WEBVTT

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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My name is Sadettin Kirmiziyüz.

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I am an assimilated agnostic migrant son,

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but my name, Sadettin, means "Joy of Faith".

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I was asked to give a short report

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on the pilgrimage to Mecca
I conducted in 2010 with my father.

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I have 18 minutes to do that.

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I will try to make it.

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I will take you through

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the rituals you perform during this pilgrimage.

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Where should I point?

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You apply for the Hajj with the Hollanda Diyanet Vakfi.

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For the Belgians: there's also
a Belgica Diyanet Vakfi,

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but I'll stick to the Dutch version.

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It is a Dutch affiliated department of the Turkish

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Presidency of Religious Affairs,

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founded in 1923 after Mustafa Kemal Atatürk

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abrogated the caliphate.

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The caliphate was the islamic pope.

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You enlist here.

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You pay 3,500 euro and you get

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your airplane ticket, visum, 4 weeks stay in a hotel

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and this

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Hajji bag.

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This is a survival kit.

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It contains all sorts of things:

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practical information, pictures, backgrounds, slippers,

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scentless soap, towels,

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the Ihram -- the white garment you wear

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when you are in the sacred state --

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and this prayer book.

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You keep it safe.

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You get vaccinated against malaria, streptococcus,
diphtheria, hepatitis, meningitis --

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hepatitis A, B, anything, polio,

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you send your vaccination passport and your passport

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to the Presidency of Religious Affairs

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and you're done.

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May God accept this pilgrimage
and make it easy for you.

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For muslims, the Hajj is the culmination
of their religious life.

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To celebrate this, at Schiphol airport, in my case,

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thousands of happy family members
say goodbye to hundreds of Hajji.

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There is a joint prayer

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to bless the journey,

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and those who stay behind are solemnly promised

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that they will be prayed for

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at the house of God, Baitullah, the Ka'aba.

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I was at Schiphol too,

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where thousands of happy
family members said goodbye

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to me and hundreds of Hajji.

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Next to me stood my girlfriend,

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from the Judeo-Christian civilisation.

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As we are standing there,

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the imam who will accompany us, starts to pray.

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I say agnostic, yes I do,

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but I understand very well
that this is a serious endeavour.

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So I raise my hands in prayer

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and realise that my girlfriend,
with whom I have been cohabiting for 7 years,

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has never seen me praying in all those years.

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Painful? Maybe.

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Even more painful is the fact
that the prayer I am supposed to join in,

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is unknown to me.

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So I playback.

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In Istanbul we enter the state of Ihram.

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The garment is called Ihram.

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The sacred state has the same name.

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This is a Hajji looking very much like me.

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My father helped me into this.

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There is no other way to put on the garment.

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You can't do it alone,
you help each other.

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The belt I wear around my waist

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needed an extra hole,

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because according to my father

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I am thin because I smoke.

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So I had to pray in Mecca
for Allah to help me quit smoking.

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To which I responded,

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"Oh, yes? Do you think Allah will help me quit?

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Really?"

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He said blandly, "Of course.
If you ask him, he helps you."

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You tuck one cloth around your waist
and one over your shoulder.

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As of that moment, the restrictions
of the sacred state apply.

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The restrictions are:

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no nail cuts, no haircuts, no shaving,
no scratching wounds,

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no use of scents, no swearing,
no complaining, no fighting,

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no underwear, no killing living beings
and no sex.

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That means no talking of sex,

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no thinking of sex,

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for four weeks.

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Infringements of these restrictions require atonement,

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spiritually and materially.

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Think "small gift to the poor".

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In the plane from Istanbul to Jedda --

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I can't show you here,
but Jedda is on the West Coast,

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it says "Jiddah", near the Red See --

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in that plane there is another joint prayer.

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You use your folding table to rest your forehead

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and as of that moment the Talbiyah can be intoned,

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a special pilgrimage prayer.

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Labbayka Allhumma labbayk, labbayka la shareeka.

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No Hajji in the room?

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Freely translated, it means,

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"Here I am, God, here I am,

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as I was meant to be here.

