9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Welcome to "Inspiring People" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Today, we have Chloe Cohen, who is going to tell us the inspiring story 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of her struggle and how she has been dealing with Multiple Sclerosis for many years, now. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Chloe, you are on. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Chloe Cohen] Hi, everybody. My name is Chloe 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I've been living with Multiple Sclerosis for about 14 years, now. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was 20 years old when I was diagnosed and for me it was very quick - it was not - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Most people generally have symptoms and then slowly, more shit starts happening, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and then they are diagnosed. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But for me, I hit my head real hard, and that head trauma caused symptoms pretty much instantly. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Oh, it's not genetic? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] They don't know. They still don't know if it's genetic, environmental or anything. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So they're still trying to figure out that out. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But - Yeah, nobody in my family has it, but like, one of the girls that I know with MS, her sister has it, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and then, this other girl, her father has it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I don't know. I don't know if it's genetic or not. I don't think they know, but I will say this: 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 when I was diagnosed 14 years ago, there were 30 drugs available to slow down the progression of the disease. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Now, I think I should start by explaining what MS is. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And that's a neurological disease that affects the central nervous system, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 with a wide, wide, wide range of symptoms, from numbness and tingling 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to blindness in an eye, to the loss of the use of limbs, to chronic pain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And every single person with the illness is different, and how it affects them. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And there is no two people who deal with it in exactly the same way. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But before these drugs came out, there was no way to slow the progression of the illness. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So that's why there is such an older generation of people with MS in wheelchairs, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because they didn't have the benefits of these drugs that slow the progression, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because it is constantly flowing, you never know what's going to happen today, you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I've been now in remission for four years, and it's like a new life, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because for 9 years of my life, it was this up and down thing of what's going to happen tomorrow, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 what - is this symptom not going to be here tomorrow, or what's going to happen tomorrow? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I very much learned how to live [coughs] - excuse me - within the moment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 not worry about the future as much. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But it's only because I went through all that, that brought me to this for me (? - 3:12) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I'm definitely a lucky one. I was very disabled initially. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 When I hit my head, it basically just jarred everything loose that was loose . 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I probably had, you know, when I look back at my childhood before I even had MS, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I can recall things that happened during that, you know, that were like, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 my feet would go numb in the shower in high school. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I didn't even consider it, because they'd come back to life, you know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Only until I was diagnosed with MS did I go "Huh, maybe that was connected", you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But, you know, I don't know - I don't know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 In my theory, I've probably had this since I was born and it probably came up all through my life. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I didn't get that diagnosis untill I initially hit my head 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and had this like fast bang: I can't use my left side, it was all like I had that constant tremor, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I had vertigo, so it was like being wasted drunk all the time, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but you're not drunk, so you didn't get the benefit of the drunkenness [laughs], 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you just got the bad stuff (4:35) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [nterviewer] Did you suffer from it really bad, sometimes? (?) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] Luckily, it was only about, maybe, 6 months to a year, where it was really bad. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was lucky because as soon as they discovered that it was MS, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I got put on medication and really the only thing that they have, it was steroids and steroids 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to calm the inflammation or whatever that's happening. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So, getting on am oral dose of steroids relieved my trauma relatively 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I was on - about some other drugs, there is this drug called antivir, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I don't even know what the heck it is, but it was something like working out, straightening you out (?). 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So, I didn't have vertigo anymore. So, I give credits to the medical establishment 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 for having these drugs available, but never ... quite enough. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I found ...... to be one of the only things that relieved me from these constant annoyances. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 At least, it brought me to a more accepting place, I guess you could say, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 where it's like "OK, if I have to deal with this 24/7, then I can, you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 as much physically as the marihuana was doing, the cannabis was doing, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of calming my tremors and taking away my disconfort. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It was also bringing psychological relief that, you know what ? I can handle this and do it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And this is my life, and I'll move - and now, not worry about the future so much. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But my story really is important because, you know, within 20 minute, my life slipped . 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I had hit my head and I couldn't use my left side, and that was a challenge (?). 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This is what I was going to college for. I was going to study music, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was going to be a Michael Bark Band (?) ..................... (6:46) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's what I thought. But then what's, you know. Yeah, I had to reramp my life. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 My life, you know, and I was very angry for a very long time, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because I think anyone who've got their passion (?).... quickly (? /:07) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Anybody who has had any kind of instant loss knows, appreciates every little thing a little bit more, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because you know what it's like to lose it. (7:18) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and i think it took me a lot of therapy and a lot of, like, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 awsome conversation with people who get it, to be able to be at this point. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I did start a support group here, eight years ago, for younger people with MS, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because all the support groups were for old ........... people 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because they never got the benefit of the medication until, maybe, 15 years into their MS game 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and it has done - it has taken its toll already, so there is always so much - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 there is no repair of what 's been taken away. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You know - they're working on it, how to - figuring out ways to repair that myeline that's ..... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 First, when you have myeline - I left this major point out - you've lesions on your brain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So those lesions then form symptoms in whatever area of the brain they're covering. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yet - but the disease is the demyelinization of your nerves, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and that's what causes them to be set (?) on improperly, and things. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So when you have ........... nerves (8:45) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and the messages get screwed up. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But what I have learned after not walking, to be where I am at now, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 there is no way I could have done that without the concepts of neuroplasticity. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I think that's so important, like, our brains are so powerful and we are capable of anything, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 anything if you put your mind to it, and what I have proved to myself as well as, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I guess, if the medical establishment would have studied me? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But there is no study of me, you know 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 , that what I have done is really carve new pathways in my brain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So now I'm using my left hand and it's never going to be the same, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm never going to be able to play the cello like I did but at the same time, I can use it now. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I mean, in all these 9 years, I didn't use it, and it's only through this, like, persistence I have, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of exerciszing, of pushing myself. And I think it helps bcause I was an athlete before I got MS. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I had this like, competitive "I'm hard-ass" kind of thing in me (laughs). 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because I played soccer for many years, and we were really good, you know, our team was good, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and so I have at - that hard-ass attitude of just like keep pushing, keep pushing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and the hard part with MS is, like, your energy is greatly depleted. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I know for me, and for a lot of people, when they are first diagnosed with the illness, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they can't do this stuff the same way they did it before, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they have to figure out how to adapt to this new world of not being able to do things yourself 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And we knew that as stubborn and hard-ass that I was, there was no way, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and how I would ve to ask someone to change my light bulb, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but it was at a point where I had that, so the light bulb would not get changed 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 if I didn't ask someone to do it for me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And what I also had to realize is that generally, people like helping other people. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It gives them a sense of, self-sense of worth, you know? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And where I looked at it like, it's a downfall for me that I can't do myself, do it myself, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 what they're getting from it is like, "We like helping people, I like it, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it makes me feel better about myself". 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I know, you know, when I can help people with stuff that they don't know anything about, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 whether being DJing music technology, or MS for that matter, you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it feels good to know that, like, I have something to give these people 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and so, like, for many years, I beat myself up being like, "Well, I can't do myself." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But that attitude really got in the way of my growth, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know, I think you really have to learn that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I don't even know, I think I am lucky that I was able to adapt successfully. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You know, I've reached a point now that the MS isn't ............. life (11:59) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 which it was, for many, many years, ten years. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it was like that was every, everything I did, it was about MS. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It was about having - First of all, graduating college: I mean I had to - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I couldn't be the music major, because I couldn't even play anymore. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I changed into , speech (?) communication major (12:22) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because I wanted to learn how to affect people effectively (laughs) with my words, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and let them hear me, and not sign off. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So, I thought it was important to learn the art of communication 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and how to communicate effectively, to affect people. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I think I did that really well, and I know I'm doing it really well, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because my story is special and unique in the sense that it happened so quickly. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But if you - if there's a will, there's a way. I mean, the fact that I couldn't walk and I went skiing 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and now I'm riding and I ...................... what the hell! (13:06) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Excuse me, but like, it's .............. it's just mind-blowing to me (13:12) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Everyday, it's a min-blowing experience like, brushing my teeth in the morning. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I could never do that with two hands, and now I can. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And so every morning, when I brush my teeth, I'm like, "Hell yeah, I'm doing this", 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and that' just a little thing, but it's like, I appreciate that stuff. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Tie my shoes? Couldn't tie them for a good nine years. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So now, I tie my shoes and I'm proud to tie my shoes, you know, it's appreciating those little things. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I wouldn't have had that perspective, I wouldn't have known this, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I wouldn't be inl......... this much (13:45) without the losses that I've had. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I really say, I thing Ram Dass said it, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that, you know, through his strokes, this brought him closer to enlightenment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because now he had a new perspective, you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 now he saw what it was like, you know, on the other side - whatever. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I think it's been my duty to kind of let people look through a different lens for a minute 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and see, you know, look at themselves. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 In that regard, I think most people don't ever think about things like that happening, you know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But the fact is, they do and it could happen to any of us at any moment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yet we are so concerned about the future, or so stuck on the past that we're not living in the moment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And like, right now, I'm appreciating this moment, to be able to speak freely 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and let people know they've just got to appreciate what they have a little more. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because, people, you really don't know what you have until you lose it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I think it's so important for people to appreciate what they have. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And you're never going to - hopefully, you'll never have to go through that, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of learning what it's like to lose all that stuff, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because it's not easy, and it was only through some intense MDR (?) theraoy (15:12), 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 which is eye-movement therapy, that I got peace with the fact that I can't play the cello 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 like, you know, a symphony cellist anymore, you know? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But it - that is some intense stuff., for anybody ........... trauma (15:29), it's mainly for trauma. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I always thought that I didn't go through war, I didn't have some horrorific incident happen to me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But at the same time, I went there because I was in a car accident, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and the car accident was because of this darned tauma (laughs) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I thought for a brief second I could use my other hand to grab something, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but in that brief second, my arm jerked and whoof, there went the car and we slipped (15:58) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I lost my two dogs in the car accident. It was very traumatic. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But, so I was going to go, and I was like; "I'm never driving again." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 After that happened, I was like: "No: screw the car." (16:11) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I went into this therapy, thinking I was going to work on my driving. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But what I realized was how connected it was to having a mess., 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and the trauma that I went through with my diagnosis. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because, you know, I was only 20 years old, my brain was not yet developped. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So it is pretty impactful when all you know is no longer, you know? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I'm also very thankful because I had an amazing family to help me through it all, you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that's a key piece. But this also why I started my group. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because I don't think that anybody needs to deal with that stuff alone (16:55) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and fortunately now, there is now, what, seven drugs available, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 ........ just the three (17:02) that were available before, and those three were only injectables, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 there is no - I think now, only in the last ouple of years, I don't even now, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm kind of happy to live (?) with the medication 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because my medication has worked for me the whole time and I^m really lucky. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I know that there's like one or two other oral medications out now, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 all the rest are injectables, and that's a big deal. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's probably one of the harder things, it was having to know I ...... poked in my butt (17:40) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 every four days or whatever, and you know, for a lot of these, a lot of people, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it's so interesting how everybody is so different with these injections. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I have one friend that is like, adamant, like "I'm never letting people do this to me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This is I have to live this for myself, it's my medication,. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then there is someone like me that's like, I can't even look at the needle, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 so I need someone else to do this for me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And, you know, 14 years later, I still have someone else do it for me because I - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 ....... you want to make it easier for yourself? (18:18) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If I mean I have to do injections in my butt, into muscular leg, I'm talking big needles, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I don't want to see the needle, I don't even want to know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But even to this day, I don't do it myself, I have a nurse do it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm really good at it at this point, I mean, so much practice, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I think I have enough needles now that we are about equal on the coverage. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I thik, you know, you know, I'm going to promote myself and I'm a DJ. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [JOurnalist] (Incomprehensible) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] I did transform that classical skill of music into my turntablism. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's vastly different. It's a different sound. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it was a huge loss to me, to not be able to create my own sound, and even turn, you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 being on turntables, it's someone else's music that I'm playing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But what I've learned is that nobody else can make it sound the way I'm making it sound. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because it's the art of the mixer, and it's really about hearing, and the harmony - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 this tattoo right here represents harmony because - and I have one on the back of my neck, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that was initially made out of two base clefs in a - in........... (19:52) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But the tatto artist was not a musician and he put the dots on the wrong side, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I was like, Oh, can we just like... SO he just made it in ..........(20:02) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But it still has the same meaning to me, and that is that the music is never lost in me, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 no matter if I can play that or not. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I will forever hear it, I will forever feel it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And that's what I put into my turntablism, you know? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm not a big scratcher. Oh, I must admit, the other day, I was fucking around 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I scratched some of this Saudi Arabian music, and made it House: it's pretty hot. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Journalist] Now.... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] Well, you know, that was just like, I don't know if I can do that again, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it was kind of in the moment, but I am able to let out my creativity through the turntables now, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and it took me a long time to get to this point, but it's - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 now I know that the sounds I'm creating whether - and it's all other people's music, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but the way I'm manipulating their music, it's an art within itself. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I think that there's plenty of DJs these days that just use a stupid program 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that does it all for them, and they just click in stuff, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but they've lost the art form of what it really is, and i think if you go back to, like 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the original people who were DJs, they were - they were musician 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and they were creating their own sound, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and unfortunately, technology has kind of moved faster, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and so all these kids are trying to be DJs, and it's kind of funny to me, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because they don't even know how to match a beat. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But you know, to each their own, and I do not judge (laughs) Bullshit, I totally judge. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I am - I would be the first to say that. It's like if you don't know how to match a beat, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 why are you even trying? BUt, you know, that's a whole other show. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Journalist and Cohen laugh] 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] BUt I think that the message I want to leave with, I guess you could say, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 would be, you know, "Stay positive." That's the only way I got through all this stuff with - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 by staying positive, then I kept pushing, you know, it was like, you know: 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Bring it on!" - now I made a point to bring it on, you know? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 What else are you going to do with me? You know, I don't really - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know, I can beat it, whatever it is, you know, and yes, I may have this illness 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 for the rest of my life, but I'm not going to let it run me, and I'm not going to let it control me, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but you know, at the same time, I say that, and there's definitely a lot of restrictions it puts on you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I mean, when you've chronic fatigue and you're sleeping 18 hours a day, you can- 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it's going to be .... hard not only to be able to hold on a job, more or less like "relationships", 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that's whole other ball of game. So it's like, you really have to learn how to adapt. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And a lot of it is adapting to other people. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because, especially like now, even now, like, I don't look like I've an illness 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 or anything wrong wrong with me at all. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then, I have a drink, and I look like I'm wasted. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I've been called (?) out of bars even (23.29), a few months ago I got called (?) off at a bar, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because the bartender saw me stumbling, ad^nd I was like: "But I have MS!" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it's like, I don't have it tattoed - I wear a bracelet now that says "I've MS", 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because I carried a card that I have MS, but this is much more like, bang! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you don't have to, like, struggle, to get it out of your wallet or whatever. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But, you know, it's all the invisible symptoms that nobody sees, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and that's what I will make visible is that with this illness, you can't see the pain they're in, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the struggles they're in, feeling like they have a tight belt around their waist, you know, 24/7, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 or whatever - you know, for me it was shaky arms, so you know, I - there was always tricks, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 there were times that I just sat (?) on my arms (24:22). 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because whenever I'd bring it out, it was like flopping in the wind. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So it's - you learn tricks (laughs). 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I think that a lot of people - its - it's really hard for a lot of people, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because they don't want to accept it, you know, and what is it? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 The 5 stages - were you a ...........? (24.45) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Journalist] Yeah. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] OK: spit them out: denial, anger, I don't know. What are those? All those stages you go throug. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You go through that stuff with MS. It's like, OK, because like that first year, I drank so much boo- 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 so many beers because it was so much easier to say: "No, I'm just drunk", instead of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I've got this illness that's making me all uncoordinated". 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Alcohol was awesome for making me deny the fact that this stuff was going on - to a degree, to a degree. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then I was reallyhe angry because I was on a college campus, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and everybody was so young and sttupid and hadn't - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 .................... angry (25:34) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was like, "Everybody is stupid" [laughs]. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But then, after i got over the anger, I, you know, became accepting of it 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I knew that the anger wasn't getting me anywhere, any of these - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 or the sadness for that matter, you know, or any of these emotions, wasn't taking me to a place of peace with it.. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I really think that because of this........ therapy (26:05), I became at peace with it all, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and it still sucks. I'm never going to say it doesn't suck, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but you know, fortunately for me, the only thing that I have to deal with is these injections. (26:15) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You know, I don't have - my tremor is calm enough now, all my symptoms are pretty regulated, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I - So it's like a new lease on life, I feel. And so - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] .... of MS(26:29) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] What? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Are there different types of MS? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] Yes. Thank you for asking. There are, and that's what a lot of people don't know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And the more ......... people(25:40) with MS have relapsing or remitting MS, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 which is one that comes and goes as it pleases. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But these drugs prevent the quicker going downs and kind of trick the brain into the - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 thinking the stuff's there that isn't. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But then there is the progressive and secondary progressive, which are the really debilitating kind - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 ah no (?), the kinds with the people in the wheelchairs, and the people that (then) get bedridden. (27:14) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And unfortunately, there is no medication for them. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So for - this is my biggest concern now, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because they've got all of us relapsing or remitting people pretty much under control, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but it's these people that just keep getting worse and worse and worse 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and, you know, that's the hardest part of MS to watch or even talk about. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because, like, when I started this support group 8 years ago, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 there was a few people in there with progressive MS, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and you know, they started coming to the meetings and they were OK, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they might have had a little tremor, but we all had tremors at that point. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So it was like, "Yeah, I -". But we could relate to each other, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and one of these guys I got really close with, and he had progressive. Oh, he still has progressive. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I should not speak of him in that way. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But just the quick downfall of his system, and how it just fell apart, you know, like, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 so he comes to this meeting, and maybe he's got the old tremor, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the next month he comes and he's got optic neuritis in one eye, one eye is just looking out that way, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know, and then it's like, ........ is another symptom (28:44) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Then the next month later, he's not even walking, you know, he's using canes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then the month after that, he's in a wheelchair. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And now this guy is totally bedridden, to where his mom has to feed him and bathe him, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and his independence has been taken, and it's really hard. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because then unlike - well how did I get so lucky? Why am I so lucky that I could get better? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If I could just have given him half of my recovery or whatever, we'd both be in better places. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But it's not how it works. But for me, that's my biggest motivation, you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 for all these people with MS who really can't do it anymore, like I'm going to keep pushing harder, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I'm going to ride that elliptical machine, because I can, damn it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And you know, for me, that was such a huge thing, because that elliptical machine and I were enemies. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We - my left and right body didn't work together, that whole piece of my brain was kind of messed up, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 so an elliptical machine was the utter, the best example of the left and right brain working together 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 at the same - you know, that total coordination right there. And - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Do you want to talk about what induced you to use the elliptical? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] What? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Do you want to talk about who pushed you to use the elliptical? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] Oh, my trainer! God bless my trainer! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because I met him 5 years ago, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Ah! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] and I wasn't using my left arm. I could walk but I had very little coordination and balance. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I always thought I was kind of drunk, which is fun, in public. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But he understood right away that this was a neurological disease and that it wasn't about my muscles, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because the trainer I had before him was like a total jerk, and he was like, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I'm going to whip you into shape" and like - he definitely put some muscle on me 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but there was no - no pathways being carved [laughs]. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So when I got this .... - this trainer (31:06], he got it and he was just challenging me 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 with motions I hadn't been doing for 9 years, with, like, using my arm and bringing it out , 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and acting as if I'm lifting my dog and putting him on a shelf over here, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 which was a motion I didn't do, but - but from doing this, repetitively, for years, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it's like now, I'm throwing medicine balls with my left hand, you know? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it's only because he's kind of a - he's an awesome trainer, because he's like - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 he's fun: we have fun, that's the best piece of it, you know, he makes games out of everything, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I being the athlete that I was, I wanted to be like, "No, I can do it (31:57) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 he's like, "You're done, you're done!" I'm like "No! I got to do it one more time, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 just to prove to myself I can do it". 