0:00:11.342,0:00:15.003
I'm here to speak[br]about the elephant in the room.

0:00:15.663,0:00:20.873
I know, but it's there for all of us,[br]in one form or another.

0:00:21.825,0:00:28.055
It's this dissatisfaction and unhappiness[br]with what we have in our lives.

0:00:28.854,0:00:33.846
Maybe if you're here or watching this,[br]you have all the basics covered -

0:00:34.624,0:00:37.616
food, water, safety, shelter.

0:00:38.877,0:00:42.077
But somehow, we long for something more.

0:00:43.647,0:00:48.037
As a psychologist, I've really seen[br]how we all want to be happy,

0:00:48.037,0:00:50.557
but keep chasing it in the future.

0:00:51.247,0:00:54.335
And I know that myself, really well,

0:00:54.776,0:00:57.416
because I had everything in life.

0:00:58.696,0:01:01.700
I had loving support, education, career,

0:01:01.840,0:01:03.597
but it wasn't enough,[br]

0:01:04.147,0:01:07.167
and that really frustrated me.

0:01:07.857,0:01:12.387
Eventually, I discovered[br]the real, obvious reason.

0:01:12.387,0:01:13.876
It's really obvious.

0:01:13.876,0:01:15.578
It's our mind.

0:01:16.498,0:01:20.727
It really gets distracted[br]and lost in negatives,

0:01:20.727,0:01:23.728
and has a difficult time being right here

0:01:23.728,0:01:25.787
in the present moment.

0:01:26.915,0:01:31.788
What helped me see that so clearly[br]was mindfulness meditation.

0:01:32.874,0:01:35.848
I came across it[br]in the research in my field,

0:01:35.848,0:01:38.899
and started using it with clients.

0:01:39.468,0:01:42.159
And that took me on a personal journey,

0:01:42.889,0:01:47.514
which eventually led me[br]to this ridiculous gut feeling

0:01:47.514,0:01:49.218
of what I had to do,

0:01:49.218,0:01:52.228
which was drop everything in my life

0:01:52.798,0:01:56.737
and go to a six-month meditation retreat

0:01:56.737,0:02:00.060
in Southeast Asia, in a forest monastery,

0:02:00.449,0:02:01.849
in silence.

0:02:04.757,0:02:09.921
I tell you, it was the most difficult,[br]unpleasant, painful six months of my life.

0:02:09.921,0:02:11.610
(Laughter)

0:02:13.451,0:02:18.421
But it really taught me profound lessons[br]that have inspired me to be here today.

0:02:19.471,0:02:23.752
So I'm here to really share with you[br]my personal insights

0:02:23.752,0:02:27.753
and professional understanding[br]of mindfulness meditation

0:02:28.013,0:02:32.944
with the hope that you give it a chance,[br]so you can see for yourself

0:02:32.944,0:02:37.773
how it can redefine the way[br]we approach happiness,

0:02:37.773,0:02:39.353
satisfaction,

0:02:39.353,0:02:42.215
and reduce the suffering in our lives

0:02:42.215,0:02:44.620
from the pain that's already there.

0:02:45.765,0:02:49.004
Okay, so back to some[br]not-so-good news about our mind:

0:02:49.816,0:02:53.096
it has the tendency for a negativity bias,

0:02:53.636,0:02:59.425
or evolutionary psychologists[br]refer to it as a survival mechanism.

0:02:59.425,0:03:02.447
So, if there's a bunny in the bushes,

0:03:02.827,0:03:03.947
and there are sounds,

0:03:03.947,0:03:09.158
our mind is ready with a stress response,[br]for a flight-or-fight response -

0:03:09.158,0:03:10.702
I did it backwards actually -

0:03:10.702,0:03:12.438
(Laughter)

0:03:12.438,0:03:14.288
fight-or-flight response.

0:03:16.079,0:03:19.508
Even if there's just a bunny,[br]we're getting ready for a tiger.

0:03:20.599,0:03:23.690
And neuro-psychologists refer to that

0:03:23.690,0:03:26.731
as our brain being[br]like Velcro to the negatives.

0:03:26.731,0:03:27.731
(Thoop)

0:03:27.731,0:03:30.150
Latches on to negatives.

