0:02:07.300,0:02:16.600 Dear respected Thay, dear brothers and[br]sisters, dear friends, today is the 26th 0:02:16.600,0:02:23.950 of November 2017 we are in the[br]Stillwater meditation hall of the Upper 0:02:23.950,0:02:34.750 Hamlet, Plum village and we'll[br]continue with the theme the seven factors 0:02:34.750,0:02:49.980 of awakening, of enlightenment. I'm always[br]really fascinated by this theme 0:02:49.980,0:03:01.720 enlightenment because I I feel that[br]there's more than what I can hear and 0:03:01.720,0:03:15.160 what I can perceive and what I know and[br]I remember going through times in my 0:03:15.160,0:03:34.729 life when I had this burning desire to[br]know to understand because I feel 0:03:40.180,0:03:46.110 there's a curtain that prevent me from[br]seeing what's actually there 0:03:46.110,0:03:55.150 and this feeling this desire was so[br]strong with my mom passed away I really 0:03:55.150,0:04:08.980 wanted to know where is she now, which[br]direction is she going into. And I felt 0:04:08.980,0:04:20.229 if I could just you know draw away the[br]curtain I can't really see and yet it felt 0:04:20.229,0:04:35.710 really impossible for me to draw that[br]curtain so that I can actually see so then 0:04:35.710,0:04:39.030 I can really understand 0:04:44.889,0:04:56.150 and in my life as a practitioner I felt[br]a lot of time that I am wearing tinted 0:04:56.150,0:05:04.370 glasses to look at reality. I[br]have an idea of reality, I have an idea, a 0:05:04.370,0:05:12.380 perception of myself and of other people[br]and I can't really you know like really 0:05:12.380,0:05:21.020 put down that glasses so that I can see[br]reality as it is and I can see other 0:05:21.020,0:05:28.370 people as who they are and not just[br]ideas and perceptions and prejudices 0:05:28.370,0:05:41.060 that I have so a burning desire in me to[br]really experience enlightenment. To really 0:05:41.060,0:05:49.750 have a taste of it because I know once[br]I'm able to experience enlightenment 0:05:51.039,0:06:03.979 then I can see what my flesh eye cannot[br]see, I can understand what my mind cannot 0:06:03.979,0:06:11.599 perceive. And so I always talk about[br]enlightenment. 0:06:11.599,0:06:21.830 I always touch on it every time I give a[br]talk. And one time one of the 0:06:21.830,0:06:27.770 younger brothers came up to me after my[br]talk about enlightenment and he said: 0:06:27.770,0:06:35.720 "Sister you were very brave to talk about[br]enlightenment!" and I knew that wasn't a 0:06:35.720,0:06:37.900 compliment. 0:06:38.450,0:06:47.970 And I asked "what do you mean?" and he said:[br]"the brothers, well some of the 0:06:47.970,0:06:57.090 brothers, are very allergic to the word[br]enlightenment". And I thought what's with 0:06:57.090,0:07:06.810 you brothers I mean maybe that's why you[br]have a lot of difficulties maybe because 0:07:06.810,0:07:15.570 you don't set high enough goal for your[br]for your practice and that's when I 0:07:15.570,0:07:22.770 realize that maybe people do have[br]negative idea negative connotation to 0:07:22.770,0:07:37.740 the world enlightenment and so the theme[br]of the talks this winter is about 0:07:37.740,0:07:45.480 enlightenment how can we experience[br]enlightenment here and now what 0:07:45.480,0:07:52.300 practices can we do to become[br]enlightened 0:07:55.180,0:08:00.580 and so instead of using the word[br]enlightenment I learned to use the word 0:08:00.580,0:08:08.770 awakening I think it makes more sense to[br]me because it's like we've been sleeping 0:08:08.770,0:08:19.650 all along for a million years with our[br]eyes closed even when we are awake we 0:08:19.650,0:08:28.090 live in a dream even when we are awake[br]and then artists under our eyes opened 0:08:28.090,0:08:37.300 and seen so it's a beautiful image for[br]me the word of wakening really provokes 0:08:37.300,0:08:49.210 them image of waking up to what's there.[br]And so so let me write down the Seven 0:08:49.210,0:09:01.530 Factors of Awakening. Last week sr Jina[br]had already talked about mindfulness 0:09:10.819,0:09:22.980 So the Seven Factors of Awaking, it[br]starts with mindfulness. 0:09:22.980,0:09:44.750 The second one is investigation[br]of phenomenas, or dharmas. 0:09:50.330,0:09:56.230 The third one is diligent or energy. 0:10:10.450,0:10:41.250 The fourth is joy, the fifth is tranquility, sixth is[br]concentration and the seventh equanimity 0:10:48.800,0:10:58.360 so today I will talk about investigation[br]so as you have already learned that there 0:10:58.360,0:11:04.240 are the 3 important practices, three[br]essential practices, we call them the 0:11:04.240,0:11:12.160 three trainings or the three learnings.