[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's go to the other side?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the deal: we're looking for a fisherman here to tell us a joke.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hey dude.- Will anybody here tell us a joke or not?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No.- We're shooting a documentary.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We're bad at telling jokes around here.- Any good joke-tellers around here?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You'll find good jokesters down that way.- Where?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Down that way.There are plenty of fishermen there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do any of you know howto tell a joke by any chance?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I don't.- It depends on the intensity of the joke.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What do I get if I tell a joke?- I'm starting to think that you guys tell jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are shooting a documentaryabout fishermen telling jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh?- No one knows anything around here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Just a quick little joke!- I can't.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Not even a short one?- Not even a very short one.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you know how to tell jokes by any chance?- Oh...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Not for now.- Not now?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Not even a short one?- No.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Try that camp because there's a crowd over there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, do you guys knowhow to tell jokes at all?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes, but can'tthink of any right now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But wouldn't you want to tell us one?We're making a documentary
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about jokesters and I'm trying to finda fisherman who is good at telling jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Can we go over there and you'll tell us one?- If you say there isn't any fish here, that's a joke.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No jokesters over there?- No, maybe you'll find one over there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No jokes?- None.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sunset xxx...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi buddy, how are you?Are there any people around this market that
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know as the funny guy, the one everyone knows is the jokester?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, there are several but most of them are busy today.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Sunday is a busy day.- Give me an example and I'll get them off duty.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you pass that butcher's shop, you'll find a fat guy there called Tidão.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the man in this market. He is funny by nature, just like Mussum.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He doesn't even have to tell a joketo get everyone to laugh.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What's his name?- Tidão, you can look for Tidão.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Okay, I'll go there. Thank you.- No problem.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you know where Tidão is?- Over here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the thing, we are making a documentary about jokesters.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a guy from Cuiabá and a guy from Bahia fishing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They fished and had no luck catching any fish, but the guy from Cuiabá was there
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,annoyed with a fly that kept going back and forth. He said that he caught the fly and stopped in time.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He caught it and said: "Hey fly, if you had a bigger butt I'd fuck you in the ass."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the guy from Bahia stood up,bent over and said: "Buzzzz."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a good one...A Poconian left here and went to São Paulo.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Who?- A Poconian.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What's a Poconian?- Someone from the city of Poconé, in Mato Grosso.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he departs to São Paulo and once he gets there, he waits for the subway at the railway track.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People start yelling: "Get out of there!Step away from the track!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They tackled him and the train proceeded to wreck his bike, running over everything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he came back and once hearrived to his hometown in Poconé
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was Christmas time and so his boss's store was decorated with a train.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he ran indoors, got a 12-inch gun and offed the Christmas decoration.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His boss said: "Have you lost it?Why would you do something like that?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He answered: "Don't be naive, boss. We have to off this beast while it's still a child. When it grows up..."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy came up and said the following:"Priest, how does the church tithe system work?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The priest said: "Well, it's 50% for the diocese,and 50% for me."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he approached a rabbi and said: "Rabbi, how does the church tithe system work?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The rabbi answered:"It's 70% for the diocese, 30% for me."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he went to the minister and said: "Minister, how does the tithe system work?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Here, we take the money and throw it up in the air. If Jesus catches it, it's his. If it drops, it's mine."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you a truck driver? Do you drive across Brazil or just around here?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Mato Grosso, Goiás, Minas Gerais and Rondônia.- What kind of cargo do you take?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Anything you've got.- Anything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Don't you have any truck driver jokes?- No man, we work hard.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't have time for that, all we do is work.No time for jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A Brazilian and an Argentine were walking and they don't get along, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, they found a magic lamp.They rubbed it and a genie comes out.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The genie grants each one of them a wish, but the Argentine thinks it isn't fair.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he says: "Genie, I want you to build a wallaround my entire country...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"... because I don't Brazilian intruders in my country."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The genie snaps his fingers and a 20-ft wall surges.He then asks the Brazilian what his wish is.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Brazilian says:"Please fill the space inside the wall with water."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He just laughs...- Come over here to tell one.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Grab a chair.- Come here to tell us a joke.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're gonna tella joke here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The gaucho was on vacationso he went to the Pantanal to see what it's like.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He got there, met with the house's caretakerand the caretaker said:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Gaucho, I'm gonna show you something."They go to a dam and the caretaker holds a stick.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He whistled and an alligator appeared.- Where's the whistle? Do the whistle.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how to whistle!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He would whistle,how does one whistle?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do it again?- Now I ran out of stock.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the alligator appeared and the guy from Pantanal hit the alligator's head with the stick.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He yelled: "Easy!" to the alligator and removed it from the water.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The alligator came out slowly and whenever the alligator resisted, he would hit it on the head.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the Pantanal caretaker said to the gaucho:"Do you want to try?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I do, but I just don't know if I cantake all those blows to my head."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a true story.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the guy bought a 4x4 truck. He gets home with his 0 kilometer brand new truck.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He parked the truck and went to take a showerto go out with his date, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When he came back, a drunk saw the "4x4", got a nail and scratched the car with "=16."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The drunk scratched both sides. The owner saw it and took it to the repair shop.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Three days later the truck was parked in the same place and the drunk wrote: "4x4=16."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the third time it happened, the owner decided to renovate the truck and put a sticker on it that read
