1
00:00:10,942 --> 00:00:14,063
Intimacy, security, respect,

2
00:00:14,063 --> 00:00:17,412
good communication,
a sense of being valued.

3
00:00:17,412 --> 00:00:20,235
These are some of the things
that most people would agree

4
00:00:20,235 --> 00:00:22,490
make for healthy relationships.

5
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,426
And researchers would agree, too.

6
00:00:24,426 --> 00:00:27,654
There is a large body of literature
on romantic relationships

7
00:00:27,654 --> 00:00:30,879
that has identified the features
of healthy relationships,

8
00:00:30,879 --> 00:00:34,400
and the list I just provided
contains many of them.

9
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,710
Researchers also agree

10
00:00:35,710 --> 00:00:38,630
on what makes for
unhealthy relationships -

11
00:00:38,630 --> 00:00:42,630
things like fighting so much
that you just can't work things out;

12
00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:46,121
not being able to go to your partner
for support when you need it;

13
00:00:46,121 --> 00:00:49,891
contempt, criticism, hostility, violence.

14
00:00:49,891 --> 00:00:52,833
When these problems
happen in relationships,

15
00:00:52,833 --> 00:00:55,604
they can cause significant unhappiness.

16
00:00:55,604 --> 00:00:58,962
They can lead to the end
of relationships and divorce,

17
00:00:58,962 --> 00:01:03,696
and they can literally make people
physically and emotionally sick.

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00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:08,206
This is why it is so critical
that people have healthy relationships.

19
00:01:08,206 --> 00:01:09,575
But there is a problem:

20
00:01:10,595 --> 00:01:12,125
how many people know,

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00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:16,255
I mean, really know what to do
on a day-to-day basis,

22
00:01:16,255 --> 00:01:18,945
to create healthy relationships?

23
00:01:20,362 --> 00:01:24,441
My point is this: we may know
what a healthy relationship looks like,

24
00:01:24,441 --> 00:01:27,411
but most people
have no idea how to get one,

25
00:01:27,411 --> 00:01:29,975
and no one teaches us how to do so.

26
00:01:29,975 --> 00:01:34,066
We need to teach people
how to have healthy relationships.

27
00:01:34,874 --> 00:01:38,477
Now, you know when we typically do so?
After it's too late.

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It is called couples therapy.

29
00:01:41,027 --> 00:01:43,773
I do couples therapy,
and it can be a wonderful thing.

30
00:01:43,773 --> 00:01:45,742
But many people come to couples therapy

31
00:01:45,742 --> 00:01:51,279
with so many ingrained problems
and patterns that they just can't change.

32
00:01:52,269 --> 00:01:53,549
It's too late.

33
00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:58,070
You know when else we try to teach people
how to have healthy relationships?

34
00:01:58,070 --> 00:02:00,002
Right before they get married.

35
00:02:00,002 --> 00:02:02,234
It's call premarital education.

36
00:02:03,134 --> 00:02:04,679
And this is a good idea:

37
00:02:04,679 --> 00:02:07,281
teach people how to have
a good relationship

38
00:02:07,281 --> 00:02:09,901
while they are still happy, presumably.

39
00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:11,170
And it can work.

40
00:02:11,170 --> 00:02:13,428
But in my opinion, it's still too late.

41
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,268
Why?

42
00:02:15,688 --> 00:02:17,563
Because people have already selected

43
00:02:17,563 --> 00:02:20,176
the person they want
to commit their life to.

44
00:02:20,756 --> 00:02:23,279
What if they selected poorly?

45
00:02:23,279 --> 00:02:28,857
No amount of premarital education
can make up for a bad partner choice.

46
00:02:31,265 --> 00:02:35,505
So the ways we have tried to teach people
how to have healthy relationships

47
00:02:35,505 --> 00:02:37,006
have been limited,

48
00:02:37,006 --> 00:02:40,286
because they fail to address
three important things:

49
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:45,684
genuinely knowing what you want and need
in a partner and a relationship,

50
00:02:45,684 --> 00:02:48,037
selecting the right person,

51
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:51,933
and developing and using skills
right from the beginning.

