[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.67,0:00:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ebony Roberts: I remember\Nwatching my father raise the pistol
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.08,0:00:07.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to my mother's head.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.08,0:00:11.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She pleaded with him to put the gun down,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.67,0:00:12.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he ignored her.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.50,0:00:18.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When she bolted toward the door,\Nhe followed close behind
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.17,0:00:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and once outside,\Nhe fired one single shot.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.96,0:00:24.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was 12.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.00,0:00:27.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember this moment frame by frame.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.67,0:00:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember feeling numb.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.17,0:00:33.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember feeling alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.96,0:00:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank God, the bullet missed her,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.21,0:00:39.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but my family would never be the same.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.50,0:00:42.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would never be the same.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.08,0:00:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't know then all the ways
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.75,0:00:50.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that my parents' on-again,\Noff-again relationship would impact me,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.88,0:00:54.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I knew I didn't want\Na love like theirs.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.21,0:00:56.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My story would be different.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.25,0:01:00.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Years later, when I met you,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.38,0:01:02.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I fell madly in love.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.50,0:01:05.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our connection was undeniable.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.21,0:01:08.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was as if you had been\Nhand-picked just for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.54,0:01:12.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought we'd be together forever.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.17,0:01:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we struggled with some\Nof the same issues my parents had,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.46,0:01:17.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and after nearly nine years together,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.83,0:01:19.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we called it quits.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.96,0:01:22.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We had Sekou then.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.04,0:01:23.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was only three.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.88,0:01:27.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Though he was too young\Nto really understand what was going on,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.38,0:01:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he was old enough to know
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.83,0:01:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that mommy and daddy
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.12,0:01:32.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were not going to be living\Nin the same house anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.75,0:01:35.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our breakup hit me really hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.38,0:01:42.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I decided
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.04,0:01:46.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wouldn't let my broken heart\Nget in the way of what was best for Sekou.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.62,0:01:50.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We struggled initially,\Ntrying to navigate this new space
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.50,0:01:51.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as co-parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.54,0:01:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I asked myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.50,0:02:00.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how do we raise this beautiful boy\Nfull of wonder and promise
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.38,0:02:01.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so much power,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.96,0:02:03.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in spite of our failures as a couple?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.92,0:02:07.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The answer for me was simple.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.75,0:02:10.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could either choose fear,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.42,0:02:11.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fear of being alone,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.00,0:02:14.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fear of the unknown,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.12,0:02:15.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or choose love.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.71,0:02:17.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I chose love.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.79,0:02:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means seeing\Nthe good in you as a father.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.62,0:02:24.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It means seeing\Nthe good in you as a father
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.46,0:02:26.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not your missteps as a partner.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.00,0:02:29.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It means putting Sekou first every time,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.71,0:02:31.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even if it means I don't get my way.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.08,0:02:36.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know my parents went back and forth
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.71,0:02:40.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to work things out\Nfor my brother and I's sake.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.08,0:02:43.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Though I appreciate their effort,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.92,0:02:45.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wish they hadn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.50,0:02:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw too much, I heard too much.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.67,0:02:52.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew I didn't want\Nthat to be Sekou's story.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.79,0:02:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted Sekou to know
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.58,0:02:57.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it was like to see\Ntwo parents who got along,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.75,0:03:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,two parents who worked together as a team.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.67,0:03:01.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted him to know
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.96,0:03:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what love looks like in its truest form.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.46,0:03:09.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love is patient, love is kind.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.88,0:03:12.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love does not anger easily,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.96,0:03:15.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it keeps no wrongs.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.38,0:03:18.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love always protects,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.75,0:03:22.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,always trusts, always hopes,\Nalways perseveres.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.75,0:03:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shaka Senghor: It was 1983.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.67,0:03:30.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was 11 years old.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.42,0:03:35.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember being in a basement\Nwith my father,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.04,0:03:37.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our home on the east side of Detroit.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.92,0:03:41.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I watched him stuff albums