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,4x4=16 and he thought to himself:"What will the drunk do now?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The drunk saw the sticker, so he picked up the nail and scratched a check mark on the car.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a good one! It was wrong before? Now it's right, so let's just scratch the whole thing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- With a white-out, like from school.- Seriously, you've got better than that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not cool. You weren't doing anything, I invited you over and now you're making fun of me?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People from the South don't like people from Mato Grosso because of their color.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So a driver from Cuiabá went to the South. He switches gear over and over until he gets there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't remember the town's name, but once he gets there, he says:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I need a toilet."In Mato Grosso, we say toilet.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he goes to the store and says:"I need a toilet."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "Where are you from?"- "I'm a Cuiabano, from the state of Cuiabá."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy answers:"In the South it's not a toilet, it's called a Cuiabano."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "That's messed up, don't you think?"- "What size do you want?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Give me one that'll fit 4 or 5 guys from the South inside."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy from Cuiabá wanted to go to Rio de Janeiro, he was obsessed with Rio.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he bought a brand new car. He went to Cuiabá to buy it and returned to Poconé.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He got there all excited and said: "I'm gonna go to Rio, I'm gonna see Rio."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His friends said: "What, man? Don't got there. The people from Rio are gonna eat you alive."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy from Cuiabá answere:"Cuiabanos are tough. I'll go and you'll see."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 15 minutes he got in the car and went.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He drives and drives and drives.He kept saying: "We, from Poconé, are tough."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once he got to Rio he had to take a shit, but he looked around and didn't want to get the car dirty.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He got out and took a shit, but there was no paper so he wiped himself with a nettle leaf.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd never seen nettle before, so he wiped himself and started to feel an itch in the car.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When he was 300km away from Rio the itch was really bad, so he thought: "What will I do now?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know what? I'll turn around and go back. If I'm already itching now, by the time I'm there..."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he turns the car around and returns, but at least he didn't get eaten alive.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Very tough.- Manly!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My asshole and his asshole were talking. My asshole said to his: "Hi, are you a virgin?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His asshole replied:"Of course not!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're a truck driver so you musthave truck driver jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No, I don't have any.- Sure you do.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We work too hard.- You have at least one.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No, I don't.- You must have one trucker joke.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I can't remember any.- You know you do.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Truck driver, truck driver... nope!You think I'm crazy to trash talk about myself?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not trash talk.It's making fun of other truck drivers, not you.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fine, there was this guy driving a 16x20 truck loaded with vegetables back and forth.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He gets a receipt stamped at the Tax Station, so when the Highway Patrol he gives them the receipt.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The price on the document is correct, so they ask him to weigh the banana load.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's 1000 pounds over the limit, so the police says "You're arrested, but I'll let you go."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But first, you'll have to shove all thosebananas you know where."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The truck driver started to laugh, shoving the bananas and laughing hysterically.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The police said: "Are you crazy, man? Shoving bananas and then laughing about it?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "It's funny!"- "Why?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My friend is coming down with 3000 kilos, except his load is full of pineapples!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anybody there?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All the windowsare closed.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. João?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anybody there?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I come a little closer?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does that dog bite?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me ask you something.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We're looking for Mr. João Borba.- João Borba lives over there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know, but do you know where he is? I went there, we knocked and called him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- They're in Cuiabá.- Oh no, seriously?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you know when they return? Did they say?- His brother is taking care of the kids.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think they come back tomorrow, or tonight.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're shooting a documentaryabout jokesters.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Look, we're Evangelical Christians.- So he won't tell stories?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He tells stories, but he's also Evangelical.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- And Evangelicals can't tell jokes?- No, it doesn't please God.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It doesn't please God.- But doesn't it depend on the joke?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it doesn't please God. For us to go to heaven, we have to be clean and pure.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know, but jokes don't have to be necessarily dirty, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He does tell jokes, except that when he tells them to us, he tells them differently.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Like the PG version, huh?- Yeah, the lighter versions.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,24 hours later
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good afternoon!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How are you?- Good.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Is João Terêncio around, by any chance.- He isn't.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I can't believe it, he isn't?- No.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Will he come back?- The kid who works for him says he'll return tonight.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you sure? Everyone said he was supposed to come yesterday.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- So we went all the way to Lucas and came back...- The kid he'll come back tonight.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What time today?- He said he'll arrive late.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- But he'll come back for sure, right?- Maybe late at night.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What time is the bus? Is he riding the bus?- I don't know how he's getting here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It appears we didn't make it.We won't meet Mr. João Terêncio this time around.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- XXX- Yeah, we were.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. João Terêncio won't be a jokester in our movie.At least not in Jokesters Part I.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what fieldworkers are liketo pay things on credits and start up tabs...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vicente gets to a store and a woman says: "Don't bother coming in, you can't buy booze on credit."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "I don't want booze."I quit drinking."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a glass deposit with coconut candy inside.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he said:"Get me a coconut candy."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The woman handed him the candy, so he lookedat it and said: "How much does it cost?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The woman said: "It's 50 cents."He replied: "What about the cachaça?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The woman said: "It's also 50 cents."He said: "Take the candy and give me the booze."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He drank it and left, so the woman said: "Hey, funny guy! You gonna pay for the booze or what?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He replied: "What do you mean?Didn't I exchange it for my coconut candy?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said: "So pay for the coconut candy!"He answered: "Did I eat coconut candy?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Good morning! Where is Alto do Jucá?- Alto do Jucá?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Up that street.- Up that way? How far, more or less?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- From here it's about...- 200km.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No, it's more than that...- More...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, but it's not much more.Just go up that way on the first sign.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you know Rogério?