[br]It's mindfulness concentration and 0:11:12.160,0:11:24.760 insight. These are three precious gems in[br]our heart. And mindfulness simply means 0:11:24.760,0:11:30.210 to know what's happening here now. 0:11:31.830,0:11:38.430 Mindfulness is a light inside ourselves 0:11:38.430,0:11:51.760 that once it's lit up we can see we can see[br]not just with our eyes but we can see 0:11:51.760,0:12:00.040 with our mind what's happening in our[br]body what's happening did our mind and 0:12:00.040,0:12:08.650 also what's happening around us. And like sister Jina said if only you take up this 0:12:08.650,0:12:17.380 practice the mindfulness practice as[br]she has shared last week it's already 0:12:17.380,0:12:23.770 enough for you to become enlightened.[br]Because once you are embodied 0:12:23.770,0:12:38.620 with mindfulness you you radiate with[br]light and that you see you can see so 0:12:38.620,0:12:48.880 much more and when you are mindful it[br]means that you're there you're present 0:12:48.880,0:12:53.400 for whatever it is that you're looking at 0:12:54.330,0:13:01.780 and when you stay with it long enough[br]you see see very deeply and that's 0:13:01.780,0:13:08.020 mindfulness concentration and insight[br]and that feeling it's coming from a very 0:13:08.020,0:13:17.110 deep place inside it's like a gut[br]feeling experience and once you have 0:13:17.110,0:13:23.500 that insight you know this is it it's[br]like aha 0:13:23.500,0:13:31.810 is that a high experience and it helps[br]you to understand and it liberates you 0:13:31.810,0:13:42.780 from whatever it is that you still get[br]stuck in or tell you have not understood 0:13:43.710,0:13:50.050 so that's mindfulness concentration and[br]insight in brief but when you look at 0:13:50.050,0:13:55.260 the seven factors of awakening we don't[br]really see insight 0:13:55.260,0:14:01.380 there's concentration there's[br]mindfulness but there's no insight 0:14:07.850,0:14:19.490 and insight is very important the[br]element that liberates it's not there 0:14:28.030,0:14:33.990 I can see in your faces that you have[br]the answer already 0:14:39.210,0:14:59.770 that's because investigation of dharma's[br]which means to look deeply, to search to be 0:14:59.770,0:15:14.820 curious, helps us to understand.[br]So investigation leads to insight. 0:15:14.820,0:15:26.320 So in investigation, if we practice it then[br]there's understanding, there's insight. 0:15:26.460,0:15:35.920 So insight is actually there. But of course[br]if we practice mindfulness you can also 0:15:35.920,0:15:42.310 find insight to mindfulness. If you[br]practice concentration you can also find 0:15:42.310,0:15:47.410 insight in concentration. Because this[br]three things. mindfulness concentration and 0:15:47.410,0:15:56.310 insight, they go together. Each is giving[br]birth to the other they are connected. 0:16:02.470,0:16:12.300 And so how do we practice investigation?[br]How do we practice looking deeply? 0:16:44.160,0:16:53.220 This is a question that came up all the[br]time in my practice for myself, but also 0:16:53.220,0:16:58.300 questions that came up for my younger[br]brothers and sisters about how to 0:16:58.300,0:17:05.250 practice looking deeply. How to[br]practice the factor of awakening 0:17:05.250,0:17:08.250 investigation? 0:17:14.310,0:17:27.950 Is it speculation? Is it analyzing? 0:17:32.110,0:17:39.929 Is it thinking over and over and over[br]about something? 0:17:49.540,0:18:01.050 well I'll share this morning how I[br]practice investigation because since 0:18:01.050,0:18:08.530 understanding is so important for me[br]that it's something that I've dwelled on 0:18:08.530,0:18:21.820 a lot like I said the biggest suffering[br]for me is not understand not knowing 0:18:27.300,0:18:35.700 like seeing things[br]through this window and not being able 0:18:35.710,0:18:44.040 to get out of this window to see the[br]whole picture because when I look at 0:18:44.050,0:18:49.710 this window this reality it's 0:18:58.600,0:19:08.860 just a tiny teeny picture of the whole[br]picture a tiny bit like one little 0:19:08.860,0:19:17.740 jigsaw, jigsaw piece of a jigsaw puzzle[br]and only if I get out of this room 0:19:17.740,0:19:28.760 outside of this window that I can see[br]the whole picture. So let us look into 0:19:28.760,0:19:34.550 the sutras to see what the Buddha say[br]about Investigation how to practice 0:19:34.550,0:19:47.900 investigation to see whether it's really[br]speculation and analysis analyzing us as 0:19:47.900,0:19:57.290 we learned that you know in school just[br]speculate things using our intellect to 0:19:57.290,0:20:01.480 analyse things using our intellect 0:20:08.460,0:20:17.410 so let's begin with the sutra on[br]mindful breathing we all know the 0:20:17.410,0:20:29.049 practices of the sutra on mindful[br]breathing and it always begins whatever 