it is safer [br]to hit a pillow 0:07:30.675,0:07:33.880 then to hit the other person directly. 0:07:33.880,0:07:37.406 And they call it[br]'take it out of your system'. 0:07:39.573,0:07:41.216 But it does not work. 0:07:43.050,0:07:44.448 It does not work. 0:07:45.442,0:07:48.118 It may make your anger stronger. 0:07:50.287,0:07:53.467 It is like rehearsing your anger. 0:07:58.608,0:08:02.524 And they call it 'getting in touch with [br]your anger'. 0:08:03.634,0:08:07.081 It's good to get in touch with your anger. 0:08:07.081,0:08:11.367 The Buddha also advises us to breathe in 0:08:12.200,0:08:15.680 and to go home and[br]to get in touch with your anger 0:08:16.760,0:08:21.684 and embrace it tenderly[br]and look deeply into your anger. 0:08:23.962,0:08:30.521 But in this practice of... [br]pounding... the pillow 0:08:32.433,0:08:35.802 you don't really get[br]in touch with your anger. 0:08:39.123,0:08:41.442 You are a victim of your anger. 0:08:41.741,0:08:43.751 You are not getting in touch. 0:08:44.755,0:08:47.240 You are not even in touch with the pillow... 0:08:47.240,0:08:50.449 (Crowd laughs) 0:08:50.449,0:08:52.720 even though you are hitting it, 0:08:52.720,0:08:56.906 because if you are really in touch[br]with your pillow, 0:08:56.906,0:08:59.175 you will know that[br]it is only a pillow. 0:08:59.178,0:09:01.919 (Crowd laughs) 0:09:01.919,0:09:04.121 It's funny to hit a pillow. 0:09:04.121,0:09:05.754 The pillow is innocent. 0:09:05.754,0:09:06.964 (Crowd laughs) 0:09:06.964,0:09:09.486 So if you cannot get in touch [br]with the pillow 0:09:09.486,0:09:12.206 you cannot get in touch with your anger. 0:09:14.205,0:09:15.772 And if you continue like that 0:09:15.772,0:09:19.998 maybe one day, meeting him on [br]the street, you may like to... 0:09:21.183,0:09:23.344 hit directly and you get in jail. 0:09:24.239,0:09:29.921 So this work does not seem[br]to help you to get it out. 0:09:32.521,0:09:34.865 So according to this practice, 0:09:35.675,0:09:39.754 the practice that the Buddha recommends, 0:09:40.129,0:09:44.044 you have to come home and recognize anger 0:09:44.044,0:09:47.023 and try to hold it with the energy [br]of mindfulness. 0:09:47.023,0:09:49.694 This is called mindfulness of anger. 0:09:49.779,0:09:53.048 Mindfulness is always[br]mindfulness of something. 0:09:53.652,0:10:04.338 When I drink my tea and become aware[br]that I am here and now drinking my tea 0:10:04.804,0:10:06.782 that is mindfulness of drinking. 0:10:08.257,0:10:12.430 And when I breathe mindfully,[br]that is mindfulness of breathing. 0:10:12.769,0:10:16.788 When I walk mindfully,[br]that is mindfulness of walking. 0:10:16.788,0:10:21.741 So when I come home to myself[br]and recognize my anger and hold my anger 0:10:21.741,0:10:25.080 anger becomes the object [br]of my mindfulness. 0:10:25.080,0:10:27.839 This is called mindfulness of anger 0:10:27.839,0:10:30.297 There are two energies. 0:10:30.297,0:10:33.205 First there is the energy of anger. 0:10:33.205,0:10:37.110 Then the second energy is the [br]energy of mindfulness. 0:10:37.891,0:10:39.973 In order to have this energy 0:10:39.973,0:10:43.407 you have to practice breathing [br]and walking mindfully. 0:10:43.407,0:10:49.992 And with the second energy, you recognize[br]the first energy and embrace it tenderly. 0:10:50.004,0:10:51.740 You do not suppress it 0:10:57.361,0:11:01.250 but embrace it tenderly, 0:11:01.629,0:11:04.100 like a mother embracing her... 0:11:06.540,0:11:08.960 her suffering...baby. 0:11:11.864,0:11:16.295 And when the energy of mindfulness[br]is embracing the energy of anger, 0:11:16.310,0:11:17.698 you suffer less. 0:11:19.931,0:11:24.662 It is like the sunshine[br]embracing the lotus flower. 