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But ehm - so we got this elliptical machine and I just looked at it for months, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 like it's over there, and that's there for other people. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then finally, one day, he's like "YOu won't even try and ride this?" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was like: "Errh, I don't know, you think I can?" I mean, he has been - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 he got me to this point and I got on, and I was riding it, and it was the weirdest feeling in the world, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because both my left and right were working simultaneously together, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 which never happened for not in - you know - 14 years [laughs]. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So yeah, it was pretty darned amazing. I was just like: "Holy -" I was freaking out. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm surprised that I didn't start bawling in front of him. But I can - it was also awesome for him 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because he was like, "I'm doing my job and I'm good at it!" you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I have to give him credit because, you know, if I had been working out by myself all this time, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I wouldn't have seen any of these improvements. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But because I have this guy on my side that's lie pushing me and challenging me, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and keeping me motivated, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that's the biggest thing, like, I've got no motivation to go to the gym, I hate the gym, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know, I don't mind going to look at the sexy men, but there's a lot more unattractive men then sexy 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 men [giggles with interviewer], so screw that! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But you know, it's really about me and my personal gain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I just feel very lucky and blessed, and I think everybody needs to kind of take - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 take a moment and appreciate all the things they have, until you lose it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I wish I would have known, you know. If I would have known that was going to happen to me, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I probably would have been playing my cello every day, multiple times a day, and doing all this stuff. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I was just a stupid kid and I didn't realize that any ...... that could ever happen (34:16) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Nobody knows, nobody. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] No, they don't, but they'd - I errh I think that I'm trying to - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm trying to kind of change the face of MS. I'm trying to show the positive side. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Not all these people in wheelchairs and all negative, becaus that really is the older generation of MS, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and it's not like that anymore. I mean, the support group that's still running, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I mean there's new people coming in every months, and they are all at different levels 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 in dealing with their illness. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Some of them - there was one girl a few months ago, who hadn't even been diagnosed yet, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but she knew it, because her father had MS and she - she knew. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And, you know, watching her go through that whole process of getting the diagnosis, having to adapt, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 taking the injections, and being there, knowing that, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 just being able to connect with other people about it, helps so greatly, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 like even that - the guy with progressive MS, I think one of our most binding moments 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 was just standing in his kitchen and he fell, and he's like: 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Damn! Don't you hate it when the earth moves out from underneath you!" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I go "Oh my God! I love this guy!", like I'd experienced that too. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But' it's very rare that you're going to meet someone who has experienced that without being drunk, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know what I'm saying? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it's very - I know that guy and I are forever in each other's heart, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because I think we were both like the first people who had the same illness you could relate, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and he was like a track star and all this before the MS expected him (? - 36:11) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So he also lost his passions but we also learned to adapt and you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 whether I was going to be this "rock star chalice (?)" or not (36:25), 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it's like, life has lead me in this direction and I can only do - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 go forward and spread the positive stuff, and that's what I'm trying to do, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I'm trying to affect people and let them know, "No, you're not alone. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and there isn't a cure for this illness. So it would be nice if there was, you know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So help us get there and help - help" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's interesting because I think more and more, now, if I say I've MS, somebody will say; 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Oh, my sister has MS - my aunt has MS". Somebody knows somebody with MS. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I'm glad that's the case, because people, you know, 14 years ago, they didn't even know what it was. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it's nice to know that people actually are getting diagnosed faster, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 which is awful because they can get on drugs faster and avoid giant relapses, I guess. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 ............ (37:33) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Did you have to change your diet at all? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] No [laughs] That was the one thing I was adamant about not doing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm like, "You can take away my cello, my bike, my snowboard, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you can take away all those things, but I'm still eating cheese". 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Like, as long as I was healthy, and I eat well, but I never eliminated anything in my diet 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because, you know, when I was first diagnosed, there were many theories, like she'd just - you know - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 would go to a vegan diet, she would never have any issues, it would help. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Or if she took all the mercury out of her fillings, because they thought that could be related, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and so it was like, all these theories 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 After I think being bombarded so young with all these theories of ways to prevent stuff from happening, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was like: "No", you know, like "Whatever I'm doing," like, "it's fine." like, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I can't control this illness so I'm not going to change my diet if it's not really in the way." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Like, I never adapted my eating any different things - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and although at the same time, you know, a lot of people who - in the MS community - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 who have, and they said it's made a huge difference. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But so, alright, I think everybody is different in that regard. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm not a person to change their eating habits, just because I like to eat 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I know I don't eat really poorly, so that's good. I'm pretty healthy. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I really think that exercise has been the biggest help in my treatment, in my "healing" if you will, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know? I think that's the only way I could get to this point. So... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] How did your family understand the difficulties that you are looking at in the future? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] Wow! The worst was being - my mom was a therapist for many years 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and she had had a client who had MS, who was a ballerina, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and then all of a sudden couldn't do ballet anymore, and so - so my mother really knew more than anybody 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 (laughs) about the illness and ..... (40:09) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and at this point I think that - I'm trying to think - I think that her client probably had progressive MS 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I did not, so that was good, but so my mother knew the horrors of what this could mean 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and so, for her, it was way worse than for anyone else, because she knew all the bad stuff 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and she was like "Right, my daughter now must deal with all this." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I think in that - in those initial couple of years I got so close with them, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because they were the only support system I really had, you know, I was 18 hours a day, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was only up sporadically, and like, my friends were all turning 21 and hitting the bars, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and it's like "I can't do that anymore." So I became very close to my parents. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I'm very lucky that I got this opportunity to do it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And that they were cool enough to listen to me ditch as much as I did, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because I needed that. I think everybody who gets dealt a hand of cards like that, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know, you got to be able to bitch, and that's mainly why I started the support group ..... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 People need a place to feel safe to bitch. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because, you know, my poor parents got to hear every little crappy thing that I felt about everything, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know, and everything turned negative, and it's all a big spiral of that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 When one thing goes wrong, everything [makes sounds suggesting things disintegrating]. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And this goes on and on. But luckily, they were kindly enough to just let me bitch. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And my mom would smack some sense into me occasionally, .........(42:04) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you know, but at the same time she's a brilliant mom (?). 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because, like, this Christmas when I went skiing, with my paralyzed friend, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 he was like "Hem, I'm getting you on skis." I was like: "Why?" He's like: "I can do it, you can do it." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm like: "Shit! He can't even use his right side, I can do this." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So he got me on skis and it was very powerful. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But my mother was like, you know: "Well, Chloe?" I was freaking out because I'd just heard bad news 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 about my one friend from the group who had progressive MS, and now used that ......... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and it was really overwhelming for me. And my mother was so awesome, because she was like: 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Chloe, you know, you're going to go skiing today. You can go skiing today. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I want you to go skiing and do this for people like him. Because he can't. " 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it just pushed me even further and I got out there, and I skied. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I must admit, there was a moment when I was looking up, like "Holy shit, look what the hell I'm doing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 ...... God bless you, Mike (43:22)", you know, "and all of you progressive people", you know, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I'm doing this for you, as much as myself. But, you know, because I can do, I mean, that's so cool." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [laughs] And I just - you don't know what you got until you lose it, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and be appreciative of what you got and live in the moment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Those are my two parting [laughs] phrases. Appreciate what you got. And live in the moment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I think if you go into life with that kind of attitude, you'll be OK. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But you also have to know shit is always going to happen, you can't control shit from happening. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But you deal with it in the moment. You don't worry about it, you deal with it in the moment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So yeah. [laughs] 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] That's awesome that you've made such amazing accomplishments. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Thank you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] I feel fortunate to be able to have the - the skill, I guess you could say, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of communicating about this in an effective way, without judgment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I know that I've my part in the MS - no: I'll forever do my part in the MS community, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of bringing awareness and bringing hope, because I think a lot of people forget that anything's possible, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I am proof of that, and I think, the more you can realize what you have, the better it will be? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I don't know. I'm just babbling now [laughs] 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] No! I want to share your DJ page. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] Yeah. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] you can check URL on - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Cohen] Ding! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Interviewer] Ah, that's here. This Chloe's DJ page. If you go .... it's like DJ CC and will come up.