WEBVTT 00:02:07.300 --> 00:02:16.600 Dear respected Thay, dear brothers and sisters, dear friends, today is the 26th 00:02:16.600 --> 00:02:23.950 of November 2017 we are in the Stillwater meditation hall of the Upper 00:02:23.950 --> 00:02:34.750 Hamlet, Plum village and we'll continue with the theme the seven factors 00:02:34.750 --> 00:02:49.980 of awakening, of enlightenment. I'm always really fascinated by this theme 00:02:49.980 --> 00:03:01.720 enlightenment because I I feel that there's more than what I can hear and 00:03:01.720 --> 00:03:15.160 what I can perceive and what I know and I remember going through times in my 00:03:15.160 --> 00:03:34.729 life when I had this burning desire to know to understand because I feel 00:03:40.180 --> 00:03:46.110 there's a curtain that prevent me from seeing what's actually there 00:03:46.110 --> 00:03:55.150 and this feeling this desire was so strong with my mom passed away I really 00:03:55.150 --> 00:04:08.980 wanted to know where is she now, which direction is she going into. And I felt 00:04:08.980 --> 00:04:20.229 if I could just you know draw away the curtain I can't really see and yet it felt 00:04:20.229 --> 00:04:35.710 really impossible for me to draw that curtain so that I can actually see so then 00:04:35.710 --> 00:04:39.030 I can really understand 00:04:44.889 --> 00:04:56.150 and in my life as a practitioner I felt a lot of time that I am wearing tinted 00:04:56.150 --> 00:05:04.370 glasses to look at reality. I have an idea of reality, I have an idea, a 00:05:04.370 --> 00:05:12.380 perception of myself and of other people and I can't really you know like really 00:05:12.380 --> 00:05:21.020 put down that glasses so that I can see reality as it is and I can see other 00:05:21.020 --> 00:05:28.370 people as who they are and not just ideas and perceptions and prejudices 00:05:28.370 --> 00:05:41.060 that I have so a burning desire in me to really experience enlightenment. To really 00:05:41.060 --> 00:05:49.750 have a taste of it because I know once I'm able to experience enlightenment 00:05:51.039 --> 00:06:03.979 then I can see what my flesh eye cannot see, I can understand what my mind cannot 00:06:03.979 --> 00:06:11.599 perceive. And so I always talk about enlightenment. 00:06:11.599 --> 00:06:21.830 I always touch on it every time I give a talk. And one time one of the 00:06:21.830 --> 00:06:27.770 younger brothers came up to me after my talk about enlightenment and he said: 00:06:27.770 --> 00:06:35.720 "Sister you were very brave to talk about enlightenment!" and I knew that wasn't a 00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:37.900 compliment. 00:06:38.450 --> 00:06:47.970 And I asked "what do you mean?" and he said: "the brothers, well some of the 00:06:47.970 --> 00:06:57.090 brothers, are very allergic to the word enlightenment". And I thought what's with 00:06:57.090 --> 00:07:06.810 you brothers I mean maybe that's why you have a lot of difficulties maybe because 00:07:06.810 --> 00:07:15.570 you don't set high enough goal for your for your practice and that's when I 00:07:15.570 --> 00:07:22.770 realize that maybe people do have negative idea negative connotation to 00:07:22.770 --> 00:07:37.740 the world enlightenment and so the theme of the talks this winter is about 00:07:37.740 --> 00:07:45.480 enlightenment how can we experience enlightenment here and now what 00:07:45.480 --> 00:07:52.300 practices can we do to become enlightened 00:07:55.180 --> 00:08:00.580 and so instead of using the word enlightenment I learned to use the word 00:08:00.580 --> 00:08:08.770 awakening I think it makes more sense to me because it's like we've been sleeping 00:08:08.770 --> 00:08:19.650 all along for a million years with our eyes closed even when we are awake we 00:08:19.650 --> 00:08:28.090 live in a dream even when we are awake and then artists under our eyes opened 00:08:28.090 --> 00:08:37.300 and seen so it's a beautiful image for me the word of wakening really provokes 00:08:37.300 --> 00:08:49.210 them image of waking up to what's there. And so so let me write down the Seven 00:08:49.210 --> 00:09:01.530 Factors of Awakening. Last week sr Jina had already talked about mindfulness 00:09:10.819 --> 00:09:22.980 So the Seven Factors of Awaking, it starts with mindfulness. 00:09:22.980 --> 00:09:44.750 The second one is investigation of phenomenas, or dharmas. 00:09:50.330 --> 00:09:56.230 The third one is diligent or energy. 