52
00:02:51,933 --> 00:02:55,126
I don't mean the beginning
of any particular relationship.

53
00:02:55,126 --> 00:02:58,215
I mean the beginning-beginning,
like as soon as possible.

54
00:02:58,615 --> 00:03:02,382
We need to teach people,
especially young people,

55
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,794
how to have healthy relationships.

56
00:03:05,414 --> 00:03:09,015
Now, towards this end,
my colleagues and I have developed

57
00:03:09,015 --> 00:03:12,040
a skills based model
of relationship functioning

58
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,468
that we believe can help people

59
00:03:14,468 --> 00:03:17,384
create the things
that lead to healthy relationships

60
00:03:17,384 --> 00:03:21,179
and reduce the behaviors
that lead to unhealthy ones.

61
00:03:21,179 --> 00:03:23,639
We've identified three skills -

62
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:27,393
insight, mutuality,
and emotion regulation -

63
00:03:27,393 --> 00:03:31,863
that form the basis for what we call
romantic competence.

64
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:35,989
Romantic competence
is the ability to function adaptively

65
00:03:35,989 --> 00:03:40,904
across all areas or all aspects
of the relationship process,

66
00:03:40,904 --> 00:03:43,190
from figuring out what you need,

67
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:47,172
to finding the right person,
to building a healthy relationship,

68
00:03:47,172 --> 00:03:51,257
and to getting out of relationships
that are unhealthy.

69
00:03:51,257 --> 00:03:53,469
I'll tell you more
about the skills in a minute,

70
00:03:53,469 --> 00:03:56,999
but first, let me say that we didn't just
make this up out of the blue.

71
00:03:56,999 --> 00:03:58,748
We identified the skills

72
00:03:58,748 --> 00:04:02,389
based on a thorough review
of theory and research.

73
00:04:02,389 --> 00:04:05,868
And the skills really
represent the commonalities

74
00:04:05,868 --> 00:04:08,839
across the major theories
and research findings

75
00:04:08,839 --> 00:04:10,370
on healthy relationships.

76
00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:13,759
And because they represent
the commonalities,

77
00:04:13,759 --> 00:04:16,197
we think they really can help people

78
00:04:16,197 --> 00:04:19,910
with all the different parts
of the relationship process,

79
00:04:19,910 --> 00:04:24,508
and with all different people -
whether people in a relationship or not.

80
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,279
So let me tell you about the skills.

81
00:04:27,889 --> 00:04:29,909
The first one is insight.

82
00:04:29,909 --> 00:04:35,129
Insight is about awareness,
and understanding, and learning.

83
00:04:35,129 --> 00:04:41,290
So with insight, you'll have a better idea
of who you are, what you need,

84
00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:43,800
what you want,
why you do the things you do.

85
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,250
So let's say you are being
really snappy to your partner.

86
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:50,049
With insight, you might notice or realize

87
00:04:50,049 --> 00:04:52,561
that it's not that your partner
is doing anything,

88
00:04:52,561 --> 00:04:54,809
but actually you're really
stressed out at work.

89
00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:57,208
What you really need
is to relax a little bit,

90
00:04:57,208 --> 00:04:59,790
so it doesn't bleed out
over into your relationship.

91
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,879
Insight will also let you know
your partner better.

92
00:05:03,879 --> 00:05:06,160
Let's say your partner
shows up late for a date.

93
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,710
With insight, you'll know why.

94
00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:11,499
For example, maybe your partner
is late for everything.

95
00:05:11,499 --> 00:05:13,829
It's nothing about you
or the relationship.

96
00:05:13,829 --> 00:05:15,719
That's just who your partner is.

97
00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:18,736
With insight, you'll be able to anticipate

98
00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:22,288
the positive and negative
consequences of your behavior.