0:20:29.049,0:20:35.460 it is that we're looking at whether[br]we're looking at our body or a feeling 0:20:35.460,0:20:49.210 or a mind or our perception which is[br]really the objects of mind we always 0:20:49.210,0:20:58.510 begin with breathing so breathing in I'm[br]aware of my breathing my body breathing 0:20:58.510,0:21:09.809 out I'm aware of my body we start with[br]breathing in I'm aware of my breathing 0:21:09.809,0:21:17.260 pretty now I'm aware of my breathing and[br]so whether we look into the body or 0:21:17.260,0:21:25.360 whether we are looking into our feeling[br]or whether we look into impermanence or 0:21:25.360,0:21:39.730 the idea of non-self we always have to[br]dwell on the breath which means we're to 0:21:39.730,0:21:52.460 be present which means[br]no thinking you have to stay present for 0:21:52.460,0:21:59.240 the breathing with our body with our[br]breath when we look deeply into 0:21:59.240,0:22:18.350 something and it makes so much sense[br]because when we look deeply why are not 0:22:18.350,0:22:26.360 using a breath while we're not mindful[br]or present what happened is that we can 0:22:26.360,0:22:37.639 easily get caught up in our thoughts[br]stories we have you know head ideas you 0:22:37.639,0:22:44.870 have about you know whatever it is that[br]we're looking at and before we know it 0:22:44.870,0:22:56.480 we're miles away from where we are from[br]the present moment and so we can go in 0:22:56.480,0:23:00.049 there with the intention good intention[br]of wanting to look deeply into something 0:23:00.049,0:23:05.539 and the next thing we knew, it's like we're[br]wasting our time thinking about one 0:23:05.539,0:23:15.649 thing to the next. Does that happen in[br]you? It happens to all of us because 0:23:15.649,0:23:21.220 we're not really present and so the[br]breath helps us to stay afloat 0:23:21.220,0:23:32.000 so that we're not submerged in the sea[br]of thinking so that's the first thing 0:23:32.000,0:23:39.159 that we learn for the future[br]he said the breath is so instrumental 0:23:39.159,0:23:45.669 and happiness to be able to look deeply[br]into something 0:23:56.750,0:24:04.460 so let's breathe with the sound of the[br]Bell and just stay pressing with a 0:24:04.460,0:24:10.850 breath we notice it coming in coming out[br]we notice the beginning of the breath 0:24:10.850,0:24:14.679 and the end of the breath 0:25:19.200,0:25:26.789 so the breathing helps us to be really[br]quiet in our mind so that was consumed 0:25:27.779,0:25:40.269 and then there's another sutra that I[br]really like, and I always, it's like my my 0:25:40.269,0:25:45.609 daily practice, is the sutra, the[br]discourse on the four foundations of 0:25:45.609,0:25:55.739 mindfulness which helps me to see one[br]how to practice looking deeply 0:26:07.080,0:26:19.340 and again this discourse, this sutra,[br]shows us how to practice 0:26:21.340,0:26:34.200 mindfulness in our body in our feeling[br]in our mind and in the object of mind 0:26:37.300,0:26:51.620 and what would I really like about this[br]sutra is that so we don't have to do 0:26:51.620,0:27:01.270 much we don't have to do anything that[br]we simply acknowledge what's there 0:27:01.270,0:27:17.320 we acknowledge its presence the presence[br]of a feeling or of a mind state such as 0:27:17.320,0:27:30.830 anger or love and we acknowledge that[br]it's there and if it's not there which 0:27:30.830,0:27:39.920 is acknowledged oh it's not there[br]anymore my mind there is no hate in my 0:27:39.920,0:27:49.030 mind there's no love in my mind that's[br]all there there is to it 0:27:49.270,0:28:00.970 it's a practice of recognition which is[br]there and in what some in other world 0:28:00.970,0:28:10.010 which is we should be present and be[br]aware of so what habits happening in the 0:28:10.010,0:28:17.860 body in the mind in the feeling and in[br]whatever it is that looked me looking at 0:28:17.870,0:28:34.090 there's no there's no judgement to it[br]there's no, you know, association 0:28:34.090,0:28:42.470 associating this this mental state with[br]stories that we have or with experiences 0:28:42.470,0:28:57.950 we had in the past simply just real[br]recognition of what's there so what this 0:28:57.950,0:29:07.039 day is about looking deeply for me is[br]that apart from being really present and 0:29:07.039,0:29:17.740 mindful of my breath I also need to keep[br]myself really quiet 0:29:24.210,0:29:31.690 no thinking in Zen no mind they call it[br]no mind it's in mine 0:29:31.690,0:29:42.580 which means you're thinking stuff in[br]mind and how is that possible 0:29:42.580,0:29:49.090 you may think how is it possible that[br]there's no thinking I mean we think all 0:29:49.090,0:30:00.240 the time sometimes we're so drained[br]without thinking and we can't