Mister President of the Republic Good morning I am now sending you letter #186 and I am very hopeful that you will read it I am Hassan Salaheddine Zidane The Egyptian young man that suffers from oppression, and maltreatment from everyone around People don't like me Sometimes they even curse at me in my face because of my intelligence because of my geniality but I never respond and I never will respond I don't have time for that I can't leave my project that will save a lot of money to the country, and waste my time responding to people that curse at me What a waste of time! Let them curse and let them oppress and about the project, I wanted to let you know that I am still working hard on it I will never become desperate and I will never sell my project and hard-work to any country in the world and I wanted to remind you about the investment, I hope it's ready before I finish so we can save more time for everyone Call me as soon as possible Mister President This is really important and if my cell phone turns out to be dead, you have my home number Goodbye mister President Is this him? Already? Yes of course! The President wakes up early Hello? Hello Who's this? Mister President? What President you fool? You again? Yes and again and again... I know you very well by the way and if you think that you can steal something that is not yours, then you're wrong No donkey, I dont want to steal from you Then what do you want? I want to mock you You're a loser you're a looooser I'm a loser? You're a loser. You son of... You're an insignificant son of a ... You worthless son of a ... Show me now how you're going to curse You're deleting my curse? Yes! good boy; you donkey Good morning Good morning Sir How's the world? The world is upside-down Yes! Now it'll be normal (the car of the donkey) Hurry-up everyone, stop molesting the engine What brings him too? Good morning guys How are you doing? great I am letting you all know, my wedding's next month whoever doesn't come will be executed Hey why do you seem upset? did I say something? no, not at all. Why? Well you stopped calling me and asking about me like before. Aren't we friends anymore? No I've just been here. And you've been there. We're not in the same place anymore Yes but at the same airport I'll be waiting for you, ok? ok Don't be late ok bye bye everyone bye who are you waving to? Hurry up He's not your fiancee, to wave at ok Engineer Hassan Yes Sir Good morning Sir Good morning Hassan Why did you come to work on your vacation day? I swear I forgot I was on vacation you forgot? Listen Hassan I don't like your conditions these days why Sir? Did I do something wrong at work? I'm not going to wait for you to do something wrong What I know is, when you come all the way here and then discover that you're on vacation, the natural thing to do is to go back home Not to jump at work, and start yelling at your co-workers jump? Listen Hassan Our job is very sensitive because it's related to people's lives The error bar is 0% I'm going to give you a week of vacation so you can relax But I don't want a vacation Sir I know that you love work But for your work to be good, your mental state of mind must be relaxed You may leave now Hahaha I want to park You want to park? you're coming now? and you want to park now? Am i supposed to come 2 days before to park? Yes Why not? Please let me park, right there Can you remove that barrel? What's wrong with you? Don't you know that it's the embassy's barrel? It's not a diplomat's barrel Yes it is indeed, a diplomat's barrel It's a respected barrel Well can you find me any other empty barrel? Come this way, very nice job come in, more to the right I didn't know to the right by myself How am I supposed to get out now? Not all people have the same intelligence skills. You should've gotten out of the car, then parked How do I get out? Damn him yes? Don't you have 2 cameras on your phone? Yes? and? You can use the front camera as a mirror instead of the knife I do that very often No way! You're so smart It's none of your business I was doing you a favor I don't want any favors you can leave, bye Mom, I want to buy a motorcycle No dear, you can't you're still little wait until you grow older Mom I want to buy a motorcycle you can't, it's dangerous Mom, I want to buy a motorcycle I told you a hundred times NO Sir Dude you scared me No when you saw me you got scared You saw me getting scared so you scare me again? sorry What do you want? I want to tell you that the store is closed No way It's closed? I can't believe it, I don't know what I would've done without you You're a guard Your job is that when you see someone standing like me, you should say "How can I help you Sir?" "Sure Sir anytime" one of these things "Get out of here you animal" What time does it open? 10 am you animal Sorry? 