WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.991
Thanks so much for joining this episode, guys
00:00:01.991 --> 00:00:03.310
We love making this stuff
00:00:03.310 --> 00:00:04.859
to bring all types of people together.
00:00:04.859 --> 00:00:06.090
Yes, and we did do this topic
00:00:06.090 --> 00:00:07.261
in a previuos Middle Ground episode,
00:00:07.261 --> 00:00:08.101
but due to your feedback
00:00:08.101 --> 00:00:09.501
we chose to bring back this topic
00:00:09.501 --> 00:00:10.742
with teens and parents
00:00:10.742 --> 00:00:11.744
that do not know each other.
00:00:11.744 --> 00:00:13.014
Also, if you wanna be in a video,
00:00:13.014 --> 00:00:14.318
because I love reading your stories,
00:00:14.318 --> 00:00:15.885
fill up the casting forum below
00:00:15.885 --> 00:00:16.365
Enjoy!
00:00:16.510 --> 00:00:18.120
One of the biggest things I believe in
00:00:18.120 --> 00:00:19.034
is: you don't need a mother,
00:00:19.034 --> 00:00:19.911
you don't need a father,
00:00:19.911 --> 00:00:20.884
you need a parent.
00:00:20.884 --> 00:00:38.034
[Cool suspense music]
00:00:38.034 --> 00:00:40.154
My name is Anthony Cabassa,
00:00:40.154 --> 00:00:41.418
I have three children,
00:00:41.418 --> 00:00:43.386
and I'm a veteran, and I'm a parent,
00:00:43.386 --> 00:00:44.431
and I'm happy to be here.
00:00:44.431 --> 00:00:46.361
My name is Cassandra Roy,
00:00:46.361 --> 00:00:47.928
I am a life coach,
00:00:47.928 --> 00:00:51.414
and I have one son, David Alexander,
00:00:51.414 --> 00:00:54.248
who's a full time MFA student at Yale University
00:00:54.248 --> 00:00:55.365
on a full scholarship.
00:00:55.365 --> 00:00:57.225
My name is Marissa Gold,
00:00:57.225 --> 00:00:59.585
I have two children,
00:00:59.585 --> 00:01:01.365
they're 14 and 10,
00:01:01.365 --> 00:01:04.061
and I also have a parenting company.
00:01:04.061 --> 00:01:06.911
I run social and emotional empowerment groups
00:01:06.911 --> 00:01:08.931
for tween and teen boys and girls.
00:01:08.931 --> 00:01:11.101
I'm Elizabeth, I'm 18,
00:01:11.101 --> 00:01:13.212
next year I'll be going to school
00:01:13.212 --> 00:01:15.172
to study nursing, and I have
00:01:15.172 --> 00:01:16.882
two dads and a brother.
00:01:16.882 --> 00:01:19.013
My name is Adam, I'm 15 years old
00:01:19.013 --> 00:01:20.583
and currently I'm working on starting
00:01:20.583 --> 00:01:22.103
my own clothing brand :)
00:01:22.103 --> 00:01:24.574
I'm Noopur, I'm a Computer Science
00:01:24.574 --> 00:01:27.034
and Engineering major at UC Irvine.
00:01:30.143 --> 00:01:32.453
"I feel too stressed"
00:01:39.786 --> 00:01:41.626
The first source of stress in your life
00:01:41.626 --> 00:01:43.076
is probably your parents.
00:01:43.076 --> 00:01:44.706
Something from your parents.
00:01:44.706 --> 00:01:46.806
In a kind of... with your parents expectations
00:01:46.806 --> 00:01:49.366
it kind of builts. At least for me it did.
00:01:49.366 --> 00:01:51.996
My parents immigrated from India,
00:01:51.996 --> 00:01:53.486
and so they went to college in India
00:01:53.486 --> 00:01:56.516
and I'm a first generation Indian-American.
00:01:56.516 --> 00:01:58.536
I did robotics, I did music,
00:01:58.536 --> 00:02:00.796
I did volunteering in highschool...
00:02:00.796 --> 00:02:01.746
and I got into college.
00:02:01.746 --> 00:02:03.396
They were like "you should finish college
00:02:03.396 --> 00:02:05.516
in like three years", like "yes, is four years,
00:02:05.516 --> 00:02:06.926
but finish earlier, save money,
00:02:06.926 --> 00:02:08.506
do a Master's program."
