WEBVTT 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Let's go to the other side? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This is the deal: we're looking for a fisherman here to tell us a joke. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Hey dude.- Will anybody here tell us a joke or not? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - No.- We're shooting a documentary. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - We're bad at telling jokes around here.- Any good joke-tellers around here? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - You'll find good jokesters down that way.- Where? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Down that way.There are plenty of fishermen there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Do any of you know howto tell a joke by any chance? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - I don't.- It depends on the intensity of the joke. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - What do I get if I tell a joke?- I'm starting to think that you guys tell jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We are shooting a documentaryabout fishermen telling jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Oh?- No one knows anything around here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Just a quick little joke!- I can't. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Not even a short one?- Not even a very short one. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do you know how to tell jokes by any chance?- Oh... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Not for now.- Not now? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Not even a short one?- No. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Try that camp because there's a crowd over there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hi, do you guys knowhow to tell jokes at all? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes, but can'tthink of any right now. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But wouldn't you want to tell us one?We're making a documentary 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 about jokesters and I'm trying to finda fisherman who is good at telling jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Can we go over there and you'll tell us one?- If you say there isn't any fish here, that's a joke. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - No jokesters over there?- No, maybe you'll find one over there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - No jokes?- None. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sunset xxx... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hi buddy, how are you?Are there any people around this market that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you know as the funny guy, the one everyone knows is the jokester? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Actually, there are several but most of them are busy today. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Sunday is a busy day.- Give me an example and I'll get them off duty. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If you pass that butcher's shop, you'll find a fat guy there called Tidão. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He's the man in this market. He is funny by nature, just like Mussum. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He doesn't even have to tell a joketo get everyone to laugh. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - What's his name?- Tidão, you can look for Tidão. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Okay, I'll go there. Thank you.- No problem. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do you know where Tidão is?- Over here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Here's the thing, we are making a documentary about jokesters. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There was a guy from Cuiabá and a guy from Bahia fishing. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They fished and had no luck catching any fish, but the guy from Cuiabá was there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 annoyed with a fly that kept going back and forth. He said that he caught the fly and stopped in time. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He caught it and said: "Hey fly, if you had a bigger butt I'd fuck you in the ass." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So the guy from Bahia stood up,bent over and said: "Buzzzz." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's a good one...A Poconian left here and went to São Paulo. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Who?- A Poconian. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - What's a Poconian?- Someone from the city of Poconé, in Mato Grosso. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he departs to São Paulo and once he gets there, he waits for the subway at the railway track. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 People start yelling: "Get out of there!Step away from the track!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They tackled him and the train proceeded to wreck his bike, running over everything. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he came back and once hearrived to his hometown in Poconé 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it was Christmas time and so his boss's store was decorated with a train. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he ran indoors, got a 12-inch gun and offed the Christmas decoration. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 His boss said: "Have you lost it?Why would you do something like that?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He answered: "Don't be naive, boss. We have to off this beast while it's still a child. When it grows up..." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The guy came up and said the following:"Priest, how does the church tithe system work?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The priest said: "Well, it's 50% for the diocese,and 50% for me." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then he approached a rabbi and said: "Rabbi, how does the church tithe system work?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The rabbi answered:"It's 70% for the diocese, 30% for me." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then he went to the minister and said: "Minister, how does the tithe system work?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Here, we take the money and throw it up in the air. If Jesus catches it, it's his. If it drops, it's mine." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Are you a truck driver? Do you drive across Brazil or just around here? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Mato Grosso, Goiás, Minas Gerais and Rondônia.- What kind of cargo do you take? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Anything you've got.- Anything. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Don't you have any truck driver jokes?- No man, we work hard. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We don't have time for that, all we do is work.No time for jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A Brazilian and an Argentine were walking and they don't get along, right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then, they found a magic lamp.They rubbed it and a genie comes out. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The genie grants each one of them a wish, but the Argentine thinks it isn't fair. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he says: "Genie, I want you to build a wallaround my entire country... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "... because I don't Brazilian intruders in my country." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The genie snaps his fingers and a 20-ft wall surges.He then asks the Brazilian what his wish is. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The Brazilian says:"Please fill the space inside the wall with water." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - He just laughs...- Come over here to tell one. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Grab a chair.- Come here to tell us a joke. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're gonna tella joke here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The gaucho was on vacationso he went to the Pantanal to see what it's like. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He got there, met with the house's caretakerand the caretaker said: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Gaucho, I'm gonna show you something."They go to a dam and the caretaker holds a stick. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - He whistled and an alligator appeared.- Where's the whistle? Do the whistle. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't know how to whistle! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He would whistle,how does one whistle? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do it again?- Now I ran out of stock. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So the alligator appeared and the guy from Pantanal hit the alligator's head with the stick. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He yelled: "Easy!" to the alligator and removed it from the water. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The alligator came out slowly and whenever the alligator resisted, he would hit it on the head. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So the Pantanal caretaker said to the gaucho:"Do you want to try?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I do, but I just don't know if I cantake all those blows to my head." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's a true story. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So the guy bought a 4x4 truck. He gets home with his 0 kilometer brand new truck. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He parked the truck and went to take a showerto go out with his date, right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When he came back, a drunk saw the "4x4", got a nail and scratched the car with "=16." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The drunk scratched both sides. The owner saw it and took it to the repair shop. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Three days later the truck was parked in the same place and the drunk wrote: "4x4=16." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 By the third time it happened, the owner decided to renovate the truck and put a sticker on it that read 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 4x4=16 and he thought to himself:"What will the drunk do now?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The drunk saw the sticker, so he picked up the nail and scratched a check mark on the car. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's a good one! It was wrong before? Now it's right, so let's just scratch the whole thing. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - With a white-out, like from school.- Seriously, you've got better than that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's not cool. You weren't doing anything, I invited you over and now you're making fun of me? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 People from the South don't like people from Mato Grosso because of their color. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So a driver from Cuiabá went to the South. He switches gear over and over until he gets there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I can't remember the town's name, but once he gets there, he says: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I need a toilet."In Mato Grosso, we say toilet. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he goes to the store and says:"I need a toilet." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - "Where are you from?"- "I'm a Cuiabano, from the state of Cuiabá." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The guy answers:"In the South it's not a toilet, it's called a Cuiabano." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - "That's messed up, don't you think?"- "What size do you want?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Give me one that'll fit 4 or 5 guys from the South inside." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A guy from Cuiabá wanted to go to Rio de Janeiro, he was obsessed with Rio. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he bought a brand new car. He went to Cuiabá to buy it and returned to Poconé. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He got there all excited and said: "I'm gonna go to Rio, I'm gonna see Rio." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 His friends said: "What, man? Don't got there. The people from Rio are gonna eat you alive." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The guy from Cuiabá answere:"Cuiabanos are tough. I'll go and you'll see." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In 15 minutes he got in the car and went. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He drives and drives and drives.He kept saying: "We, from Poconé, are tough." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Once he got to Rio he had to take a shit, but he looked around and didn't want to get the car dirty. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He got out and took a shit, but there was no paper so he wiped himself with a nettle leaf. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He'd never seen nettle before, so he wiped himself and started to feel an itch in the car. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When he was 300km away from Rio the itch was really bad, so he thought: "What will I do now?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "You know what? I'll turn around and go back. If I'm already itching now, by the time I'm there..." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he turns the car around and returns, but at least he didn't get eaten alive. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Very tough.- Manly! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 My asshole and his asshole were talking. My asshole said to his: "Hi, are you a virgin?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 His asshole replied:"Of course not!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You're a truck driver so you musthave truck driver jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - No, I don't have any.- Sure you do. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - We work too hard.- You have at least one. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - No, I don't.- You must have one trucker joke. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - I can't remember any.- You know you do. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Truck driver, truck driver... nope!You think I'm crazy to trash talk about myself? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's not trash talk.It's making fun of other truck drivers, not you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Fine, there was this guy driving a 16x20 truck loaded with vegetables back and forth. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He gets a receipt stamped at the Tax Station, so when the Highway Patrol he gives them the receipt. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The price on the document is correct, so they ask him to weigh the banana load. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's 1000 pounds over the limit, so the police says "You're arrested, but I'll let you go." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "But first, you'll have to shove all thosebananas you know where." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The truck driver started to laugh, shoving the bananas and laughing hysterically. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The police said: "Are you crazy, man? Shoving bananas and then laughing about it?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - "It's funny!"- "Why?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "My friend is coming down with 3000 kilos, except his load is full of pineapples!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Anybody there? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 All the windowsare closed. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr. João? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Anybody there? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Can I come a little closer? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Does that dog bite? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Let me ask you something. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - We're looking for Mr. João Borba.- João Borba lives over there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I know, but do you know where he is? I went there, we knocked and called him. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - They're in Cuiabá.- Oh no, seriously? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do you know when they return? Did they say?- His brother is taking care of the kids. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I think they come back tomorrow, or tonight. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're shooting a documentaryabout jokesters. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Look, we're Evangelical Christians.- So he won't tell stories? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He tells stories, but he's also Evangelical. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - And Evangelicals can't tell jokes?- No, it doesn't please God. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - It doesn't please God.- But doesn't it depend on the joke? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 No, it doesn't please God. For us to go to heaven, we have to be clean and pure. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I know, but jokes don't have to be necessarily dirty, right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He does tell jokes, except that when he tells them to us, he tells them differently. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Like the PG version, huh?- Yeah, the lighter versions. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 24 hours later 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Good afternoon! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - How are you?- Good. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Is João Terêncio around, by any chance.- He isn't. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - I can't believe it, he isn't?- No. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Will he come back?- The kid who works for him says he'll return tonight. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Are you sure? Everyone said he was supposed to come yesterday. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - So we went all the way to Lucas and came back...- The kid he'll come back tonight. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - What time today?- He said he'll arrive late. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - But he'll come back for sure, right?- Maybe late at night. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - What time is the bus? Is he riding the bus?- I don't know how he's getting here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It appears we didn't make it.We won't meet Mr. João Terêncio this time around. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - XXX- Yeah, we were. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr. João Terêncio won't be a jokester in our movie.At least not in Jokesters Part I. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You know what fieldworkers are liketo pay things on credits and start up tabs... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Vicente gets to a store and a woman says: "Don't bother coming in, you can't buy booze on credit." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He said: "I don't want booze."I quit drinking." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There was a glass deposit with coconut candy inside. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he said:"Get me a coconut candy." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The woman handed him the candy, so he lookedat it and said: "How much does it cost?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The woman said: "It's 50 cents."He replied: "What about the cachaça?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The woman said: "It's also 50 cents."He said: "Take the candy and give me the booze." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He drank it and left, so the woman said: "Hey, funny guy! You gonna pay for the booze or what?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He replied: "What do you mean?Didn't I exchange it for my coconut candy? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She said: "So pay for the coconut candy!"He answered: "Did I eat coconut candy?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Good morning! Where is Alto do Jucá?- Alto do Jucá? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Up that street.- Up that way? How far, more or less? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - From here it's about...- 200km. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - No, it's more than that...- More... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Yeah, but it's not much more.Just go up that way on the first sign. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do you know Rogério?- Rogério? Who is Rogério? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Clown.- Yes! He's a customer here at the store. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Really? He lives over there?- I'm not sure of the exact location. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - He's funny, right?- Yeah, he's very funny. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's the guard I think.He looks like a watchman. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Could I get some informationhere please? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Good morning!- Good morning. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Where is Alto do Jucá?- Oh, you can go that way... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Take a right after the first speed bump.- First speed bump, to the right. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You drive past the first, second and third roads and then his dad's house is right upfront. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Good morning!- Good morning! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do you know the Clown?- That's me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 What's up?Was it is hard or easy to find me? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It was hard and easy.How are you? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Let's get out of the car.