- Rogério? Who is Rogério?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Clown.- Yes! He's a customer here at the store.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Really? He lives over there?- I'm not sure of the exact location.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He's funny, right?- Yeah, he's very funny.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the guard I think.He looks like a watchman.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Could I get some informationhere please?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Good morning!- Good morning.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Where is Alto do Jucá?- Oh, you can go that way...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Take a right after the first speed bump.- First speed bump, to the right.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You drive past the first, second and third roads and then his dad's house is right upfront.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Good morning!- Good morning!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you know the Clown?- That's me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's up?Was it is hard or easy to find me?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was hard and easy.How are you?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Let's get out of the car.- Let's go.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a movie about jokesterswho are not very famous.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are basically looking for these people, which is why we called you last minute.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Somebody mentioned you, we called, we're here and the rest is history.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We wanted to hear a little bit about you.How and why did you start telling jokes?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where did this urge to tell jokes come from?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jokes... I was funny ever since I was a kid.I never liked taking anything too seriously.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My thing was to mess around.I liked pranks.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I started working on a project, doing theater pieces and working as a clown.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After a while I realized that clown's couldn't be comedians - either you're a comedian or a clown.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone in my family works. I didn't like it, so I started telling jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never did like it. Sometimes I'll be at home and my mom will say:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Son, get out there and try to find something to do."I say: "No, I'm too afraid I'll find it."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I don't go. I say it's better to stay put at home, am I right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's the truth, I really like joking around.It's my life.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm very outgoing, I like to play around.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I try to be serious, people start laughing anyway.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They'll say: "You're joking right?You're not serious."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As you can see, the married man is fatter than the single man.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I drew a conclusion from this. It's a story I made up and it's true.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why? The single guy comes home and what does he do?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He goes directly to the fridge, opens it and says:"Man, not this again! Not soda and crackers!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm going to bed instead."He gets under the sheets and goes to bed.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The married guy goes to bed, gets under the sheets and says: "Not this again! I'm going to the fridge!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He goes, eats everything he wants and gets fat.That's why married guys are fatter than single guys.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy walks into a bar and says: "Hi, get me a liter of cachaça and a roast chicken."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The waiter brings it to him. He pours him a liter and serves the chicken.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the customer looks to both sides and says: "I'm going to examine this chicken!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He stuck his finger inside the chicken's you know what, smelled it and said: "I don't want it!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This chicken came from Fortaleza. I don't like chicken from Fortaleza!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The waiter said: "Here we go!This guy is doing a prostate screening!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sticks his finger in there and he knows where it comes from! That chicken really is from Fortaleza."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The client says: "I don't want it, you can take it."So the waiter brought another chicken.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the other chicken was there, he looked to the sides and stuck his finger in the chicken again.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He sniffed and said: "I don't want this one either. It's from here, it's from Ceará."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the local bar owner said: "Bring him one of thegross ones from Véia Toinha. He won't guess that!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the chicken was at the customer's table, helooked to the sides and then stuck his finger in it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He sniffed it and said: "Whoa! My good friend from Véia Toinha! This one came from there, right?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The owner said: "Wow kid! You're really good.This chicken did come from Véia Toinha.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You stick your finger in there as if it were a prostatescreening, sniff it and find out where it's from."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The drunk stood up and said: "No offense, but could you stick yours up mine? I've been lost for 3 days."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know anyone who is good at telling jokes by any chance?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His dad owns that ceramic shop over there - Arara Cermamics.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Go ahead, he's there.- Where is it?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Arara Ceramics.- Oh, it's inside the ceramics shop.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.Go ahead, you'll find him there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does Giovanni work here? We're shooting a movie about jokesters.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Funny people and stuff like that. I heard he's a good story and joke teller, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, he's even published a book this year.- Can I see?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's some people here from São Paulo.I'm going to put you through.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- That's him.- Giovanni?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello? Giovanni? Hi, I'm Gustavo from São Paulo.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're shooting a documentary about jokesters.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're on a quest across Brazil and you came in highly recommended
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a potential jokester, so we were thinking about dropping by to have a word with you. Could we?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Arara Ceramics, got it. I'll get directions, but it should take me half an hour.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, good morning! I'm here to see Giovanni.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Giovanni!- Gustavo?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- That's me!- Dude, what are you doing in this jungle?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How are you doing?- All's good.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- This is Chico.- Chico! How are you doing, bro?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm good.- This is our photographer and that guy is André.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- André, what's up?- So we find out that you wrote a book, is that right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Seven books!- So not just one, seven.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- And I thought it was just one...- No, there were several.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Man, can you give me a minute?- I'll give you two. In fact, I'll give you seven!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Wait for me over there, make yourself at home.- Okay.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So tell me, what's your relationship with jokes and comedy like?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, we're throwing thetenth FHC event here in Iguatu in August.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We created it and we pay tribute to the ACM. FHC is the Ceará Comedy Festival.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And ACM is a friend of ours from herecalled Airton Cachorra Magra.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was honored.It all starts with a prank.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The current mayor of Iguatu is a friend of mine,Aderilo Alcântara.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can go to São Paulo, New York, Paris,anywhere...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he goes to a lot of funerals.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Over 2 thousand funerals, he's a well-known guy.- Let me understand...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He likes to go to funerals to...- Market himself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If he's not at the square with the Cathedral when there's a funeral it's because he's out of town.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of these daysan outcast criminal died.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the mayor looked at him at the funeral and said:"A good citizen, a role model family man.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"A great head of the family."And the widow said to her son:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Go check if it's reallyyour father inside that coffin."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy was the biggest scumbag.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then there's this other guy called João Lázaro.He's the town Councillor.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The fact is that João Lázaro made some extra cash and went to Juazeiro get prescription glasses.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those prescription glasses that you can get for 2 to 3 bucks.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he was giving prescription glasses to everyonein Iguatu, until an old lady heard about it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The poor lady went up to him and said: "Mr. Lázaro, please give me good glasses