00:02:08.506 --> 00:02:09.496
"Finish Master's early,
00:02:09.496 --> 00:02:11.236
try and do a PhD;
00:02:11.236 --> 00:02:12.996
get a job while you're at it."
00:02:12.996 --> 00:02:15.996
I don't even think I would be in college
00:02:15.996 --> 00:02:17.806
if it wasn't for my parents, but...
00:02:17.806 --> 00:02:21.236
the fear of disappointing my parents is terrifying.
00:02:21.236 --> 00:02:23.026
If I wanted to pursue something else
00:02:23.026 --> 00:02:24.999
I would do it after college, I would do it
00:02:24.999 --> 00:02:27.999
after I got a job, I'm stable, after
00:02:27.999 --> 00:02:30.821
I've fulfilled what I needed to fulfill
00:02:30.821 --> 00:02:31.901
for my parents.
00:02:31.901 --> 00:02:33.981
It pains me to hear how stressed you already are,
00:02:33.981 --> 00:02:37.258
because I think, as adults like, we know, like, it doesn't end.
00:02:37.258 --> 00:02:39.948
You know? It's like, it's just like it gets harder
00:02:39.948 --> 00:02:42.248
and harder. Like, unfortunately unfortunately,
00:02:42.248 --> 00:02:44.208
like, life gets exciting and it goes in
00:02:44.208 --> 00:02:45.708
dips and waves and whatever but..
00:02:45.708 --> 00:02:47.568
But there's no alternative
00:02:47.568 --> 00:02:49.538
You just keep going, there's no option
00:02:49.538 --> 00:02:50.448
to quit.
00:02:50.448 --> 00:02:52.068
I feel like the last kid being chosen
00:02:52.068 --> 00:02:54.398
for the baseball team [laughs].
00:02:54.398 --> 00:02:56.748
Don't be too hard on your parents,
00:02:56.748 --> 00:02:58.468
because they're doing the best they can
00:02:58.468 --> 00:03:00.118
with the information that they have.
00:03:01.146 --> 00:03:02.616
And, in terms of you (Noopur),
00:03:02.616 --> 00:03:04.197
I would really strongly suggest that you
00:03:04.197 --> 00:03:06.861
sit down and have a conversation with them.
00:03:06.861 --> 00:03:09.421
Because you may not understand this,
00:03:09.421 --> 00:03:11.159
but they know something's
00:03:11.159 --> 00:03:12.259
not settling with you.
00:03:12.259 --> 00:03:14.659
My parents have tried talking to me.
00:03:14.659 --> 00:03:15.669
The walls are already there
00:03:15.669 --> 00:03:17.525
and if you don't have the fundation
00:03:17.525 --> 00:03:19.365
it's hard to start at a later age.
00:03:20.901 --> 00:03:25.061
"I have struggled to be honest with my family"
00:03:32.317 --> 00:03:35.122
I mean, I was in the closet for 13 years,
00:03:35.122 --> 00:03:36.942
so... that was one thing.
00:03:36.942 --> 00:03:38.642
It's almost like as soon as I came out
00:03:38.642 --> 00:03:40.802
of the closet, everything else did.
00:03:40.802 --> 00:03:42.162
I started being more open,
00:03:42.162 --> 00:03:43.022
I talked to more people,
00:03:43.022 --> 00:03:45.222
I learnt how to express myself through art
00:03:45.222 --> 00:03:48.052
and through clothing, which I'm now doing.
00:03:48.052 --> 00:03:49.532
For me, personally,
00:03:49.532 --> 00:03:52.068
I have struggled with an eating disorder
00:03:52.068 --> 00:03:56.130
from the time I was 11 until just recently.
00:03:56.130 --> 00:03:57.410
I mean, you're always in recover
00:03:57.410 --> 00:03:59.100
if you have an eating disorder.
00:03:59.100 --> 00:04:01.680
So much of that mental illness is lying,
00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:03.510
and going behind people's backs.
00:04:03.510 --> 00:04:05.500
My parents had to sit outside of
00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:06.520
my shower at night to make sure
00:04:06.520 --> 00:04:07.550
I wasn't throwing up.