- Let's go. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's a movie about jokesterswho are not very famous. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We are basically looking for these people, which is why we called you last minute. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Somebody mentioned you, we called, we're here and the rest is history. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We wanted to hear a little bit about you.How and why did you start telling jokes? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Where did this urge to tell jokes come from? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Jokes... I was funny ever since I was a kid.I never liked taking anything too seriously. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 My thing was to mess around.I liked pranks. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I started working on a project, doing theater pieces and working as a clown. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 After a while I realized that clown's couldn't be comedians - either you're a comedian or a clown. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Everyone in my family works. I didn't like it, so I started telling jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I never did like it. Sometimes I'll be at home and my mom will say: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Son, get out there and try to find something to do."I say: "No, I'm too afraid I'll find it." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I don't go. I say it's better to stay put at home, am I right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But it's the truth, I really like joking around.It's my life. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm very outgoing, I like to play around. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When I try to be serious, people start laughing anyway. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They'll say: "You're joking right?You're not serious." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 As you can see, the married man is fatter than the single man. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I drew a conclusion from this. It's a story I made up and it's true. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Why? The single guy comes home and what does he do? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He goes directly to the fridge, opens it and says:"Man, not this again! Not soda and crackers!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I'm going to bed instead."He gets under the sheets and goes to bed. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The married guy goes to bed, gets under the sheets and says: "Not this again! I'm going to the fridge!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He goes, eats everything he wants and gets fat.That's why married guys are fatter than single guys. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A guy walks into a bar and says: "Hi, get me a liter of cachaça and a roast chicken." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The waiter brings it to him. He pours him a liter and serves the chicken. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So the customer looks to both sides and says: "I'm going to examine this chicken!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He stuck his finger inside the chicken's you know what, smelled it and said: "I don't want it!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "This chicken came from Fortaleza. I don't like chicken from Fortaleza!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The waiter said: "Here we go!This guy is doing a prostate screening!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Sticks his finger in there and he knows where it comes from! That chicken really is from Fortaleza." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The client says: "I don't want it, you can take it."So the waiter brought another chicken. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When the other chicken was there, he looked to the sides and stuck his finger in the chicken again. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He sniffed and said: "I don't want this one either. It's from here, it's from Ceará." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So the local bar owner said: "Bring him one of thegross ones from Véia Toinha. He won't guess that!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When the chicken was at the customer's table, helooked to the sides and then stuck his finger in it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He sniffed it and said: "Whoa! My good friend from Véia Toinha! This one came from there, right?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The owner said: "Wow kid! You're really good.This chicken did come from Véia Toinha. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "You stick your finger in there as if it were a prostatescreening, sniff it and find out where it's from." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The drunk stood up and said: "No offense, but could you stick yours up mine? I've been lost for 3 days." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Do you know anyone who is good at telling jokes by any chance? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 His dad owns that ceramic shop over there - Arara Cermamics. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Go ahead, he's there.- Where is it? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Arara Ceramics.- Oh, it's inside the ceramics shop. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Yeah.Go ahead, you'll find him there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Does Giovanni work here? We're shooting a movie about jokesters. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Funny people and stuff like that. I heard he's a good story and joke teller, right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Yeah, he's even published a book this year.- Can I see? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There's some people here from São Paulo.I'm going to put you through. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - That's him.- Giovanni? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hello? Giovanni? Hi, I'm Gustavo from São Paulo. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're shooting a documentary about jokesters. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're on a quest across Brazil and you came in highly recommended 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as a potential jokester, so we were thinking about dropping by to have a word with you. Could we? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Arara Ceramics, got it. I'll get directions, but it should take me half an hour. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hi, good morning! I'm here to see Giovanni. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Giovanni!- Gustavo? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - That's me!- Dude, what are you doing in this jungle? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - How are you doing?- All's good. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - This is Chico.- Chico! How are you doing, bro? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - I'm good.- This is our photographer and that guy is André. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - André, what's up?- So we find out that you wrote a book, is that right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Seven books!- So not just one, seven. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - And I thought it was just one...