00:10:10.450 --> 00:10:41.250 The fourth is joy, the fifth is tranquility, sixth is concentration and the seventh equanimity 00:10:48.800 --> 00:10:58.360 so today I will talk about investigation so as you have already learned that there 00:10:58.360 --> 00:11:04.240 are the 3 important practices, three essential practices, we call them the 00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:12.160 three trainings or the three learnings. It's mindfulness concentration and 00:11:12.160 --> 00:11:24.760 insight. These are three precious gems in our heart. And mindfulness simply means 00:11:24.760 --> 00:11:30.210 to know what's happening here now. 00:11:31.830 --> 00:11:38.430 Mindfulness is a light inside ourselves 00:11:38.430 --> 00:11:51.760 that once it's lit up we can see we can see not just with our eyes but we can see 00:11:51.760 --> 00:12:00.040 with our mind what's happening in our body what's happening did our mind and 00:12:00.040 --> 00:12:08.650 also what's happening around us. And like sister Jina said if only you take up this 00:12:08.650 --> 00:12:17.380 practice the mindfulness practice as she has shared last week it's already 00:12:17.380 --> 00:12:23.770 enough for you to become enlightened. Because once you are embodied 00:12:23.770 --> 00:12:38.620 with mindfulness you you radiate with light and that you see you can see so 00:12:38.620 --> 00:12:48.880 much more and when you are mindful it means that you're there you're present 00:12:48.880 --> 00:12:53.400 for whatever it is that you're looking at 00:12:54.330 --> 00:13:01.780 and when you stay with it long enough you see see very deeply and that's 00:13:01.780 --> 00:13:08.020 mindfulness concentration and insight and that feeling it's coming from a very 00:13:08.020 --> 00:13:17.110 deep place inside it's like a gut feeling experience and once you have 00:13:17.110 --> 00:13:23.500 that insight you know this is it it's like aha 00:13:23.500 --> 00:13:31.810 is that a high experience and it helps you to understand and it liberates you 00:13:31.810 --> 00:13:42.780 from whatever it is that you still get stuck in or tell you have not understood 00:13:43.710 --> 00:13:50.050 so that's mindfulness concentration and insight in brief but when you look at 00:13:50.050 --> 00:13:55.260 the seven factors of awakening we don't really see insight 00:13:55.260 --> 00:14:01.380 there's concentration there's mindfulness but there's no insight 00:14:07.850 --> 00:14:19.490 and insight is very important the element that liberates it's not there 00:14:28.030 --> 00:14:33.990 I can see in your faces that you have the answer already 00:14:39.210 --> 00:14:59.770 that's because investigation of dharma's which means to look deeply, to search to be 00:14:59.770 --> 00:15:14.820 curious, helps us to understand. So investigation leads to insight. 00:15:14.820 --> 00:15:26.320 So in investigation, if we practice it then there's understanding, there's insight. 00:15:26.460 --> 00:15:35.920 So insight is actually there. But of course if we practice mindfulness you can also 00:15:35.920 --> 00:15:42.310 find insight to mindfulness. If you practice concentration you can also find 00:15:42.310 --> 00:15:47.410 insight in concentration. Because this three things. mindfulness concentration and 00:15:47.410 --> 00:15:56.310 insight, they go together. Each is giving birth to the other they are connected. 00:16:02.470 --> 00:16:12.300 And so how do we practice investigation? How do we practice looking deeply? 00:16:44.160 --> 00:16:53.220 This is a question that came up all the time in my practice for myself, but also 00:16:53.220 --> 00:16:58.300 questions that came up for my younger brothers and sisters about how to 00:16:58.300 --> 00:17:05.250 practice looking deeply. How to practice the factor of awakening 00:17:05.250 --> 00:17:08.250 investigation? 00:17:14.310 --> 00:17:27.950 Is it speculation? Is it analyzing? 00:17:32.110 --> 00:17:39.929 Is it thinking over and over and over about something? 00:17:49.540 --> 00:18:01.050 well I'll share this morning how I practice investigation because since 00:18:01.050 --> 00:18:08.530 understanding is so important for me that it's something that I've dwelled on 00:18:08.530 --> 00:18:21.820 a lot like I said the biggest suffering for me is not understand not knowing 00:18:27.300 --> 00:18:35.700 like seeing things through this window and not being able 00:18:35.710 --> 00:18:44.040 to get out of this window to see the whole picture because when I look at 00:18:44.050 --> 00:18:49.710 this window this reality it's 00:18:58.600 --> 00:19:08.860 just a tiny teeny picture of the whole picture a tiny bit like one little 00:19:08.860 --> 00:19:17.740 jigsaw, jigsaw piece of a jigsaw puzzle and only if I get out of this room 00:19:17.740 --> 00:19:28.760 outside of this window that I can see the whole picture. So let us look into 00:19:28.760 --> 00:19:34.550 the sutras to see what the Buddha say about Investigation how to practice 00:19:34.550 --> 00:19:47.900 investigation to see whether it's really speculation and analysis analyzing us as 00:19:47.900 --> 00:19:57.290 we learned that you know in school just speculate things using our intellect to 00:19:57.290 --> 00:20:01.480 analyse things using our intellect 00:20:08.460 --> 00:20:17.410 so let's begin with the sutra on mindful breathing we all know the 00:20:17.410 --> 00:20:29.049 practices of the sutra on mindful breathing and it always begins whatever 00:20:29.049 --> 00:20:35.460 it is that we're looking at whether we're looking at our body or a