00:04:07.550 --> 00:04:08.732
They had to check in with my friends
00:04:08.732 --> 00:04:10.414
to make sure I was eating.
00:04:10.414 --> 00:04:11.368
All of these things,
00:04:11.368 --> 00:04:13.014
there's absolutely no trust,
00:04:13.014 --> 00:04:13.844
and I still couldn't feel
00:04:13.844 --> 00:04:15.444
like I could tell them anything because
00:04:15.444 --> 00:04:17.524
my mental illness wouldn't let me.
00:04:17.524 --> 00:04:19.894
I have worked SO hard
00:04:19.894 --> 00:04:21.397
to regain all of my trust
00:04:21.397 --> 00:04:23.298
and now my parents trust me to
00:04:23.298 --> 00:04:24.137
absolutely no end.
00:04:24.137 --> 00:04:26.827
They now I would tell me the truth in any circumstance.
00:04:26.827 --> 00:04:29.505
In my family we don't talk about mental illness,
00:04:29.505 --> 00:04:32.049
or depression, or anything like that.
00:04:32.049 --> 00:04:33.788
We don't talk abut sex in my family.
00:04:33.788 --> 00:04:37.788
Saying the word sex in my house is like taboo.
00:04:37.788 --> 00:04:40.542
And slowly my dad has tried reaching out
00:04:40.542 --> 00:04:43.342
but is very (?), like he once told me in highschool
00:04:43.342 --> 00:04:46.748
"Hey, you should go into this Body Positivity
00:04:46.748 --> 00:04:49.208
workshop in school" Like, he could tell
00:04:49.208 --> 00:04:53.666
that I wasn't happy with the way I looked.
00:04:53.666 --> 00:04:56.686
I couldn't ever, really, come out to them
00:04:56.691 --> 00:04:59.371
about the fact that "Oh, I have depression"
00:04:59.371 --> 00:05:03.216
"Oh, I'm going to see a therapist in college now"
00:05:03.216 --> 00:05:04.146
I think, for me,
00:05:04.146 --> 00:05:06.536
my struggle with being honest with my family
00:05:06.536 --> 00:05:09.246
is that growing up I was Christian,
00:05:09.246 --> 00:05:12.021
and everything we solved through prayer and reading the Bible.
00:05:12.021 --> 00:05:14.249
If you were depressed, prayer and Bible.
00:05:14.249 --> 00:05:15.799
If you wanted to have a girlfriend,
00:05:15.799 --> 00:05:18.377
"hey that's not allowed"= prayer and Bible
00:05:18.377 --> 00:05:20.814
My mom was a very fierce
00:05:20.814 --> 00:05:22.775
female individual in my life.
00:05:22.775 --> 00:05:24.333
Her motto has always been:
00:05:24.333 --> 00:05:26.563
"Your life is going to suck all the time,
00:05:26.563 --> 00:05:28.113
and if you set to that baseline,
00:05:28.113 --> 00:05:29.603
then you'll never be disappointed
00:05:29.603 --> 00:05:31.933
because you always expect the worst."
00:05:31.933 --> 00:05:32.853
By growing up that way
00:05:32.853 --> 00:05:35.072
I feel like maybe I'm a stronger individual
00:05:35.072 --> 00:05:36.672
but that communication was never there,
00:05:36.672 --> 00:05:37.672
and that honesty was definitely not there,
00:05:37.672 --> 00:05:39.577
'cause there's things that I would do
00:05:39.577 --> 00:05:41.167
and I'm like "Wop, that's definetly not Christian-like
00:05:41.167 --> 00:05:43.214
so I'm not gonna tell about that."
00:05:43.214 --> 00:05:45.384
What I hope to instill in my children is like
00:05:45.384 --> 00:05:47.444
"hey, no matter who you are, who you love,
00:05:47.444 --> 00:05:49.584
I'm not gonna be like my mom" where she's like
00:05:49.584 --> 00:05:52.898
"no, you have to be this perfect inside-of-a-box person."
00:05:52.898 --> 00:05:55.418
Personally, I've gone through the same thing,
00:05:55.418 --> 00:05:57.624
but now, I know that
00:05:57.624 --> 00:05:59.091
I can
00:05:59.091 --> 00:06:01.041
tell them absolutely anything.