stop it 0:30:00.240,0:30:12.460 this ceaseless thinking that's when the[br]practice of mindfulness becomes really 0:30:12.460,0:30:19.780 helpful to quiet down our mind you know[br]being aware of the breath being aware of 0:30:19.780,0:30:24.360 the body being aware of our steps and 0:30:24.419,0:30:34.140 that's why when we practice mindfulness[br]we are already practicing looking deeply 0:30:37.410,0:30:50.640 and I'm reading a book by master Linji[br]our patriarch and you know he used this 0:30:50.640,0:30:57.620 really radical methods to help us cut[br]off our thinking and to come in touch 0:30:57.620,0:31:08.280 with our own Buddha nature and I really[br]enjoyed it because for me looking deeply 0:31:08.280,0:31:13.760 it's about cutting off our thinking some[br]speculation is not about internal 0:31:13.760,0:31:21.060 intellectual speculation or analyzing[br]it's not about sitting there and think 0:31:21.060,0:31:29.090 and think and think even if you're just[br]thinking about yourself or impermanence 0:31:29.300,0:31:44.340 because the more you think the more you[br]become confused the more we think we are 0:31:44.340,0:31:52.050 only coming in touch with our ideas and[br]perceptions and preconceived ideas and 0:31:52.050,0:31:59.090 notions and we can't really experience[br]reality as it is we can't really see 0:31:59.090,0:32:03.380 beyond this curtain 0:32:10.240,0:32:20.280 and so this comes to mind the practice[br]of stopping arriving and looking deeply 0:32:20.280,0:32:29.700 stopping and looking deeply these are[br]two aspects of meditation we stop 0:32:30.330,0:32:38.460 running in our head come back to the[br]present moment 0:32:38.640,0:32:47.440 and then receive we look deeply and the[br]metaphor that I really like is the 0:32:47.440,0:33:01.540 metaphor of a pond it's the image of a[br]pond a pond on on a windy day or a rainy 0:33:01.540,0:33:09.750 day when you look into a pond you see[br]lots of web ripples and waves you see 0:33:09.750,0:33:19.810 fragments of what's there you actually[br]don't see anything but on my still and 0:33:19.810,0:33:29.500 clear day like today he looked into a[br]pond and the water is so still and so 0:33:29.500,0:33:36.970 calm it reflects the blue sky it[br]reflects the white cloud affects the 0:33:36.970,0:33:44.940 tree in the water it's as if they're[br]like mirror image of one another 0:33:44.940,0:33:54.280 imagine the pond and also what's out[br]there and and it's a metaphor for the 0:33:54.280,0:34:00.070 mind because our mind is it's like that[br]whenever we have a lot of thinking and 0:34:00.070,0:34:06.220 thoughts and ideas in our head[br]the sec out it's full of ripples and 0:34:06.220,0:34:14.920 waves I can't see much within the dark[br]actually when we are just filled with so 0:34:14.920,0:34:18.600 much thoughts, ceaseless thoughts. 0:34:20.799,0:34:29.629 But when we are able to come back to[br]our breath come back to our body come 0:34:29.629,0:34:39.019 back to our steps the pond of our mind[br]becomes so still and so clear that we 0:34:39.019,0:34:44.210 see so deeply into it[br]we see causes and conditions why we are 0:34:44.210,0:34:54.549 the way we are why we feel the way we do[br]why we think the way we think and that 0:34:54.549,0:35:03.849 scene is not coming from a pure it's[br]coming because our mind is clear 0:35:18.030,0:35:29.550 and master Linji said you are already a[br]Buddha you don't need to look for the 0:35:29.550,0:35:35.040 Buddha outside of yourself and sometimes[br]the shouts at you if you come to him 0:35:35.040,0:35:41.550 with a lot of ideas and thinking to help[br]you cut up while you're thinking in you 0:35:41.550,0:35:46.140 know come in touch with your own Buddha[br]nature with the baby Buddha inside 0:35:46.140,0:35:55.080 yourself so I'd like to talk about mice[br]actually this place that we can look for 0:35:55.080,0:36:07.490 the Buddha inside ourselves since we're[br]talking about you know quiet in our mind 0:36:07.490,0:36:18.869 in order to see where's that scene[br]coming from Weston do you know where 0:36:18.869,0:36:23.660 exactly that insight is coming from 0:36:31.630,0:36:39.530 so we know about the store consciousness[br]right maybe some of you may not heard a 0:36:39.530,0:36:52.160 bit before so I'm just gonna say briefly[br]about it this is your mind and in the 0:36:52.160,0:36:57.320 depths of our being there our[br]consciousness our mind there's different 0:36:57.320,0:37:08.810 layers and our tradition we say about[br]eight layers in our mind so the deepest 0:37:08.810,0:37:14.500 of these eight layers is called the[br]store consciousness 0:37:19.810,0:37:31.210 in the store consciousness it stores all[br]kinds of seeds and heats a real 0:37:31.210,0:37:43.930 potentials potentials that