0:11:25.384,0:11:30.326 The lotus flower gets the warmth[br]the energy, in order to bloom. 0:11:32.400,0:11:37.700 So when you use the energy of mindfulness[br]in order to embrace your anger 0:11:38.080,0:11:40.283 you suffer less,[br]you get a relief. 0:11:40.283,0:11:41.415 You suffer less. 0:11:42.643,0:11:47.988 And if you look more deeply[br]you can identify the cause of your anger. 0:11:49.380,0:11:51.505 That may be a wrong perception. 0:11:51.505,0:11:56.557 That may be your lack of capacity to[br]see the suffering of the other person. 0:11:57.622,0:12:01.360 And if you identify your wrong perception 0:12:01.360,0:12:04.279 or if you can see the suffering [br]of the other person 0:12:05.148,0:12:10.756 suddenly that kind of understanding[br]and vision makes compassion arise. 0:12:12.091,0:12:13.858 And when compassion arises, 0:12:13.858,0:12:18.127 that is a kind of nectar that[br]makes you suffer less right away. 0:12:18.127,0:12:19.526 You get a relief. 0:12:19.526,0:12:21.488 And you can transform it. 0:12:24.971,0:12:26.318 And... 0:12:28.080,0:12:29.617 This... 0:12:31.554,0:12:34.351 This practice always works. 0:12:36.402,0:12:41.506 You know that in Plum Village,[br]in the past we used to sponsor 0:12:41.506,0:12:46.063 groups of Palestinans and Israelis[br]to come and practice. 0:12:47.840,0:12:53.260 And there is a lot of misunderstanding,[br]anger and suspicion in each group. 0:12:57.981,0:13:03.913 And if they can stay for two weeks,[br]transformation and healing can be possible. 0:13:05.578,0:13:10.318 We practice calming, releasing tension. 0:13:11.205,0:13:16.070 We practice getting in touch with[br]the wonders of life in order to nourish us. 0:13:17.402,0:13:20.207 And we also practicing breathing 0:13:20.404,0:13:25.507 in order to recognize our suspicion,[br]our fear, our anger. 0:13:28.535,0:13:34.091 And then we sit down and try[br]to listen to each other 0:13:37.215,0:13:42.081 And we tell the other group about[br]our own suffering, our own fear. 0:13:43.523,0:13:47.939 We use the practice of[br]the fourth mindfulness training: 0:13:48.920,0:13:51.950 Loving Speech and Deep Listening. 0:13:54.444,0:13:58.015 You can tell them[br]everything in your heart: 0:13:58.796,0:14:01.903 your suffering, your fear, your anger. 0:14:03.459,0:14:07.468 But you tell it in such a way that[br]the other person, the other group 0:14:07.468,0:14:08.813 can understand you. 0:14:08.813,0:14:10.716 Help them to understand. 0:14:12.044,0:14:18.204 So during the time you speak,[br]you do not condemn, you do not blame. 0:14:21.312,0:14:25.317 You just try to help them to understand[br]how much you suffer, 0:14:26.163,0:14:29.061 you and your people and your children. 0:14:30.052,0:14:33.141 In that way you help them to[br]understand your suffering. 0:14:36.282,0:14:42.745 And then it will be your turn to sit[br]and listen to their suffering. 0:14:43.908,0:14:45.571 They will tell you 0:14:46.368,0:14:50.088 their suffering, their fear,[br]their anger, their despair. 0:14:50.088,0:14:52.095 And you have to listen. 0:14:53.732,0:14:56.883 And during the time they speak 0:14:56.883,0:15:00.928 you may notice that they have[br]wrong perceptions of you. 0:15:05.463,0:15:07.901 And you want to correct them. 0:15:08.563,0:15:12.277 But according to this practice[br]you should not correct them. 0:15:12.680,0:15:15.621 Because if you correct them[br]while they speak 0:15:15.621,0:15:18.802 you will transform[br]the session into a debate. 0:15:20.540,0:15:23.724 That's not the practice of deep listening. 