0:00:00.650,0:00:03.659 Tonight, a remarkable man wants to talk 0:00:03.659,0:00:06.930 to you about your life. We cannot change 0:00:06.930,0:00:09.030 the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. 0:00:09.030,0:00:11.730 A college professor with a message so 0:00:11.730,0:00:13.950 challenging and nourishing, 10 million 0:00:13.950,0:00:15.750 people have made the pilgrimage to hear 0:00:15.750,0:00:17.970 what he has to say. The critics are your 0:00:17.970,0:00:19.560 ones telling you they still love you and care. 0:00:19.560,0:00:22.289 All across the nation, people are 0:00:22.289,0:00:24.240 saying Randy Pausch taught them to make 0:00:24.240,0:00:27.150 braver choices. I realized what an idiot 0:00:27.150,0:00:30.410 I was. Change that job, take that trip, 0:00:30.410,0:00:33.540 achieve childhood dreams, no matter the 0:00:33.540,0:00:35.000 obstacle. 0:00:35.000,0:00:37.890 Randy's video inspired me. 0:00:37.890,0:00:40.980 He reached me, in Kent, Ohio. So, who is the man 0:00:40.980,0:00:43.079 giving what his University called "The 0:00:43.079,0:00:47.730 Last Lecture?" The title has a twist. 47 0:00:47.730,0:00:50.309 year-old Randy Pausch has fatal cancer, 0:00:50.309,0:00:53.280 and it has spread. The doctors told me 3 0:00:53.280,0:00:55.530 to 6 months of good health left, that was 0:00:55.530,0:00:57.539 a month ago, so you can do the math. A 0:00:57.539,0:01:00.660 grim calculation, except this man does 0:01:00.660,0:01:02.390 not do grim. 0:01:02.390,0:01:05.000 I'm still trying to do one pushup in 0:01:05.000,0:01:08.450 honor of your lecture. I don't know how 0:01:08.450,0:01:11.960 to not have fun, right? I'm dying and I'm 0:01:11.960,0:01:13.610 having fun. Tonight, 0:01:13.610,0:01:15.200 one of the most extraordinary people 0:01:15.200,0:01:17.600 we have ever met challenges you to see 0:01:17.600,0:01:20.330 your life in a new way. You say there is no 0:01:20.330,0:01:22.909 evidence and you can't see, but can you 0:01:22.909,0:01:26.960 see love, can you see hope? A father, a husband, a 0:01:26.960,0:01:32.020 teacher, ready to take you on the journey of your life. 0:01:35.330,0:01:39.590 Here now, Diane Sawyer. Good evening, and 0:01:39.590,0:01:41.300 welcome to what we think is a truly 0:01:41.300,0:01:44.150 special prime time. There is a famous 0:01:44.150,0:01:46.000 story in the household of Randy Pausch, 0:01:46.000,0:01:49.070 PhD, that his mother jokingly once said, 0:01:49.070,0:01:51.050 "My son's a doctor, just not the kind who 0:01:51.050,0:01:53.810 helps people." We suspect you'll have a 0:01:53.810,0:01:55.640 different view after you spend time with 0:01:55.640,0:01:58.340 him tonight. This man, who was told he had 0:01:58.340,0:01:59.660 six months to live and has turned 0:01:59.660,0:02:01.730 everyday since into a kind of 0:02:01.730,0:02:04.910 celebration. He has written a book called 0:02:04.910,0:02:07.250 "The Last Lecture," and that's how we first 0:02:07.250,0:02:09.560 heard of him. A lecture that found its 0:02:09.560,0:02:11.330 way onto the internet entirely by 0:02:11.330,0:02:13.550 accident. It was posted for a handful of 0:02:13.550,0:02:15.170 people who couldn't be there the day he 0:02:15.170,0:02:18.590 spoke. What happened next was a wonder 0:02:18.590,0:02:21.460 all its own. 0:02:24.390,0:02:26.710 Who would have believed that out there 0:02:26.710,0:02:28.630 in the vast clamor of the internet, 0:02:28.630,0:02:32.290 those endless videos, all that noise, one 0:02:32.290,0:02:34.690 earnest looking professor standing at a 0:02:34.690,0:02:37.420 podium could make 10 million people so 0:02:37.420,0:02:40.180 far stop and listen? Wait long enough and 0:02:40.180,0:02:42.130 people will surprise and impress you. 0:02:42.130,0:02:44.440 The last lecture, an annual tradition at 0:02:44.440,0:02:45.850 Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, 0:02:45.850,0:02:48.730 a speech on personal philosophy by a 0:02:48.730,0:02:51.510 beloved professor like Randy Pausch, 0:02:51.510,0:02:53.860 famous for making his students believe 0:02:53.860,0:02:56.050 in themselves no matter the obstacles in 0:02:56.050,0:02:58.720 their way. The brick walls are there for 0:02:58.720,0:02:59.230 a reason, alright? 0:02:59.230,0:03:01.060 The brick walls are not there 0:03:01.060,0:03:02.920 to keep us out. The brick walls are there 0:03:02.920,0:03:06.430 to give us a chance to show how badly we 0:03:06.430,0:03:08.140 want something, because the brick walls 0:03:08.140,0:03:09.910 are there to stop the people who don't 0:03:09.910,0:03:11.830 want it badly enough. They're there to 0:03:11.830,0:03:16.150 stop the other people. So, your goals are 0:03:16.150,0:03:18.340 possible if you get tough with yourself 0:03:18.340,0:03:20.980 and face difficult truths. Professor 0:03:20.980,0:03:22.810 Pausch was a scrawny kid in junior league 0:03:22.810,0:03:24.550 football under a tough coach named Jim 0:03:24.550,0:03:26.410 Graham. There was one practice where he 0:03:26.410,0:03:28.239 just rode me all practice, just, "you're 0:03:28.239,0:03:29.500 doing this wrong, you're doing this wrong, 0:03:29.500,0:03:30.790 go back and do it again, you owe me, 0:03:30.790,0:03:32.200 you're doing push-ups after practice." And, 0:03:32.200,0:03:33.970 when it was all over, one of the other 0:03:33.970,0:03:35.170 assistant coaches came over and said, 0:03:35.170,0:03:37.300 "Yeah Coach Graham rode you pretty hard 0:03:37.300,0:03:39.489 didn't he?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "That's a 0:03:39.489,0:03:42.519 good thing." He said, "When you're screwing up 0:03:42.519,0:03:45.190 and nobody's saying anything to you anymore, 0:03:45.190,0:03:48.910 that means they gave up." That's a 0:03:48.910,0:03:50.800 lesson that stuck with me my whole life, 0:03:50.800,0:03:52.930 is that when you see 0:03:52.930,0:03:54.250 yourself doing something badly and 0:03:54.250,0:03:55.630 nobody's bothering to tell you anymore, 0:03:55.630,0:03:58.150 that's a very bad place to be. Your 0:03:58.150,0:03:59.709 critics are your ones telling you they 0:03:59.709,0:04:02.050 still love you and care. For 90 minutes, 0:04:02.050,0:04:04.390 he gives lessons about living. We cannot 0:04:04.390,0:04:06.459 change the cards we are dealt, just how 0:04:06.459,0:04:09.310 we play the hand. And, about facing death. 