10 o'clock Oh 10 o'clock ok bye bye Good evening Mom Hi Hassan, you're back dear? No not yet; Do you need anything before I'm back? I'm clearly standing here Ok Hassan, keep making fun of your Mom, go ahead What's all these clothes? Are you running away? I'm going to shower Do you need the bathroom? No I'm going to sit in the balcony for a bit Can you close the balcony's door when you're done? In the morning, the flies come in when you leave the door open in the morning? I thought we're going to see each other after the shower Stop joking Hassan And if you want to wash something, leave it in the laundry, we're doing it tomorrow No I don't have anything at all Wait. What time should I wake you up tomorrow? I'll write on a note what time I want to be woken up Please Hassan, put that note in a visible place Don't hide it and get mad I already have enough problems Ok very well i memorized all the commands ok I will close the balcony door because we're doing laundry tomorrow and I will put the clothes in the laundry basket so the flies don't come in And I will write a clean note, because you already have enough problems You're horrible, with your round cheeks Go away Hassan I swear I won't do anything you just said Go away you're here? no there! ok where are you going? Since you're there, why would i sit here and what do i do by myself? I haven't seen you for 3 days, but you got scared this time, right? No I didn't, you're in the usual spot you should've hidden here Welcome back home, Captain Thanks dear where are you going? I'm going to make coffee No no no, not for me why not? I just came back from the trip and I feel tired I want to be able to sleep a little ok I spoke to the girl I like Really? Finally! what happened? embarassment as usual she thought I was flirting with her you're such an idiot I told you to be smart It's even better when she comes to you Then you become a leader I'm always a leader, but it's impossible for her to come towards me impossible impossible is nothing what's her name? I don't know how old is she? I don't know either where does she work? I don't know yes it does seem very impossible Use your brain son try again ok ok but if you think of something tell me I'm like your brother I 'll see you're going to sleep? No I'm going to sit in the balcony and eat until I feel tired then go to sleep ok don't forget to close the balcony's door so Mom doesn't yell at you Shut up I know she does Medhat get me coffee with extra sugar please Yes but you always order no sugar No I decided to change I will be a leader and she will come to me on her feet like a dog did you understand anything? no idiot idiot sorry? idiot Thank you Sir and may you go to hell, along with all the other donkeys like you What did you say Medhat? I said may you become rich, along with the other princes like you Are you staying? or getting the hell out? did you day? Are you staying sweetie or the cofffee will boil? you started understanding me Sir you can knock yourself on any seat here? here? knock yourself wherever you like extra sugar Sir? No Yes Extra Extra because I will change sure Hey Jiji what did you do? Impossible! Try to find me any information about that thief his address or phone number I spent 15000 pounds on the decoration from my own money His name is Emad Hanafi Mahmoud Essamanoudi yes Emad Hanafi Mahmoud Essamanoudi Hello? Who should I tell him? Tell him Emad Hanafi Mahmoud Sure one second from there from there tell me from there Engineer Hassan Yes? There's a phone call for you Who is it? Somebody called Emad Hanafi Mahmoud who? Emad Hanafi Mahmoud Hello Emad Hanafi Mahmoud talking to me in person? Where have you been Bobby? I miss you so much Why did you change you phone number without letting me know? Tell me your new number, I'll memorize it nice number nice new car? you bought a new car? Good you're paying 15000 pounds? who did you steal from this time? You're a big thief Congratulations of course! we'll drive around and pretend to be american and everything you like yeah! easy money ok babe bye bye Bobby Sir Can I have a minute? Me? yes sure you seem very familiar have I seen you before? Yes i always sit inside here? yes here you sit here? yes i don't remember at all I think my memory is probably playing tricks on me anyways, what did you want to say? I am the idiot that your friend just stole money from and are going to hang out with ok you're an idiot. What do you want from me? you're right, can i have his cell phone number? you want his phone number? yes I can't he just got a new number is it going to get dirty if you give it to me? I can't, it's not a matter of getting dirty Go away. What are you looking at? look in front of you Are you crazy? why are people so weird? I'm sorry I honestly won't be able to give you Emad's number But I can maybe ask him of course he won't agree What am I supposed to do then? please, I dont have time, don't make me nervous I'm sorry Sir ok I have another solution You give me your number, and I will tell him and if, if he agrees, which is not certain, you shouldn't be hopeful, then I will call you and will give it to you But when should I call you? I don't know. I'm always busy No don't bother going through all that trouble, you give me your number and I will call you ok ok Damn it Jiji, you should've hung up instead of charging me all these minutes on the phone call Give me your phone, I'll save it for you because I don't like to tell anyone my number also in case you don't know how to use a phone here you go What's your name? Farida ok I'll wait for your call what was your name again? Tafida? No Farida ok ok Farida Save my number for when I call you Hassan H A S S A N yes N, you know it? yes ok bye