00:06:01.041 --> 00:06:02.642
When I first started telling my parents
00:06:02.642 --> 00:06:04.302
that I was having sex
00:06:04.302 --> 00:06:06.022
I was never met with
00:06:06.022 --> 00:06:08.042
"That's horrible, you need to stop,
00:06:08.042 --> 00:06:09.766
you're not a good person", none of that.
00:06:09.766 --> 00:06:11.256
The first response was always:
00:06:11.256 --> 00:06:13.546
"Thank you for telling us, let's (you know)
00:06:13.546 --> 00:06:15.156
provide protection."
00:06:15.156 --> 00:06:16.406
Just in that scenario,
00:06:16.406 --> 00:06:18.886
I knew that I could be honest with my parents
00:06:18.886 --> 00:06:21.006
in abolutely anything moving forward,
00:06:21.006 --> 00:06:24.016
but it was hard to tell them that.
00:06:26.146 --> 00:06:29.246
As and adult, as a wife and a parent,
00:06:29.249 --> 00:06:33.489
the truth was always the best 'weapon'
00:06:33.489 --> 00:06:36.269
for lack of a better word,
00:06:36.269 --> 00:06:37.996
to lead with.
00:06:37.996 --> 00:06:41.568
Because it cut down on hurt, it cut down on pain,
00:06:41.568 --> 00:06:43.726
it cut down on frustration...
00:06:43.726 --> 00:06:45.560
And have I always been honest?
00:06:45.560 --> 00:06:47.760
'Course not, I'm human.
00:06:47.760 --> 00:06:49.470
I like to think I've been honest about
00:06:49.470 --> 00:06:51.183
the stuff that was important.
00:06:51.183 --> 00:06:53.236
But I've learnt that honesty is in fact,
00:06:53.236 --> 00:06:57.006
the best policy, is just easier all around for me.
00:06:58.201 --> 00:07:02.191
"Social media can be very positive."
00:07:09.668 --> 00:07:11.255
I honestly think that social media
00:07:11.255 --> 00:07:13.085
and the Internet in general
00:07:13.085 --> 00:07:15.010
has probably been one of,
00:07:15.010 --> 00:07:17.444
if not the best thing in my life.
00:07:17.444 --> 00:07:19.396
Having known like, queer role models,
00:07:19.396 --> 00:07:22.214
seeing known artistic expression around me
00:07:22.214 --> 00:07:24.427
in the real world where I am,
00:07:24.427 --> 00:07:26.916
but discovering all that through the Internet.
00:07:26.916 --> 00:07:28.460
I would not have found out I was asexual
00:07:28.460 --> 00:07:29.443
without the Internet.
00:07:29.443 --> 00:07:31.751
I would not have known what asexuality was,
00:07:31.751 --> 00:07:34.435
I would not have even known that was a word.
00:07:34.435 --> 00:07:36.465
Because, at least in school, and at home,
00:07:36.465 --> 00:07:38.824
we never talked about this.
00:07:38.824 --> 00:07:40.454
I was like a little bit like, okay, is it
00:07:40.454 --> 00:07:41.472
more positive than negative,
00:07:41.472 --> 00:07:44.366
but I think I'm gonna use like, to my own testimony,
00:07:44.366 --> 00:07:45.868
like, how's been for me.
00:07:45.868 --> 00:07:47.842
I started a social media page
00:07:47.842 --> 00:07:50.493
under the alias Conservative.Latino.
00:07:50.493 --> 00:07:51.780
I get a lot of hate mail,
00:07:51.780 --> 00:07:54.372
and I get a lot of people call me a race treator.
00:07:54.372 --> 00:07:56.352
Calling me, you know, a fake this, a fake that,
00:07:56.352 --> 00:07:59.752
they call me names, they wish death upon my family and my children.
00:07:59.752 --> 00:08:01.360
And I see a lot of the profiles don't even have pictures,
00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:05.660
and then I go to their profiles: 0 followers, 0 posts,
00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:07.365
0 nothing and I'm just like, man, these people rea(..)
00:08:07.365 --> 00:08:08.435
You just signed here to hate!
00:08:08.435 --> 00:08:09.045
Yeah! Exactly.
00:08:09.045 --> 00:08:11.704
Some of them aren't even people, they're bots.