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Thine is the honor and the glory."

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But when one Hajji intones

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this Talbiyah, the others are supposed to join in.

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So you may happen to be on the bus

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from Jedda to Mecca,
four and a half hour through the desert,

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and you are slowly but soundly falling asleep,

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and the Hajji behind you may start,

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Labbayka Allhumma labbayk, labbayka la shareeka,

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so you join in.

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You need to get used to it,
but believe me: you get used to anything.

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Then we arrive in Mecca.

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We go straight to the sacred part of the city.

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You will not see Mecca itself during those four weeks.

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This is a replica of the Big Ben.

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They built it there.

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My father pointed out to me that it says
"Allah" in Arabic on the Big Ben.

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He thought that was very beautiful.

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You check into your hotel and as of that moment
you no longer enjoy double citizenship.

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You are no longer a Belgian Moroccan
or a Dutch Turk,

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you are simply a Moroccan or a Turk.
That's all.

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Go on.

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To the Masjid al-Haram,
the holy mosque,

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because that is where the Ka'aba is.

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By the way, Ka'aba just means "cube".

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What struck me immediately,
was its architecture,

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and I don't mean the number of minarets

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or domes, or the beauty of the ornaments,

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no, it was as if the architect had counted in

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the suspense generated by a first look

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at the Ka'aba.

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Because first you have to walk around those walls.

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That is a 500 to 600 meter walk.

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But you know it is there, the Ka'aba. You feel it.

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Outside, Hajji are praying,
in that direction.

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You get closer

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until you reach Gate 11.

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You take off your slippers, put them in a plastic bag,
put the bag in your backpack

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and then -- astonishment

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because I did not feel the way
I thought I would feel.

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Not that I didn't feel anything,
make no mistake.

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It was different.

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At home, in Amsterdam,

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I listened a lot to Oum Kalsoum,

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Fairuz, sufi music, Verdi's Requiem,

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I put the volume up and thought,

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yes, I will feel this, exactly this --

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but I wasn't.

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It was not what everybody said
I would feel.

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My father, on the bus to the Masjid al-Haram,

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"The Ka'aba is a magnet
and we are pieces of iron."

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Or my mother, who couldn't speak of it
without tears in her eyes,

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or my aunts, who called it
indescribable.

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But astonishment too --
because I make jokes, I laugh,

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I say 'agnostic',

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I flirt with atheism, maybe,

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but there were times when I was different.

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In every house I visited, when I was a child,

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every family member had a picture --

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maybe this picture.

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I walk around, butterflies in my stomach,

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in this white speckled human hurricane,

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pumped around this black pulsating heart,

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above me the moon and the stars,

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Allah on the Big Ben,

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and I feel the moon and the stars,
God on the Big Ben,

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and that black pulsating heart.

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Here we perform the first real ritual:

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the Tawaaf, the procession.

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Like the planets around the Sun,
the Moon around the Earth,

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so does man revolve around God.

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We go round seven times,
anti clockwise.

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We are reciting prayers from the prayer book,

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a prayer for every round,

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and after seven rounds
we perform a special prayer

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to close the Tawaaf. Masha Allah,
congratulations, you performed the Tawaaf.

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We go straight on.
I have 9 minutes left.

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We go to the next ritual, the Sa'i.

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The Sa'i is a hike between to hilltops,

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Seffa and Merveh, currently situated
within the Masjid al-Haram resort.

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It is a reconstruction.
Everything is a reconstruction.

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They are enacting a big theatre play.

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It is a reconstruction of the story of
Ibrahim, Abraham, Ibrahim --

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whom God ordered to send his wife, Hagar,
and their son Ismail into the wilderness.

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They arrive at this spot, there, in Mecca.

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She understands very well
that they will not survive,

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looks for water,

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stands on the hilltop and puts down her baby,

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because she lacks the force to carry it,

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and walks to the other hilltop.

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She arrives at a ravine she needs to bridge

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in order to reach the hilltop.