0:03:30.150,0:03:32.960
Anyone familiar with that?[br]Just hang on.

0:03:32.960,0:03:36.798
And being like Teflon fabric[br]to the positives.

0:03:36.798,0:03:37.798
(Whoosh)

0:03:37.798,0:03:40.241
Letting them all slip away.

0:03:40.241,0:03:42.871
Okay, so it's not all bad news.

0:03:43.730,0:03:46.522
With the advances in neuroscience,

0:03:46.522,0:03:52.070
mindfulness meditation has been shown[br]to change the structure of our brain.

0:03:53.141,0:03:56.961
And you don't have to do a six-month[br]retreat in a [forest monastery].

0:03:56.961,0:03:58.500
That's the good news.

0:03:59.010,0:04:01.992
Even in eight weeks[br]in mindfulness programs,

0:04:01.992,0:04:04.760
practicing 40-45 minutes a day,

0:04:04.760,0:04:09.712
we can improve concentration,[br]decision-making, compassion,

0:04:09.842,0:04:12.572
and, life satisfaction.

0:04:13.361,0:04:16.992
So, what exactly[br]is mindfulness meditation?

0:04:17.462,0:04:19.992
It's one form of meditation,

0:04:19.992,0:04:23.907
and basically it's training[br]the brain to be present.

0:04:25.061,0:04:29.322
It's based on thousands of years[br]of wisdom tradition in Asia.

0:04:30.001,0:04:35.262
And how we do it, one way,[br]is we place our attention on the belly,

0:04:35.262,0:04:36.974
to watch our breath.

0:04:37.522,0:04:40.872
But we do that in a particular way,

0:04:41.082,0:04:45.472
or as Jon Kabat-Zinn,[br]who brought mindfulness to medicine,

0:04:45.472,0:04:47.311
which is quite big, actually,

0:04:48.011,0:04:49.501
he defines it in four words:

0:04:49.501,0:04:54.743
we pay attention on purpose,[br]so with an intention.

0:04:55.149,0:04:56.779
And in the present moment,[br]

0:04:57.179,0:04:58.503
so, right now,

0:04:58.503,0:05:00.812
and the hardest part for all of us:

0:05:00.812,0:05:02.612
non-judgmentally.

0:05:02.612,0:05:03.842
Really tough.

0:05:03.842,0:05:08.082
So, let's say this is our attention.

0:05:08.082,0:05:10.893
We place it right on the belly.

0:05:10.893,0:05:13.124
Guess what's going[br]to happen with our mind?

0:05:13.124,0:05:14.693
(Whoo)

0:05:14.693,0:05:16.641
We're going to get distracted.

0:05:16.641,0:05:21.273
But, without pushing against the thoughts[br]or hating the thoughts,

0:05:21.273,0:05:24.205
or clinging onto them, good or bad,

0:05:24.205,0:05:26.544
[we bring it] right back.

0:05:27.094,0:05:29.474
Now, you can get[br]a sense of that if you like now,

0:05:29.474,0:05:30.847
if you'd like to join me,

0:05:30.847,0:05:33.835
by placing your hand on the belly,

0:05:34.536,0:05:37.685
and we're just going[br]to observe two breaths.

0:05:37.943,0:05:41.127
Natural inhale; natural exhale.

0:05:42.267,0:05:44.277
Even slightly.

0:05:44.277,0:05:45.628
Inhale...

0:05:45.628,0:05:47.088
exhale.

0:05:47.088,0:05:48.348
Inhale...

0:05:48.348,0:05:49.678
exhale.

0:05:49.678,0:05:54.808
Okay, now, when we do that,[br]and some of you maybe noticed that,

0:05:55.078,0:05:57.068
there will be thoughts,

0:05:57.068,0:05:58.188
emotions,

0:05:58.188,0:06:00.677
or sensations.

0:06:00.677,0:06:02.698
But we don't get lost in them.

0:06:02.698,0:06:04.798
We bring our attention back.

0:06:05.220,0:06:09.109
And every time we do that,[br]guess what we're doing to our brain?

0:06:10.199,0:06:14.428
We're strengthening the muscles[br]in the brain, every time.

0:06:14.428,0:06:16.878
It's a gym workout for the brain.