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"because I can't read the letters thatmy children have been sending me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Give me glasses and get 8 votes from my house."That's how things work here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he reached into the bottom of the bag,handed a pair of coke-bottle glasses to her.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The old lady put them in her purseand walked to the fair.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once she got to the fair, she put the glasses onand then asked a vendor:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sir, how much does a kilo of those beans cost?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He answered: "I wouldn't knowbecause I'm selling sesame seeds."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's another government-related incident where
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a man was in an accident and lost a legand Cidal wanted a doctor's statement every year.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He would always bring one saying:"Mr. Antônio Queiroz de Oliveira
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"herewith declares that he haslost his leg and therefore cannot work, etc."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One fine year, he got fed up and wrote:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I herewith declare that Antônio Queiroz de Oliveiralost his leg and it will never grow back."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that was that. They stopped asking for it. Crazy, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You honk, you callYou wink, you win me over
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love mototaxiYou honk, call, wink, win me over
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love mototaxiParked at the square with the powerful bike
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ToothpickFatal smile
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Midday sunScorching heat
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Calling the clients overWith a sexy voice
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,MoralityMorality...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The love mototaxi is a real thing.The driver is a a true womanizer, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He has several client's in his cell phone, so we wrote the song based on this story.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- So it's a real-life character?- Real-life, the Love Mototaxi.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So people just call him for a ride or do they call him to get the full service?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes it's both. He'll take them home and give the full service.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a joke in which a guy says:"Dude, you know that guy from dumpcart? He died."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The other guy says: "Seriously? How?""He hit the truck and flew through the windshield."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One friend: "So he died from the hit."The other friend: "No, he's still alive
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he fell inside the house. He came in through the window, hit the wardrobe and it fell on top of him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The wardrobe tumbled on top of him."The friend squeals: "He was crushed!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Not at all! He lifted the wardrobe, but leaned on a socket
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"220 volts."The friend yells: "He was electrocuted to death!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He frantically ran down the stairs. He was still alive but fell down the entire flight."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The friend said: "He broke his neck and died!""No, he got up and leaned on a a panhandle
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"which tipped over with boiling oil.""Now he died!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He still managed to get stuck under the fridge."The friend finally asked: "What did he die of?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I shot him in the face.""You killed the guy?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The guy was wrecking my entire house!He was destroying everything!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're the one who's going to take me. I'm going, I'm going.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Check, check. Is it working?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Let's go. - Let's! Where are we going?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I don't know, you're the local.- Yeah, but I'm not from here man.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I live here but I'm not from here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've always written comedies, since I was a kid. I would write and write and write.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except I've always been the shyest person in the world.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never pictured myself on a stage. I thought one day I'd have the courage to do it
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's like those people who say they want to skydive someday, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My version of skydiving is to go up onstage.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a nerd, when it comes to relationships my reference is Mario and Princess Peach.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a theory that Mario was somewhat inspired by the porn industry.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only in the porn industry it's possible to accept the premise that a princess would marry a plumber.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Greek mythology is amongmy favorite topics.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think Greek gods are so badass. Like the God of Fire, the Sun God, the Water God...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And our God is just God. Like God, period.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get the feeling that our God went to collegeand never wanted to get his graduate degree.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He held back, you know?Kind of lazy or maybe he was low on cash...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To this day they sell stand-up show ticketsfeaturing characters here in Porto Alegre.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that's why people get confused, especially here in Porto Alegre
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about what is stand-up and what isn't.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a famous show here, I think it's called "Ladies First" and it's the most famous one...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They sold themselves as stand-up comedy,except they used characters.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's not stand-up. In my view, it's not stand-up comedy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the difference between stand-up and characters?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In stand-up, I'm free from characters.I'm unarmed, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I'm not funny, it's because I really wasn't funny.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll be down all week becauseI wasn't funny.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If the character isn't funny, it's the actual persona that isn't funny.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, a character switch,you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It must be kind of a drag to be friends with God. Like being God's best friend.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because God is God, right? If you go up to him and tell him something, he'll say:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I know, dude. I'm God."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The good thing about stand-up is that we can work with whatever is going on currently.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're always active, we're always writing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our text has an expiry date. This week's show might not work next month.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hate rehearsing, I prefer to wing it. See what happens, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't show anybody what I'm going to do beforehand.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you write it...- I jot it down and keep it to myself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you laugh on your own?- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So other than working with comedy,I also study Journalism.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to major in Journalism soon, so I'll be a Comedian and a Journalist.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words, I'm trying very hard to remain unemployed.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The ideal person to be in Brazilian journalism is William Bonner.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody thinks they'll be just like William Bonner.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But William Bonner is an exception man, because William Bonner is a badass.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's extremely competent. If you stop to think about it...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Globo network made him the anchor of the National News.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And nowadays, he's like Chief Editor of the thing.Like, Globo got him a woman co-anchor