- No, there were several. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Man, can you give me a minute?- I'll give you two. In fact, I'll give you seven! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Wait for me over there, make yourself at home.- Okay. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So tell me, what's your relationship with jokes and comedy like? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In fact, we're throwing thetenth FHC event here in Iguatu in August. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We created it and we pay tribute to the ACM. FHC is the Ceará Comedy Festival. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And ACM is a friend of ours from herecalled Airton Cachorra Magra. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He was honored.It all starts with a prank. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The current mayor of Iguatu is a friend of mine,Aderilo Alcântara. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You can go to São Paulo, New York, Paris,anywhere... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And he goes to a lot of funerals. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Over 2 thousand funerals, he's a well-known guy.- Let me understand... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - He likes to go to funerals to...- Market himself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If he's not at the square with the Cathedral when there's a funeral it's because he's out of town. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One of these daysan outcast criminal died. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So the mayor looked at him at the funeral and said:"A good citizen, a role model family man. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "A great head of the family."And the widow said to her son: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Go check if it's reallyyour father inside that coffin." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The guy was the biggest scumbag. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then there's this other guy called João Lázaro.He's the town Councillor. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The fact is that João Lázaro made some extra cash and went to Juazeiro get prescription glasses. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Those prescription glasses that you can get for 2 to 3 bucks. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And he was giving prescription glasses to everyonein Iguatu, until an old lady heard about it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The poor lady went up to him and said: "Mr. Lázaro, please give me good glasses 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "because I can't read the letters thatmy children have been sending me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Give me glasses and get 8 votes from my house."That's how things work here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he reached into the bottom of the bag,handed a pair of coke-bottle glasses to her. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The old lady put them in her purseand walked to the fair. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Once she got to the fair, she put the glasses onand then asked a vendor: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Sir, how much does a kilo of those beans cost?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He answered: "I wouldn't knowbecause I'm selling sesame seeds." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There's another government-related incident where 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a man was in an accident and lost a legand Cidal wanted a doctor's statement every year. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He would always bring one saying:"Mr. Antônio Queiroz de Oliveira 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "herewith declares that he haslost his leg and therefore cannot work, etc." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One fine year, he got fed up and wrote: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I herewith declare that Antônio Queiroz de Oliveiralost his leg and it will never grow back." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that was that. They stopped asking for it. Crazy, right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You honk, you callYou wink, you win me over 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Love mototaxiYou honk, call, wink, win me over 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Love mototaxiParked at the square with the powerful bike 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ToothpickFatal smile 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Midday sunScorching heat 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Calling the clients overWith a sexy voice 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 MoralityMorality... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The love mototaxi is a real thing.The driver is a a true womanizer, you know? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He has several client's in his cell phone, so we wrote the song based on this story. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - So it's a real-life character?- Real-life, the Love Mototaxi. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So people just call him for a ride or do they call him to get the full service? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes it's both. He'll take them home and give the full service. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There's a joke in which a guy says:"Dude, you know that guy from dumpcart? He died." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The other guy says: "Seriously? How?""He hit the truck and flew through the windshield." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One friend: "So he died from the hit."The other friend: "No, he's still alive 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but he fell inside the house. He came in through the window, hit the wardrobe and it fell on top of him. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The wardrobe tumbled on top of him."The friend squeals: "He was crushed!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Not at all! He lifted the wardrobe, but leaned on a socket 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "220 volts."The friend yells: "He was electrocuted to death!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "He frantically ran down the stairs. He was still alive but fell down the entire flight." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The friend said: "He broke his neck and died!""No, he got up and leaned on a a panhandle 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "which tipped over with boiling oil.""Now he died!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "He still managed to get stuck under the fridge."The friend finally asked: "What did he die of?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I shot him in the face.""You killed the guy?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "The guy was wrecking my entire house!He was destroying everything!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You're the one who's going to take me. I'm going, I'm going. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Check, check. Is it working? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Let's go. - Let's! Where are we going? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - I don't know, you're the local.- Yeah, but I'm not from here man. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I live here but I'm not from here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I've always written comedies, since I was a kid. I would write and write and write. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Except I've always been the shyest person in the world. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I never pictured myself on a stage. I thought one day I'd have the courage to do it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but it's like those people who say they want to skydive someday, you know? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 My version of skydiving is to go up onstage. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm a nerd, when it comes to relationships my reference is Mario and Princess Peach. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I have a theory that Mario was somewhat inspired by the porn industry. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Only in the porn industry it's possible to accept the premise that a princess would marry a plumber. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Greek mythology is amongmy favorite topics. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I think Greek gods are so badass. Like the God of Fire, the Sun God, the Water God... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And our God is just God. Like God, period. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I get the feeling that our God went to collegeand never wanted to get his graduate degree. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He held back, you know?Kind of lazy or maybe he was low on cash... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 To this day they sell stand-up show ticketsfeaturing characters here in Porto Alegre. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I think that's why people get confused, especially here in Porto Alegre 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 about what is stand-up and what isn't. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There's a famous show here, I think it's called "Ladies First" and it's the most famous one... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They sold themselves as stand-up comedy,except they used characters. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it's not stand-up. In my view, it's not stand-up comedy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 What's the difference between stand-up and characters? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In stand-up, I'm free from characters.I'm unarmed, you know? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If I'm not funny, it's because I really wasn't funny. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'll be down all week becauseI wasn't funny. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If the character isn't funny, it's the actual persona that isn't funny. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Like, a character switch,you know? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It must be kind of a drag to be friends with God. Like being God's best friend. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because God is God, right? If you go up to him and tell him something, he'll say: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I know, dude. I'm God." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The good thing about stand-up is that we can work with whatever is going on currently. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're always active, we're always writing. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Our text has an expiry date. This week's show might not work next month. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I hate rehearsing, I prefer to wing it. See what happens, you know? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't show anybody what I'm going to do beforehand. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do you write it...- I jot it down and keep it to myself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Do you laugh on your own?- Yeah. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So other than working with comedy,I also study Journalism. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm going to major in Journalism soon, so I'll be a Comedian and a Journalist. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In other words, I'm trying very hard to remain unemployed. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The ideal person to be in Brazilian journalism is William Bonner. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Everybody thinks they'll be just like William Bonner. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But William Bonner is an exception man, because William Bonner is a badass. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He's extremely competent. If you stop to think about it... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the Globo network made him the anchor of the National News. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And nowadays, he's like Chief Editor of the thing.Like, Globo got him a woman co-anchor 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and he married her. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She wanted to get pregnant and he gave her triplets. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In just one fuck. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hello, Jean?So, let me explain. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm working on a documentaryabout people who tell jokes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and we're going to swingby Araranguá soon. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I wanted to know if you'd liketo tell us some of your jokes? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sure you are, my mother recommended you!Are you sure? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You sure you don't want to? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 No, that's fine. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 No, it's okay.Alright. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Thanks, take care.Bye. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Didn't want to. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He didn't want to. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 1 minute later 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hello, Jean? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But Jean, it's a very simple ordeal.We'll just get there and talk. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You have no obligation with the movieor anything like that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're filming a bunch of people and I thought of you because Araranguá is in our way. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Okay, thanks Jean!Great, bye. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Jeane called and said: "No, I talked to him and he's gonna do it. He'll tell you himself." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She put him on the phone and he said: "Now she wants me to do it at any cost! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "I guess I'll do it then. I have to."So now we're heading there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 How did this tradition of telling jokes come about? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 No, I'm not really a jokester. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm the guy in a crowd that everyone thinks is witty,I reason quickly. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm the guy that always has a joke at the tip of the tongue for anything that anybody might say. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Somebody will say something stupid and then you say something even more stupid. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - That's pretty much how it works.- So when we called you didn't understand anything. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I didn't. I thought: "That's not really my thing. How am I going to talk about this stuff?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's really hard, but then the wife,who tells us what to do 107% of the time 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 picked up the phone...She's laughing but she knows it's true. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She said: "Call back and tell Francisco you'll do it." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Since we have to obey due to the hierarchy... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There's a joke that goes like this: A guy goes to heaven and saw two doors. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Actually, there were two lines towards a couple of doors that said the following: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Men Who Are Bossed Around by Women and Men Who Boss Women Around. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The Men Who Are Bossed Around by Women door was completely full 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and there was just one guy in the line for theMen Who Boss Women Around door. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then one guy who was at the back of the line said: "There's just one guy there. I wonder how he did it." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he approached the guy and said: "Buddy, tell me how you managed to boss your woman around." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The guy said: "Actually, I have no idea what I'm doing here. My wife told me to come, so here I am." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And it's truly what happens,it's a common rule. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Do you know what's our only shot at winning an argument against the Mrs.? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Keeping quiet. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Don't say a word. That's your chance to win the argument. If you open your mouth, you lost. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 To the airport through downtown? Instead of getting the tunnel, just go straight. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Look for the Cocheira Church and ask where Márcio lives, at the back of the church. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He's a lieutenantand a musician. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He carries a paper with jokes in his pocket when he goes to parties. He's my cousin. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He numbered the jokes, so you say the number and he'll tell the respective joke on the list. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - It's excellent, he has over 100 or 200 jokes.- Seriously? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Seriously! Swing by and say that his cousin, Carlinhos, recommended him. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Good morning1 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're making a documentary called "Jokesters" and it's about people who enjoy telling jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - I'm a former jokester, man.- Why former? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Well, with the coming of agemy memory is no longer as sharp. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - But you used to tell many jokes?- We used to, yes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I had the habit of going to the newsstand to buy pocket books, I had a whole stock of them. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When I saw something funny on TV I'd jot down the joke. That's why I carried scrap paper around. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I wrote down anything that reminded me of the joke, so all I had to do was reach into my wallet and voila! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - You don't have that paper anymore to show us?- No, that was a long time ago. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Manuel and Joaquim were fishing...Actually, there were hunting. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 While they were hunting, a lion sneaked up behind them and they started to run. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They were running for their lives, when Joaquim climbed a tree and Manuel started to run around it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The lion was chasing Manuel, so Joaquim yelled:"Manuel, climb the tree! The lion's gonna get you!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Manuel answered: "Don't worry, I'm two laps ahead of him!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Doctor, your mother in low passed away.Should we bury or cremate her?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Look, to be safedo both." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's pretty muchhow it goes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A guy was on top of a woman who was cheating and her husband shows up on the driveway. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She says: "My husband's here! Finish, finish!"The guy yells from the window: "Cuckold! Cuckold!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Clearly, the repertoire is quite limited, huh? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Oh no, so I'm 15 years late?- Yeah, just 15 years late. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Manuel's mother-in-law was bothering him so much about it that he finally said: "Fine, let's take her." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So she was taken to visit the Holy Land in Jerusalem. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When the old lady was at the Path of Sorrow, her heart was pounding so fast that she dropped dead. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Manuel said: "What now?Now we have to see what can be done." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Once the guy from the funeral home arrives, Manuel asks: "Buddy, what do we do?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The funeral home guy says: "To bury her here will cost you U$15 thousand. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "But to take the body back to Brazil will cost you U$30 thousand. What do you want to do?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Manuel said: "I'll pay the 30 grand."The other guy said: "But why?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Because you've already had a resurrection incident here before and I don't want to take any chances." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A guy left the office after working lateand headed straight to a whorehouse. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Once he got there, he chose a whoreand took her to a room. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He was fucking her and when she came, she scratched his whole back. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He was married, so he said:"Fuck! How am I going to explain this at home?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He was worried about what he was going to do when his wife saw all those scratch marks. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He got home, opened the door and saw the poor cat lying down on the sofa. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he kicked it as hard as he could, the cat was thrown against the wall and ran off crying. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 His wife opens the room's door and says: " 3AM is not an appropriate time for you to be coming home." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He replies: "I get home exhausted from work and the cat scratches me! Look what it did to my back!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He showed her his scratched back. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then she says: "We better put him down, because look at the hicky he left on my neck." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 What's your story when it comes to jokes?Henrique told me you enjoyed collecting them. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Yeah, I used to have a collection. I had a notebook with about 830 jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The title of the book was going to be "English from the Countryside", but I always left it on a stool 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 on the boat, but when we washed it the water spilled on the notebook and the pages got stuck. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Seriously? You lost everything?- Everything. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 At the time I approached a publisher and they said I needed at least 3 thousand jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was going to make it to 3 thousand pretty fast because that was my only focus back then. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - When was this?- This was in 1995, when I used to travel. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm also a sailor, so we here lots of things when traveling to different cities. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Around here you have to make friends with people for them to tell you jokes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then they become less shy and start telling jokes.If you approach them out of the blue, they get shy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They get embarrassed and hide, especially if you're filming them. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Two drunks met at a barand just drank and drank and drank. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One of them said: "I'm gonna go home."The other one said: "Me too." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They arrive at the house and one says: "I live here."The other one says: "I live here too." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Both of them ring the door bell while they argue about the fact that both of them live there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When a woman opens the door, she says: "Very nice... father and son drunk together." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A guy was designing the draft of his house's blueprint. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 His mother-in-law comes in and says:"What are you doing in there?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He answered: "I'm making a blueprint to live with your daughter." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She says: "Well, don't forget to set aside a little corner for me." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So he changed the blueprint and made a round house, so that there wouldn't be any corners. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The husband said to his wife: "I'm going to the doctor, I don't feel very well." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The doctor asked him: "Do you drink?"He said: "On Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Thursdays, Saturdays and sometimes on Sundays." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The doctor asked: "Do you make love?"He answered: "Not often." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The doctor: "Not much love-making, huh?"He said: "No." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He got home and his wife asked:"Honey, I was worried! What did the doctor say?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He answered: "The doctor said I have to make love more often." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So she went into the bathroomand put on her sexiest lingerie. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She heard him open the door outside, so she asked: "Francisco, where are you going?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He said: "Didn't you hear what I just said?I have to make lots of love." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She cried out: "I'm right here! Can't you see me here?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He responded: "Here we go! Not you with your home remedies again." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Tell us more about Mr. Lunga's story that we've been hearing. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - You know Mr. Lunga as well?- I've only seen a photo, I don't know him in person. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr. Lunga is your typical characterthat's already known countrywide. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He's the type of guy that makes you pronounce everything, every comma and full stop. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You have to stress the right words, otherwise he'll call you out on it and he's always right. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - How old is he?- He's 82 years old. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He's from Juazeiro do Norte and owns a business. He sells to friends, so a guy goes to his shop 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and only pays when he can, so a man stops by and says: "Mr. Lunga, I'm here to pick up some things." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He said: "Did you leave any thing here?"Then another guy dropped by and said: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Hi, does this bus go to the beach?"Mr. Lunga said: "If you find a bikini that fits, it will." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 An agricultural worker goes to his store and says:"Do you have any rat poison?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr. Lunga says: "Yes, are you going to take it?"The worker: "No, I'll bring all the rats here to eat." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr. Lunga called the waiter to pay the bill. So he pulls out his checkbook and the waiter says: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "You're going to pay with a check."Mr. Lunga says: "No, I'm gonna write you a poem." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He was walking by with a bucket of fish and people asked: "Did you go fishing, Mr. Lunga?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He said: "No, the fish committed suicide in here,so now I'm taking them home to eat." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Mr. Lunga!- Mr. Lunga's stories. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - Now I'm remembering his other jokes.- He talked a lot about Mr. Lunga. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 - He likes Mr. Lunga too. - Mr. Lunga... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr. Lunga's son cried all night, so he took him to the hospital early in the morning. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The doctor asked the kid to sit on the gurneyand started examining him. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The doctor: "What is he feeling, Mr. Lunga?""Beats me! If I knew I wouldn't need to bring him."