0:15:23.724,0:15:24.650 You say: 0:15:24.868,0:15:29.600 "Oh, they say wrong things because[br]they have not seen the truth. 0:15:30.364,0:15:33.284 But I have the time to help them 0:15:33.284,0:15:37.575 to correct their perceptions[br]in a few days, 0:15:37.903,0:15:41.101 because they will be[br]there for another week. 0:15:42.043,0:15:45.464 So in a few days we will have[br]a chance to tell them, 0:15:45.473,0:15:48.894 to give them the kind of[br]information that can help them 0:15:48.894,0:15:50.832 to correct their perceptions. 0:15:50.832,0:15:51.844 But not now. 0:15:51.844,0:15:56.813 Now we have to listen, 0:15:58.964,0:16:00.963 listen attentively." 0:16:00.963,0:16:04.925 Listening like this is called[br]'compassionate listening'. 0:16:06.754,0:16:10.708 And if you know how to listen[br]with compassion for one hour, 0:16:10.708,0:16:12.454 they will suffer less. 0:16:13.284,0:16:15.500 So we are practicing compassion. 0:16:15.500,0:16:18.788 We are giving them[br]a chance to suffer less. 0:16:22.118,0:16:25.902 And that is the practice of the[br]fourth mindfulness training: 0:16:25.902,0:16:30.604 listening with compassion in order[br]to help other people to suffer less. 0:16:30.611,0:16:33.803 You may do it with your husband, your wife 0:16:33.803,0:16:38.419 with your son, with your daughter,[br]with your father or mother. 0:16:39.062,0:16:45.666 And listen so that they have[br]a chance to empty their heart. 0:16:46.517,0:16:48.226 That is compassion. 0:16:50.228,0:16:58.820 And after a week of practice we are able[br]to remove many wrong perceptions. 0:17:00.030,0:17:02.886 We increase our mutual understanding. 0:17:02.886,0:17:05.364 And the two groups can sit down, 0:17:06.555,0:17:13.396 can hold hands to do walking meditation,[br]and share a meal together. 0:17:15.919,0:17:18.987 Brotherhood, sisterhood is born. 0:17:20.848,0:17:23.671 So this is a very important practice. 0:17:27.377,0:17:28.621 And... 0:17:30.060,0:17:34.089 We believe that politicians[br]have to learn this practice. 0:17:35.841,0:17:38.749 When they come to a peace negotiation, 0:17:39.280,0:17:41.794 they should follow[br]the instructions of calming, 0:17:44.123,0:17:45.488 releasing, 0:17:46.800,0:17:49.249 recognizing suffering inside, 0:17:49.249,0:17:52.540 recognizing the suffering in[br]the other person. 0:17:52.705,0:17:56.963 And if they spent one or two weeks[br]practicing like that, 0:17:57.402,0:18:00.604 their negotiations for peace[br]will be fruitful. 0:18:03.726,0:18:07.496 And I think that in schools[br]of political science 0:18:08.640,0:18:11.930 students have to learn[br]this kind of practice. 0:18:11.930,0:18:15.650 They don't need to be a Buddhist[br]in order to learn it. 0:18:15.998,0:18:21.341 This is applied ethics that can be[br]taught in every kind of school, 0:18:21.534,0:18:23.465 including elementary school. 0:18:24.910,0:18:28.200 Because children can learn the practice 0:18:28.200,0:18:31.127 and reconcile with[br]their brothers and sisters 0:18:31.127,0:18:33.077 and reconcile with their parents 0:18:33.077,0:18:35.617 and even help their parents. 0:18:36.309,0:18:40.039 They are many retreats organized[br]for young people, children. 0:18:40.057,0:18:44.267 And the children are transformed[br]when they are able to see 0:18:44.267,0:18:47.570 the suffering in their father,[br]in their mother. 0:18:47.570,0:18:49.847 And they come home after the retreat, 0:18:49.847,0:18:52.248 listen to their father and their mother 0:18:52.248,0:18:54.345 and help them to suffer less. 0:18:54.708,0:18:56.034 It's a miracle 0:18:56.034,0:18:58.566 It always happens in our retreats. 0:19:08.033,0:19:22.025 (Bell)