feeling 00:20:35.460 --> 00:20:49.210 or a mind or our perception which is really the objects of mind we always 00:20:49.210 --> 00:20:58.510 begin with breathing so breathing in I'm aware of my breathing my body breathing 00:20:58.510 --> 00:21:09.809 out I'm aware of my body we start with breathing in I'm aware of my breathing 00:21:09.809 --> 00:21:17.260 pretty now I'm aware of my breathing and so whether we look into the body or 00:21:17.260 --> 00:21:25.360 whether we are looking into our feeling or whether we look into impermanence or 00:21:25.360 --> 00:21:39.730 the idea of non-self we always have to dwell on the breath which means we're to 00:21:39.730 --> 00:21:52.460 be present which means no thinking you have to stay present for 00:21:52.460 --> 00:21:59.240 the breathing with our body with our breath when we look deeply into 00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:18.350 something and it makes so much sense because when we look deeply why are not 00:22:18.350 --> 00:22:26.360 using a breath while we're not mindful or present what happened is that we can 00:22:26.360 --> 00:22:37.639 easily get caught up in our thoughts stories we have you know head ideas you 00:22:37.639 --> 00:22:44.870 have about you know whatever it is that we're looking at and before we know it 00:22:44.870 --> 00:22:56.480 we're miles away from where we are from the present moment and so we can go in 00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:00.049 there with the intention good intention of wanting to look deeply into something 00:23:00.049 --> 00:23:05.539 and the next thing we knew, it's like we're wasting our time thinking about one 00:23:05.539 --> 00:23:15.649 thing to the next. Does that happen in you? It happens to all of us because 00:23:15.649 --> 00:23:21.220 we're not really present and so the breath helps us to stay afloat 00:23:21.220 --> 00:23:32.000 so that we're not submerged in the sea of thinking so that's the first thing 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:39.159 that we learn for the future he said the breath is so instrumental 00:23:39.159 --> 00:23:45.669 and happiness to be able to look deeply into something 00:23:56.750 --> 00:24:04.460 so let's breathe with the sound of the Bell and just stay pressing with a 00:24:04.460 --> 00:24:10.850 breath we notice it coming in coming out we notice the beginning of the breath 00:24:10.850 --> 00:24:14.679 and the end of the breath 00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:26.789 so the breathing helps us to be really quiet in our mind so that was consumed 00:25:27.779 --> 00:25:40.269 and then there's another sutra that I really like, and I always, it's like my my 00:25:40.269 --> 00:25:45.609 daily practice, is the sutra, the discourse on the four foundations of 00:25:45.609 --> 00:25:55.739 mindfulness which helps me to see one how to practice looking deeply 00:26:07.080 --> 00:26:19.340 and again this discourse, this sutra, shows us how to practice 00:26:21.340 --> 00:26:34.200 mindfulness in our body in our feeling in our mind and in the object of mind 00:26:37.300 --> 00:26:51.620 and what would I really like about this sutra is that so we don't have to do 00:26:51.620 --> 00:27:01.270 much we don't have to do anything that we simply acknowledge what's there 00:27:01.270 --> 00:27:17.320 we acknowledge its presence the presence of a feeling or of a mind state such as 00:27:17.320 --> 00:27:30.830 anger or love and we acknowledge that it's there and if it's not there which 00:27:30.830 --> 00:27:39.920 is acknowledged oh it's not there anymore my mind there is no hate in my 00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:49.030 mind there's no love in my mind that's all there there is to it 00:27:49.270 --> 00:28:00.970 it's a practice of recognition which is there and in what some in other world 00:28:00.970 --> 00:28:10.010 which is we should be present and be aware of so what habits happening in the 00:28:10.010 --> 00:28:17.860 body in the mind in the feeling and in whatever it is that looked me looking at 00:28:17.870 --> 00:28:34.090 there's no there's no judgement to it there's no, you know, association 00:28:34.090 --> 00:28:42.470 associating this this mental state with stories that we have or with experiences 00:28:42.470 --> 00:28:57.950 we had in the past simply just real recognition of what's there so what this 00:28:57.950 --> 00:29:07.039 day is about looking deeply for me is that apart from being really present and 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:17.740 mindful of my breath I also need to keep myself really quiet 00:29:24.210 --> 00:29:31.690 no thinking in Zen no mind they call it no mind it's in mine 00:29:31.690 --> 00:29:42.580 which means you're thinking stuff in mind and how is that possible 00:29:42.580 --> 00:29:49.090 you may think how is it possible that there's no thinking I mean we think all 00:29:49.090 --> 00:30:00.240 the time sometimes we're so drained without thinking and