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So she climbs down,

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and upon arrival at the bottom of the ravine,

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she panics, because she can't see the baby,

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so she runs to the other side, climbs up,

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looks, sees baby Ismail, nothing happened, thank God --

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looks around, sees nothing, runs back,

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through the ravine again, panic again,
running to baby Ismail.

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She does this seven times.

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After seven times, she is about to give up,

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when she finds God hasn't forgotten her.

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An angel descends from heaven

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and kicks a hole in the ground
with the tip of his wing.

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From that hole, pop!
water, the Zamzam Well.

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The part with the ravine

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is now indicated with green lights.

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When pilgrims pass a green lamp,

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they are supposed to run to the next ravine.

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It's a reconstruction.

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The Zamzam Well still flows.

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And what did the Saudi do?
Very smart:

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they connected the source to an intricate system

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of pumps, tubes, and kettles,
so that anywhere in the enormous Masjid al-Haram resort

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you can drink Zamzam water, all day long.
Delicious!

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We go straight on.

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We have ten days left to go to
the Masjid al-Haram, as often as possible.

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You do it at night.

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It's too hot in daytime. It's 40° Celsius.

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You rest during the day.
We go at night.

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We use the special shuttle buses

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taking us to the Masjid.

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You perform a Tawaaf, two, three, four, vijf,

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but most of all: you pray as much as possible.

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Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.

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Not on your knees, Dear Lord Jesus,

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no, the Salat, physical exercise.

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Because one prayer in the Masjid al-Haram,
counts for a thousand.

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In the four weeks that I was in Saudi Arabia,

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I prayed 247 times, of which 120 times
in the Masjid al-Haram.

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Times thousand.

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Not bad, for an assimilated agnostic migrant son, isn't it?

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After ten days we go to the plain of Arafat.

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Number four.

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We officially become Hajji.

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Mohamed gave his last sermon here,

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and all pilgrims present in Saudi Arabia

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gather on that plain.

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5.5 million people.

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We spend the night in tents,

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men and women separated,

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and it's hot, cramped,

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and there's an exceptional amount of mosquitoes.

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Which you are not allowed to kill.

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You are not allowed to complain.

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The next day, there's a prayer service

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lasting 5.5 hours.

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God is honoured, praised,

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hymns are sung,

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and at the end of the prayer,
you congratulate each other:

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Masha Allah, you became Hajji.

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But we are only half way through.

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We move to number 5, Mozdalefah.

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We collect pebbles

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for what I think is the most spectacular part:

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the stoning of the devil.

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You collect 49 pebbles, each symbolizing a sin.

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A bad quality.
You will cast them off.

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The stones cannot be smaller than a chickpea

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nor bigger than a hazelnut.

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I had collected 49 pebbles and was ready, at point 5,

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to walk with my father to point 6, Mina,

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where 3 giant pillars symbolize the devil.

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We were waiting for --

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Okay. The Saudi authorities, for some reason,

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had decided that all 140,000 Turkish Hajji
present at the time,

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had to gather in an area that was hedged

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with fences, the standard kind

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that you see here as well.
Heras-fences, I think.

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This was -- this is about 4 meter.

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Here was a gate that was closed.

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We stood in front of that gate.

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Along the area there was a road.

00:13:29.482 --> 00:13:32.550
On that road there were buses
full of pilgrims from other countries.

00:13:32.550 --> 00:13:34.998
The road curved to the right,

00:13:34.998 --> 00:13:36.448
so we waited to cross the road.

00:13:36.448 --> 00:13:41.264
But it took a long time. Longer. And longer.

00:13:41.264 --> 00:13:46.381
It was crowded. More crowded. Even more crowded.

00:13:46.381 --> 00:13:49.431
A few hours earlier, we had run out of water.

00:13:49.431 --> 00:13:51.565
But hey, this is a test. I am zen.

00:13:51.565 --> 00:13:52.998
I am calm. I will not be upset.

00:13:52.998 --> 00:13:54.348
I lower my breath.

00:13:54.348 --> 00:13:55.632
As I lower my breath, my father says,

00:13:55.632 --> 00:13:58.464
"I really don't feel like doing this, man.