0:04:09.310,0:04:11.470 In case there's anybody who wandered in 0:04:11.470,0:04:13.390 and doesn't know the back story, my dad 0:04:13.390,0:04:14.500 always taught me when there's 0:04:14.500,0:04:16.029 an elephant in the room, introduce them. 0:04:16.029,0:04:18.250 At the lecture, some of his friends know, 0:04:18.250,0:04:20.380 but others are just learning that he was 0:04:20.380,0:04:22.930 diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and it 0:04:22.930,0:04:25.210 has spread. If you look at my cat scans, 0:04:25.210,0:04:25.950 there are 0:04:25.950,0:04:28.230 approximately 10 tumors in my liver, and the 0:04:28.230,0:04:30.030 doctors told me 3 to 6 months of good 0:04:30.030,0:04:32.580 health left. That was a month ago, so you 0:04:32.580,0:04:34.410 can do the math. If I don't seem as 0:04:34.410,0:04:37.560 depressed or morose as I should be, sorry 0:04:37.560,0:04:42.150 to disappoint you. And, I assure you I am 0:04:42.150,0:04:44.280 NOT in denial, and the other thing is I'm 0:04:44.280,0:04:47.780 in better shape than most of you. 0:04:58.319,0:05:01.030 So, anybody who wants to cry or pity me 0:05:01.030,0:05:02.830 can come down and do a few of those, and 0:05:02.830,0:05:06.220 then you may pity me. So, don't try to 0:05:06.220,0:05:08.830 tell Randy Pausch not to love the life 0:05:08.830,0:05:10.270 he has left. 0:05:10.270,0:05:13.150 So, my next piece of advice is you just 0:05:13.150,0:05:15.190 have to decide if you're a Tigger or 0:05:15.190,0:05:18.340 you're an Eeyore. I think I'm clear where I 0:05:18.340,0:05:19.960 stand on the great Tigger-Eeyore debate. 0:05:19.960,0:05:23.979 One month after the lecture, 0:05:23.979,0:05:27.190 October 2007, we decide to go to 0:05:27.190,0:05:29.110 Pittsburgh for an interview with Doctor 0:05:29.110,0:05:31.210 Pausch. We're in the library of his 0:05:31.210,0:05:33.759 beloved Carnegie Mellon, where ostensibly, 0:05:33.759,0:05:35.889 he was a teacher of computer science, 0:05:35.889,0:05:38.710 virtual reality, creating a whole program 0:05:38.710,0:05:41.319 for the school with Professor Don Marinelli. 0:05:41.319,0:05:43.780 But, long before his illness, Professor 0:05:43.780,0:05:45.909 Pausch says he thought the students 0:05:45.909,0:05:48.130 needed something more. How do you behave 0:05:48.130,0:05:50.080 with integrity? How do you behave in a 0:05:50.080,0:05:52.000 way that other people will respect you 0:05:52.000,0:05:54.069 and want to keep working with you? If I 0:05:54.069,0:05:56.319 only had three words of advice, they 0:05:56.319,0:05:59.379 would be 'tell the truth.' If I got three 0:05:59.379,0:06:02.830 more words, I'd add 'all the time.' I'll 0:06:02.830,0:06:03.940 tell you right now if there's anything 0:06:03.940,0:06:07.930 I've learned in my career, a lot of 0:06:07.930,0:06:10.270 people don't want the truth. A lot of 0:06:10.270,0:06:11.949 people just want to be patted and 0:06:11.949,0:06:13.840 stroked and told how wonderful they are. 0:06:13.840,0:06:17.169 So, in effect, he dared his students to 0:06:17.169,0:06:19.690 love the truth about themselves. They 0:06:19.690,0:06:21.639 even handed each other report cards on 0:06:21.639,0:06:23.710 character issues like teamwork. 0:06:23.710,0:06:26.800 Next up, lessons about fearlessness. And 0:06:26.800,0:06:28.690 the kids said, "Well, what content do we make?" 0:06:28.690,0:06:30.940 I said, "Hell, I don't know. You make 0:06:30.940,0:06:32.669 whatever you want. Two rules: 0:06:32.669,0:06:37.050 no shooting violence and no pornography." 0:06:37.050,0:06:39.580 You'd be amazed how many 19 year old 0:06:39.580,0:06:41.740 boys are completely out of ideas when 0:06:41.740,0:06:47.680 you take those off the table. We went to him 0:06:47.680,0:06:49.690 and said, "We have a couple of ideas. This 0:06:49.690,0:06:51.580 idea here is very safe; this idea here 0:06:51.580,0:06:53.980 with these cell phones is very risky." 0:06:53.980,0:06:56.320 He said, "Go for the risk. It's better to fail 0:06:56.320,0:06:59.710 spectacularly than to pass along 0:06:59.710,0:07:01.810 and do something which 0:07:01.810,0:07:04.990 is mediocre." Student Phil Light, who says 0:07:04.990,0:07:07.000 Professor Pausch even created an award 0:07:07.000,0:07:09.970 for the most glorious failure. What's the 0:07:09.970,0:07:10.780 old saying? 'You can always tell the 0:07:10.780,0:07:12.160 pioneers by the arrows in their backs.' 0:07:12.160,0:07:15.100 Through the years, some of Randy Pausch's 0:07:15.100,0:07:20.440 students balked. Most of them soared. Such 0:07:20.440,0:07:22.480 an awesome, awesome, once-in-a-lifetime 0:07:22.480,0:07:24.130 kind of teacher. It became this 0:07:24.130,0:07:26.710 underground thing. I'd walk into a class 0:07:26.710,0:07:29.050 with 50 students in it, and there 0:07:29.050,0:07:33.340 were 95 people in the room. And people's 0:07:33.340,0:07:36.700 roommates and friends and parents. I've 0:07:36.700,0:07:38.440 never had parents come to class before. 0:07:38.440,0:07:41.140 It was like something I'd never seen 0:07:41.140,0:07:41.800 before. 0:07:41.800,0:07:44.230 it was unbelievable. Jared Cohen is 0:07:44.230,0:07:46.780 president of Carnegie Mellon. Here at 0:07:46.780,0:07:48.370 Carnagie Mellon, we don't have big-time 0:07:48.370,0:07:52.390 sports, but when I walked in the room, I 0:07:52.390,0:07:54.790 felt like I had walked into a pep rally 0:07:54.790,0:07:58.300 for a major football game. So, it was a 0:07:58.300,0:08:01.270 thrilling time for Randy Pausch, and then 0:08:01.270,0:08:03.790 one day, he felt tired. Thought maybe he 0:08:03.790,0:08:06.070 had a kind of flu. A little weak, a little 0:08:06.070,0:08:08.320 bit bloated feeling. I eventually got 0:08:08.320,0:08:11.620 yellow skin jaundice and itching and we 0:08:11.620,0:08:14.380 had originally thought I had hepatitis. 0:08:14.380,0:08:18.160 An ultrasound, a cat-scan, a life changed 0:08:18.160,0:08:20.740 in a sentence. And he said, "Randy, there's 0:08:20.740,0:08:25.390 a mass on your pancreas. And he said, 0:08:25.390,0:08:27.790 "And it's not fair." Don't think it's 0:08:27.790,0:08:30.340 unfair. We all stand on the dartboard, 0:08:30.340,0:08:32.440 and you know, a very small percentage of 0:08:32.440,0:08:33.669 us are going to catch the dart labeled 0:08:33.669,0:08:37.299 'pancreatic cancer,' and I was 0:08:37.299,0:08:41.080 unlucky, but it wasn't unfair. Pancreatic 0:08:41.080,0:08:42.909 cancer is pretty much the most fatal 0:08:42.909,0:08:46.090 cancer of all. It is ruthless. It is 0:08:46.090,0:08:46.540 brutal. 0:08:46.540,0:08:50.050 Very few people beat it, and there are a lot of 0:08:50.050,0:08:51.670 reasons for that. It's an internal organ 0:08:51.670,0:08:53.050 that's sort of wrapped in other stuff. 0:08:53.050,0:08:55.630 Only 15 to 20 percent of pancreatic 0:08:55.630,0:08:57.880 cancer patients have any early symptoms. 0:08:57.880,0:09:00.610 I was lucky in that my tumor pressed on 0:09:00.610,0:09:02.170 the bile duct. You don't get enough bile 0:09:02.170,0:09:03.670 into your system, you can't digest your 0:09:03.670,0:09:05.230 food as well, and not to be crass about 0:09:05.230,0:09:07.570 this, but the tell-tale sign is that your 0:09:07.570,0:09:10.150 stools in the toilet bowl start to float 0:09:10.150,0:09:12.730 and become less dense, and what this 0:09:12.730,0:09:16.390 means is that you're not digesting fats, 0:09:16.390,0:09:18.400 because you're not getting the bile into 0:09:18.400,0:09:20.470 your system. There was massive surgery to 0:09:20.470,0:09:22.420 remove a third of his pancreas, parts of 0:09:22.420,0:09:24.340 his stomach, a crushing blast of 0:09:24.340,0:09:27.340 chemotherapy and radiation. Crushing for 0:09:27.340,0:09:29.590 body, not spirit. I remember once my doctor 0:09:29.590,0:09:31.330 asked me, "So are you feeling depressed?" 