were capable[br]of the whole spectrum of seeds the whole 0:37:43.930,0:37:54.820 spectrum of potentials from the most[br]positive to the most negative in other 0:37:54.820,0:38:02.910 word we have the seed of a Buddha inside[br]ourselves the seed of insight in us also 0:38:02.910,0:38:07.590 but we also have the seed of ignorance 0:38:08.370,0:38:22.140 which is the seed of not seeing not[br]knowing not understanding 0:38:28.960,0:38:32.210 and then we always have a see just[br]tomorrow 0:38:32.210,0:38:52.880 inside ourselves Mara is there in in us[br]too in other word everything that we're 0:38:52.880,0:38:58.609 looking for everything we have ever[br]experienced can be found right inside 0:38:58.609,0:39:08.660 ourselves in the depths of our being in[br]the store consciousness it preserves all 0:39:08.660,0:39:19.069 kinds of seeds it maintains all the[br]seeds in here and then there are the six 0:39:19.069,0:39:29.960 some there the six organs sense organs[br]there's we have the six sense organs the 0:39:29.960,0:39:34.369 eyes the ears the nose the tongue the[br]body and the mind 0:39:34.369,0:39:41.859 These are the six organs, and when these[br]six organs come in touch with its object 0:39:42.220,0:39:50.950 which is sight sound taste touch 0:39:56.729,0:40:10.029 smell or objects of mind these two[br]things come together it gives rise to an 0:40:10.029,0:40:18.039 awareness to a consciousness so there's[br]the eye consciousness the 0:40:18.039,0:40:26.109 ear-consciousness the nose consciousness[br]tongue consciousness and body 0:40:26.109,0:40:30.329 consciousness and then the mind[br]consciousness 0:41:22.200,0:41:29.460 and so whatever it is that we come in in[br]touch with through our senses actually 0:41:29.460,0:41:38.930 it's a trigger that taps into the seeds[br]in the depths of us store consciousness 0:41:39.320,0:41:49.200 it's a stimulus the trigger sit inside[br]and the seed manifest as a mental 0:41:49.200,0:41:55.410 formation as a state of mind that we can[br]actually experience in our body in our 0:41:55.410,0:42:10.760 mind we can actually sense it view it[br]touch it and so 0:42:16.000,0:42:23.150 whatever seeds that have been watered in[br]us becomes a significant it becomes 0:42:23.150,0:42:51.590 significant in other word it it affects[br]the quality of our being and that but we 0:42:51.590,0:42:58.460 think that the object is coming from[br]outside of ourselves and it goes in and 0:42:58.460,0:43:03.680 taps into our seeds and then you know[br]like this mental formation manifest it's 0:43:03.680,0:43:11.990 not like that I mean that's an image to[br]help us to understand how store 0:43:11.990,0:43:19.340 consciousness really works but the store[br]consciousness it's the subject of 0:43:19.340,0:43:26.360 knowing but it's it's at the same time[br]the object of knowing these two things 0:43:26.360,0:43:33.770 go together they manifest together but[br]what we feel or what we experience in 0:43:33.770,0:43:46.210 what we see are manifesting together so[br]the subject and the object of cognition 0:43:46.210,0:43:55.910 manifests at the same time it is not[br]something we're taking they are already 0:43:55.910,0:44:04.910 there in a form of seeds and so when[br]they manifest the manifests as the 0:44:04.910,0:44:08.980 subject and as the object 0:44:12.160,0:44:15.160 and 0:44:22.190,0:44:33.259 and this helps me it helps me to see[br]that I don't really need to go out there 0:44:33.259,0:44:39.259 and look at things that it investigate[br]on things out there all I need to do is 0:44:39.259,0:44:49.089 go back to here in order to investigate[br]what's inside of me because what is 0:44:49.089,0:45:03.259 manifesting in me because what's[br]manifesting in me as actually what's 0:45:03.259,0:45:07.880 manifesting out there is actually a[br]projection of what's manifesting in me 0:45:07.880,0:45:20.349 exactly and so for me the object of my[br]investigation is here it's here and 0:45:20.349,0:45:26.029 that's why when you come to plum village[br]like all our practices it's encouraging 0:45:26.029,0:45:35.180 you to come back to yourself[br]the bells happiness to come back and mr. 0:45:35.180,0:45:39.200 Ling Zhi keeps saying come back and[br]recognize that the Buddha is inside you 0:45:39.200,0:45:44.779 don't need to look for the Buddha[br]outside of you and so it becomes really 0:45:44.779,0:45:53.089 clear for me that the object of my[br]investigation is myself and it makes so 0:45:53.089,0:46:04.279 much sense because when I understand[br]myself then I can understand other 0:46:04.279,0:46:06.910 people 0:46:10.740,0:46:21.880 when I understand my impermanence the[br]impermanence of my body and mind then I 0:46:21.880,0:46:30.400 can understand the impermanence of[br]everything there