0:06:18.938,0:06:22.279
And in the process[br]of doing that, patiently -

0:06:22.279,0:06:24.349
I mean it takes a lot of patience -

0:06:24.349,0:06:26.229
and compassionately,

0:06:26.229,0:06:28.638
we learn to work with our mind,

0:06:28.638,0:06:31.658
and be present with whatever is here.

0:06:32.968,0:06:35.478
We don't have to like what's here.

0:06:35.478,0:06:39.439
When I first arrived[br]at the forest monastery,

0:06:39.439,0:06:45.898
I asked the monk, "Is it true there[br]are poisonous snakes on the compound?"

0:06:47.498,0:06:50.708
He said, "Yes, yes. Deadly. Deadly."

0:06:50.708,0:06:52.409
(Laughter)

0:06:53.284,0:06:57.009
"Just stay away from them.[br]Walk mindfully."

0:06:57.009,0:06:58.131
Great.

0:06:58.131,0:06:59.180
(Laughter)

0:06:59.180,0:07:01.049
"Use a flashlight at night."

0:07:01.049,0:07:02.471
And I love this one too:

0:07:02.471,0:07:05.259
"Check your meditation cushion[br]before you sit on it."

0:07:05.259,0:07:06.279
(Laughter)

0:07:06.279,0:07:08.552
I mean... I could have died.

0:07:08.552,0:07:10.960
That was, you know, a possibility.

0:07:10.960,0:07:13.452
But the best part, he said,

0:07:13.452,0:07:15.412
"Send them love."

0:07:15.412,0:07:17.389
(Laughter)

0:07:17.389,0:07:19.492
"They were here before us."

0:07:20.342,0:07:23.311
Okay, Mr. Monk,[br]I wasn't ready for that yet.

0:07:23.311,0:07:26.221
(Laughter)

0:07:26.221,0:07:30.353
But I did notice, even before[br]going to this long retreat,

0:07:30.723,0:07:34.022
I noticed some changes in my mind[br]and how I reacted,

0:07:34.022,0:07:35.955
just from daily meditation.

0:07:37.122,0:07:41.794
One day I was stuck in a traffic jam,[br]really early in the morning, 5:40,

0:07:41.794,0:07:44.593
on my way to the gym, and unexpected.

0:07:45.423,0:07:49.214
And, instead of the usual,[br]"Why aren't these people moving?",

0:07:49.214,0:07:51.454
get uptight, agitated,

0:07:51.454,0:07:52.963
and the mind going into

0:07:52.963,0:07:55.895
"This is going to be a horrible day.[br]I'm late for stuff,"

0:07:56.343,0:08:02.002
what surprised me is what I heard,[br]and I thought, "Oh, interesting."

0:08:02.002,0:08:05.804
The thought? "I hope no one's hurt."

0:08:06.164,0:08:07.834
Maybe there was an accident,

0:08:09.124,0:08:12.693
or maybe it's construction[br]and those workers were up all night,

0:08:13.103,0:08:15.512
and I started wishing them well.

0:08:15.992,0:08:17.991
"May they be safe today."

0:08:18.464,0:08:22.406
Now, I still was late,[br]so that didn't change,

0:08:22.406,0:08:26.115
but I didn't spiral[br]into the negativity of the mind.

0:08:26.115,0:08:31.544
And it really showed me,[br]"Wow, it was worth working that muscle,

0:08:31.544,0:08:33.314
and the daily practice."

0:08:35.794,0:08:39.385
So, let's put together[br]what I shared so far,

0:08:39.385,0:08:40.897
with a little illustration.

0:08:42.786,0:08:44.246
Imagine this is pain[br]

0:08:44.246,0:08:45.286
It could be anything.

0:08:45.286,0:08:47.286
Let's just say, stomach pain.

0:08:48.020,0:08:50.146
Signals travel to the brain.

0:08:50.916,0:08:56.027
If you magine this is our brain,[br]our mind, relatively calm.

0:08:57.437,0:09:00.028
We have now a signal of pain.

0:09:01.228,0:09:03.209
But it doesn't stop there.

0:09:03.209,0:09:05.819
We're not usually loving to it.

0:09:05.819,0:09:10.939
We hate it, and we get agitated,[br]and wish it wasn't there.