99
00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:26,731
For example, you'll know
that if you send that nasty text,

100
00:05:26,731 --> 00:05:28,520
it is not going to go well.

101
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,016
Maybe you'd better
make a phone call instead.

102
00:05:32,226 --> 00:05:35,075
With insight, you will be able
to learn from your mistakes

103
00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:38,781
in ways that allow you to behave
differently in the future.

104
00:05:38,781 --> 00:05:41,431
So maybe you'll recognize
that you're the kind of person

105
00:05:41,431 --> 00:05:43,461
who tends to jump in really quickly -

106
00:05:43,461 --> 00:05:46,040
you get wrapped up
in the romance of things -

107
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,331
and then things don't go well.

108
00:05:48,331 --> 00:05:49,689
So you might be able to say,

109
00:05:49,689 --> 00:05:51,310
"Well, you know what the next time

110
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,033
I'm just going to take things
a little more slowly

111
00:05:54,033 --> 00:05:56,371
and not repeat the same mistake.

112
00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:59,930
And with insight,
you'll have a better understanding

113
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:03,560
about what's really right
for you in a relationship.

114
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,070
Maybe you're the kind of person

115
00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:07,222
who really needs
a monogamous relationship.

116
00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:10,951
You are not OK with your partner
seeing other people.

117
00:06:10,951 --> 00:06:13,691
Or maybe you'll realize
it's just the opposite,

118
00:06:13,691 --> 00:06:15,482
that you're not ready to settle down,

119
00:06:15,482 --> 00:06:18,101
and you need a partner
who is OK with that.

120
00:06:18,101 --> 00:06:19,553
So that's insight.

121
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,611
The second skill is mutuality.

122
00:06:22,611 --> 00:06:26,421
Mutuality is about knowing
that both people have needs,

123
00:06:26,421 --> 00:06:29,502
and that both sets of needs matter.

124
00:06:29,502 --> 00:06:30,621
With mutuality

125
00:06:30,621 --> 00:06:35,312
you'll be able to convey your own needs
in a clear direct fashion

126
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,322
that increases the likelihood
that you'll get them met.

127
00:06:38,322 --> 00:06:41,134
Let's say you have to go
to a really stressful family event,

128
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,427
and you'd like your partner
to be there with you.

129
00:06:43,427 --> 00:06:45,053
You might say directly:

130
00:06:45,053 --> 00:06:47,265
"You know this is going
to be stressful for me.

131
00:06:47,265 --> 00:06:49,045
I'd really love for you to be there;

132
00:06:49,045 --> 00:06:51,030
you'll be a really good buffer for me.

133
00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:54,256
Is there any way you can
clear your schedule to come with me?"

134
00:06:55,222 --> 00:06:57,214
With mutuality,

135
00:06:57,214 --> 00:07:01,035
you'll be willing to meet
your partner's needs as well.

136
00:07:01,384 --> 00:07:04,576
Let's say you know that your partner
really likes to go to the gym

137
00:07:04,576 --> 00:07:05,927
first thing in the morning,

138
00:07:05,927 --> 00:07:08,522
it makes your partner
feel better the rest of the day.

139
00:07:08,522 --> 00:07:12,912
Mutuality will let you be willing
to support your partner in this,

140
00:07:12,912 --> 00:07:16,861
even though you'd really rather have
your partner stay home, in bed with you.

141
00:07:17,961 --> 00:07:22,295
And mutuality also lets you
factor both people's needs

142
00:07:22,295 --> 00:07:25,704
into decisions that you make
about your relationship.

143
00:07:25,704 --> 00:07:28,858
So let's say you get a great job offer
that you'd like to take,

144
00:07:28,858 --> 00:07:31,317
but you know it means
you will to have to work more,

145
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:33,106
and you know how important it is

146
00:07:33,106 --> 00:07:36,055
for both you and your partner
to spend time together.