00:08:11.704 --> 00:08:13.647
Um, I used to play video games and,
00:08:13.647 --> 00:08:16.675
at some point, I actually decided to use my voice
00:08:16.675 --> 00:08:18.961
in a videogame. And I am a female,
00:08:18.961 --> 00:08:20.520
in a, in the video game comunity,
00:08:20.520 --> 00:08:23.820
and there's a lot of masculine toxicity.
00:08:23.820 --> 00:08:25.933
Every single day guys would hit on me.
00:08:25.933 --> 00:08:29.263
I was 15 years old and these guys were like 20, 30s
00:08:29.263 --> 00:08:31.884
They would like, gift me games as to let me out,
00:08:31.884 --> 00:08:34.437
And usually it was fine, I can be always be like "No"
00:08:34.437 --> 00:08:35.998
And most of them were respectful,
00:08:35.998 --> 00:08:37.200
Sometimes they would escalate,
00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.023
they would threaten to find out where I lived,
00:08:39.023 --> 00:08:40.912
they would threaten to rape me.
00:08:40.912 --> 00:08:42.877
The point that I realized I had to, like,
00:08:42.877 --> 00:08:45.229
get away from all this is when someone threatened
00:08:45.229 --> 00:08:47.272
to rape me and I actually got scared.
00:08:47.272 --> 00:08:48.998
Yeah, and this is ex.. I mean...
00:08:48.998 --> 00:08:51.495
Couldn't be a better illustration of
00:08:51.495 --> 00:08:52.526
a parents worst nightmare
00:08:52.526 --> 00:08:54.946
when it comes to social media. Right?
00:08:54.946 --> 00:08:57.108
And how quickly it can escalate
00:08:57.108 --> 00:08:58.941
and especially like you were 15,
00:08:58.941 --> 00:08:59.919
which is pretty young,
00:08:59.919 --> 00:09:01.774
but there are kids, boys and girls,
00:09:01.774 --> 00:09:04.243
this is happening to, when they're...
00:09:04.243 --> 00:09:07.408
8, 9, 10 they have no idea how to handle it,
00:09:07.408 --> 00:09:09.437
they don't know how to even talk to their parents about it.
00:09:09.437 --> 00:09:12.140
Because they innately feel that there's something off,
00:09:12.140 --> 00:09:14.393
but they also feel like they could get in trouble
00:09:14.393 --> 00:09:15.477
if they bring it to their parents.
00:09:15.477 --> 00:09:17.297
And I'll be honest, like, my daughter
00:09:17.297 --> 00:09:18.917
has been asking me since she was like 6
00:09:18.917 --> 00:09:21.070
"Can I please start a YouTube Channel"
00:09:21.070 --> 00:09:23.092
Can I, like that's been her dream,
00:09:23.092 --> 00:09:24.324
but I go on these articles,
00:09:24.324 --> 00:09:27.074
and I'm hearing about like, all these online bullying,
00:09:27.080 --> 00:09:29.750
and especially with females, I feel it's
00:09:29.750 --> 00:09:33.701
a larger thing because.. I was like a youth pastor
00:09:33.701 --> 00:09:36.110
for my old church, and a lot of them would tell me
00:09:36.110 --> 00:09:38.918
that if they're on social media they would be receiving
00:09:38.918 --> 00:09:41.905
elicit pictures from grown adults! So,
00:09:41.905 --> 00:09:44.080
I'm like scared, I'm terrified but at the same time
00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:46.351
I feel like I'm almost punishing my daughter.
00:09:46.351 --> 00:09:49.248
When she does start to explore that,
00:09:49.248 --> 00:09:50.697
I would say don't take it away,
00:09:50.697 --> 00:09:51.965
because that's gonna make her angry,
00:09:51.965 --> 00:09:53.966
and she's gonna find a way to go on it anyways.
00:09:53.966 --> 00:09:56.584
'Cause there's so many access points for social media.
00:09:56.584 --> 00:09:59.249
Yeah, that's why I like, I'm just very like, concerned
00:09:59.249 --> 00:10:02.452
as a social media influencer I see what I get in my DMs,
00:10:02.452 --> 00:10:05.251
and I see the type of content that people leave on mine,
00:10:05.251 --> 00:10:06.475
and I would never want..cuz..