is and what I really 0:46:30.400,0:46:36.130 like about this is that I don't really[br]have to you know look for I don't have 0:46:36.130,0:46:42.030 to go out there and to practice that I[br]have everything I need to practice 0:46:42.030,0:46:46.410 mindfulness to practice looking deeply 0:46:49.650,0:47:02.490 so go back because you have everything[br]you need to help you to understand 0:47:02.490,0:47:05.490 reality 0:47:14.710,0:47:19.780 and 0:47:31.220,0:47:38.390 and suffering the experience in our life[br]suffering difficulties the challenges we 0:47:38.390,0:47:51.050 go through they actually really really[br]useful there was to stop and look and in 0:47:51.050,0:47:58.660 my life has in my practice I noticed[br]that I went through times when I am 0:47:58.660,0:48:07.430 quite slacking I may be you know[br]appearing you know in the sunglass 0:48:07.430,0:48:13.940 activity but I'm actually really[br]slacking in a silent because things are 0:48:13.940,0:48:24.050 so easy to know I feel peaceful if[br]you're calm and I take it for granted it 0:48:24.050,0:48:33.140 is only the challenges the suffering[br]that I experience that really pushes me 0:48:33.140,0:48:40.640 to like look look a bit deeper and so[br]actually it's it's good news to have 0:48:40.640,0:48:47.810 suffering and when you look at it in[br]that way suffering is narrative and it's 0:48:47.810,0:48:53.030 actually really good they're[br]opportunities we always see suffering 0:48:53.030,0:48:57.800 when we experience suffering that we see[br]yourself as being a victim and that 0:48:57.800,0:49:03.579 really weakens us but when we see that[br]suffering and difficulties are 0:49:03.579,0:49:13.040 opportunities to have a scope a bit[br]deeper in ourselves to understand then 0:49:13.040,0:49:20.690 they're like really really valuable[br]opportunities that's why suffering is 0:49:20.690,0:49:27.319 it's a no achieve right it's noble[br]because it helps us to come in touch 0:49:27.319,0:49:31.810 with reality with who we really are 0:49:32.619,0:49:37.010 and we're more than just these[br]difficulties with the Buddha we're not 0:49:37.010,0:49:41.780 just Mara[br]we're the Buddha too and so these 0:49:41.780,0:49:45.830 opportunities the suffering helps us to[br]come in touch with the Buddha inside 0:49:45.830,0:49:50.920 ourselves and bring in her a life 0:49:59.819,0:50:04.869 and I'll share with you about how I[br]prepared the Dharma talk because I 0:50:04.869,0:50:10.210 always a problem preparing for Dhamma[br]talk I really don't know how to prepare 0:50:10.210,0:50:15.250 a Dharma talk I noticed my sister's[br]coming up with like a lot of paper and 0:50:15.250,0:50:19.420 stuff like that and I'm like wow that's[br]great 0:50:19.420,0:50:27.670 I wish I could do that and I try to[br]think nothing comes to mind that's my 0:50:27.670,0:50:34.240 problem and so what I did this time was[br]that I know this is a really important 0:50:34.240,0:50:42.720 topic but you know because you know it's[br]it's enlightenment 0:50:44.860,0:50:52.790 and so I asked my older sister[br]can you please pretty please give me 0:50:52.790,0:51:00.230 some questions what is it that you want[br]me to talk about what do you want in you 0:51:00.230,0:51:03.770 what do you want to know about the[br]investigation 0:51:03.770,0:51:08.619 give me some questions and then I also[br]told my mentee to give me some questions 0:51:08.619,0:51:15.490 and I told them a week before and so[br]they gave me all these questions and 0:51:15.490,0:51:22.580 when I dealt with this question with[br]them I didn't trust this question in my 0:51:22.580,0:51:29.900 store consciousness I said okay take[br]over I'm not gonna think because I 0:51:29.900,0:51:41.380 cannot think and so that's I did and[br]then I kept really quiet to know in my 0:51:41.380,0:51:50.450 daily activity I do my best to be[br]mindful and to be really conscious of 0:51:50.450,0:52:02.390 what's unfolding inside and then but you[br]know like this idea comes up even when I 0:52:02.390,0:52:11.180 least expected like what I should say[br]and how I said what not how I should say 0:52:11.180,0:52:18.350 it because I never know how I should say[br]it whatever comes comes it's coming in 0:52:18.350,0:52:28.900 touch with everyone that trigger[br]whatever it is that it come out and 0:52:34.110,0:52:40.270 and I and this is what I do in my daily[br]life is that I have to trust my store 0:52:40.270,0:52:49.300 consciousness and when we are keeping[br]our self really quiet really mindful to 0:52:49.300,0:53:02.220 reflect on what's there this is exactly[br]what we're doing we're and Trust in the 0:53:02.220,0:53:09.870 store consciousness with these issues[br]for it to work for us and it's actually 0:53:09.870,0:53:15.460 less