0:00:05.234,0:00:06.523
(Half bell)

0:00:10.125,0:00:16.525
(Bell)

0:00:33.196,0:00:38.893
Dear Thay, I'd like to know if we have [br]to forgive everything and how to do that.

0:00:42.221,0:00:48.053
Dear Thay,do we have to forgive everything[br]and how can I do that?

0:01:11.426,0:01:15.134
All of us are unskilful at times.

0:01:19.509,0:01:21.801
And when we are not skilful,

0:01:22.297,0:01:25.739
we suffer and [br]we make the other person suffer.

0:01:26.345,0:01:28.986
And that person may be the person we love.

0:01:29.609,0:01:32.541
So, unskilfulness ...

0:01:35.920,0:01:42.510
is something that happened to everyone.

0:01:45.477,0:01:48.516
And we desire that, [br]when we are unskilful,

0:01:49.278,0:01:52.295
and we suffer and make [br]the other person suffer,

0:01:52.696,0:01:54.901
we wish to be forgiven.

0:02:16.476,0:02:18.774
But that is not enough.

0:02:18.842,0:02:21.855
We have to learn from our unskilfulness.

0:02:26.552,0:02:28.736
So we may ask the other person that

0:02:31.900,0:02:34.835
not only his or her forgiveness

0:02:36.516,0:02:39.694
but also her support.

0:02:44.249,0:02:48.392
We may ask him or her like this:

0:02:48.596,0:02:53.576
Dear one, I am unskilful at times.

0:02:56.448,0:02:59.980
So when I say something [br]or do something unskilful,

0:03:00.617,0:03:03.198
I suffer and I make you suffer.

0:03:04.227,0:03:06.693
It is very kind of you to forgive me,

0:03:07.503,0:03:10.909
but I'd like to ask you a favour:

0:03:11.311,0:03:16.441
that when I am about

0:03:18.621,0:03:21.401
to say something [br]or to do something unskilful,

0:03:21.683,0:03:23.792
please warn me.

0:03:24.039,0:03:25.750
Please remind me,

0:03:25.750,0:03:28.908
so that I will refrain[br]from doing that.

0:03:28.973,0:03:32.022
Because it may become a habit.

0:03:35.642,0:03:40.616
And after I have committed [br]the unskiful act,

0:03:45.279,0:03:47.454
not only you forgive me,

0:03:47.820,0:03:51.753
but you help me, [br]you remind me

0:03:52.439,0:03:55.094
that this is unskilfulness,

0:03:56.897,0:04:01.534
so that next time I will not repeat [br]the same type.

0:04:04.380,0:04:06.390
So we need to practice.

0:04:07.164,0:04:11.352
And we need the help of the other person[br]to help us practice.

0:04:17.094,0:04:20.309
And the other part of the answer is that

0:04:20.801,0:04:22.476
in order to forgive,

0:04:23.295,0:04:25.562
you have to see the suffering

0:04:26.083,0:04:29.395
and the unskilfulness of the other person.

0:04:32.111,0:04:36.749
The other person may not want to hurt us,

0:04:38.542,0:04:40.676
to make us suffer,

0:04:40.786,0:04:46.199
it's only that she has, or [br]he has a lot of unskilfulness.

0:04:48.320,0:04:50.982
And that is why if we recognize that

0:04:52.298,0:04:56.060
that has come from the unskilfulness[br]of that person,

0:04:56.370,0:04:59.857
we will not be angry, [br]and we can forgive easily.

0:05:05.475,0:05:10.764
And when we look at him or her[br]and see the suffering in that person,

0:05:14.722,0:05:18.353
which is at the base of all kinds of act

0:05:18.919,0:05:22.098
and words that make you suffer,

0:05:23.536,0:05:26.584
when we see the suffering in him or in her

0:05:27.957,0:05:30.984
when we understand that suffering,

0:05:31.401,0:05:34.938
when we know that that person [br]is not capable of handling,

0:05:36.665,0:05:40.129
of taking care of the suffering [br]in him or in her,

0:05:40.467,0:05:44.226
they become a victim of the suffering,

0:05:45.334,0:05:52.403
and we are only victim number 2 [br]or number 3 only.

0:05:56.133,0:05:59.583
When we are able to see the suffering[br]in him or in her,

0:06:00.311,0:06:04.557
and see that that person is victim of [br]his own suffering,

0:06:05.150,0:06:07.920
and then it's easy to forgive.

0:06:12.225,0:06:14.341
Recognize the suffering.

0:06:14.341,0:06:16.718
Understanding the suffering.

0:06:17.628,0:06:20.918
And having the desire to help that person[br]to suffer less,

0:06:21.430,0:06:24.320
that'll help you to forgive very easily.

0:06:25.561,0:06:29.141
Without that kind of understanding,[br]forgiveness is difficult.

0:06:29.402,0:06:32.477
Even if you want to forgive,[br]you cannot forgive.

0:06:33.958,0:06:37.899
Because he or she has made you suffer[br]so many times,

0:06:38.215,0:06:40.204
so, so many times,

0:06:40.811,0:06:43.277
and even you have warned him or her,

0:06:43.616,0:06:46.631
and they still continue [br]to make you suffer,

0:06:47.631,0:06:49.564
it's difficult to forgive.

0:06:49.825,0:06:51.904
But if you can understand the suffering,

0:06:51.904,0:06:54.019
the deep suffering in him or in her

0:06:54.639,0:06:58.274
and see that he has been the victim [br]number one of his own suffering,

0:06:59.635,0:07:02.592
the situation becomes different.

0:07:02.744,0:07:05.940
You can forgive more easily.

0:07:10.658,0:07:13.143
(Half bell)

0:07:15.678,0:07:23.234
(Bell)