[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Interviewer] Welcome to "Inspiring People"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, we have Chloe Cohen, who is going to tell us the inspiring story
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of her struggle and how she has been dealing with Multiple Sclerosis for many years, now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chloe, you are on.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Chloe Cohen] Hi, everybody. My name is Chloe
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I've been living with Multiple Sclerosis for about 14 years, now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was 20 years old when I was diagnosed and for me it was very quick - it was not -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most people generally have symptoms and then slowly, more shit starts happening,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then they are diagnosed.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for me, I hit my head real hard, and that head trauma caused symptoms pretty much instantly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Interviewer] Oh, it's not genetic?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Cohen] They don't know. They still don't know if it's genetic, environmental or anything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they're still trying to figure out that out.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But - Yeah, nobody in my family has it, but like, one of the girls that I know with MS, her sister has it,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, this other girl, her father has it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I don't know. I don't know if it's genetic or not. I don't think they know, but I will say this:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I was diagnosed 14 years ago, there were 30 drugs available to slow down the progression of the disease.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I think I should start by explaining what MS is.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's a neurological disease that affects the central nervous system,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a wide, wide, wide range of symptoms, from numbness and tingling
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to blindness in an eye, to the loss of the use of limbs, to chronic pain.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every single person with the illness is different, and how it affects them.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there is no two people who deal with it in exactly the same way.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But before these drugs came out, there was no way to slow the progression of the illness.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's why there is such an older generation of people with MS in wheelchairs,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they didn't have the benefits of these drugs that slow the progression,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it is constantly flowing, you never know what's going to happen today, you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been now in remission for four years, and it's like a new life,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because for 9 years of my life, it was this up and down thing of what's going to happen tomorrow,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what - is this symptom not going to be here tomorrow, or what's going to happen tomorrow?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I very much learned how to live [coughs] - excuse me - within the moment.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not worry about the future as much.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's only because I went through all that, that brought me to this for me (? - 3:12)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm definitely a lucky one. I was very disabled initially.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I hit my head, it basically just jarred everything loose that was loose .
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I probably had, you know, when I look back at my childhood before I even had MS,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can recall things that happened during that, you know, that were like,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my feet would go numb in the shower in high school.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I didn't even consider it, because they'd come back to life, you know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only until I was diagnosed with MS did I go "Huh, maybe that was connected", you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, you know, I don't know - I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my theory, I've probably had this since I was born and it probably came up all through my life.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I didn't get that diagnosis untill I initially hit my head
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and had this like fast bang: I can't use my left side, it was all like I had that constant tremor,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had vertigo, so it was like being wasted drunk all the time,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you're not drunk, so you didn't get the benefit of the drunkenness [laughs],
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you just got the bad stuff (4:35)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[nterviewer] Did you suffer from it really bad, sometimes? (?)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Cohen] Luckily, it was only about, maybe, 6 months to a year, where it was really bad.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was lucky because as soon as they discovered that it was MS,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got put on medication and really the only thing that they have, it was steroids and steroids
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to calm the inflammation or whatever that's happening.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, getting on am oral dose of steroids relieved my trauma relatively
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was on - about some other drugs, there is this drug called antivir,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I don't even know what the heck it is, but it was something like working out, straightening you out (?).
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I didn't have vertigo anymore. So, I give credits to the medical establishment
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for having these drugs available, but never ... quite enough.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I found ...... to be one of the only things that relieved me from these constant annoyances.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At least, it brought me to a more accepting place, I guess you could say,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where it's like "OK, if I have to deal with this 24/7, then I can, you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as much physically as the marihuana was doing, the cannabis was doing,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of calming my tremors and taking away my disconfort.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was also bringing psychological relief that, you know what ? I can handle this and do it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is my life, and I'll move - and now, not worry about the future so much.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my story really is important because, you know, within 20 minute, my life slipped .
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had hit my head and I couldn't use my left side, and that was a challenge (?).