we can't stop it 00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:12.460 this ceaseless thinking that's when the practice of mindfulness becomes really 00:30:12.460 --> 00:30:19.780 helpful to quiet down our mind you know being aware of the breath being aware of 00:30:19.780 --> 00:30:24.360 the body being aware of our steps and 00:30:24.419 --> 00:30:34.140 that's why when we practice mindfulness we are already practicing looking deeply 00:30:37.410 --> 00:30:50.640 and I'm reading a book by master Linji our patriarch and you know he used this 00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:57.620 really radical methods to help us cut off our thinking and to come in touch 00:30:57.620 --> 00:31:08.280 with our own Buddha nature and I really enjoyed it because for me looking deeply 00:31:08.280 --> 00:31:13.760 it's about cutting off our thinking some speculation is not about internal 00:31:13.760 --> 00:31:21.060 intellectual speculation or analyzing it's not about sitting there and think 00:31:21.060 --> 00:31:29.090 and think and think even if you're just thinking about yourself or impermanence 00:31:29.300 --> 00:31:44.340 because the more you think the more you become confused the more we think we are 00:31:44.340 --> 00:31:52.050 only coming in touch with our ideas and perceptions and preconceived ideas and 00:31:52.050 --> 00:31:59.090 notions and we can't really experience reality as it is we can't really see 00:31:59.090 --> 00:32:03.380 beyond this curtain 00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:20.280 and so this comes to mind the practice of stopping arriving and looking deeply 00:32:20.280 --> 00:32:29.700 stopping and looking deeply these are two aspects of meditation we stop 00:32:30.330 --> 00:32:38.460 running in our head come back to the present moment 00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:47.440 and then receive we look deeply and the metaphor that I really like is the 00:32:47.440 --> 00:33:01.540 metaphor of a pond it's the image of a pond a pond on on a windy day or a rainy 00:33:01.540 --> 00:33:09.750 day when you look into a pond you see lots of web ripples and waves you see 00:33:09.750 --> 00:33:19.810 fragments of what's there you actually don't see anything but on my still and 00:33:19.810 --> 00:33:29.500 clear day like today he looked into a pond and the water is so still and so 00:33:29.500 --> 00:33:36.970 calm it reflects the blue sky it reflects the white cloud affects the 00:33:36.970 --> 00:33:44.940 tree in the water it's as if they're like mirror image of one another 00:33:44.940 --> 00:33:54.280 imagine the pond and also what's out there and and it's a metaphor for the 00:33:54.280 --> 00:34:00.070 mind because our mind is it's like that whenever we have a lot of thinking and 00:34:00.070 --> 00:34:06.220 thoughts and ideas in our head the sec out it's full of ripples and 00:34:06.220 --> 00:34:14.920 waves I can't see much within the dark actually when we are just filled with so 00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:18.600 much thoughts, ceaseless thoughts. 00:34:20.799 --> 00:34:29.629 But when we are able to come back to our breath come back to our body come 00:34:29.629 --> 00:34:39.019 back to our steps the pond of our mind becomes so still and so clear that we 00:34:39.019 --> 00:34:44.210 see so deeply into it we see causes and conditions why we are 00:34:44.210 --> 00:34:54.549 the way we are why we feel the way we do why we think the way we think and that 00:34:54.549 --> 00:35:03.849 scene is not coming from a pure it's coming because our mind is clear 00:35:18.030 --> 00:35:29.550 and master Linji said you are already a Buddha you don't need to look for the 00:35:29.550 --> 00:35:35.040 Buddha outside of yourself and sometimes the shouts at you if you come to him 00:35:35.040 --> 00:35:41.550 with a lot of ideas and thinking to help you cut up while you're thinking in you 00:35:41.550 --> 00:35:46.140 know come in touch with your own Buddha nature with the baby Buddha inside 00:35:46.140 --> 00:35:55.080 yourself so I'd like to talk about mice actually this place that we can look for 00:35:55.080 --> 00:36:07.490 the Buddha inside ourselves since we're talking about you know quiet in our mind 00:36:07.490 --> 00:36:18.869 in order to see where's that scene coming from Weston do you know where 00:36:18.869 --> 00:36:23.660 exactly that insight is coming from 00:36:31.630 --> 00:36:39.530 so we know about the store consciousness right maybe some of you may not heard a 00:36:39.530 --> 00:36:52.160 bit before so I'm just gonna say briefly about it this is your mind and in the 00:36:52.160 --> 00:36:57.320 depths of our being there our consciousness our mind there's different 00:36:57.320 --> 00:37:08.810 layers and our tradition we say about eight layers in our mind so the deepest 00:37:08.810 --> 00:37:14.500 of these eight layers is called the store consciousness 00:37:19.810 --> 00:37:31.210 in the store consciousness it stores all