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he married her.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She wanted to get pregnant and he gave her triplets.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In just one fuck.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello, Jean?So, let me explain.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm working on a documentaryabout people who tell jokes
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we're going to swingby Araranguá soon.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to know if you'd liketo tell us some of your jokes?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sure you are, my mother recommended you!Are you sure?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You sure you don't want to?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, that's fine.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it's okay.Alright.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks, take care.Bye.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Didn't want to.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He didn't want to.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,1 minute later
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello, Jean?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Jean, it's a very simple ordeal.We'll just get there and talk.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have no obligation with the movieor anything like that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're filming a bunch of people and I thought of you because Araranguá is in our way.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, thanks Jean!Great, bye.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeane called and said: "No, I talked to him and he's gonna do it. He'll tell you himself."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She put him on the phone and he said: "Now she wants me to do it at any cost!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I guess I'll do it then. I have to."So now we're heading there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How did this tradition of telling jokes come about?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I'm not really a jokester.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm the guy in a crowd that everyone thinks is witty,I reason quickly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm the guy that always has a joke at the tip of the tongue for anything that anybody might say.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Somebody will say something stupid and then you say something even more stupid.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- That's pretty much how it works.- So when we called you didn't understand anything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't. I thought: "That's not really my thing. How am I going to talk about this stuff?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's really hard, but then the wife,who tells us what to do 107% of the time
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,picked up the phone...She's laughing but she knows it's true.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said: "Call back and tell Francisco you'll do it."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since we have to obey due to the hierarchy...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a joke that goes like this: A guy goes to heaven and saw two doors.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, there were two lines towards a couple of doors that said the following:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Men Who Are Bossed Around by Women and Men Who Boss Women Around.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Men Who Are Bossed Around by Women door was completely full
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there was just one guy in the line for theMen Who Boss Women Around door.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then one guy who was at the back of the line said: "There's just one guy there. I wonder how he did it."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he approached the guy and said: "Buddy, tell me how you managed to boss your woman around."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy said: "Actually, I have no idea what I'm doing here. My wife told me to come, so here I am."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's truly what happens,it's a common rule.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know what's our only shot at winning an argument against the Mrs.?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Keeping quiet.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't say a word. That's your chance to win the argument. If you open your mouth, you lost.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To the airport through downtown? Instead of getting the tunnel, just go straight.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look for the Cocheira Church and ask where Márcio lives, at the back of the church.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's a lieutenantand a musician.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He carries a paper with jokes in his pocket when he goes to parties. He's my cousin.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He numbered the jokes, so you say the number and he'll tell the respective joke on the list.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It's excellent, he has over 100 or 200 jokes.- Seriously?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seriously! Swing by and say that his cousin, Carlinhos, recommended him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good morning1
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're making a documentary called "Jokesters" and it's about people who enjoy telling jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm a former jokester, man.- Why former?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, with the coming of agemy memory is no longer as sharp.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- But you used to tell many jokes?- We used to, yes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had the habit of going to the newsstand to buy pocket books, I had a whole stock of them.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I saw something funny on TV I'd jot down the joke. That's why I carried scrap paper around.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wrote down anything that reminded me of the joke, so all I had to do was reach into my wallet and voila!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You don't have that paper anymore to show us?- No, that was a long time ago.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel and Joaquim were fishing...Actually, there were hunting.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While they were hunting, a lion sneaked up behind them and they started to run.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were running for their lives, when Joaquim climbed a tree and Manuel started to run around it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The lion was chasing Manuel, so Joaquim yelled:"Manuel, climb the tree! The lion's gonna get you!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel answered: "Don't worry, I'm two laps ahead of him!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Doctor, your mother in low passed away.Should we bury or cremate her?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Look, to be safedo both."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's pretty muchhow it goes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy was on top of a woman who was cheating and her husband shows up on the driveway.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She says: "My husband's here! Finish, finish!"The guy yells from the window: "Cuckold! Cuckold!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Clearly, the repertoire is quite limited, huh?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh no, so I'm 15 years late?- Yeah, just 15 years late.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel's mother-in-law was bothering him so much about it that he finally said: "Fine, let's take her."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she was taken to visit the Holy Land in Jerusalem.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the old lady was at the Path of Sorrow, her heart was pounding so fast that she dropped dead.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel said: "What now?Now we have to see what can be done."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once the guy from the funeral home arrives, Manuel asks: "Buddy, what do we do?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The funeral home guy says: "To bury her here will cost you U$15 thousand.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But to take the body back to Brazil will cost you U$30 thousand. What do you want to do?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel said: "I'll pay the 30 grand."The other guy said: "But why?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Because you've already had a resurrection incident here before and I don't want to take any chances."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy left the office after working lateand headed straight to a whorehouse.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once he got there, he chose a whoreand took her to a room.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was fucking her and when she came, she scratched his whole back.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was married, so he said:"Fuck! How am I going to explain this at home?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was worried about what he was going to do when his wife saw all those scratch marks.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He got home, opened the door and saw the poor cat lying down on the sofa.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he kicked it as hard as he could, the cat was thrown against the wall and ran off crying.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His wife opens the room's door and says: " 3AM is not an appropriate time for you to be coming home."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He replies: "I get home exhausted from work and the cat scratches me! Look what it did to my back!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He showed her his scratched back.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then she says: "We better put him down, because look at the hicky he left on my neck."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's your story when it comes to jokes?Henrique told me you enjoyed collecting them.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I used to have a collection. I had a notebook with about 830 jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The title of the book was going to be "English from the Countryside", but I always left it on a stool