00:13:58.464 --> 00:14:00.499
I'm not going to stand here, no way.

00:14:00.499 --> 00:14:01.365
This will bow wrong."

00:14:01.365 --> 00:14:03.483
"Hey, dad, come on! We've come this far.

00:14:03.483 --> 00:14:04.733
Let's stone the devil together."

00:14:04.733 --> 00:14:06.582
"No, no, no way, no way.

00:14:06.582 --> 00:14:08.234
Got your phone?" "Yes, yes."

00:14:08.234 --> 00:14:09.649
"I will stand on a quiet spot.

00:14:09.649 --> 00:14:12.650
As soon as you cross that gate,
call me and we move on.

00:14:12.650 --> 00:14:13.565
"Fine, okay."

00:14:13.565 --> 00:14:17.232
He leaves the crowd
and at that moment someone faints.

00:14:17.232 --> 00:14:20.600
A lady. The lady had a tougher time,
they were covered.

00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:24.699
Someone faints over there, and there, and there.

00:14:24.699 --> 00:14:25.849
Someone yells in the back:

00:14:25.849 --> 00:14:29.081
for heaven's sake, make room, she is dying.

00:14:29.081 --> 00:14:32.365
Which caused the Hajji standing there

00:14:32.365 --> 00:14:36.449
to yell that the damned fucking arabs
needed to open the fucking gate

00:14:36.449 --> 00:14:39.549
because he wanted value for his 3,500 euro.

00:14:39.549 --> 00:14:43.332
Hajji, sabr, sabr, what are you doing, think, think!

00:14:43.332 --> 00:14:46.665
A Hajji responds that the son-of-such-and-such-woman needs to shut up

00:14:46.665 --> 00:14:49.082
or else he'll smack the teeth out of his mouth.

00:14:49.082 --> 00:14:51.415
As of that moment, things get hazy.

00:14:51.415 --> 00:14:54.265
I know that suddenly I didn't feel the ground under my feet

00:14:54.265 --> 00:14:56.349
and before my mind's eye I saw images

00:14:56.349 --> 00:15:01.650
of '97, '98, 2000, 2001, 2004, 2006, 2008,

00:15:01.650 --> 00:15:04.115
of Hajji with distorted limbs and bloody Ihrams,

00:15:04.115 --> 00:15:05.765
and okay, I know I am a skinny guy,

00:15:05.765 --> 00:15:08.299
but I have been in a mosh pit at a concert

00:15:08.299 --> 00:15:09.599
so I know, mmmm!

00:15:09.599 --> 00:15:12.864
I was surrounded by Turkish aunties, this high.

00:15:12.864 --> 00:15:14.401
I do not know what happened to these women.

00:15:14.401 --> 00:15:16.665
I just know that suddenly
I was at the other side of the gate

00:15:16.665 --> 00:15:18.265
with stuff sticking to my legs.

00:15:18.265 --> 00:15:20.449
Did I stand on someone? Did I fall? No idea.

00:15:20.449 --> 00:15:22.448
I can only walk, so that I get the fuck out ...

00:15:22.448 --> 00:15:23.949
No, I didn't think fuck, I didn't, really not.

00:15:23.949 --> 00:15:25.681
Run, run, run.
I ran like hell.

00:15:25.681 --> 00:15:31.798
Because behind me on the road
139,998 Turkish Hajji came up.

00:15:31.798 --> 00:15:34.315
So I ran, I took my phone

00:15:34.315 --> 00:15:36.648
and I swear, as if the devil had it's way,

00:15:36.648 --> 00:15:39.165
battery empty.

00:15:39.165 --> 00:15:42.130
I lose everyone, my father,

00:15:42.130 --> 00:15:43.414
the other Dutch Hajji,

00:15:43.414 --> 00:15:46.131
and I walk alone for hours, 7 kilometer,

00:15:46.131 --> 00:15:48.982
lost, along dusty roads,
looking for water.