0:09:10.939,0:09:14.520
And then what we do, we let negativity

0:09:15.700,0:09:19.020
leak into the rest of our mind.

0:09:20.210,0:09:21.260
"Why me?"

0:09:21.260,0:09:22.869
"Why is this happening?"

0:09:22.869,0:09:24.140
And then?

0:09:24.559,0:09:29.045
We stir it all up with negativity.

0:09:30.371,0:09:32.192
"What kind of horrible thing this is."

0:09:32.192,0:09:33.212
We worry.

0:09:33.540,0:09:36.623
And instead of being[br]present with the pain?

0:09:37.773,0:09:41.354
We get taken for a ride in our mind.

0:09:46.542,0:09:48.363
I know that really well,

0:09:48.673,0:09:52.634
because I experienced that deeply[br]at this forest retreat.

0:09:53.304,0:09:59.753
You see, the honeymoon phase[br]of "Ahh, following my dream,

0:09:59.753,0:10:01.623
meditating for so long,"

0:10:01.623,0:10:03.363
(Laughter)

0:10:03.783,0:10:07.255
that ended after the first night.

0:10:07.255,0:10:09.324
(Laughter)

0:10:12.045,0:10:14.854
You know, everything[br]that brought me happiness,

0:10:14.854,0:10:16.785
or I thought brought me happiness,

0:10:16.785,0:10:19.686
was pulled from under my legs.

0:10:22.876,0:10:26.017
The people I love, there's no technology,

0:10:26.017,0:10:27.626
no social media,

0:10:27.626,0:10:28.966
no Internet,

0:10:29.876,0:10:32.336
just seclusion and deprivation.

0:10:32.706,0:10:36.807
And there was a wake-up call[br]in the morning,

0:10:36.807,0:10:38.536
3 a.m. every day.

0:10:38.849,0:10:43.486
But, it wasn't this nice chime of (Ding),

0:10:43.486,0:10:44.447
(Laughter)

0:10:44.447,0:10:45.757
"Good morning, Kasim."

0:10:45.757,0:10:49.616
No, it wasn't that, it was,[br](Boom, boom, boom)

0:10:49.616,0:10:50.937
every morning -

0:10:50.937,0:10:52.577
startling -

0:10:53.317,0:10:57.317
which would begin our 13-14 hours[br]of daily meditation.

0:10:57.597,0:11:00.297
In the heat with the lovely insects,

0:11:00.297,0:11:02.558
scorpions, yeah, scorpions.

0:11:02.558,0:11:05.147
Actually, someone got stung by one

0:11:05.147,0:11:07.629
as they sat on their cushion[br]when I was there, so...

0:11:07.629,0:11:08.499
(Laughter)

0:11:08.499,0:11:13.710
And sleeping on this lovely wooden bed[br]with just a little bit of foam.

0:11:14.799,0:11:16.554
Daily hunger.

0:11:17.154,0:11:20.331
Because last meal of the day? Guess what?

0:11:20.331,0:11:21.910
Lunch.

0:11:21.910,0:11:23.127
And when?

0:11:23.127,0:11:25.331
10:30 in the morning.

0:11:25.331,0:11:26.571
(Laughter)

0:11:26.571,0:11:28.222
That was the reality.

0:11:28.672,0:11:32.972
So whenever my mind[br]got stirred up in any of that pain,

0:11:32.972,0:11:35.073
it was crushing.

0:11:35.492,0:11:37.243
I felt trapped.

0:11:37.563,0:11:41.352
I actually woke up one night[br]screaming from it all.

0:11:46.012,0:11:50.694
I really saw how when we begin[br]to fight and resist our reality,

0:11:50.694,0:11:52.516
it gets worse.

0:11:54.635,0:11:57.514
Things began to change for me when

0:11:59.274,0:12:03.284
I just started to look at pain as pain,

0:12:03.794,0:12:09.604
and saw so clearly that it was my mind[br]that was creating the suffering,

0:12:09.604,0:12:11.184
which is optional.

0:12:11.524,0:12:12.685
Wow.

0:12:13.495,0:12:15.915
All I have to do is just[br]be in this moment.

0:12:17.065,0:12:20.745
And mindfulness showed me[br]we can be in the eye of the storm.