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the boat, but when we washed it the water spilled on the notebook and the pages got stuck.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Seriously? You lost everything?- Everything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the time I approached a publisher and they said I needed at least 3 thousand jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was going to make it to 3 thousand pretty fast because that was my only focus back then.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- When was this?- This was in 1995, when I used to travel.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm also a sailor, so we here lots of things when traveling to different cities.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Around here you have to make friends with people for them to tell you jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then they become less shy and start telling jokes.If you approach them out of the blue, they get shy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They get embarrassed and hide, especially if you're filming them.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two drunks met at a barand just drank and drank and drank.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of them said: "I'm gonna go home."The other one said: "Me too."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They arrive at the house and one says: "I live here."The other one says: "I live here too."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both of them ring the door bell while they argue about the fact that both of them live there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When a woman opens the door, she says: "Very nice... father and son drunk together."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy was designing the draft of his house's blueprint.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His mother-in-law comes in and says:"What are you doing in there?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He answered: "I'm making a blueprint to live with your daughter."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She says: "Well, don't forget to set aside a little corner for me."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he changed the blueprint and made a round house, so that there wouldn't be any corners.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The husband said to his wife: "I'm going to the doctor, I don't feel very well."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The doctor asked him: "Do you drink?"He said: "On Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Thursdays, Saturdays and sometimes on Sundays."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The doctor asked: "Do you make love?"He answered: "Not often."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The doctor: "Not much love-making, huh?"He said: "No."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He got home and his wife asked:"Honey, I was worried! What did the doctor say?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He answered: "The doctor said I have to make love more often."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she went into the bathroomand put on her sexiest lingerie.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She heard him open the door outside, so she asked: "Francisco, where are you going?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "Didn't you hear what I just said?I have to make lots of love."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She cried out: "I'm right here! Can't you see me here?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He responded: "Here we go! Not you with your home remedies again."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tell us more about Mr. Lunga's story that we've been hearing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You know Mr. Lunga as well?- I've only seen a photo, I don't know him in person.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. Lunga is your typical characterthat's already known countrywide.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the type of guy that makes you pronounce everything, every comma and full stop.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to stress the right words, otherwise he'll call you out on it and he's always right.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How old is he?- He's 82 years old.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's from Juazeiro do Norte and owns a business. He sells to friends, so a guy goes to his shop
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and only pays when he can, so a man stops by and says: "Mr. Lunga, I'm here to pick up some things."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "Did you leave any thing here?"Then another guy dropped by and said:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hi, does this bus go to the beach?"Mr. Lunga said: "If you find a bikini that fits, it will."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An agricultural worker goes to his store and says:"Do you have any rat poison?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. Lunga says: "Yes, are you going to take it?"The worker: "No, I'll bring all the rats here to eat."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. Lunga called the waiter to pay the bill. So he pulls out his checkbook and the waiter says:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're going to pay with a check."Mr. Lunga says: "No, I'm gonna write you a poem."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was walking by with a bucket of fish and people asked: "Did you go fishing, Mr. Lunga?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "No, the fish committed suicide in here,so now I'm taking them home to eat."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Mr. Lunga!- Mr. Lunga's stories.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Now I'm remembering his other jokes.- He talked a lot about Mr. Lunga.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He likes Mr. Lunga too. - Mr. Lunga...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. Lunga's son cried all night, so he took him to the hospital early in the morning.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The doctor asked the kid to sit on the gurneyand started examining him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The doctor: "What is he feeling, Mr. Lunga?""Beats me! If I knew I wouldn't bring him here."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. Lunga went hunting and the group of peopleat the bar saw him carrying a tapir on his back.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of them asked: "Mr. Lunga, is that new meat?"He goes: "I don't know! I didn't ask how old it was."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. Lunga was driving on the highwaywhen he got a flat tire.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He stopped by a house, knocked and asked: "Do you have a car jack so I can fix my flat tire?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The lady said: "No, sir. You can try that house over there. The owner has a car so he might have a jack.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But if I were you I wouldn't even try because that guy is very rude."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr. Lunga said: "Well, I'm going to try!"So he knocked on the man's door.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "Good evening."- "Shove your jack up your ass. I don't need it!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's also the Arquimedes story.Arquimedes was Mr. Lunga's partner.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Arquimedes walked into a bar and said:"Cachaça for everyone!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"For you too!" pointing to the owner.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He poured cachaça for everyone and said:"Another round!" and poured more cachaça.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the end of the night he said: "Well, it's time for the cachaça sponsor to go..."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What about the bill?"He said: "Pay the bill? I don't have any money."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The owner kicked his assand Arquimedes disappeared for 3 days.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When he came back, he said: "Cachaça for everyone!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except for you because you get feisty when you drink!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- The bar owner...- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a chubby girl who was jumping so much that she looked like a landing gear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy went to the lake that existed in town.There was a kid there to whom he asked:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Do you think it's a crimeto catch fish here?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The kid looked at him and said: "I don't think it qualifies as a crime, but rather a miracle."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he stuck around and tried to fish. He didn't catch anything, when a priest arrived.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The priest threw the bait and caught one fish after the other, so the guy tapped the priest's shoulder.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Priest, what's the secret?"The priest said: "For what?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy: "I've been here all morning and didn't catch any fish. You come here and in 5 minutes
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "you have over 11 pounds of fish."- And with no bait!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The priest said: "My son, here's the deal.Before I come here