0:09:31.330,0:09:34.210 I said, "Well, compared to an average 0:09:34.210,0:09:36.640 46 year old, probably, but compared to a 0:09:36.640,0:09:38.470 guy who just had his insides carved out, 0:09:38.470,0:09:40.300 who's in tremendous physical pain and is 0:09:40.300,0:09:42.400 being told that, you know, he has a way 0:09:42.400,0:09:44.140 less than 50/50 chance of living to five 0:09:44.140,0:09:45.850 years, I think I feel pretty good." And so, 0:09:45.850,0:09:46.870 he just turned to the intern and said, "Write 0:09:46.870,0:09:49.510 down 'not depressed.'" But, eight months 0:09:49.510,0:09:51.820 after the surgery, the cancer had come 0:09:51.820,0:09:55.090 back. A dedicated Tigger had to reach 0:09:55.090,0:09:57.880 inside himself again. I've never found 0:09:57.880,0:10:00.390 anger to make a situation better, and 0:10:00.390,0:10:03.160 right now, I've got a finite amount of 0:10:03.160,0:10:06.340 time, and I can spend that time angry or 0:10:06.340,0:10:07.870 I can spend that time doing something 0:10:07.870,0:10:09.490 productive and worthwhile and having fun. 0:10:09.490,0:10:12.600 I don't know how to not have fun. 0:10:12.600,0:10:16.439 I'm dying and I'm having fun. He tells me 0:10:16.439,0:10:18.809 he's trying an experimental vaccine and 0:10:18.809,0:10:21.029 so far, chemotherapy has slowed the 0:10:21.029,0:10:22.860 progress of the disease. 0:10:22.860,0:10:24.569 That typically holds on for a couple of 0:10:24.569,0:10:26.549 months, so I may have just doubled my 0:10:26.549,0:10:29.040 lifespan, and you know, well you try doing 0:10:29.040,0:10:31.559 that. He told me one of his favorite 0:10:31.559,0:10:34.110 philosophical sources is that famous 0:10:34.110,0:10:35.850 newspaper editor's letter, the one 0:10:35.850,0:10:37.889 assuring the little girl Virginia there 0:10:37.889,0:10:39.509 is a Santa Claus. 0:10:39.509,0:10:41.819 The editor's letter about, your little 0:10:41.819,0:10:43.410 cynical friends live in a cynical age 0:10:43.410,0:10:45.119 You say there is no evidence and you 0:10:45.119,0:10:48.540 can't see, but can you see love? Can you 0:10:48.540,0:10:50.819 see hope? These are the most important 0:10:50.819,0:10:52.350 things and you can't see them or touch 0:10:52.350,0:10:54.569 them. Did you ever see fairies dancing on 0:10:54.569,0:10:56.249 the lawn? Of course not, but that's no 0:10:56.249,0:10:58.019 proof they're not there. That's right. 0:10:58.019,0:10:59.850 There's no scientist in the world that can tell 0:10:59.850,0:11:01.019 you there aren't fairies on the lawn. 0:11:01.019,0:11:02.429 Back at the lecture, sitting in the 0:11:02.429,0:11:04.739 audience, his wife, mother of their three 0:11:04.739,0:11:07.649 children, the children he worries he will 0:11:07.649,0:11:09.839 not be around to protect. We're not going 0:11:09.839,0:11:11.069 to talk about my wife, we're not going to talk about my 0:11:11.069,0:11:12.959 kids, because I'm good but I'm not good 0:11:12.959,0:11:13.949 enough to talk about that without 0:11:13.949,0:11:15.869 tearing up. There is a sadness that 0:11:15.869,0:11:19.069 comes when I think about my kids, and 0:11:19.069,0:11:22.139 "it's not so much a 'I won't get the 0:11:22.139,0:11:23.549 experience of being a dad.' I mean that's 0:11:23.549,0:11:25.860 sad, but the really strong emotions for 0:11:25.860,0:11:31.760 me are 'they won't have me for them.' 0:11:34.710,0:11:36.600 And that's where it's okay for me to say, 0:11:36.600,0:11:38.910 "that's not fair." A metaphor I've used is 0:11:38.910,0:11:40.740 somebody's going to push my family off a 0:11:40.740,0:11:44.190 cliff pretty soon and I won't be there 0:11:44.190,0:11:46.430 to catch them, and that breaks my heart. 0:11:46.430,0:11:51.660 But, I have some time to sew some nets, to 0:11:51.660,0:11:54.300 cushion the fall, and that seems like the 0:11:54.300,0:11:55.800 best and highest use of my time. So, I can 0:11:55.800,0:11:57.690 curl up in a ball and cry, or I can get 0:11:57.690,0:12:00.320 to work on the nets. 0:12:01.230,0:12:04.040 Time now for our first interview to end. 0:12:04.040,0:12:07.470 But, before I can go, the professor stops 0:12:07.470,0:12:10.830 me to critique what I've done. There's 0:12:10.830,0:12:12.450 one question you didn't ask me. Which one? 0:12:12.450,0:12:14.190 About people keep asking about making a 0:12:14.190,0:12:15.060 movie out of my life. 0:12:15.060,0:12:18.030 Wait, you're doing your part and my part. 0:12:18.030,0:12:21.540 This is the best interview I've ever had. Okay yes, a movie... 0:12:21.540,0:12:24.360 Can't be done. No Hollywood actress 0:12:24.360,0:12:26.170 is pretty enough to play my wife. 0:12:26.170,0:12:30.300 When we return, you'll meet her. 0:12:34.460,0:12:36.920 This looks like the face of a beautiful 0:12:36.920,0:12:39.260 woman, but in fact, she was once one of 0:12:39.260,0:12:41.810 Randy Pausch's most formidable brick 0:12:41.810,0:12:45.220 walls. Some brick walls are made of flesh. 0:12:45.220,0:12:48.020 Jai Glasgow was a literature graduate 0:12:48.020,0:12:49.700 student who met Randy Pausch at a 0:12:49.700,0:12:52.190 lecture. She checked his website, not 0:12:52.190,0:12:54.530 promising for her. She thought maybe he 0:12:54.530,0:12:56.930 was gay. You thought he was gay. Well, he 0:12:56.930,0:12:59.120 was 38 years old, he had never been 0:12:59.120,0:13:01.220 married. The pictures on the site 0:13:01.220,0:13:03.740 rejoiced over gingerbread houses and 0:13:03.740,0:13:06.230 stuffed animals, like the kind you win at 0:13:06.230,0:13:09.850 the fair. Stuffed animals. Stuffed animals? 0:13:09.850,0:13:13.730 Alright, winning stuffed animals. 0:13:13.730,0:13:15.560 He says it started when he was a little kid. 0:13:15.560,0:13:17.780 This may seem mundane to you, but when 0:13:17.780,0:13:19.160 you're a little kid you see the big buff 0:13:19.160,0:13:20.690 guys walking around in the amusement park 0:13:20.690,0:13:21.710 and they got all these big stuffed 0:13:21.710,0:13:24.680 animals, right? So he still likes the idea 0:13:24.680,0:13:27.680 that big muscles and stuffed animals go 0:13:27.680,0:13:30.620 together. When he began to date Jai, she 0:13:30.620,0:13:32.930 says it was one thing to love a man who 0:13:32.930,0:13:35.480 tells the truth, another to live with it. 0:13:35.480,0:13:38.990 He's challenging, he's forthright, quick 0:13:38.990,0:13:42.590 to analyze a situation, feel like he can 0:13:42.590,0:13:46.550 see the truth, and to be able to relay 0:13:46.550,0:13:50.020 that truth to you. Whether or not it's 0:13:50.020,0:13:52.190 socially appropriate for him to do that 0:13:52.190,0:13:53.870 is another thing. I was quite an 0:13:53.870,0:13:55.550 arrogant young man, and I come bounding 0:13:55.550,0:13:57.470 in and, you know, I'm just, I'm gonna save 0:13:57.470,0:13:58.460 the world there all these kids.... [fades out] 0:13:58.460,0:14:00.620 This professor Andy Van Dam tried to help him. 0:14:00.620,0:14:02.240 He put his arm around my 0:14:02.240,0:14:03.410 shoulders and we went for a little walk and 0:14:03.410,0:14:07.150 he said, "Randy, it's such a shame that 0:14:07.150,0:14:11.890 people perceive you as so arrogant, 0:14:12.060,0:14:15.459 because it's going to limit what you're 0:14:15.459,0:14:17.970 going to be able to accomplish in life." 0:14:17.970,0:14:21.519 What a hell of a good way to word, 'you're 0:14:21.519,0:14:25.779 being a jerk.' It's a whole chapter of his 0:14:25.779,0:14:28.540 book, "Lessons from a Recovering Jerk." 0:14:28.540,0:14:32.019 Proper apologies have three parts. What I 0:14:32.019,0:14:34.660 did was wrong. I feel badly that I hurt 0:14:34.660,0:14:37.360 you. How do I make this better? 