00:10:06.475 --> 00:10:07.713
It's probably part of why she wants to do it,
00:10:07.713 --> 00:10:11.223
'cause she sees her dad doing it, so you're modeling it.
00:10:11.223 --> 00:10:12.712
You know, I mean the kids wanna do
00:10:12.712 --> 00:10:15.466
what they see their parents doing often.
00:10:15.466 --> 00:10:21.186
[Asking the real questions here]
00:10:22.464 --> 00:10:23.827
YYyYeEeEesSSS!!¡¡
00:10:23.827 --> 00:10:27.846
I see more texting while driving in the parents generations.
00:10:27.846 --> 00:10:29.031
They don't know about that technology they're like
00:10:29.031 --> 00:10:30.744
"Oh, I'm just gonna check this really quick"
00:10:30.744 --> 00:10:32.812
And that's what causes a lot of accidents.
00:10:32.812 --> 00:10:37.238
My dad has a velcro patch on his steering wheel
00:10:37.238 --> 00:10:38.406
In his steering wheel?
00:10:38.406 --> 00:10:39.899
Yeah, on the steering wheel I'm DEAD serious
00:10:39.899 --> 00:10:41.062
it's reallyl.. it's really bad.
00:10:41.062 --> 00:10:43.787
He doesn't understand that you can leave people
00:10:43.787 --> 00:10:45.667
on read. Like you don't have to respond
00:10:45.667 --> 00:10:49.557
to people in the moment. If my parents text...
00:10:49.557 --> 00:10:52.399
I just feel like I need to reply right then and there (yeah)
00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:53.571
Just like "No!" Maybe is like and OCD thing.
00:10:53.571 --> 00:10:55.793
The parent generation does, for sure.
00:10:55.793 --> 00:10:58.033
More than, i, I see it all the time.
00:11:00.005 --> 00:11:04.115
"I wish my parents listened to me more"
00:11:11.686 --> 00:11:14.130
There definitely are times that I remember growing up
00:11:14.130 --> 00:11:16.225
and even now as an adult where I felt like
00:11:16.225 --> 00:11:18.158
when my mom and I talk about things
00:11:18.158 --> 00:11:19.706
that she sometimes doesn't hear really.
00:11:19.706 --> 00:11:21.258
Like I have to say something like
00:11:21.258 --> 00:11:23.808
over and over and over and go back to it
00:11:23.808 --> 00:11:27.157
and it's really hard for her sometimes to hear
00:11:27.157 --> 00:11:29.832
something because is not what she wants to hear.
00:11:29.832 --> 00:11:32.922
I have to say my father. He's... what we called "the weekend dad"
00:11:32.922 --> 00:11:34.646
'cause that's when we can go and visit him,
00:11:34.646 --> 00:11:37.031
t'was every other weekend.
00:11:37.031 --> 00:11:41.089
And growing up he sat infront of the TV the entire time.
00:11:41.089 --> 00:11:42.377
And, he wasn't a good listener,
00:11:42.377 --> 00:11:45.371
he wasn't someone that I ever felt that I could come to
00:11:45.371 --> 00:11:45.853
for anything, really.
00:11:45.853 --> 00:11:48.190
And he just feels that the world owes him everything.
00:11:48.190 --> 00:11:51.476
Sometimes he would call me, literally as I'm in class
00:11:51.476 --> 00:11:53.318
and I would text him and be like
00:11:53.318 --> 00:11:54.601
"Hey I can't talk right now" but he'd say
00:11:54.601 --> 00:11:57.571
"How come you so busy, how come you never have time for me!"
00:11:57.571 --> 00:11:58.988
It just got to the point where
00:11:58.988 --> 00:12:00.966
he was making me feel like complete garbage,
00:12:00.966 --> 00:12:02.806
and he would say hateful things to me.
00:12:02.806 --> 00:12:04.156
And I was like "You know what?
00:12:04.156 --> 00:12:04.815
Out of all your children,
00:12:04.815 --> 00:12:07.055
I'm the only one that still talks to you
00:12:07.055 --> 00:12:09.196
and I am trying to do the best that I can."
00:12:09.196 --> 00:12:12.446
And no matter what, it was just never good enough for him.
00:12:14.268 --> 00:12:17.723
I feel so fortunate to have the parents that I do.