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I usually let my wandering hands stroke a woman that lives close to my house."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy said: "I'm gonna stop by my house!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once he got there, his wife was doing laundry.He sneaked up behind her and stroked her.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She didn't look back and said: "Are you going fishing, Priest?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Antônio met up with Manuel and said:"Manuel, how are you doing?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel said: "Good, thankfully."Antônio said: "Have you ever been to Manaus?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel answered: "Yes.""Did you meet up with Paulo?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manuel said: "Yes."Antônio asked: "What about Paulo's son?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "Which one?"- "The oldest one."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "He turned gay."- "No way!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "He turned gay!"- "Seriously?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "He turned gay."- "What about the middle one?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That one turned really gay."Antônio asked: "What about the youngest one?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The youngest, more or less. He's gay but only when he drinks."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "That's the lesser evil, I guess."- "But he drinks and drinks like there's no tomorrow."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a deadwoman inside a coffin.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there was a guy sitting down right next to a dog and a 300-person line.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One guy saw this line and thought: "What's this about? Something new in town?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he started to walk and didn't ask anything because he didn't want to seem nosy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He approached the guy who was sitting down and said: "Buddy, what's going on here?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He looked at the woman who didn't appear to have suffered any trauma. Her face looked perfect.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "What happened?" The guy answered: "That was caused by the dog."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "What did he do?"- "It scratched my in-law's ankle. She died."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow, can I borrow your dog?" The owner said: "Get in line."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It was full of people.- The wait list was huge.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to send my mother-in-law off like that too.I like that idea.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of these days I was at home with my wifeand I called my dog: "Totó!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He came up to me wagging his tail, which was already short like this.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got a machete, placed it on top of his tail and chopped it off. My wife looked at me and said:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What the hell? Are you crazy to chop off the dog's tail?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said: "Look, your mother is coming overand I don't want to see any hints of joy."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a good one!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the most foul-smelling animals of this region is the anteater.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We call it the collared anteater and it's foul.When people eat it, they can't stand themselves.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The farts, the sweat, the whole thing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a guy who was anxious to talk to his girlfriend, but had eaten an anteater one day earlier.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "I'm gonna go see her anyway. He got there and started to feel like passing gas.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone could smell it and looked at each other.His girl blamed the dog: "Get out of there, Totó!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy saw that the dog was underneath the chair and thought: "Holy shit, I'm so lucky."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he had to fart again so he let another fart slip.The girlfriend: "Get out of there Totó!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He thought: "Wow, I'm so lucky."On his third fart, everyone yelled:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Totó, get out of there!Otherwise that guy is gonna shit on your head!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There were robberies taking place in the bathroom all the time, but no one knew how.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One fine day a guy went inside to take a pissand suddenly a midget came in.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are somethings you just don't see in life: guyswith pictures of their mother-in-laws in their wallet,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,black refrigerators and you certainlydon't see gay midgets.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the midget approached the guy and said: "Psst" and the guy looked down at him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Let me hold it a little bit.Just a little bit."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You can't even reach it! What do you want?""I just want to hold it and suck it good."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy: "Fine, but you can't reach it!"The midget: "I have a little stool."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The midget got the stool and stood on it. He held the guy's dick, lubricated it and put it in his mouth.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When he put it in his mouth, he squeezed it and said: "This is a robbery!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hand over your wallet and everything you own!If you react, I'm going to jump off the stool!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a guy named Paulão who always cheated on his wife.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One day at 10 in the morning, he picked up a midget about this size.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He put her in his car and left.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of his friends saw him holding hands with the midget and said:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Paulão, are you going to score some lunch?"He answered :"No, right now I'm scoring a snack."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy from Minas Gerais found Aladdin's lamp,so he rubbed it and out came the genie.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The genie said: "You have earned three wishes.What's your first wish?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy said: "I want a cheese."The genie: "And your second wish?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I want a woman.""And your third wish?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"One more cheese." His friends: "Why two cheeses and one woman?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He replied: "I got embarrassed to ask for 3 cheeses, so I put a woman in the mix to mislead the genie."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You're a teacher?- I'm a Math teacher.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How would you describeyour relationship with comedy?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look Gustavo, it's quite spontaneous.It seems like it's innate.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would say that it's innate because I experience and enjoy happiness.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I always say the following: "We don't have sadness and joy resides within us.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If we're ordered to sing, we'll sing.If we're ordered to cry, we'll cry."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two guys worked together on the fieldand every day when they were on their way home
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they stopped at a local bar and ordered two pinga shots.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The owner of the bar got used to itand always expected them there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They'd have one pinga shot each and didn't play pool or eat snacks - they went straight home.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One day one of them said: "My friend, I always think about when one of us passes away...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's going to be so boring. The one who stays will come to the bar and have a pinga shot?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The friend answered: "No buddy,we could make a pact.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The one that stays has his own pinga shotand the other friend's shot as well."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After a few years, one of them died.The other remained alive and thought:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, we were just joking around but who's to say it can't be a reality. A deal is a deal."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he went to the bar and ordered two pinga shots. The owner of the bar questioned him:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But your partner is gone and you'regoing to order two pingas anyway?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "It's just that we made a pact. Whoever lived on would drink the other one's shot."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The owner said: "Oh, I see!" He poured the two shots and served them.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The years went by and the owner of the bar got used to the system, always serving two shots.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One day when the owner was serving the two shots, the guy said: "No, I only want one."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "Why? I don't understand!"- "I quit drinking, so I'll just have my friend's shot."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had an older lady meet up with me and she was with a girl, probably her granddaughter