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what I was going to college for. I was going to study music,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was going to be a Michael Bark Band (?) ..................... (6:46)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what I thought. But then what's, you know. Yeah, I had to reramp my life.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My life, you know, and I was very angry for a very long time,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I think anyone who've got their passion (?).... quickly (? /:07)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anybody who has had any kind of instant loss knows, appreciates every little thing a little bit more,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you know what it's like to lose it. (7:18)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and i think it took me a lot of therapy and a lot of, like,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,awsome conversation with people who get it, to be able to be at this point.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I did start a support group here, eight years ago, for younger people with MS,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because all the support groups were for old ........... people
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they never got the benefit of the medication until, maybe, 15 years into their MS game
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it has done - it has taken its toll already, so there is always so much -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is no repair of what 's been taken away.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know - they're working on it, how to - figuring out ways to repair that myeline that's .....
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, when you have myeline - I left this major point out - you've lesions on your brain.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So those lesions then form symptoms in whatever area of the brain they're covering.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet - but the disease is the demyelinization of your nerves,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's what causes them to be set (?) on improperly, and things.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when you have ........... nerves (8:45)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the messages get screwed up.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what I have learned after not walking, to be where I am at now,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is no way I could have done that without the concepts of neuroplasticity.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think that's so important, like, our brains are so powerful and we are capable of anything,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything if you put your mind to it, and what I have proved to myself as well as,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess, if the medical establishment would have studied me?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there is no study of me, you know
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,, that what I have done is really carve new pathways in my brain.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now I'm using my left hand and it's never going to be the same,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm never going to be able to play the cello like I did but at the same time, I can use it now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, in all these 9 years, I didn't use it, and it's only through this, like, persistence I have,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of exerciszing, of pushing myself. And I think it helps bcause I was an athlete before I got MS.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I had this like, competitive "I'm hard-ass" kind of thing in me (laughs).
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I played soccer for many years, and we were really good, you know, our team was good,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I have at - that hard-ass attitude of just like keep pushing, keep pushing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the hard part with MS is, like, your energy is greatly depleted.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know for me, and for a lot of people, when they are first diagnosed with the illness,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they can't do this stuff the same way they did it before,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have to figure out how to adapt to this new world of not being able to do things yourself
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we knew that as stubborn and hard-ass that I was, there was no way,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how I would ve to ask someone to change my light bulb,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it was at a point where I had that, so the light bulb would not get changed
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I didn't ask someone to do it for me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what I also had to realize is that generally, people like helping other people.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It gives them a sense of, self-sense of worth, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And where I looked at it like, it's a downfall for me that I can't do myself, do it myself,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what they're getting from it is like, "We like helping people, I like it,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it makes me feel better about myself".
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know, you know, when I can help people with stuff that they don't know anything about,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether being DJing music technology, or MS for that matter, you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it feels good to know that, like, I have something to give these people
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so, like, for many years, I beat myself up being like, "Well, I can't do myself."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that attitude really got in the way of my growth,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, I think you really have to learn that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't even know, I think I am lucky that I was able to adapt successfully.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, I've reached a point now that the MS isn't ............. life (11:59)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which it was, for many, many years, ten years.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was like that was every, everything I did, it was about MS.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was about having - First of all, graduating college: I mean I had to -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I couldn't be the music major, because I couldn't even play anymore.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I changed into , speech (?) communication major (12:22)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I wanted to learn how to affect people effectively (laughs) with my words,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and let them hear me, and not sign off.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I thought it was important to learn the art of communication
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how to communicate effectively, to affect people.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think I did that really well, and I know I'm doing it really well,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because my story is special and unique in the sense that it happened so quickly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if you - if there's a will, there's a way. I mean, the fact that I couldn't walk and I went skiing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now I'm riding and I ...................... what the hell! (13:06)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Excuse me, but like, it's .............. it's just mind-blowing to me (13:12)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyday, it's a min-blowing experience like, brushing my teeth in the morning.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could never do that with two hands, and now I can.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so every morning, when I brush my teeth, I'm like, "Hell yeah, I'm doing this",
