WEBVTT

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I grew up with two working parents,

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and their schedules didn’t often align–

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so my brother and I would spend 
afternoons and long summer days

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at my grandparents’ house.

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This was a place where you were sure to 
put things back where they belonged

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and didn't leave objects out on the floor.

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It wasn't because my grandparents 
were strict.

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My grandmother, Josie, was blind.

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And if we messed with that order,

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and didn't put things back
where they belonged,

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it could cause confusion, frustration,

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or even physical harm.

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I remember as a kid trying to understand
what it would be like to navigate spaces

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without my sense of sight.

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I would close my eyes real tight,

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and I would try to remember the way my
grandparents’ living room looked–

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I walked with my small hands 
outstretched in front of me–

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until I ran into a chair, and then a 
lamp, and then the wall.

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It was in that moment that 
I was in awe of her.

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On the occasion that my brother and I 
would be spending the entire day

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at my grandparents' house,

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we would bring along our VHS tapes,

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you know pre-DVD or streaming service?

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And many, if not all of those tapes were 
Disney movies–

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we were American children 
of the late 80s early 90s.

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We would sit on that bright red 
carpet staring up at their large TV

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housed in an even larger 
entertainment center.

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In between preparing meals,

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my grandmother would come in and she'd sit
down in her recliner,

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and she'd say, “Tell me about 
your stories,”

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referencing the action taking place 
on the screen.

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Aladdin was one of our favorites
to enjoy together.

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I would describe the desert backgrounds,

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the clothing on the characters, 
the expressions on their faces.

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I can recall her smile as I described a 
“whole new world”

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and that magic carpet ride 
through the clouds.

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I wanted her to feel included, 
to be a part of what we were watching.

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And those thoughts were a 
response to my feelings of empathy.

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I had this unique childhood where I was 
learning about empathy

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through my relationship with my
grandmother…

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through our watching of Disney movies.

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But I know not everyone has an
experience like that.

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But I believe that it is important 
and crucial

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that we provide our children with 
opportunities

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to have relationships that foster 
empathetic connections.

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Now as a quick aside, I know the word
empathy comes with its own baggage.

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Maybe in your circles it's a word that's
thrown around so much

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that you're sick of hearing about it,

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or it's lost its meaning altogether.

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Or, maybe you've heard it said that
empathy is a “soft skill”

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that needs to be shared with our students.

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I attest that there is nothing “soft” 
or mooshy about it.

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Instead, it is a critical 
skill to be honed

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as we learn what it means to be human.


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I'm an elementary art educator.

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I teach my students about 
artists, culture,

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and the purposeful use of art materials.

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But I also see it as my role 
to engage them

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in conversations about 
character education,

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and specifically empathy.

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But how do we often define empathy
to our youngest children?

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Think about it.

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Often times you might use the...

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“Walk in someone else’s shoes.”

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Sure that works as a metaphor,

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but now I want you to put yourself in the
mind of a kindergartner.

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A kindergartner that might go,

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"Why am I putting on someone else’s
shoes!?”

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That is weird to them,

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they don’t understand the language we're
using for this really important topic.

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And even a simplified definition such as

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“understanding and sharing the feelings of
others”

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is really hard to internalize 
as a 5-year-old.

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So instead, very purposeful conversations
about practical, observable behaviors

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is necessary.

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How do I show empathy in the classroom, 
at the park with my friends,

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to my grandmother,

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to someone that looks
differently than me,

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to someone that acts differently than me…?

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A year ago, I was sitting around with my
colleagues at school,

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and we were talking about 
character education.

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We were developing a
school-wide curriculum,

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and we went around and around 
about definitions and explanations.

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And then one summer night, 
it hit those of us in the room–

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our eyes were opened to the fact, that the
root of empathy lies in awareness.

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Awareness: “a noticing of what is 
happening in and around you

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so that you can make a choice.”

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You can have a response, have 
an empathetic response.

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But first, we have to have an 
awareness of ourselves.

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I'm the grocery shopper in our family.

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I take my list and enjoy the thrill of the
hunt as I try to stay below budget,

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which I mostly do.

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And one week I was notified
that we needed new napkins.