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.08,0:03:44.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into the blue and orange milk crates,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.71,0:03:46.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as tears streamed from his eyes.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.25,0:03:50.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just before that,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.62,0:03:53.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,him and my mother
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.67,0:03:57.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had just sat me and my siblings down
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.54,0:03:59.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and told us that they\Nwere calling it quits.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.21,0:04:02.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thirty years later,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.88,0:04:06.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found myself with tears in my eyes,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.50,0:04:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as I packed my belongings in our home.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.83,0:04:13.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ebony and I met
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.33,0:04:17.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while I was serving\Na 19-year prison sentence.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.08,0:04:21.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For four years,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.58,0:04:26.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we used letters, phone calls and visits
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.25,0:04:30.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to build what we had imagined\Nto be an unshakeable bond.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.62,0:04:34.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We fought the system together,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.12,0:04:38.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we thought that we would be able\Nto right the wrongs of our parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.29,0:04:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was a poet,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.17,0:04:43.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a writer.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.08,0:04:46.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was gorgeous, with a PhD.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.54,0:04:48.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was handsome,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.38,0:04:49.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a GED.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.67,0:04:53.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.96,0:04:56.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We built something magical.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.71,0:04:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We built something\Nthat we thought would endure.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.92,0:05:01.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But unfortunately,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.79,0:05:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our relationship became unhinged\Nwhen I was released from prison.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.08,0:05:08.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Post-traumatic stress syndrome,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.17,0:05:12.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trauma from prior to going to prison,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.50,0:05:16.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,baggage from her relationship,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.83,0:05:19.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my inexperience in a relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.75,0:05:24.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,undid the magic of what we built\Nbehind the walls.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.29,0:05:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Centered in all of that
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.08,0:05:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was our beautiful boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.25,0:05:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember when we first\Nbrought Sekou home.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.75,0:05:37.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was so exciting, it was amazing,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.46,0:05:39.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we worked together, we collaborated,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.29,0:05:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we supported each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.67,0:05:44.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You took the night shift,\NI took the morning shift.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.33,0:05:46.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was going amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.67,0:05:49.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then it all changed.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.00,0:05:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It changed the morning that you came in\Nreally excited, you was like,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.29,0:05:56.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, I'm going back to work!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.38,0:05:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aren't you excited?"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.92,0:06:02.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was like, "Yes.\NI am ecstatic right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.25,0:06:03.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.58,0:06:05.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cannot be more delighted."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.29,0:06:09.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But inside, I was really afraid.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.46,0:06:12.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I couldn't tell you that.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.38,0:06:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So instead, I said,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.67,0:06:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, go off and have a wonderful day."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.42,0:06:22.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you left,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.33,0:06:24.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was left with Sekou.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.29,0:06:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I understand now about that moment
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.50,0:06:30.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that we were fostering a trust
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.92,0:06:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's necessary for parents to coexist.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.12,0:06:38.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that you were trusting me\Nwith our most precious gift.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.38,0:06:43.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that you were building the foundation\Nand the blocks for what's important
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.67,0:06:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this portal we call parenthood.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.38,0:06:52.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ER: Knowing how our parents'\Nbreakups impacted us,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.54,0:06:54.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, we were really sensitive
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.18,0:06:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about how our breakup would impact Sekou.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.25,0:07:01.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We struggled,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.12,0:07:02.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we found our way.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.21,0:07:05.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let Sekou tell it,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.92,0:07:08.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're the best parents in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.21,0:07:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love that he sees us that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.62,0:07:12.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We made a choice in the beginning