00:15:48.982 --> 00:15:51.816
I find a fountain with Zamzam water, finally,

00:15:51.816 --> 00:15:53.349
I get there and think,

00:15:53.349 --> 00:15:56.866
"I've been having inappropriate thoughts.

00:15:56.866 --> 00:15:58.098
I will stone the devil.

00:15:58.098 --> 00:16:00.799
I will cast off my bad qualities --

00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:03.515
I have more than I can recount now,
but I have little time left --

00:16:03.515 --> 00:16:04.983
I think, concentrate, Sadettin,

00:16:04.983 --> 00:16:06.816
it is still possible.

00:16:06.816 --> 00:16:09.399
I get a poach with the 49 stones.

00:16:09.399 --> 00:16:11.832
I empty it in my hand.

00:16:11.832 --> 00:16:17.015
From now on, never, really never --

00:16:17.015 --> 00:16:19.931
and then all hell breaks loose around me.

00:16:19.931 --> 00:16:22.515
To my left are 3 Iranian Hajji.

00:16:22.515 --> 00:16:24.533
Long beards, turban.

00:16:24.533 --> 00:16:26.665
I see slippers fly through the air.

00:16:26.665 --> 00:16:28.299
A crutch flies by

00:16:28.299 --> 00:16:29.665
and luckily, just before that,

00:16:29.665 --> 00:16:32.581
I put on my face mask.

00:16:32.581 --> 00:16:34.832
Because I start laughing out loud.

00:16:34.832 --> 00:16:38.814
I walk on to the hotel.

00:16:38.814 --> 00:16:40.681
Before I enter the hotel,

00:16:40.681 --> 00:16:42.132
I enter a store.

00:16:42.132 --> 00:16:44.233
I buy three mars bars, three snicker bars,

00:16:44.233 --> 00:16:48.381
one bottle of Mecca cola, a pack of cigarettes.

00:16:48.381 --> 00:16:49.615
I sit down in the lobby of the hotel,

00:16:49.615 --> 00:16:51.481
I eat the snickers, the marses,

00:16:51.481 --> 00:16:52.982
I drink the entire bottle of Mecca cola in one gulp,

00:16:52.982 --> 00:16:56.645
I light a cigarette and someone taps on my shoulder.

00:16:56.891 --> 00:17:02.849
And? How did it go, my boy?

00:17:02.849 --> 00:17:07.199
Was my father. All quiet and peace.

00:17:07.199 --> 00:17:09.449
The stoning of the Devil is the start
of the Feast of the Sacrifice.

00:17:09.449 --> 00:17:11.464
I say "Sacrifice". Some say "Slaughter".

00:17:11.464 --> 00:17:12.798
I prefer "Feast of the Sacrifice".

00:17:12.798 --> 00:17:15.214
It commemorates this scene:

00:17:15.214 --> 00:17:18.233
the story of Abraham who is again put to the test.

00:17:18.233 --> 00:17:20.631
God orders him to sacrifice his son.

00:17:20.631 --> 00:17:23.966
In the Bible it's Isaac, in the Quran it's Ismail.

00:17:23.966 --> 00:17:25.798
Let's say it's Ismail.

00:17:25.798 --> 00:17:28.964
But at the moment suprême, this moment, that is,

00:17:28.964 --> 00:17:31.115
an angel descends from heaven.

00:17:31.115 --> 00:17:33.116
It points out this ram to Abraham,

00:17:33.116 --> 00:17:35.132
in the lower right corner,

00:17:35.132 --> 00:17:37.449
with its horn entangled in the bush.

00:17:37.449 --> 00:17:39.849
The Feast of the Sacrifice, you might say

00:17:39.849 --> 00:17:42.015
commemorates the fact that we don't slaughter

00:17:42.015 --> 00:17:45.081
our children but our animals unstunned.

00:17:45.081 --> 00:17:48.599
I offered a sheep too.

00:17:48.599 --> 00:17:51.248
Really. I kept the ticket.

00:17:51.248 --> 00:17:54.881
Where is it? Here.
Can you see it?

00:17:54.881 --> 00:17:57.765
Sharp eyes.
It says 410, doesn't it?