0:14:37.360,0:14:39.550 It's the third part that people tend to 0:14:39.550,0:14:43.269 forget. Finally, he managed to win over 0:14:43.269,0:14:45.970 the woman of his dreams. He's so smart, 0:14:45.970,0:14:47.800 he's by far the smartest person I think 0:14:47.800,0:14:50.470 I've ever met, and I've always been able 0:14:50.470,0:14:54.750 to trust him because he is so caring and 0:14:54.750,0:14:59.019 has always made me feel very special. 0:14:59.019,0:15:01.329 Their marriage was a strong partnership 0:15:01.329,0:15:03.850 of equals. They had three children she 0:15:03.850,0:15:07.750 stayed at home to raise full-time, and 0:15:07.750,0:15:10.899 seven happy years before he got the news, 0:15:10.899,0:15:14.079 the cancer. He gave Jai the phone to hear it 0:15:14.079,0:15:17.470 from the doctor too. Did your knees buckle? 0:15:17.470,0:15:19.059 I was sitting on the floor when I took 0:15:19.059,0:15:21.089 that phone call. And was it a slow, 0:15:21.089,0:15:23.739 incremental kind of realization that it? 0:15:23.739,0:15:26.589 No, I think by the time I got off the 0:15:26.589,0:15:28.119 phone, Randy told me he was going to die. 0:15:28.119,0:15:30.629 So, there were many nights that we would 0:15:30.629,0:15:34.809 go to bed, roll over, and hug each other 0:15:34.809,0:15:37.539 and cry, and this went on for several 0:15:37.539,0:15:40.749 days before we finally said, "we have to 0:15:40.749,0:15:43.599 be able to function." I felt like I 0:15:43.599,0:15:45.189 had to get through the day without 0:15:45.189,0:15:48.279 crying. I felt like I had to be able to 0:15:48.279,0:15:50.529 look at him playing with the kids and not cry. 0:15:50.529,0:15:55.149 "What are we making, Logan?" "We're making a snowman!" 0:15:55.149,0:15:56.679 You hear that voice that comes in and says it could be the 0:15:56.679,0:15:58.209 last time they're playing in the snow together, and 0:15:58.209,0:16:02.019 I just have to shut it off. Shut it off, 0:16:02.019,0:16:04.539 so that tomorrow doesn't rob you of 0:16:04.539,0:16:07.479 today. A therapist gave her a kind of 0:16:07.479,0:16:12.389 mantra to say: the words "not helpful." 0:16:12.539,0:16:14.649 Did you just have to train it like a 0:16:14.649,0:16:16.509 muscle? I think so, you know you catch 0:16:16.509,0:16:18.329 yourself going down that path and say, 0:16:18.329,0:16:21.999 "not helpful." I keep imagining people 0:16:21.999,0:16:25.509 listening to you and thinking where does 0:16:25.509,0:16:28.509 she get this? As if it's bearable. Because 0:16:28.509,0:16:32.229 it is. A lot of people have not exactly 0:16:32.229,0:16:34.359 the same situation, but they have 0:16:34.359,0:16:35.889 terrible things in their life that 0:16:35.889,0:16:37.419 they're having to deal with, and they get 0:16:37.419,0:16:38.859 up and they do it too. We're no different. 0:16:38.859,0:16:42.669 I think that there is that 0:16:42.669,0:16:44.889 within us. At this point, 0:16:44.889,0:16:47.439 Randy joins us, now our second interview, 0:16:47.439,0:16:48.850 and we tell him we've been digging 0:16:48.850,0:16:50.829 around and learned that before he 0:16:50.829,0:16:52.839 married Jai, the mild-mannered professor 0:16:52.839,0:16:55.569 was a serious Don Juan. I even had a 0:16:55.569,0:16:58.809 source, his mother. Girls seemed to think 0:16:58.809,0:17:02.170 he was great. Since then, there have been many. 0:17:02.170,0:17:04.839 So your mom said you were a player. 0:17:04.839,0:17:07.030 My mom said I was a player? Your mother. You've 0:17:07.030,0:17:09.760 taught me to tell the truth. 0:17:09.760,0:17:10.930 Okay, my friends and family were starting to use 0:17:10.930,0:17:17.849 words like 'ever' and 'still' and 'Peter Pan,' 0:17:17.849,0:17:22.089 and when I met Jai it just... things 0:17:22.089,0:17:23.380 just completely changed. 0:17:23.380,0:17:25.510 He has already lived a few months beyond 0:17:25.510,0:17:27.790 the doctor's six-month prognosis, though 0:17:27.790,0:17:29.860 as we talk, we notice a physical 0:17:29.860,0:17:32.020 difference. His face is fuller, in part 0:17:32.020,0:17:33.340 because of a brutal regimen of 0:17:33.340,0:17:35.470 chemotherapy. Though, his kind doesn't 0:17:35.470,0:17:38.350 make you lose your hair. And, this time, he 0:17:38.350,0:17:40.120 would occasionally perspire or then 0:17:40.120,0:17:43.900 shudder as if cold. I do feel a different 0:17:43.900,0:17:47.230 mood. A lot of things have changed. 0:17:47.230,0:17:49.180 Are you in pain? I don't think of myself as 0:17:49.180,0:17:50.680 being in pain. Oh, and I have neuropathy; I 0:17:50.680,0:17:52.270 I have a lot of trouble feeling my 0:17:52.270,0:17:54.340 fingers and toes. I sometimes have trouble 0:17:54.340,0:17:55.870 keeping my body temperature up. My 0:17:55.870,0:17:59.170 kidney functions at about 50%. But, he is 0:17:59.170,0:18:01.650 still Randy. I am alive, 0:18:01.650,0:18:05.020 so I feel great. Between doctors 0:18:05.020,0:18:07.270 appointments, he and Jai try to take some 0:18:07.270,0:18:10.720 time just for each other. His inspiration? 0:18:10.720,0:18:13.780 Another of his eclectic philosophers. The 0:18:13.780,0:18:16.120 best piece of parenting advice I have 0:18:16.120,0:18:18.850 ever heard is from flight attendants, and 0:18:18.850,0:18:21.370 that is: when things really get tough, put 0:18:21.370,0:18:24.010 on your own oxygen mask first. We 0:18:24.010,0:18:25.720 wondered if the two of them have a kind 0:18:25.720,0:18:27.520 of list of things they'd like to do in 0:18:27.520,0:18:29.350 the days to come. If there was anything I 0:18:29.350,0:18:31.420 wanted to do that badly, you know, I 0:18:31.420,0:18:33.370 should have already done it. The little 0:18:33.370,0:18:35.050 moments of joy that we have around the 0:18:35.050,0:18:38.050 house, you know, that's my bucket list, is 0:18:38.050,0:18:39.430 how many of those moments can we have. 0:18:39.430,0:18:41.890 Where we are together and we're holding 0:18:41.890,0:18:44.710 hands or we're reading the paper and 0:18:44.710,0:18:46.990 debating what's going on, and those 0:18:46.990,0:18:50.830 are gems that I hold on to. 