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.79,0:07:16.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to co-parent as allies \Nand not adversaries.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.00,0:07:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To break the toxic pattern
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.12,0:07:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we see play out over and over again
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.96,0:07:25.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when parents lose focus\Non what's most important,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.83,0:07:27.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the children.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.12,0:07:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They allow their relationship pain\Nto get in the way.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.17,0:07:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But at the end of the day,\Nwe're on the same team,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.62,0:07:34.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's Sekou's team.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.75,0:07:37.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, I have to admit,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.46,0:07:39.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have an unconventional relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.38,0:07:41.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lot of people don't understand.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.79,0:07:45.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're not perfect as parents or people.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.33,0:07:48.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we honor each other's role\Nin Sekou's life.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.54,0:07:51.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We allow him to do things
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.79,0:07:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that our parents\Nwould never allow us to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.88,0:07:58.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't allow our fears\Nto put limits on him.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.75,0:08:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We nurture his natural curiosity\Nabout the universe
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.21,0:08:05.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his relationship to the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.83,0:08:09.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember that time when we were\Ncoming in from a long day at work,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.04,0:08:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Sekou found a puddle outside,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.54,0:08:14.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a puddle of mud, mind you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.04,0:08:18.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Had a brand new fresh outfit on,\NLevi's from head to toe.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.08,0:08:21.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he found this puddle of mud,\Nand he reached for it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.67,0:08:25.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he wanted to touch the muddy earth,\Nand we allowed him to do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.12,0:08:28.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We resisted the urge to say no,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.25,0:08:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in fact, went and got him a shovel,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.17,0:08:32.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and allowed him\Nto feel the earth's properties
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.38,0:08:34.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and explore as much\Nas he wanted to, and he played,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.79,0:08:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was as happy as a pig in mud.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.67,0:08:37.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.75,0:08:40.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We realized that the outfit\Ncould be washed,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.42,0:08:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a bath would clean up all the dirt,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.04,0:08:45.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the thrill of being in the moment,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.88,0:08:47.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of being able to touch
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.17,0:08:51.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and be amazed at this thing\Nthat he had never discovered before
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.21,0:08:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was more valuable than the clothes\Nor the dirt that could be washed away.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.79,0:09:00.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We continue to rethink\Nwhat is right and wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.75,0:09:02.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when it comes to parenting.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.83,0:09:05.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sekou challenges us every day.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.79,0:09:09.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, we allow him to climb on couches
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.96,0:09:13.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and draw on his clothes and his shoes,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.54,0:09:16.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let him run around the store --\Nwell, I do, anyway.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.92,0:09:21.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I get the death stares\Nfrom other mamas who look at me
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.00,0:09:25.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who think that children should be\Nquiet and well-behaved in public.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.96,0:09:28.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also get those questions\Nthat are really judgments,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.79,0:09:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I don't pay them any mind.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.00,0:09:32.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because at the end of the day,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.79,0:09:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our job is to guide Sekou\Non this journey of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.71,0:09:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not to control him.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.67,0:09:43.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're here to help him\Nfigure out his place in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.38,0:09:46.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to uncover his greatest gifts,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.62,0:09:49.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to discover why he was born.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.38,0:09:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are raising a free black boy
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.33,0:09:53.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a world that despises black joy,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.71,0:09:57.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we refuse to put limits on him\Nthat the world already has.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.08,0:10:03.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Our parenting\Ncan be seen as an allegory
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.33,0:10:06.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this two-sided coin of possibilities.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.71,0:10:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On one side,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.25,0:10:12.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the reality of raising\Na black boy in a society
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.71,0:10:16.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that says that black boys,\Nblack bodies and black lives
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.75,0:10:20.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only seen as profitable or disposable.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.54,0:10:23.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then there's the other side.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.29,0:10:27.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Possibility of two parents\Nwho are no longer together
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.29,0:10:30.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coexisting, supporting each other,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.21,0:10:33.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,loving each other,\Nshowing affection publicly
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.42,0:10:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a way that honors\Nthe relationship with our son.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.38,0:10:39.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And even more importantly