00:17:57.765 --> 00:18:02.266
Take it.
It says 410 rial, doesn't it?

00:18:02.266 --> 00:18:05.266
Saudi currency. Divide by 5.
82 euro.

00:18:05.266 --> 00:18:08.131
82 euro to buy a sheep, have it slaughtered,

00:18:08.131 --> 00:18:10.581
chopped up, fly across the world,

00:18:10.581 --> 00:18:12.382
distributed among the poor and needy.

00:18:12.382 --> 00:18:15.366
I haven't seen the sheep.

00:18:15.366 --> 00:18:18.381
Impossible. 5.5 million people
who all want to be there.

00:18:18.381 --> 00:18:20.115
Slaughterhouses only have limited capacity.

00:18:20.115 --> 00:18:21.699
That ticket is the only proof of the sheep

00:18:21.699 --> 00:18:26.914
which is why I want it back.

00:18:26.914 --> 00:18:29.448
The Feast of the Sacrifice also means
you may shave off your hair

00:18:29.448 --> 00:18:32.181
as a sign of literal transformation.

00:18:32.181 --> 00:18:34.265
You leave part of yourself behind

00:18:34.265 --> 00:18:36.600
in this sacred place.

00:18:36.600 --> 00:18:38.631
Only the men shave.

00:18:38.631 --> 00:18:42.214
5.5 million people, 60% males,
80% of whom go bald.

00:18:42.214 --> 00:18:45.015
That means 2.4 million men.

00:18:45.015 --> 00:18:47.650
It happens everywhere, this going bald.

00:18:47.650 --> 00:18:49.582
As a result the streets of Mecca

00:18:49.582 --> 00:18:53.282
are covered in men's hair for three days.

00:18:53.282 --> 00:18:55.648
So you need to clean your slippers

00:18:55.648 --> 00:18:58.949
before you enter your hotel room.

00:18:58.949 --> 00:19:05.328
This is him, Satan.

00:19:06.682 --> 00:19:09.915
Not really, it's a symbol.

00:19:09.915 --> 00:19:13.181
You throw stones at it,
for three days.

00:19:13.181 --> 00:19:15.580
Then we pay a last visit to the Masjid al-Haram.

00:19:15.580 --> 00:19:17.233
We perform a farewell Tawaaf.

00:19:17.233 --> 00:19:19.914
This is the last thing we do in Mecca.

00:19:19.914 --> 00:19:23.132
We go on to Medina

00:19:23.132 --> 00:19:26.699
to visit the mosque and the grave of the prophet,

00:19:26.699 --> 00:19:29.015
the Masjid an-Nabawi, the prophet's mosque,

00:19:29.015 --> 00:19:32.264
which is built around Mohammed's grave.

00:19:32.264 --> 00:19:33.864
We salute the grave.

00:19:33.864 --> 00:19:37.699
Salute. Remember, no praying at the grave,
that is not allowed.

00:19:37.699 --> 00:19:39.964
It is sherk, idolatry.

00:19:39.964 --> 00:19:43.565
No, Muhammad was a simple man, we salute.

00:19:43.565 --> 00:19:46.582
Then you buy 7 kilos of dates,

00:19:46.582 --> 00:19:49.548
you fill a jerry can with 10 liter of Zamzam water,

00:19:49.548 --> 00:19:52.431
you buy an alarm indicating the hours of prayer

00:19:52.431 --> 00:19:55.733
and having the call to prayer as an alarm tone.

00:19:55.733 --> 00:19:57.249
You buy it for your mother.

00:19:57.249 --> 00:20:00.965
You get onto the plane in Medina,
stop over at Istanbul.

00:20:00.965 --> 00:20:03.465
You land at Schiphol airport.

00:20:03.465 --> 00:20:06.715
There are thousands of happy Turks.

00:20:06.715 --> 00:20:08.164
There are flowers.

00:20:08.164 --> 00:20:10.715
There is applause. Masha Allah.

00:20:10.715 --> 00:20:13.764
You performed the Hajj.

00:20:13.764 --> 00:20:16.931
(Applause)