147
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,856
With a mutual approach, you might say,

148
00:07:38,856 --> 00:07:40,906
"You know, I'd really like
to take this job,

149
00:07:40,906 --> 00:07:42,415
it's really important to me,

150
00:07:42,415 --> 00:07:45,716
but I also am concerned
about us spending time together.

151
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,657
If I promise to protect some time for us,

152
00:07:48,657 --> 00:07:51,726
will you be OK with me taking this job?"

153
00:07:51,726 --> 00:07:54,477
That's a mutual approach to relationships.

154
00:07:55,459 --> 00:07:57,726
The third skill is emotion regulation.

155
00:07:57,726 --> 00:08:01,171
And emotion regulation
is about regulating your feelings

156
00:08:01,171 --> 00:08:04,646
in response to things
that happen in your relationship.

157
00:08:05,366 --> 00:08:09,747
With emotion regulation,
you'll be able to ...

158
00:08:10,627 --> 00:08:12,359
keep your emotions calm

159
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,719
and keep things that happen
in your relationship in perspective.

160
00:08:16,659 --> 00:08:19,478
So, you might think: "Oh, my goodness.

161
00:08:19,478 --> 00:08:21,857
This is a disaster!
This is the worst thing ever!

162
00:08:21,857 --> 00:08:23,553
How am I going to handle this?"

163
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,278
With emotion regulation, you'll think:

164
00:08:26,278 --> 00:08:28,569
"You know what, I can handle this.

165
00:08:28,569 --> 00:08:30,006
This is going to be all right.

166
00:08:30,006 --> 00:08:32,953
There is a way to deal with this.
I'm going to figure this out.

167
00:08:32,953 --> 00:08:34,597
Everything is going to be OK."

168
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:36,938
With emotion regulation,

169
00:08:36,938 --> 00:08:40,304
you'll be able to tolerate
uncomfortable feelings

170
00:08:40,304 --> 00:08:42,593
and not act out on them impulsively,

171
00:08:42,593 --> 00:08:46,131
so you'll to be able to think through
your decisions more clearly.

172
00:08:46,131 --> 00:08:49,007
So let's say your waiting
for your partner to text you back.

173
00:08:49,007 --> 00:08:51,550
That text isn't coming;
you're getting really anxious;

174
00:08:51,550 --> 00:08:53,761
you're checking your phone
every two seconds.

175
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:56,552
With emotion regulation,
you'll be able to tell yourself,

176
00:08:56,552 --> 00:08:58,252
"You know what? Calm down.

177
00:08:58,252 --> 00:08:59,648
The text is going to come.

178
00:08:59,648 --> 00:09:02,199
I don't need to check
my phone every second;

179
00:09:02,199 --> 00:09:06,147
I'm just going to put it away
and focus on the task at hand."

180
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,846
And with emotion regulation,

181
00:09:08,846 --> 00:09:11,901
you'll be able to maintain
a sense of self-respect

182
00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:13,470
and commitment to your needs,

183
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:16,237
even when bad things happen
in your relationship.

184
00:09:16,707 --> 00:09:18,372
So let's say you have a breakup.

185
00:09:18,372 --> 00:09:22,574
You're feeling really depressed;
you're really missing your partner.

186
00:09:22,574 --> 00:09:23,727
With emotion regulation,

187
00:09:23,727 --> 00:09:26,606
you'll be able to let
yourself know that it is OK;

188
00:09:26,606 --> 00:09:28,800
that, yeah, you're going
to feel depressed,

189
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,272
but you're going to get over it
and get through this.

190
00:09:31,272 --> 00:09:33,663
If you beg and plead to get back together,

191
00:09:33,663 --> 00:09:35,757
you're not going to feel good
about yourself,

192
00:09:35,757 --> 00:09:37,956
and you don't even want to be
in a relationship

193
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,452
that wasn't good for you.

194
00:09:40,422 --> 00:09:44,302
So insight, mutuality,
and emotion regulation.