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And I came upon these 
illustrated beauties.

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They're conversation napkins.

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And we got a real kick out of them
as we went around the table.

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Every night, we would go around
at dinner time and answer them,

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and have fun, and laugh together.

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But it really got me thinking about a very
purposeful teaching opportunity

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I had with my own family.

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And so, I thought, we often times 
talk about our feelings

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"I'm happy," "I'm sad,"

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but do we spend time together 
talking about why we feel that way?

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And so I've gotten into the practice of 
asking my 5-year-old daughter

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about her day at school in this way:

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I say, “Tell me about a part of your
day when you were proud.

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Tell me about a part of your day 
when you were frustrated.

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Tell me about a part of your day 
when you were really excited.”

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Different nights I may ask about a 
different emotion, a different feeling.

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My favorite, "Tell me about 
a part of your day

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where you laughed so hard 
you fell on the floor."

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And I'm also sure as the adult, 
to tell her

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that I too, in that day, had moments 
where I was scared,

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and moments that I was proud,

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and definitely moments where I laughed
so hard that I fell on the floor.

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But you see, she's quick. 
She's real quick.

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And one day, I said, “Tell me about a 
part of your day when you were sad."

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And she said, "Well I wasn't sad,

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but my friend Ellie was sad when she 
didn’t get to play with the magnatiles.”

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See, the observed behaviors and 
feelings of others

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have become a part of who she is as
a person, and as a friend.

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And it all leads us to having 
an awareness of others.

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I was teaching a unit on architecture

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when Hurricane Harvey hit Houston.

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And it was to my fourth graders,

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and I had several fourth grade 
students come to class asking questions

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about how this natural disaster

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would affect the buildings in the city.

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And they were asking these questions,
they led us to other conversations

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and soon we were talking 
about how the elements

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would affect the lives 
of the people there.

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Soon the whole class was in conversation,
and I sat back and listened,

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as I watched them turn the story into 
about the art room

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of the students in Houston,

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and watching them almost see themselves
in that place,

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to then begin having conversations about
what would happen to the art supplies,

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and the furniture, and all of the art work
that they had spent their time on.

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As I listened, I wanted
to provide them with another opportunity,

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a way to artistically process the thoughts
and the feelings that they had.

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So, what I did is I introduced them to
two artists

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that cover items, and rooms, 
and actual houses with polka dots.

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What these artists are doing is talking
about our unity, about trauma,

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about community.

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And as a result, we created this
5 foot tall house structure.

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Now there's a lot more here than just 
playful polka dots–

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each of those dots represents 
an art supply

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that a fourth grade student donated
to a school in Houston.

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See it wasn't health supplies, or food, 
but it was art supplies.

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It had become very real to them.

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The idea that our room, our art room is a
safe place

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where they learn about themselves, 
about community, about the world,

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all while having fun.

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And the idea that there'd be 
children in Houston

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that maybe miss out
on those opportunities

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really resonated with them.

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It became real to them.

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See these thoughts, these 
feelings of empathy,

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led to practical practice...

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Their awareness led to practical practice.

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I no longer sit on the floor in front my
grandmother watching Disney movies.

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Those days are long gone.

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But now, I sit on the floor next to my
5-year-old daughter, also named Josie.

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We watch as Aladdin and Jasmine take 
flight on the magic carpet.

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And there's this moment where the
carpet takes a deep dive

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and Princess Jasmine braces herself in 
fear by covering her eyes with her hands.

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As she does so on the screen, 
so does my 5-year-old daughter.

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She is experiencing empathy 
for this animated princess,

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she's experiencing fear along with her.

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But it’s then that Aladdin responds 
to Jasmine and he says,

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“Don’t you dare close your eyes” 
and he pulls her hands from her face,

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opening her eyes to the experiences 
around her.

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And as he does, so do I with 
my 5-year-old daughter.

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I pull her fingers from her face.

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May we open our children’s eyes to the 
world around them

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to engage them in opportunities, thoughts,
actions, and relationships,

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that get them to not only “walk in someone
else’s shoes”

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but to live lives that consider others
more than themselves.

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Thank you.