0:18:50.830,0:18:53.560 But, Jai had already confided to us that 0:18:53.560,0:18:55.600 the day before the interview, she'd been 0:18:55.600,0:18:58.000 in tears again. When we get the scans 0:18:58.000,0:19:00.730 once a month, it's very hard. That reminder 0:19:00.730,0:19:02.980 of 'it's there,' you know, that sand 0:19:02.980,0:19:04.990 is ticking, that sand is coming right out. 0:19:04.990,0:19:08.260 As they sat together, Jai kept looking at 0:19:08.260,0:19:11.320 him. What were you looking at in his face? 0:19:11.320,0:19:15.010 Oh, just those lovely brown eyes. Were you having your Nancy 0:19:15.010,0:19:19.840 Reagan moment? I hope so. He's such an 0:19:19.840,0:19:22.270 eloquent speaker. What is it you most 0:19:22.270,0:19:24.880 like looking at in her face? I like 0:19:24.880,0:19:28.240 looking at her, period. Your know, the best 0:19:28.240,0:19:30.880 part is being with my wife. 0:19:30.880,0:19:33.510 That's the best anything can get. 0:19:35.920,0:19:38.260 When we come back, the rest of this love 0:19:38.260,0:19:42.390 story: their three children. 0:19:46.420,0:19:49.210 A question: if you had six months to live, 0:19:49.210,0:19:51.810 where would you begin with your children? 0:19:51.810,0:19:54.370 Dylan Pausch, age six, 0:19:54.370,0:19:56.830 so like Randy. It's always questions, 0:19:56.830,0:20:00.490 questions, questions. What did he do? 0:20:00.490,0:20:03.100 He freed the slaves. How did he free them? 0:20:03.100,0:20:04.900 High five! Alright! 0:20:04.900,0:20:08.350 Logan, age three, so like his dad, too. I see 0:20:08.350,0:20:11.290 the gregariousness, the happiness, the 0:20:11.290,0:20:15.880 Tigger-ness. Is that crazy high? Is that crazy high? 0:20:15.880,0:20:18.340 Is that crazy high? Oh my 0:20:18.340,0:20:19.480 goodness that's crazy high! 0:20:19.480,0:20:24.150 Chloe is 18 months. 0:20:26.840,0:20:29.570 In our first interview, Randy had told us 0:20:29.570,0:20:31.399 he was spending a lot of time thinking 0:20:31.399,0:20:33.830 about and researching what of your life 0:20:33.830,0:20:35.809 you should leave for your kids, like a 0:20:35.809,0:20:38.659 message in a bottle. He's made videos of 0:20:38.659,0:20:40.610 course, with a portrait of himself as an 0:20:40.610,0:20:43.070 everyday dad. What's my favorite food 0:20:43.070,0:20:44.990 or my least favorite food, you know, it's 0:20:44.990,0:20:47.149 not all the big life lessons, you know, 0:20:47.149,0:20:49.009 sometimes it's just the little things. 0:20:49.009,0:20:49.999 I want my kids to hear the bad 0:20:49.999,0:20:52.190 stories about me as well as the good. 0:20:52.190,0:20:55.700 Bad stories? What bad stories do you imagine? 0:20:55.700,0:20:58.399 Oh, all the stupid things, the bonehead mistakes. 0:20:58.399,0:21:00.440 Give me one stupid, bonehead thing. Well, there was 0:21:00.440,0:21:01.850 the home repair that involved 0:21:01.850,0:21:05.119 electrocution. And guess what he's making 0:21:05.119,0:21:08.419 them? Stuffed animals. I think that them 0:21:08.419,0:21:10.220 having something that I made with my own 0:21:10.220,0:21:13.009 hands will be a way for me to connect 0:21:13.009,0:21:19.340 with them. He told us this is all a 0:21:19.340,0:21:22.580 perfect metaphor for his iPod. If Randy 0:21:22.580,0:21:23.840 were to fill his iPod, what would the 0:21:23.840,0:21:25.970 songs be? You know, "If I Could Catch 0:21:25.970,0:21:31.179 Time in a Bottle." 0:21:32.360,0:21:47.630 [Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce plays] 0:21:47.630,0:21:49.190 And of course, there's the book he has written, 0:21:49.190,0:21:51.890 making sure that each boy has an equal 0:21:51.890,0:21:55.130 number of words. And, for Chloe, his only 0:21:55.130,0:21:57.620 girl, with her mischievous smile. There's that 0:21:57.620,0:21:59.690 sort of twinkle in the eye. And maybe it 0:21:59.690,0:22:01.309 was the look in Chloe's eye that 0:22:01.309,0:22:02.990 inspired a cautionary moment in that 0:22:02.990,0:22:06.590 lecture, a lesson for girls everywhere. It 0:22:06.590,0:22:07.730 took me a long time but I finally 0:22:07.730,0:22:11.389 figured it out. When it comes to men that 0:22:11.389,0:22:13.669 are romantically interested in you, it's 0:22:13.669,0:22:16.159 really simple: just ignore everything 0:22:16.159,0:22:19.340 they say and only pay attention to what 0:22:19.340,0:22:21.200 they do. And I thought back to my 0:22:21.200,0:22:27.169 bachelor days and I said, damn. You almost 0:22:27.169,0:22:28.039 look like you were gonna give Daddy a kiss. 0:22:28.039,0:22:33.409 Ha? No, Haha! Where are you in telling 0:22:33.409,0:22:37.700 the kids? We're not. When do you start to? 0:22:37.700,0:22:40.990 Where he is in bed sick, and at that time, 0:22:40.990,0:22:43.580 they will understand, they will see that 0:22:43.580,0:22:46.190 he is sick and so the words "your daddy is sick" 0:22:46.190,0:22:48.500 will match with the picture of 'Daddy is 0:22:48.500,0:22:51.139 sick.' Right now, Daddy doesn't look sick, 0:22:51.139,0:22:56.240 and he doesn't act sick. 0:22:56.240,0:22:59.000 The best part of the story will be told on the last day 0:22:59.000,0:23:01.100 of my life. On the last day of your life? 0:23:01.100,0:23:03.440 So, I'll never get to hear the best part 0:23:03.440,0:23:06.799 of the story. That's wrong. 0:23:06.799,0:23:09.230 Do you think Dylan knows something? I hope to god he doesn't. 0:23:09.230,0:23:13.130 After all those years, I think you may 0:23:13.130,0:23:15.529 have to remind me. It's not time for him 0:23:15.529,0:23:17.600 to know. I pray nobody will go up to him 0:23:17.600,0:23:20.029 and say anything to him. It's not time. So, 0:23:20.029,0:23:21.799 if somebody were to tell him or if he 0:23:21.799,0:23:24.500 were to suspect his father were dying, he 0:23:24.500,0:23:26.510 might think that that was today, tonight, 0:23:26.510,0:23:29.179 tomorrow. Where do you come up with all 0:23:29.179,0:23:31.780 these great stories? 0:23:31.780,0:23:34.210 In your head? Are you using 0:23:34.210,0:23:39.640 your imagination? It really isn't real. 0:23:39.640,0:23:41.799 He and Jai are also recruiting playmates who share 0:23:41.799,0:23:44.650 Randy's spirit, like Randy's niece and 0:23:44.650,0:23:47.169 nephew, who remember when Uncle Randy 0:23:47.169,0:23:50.049 gave them two rules: no whining and don't 0:23:50.049,0:23:53.049 tell Mom what we do. He was most 0:23:53.049,0:23:55.030 determined to teach them that material 0:23:55.030,0:23:57.190 things are just not important. Once, he 0:23:57.190,0:23:58.330 had a brand-new car. 0:23:58.330,0:24:00.970 So cool, awesome, blue convertible. 