costly because that's the nature of[br]store consciousness is that it works 0:53:15.460,0:53:20.740 night and day even when we are asleep[br]maybe when I am asleep you know like 0:53:20.740,0:53:25.720 these questions it's working in the[br]depths of my store consciousness to 0:53:25.720,0:53:29.310 prepare the Dharma talk for me 0:53:43.520,0:53:48.010 it's very costly when we have to think 0:53:49.840,0:54:00.650 because our brain with only 2% of the[br]whole total total body mass and it 0:54:00.650,0:54:10.460 consumes 25% of the energy of our whole[br]body but if we are like having this 0:54:10.460,0:54:22.340 episode of like ceaseless thinking that[br]will stop even when we are completely 0:54:22.340,0:54:26.630 exhausted even when we have like a[br]terrible headache and we couldn't stop 0:54:26.630,0:54:37.160 thinking anybody if experienced that[br]before a few of you well that happened 0:54:37.160,0:54:47.840 to me so I know I've been there and so[br]it drains you and yet you're still in 0:54:47.840,0:54:57.650 the dark because the more you think the[br]more in the dark you are but if you 0:54:57.650,0:55:05.210 entrust these issues to your store[br]consciousness like I have interested 0:55:05.210,0:55:14.960 these questions in their store[br]consciousness store consciousness what 0:55:14.960,0:55:23.740 would we do its work and they will[br]provide us with the answer 0:55:26.740,0:55:38.809 and that answer is inside so inside this[br]now coming from our head inside is 0:55:38.809,0:55:51.920 coming for the depths of our being so[br]trusting in my store consciousness helps 0:55:51.920,0:55:58.059 me not to be so tired and also dreamed 0:55:58.119,0:56:04.240 so the practice is not about getting[br]more the practice is about cleaner in 0:56:04.240,0:56:11.599 clearing away because we already have[br]woven whatever it is that we're looking 0:56:11.599,0:56:14.960 for we already have inside inside[br]ourselves 0:56:14.960,0:56:22.660 it's about clearing away these ideas and[br]thoughts and perceptions and thinking 0:56:22.660,0:56:34.599 that means that this but the space is in[br]room this inside - and for 0:56:43.790,0:57:02.070 so one in the inevitable question that[br]came from my sisters is how do they give 0:57:02.070,0:57:19.520 an example or how do I practice looking[br]deeply to walk through my suffering 0:57:43.410,0:57:51.119 you know I've been up here many times[br]before in the last day was in more than 0:57:51.119,0:57:59.430 two years you know that before that time[br]is always appear and we have the 0:57:59.430,0:58:05.990 pleasure to sit in down there and listen[br]you know being up here it's kind of I 0:58:05.990,0:58:16.500 feel like it's I feel transparent up[br]here because it's beyond me what 0:58:16.500,0:58:28.049 actually comes out and sometimes my[br]sister said it's a good talk or sometime 0:58:28.049,0:58:30.750 it's not a very good talk and I said I'm[br]sorry 0:58:30.750,0:58:37.019 whatever comes out you just have to[br]accept because I can't do anything about 0:58:37.019,0:58:48.660 it it's my store consciousness I blame[br]it on my store consciousness and but 0:58:48.660,0:58:57.259 this time I have to admit I'm a bit[br]nervous to come up here 0:59:04.849,0:59:21.170 how to breathe with that feeling and I[br]heard this voice underneath that feeling 0:59:21.170,0:59:36.200 of nervousness the voice that I'm not[br]good enough it's a voice familiar I'm 0:59:36.200,0:59:53.259 not good enough and this voice it's[br]really a very oh oh friend of mine 0:59:58.730,1:00:08.630 a voice that was there when I was a[br]child and especially when I was a 1:00:08.630,1:00:17.840 teenager and I had to work a lot with[br]that voice that I'm not good enough I'm 1:00:17.840,1:00:22.940 not good enough[br]every day - no I'm not intelligent 1:00:22.940,1:00:28.700 enough I'm not beautiful enough I'm not[br]enough of this and I'm not enough of 1:00:28.700,1:00:35.600 that[br]and I had to work a lot with with that 1:00:35.600,1:00:47.260 when I begun when I began my my my life[br]my practice and what I realized was then 1:00:47.260,1:00:58.880 that voice was actually connected to I[br]don't know if it's connected but it has 1:00:58.880,1:01:09.109 to do with my dad I never talked about[br]my dad in the community I talked a lot 1:01:09.109,1:01:13.210 about my mom but never about my dad 1:01:26.100,1:01:34.020 that's because I don't know what it's[br]like to have a dad that's because my dad 1:01:34.020,1:01:45.600 passed away we know it's one and a half[br]years old and I grew up filthy feeling 1:01:45.600,1:01:55.700 there's something wrong with me that I'm[br]not complete but I'm not good enough 1:01:55.700,1:02:12.210 not good enough and that as a teenager[br]as a child I felt like there's