kinds of seeds and heats a real 00:37:31.210 --> 00:37:43.930 potentials potentials that were capable of the whole spectrum of seeds the whole 00:37:43.930 --> 00:37:54.820 spectrum of potentials from the most positive to the most negative in other 00:37:54.820 --> 00:38:02.910 word we have the seed of a Buddha inside ourselves the seed of insight in us also 00:38:02.910 --> 00:38:07.590 but we also have the seed of ignorance 00:38:08.370 --> 00:38:22.140 which is the seed of not seeing not knowing not understanding 00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:32.210 and then we always have a see just tomorrow 00:38:32.210 --> 00:38:52.880 inside ourselves Mara is there in in us too in other word everything that we're 00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:58.609 looking for everything we have ever experienced can be found right inside 00:38:58.609 --> 00:39:08.660 ourselves in the depths of our being in the store consciousness it preserves all 00:39:08.660 --> 00:39:19.069 kinds of seeds it maintains all the seeds in here and then there are the six 00:39:19.069 --> 00:39:29.960 some there the six organs sense organs there's we have the six sense organs the 00:39:29.960 --> 00:39:34.369 eyes the ears the nose the tongue the body and the mind 00:39:34.369 --> 00:39:41.859 These are the six organs, and when these six organs come in touch with its object 00:39:42.220 --> 00:39:50.950 which is sight sound taste touch 00:39:56.729 --> 00:40:10.029 smell or objects of mind these two things come together it gives rise to an 00:40:10.029 --> 00:40:18.039 awareness to a consciousness so there's the eye consciousness the 00:40:18.039 --> 00:40:26.109 ear-consciousness the nose consciousness tongue consciousness and body 00:40:26.109 --> 00:40:30.329 consciousness and then the mind consciousness 00:41:22.200 --> 00:41:29.460 and so whatever it is that we come in in touch with through our senses actually 00:41:29.460 --> 00:41:38.930 it's a trigger that taps into the seeds in the depths of us store consciousness 00:41:39.320 --> 00:41:49.200 it's a stimulus the trigger sit inside and the seed manifest as a mental 00:41:49.200 --> 00:41:55.410 formation as a state of mind that we can actually experience in our body in our 00:41:55.410 --> 00:42:10.760 mind we can actually sense it view it touch it and so 00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:23.150 whatever seeds that have been watered in us becomes a significant it becomes 00:42:23.150 --> 00:42:51.590 significant in other word it it affects the quality of our being and that but we 00:42:51.590 --> 00:42:58.460 think that the object is coming from outside of ourselves and it goes in and 00:42:58.460 --> 00:43:03.680 taps into our seeds and then you know like this mental formation manifest it's 00:43:03.680 --> 00:43:11.990 not like that I mean that's an image to help us to understand how store 00:43:11.990 --> 00:43:19.340 consciousness really works but the store consciousness it's the subject of 00:43:19.340 --> 00:43:26.360 knowing but it's it's at the same time the object of knowing these two things 00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:33.770 go together they manifest together but what we feel or what we experience in 00:43:33.770 --> 00:43:46.210 what we see are manifesting together so the subject and the object of cognition 00:43:46.210 --> 00:43:55.910 manifests at the same time it is not something we're taking they are already 00:43:55.910 --> 00:44:04.910 there in a form of seeds and so when they manifest the manifests as the 00:44:04.910 --> 00:44:08.980 subject and as the object 00:44:12.160 --> 00:44:15.160 and 00:44:22.190 --> 00:44:33.259 and this helps me it helps me to see that I don't really need to go out there 00:44:33.259 --> 00:44:39.259 and look at things that it investigate on things out there all I need to do is 00:44:39.259 --> 00:44:49.089 go back to here in order to investigate what's inside of me because what is 00:44:49.089 --> 00:45:03.259 manifesting in me because what's manifesting in me as actually what's 00:45:03.259 --> 00:45:07.880 manifesting out there is actually a projection of what's manifesting in me 00:45:07.880 --> 00:45:20.349 exactly and so for me the object of my investigation is here it's here and 00:45:20.349 --> 00:45:26.029 that's why when you come to plum village like all our practices it's encouraging 00:45:26.029 --> 00:45:35.180 you to come back to yourself the bells happiness to come back and mr. 00:45:35.180 --> 00:45:39.200 Ling Zhi keeps saying come back and recognize that the Buddha is inside you 00:45:39.200 --> 00:45:44.779 don't need to look for the Buddha outside of you and so it becomes really 00:45:44.779 --> 00:45:53.089 clear for me that the object of my investigation is myself and it makes so 00:45:53.089 --> 00:46:04.279 much sense because when I understand myself then I can understand other 00:46:04.279 --> 00:46:06.910 people 00:46:10.740 --> 00:46:21.880 when I understand my