(waves crashing)
(brooding music)
(muffled shouting)
- I don't care about this dress!
You think I care about this dress?
(muffled shouting)
- [Zoe Voiceover] Sometimes someone hurts you so bad.
- I don't think you understand me, do you?
I don't think you understand me!
- [Zoe Voiceover] It stops hurting at all.
Until something makes you feel again.
And then it all comes back.
Every word.
Every hurt.
Every moment.
How could you ever understand where I come from?
Even if you ask, even if you listen,
you do not really hear, or see, or feel.
You don't remember my story.
You haven't walked my path.
You haven't seen what I've seen.
(waves crashing)
(somber music)
My past defines me.
This is who I am.
I am
unseen,
unheard,
unwanted.
That is what I am, if even I am anything.
(sirens wailing)
(knocking on door)
- [Policeman] Police, get on the floor!
(muffled shouting)
(brooding music)
- [Zoe Voiceover] It seemed like the same thing
that held me up, forced me down.
And the world turned upside down and order disappeared.
(baby crying)
Nothing was how it was supposed to be,
and a heavy sadness filled my soul.
(insects chirping)
(thunder rumbling)
(somber music)
Deeper and deeper I fell, within myself.
- [Woman] It's all fluffy and fuzzy.
- [Zoe Voiceover] And nothing could trowel me out.
(baby crying)
Trapped in the misery of my life.
Lost in the sorrow of my soul.
Unable to see the light.
Unable to see the dawn.
To feel.
To hope.
- What are you doing taking my fruit?
- [Zoe Voiceover] To dream.
(Zoe screaming)
And I found the darkest days of my life kept coming.
The blackest nights for my soul never stopped.
- No! - Yes.
- [Zoe] No!
(water trickling)
- [Zoe Voiceover] It seemed like it was always nighttime,
and nightmares, and never morning.
It made me wonder why?
But mostly, you try not to think about it,
and try to get by, and try to survive.
And all the other stuff seems so much like nothing
compared to just wanting the most important
things back again.
Like wishing you could see your mom's smile again,
and hear her sing that one favorite song
that always calmed you down when things were all messed up.
Or if you couldn't have her back,
at least get to take care of your baby brother,
'cause you know he needs you,
and he's gonna be so scared all alone.
And who's gonna hold his hand
and whisper it'll be all right to him?
(baby crying)
And who will whisper it to me?
- Hiya, Zoe, it's so good to have you here,
are you ready to come in?
- [Zoe Voiceover] I know I am helpless,
dependent, desperate.
But what happens when those you need the most
threaten your very existence?
I've heard plenty of promises, and they all sound the same.
But push hard enough, and, sooner or later,
they all prove to be empty.
The sun comes up every morning, but do you know where?
Each place, it's somewhere different.
It's hard to find east when you keep moving around,
but at least it comes, it always comes.
I've come to depend on that.
And, slowly, slowly seasons changed around me,
and it seemed this time that, maybe,
the world would not be pulled out from under me again.
Feet safe, roots starting to grow,
little buds of hope for me.
Slowly attempting to trust this new life.
- Hi, come on over, let me show you what I got for you.
I got you a gift.
- I don't care about your dress!
Do you think I care about this dress?
I don't think you understand me, do you?
I don't think you understand me!
- [Zoe Voiceover] I wish someone
would tell me it's gonna be okay.
- I swear to God, you touch me again, I will kill you!
- Oh, let me help you with it.
- No, don't touch me, I don't care about a stupid dress!
That one day, maybe, I'll feel normal.
I hate you, I hate you!
That I won't always be alone.
That I'll have a mommy who will hug me and be strong for me,
because, maybe, I can't do it all by myself.
- Hi, yes, I'm calling to (mumbles).
Thank you so much.
Okay, I'll make sure I'm here.
(somber music)
(draws opening and closing)
(plastic bag rustling)
- [Zoe Voiceover] This, my past, my history,
my story, is not my fault.
It's not because of me,
and doesn't have to be what defines my future.
(somber music)
I am lovable.
I am worthy of care.
And that glimmer of light, it makes all the difference.
The glimmers of light give me hope
that someday my summer will come.
(desolate music)