00:12:17.723 --> 00:12:20.060
And any time I approach them with a problem,
00:12:20.060 --> 00:12:22.719
I am heard, I am supported, and..
00:12:22.719 --> 00:12:25.219
usually hugged. [THAT'S SO CUTE] So,
00:12:25.219 --> 00:12:28.569
I.. growing up, I had so many people think that
00:12:28.569 --> 00:12:31.569
I was missing out on something 'cause I didn't have a mom,
00:12:31.569 --> 00:12:34.093
and that I wouldn't be able to learn about, like
00:12:34.093 --> 00:12:35.203
what it is to be a woman,
00:12:35.203 --> 00:12:38.406
or what it is to, y'know, have your period or whatnot.
00:12:38.406 --> 00:12:40.397
I had so many people approaching and be like
00:12:40.397 --> 00:12:43.181
"Oh, I know you're missing a mother but
00:12:43.181 --> 00:12:44.878
I'm always here if you wanna talk!"
00:12:44.878 --> 00:12:46.620
And I'm like "No! I can talk to my parents about that"
00:12:46.620 --> 00:12:47.772
One of the biggest things I believe in is:
00:12:47.772 --> 00:12:49.848
you don't need a mother, you don't need a father,
00:12:49.848 --> 00:12:50.929
you need a parent.
00:12:50.929 --> 00:12:52.598
My mother, um
00:12:52.598 --> 00:12:54.409
was also a single parent.
00:12:54.409 --> 00:12:57.026
She worked sometimes two jobs,
00:12:57.026 --> 00:13:00.118
but she was never too busy to talk to me.
00:13:00.118 --> 00:13:02.261
She was dead tyred sometimes!
00:13:02.261 --> 00:13:04.632
So what we did was, every Saturday
00:13:04.632 --> 00:13:05.388
we would hang out.
00:13:05.388 --> 00:13:07.272
We would, um, clean the house first,
00:13:07.272 --> 00:13:12.892
get dressed, get lunch, and that was our time to talk.
00:13:12.892 --> 00:13:17.217
Whatever was on my mind, that was a good time to bring it up.
00:13:17.217 --> 00:13:19.360
So, it let me know that I could talk to her.
00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:21.621
And that's what I've done with David,
00:13:21.621 --> 00:13:22.596
every Saturday we had David's day,
00:13:22.596 --> 00:13:24.466
when he was growing up.
00:13:24.466 --> 00:13:27.043
So, if he wanted to eat McDonald's three times a day
00:13:27.043 --> 00:13:30.723
um, we tried to convince him for dinner to something else
00:13:30.723 --> 00:13:33.253
but you get my point,
00:13:33.253 --> 00:13:36.346
that it allowed him to speak freely.
00:13:36.346 --> 00:13:40.339
It's important that we continue to encourage one another.
00:13:40.339 --> 00:13:41.682
Because you will keep us young,
00:13:41.682 --> 00:13:44.898
and we will be able to put some wisdom on you.
00:13:44.898 --> 00:13:48.342
You know, and hopefully we will listen to each other.
00:13:48.342 --> 00:13:51.740
I think if everybody can just have moments
00:13:51.740 --> 00:13:54.823
where they just tell their parents that they love them,
00:13:54.823 --> 00:13:58.663
in an honest conversation, a supportive conversation from both sides.
00:13:58.663 --> 00:14:01.513
I think that we need more of that.
00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.314
Thanks so much for joining, guys
00:14:10.314 --> 00:14:13.271
we really loved revisiting this, uh, topic.
00:14:13.271 --> 00:14:14.004
Yeah, it makes you just wonder like
00:14:14.004 --> 00:14:15.573
how, you know, we were like as teenagers,
00:14:15.573 --> 00:14:17.593
and our parents, right? (Don't remind me)
00:14:17.593 --> 00:14:18.912
We are trying to revamp? Middle Ground.
00:14:18.912 --> 00:14:22.079
If you guys have ideas of how to revamp? let us know,
00:14:22.079 --> 00:14:24.152
DM us, email us, comment below,
00:14:24.152 --> 00:14:26.566
and we love to hear from you guys all the time.
00:14:26.566 --> 00:14:30.606
As usual, thanks for watching, and we'll see you guys around.