impermanence the impermanence of my body and mind then I 00:46:21.880 --> 00:46:30.400 can understand the impermanence of everything there is and what I really 00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:36.130 like about this is that I don't really have to you know look for I don't have 00:46:36.130 --> 00:46:42.030 to go out there and to practice that I have everything I need to practice 00:46:42.030 --> 00:46:46.410 mindfulness to practice looking deeply 00:46:49.650 --> 00:47:02.490 so go back because you have everything you need to help you to understand 00:47:02.490 --> 00:47:05.490 reality 00:47:14.710 --> 00:47:19.780 and 00:47:31.220 --> 00:47:38.390 and suffering the experience in our life suffering difficulties the challenges we 00:47:38.390 --> 00:47:51.050 go through they actually really really useful there was to stop and look and in 00:47:51.050 --> 00:47:58.660 my life has in my practice I noticed that I went through times when I am 00:47:58.660 --> 00:48:07.430 quite slacking I may be you know appearing you know in the sunglass 00:48:07.430 --> 00:48:13.940 activity but I'm actually really slacking in a silent because things are 00:48:13.940 --> 00:48:24.050 so easy to know I feel peaceful if you're calm and I take it for granted it 00:48:24.050 --> 00:48:33.140 is only the challenges the suffering that I experience that really pushes me 00:48:33.140 --> 00:48:40.640 to like look look a bit deeper and so actually it's it's good news to have 00:48:40.640 --> 00:48:47.810 suffering and when you look at it in that way suffering is narrative and it's 00:48:47.810 --> 00:48:53.030 actually really good they're opportunities we always see suffering 00:48:53.030 --> 00:48:57.800 when we experience suffering that we see yourself as being a victim and that 00:48:57.800 --> 00:49:03.579 really weakens us but when we see that suffering and difficulties are 00:49:03.579 --> 00:49:13.040 opportunities to have a scope a bit deeper in ourselves to understand then 00:49:13.040 --> 00:49:20.690 they're like really really valuable opportunities that's why suffering is 00:49:20.690 --> 00:49:27.319 it's a no achieve right it's noble because it helps us to come in touch 00:49:27.319 --> 00:49:31.810 with reality with who we really are 00:49:32.619 --> 00:49:37.010 and we're more than just these difficulties with the Buddha we're not 00:49:37.010 --> 00:49:41.780 just Mara we're the Buddha too and so these 00:49:41.780 --> 00:49:45.830 opportunities the suffering helps us to come in touch with the Buddha inside 00:49:45.830 --> 00:49:50.920 ourselves and bring in her a life 00:49:59.819 --> 00:50:04.869 and I'll share with you about how I prepared the Dharma talk because I 00:50:04.869 --> 00:50:10.210 always a problem preparing for Dhamma talk I really don't know how to prepare 00:50:10.210 --> 00:50:15.250 a Dharma talk I noticed my sister's coming up with like a lot of paper and 00:50:15.250 --> 00:50:19.420 stuff like that and I'm like wow that's great 00:50:19.420 --> 00:50:27.670 I wish I could do that and I try to think nothing comes to mind that's my 00:50:27.670 --> 00:50:34.240 problem and so what I did this time was that I know this is a really important 00:50:34.240 --> 00:50:42.720 topic but you know because you know it's it's enlightenment 00:50:44.860 --> 00:50:52.790 and so I asked my older sister can you please pretty please give me 00:50:52.790 --> 00:51:00.230 some questions what is it that you want me to talk about what do you want in you 00:51:00.230 --> 00:51:03.770 what do you want to know about the investigation 00:51:03.770 --> 00:51:08.619 give me some questions and then I also told my mentee to give me some questions 00:51:08.619 --> 00:51:15.490 and I told them a week before and so they gave me all these questions and 00:51:15.490 --> 00:51:22.580 when I dealt with this question with them I didn't trust this question in my 00:51:22.580 --> 00:51:29.900 store consciousness I said okay take over I'm not gonna think because I 00:51:29.900 --> 00:51:41.380 cannot think and so that's I did and then I kept really quiet to know in my 00:51:41.380 --> 00:51:50.450 daily activity I do my best to be mindful and to be really conscious of 00:51:50.450 --> 00:52:02.390 what's unfolding inside and then but you know like this idea comes up even when I 00:52:02.390 --> 00:52:11.180 least expected like what I should say and how I said what not how I should say 00:52:11.180 --> 00:52:18.350 it because I never know how I should say it whatever comes comes it's coming in 00:52:18.350 --> 00:52:28.900 touch with everyone that trigger whatever it is that it come out and 00:52:34.110 --> 00:52:40.270 and I and this is what I do in my daily life is that I have to trust my store 00:52:40.270 --> 00:52:49.300 consciousness and when we are keeping our self really quiet really mindful to 00:52:49.300 --> 00:53:02.220 reflect on what's there this is exactly what we're doing we're and Trust in the 00:53:02.220 --> 00:53:09.870 store consciousness