195
00:09:44,302 --> 00:09:49,690
I believe it's people's ability
to use the skills on a day-to-day basis

196
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,721
that lets them have healthy relationships.

197
00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:55,751
So let me give you an example
of how this works.

198
00:09:55,751 --> 00:09:58,380
The other day I was talking
to someone, and she said

199
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,620
that when her partner asked her
what she wanted for her birthday,

200
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,828
she told him she didn't want anything.

201
00:10:03,828 --> 00:10:05,839
So guess what? She didn't get anything.

202
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,520
And she got really angry,
and they had a big fight.

203
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,040
Why?

204
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:13,440
Because she really did want a present,
she just didn't want to tell him;

205
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,669
she just wanted him to somehow know.

206
00:10:15,669 --> 00:10:16,980
It is called mind reading.

207
00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:19,939
It is a terrible idea; it never works.

208
00:10:19,939 --> 00:10:22,505
Had she been using the skills,

209
00:10:22,505 --> 00:10:26,235
insight would have let her
know herself well enough to realize

210
00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:28,070
that she really did want something,

211
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:30,756
and if she didn't get it,
she was going to be mad.

212
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:34,920
Insight also would have let her know
that her partner was the kind of guy

213
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,541
who was just going
to take what she said literally.

214
00:10:38,591 --> 00:10:43,584
Mutuality would have let her
really ask for what she wanted,

215
00:10:43,584 --> 00:10:45,647
directly and clearly.

216
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:50,826
And emotion regulation would have let her
deal with any feelings she was having

217
00:10:50,826 --> 00:10:53,164
that were getting
in the way of doing that.

218
00:10:53,164 --> 00:10:55,117
So maybe she was feeling kind of anxious:

219
00:10:55,117 --> 00:10:58,023
What would he think
if I asked for what I needed?

220
00:10:58,023 --> 00:11:00,045
Or maybe she was feeling guilty, you know.

221
00:11:00,045 --> 00:11:02,016
She knows they are saving for a big trip,

222
00:11:02,016 --> 00:11:06,244
and she maybe thought that he would think
that she was kind of greedy or something.

223
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,927
So if she had used the skills,
she would have been able to say,

224
00:11:10,927 --> 00:11:11,927
"You know what?

225
00:11:11,927 --> 00:11:13,734
I know we are saving for that trip,

226
00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:16,456
but I really like that necklace
that we saw the other day,

227
00:11:16,456 --> 00:11:18,099
and it wasn't that expensive."

228
00:11:18,099 --> 00:11:20,048
He would have gotten it for her.

229
00:11:20,048 --> 00:11:22,558
She would have felt respected and valued.

230
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:24,316
He would have been happy.

231
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,457
They would have felt more intimate.

232
00:11:26,457 --> 00:11:29,707
This whole birthday gift thing
would have gone well,

233
00:11:29,707 --> 00:11:31,472
instead of ending in a fight

234
00:11:31,472 --> 00:11:33,557
that could really
damage their relationship.

235
00:11:34,942 --> 00:11:37,266
Now, this was just an anecdote.

236
00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:39,834
We have data to support this as well.

237
00:11:40,770 --> 00:11:43,062
I've been studying romantic competence,

238
00:11:43,062 --> 00:11:47,118
the ability for people to use insight,
mutuality, and emotion regulation,

239
00:11:47,779 --> 00:11:49,457
among young people.

240
00:11:49,457 --> 00:11:50,555
In one of our studies,

241
00:11:50,555 --> 00:11:54,486
we looked at 13- and 14-year-old girls,
early adolescent girls,

242
00:11:54,486 --> 00:11:59,279
and we found that girls
who were more romantically competent

243
00:11:59,609 --> 00:12:01,785
felt more secure in their relationships.

244
00:12:01,785 --> 00:12:03,846
They felt comfortable
being close to people,

245
00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:07,845
they could trust people,
they weren't worried about being rejected.