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.00,0:10:43.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the power to support each other\Nin all those vulnerable moments.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.62,0:10:45.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was this one time
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.75,0:10:48.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it was my day to go pick up Sekou,\Nyou remember that time?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.58,0:10:52.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I go pick Sekou up, he's in first grade,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.33,0:10:53.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as I'm walking up,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.67,0:10:57.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,another parent walks up\Nand says, "Hey, Shaka.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.21,0:10:59.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I seen Oprah Winfrey\Ngive a shout-out to you
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.75,0:11:01.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on CNN last night."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.25,0:11:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was super excited, exuberant even.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.08,0:11:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was mortified.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.33,0:11:12.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I thought, what's going to happen\Nwhen she tells another parent,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.50,0:11:14.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they tell another parent,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.33,0:11:16.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then they go and look me up
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.54,0:11:17.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then they discover
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.83,0:11:20.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I was in prison\Nfor second-degree murder.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.42,0:11:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then their child hears about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.67,0:11:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they come to school,\Nand they say to Sekou,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.38,0:11:29.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Your dad was convicted\Nof murdering someone."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.83,0:11:34.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I remember,\Nas watching Sekou race out,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.04,0:11:36.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I knew that I had to call Ebony.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.12,0:11:40.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I called her,\NI explained to her what happened,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.50,0:11:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ebony said, "You have to have the talk."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.00,0:11:46.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I took Sekou home,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.54,0:11:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,got him ready for bed,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.58,0:11:50.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we talked for half an hour.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.83,0:11:54.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I talked to him\Nabout why I went to prison.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.50,0:11:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I listened to his feedback.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.83,0:11:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then we called his mom\Nso we can do our nightly ritual
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.88,0:12:02.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of her offering prayer
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.50,0:12:05.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then me doing affirmations.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.17,0:12:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I remember holding him tightly.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.38,0:12:11.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I realized the importance\Nof the affirmations that we do at night.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.96,0:12:15.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I see them as a road map, as a guide,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.29,0:12:20.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a touchstone\Nfor other parents to protect
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.04,0:12:22.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to empower their children,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.46,0:12:26.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially in a world\Nwhere it's very difficult.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.17,0:12:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For us, co-parenting is so much more
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.54,0:12:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than scheduling pick-up and drop-off,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.25,0:12:34.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,playdates,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.08,0:12:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deciding what he's going to wear,\Nwhat he's going to eat.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.21,0:12:40.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For us, it's about helping\Neach other carry the weight,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.25,0:12:42.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unpack the load,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.08,0:12:46.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to show up in the world\Nin a way that honors the beauty
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.33,0:12:48.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of our son.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.17,0:12:51.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's for these reasons\Nthat we do affirmations.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.46,0:12:54.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ER: We never though we'd be here.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.92,0:12:56.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here we are.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.46,0:13:00.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we hope that the way\Nthat we show up for Sekou
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.08,0:13:01.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for each other
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.38,0:13:05.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a model of what successful\Nco-parenting can look like.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.12,0:13:08.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'd like to bring you all in\Nto this nightly ritual of affirmations
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.83,0:13:12.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that Shaka does with Sekou\Nevery night at bedtime.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.96,0:13:16.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Hey.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.25,0:13:21.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.62,0:13:25.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am great.\NSekou: I am great.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.33,0:13:27.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am awesome.\NSekou: I am awesome.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.17,0:13:28.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I'm amazing.\NSekou: I'm amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.92,0:13:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am thoughtful.\NSekou: I am thoughtful.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.00,0:13:32.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am kind.\NSekou: I am kind.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.54,0:13:34.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am loving.\NSekou: I am loving.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.25,0:13:35.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am caring.\NSekou: I am caring.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.96,0:13:37.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am funny.\NSekou: I am funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.58,0:13:39.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I'm smart.\NSekou: I'm smart.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.18,0:13:41.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I'm a big boy.\NSekou: I'm a big boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.06,0:13:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I'm a soldier.\NSekou: I'm a soldier.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.00,0:13:44.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I'm a warrior.\NSekou: I'm a warrior.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.96,0:13:46.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I am Sekou.\NSekou: I am Sekou.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.58,0:13:52.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers and applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.67,0:13:53.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ER: Good job, baby.