with these issues for it to work for us and it's actually 00:53:09.870 --> 00:53:15.460 less costly because that's the nature of store consciousness is that it works 00:53:15.460 --> 00:53:20.740 night and day even when we are asleep maybe when I am asleep you know like 00:53:20.740 --> 00:53:25.720 these questions it's working in the depths of my store consciousness to 00:53:25.720 --> 00:53:29.310 prepare the Dharma talk for me 00:53:43.520 --> 00:53:48.010 it's very costly when we have to think 00:53:49.840 --> 00:54:00.650 because our brain with only 2% of the whole total total body mass and it 00:54:00.650 --> 00:54:10.460 consumes 25% of the energy of our whole body but if we are like having this 00:54:10.460 --> 00:54:22.340 episode of like ceaseless thinking that will stop even when we are completely 00:54:22.340 --> 00:54:26.630 exhausted even when we have like a terrible headache and we couldn't stop 00:54:26.630 --> 00:54:37.160 thinking anybody if experienced that before a few of you well that happened 00:54:37.160 --> 00:54:47.840 to me so I know I've been there and so it drains you and yet you're still in 00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:57.650 the dark because the more you think the more in the dark you are but if you 00:54:57.650 --> 00:55:05.210 entrust these issues to your store consciousness like I have interested 00:55:05.210 --> 00:55:14.960 these questions in their store consciousness store consciousness what 00:55:14.960 --> 00:55:23.740 would we do its work and they will provide us with the answer 00:55:26.740 --> 00:55:38.809 and that answer is inside so inside this now coming from our head inside is 00:55:38.809 --> 00:55:51.920 coming for the depths of our being so trusting in my store consciousness helps 00:55:51.920 --> 00:55:58.059 me not to be so tired and also dreamed 00:55:58.119 --> 00:56:04.240 so the practice is not about getting more the practice is about cleaner in 00:56:04.240 --> 00:56:11.599 clearing away because we already have woven whatever it is that we're looking 00:56:11.599 --> 00:56:14.960 for we already have inside inside ourselves 00:56:14.960 --> 00:56:22.660 it's about clearing away these ideas and thoughts and perceptions and thinking 00:56:22.660 --> 00:56:34.599 that means that this but the space is in room this inside - and for 00:56:43.790 --> 00:57:02.070 so one in the inevitable question that came from my sisters is how do they give 00:57:02.070 --> 00:57:19.520 an example or how do I practice looking deeply to walk through my suffering 00:57:43.410 --> 00:57:51.119 you know I've been up here many times before in the last day was in more than 00:57:51.119 --> 00:57:59.430 two years you know that before that time is always appear and we have the 00:57:59.430 --> 00:58:05.990 pleasure to sit in down there and listen you know being up here it's kind of I 00:58:05.990 --> 00:58:16.500 feel like it's I feel transparent up here because it's beyond me what 00:58:16.500 --> 00:58:28.049 actually comes out and sometimes my sister said it's a good talk or sometime 00:58:28.049 --> 00:58:30.750 it's not a very good talk and I said I'm sorry 00:58:30.750 --> 00:58:37.019 whatever comes out you just have to accept because I can't do anything about 00:58:37.019 --> 00:58:48.660 it it's my store consciousness I blame it on my store consciousness and but 00:58:48.660 --> 00:58:57.259 this time I have to admit I'm a bit nervous to come up here 00:59:04.849 --> 00:59:21.170 how to breathe with that feeling and I heard this voice underneath that feeling 00:59:21.170 --> 00:59:36.200 of nervousness the voice that I'm not good enough it's a voice familiar I'm 00:59:36.200 --> 00:59:53.259 not good enough and this voice it's really a very oh oh friend of mine 00:59:58.730 --> 01:00:08.630 a voice that was there when I was a child and especially when I was a 01:00:08.630 --> 01:00:17.840 teenager and I had to work a lot with that voice that I'm not good enough I'm 01:00:17.840 --> 01:00:22.940 not good enough every day - no I'm not intelligent 01:00:22.940 --> 01:00:28.700 enough I'm not beautiful enough I'm not enough of this and I'm not enough of 01:00:28.700 --> 01:00:35.600 that and I had to work a lot with with that 01:00:35.600 --> 01:00:47.260 when I begun when I began my my my life my practice and what I realized was then 01:00:47.260 --> 01:00:58.880 that voice was actually connected to I don't know if it's connected but it has 01:00:58.880 --> 01:01:09.109 to do with my dad I never talked about my dad in the community I talked a lot 01:01:09.109 --> 01:01:13.210 about my mom but never about my dad 01:01:26.100 --> 01:01:34.020 that's because I don't know what it's like to have a dad that's because my dad 01:01:34.020 --> 01:01:45.600 passed away we know it's one and a half years old and I grew up filthy feeling 01:01:45.600 --> 01:01:55.700 there's something wrong with me that I'm not complete but I'm not good enough 01:01:55.700 --> 01:02:12.210 not good enough and that as a