246
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:12,384
Girls who are more romantically competent
reported fewer depressive symptoms,

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they had better mental health.

248
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They also were more positive


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about their expectations
about marriage in the future;

250
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they were more optimistic
that it could go well.

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Girls with greater romantic competence

252
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were engaging in more typical
romantic activities for their age,

253
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things that were normative,
like dating and flirting

254
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and affectionate behaviors
like hugging and kissing.

255
00:12:38,928 --> 00:12:41,850
And girls who were more
romantically competent

256
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:44,152
were engaging in fewer ...

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atypical, sexual activities,
like sexual intercourse,

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which can be considered pretty risky
for a 13- and 14-year-old girl.

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So, even at an early age,
13 and 14 years old,

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when these girls mostly
were not even in relationships,

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the more romantically competent they were,

262
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the more adaptive relational
functioning they were showing,

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00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:09,013
and the better mental health
they were showing.

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We see the same things
among young adults, 18 to 25 years old:

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More romantically competent men and women
feel more secure in relationships.

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They also report making better decisions,

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they can see the warning signs
when things aren't going well

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and make conscious decisions
with confidence.

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They're also better at seeking
and providing support to their partners.

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So, they are more willing
to ask for what they need

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and use what their partners give them.

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And they are better at providing
helpful support when needed.

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And this isn't just what they told us,

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we actually observed them
doing this in our laboratory,

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where we asked them to talk
with one another about a personal problem.

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00:13:55,213 --> 00:13:57,874
Young people who were
more romantically competent

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00:13:57,874 --> 00:14:00,616
also were more satisfied
in their relationships,

278
00:14:00,616 --> 00:14:02,279
they were happier.

279
00:14:02,279 --> 00:14:05,210
And again, they reported
fewer depressive symptoms

280
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:08,188
and also fewer anxiety symptoms.

281
00:14:08,188 --> 00:14:09,546
So overall,

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00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:13,436
being romantically competent
at a young age

283
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:18,296
is associated with greater,
more adaptive relationship functioning

284
00:14:18,296 --> 00:14:20,486
and greater individual well being.

285
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:23,258
And this brings me back to my point

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that we need to be teaching people
how to have healthy relationships.

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00:14:28,929 --> 00:14:30,866
So, like I said earlier on,

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00:14:31,276 --> 00:14:34,046
we may know what a healthy
relationship looks like,

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00:14:34,046 --> 00:14:36,590
but most people have no idea
how to get one,

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00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:39,500
and no one teaches us how to do so.

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And this is a problem.

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00:14:41,328 --> 00:14:47,081
We need to help people genuinely know
what they want and need in a relationship.

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00:14:47,461 --> 00:14:49,950
We need to help them
select the right partner.

294
00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:52,877
We need to help them make good decisions

295
00:14:52,877 --> 00:14:56,061
and deal with the challenges
that relationships bring.

296
00:14:56,711 --> 00:15:00,329
And we need to help them
build and use skills

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00:15:00,329 --> 00:15:02,389
right from the beginning.

298
00:15:02,389 --> 00:15:05,787
This is what the notion
of romantic competence is all about.

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00:15:06,528 --> 00:15:11,343
It's all about using insight, mutuality,
and emotion regulation

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to reduce the behaviors
that lead to unhealthy relationships,

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like fighting, and poor support,

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00:15:18,174 --> 00:15:21,514
and hostility, and criticism,
and contempt, and violence.

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00:15:21,984 --> 00:15:25,698
And create the things
that lead to healthy relationships,

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00:15:25,698 --> 00:15:30,111
like intimacy, security, respect,
good communication,

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00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:32,568
and a sense of being valued.

306
00:15:33,028 --> 00:15:36,088
And wouldn't all of our relationships
benefit from this?

307
00:15:36,088 --> 00:15:37,921
I think they would.

308
00:15:37,921 --> 00:15:39,025
Thank you.

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00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,515
(Applause)