a hole 1:02:12.210,1:02:22.020 inside here even though my mom was a[br]very loving caring she was never 1:02:22.020,1:02:27.540 remarried so that she cannot she can[br]really put all her energy and her love 1:02:27.540,1:02:40.280 for for us and now it's the internal[br]process that was happening inside 1:02:47.210,1:02:57.810 excessive there's a missing piece of the[br]jigsaw puzzle inside me and it created a 1:02:57.810,1:03:05.460 lot of suffering for me and in my my[br]practice whenever I experienced 1:03:05.460,1:03:13.430 suffering it's always coming back to[br]that suffering as a child as a teenager 1:03:13.430,1:03:24.800 and that voice have always been there[br]and I have to walk along with it 1:03:29.760,1:03:39.630 and so and so when I knew this is where[br]it was coming from I had promised to 1:03:39.630,1:03:52.650 accept myself as sure I was and I[br]practiced to see my father in myself to 1:03:52.650,1:04:06.690 see my dad in myself and I started to[br]notice things in my siblings that are 1:04:06.690,1:04:14.850 also email he may not be very strong in[br]my mom I know that's my dad so with the 1:04:14.850,1:04:23.960 practice I was able to fill up that hole[br]in the practice of understanding myself 1:04:23.960,1:04:35.250 the practice of accepting and loving[br]myself as Who I am but then once in a 1:04:35.250,1:04:45.780 blue it comes up again you know his[br]voice it comes up again but the practice 1:04:45.780,1:04:52.830 of looking deeply had helped me now to[br]recognize it immediately once it comes 1:04:52.830,1:05:03.859 up so that it doesn't have the charge[br]and the power to overwhelm me as it had 1:05:03.859,1:05:07.910 you know as a teenager 1:05:17.700,1:05:27.780 and so whatever it is that we have to[br]work with whatever voice it is that's 1:05:27.780,1:05:42.000 keep telling us about ourselves it's[br]actually a wrong perception of myself if 1:05:42.000,1:05:51.690 we look deeper into ourselves we see[br]that we're more than just this voice and 1:05:51.690,1:05:57.780 that actually helped to fill up that[br]hole in our soul it makes us feel 1:05:57.780,1:06:05.190 complete so whatever it is that you're[br]experiencing to be the object of your 1:06:05.190,1:06:10.069 investigation and that's why we need to[br]start 1:06:16.420,1:06:27.130 and so investigation really as a factor[br]self listening to ourselves listening to 1:06:27.130,1:06:38.940 this voice inside and I realized that we[br]don't do this very often when we are 1:06:38.940,1:06:48.490 when we have like a quiet time quite[br]place with ourselves we see that there's 1:06:48.490,1:06:58.269 so much thoughts thinking and ideas but[br]if we can just listen to those thoughts 1:06:58.269,1:07:03.519 and ideas you know like it's very soft[br]voice inside it's like there's just like 1:07:03.519,1:07:11.980 a chattering box in the back of our head[br]you can actually understand ourselves a 1:07:11.980,1:07:23.140 lot and a lot and a lot and it could be[br]really healing to be able to understand 1:07:23.140,1:07:30.880 to be able to listen to love ways it[br]helps us to understand ourselves and why 1:07:30.880,1:07:36.299 we are the way we are why is the further[br]way we do what we when we get triggered 1:07:36.299,1:07:48.329 the way we do so awakening or[br]enlightenment it's not something 1:07:48.329,1:07:58.269 something beyond us and they're not just[br]ideas either you know whatever ideas 1:07:58.269,1:08:04.470 that that brother had about[br]enlightenment it's not about that either 1:08:04.500,1:08:14.920 it's about our daily experience of[br]living mindfully and of being still 1:08:14.920,1:08:24.389 enough inside ourselves that we could[br]see deeply into ourselves 1:08:24.389,1:08:33.779 and we're coming a bit closer[br]to the reality of who really are that we 1:08:33.779,1:08:43.279 can come a bit closer to the reality of[br]who that person really is and what it is 1:08:43.279,1:08:53.339 that were looking at so enlightenment is[br]possible and it's simple to do it simple 1:08:53.339,1:09:05.150 to experiencing and it starts at is[br]breath mindful breath mindful steps 1:09:05.240,1:09:11.279 there's this you know some people say[br]that Thai only teaches breathing in and 1:09:11.279,1:09:18.180 breathing out[br]but if you can really practice breathing 1:09:18.180,1:09:26.910 in breathing out deeply you can[br]experience enlightenment awakening right 1:09:26.910,1:09:40.740 here right now so thank you for, thank[br]you for embarking on this journey with 1:09:40.740,1:09:49.560 all us here in Plum Village, a journey to[br]wake up, to become enlightened and that 1:09:49.560,1:10:00.260 with every step you make and every breath[br]we take we experience enlightenment 1:10:00.260,1:10:03.830 thank you for listening