teenager as a child I felt like there's a hole 01:02:12.210 --> 01:02:22.020 inside here even though my mom was a very loving caring she was never 01:02:22.020 --> 01:02:27.540 remarried so that she cannot she can really put all her energy and her love 01:02:27.540 --> 01:02:40.280 for for us and now it's the internal process that was happening inside 01:02:47.210 --> 01:02:57.810 excessive there's a missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle inside me and it created a 01:02:57.810 --> 01:03:05.460 lot of suffering for me and in my my practice whenever I experienced 01:03:05.460 --> 01:03:13.430 suffering it's always coming back to that suffering as a child as a teenager 01:03:13.430 --> 01:03:24.800 and that voice have always been there and I have to walk along with it 01:03:29.760 --> 01:03:39.630 and so and so when I knew this is where it was coming from I had promised to 01:03:39.630 --> 01:03:52.650 accept myself as sure I was and I practiced to see my father in myself to 01:03:52.650 --> 01:04:06.690 see my dad in myself and I started to notice things in my siblings that are 01:04:06.690 --> 01:04:14.850 also email he may not be very strong in my mom I know that's my dad so with the 01:04:14.850 --> 01:04:23.960 practice I was able to fill up that hole in the practice of understanding myself 01:04:23.960 --> 01:04:35.250 the practice of accepting and loving myself as Who I am but then once in a 01:04:35.250 --> 01:04:45.780 blue it comes up again you know his voice it comes up again but the practice 01:04:45.780 --> 01:04:52.830 of looking deeply had helped me now to recognize it immediately once it comes 01:04:52.830 --> 01:05:03.859 up so that it doesn't have the charge and the power to overwhelm me as it had 01:05:03.859 --> 01:05:07.910 you know as a teenager 01:05:17.700 --> 01:05:27.780 and so whatever it is that we have to work with whatever voice it is that's 01:05:27.780 --> 01:05:42.000 keep telling us about ourselves it's actually a wrong perception of myself if 01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:51.690 we look deeper into ourselves we see that we're more than just this voice and 01:05:51.690 --> 01:05:57.780 that actually helped to fill up that hole in our soul it makes us feel 01:05:57.780 --> 01:06:05.190 complete so whatever it is that you're experiencing to be the object of your 01:06:05.190 --> 01:06:10.069 investigation and that's why we need to start 01:06:16.420 --> 01:06:27.130 and so investigation really as a factor self listening to ourselves listening to 01:06:27.130 --> 01:06:38.940 this voice inside and I realized that we don't do this very often when we are 01:06:38.940 --> 01:06:48.490 when we have like a quiet time quite place with ourselves we see that there's 01:06:48.490 --> 01:06:58.269 so much thoughts thinking and ideas but if we can just listen to those thoughts 01:06:58.269 --> 01:07:03.519 and ideas you know like it's very soft voice inside it's like there's just like 01:07:03.519 --> 01:07:11.980 a chattering box in the back of our head you can actually understand ourselves a 01:07:11.980 --> 01:07:23.140 lot and a lot and a lot and it could be really healing to be able to understand 01:07:23.140 --> 01:07:30.880 to be able to listen to love ways it helps us to understand ourselves and why 01:07:30.880 --> 01:07:36.299 we are the way we are why is the further way we do what we when we get triggered 01:07:36.299 --> 01:07:48.329 the way we do so awakening or enlightenment it's not something 01:07:48.329 --> 01:07:58.269 something beyond us and they're not just ideas either you know whatever ideas 01:07:58.269 --> 01:08:04.470 that that brother had about enlightenment it's not about that either 01:08:04.500 --> 01:08:14.920 it's about our daily experience of living mindfully and of being still 01:08:14.920 --> 01:08:24.389 enough inside ourselves that we could see deeply into ourselves 01:08:24.389 --> 01:08:33.779 and we're coming a bit closer to the reality of who really are that we 01:08:33.779 --> 01:08:43.279 can come a bit closer to the reality of who that person really is and what it is 01:08:43.279 --> 01:08:53.339 that were looking at so enlightenment is possible and it's simple to do it simple 01:08:53.339 --> 01:09:05.150 to experiencing and it starts at is breath mindful breath mindful steps 01:09:05.240 --> 01:09:11.279 there's this you know some people say that Thai only teaches breathing in and 01:09:11.279 --> 01:09:18.180 breathing out but if you can really practice breathing 01:09:18.180 --> 01:09:26.910 in breathing out deeply you can experience enlightenment awakening right 01:09:26.910 --> 01:09:40.740 here right now so thank you for, thank you for embarking on this journey with 01:09:40.740 --> 01:09:49.560 all us here in Plum Village, a journey to wake up, to become enlightened and that 01:09:49.560 --> 01:10:00.260 with every step you make and every breath we take we experience enlightenment 01:10:00.260 --> 01:10:03.830 thank you for listening