0:24:00.970,0:24:03.669 It's a convertible. Yeah, very cool. Their mother, 0:24:03.669,0:24:05.799 Randy's sister, was worried, lecturing her 0:24:05.799,0:24:07.809 kids about being seriously careful. So, 0:24:07.809,0:24:09.850 uncle Randy opened a can of coke and 0:24:09.850,0:24:13.929 poured it right in under the seat. 0:24:13.929,0:24:16.950 We couldn't believe it. 0:24:37.410,0:24:40.150 Randy and Jai have also gotten help to 0:24:40.150,0:24:42.310 prepare for that other unbearable 0:24:42.310,0:24:44.980 conversation, the one Jai will have in 0:24:44.980,0:24:47.320 days to come. They're guided by Dr. 0:24:47.320,0:24:50.560 Michelle Reese. In very simple terms that 0:24:50.560,0:24:54.060 Mommy or Daddy got so very sick that 0:24:54.060,0:24:56.980 their heart couldn't beat anymore. 0:24:56.980,0:24:58.240 One of the things that we were 0:24:58.240,0:25:02.830 told was don't talk about dying as like 0:25:02.830,0:25:05.070 going to sleep. A lot of young children, 0:25:05.070,0:25:08.830 if you use that as your metaphor, will be 0:25:08.830,0:25:10.210 afraid when they go to sleep that 0:25:10.210,0:25:11.020 they're going to die, too. 0:25:11.020,0:25:15.120 [Randy saying "goodbye" in multiple languages] 0:25:15.120,0:25:18.700 Lots of different ways to say goodbye. 0:25:18.700,0:25:22.270 He is also leaving a "someday" message for 0:25:22.270,0:25:24.580 Jai. Certainly, I want her to be happy and 0:25:24.580,0:25:28.840 I want the kids to be happy, and if that 0:25:28.840,0:25:30.940 means her remarrying, I'm all for it. On 0:25:30.940,0:25:33.550 questions of religion, Randy says he'd 0:25:33.550,0:25:36.040 like to keep those private. He told us 0:25:36.040,0:25:38.140 his late father, a presbyterian, was the 0:25:38.140,0:25:40.870 most Christian man he'd ever met, and he 0:25:40.870,0:25:43.450 often returns to a familiar prayer. Well, 0:25:43.450,0:25:44.920 you know, the serenity prayer is not a 0:25:44.920,0:25:47.140 bad thing for anybody. God grant me the 0:25:47.140,0:25:49.510 strength to change the things I can, the 0:25:49.510,0:25:51.250 serenity to accept the things I can't, 0:25:51.250,0:25:53.820 and the wisdom to know the difference. 0:25:53.820,0:25:57.010 For Jai, a different phrase. Was there 0:25:57.010,0:25:59.800 something you've read, something someone 0:25:59.800,0:26:02.050 has said that is what you repeat to 0:26:02.050,0:26:04.510 yourself in the darkest times now? 0:26:04.510,0:26:05.530 I have everything I need. 0:26:05.530,0:26:07.900 She's used it in a kind of meditation. 0:26:07.900,0:26:10.750 But are you saying today, at this point, 0:26:10.750,0:26:14.520 you have a kind of peace? 0:26:16.880,0:26:19.450 Yes. 0:26:20.000,0:26:22.280 For better or for worse, it is what it is 0:26:22.280,0:26:24.740 and I can't change the fact that Randy 0:26:24.740,0:26:27.530 has cancer. I can't make those tumors go 0:26:27.530,0:26:30.610 away, no matter how much I would want to. 0:26:30.610,0:26:33.830 So, it is what it is, and I have to live 0:26:33.830,0:26:38.120 with that, and in order to do so, I accept, 0:26:38.120,0:26:41.870 I accept the circumstances. I accept the 0:26:41.870,0:26:44.120 conditions upon which we are 0:26:44.120,0:26:50.080 living. I do, and I am at peace with that. 0:26:50.080,0:26:54.970 I don't like it, but I accept it. 0:26:55.110,0:26:58.150 On a family trip to Orlando, the night at 0:26:58.150,0:27:00.130 the hotel, we watched Randy put the kids 0:27:00.130,0:27:02.470 to bed, with the questions he asks them 0:27:02.470,0:27:04.600 at the end of every day. Okay, here we go 0:27:04.600,0:27:07.600 pumpkin. Randy, at bedtime, he asked them 0:27:07.600,0:27:09.520 questions. What was the best thing about 0:27:09.520,0:27:12.280 your day? What was the best part of today? 0:27:12.280,0:27:15.220 Playing with Mommy. Okay, what was the worst part 0:27:15.220,0:27:17.470 of today? Playing with you. Playing with me? Are you 0:27:17.470,0:27:29.730 joking me? Yeah. You are, okay! So let's say 0:27:29.730,0:27:33.160 you're in your pajamas. What was the best 0:27:33.160,0:27:34.720 thing about your day and what was the 0:27:34.720,0:27:37.210 worst thing about your day? Well first 0:27:37.210,0:27:39.550 off, I'd say the day's not over yet, so 0:27:39.550,0:27:40.720 there's always a chance that there will 0:27:40.720,0:27:44.290 be a new best. And, on Halloween, Randy, Jai, 0:27:44.290,0:27:46.450 and the children dressed as The 0:27:46.450,0:27:51.309 Incredibles. Before we take a break, 0:27:51.309,0:27:53.559 something I promised Randy and Jai I 0:27:53.559,0:27:56.350 would say to you: if by any chance, any of 0:27:56.350,0:27:58.720 you ever see the Pausch family, just 0:27:58.720,0:28:00.580 remember, say nothing to the children. 0:28:00.580,0:28:03.429 They'll learn at the right time. When we 0:28:03.429,0:28:05.410 come back, some of the people who say 0:28:05.410,0:28:08.410 Randy simply changed their lives, and he 0:28:08.410,0:28:09.970 gets a chance at something he never 0:28:09.970,0:28:13.260 thought he would do. 0:28:20.509,0:28:23.989 Never lose the childlike wonder. It's 0:28:23.989,0:28:26.239 just too important. It's what drives us. 0:28:26.239,0:28:28.580 And there, I actually have a picture 0:28:28.580,0:28:31.389 of me dreaming. 0:28:31.840,0:28:34.600 I did a lot of that. It's a famous 0:28:34.600,0:28:36.760 event in the Pausch household, when Randy 0:28:36.760,0:28:38.830 was a little boy and asked to paint some 0:28:38.830,0:28:40.899 of his dreams on the walls of his room. 0:28:40.899,0:28:42.760 And the great thing about this is they 0:28:42.760,0:28:45.100 let me do it, and they didn't get upset 0:28:45.100,0:28:47.919 about it, and it's still there. If you go 0:28:47.919,0:28:50.080 to my parents' house, it's still there. I'd 0:28:50.080,0:28:52.440 always wanted a submarine and an elevator. 0:28:52.440,0:28:56.020 Well they put up "disco sucks" and I made 0:28:56.020,0:29:00.309 them take "sucks" out. That's the only 0:29:00.309,0:29:03.640 hand I had in it. Anybody 0:29:03.640,0:29:05.140 who is out there who is a parent: if your 0:29:05.140,0:29:07.480 kids want to paint their bedroom, as 0:29:07.480,0:29:10.330 a favor to me, let them do it. It'll 0:29:10.330,0:29:12.340 be okay. Don't worry about resale value 0:29:12.340,0:29:16.360 on the house. All the people who 0:29:16.360,0:29:18.580 watched his lecture have answered the 0:29:18.580,0:29:21.039 call. Peter Rebling of Virginia let his 0:29:21.039,0:29:23.620 daughter do it. Diane Gregory let her son. 0:29:23.620,0:29:25.929 Carol Castle's daughter Kelsey wanted 0:29:25.929,0:29:27.789 shocking pink. I'm like, "Why do you want to 0:29:27.789,0:29:29.890 paint you room Pepto-Bismol?" But, because 0:29:29.890,0:29:32.020 Kelsey had also watched Randy's lecture, 0:29:32.020,0:29:34.390 she painted some bricks on her shocking 0:29:34.390,0:29:36.490 pink walls. Let me let you in on a little secret. 0:29:37.090,0:29:38.919 Not only that, in schools across the 0:29:38.919,0:29:40.960 country, students have begun to perform 0:29:40.960,0:29:43.120 Randy's speech. You see the brick walls 0:29:43.120,0:29:44.620 are there...if you give us a chance to 0:29:44.620,0:29:46.419 show how badly we want something. 0:29:46.419,0:29:48.990 A faltering beauty queen in Kent, Ohio 0:29:48.990,0:29:52.600 didn't quit. He helped me achieve my dream. 