0:12:21.738,0:12:25.226
Watch it all pass, moment by moment.

0:12:25.976,0:12:30.137
And there is such freedom[br]in trusting impermanence in that way.

0:12:31.217,0:12:36.916
And then, really holding our pain[br]with great compassion.

0:12:37.946,0:12:39.986
Because it's painful already.

0:12:40.299,0:12:43.287
You don't need to hate it more;[br]just be with it.

0:12:46.909,0:12:51.418
You know, there's[br]a psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl,

0:12:51.418,0:12:55.658
and he said, "Choice[br]is the last human freedom."

0:12:56.148,0:12:57.188
Choice.

0:12:58.408,0:13:01.077
I learned that using[br]mindfulness is a choice.

0:13:01.698,0:13:05.189
And even when all my freedoms[br]felt like they were taken away,

0:13:05.189,0:13:07.658
I experienced freedom right here.

0:13:08.589,0:13:11.938
And my biggest, biggest epiphany,

0:13:12.678,0:13:17.759
is happiness and satisfaction[br]is not in the distant future,

0:13:17.759,0:13:19.849
or when I go back home,

0:13:20.469,0:13:25.041
it's actually available[br]for all of us in every moment.

0:13:26.579,0:13:30.681
It blooms naturally[br]from a state of mind that's calm,

0:13:31.091,0:13:32.620
not agitated,

0:13:33.070,0:13:34.363
and peaceful.

0:13:38.352,0:13:40.171
So I want to leave you with this... -

0:13:41.720,0:13:43.384
Oh, that was me there -

0:13:43.384,0:13:44.600
(Laughter)

0:13:44.600,0:13:50.151
I want to leave you with this acronym[br]that captures some of my learning,

0:13:50.151,0:13:55.711
and I hope you use it when you find[br]yourself lost in any kind of suffering.

0:13:59.152,0:14:00.631
And it's LOST.

0:14:00.983,0:14:02.982
The first letter: L.

0:14:02.982,0:14:06.712
Just know you are lost[br]in suffering and thoughts.

0:14:06.712,0:14:09.150
Come back to the present moment.

0:14:12.551,0:14:15.351
O: Offer loving kindness.

0:14:15.632,0:14:20.312
You don't have to like the pain;[br]just hold it with compassion.

0:14:23.451,0:14:25.052
See and smile.

0:14:25.052,0:14:26.493
See pain as pain,

0:14:26.493,0:14:28.484
or, joy as joy,

0:14:28.484,0:14:31.665
without the added agitation of the mind.

0:14:31.955,0:14:35.334
And smile knowing you just did that.

0:14:37.334,0:14:42.754
And T for take a deep breath,[br]knowing you are not alone;

0:14:42.754,0:14:45.644
we are all dealing[br]with the condition of the mind.

0:14:46.684,0:14:51.074
So I invite you to join me[br]in taking a deep breath into the nose.

0:14:51.074,0:14:53.284
(Inhales)

0:14:53.284,0:14:55.107
And exhale.

0:14:55.107,0:14:56.994
(Exhales)

0:14:57.804,0:15:03.964
So to sum up: if we don't retrain[br]the brain, it can cause added pain,

0:15:04.824,0:15:08.194
and the training can begin[br]with mindfulness meditation.

0:15:08.934,0:15:10.974
It's not a quick fix

0:15:10.974,0:15:12.656
with magical results,

0:15:13.005,0:15:16.485
nor is it going to make us immune[br]to the challenges in life.

0:15:16.875,0:15:23.246
But imagine, imagine if half of us[br]created a daily meditation practice

0:15:23.246,0:15:26.909
to be more present in life[br]with the good and the bad,

0:15:28.060,0:15:30.008
offer more compassion,

0:15:31.001,0:15:34.672
and feel more moments[br]of satisfaction and happiness,

0:15:34.970,0:15:39.981
and let that bloom naturally[br]from a state of mind that's more peaceful.

0:15:41.825,0:15:44.191
That's a recipe for positive change,

0:15:44.571,0:15:47.450
and it can start with you.

0:15:47.450,0:15:48.661
Thank you.

0:15:48.661,0:15:51.142
(Applause)