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was looking pretty ill, so I thought she must've eaten too much and got fucked up.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I saw her getting sick and said:"Miss, she got fucked, huh?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said: "Yes, but she'll get married! God be willing!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said: "No, not like that Miss."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you memorize easily?- You don't have to memorize the good stuff.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Silly jokes are easy.My wife gets mad though.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She doesn't appreciate it because I'm like this 24/7.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's see if he's there?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Good afternoon! How are you sweety?- All's good!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm here with some people from a production company in São Paulo.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They approached me to ask if I could tell some jokes and I thought of your husband.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is he there? Would he be available?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Let me check, because he has the flu.- Please check! It can't hurt, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you guys enjoy telling jokes?- We do.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every once in a while, we'll yell to each other:"I've got a new one!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'll stop the car in the middle of the street and say:"Come here, let me tell you a new joke!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It's part of my vocabulary.- We tell them even when we're inside the Church.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No, it's not allowed in the Church.- We tell jokes wherever, even at a funeral.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- The gaucho joke?- Let's do it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The gaucho get home and sees his daughter with a vibrator.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He says: "Honey, there are so many men out there and you're using a vibrator! What's that about?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The daughter: "Dad, this one doesn't drink, smoke or get home late and it can't get me pregnant."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The dad said: "When you put it that way, it's fine."Days later, she walked into him with the vibrator.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said: "Dad, what the hell?" Her dad: "I'm having a chat with my son-in-law!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's exactly like this - every time I bump into him, he has a new treat for us.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's funny because from the moment you retire, which I have,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you resort to telling jokes. If you tell me one, I will never forget it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I might get blurry on the details,but I'll never forget it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I don't remember other things, though.- But you remember jokes?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I always remember jokes, believe it or not.It's peculiar, isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'll find him behind the soccer field, going down this street.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He's called Lúcio Paca- Lúcio what?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Lúcio Paca.- So I head down that way...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You head down that way, go around the church all the way to the soccer field.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Okay, I look for Lúcio Paca?- Lúcio Paca.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Let's go! - Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we're here, man.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're making a documentaryabout people who enjoy telling jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good jokesters, you know? Quinzinho from the gas station told us to look for him here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He just left to do a job.- Really?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yeah, he'll be back in an hour or so.- Yeah?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He does like to joke around.- He does, doesn't he?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yes.- And he's a funny guy?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yes. Come back later and you'll find him.- Okay, we'll try calling him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We'll give him a call.- Get him prepped to tell us some some jokes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He really is a total clown.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We'll try again later.- What do you recommend guys?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the tone, please record your message.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He must be averse to it... She said she wasn't sure if he had taken his cell phone with him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think the only thing we can do is go back and see if he's home.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lúcio?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lúcio?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The TV is on, but there's no one here. Do you think they're avoiding us?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Could you call Lúcio for us, please?- He's inside the room.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- This white door here?- Yes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Do you think you could call him?- He's shy!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He's shy? He doesn't want to come here?- No.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me talk to him with the camera off, then.We won't film anything. Cut.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We went to the gas station and spoke to Quinzinho. He said you're a good jokester.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's see each other at the gas station tomorrow.We meet there every day for coffee.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, really? Which gas station?- The one where Quinzinho works.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We go at 05:30 AM and stay there until 08:00 AM.Afterwards, we go our own ways.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can meet you there at around 06:00 AM.Start thinking about some jokes, okay?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It just has to be funny, that's all.- Jokes have to be funny, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No point in telling a joke that isn't funny...I'll tell you the joke about the curious guy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Right now?- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Let's hear it. - This is the joke about the curious guy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There once was a guy who was very curious.He was too curious and wanted to know everything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there was another fellow who owed some guy money.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The lender went over to the curious guy and said: "I'm gonna ask for my cash, he doesn't want to pay."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He's such a lousy borrower!" So they went over to his house to collect.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once they get there, the lender says: "I'm here for my cash. I want my money!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The curious guy was listening when the borrower said "I will never pay" and shot himself in the ear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the borrower shot himself in the ear,he collapsed on the floor.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The lender got the gun and also shot himself in the ear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm getting my money. I don't care if I have to go to hell and back for it!" and shot himself in the ear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The curious guy stood there, unsure of what to do. He was so curious that he held the gun and said:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I won't miss this fightfor anything in the world."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Lúcio even told us a little joke.- He did?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He told the joke about the curious guy, you know?- I know that one!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It's taking too long.- Do you want to go there?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Let's?- Or do you think it's better to go alone?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that if you guys go, he won't come.I'll go and I know what to do.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Lúcio, the other guys haven't shown up yet!"He'll come with me then.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Am I right?- "They said they'd come, but didn't."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "I went there and they never showed!"- "They stood us up."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna make him come.Once he gets here, there's no turning back.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'll go get him.- Okay.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Well?- He said he had to go to Sumidouro.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He told me to tell you that he couldn't make it today, it'll have to be some other time.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I told him it had to be right now, but he bailed.- He bailed? I can't believe it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We went over to his place yesterday.- You guys made arrangements and everything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How are you?Do you work here at the market?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm making a documentary about people who enjoy telling jokes - funny people who are good jokesters.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- First aisle, second left.- What's that?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Second aisle to the left. They boy's name is Araújo.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, how are you?Is Araújo around?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Are you Araújo?- Yeah.