0:29:52.600,0:29:55.240 A businessman hands out copies to his 0:29:55.240,0:29:58.029 employees. A minister uses the tape to 0:29:58.029,0:30:01.470 inspire song at choir practice. 0:30:01.470,0:30:03.780 And in California, a breast cancer 0:30:03.780,0:30:06.659 patient, Kaje Lane, watched and took 0:30:06.659,0:30:10.559 heart. His positive attitude just kind of 0:30:10.559,0:30:12.030 lifted that fear out of me. 0:30:12.030,0:30:14.730 Alfred Nicolosi of Salem, New Jersey, 0:30:14.730,0:30:17.309 battling illness and depression, cleaned 0:30:17.309,0:30:20.820 his house and began to live. Randy's life 0:30:20.820,0:30:23.070 turned mine around. You just have to 0:30:23.070,0:30:25.020 decide if you're a Tigger or an Eeyore. 0:30:25.020,0:30:27.390 In Gold Beach, Oregon, Barb with terminal 0:30:27.390,0:30:30.330 multiple myeloma. If he can do it, so can 0:30:30.330,0:30:33.240 I. If I don't seem as depressed or morose as 0:30:33.240,0:30:36.169 I should be, sorry to disappoint you. 0:30:36.169,0:30:39.809 I love that line. She packed up and 0:30:39.809,0:30:41.340 moved across country to be near her 0:30:41.340,0:30:43.950 grandchildren. I'd like them to remember 0:30:43.950,0:30:47.909 me as the fun grandma. Randy Pausch says 0:30:47.909,0:30:49.799 maybe you should keep a crayon in your 0:30:49.799,0:30:51.929 pocket so the smell can remind you when 0:30:51.929,0:30:54.440 you were young and thought you could fly. 0:30:54.440,0:30:56.909 He still has the list he made as a 0:30:56.909,0:31:01.380 little boy, Impossible Dreams. Win 0:31:01.380,0:31:03.900 stuffed animals. We know how that one 0:31:03.900,0:31:06.270 ended. Write an article in the World Book 0:31:06.270,0:31:09.380 Encyclopedia. He can check that off, too. 0:31:09.380,0:31:11.880 But, we noticed there was something on 0:31:11.880,0:31:14.490 Randy's list that had long been out of 0:31:14.490,0:31:16.230 reach. All right, let's talk about 0:31:16.230,0:31:17.940 football. My dream was to play in the 0:31:17.940,0:31:20.220 National Football League. And, most of you 0:31:20.220,0:31:23.360 don't know that I actually pl– no. [laughter] 0:31:23.520,0:31:25.870 We were with Randy at one of his 0:31:25.870,0:31:27.100 doctor's appointments. 0:31:27.100,0:31:28.690 We'd made a couple of calls, and 0:31:28.690,0:31:30.940 producer Jeff Marts told him there was 0:31:30.940,0:31:33.220 an invitation. This Wednesday, the 0:31:33.220,0:31:35.320 Pittsburgh Steelers were wondering if 0:31:35.320,0:31:37.540 you wanted to come to practice and maybe 0:31:37.540,0:31:39.940 toss around a football. You have got to 0:31:39.940,0:31:40.720 be kidding me. 0:31:40.720,0:31:45.210 So, bring your sneakers. Right. Wow. 0:31:46.640,0:31:48.480 Wow. 0:31:50.550,0:31:54.050 That will be so cool. 0:31:54.370,0:31:56.799 He walks out on the field for his own 0:31:56.799,0:31:59.919 kind of Chariots of Fire, wearing the 0:31:59.919,0:32:01.840 jersey of his favorite player: legendary 0:32:01.840,0:32:04.809 wide receiver Hines Ward, only to learn 0:32:04.809,0:32:06.490 that the man about to throw the passes 0:32:06.490,0:32:10.679 is Hines Ward himself. 0:32:26.630,0:32:29.210 The once scrawny kid, hammered by the 0:32:29.210,0:32:35.350 coach of a peewee league, caught every single pass. 0:32:41.250,0:32:44.910 Catching like me out there huh? But then they ask, is 0:32:44.910,0:32:48.120 he up for one more dare? They want to know if you 0:32:48.120,0:32:50.640 want to try kicking. Haven't done that 0:32:50.640,0:32:53.550 in a while, sure. Nervous, but he is the 0:32:53.550,0:32:55.380 guy who says sometimes the only safe 0:32:55.380,0:32:59.300 thing is to take a chance. I used to be an athlete. 0:32:59.300,0:33:01.130 It's better to be a 'used to be' than 0:33:01.130,0:33:05.690 'never was.' Damn sure. I can do this, I 0:33:05.690,0:33:09.800 think. How's it going? Hi, Daniel. 0:33:09.800,0:33:11.890 Nice to meet you, I'm Randy. Randy, nice to meet you. 0:33:11.890,0:33:15.100 Here we go! 0:33:29.600,0:33:32.070 In the locker room, a moment with tight 0:33:32.070,0:33:34.140 end John Dekker, whose dad's going into surgery. 0:33:34.830,0:33:37.910 What's the surgery? For prostate cancer. 0:33:38.340,0:33:40.320 My thoughts will be with him. 0:33:40.320,0:33:42.360 Star quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, just 0:33:42.360,0:33:43.920 returning from a serious motorcycle 0:33:43.920,0:33:46.290 accident. It's an honor to have you here, 0:33:46.290,0:33:47.970 it really is. I'm glad you could make it. 0:33:47.970,0:33:53.100 The honor's all mine. I admire the grit you've showed 0:33:53.100,0:33:55.380 coming back from surgery. A little adversity, yeah. 0:33:55.380,0:33:58.110 Mine's not as bad as yours, but it was bad, 0:33:58.110,0:33:59.820 I'll tell you what. I think I still look 0:33:59.820,0:34:03.170 good. I think you look great! 0:34:12.510,0:34:15.960 Wow, just a great place. 0:34:20.090,0:34:23.840 They are very big people. 0:34:29.810,0:34:32.030 One more note. When it comes to 0:34:32.030,0:34:34.190 childlike wonder, there's something else 0:34:34.190,0:34:35.929 you should know about Randy Pausch and 0:34:35.929,0:34:38.510 his team at Carnegie Mellon. They created 0:34:38.510,0:34:40.730 something called "The Alice Project." You 0:34:40.730,0:34:42.710 can download it for free tonight on the 0:34:42.710,0:34:45.230 internet. It teaches kids to learn about 0:34:45.230,0:34:48.080 computers by telling wonderful stories. 0:34:48.080,0:34:50.409 And then, we're going to have Kristen 0:34:50.409,0:34:52.730 slap Trevor, so this is basically a 0:34:52.730,0:34:54.290 reenactment of my middle school 0:34:54.290,0:34:57.170 experience. He particularly designed it 0:34:57.170,0:35:00.710 for girls, since only 17 to 28 percent of 0:35:00.710,0:35:02.600 those majoring in computer science in 0:35:02.600,0:35:05.810 college are female. And, to even let one not 0:35:05.810,0:35:08.390 quite girl anymore show how I could 0:35:08.390,0:35:11.720 stand the professor on his heels. When we 0:35:11.720,0:35:14.300 come back, our last visit with Randy, just 0:35:14.300,0:35:17.230 six days ago. 0:35:21.200,0:35:24.710 Hello! Hi! Just last Thursday, we went to see 0:35:24.710,0:35:26.930 Randy once again at his home. It had been 0:35:26.930,0:35:28.789 a rough time. I'm still a little wobbly, 0:35:28.789,0:35:32.000 but hanging in there. He had just come 0:35:32.000,0:35:34.609 home from the hospital. The chemotherapy 0:35:34.609,0:35:36.619 had shut down his kidneys temporarily, 0:35:36.619,0:35:39.200 and he'd been in heart failure. With 0:35:39.200,0:35:41.000 three liters of fluid surrounding your 0:35:41.000,0:35:42.740 lungs, your breathing starts to turn into [pants]. 