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When I was a kid I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing

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I thought they were both karate chops

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and because my grandmother thought it was cute and because they were my favorite

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she let me keep doing it

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not really a bit deal

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and one day before I realized fat kids weren't designed to climb trees

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I fell out of a tree and bruised the right side of my body

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I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it because I was scared I'd get in trouble for playing somewhere I shouldn't have been

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A few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise and I got sent to the principals office

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from there I was sent to another small room with a really nice lady who ask me all kinds of questions about my life at home

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I saw no reason to lie as far as I was concerned

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life was pretty good

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I told her whenever I am sad my grandmother gives me karate chops

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this led to a full scale investigation

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and I was removed from the house for three days until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises

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news of this silly little story quickly spread through the school and I earned my first nick name

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Pork Chop

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To this day

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I hate pork chops

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I'm not the only kid who grew up this way

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surrounded by people who used to say that rhyme

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about sticks and stones as if broken bones hurt more than the names we got called

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and we got called them all

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so we grew up believing no one would ever fall in love with us

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that we'd be lonely forever

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that we'd never meet someone to make us feel like the sun was something they build for us in their tool shed

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so broken heart strings bled the blues as we tried to empty ourselves so we would feel nothing

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don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone

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that an ingrown life is something surgeons can cut away

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that theres no way for it to metastisize it does

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she was 8 years old