0:35:42.740,0:35:46.490 So, that was, you know, that was a 0:35:46.490,0:35:49.190 little bit scary. He acknowledged every 0:35:49.190,0:35:51.799 now and then, even Tigger goes down for 0:35:51.799,0:35:53.450 the count. You know, there are certainly 0:35:53.450,0:35:56.480 times when you feel like okay, yeah, 0:35:56.480,0:35:58.160 you've beaten me down to my knees, and 0:35:58.160,0:36:01.369 now the challenge is I'm on my knees and 0:36:01.369,0:36:02.630 you're just gonna keep beating me, and 0:36:02.630,0:36:04.279 the question is are you gonna beat me all 0:36:04.279,0:36:05.359 the way to the ground or am I going to 0:36:05.359,0:36:06.680 find a way to struggle back up to my 0:36:06.680,0:36:09.079 feet? And, you know, it takes time 0:36:09.079,0:36:11.480 sometimes. Even for you? 0:36:11.480,0:36:13.970 Absolutely for me. There's certainly 0:36:13.970,0:36:16.460 times when I cry, you know, I like to cry 0:36:16.460,0:36:17.809 in the shower, I think for the same 0:36:17.809,0:36:19.400 reason that people sing in the shower is 0:36:19.400,0:36:21.559 that you think nobody, you know, it's your 0:36:21.559,0:36:24.349 own little private space. He told us the 0:36:24.349,0:36:26.599 support of strangers had meant the world 0:36:26.599,0:36:29.779 to him. So, how do you get people to help 0:36:29.779,0:36:31.730 you? You can't get there alone. You get 0:36:31.730,0:36:33.170 people to help you by telling the truth, 0:36:33.170,0:36:35.420 being earnest. I'll take an earnest 0:36:35.420,0:36:37.700 person over a hip person every day, 0:36:37.700,0:36:39.859 because hip is short-term. Earnest is 0:36:39.859,0:36:43.009 long-term. I was a big believer in people 0:36:43.009,0:36:44.820 when this started, but my goodness. 0:36:44.820,0:36:48.900 He showed us a few of the 0:36:48.900,0:36:51.300 emails he's received, former students 0:36:51.300,0:36:53.610 saying how he changed them, parents 0:36:53.610,0:36:55.470 writing, too. A lot of people wrote to me 0:36:55.470,0:36:57.540 and said I have a teenager, I have so 0:36:57.540,0:37:00.000 much trouble talking with them, they 0:37:00.000,0:37:01.770 watched your lecture and after the 0:37:01.770,0:37:03.350 lecture, we sat down and talked for hours. 0:37:03.350,0:37:07.440 And, letters like this one. 0:37:07.440,0:37:10.290 To think that on December 29th, 2007, I 0:37:10.290,0:37:13.140 planned my suicide. And now, I thank God 0:37:13.140,0:37:16.290 for every day I have to live. I'm ashamed 0:37:16.290,0:37:18.120 that I took my life for granted while 0:37:18.120,0:37:22.410 you take nothing for granted. 0:37:22.410,0:37:24.510 Again, it's time for us to leave, but again, 0:37:24.510,0:37:27.330 before we go, the professor has another 0:37:27.330,0:37:29.930 critique of me for the broadcast tonight. 0:37:29.930,0:37:33.240 Be careful, he says, of that "Saint Randy" 0:37:33.240,0:37:35.130 stuff. Every time I do teaching 0:37:35.130,0:37:37.860 evaluations, 95% of them say, you know, 0:37:37.860,0:37:39.240 this was one of the best courses I've 0:37:39.240,0:37:41.910 ever taken, and the other 5% say you are 0:37:41.910,0:37:44.220 a monster and should not be let 0:37:44.220,0:37:46.650 near students. And sometimes, you know, I 0:37:46.650,0:37:49.290 have all the social graces of, you know, a 0:37:49.290,0:37:52.380 lumbering moose. Which brings us back to 0:37:52.380,0:37:55.250 the day of the lecture. Dr. Randy Pausch. 0:37:55.250,0:37:58.170 When students and colleagues came from 0:37:58.170,0:37:59.850 all over the country to hear and pay 0:37:59.850,0:38:02.100 tribute to their singular mentor and 0:38:02.100,0:38:04.530 friend. Don't tell people how to live 0:38:04.530,0:38:08.090 their lives. Just tell them stories, and 0:38:08.090,0:38:12.000 they'll figure out how the stories apply 0:38:12.000,0:38:14.610 to them. It was sort of like being there 0:38:14.610,0:38:17.280 when when Babe Ruth hit his called 0:38:17.280,0:38:19.350 home run... Jeff's Zaslow of the Wall 0:38:19.350,0:38:21.990 Street Journal, co-author of Randy's book. 0:38:21.990,0:38:24.840 His fate is our fate, but it's just 0:38:24.840,0:38:26.880 sped up. We're all dying just like Randy 0:38:26.880,0:38:29.550 is. When we can see him how he's 0:38:29.550,0:38:31.380 traveling, it makes us think about how 0:38:31.380,0:38:33.660 we're going to travel. Toward the end of 0:38:33.660,0:38:35.760 the lecture, a surprise for Jai. It was 0:38:35.760,0:38:38.180 her birthday. 0:38:38.190,0:38:42.089 I went up and gave him a big hug and I 0:38:42.089,0:38:45.930 whispered to him that, I asked him, I said 0:38:45.930,0:38:51.509 "please don't die," because all the magic 0:38:51.509,0:38:54.890 would leave with him. 0:38:56.250,0:39:00.960 The lecture, over. Time to go. So today's 0:39:00.960,0:39:03.109 talk was about my childhood dreams, 0:39:03.109,0:39:06.329 enabling the dreams of others, and some 0:39:06.329,0:39:10.349 lessons learned. But, did you figure out 0:39:10.349,0:39:12.829 the head fake? 0:39:13.910,0:39:15.200 It's not about how to achieve your 0:39:15.200,0:39:18.730 dreams. It's about how to lead your life. 0:39:18.730,0:39:20.630 Have you figured out the second head fake? 0:39:24.660,0:39:27.299 Talk's not for you. It's for my kids. 0:39:27.299,0:39:32.999 Thank you, goodnight. 0:39:32.999,0:39:41.800 [music and applause] 0:39:41.800,0:39:43.960 There was a definite sense, when I put that talk 0:39:43.960,0:39:45.880 together that, to use another 0:39:45.880,0:39:47.500 football expression, you know, I wanted to 0:39:47.500,0:39:48.369 leave it all on the field. 0:39:48.369,0:39:55.460 [music and applause] 0:39:55.460,0:39:57.680 I've played the football games where 0:39:57.680,0:39:58.880 you walk off the field and the 0:39:58.880,0:40:00.140 scoreboard didn't end up the way you 0:40:00.140,0:40:05.869 wanted, but you knew that you really did 0:40:05.869,0:40:12.100 give it all, and the other team was too strong. 0:40:12.100,0:40:14.420 Yeah, I'm not gonna beat the cancer. I 0:40:14.420,0:40:18.740 tried really. I mean, I did everything. We 0:40:18.740,0:40:20.720 have no regrets. We got the best medical 0:40:20.720,0:40:24.290 care in the world, but sometimes you're 0:40:24.290,0:40:27.860 just not gonna beat the thing. But, you 0:40:27.860,0:40:29.930 want to walk off the field and say, yeah 0:40:29.930,0:40:34.640 no regrets, gave it the best shot. 0:40:34.640,0:40:37.630 I wanted to walk off the stage and say 0:40:37.630,0:40:39.650 anything I thought was important. 0:40:39.650,0:40:42.340 I had my hour. 0:40:50.390,0:40:53.280 The Last Lecture, which is published by 0:40:53.280,0:40:55.170 our sister company Hyperion is in 0:40:55.170,0:40:57.630 bookstores today and you can go online 0:40:57.630,0:40:59.730 for more information on the Pancreatic 0:40:59.730,0:41:02.130 Cancer Action Network and the Lustgarten 0:41:02.130,0:41:03.660 Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer 0:41:03.660,0:41:05.760 Research, which is doing something very 0:41:05.760,0:41:08.880 special with Randy's book. I'm Diane 0:41:08.880,0:41:11.100 Sawyer, and for all of us at Primetime 0:41:11.100,0:41:13.980 and ABC News, I want to thank Randy Pausch 0:41:13.980,0:41:16.680 and his family, as we wish them and you a 0:41:16.680,0:41:21.410 good night and a joyful day tomorrow.