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that' just a little thing, but it's like, I appreciate that stuff.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tie my shoes? Couldn't tie them for a good nine years.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now, I tie my shoes and I'm proud to tie my shoes, you know, it's appreciating those little things.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wouldn't have had that perspective, I wouldn't have known this,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wouldn't be inl......... this much (13:45) without the losses that I've had.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I really say, I thing Ram Dass said it,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that, you know, through his strokes, this brought him closer to enlightenment.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because now he had a new perspective, you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now he saw what it was like, you know, on the other side - whatever.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think it's been my duty to kind of let people look through a different lens for a minute
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and see, you know, look at themselves.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In that regard, I think most people don't ever think about things like that happening, you know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fact is, they do and it could happen to any of us at any moment.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet we are so concerned about the future, or so stuck on the past that we're not living in the moment.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And like, right now, I'm appreciating this moment, to be able to speak freely
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and let people know they've just got to appreciate what they have a little more.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because, people, you really don't know what you have until you lose it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think it's so important for people to appreciate what they have.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're never going to - hopefully, you'll never have to go through that,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of learning what it's like to lose all that stuff,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's not easy, and it was only through some intense MDR (?) theraoy (15:12),
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is eye-movement therapy, that I got peace with the fact that I can't play the cello
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like, you know, a symphony cellist anymore, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it - that is some intense stuff., for anybody ........... trauma (15:29), it's mainly for trauma.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I always thought that I didn't go through war, I didn't have some horrorific incident happen to me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But at the same time, I went there because I was in a car accident,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the car accident was because of this darned tauma (laughs)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I thought for a brief second I could use my other hand to grab something,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but in that brief second, my arm jerked and whoof, there went the car and we slipped (15:58)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I lost my two dogs in the car accident. It was very traumatic.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, so I was going to go, and I was like; "I'm never driving again."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After that happened, I was like: "No: screw the car." (16:11)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I went into this therapy, thinking I was going to work on my driving.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what I realized was how connected it was to having a mess.,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the trauma that I went through with my diagnosis.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because, you know, I was only 20 years old, my brain was not yet developped.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it is pretty impactful when all you know is no longer, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm also very thankful because I had an amazing family to help me through it all, you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's a key piece. But this also why I started my group.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I don't think that anybody needs to deal with that stuff alone (16:55)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and fortunately now, there is now, what, seven drugs available,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,........ just the three (17:02) that were available before, and those three were only injectables,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is no - I think now, only in the last ouple of years, I don't even now,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm kind of happy to live (?) with the medication
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because my medication has worked for me the whole time and I^m really lucky.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I know that there's like one or two other oral medications out now,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the rest are injectables, and that's a big deal.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's probably one of the harder things, it was having to know I ...... poked in my butt (17:40)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every four days or whatever, and you know, for a lot of these, a lot of people,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's so interesting how everybody is so different with these injections.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have one friend that is like, adamant, like "I'm never letting people do this to me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is I have to live this for myself, it's my medication,.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then there is someone like me that's like, I can't even look at the needle,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I need someone else to do this for me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, you know, 14 years later, I still have someone else do it for me because I -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,....... you want to make it easier for yourself? (18:18)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I mean I have to do injections in my butt, into muscular leg, I'm talking big needles,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want to see the needle, I don't even want to know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But even to this day, I don't do it myself, I have a nurse do it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm really good at it at this point, I mean, so much practice,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I think I have enough needles now that we are about equal on the coverage.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I thik, you know, you know, I'm going to promote myself and I'm a DJ.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[JOurnalist] (Incomprehensible)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Cohen] I did transform that classical skill of music into my turntablism.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's vastly different. It's a different sound.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was a huge loss to me, to not be able to create my own sound, and even turn, you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being on turntables, it's someone else's music that I'm playing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what I've learned is that nobody else can make it sound the way I'm making it sound.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it's the art of the mixer, and it's really about hearing, and the harmony -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this tattoo right here represents harmony because - and I have one on the back of my neck,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was initially made out of two base clefs in a - in........... (19:52)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the tatto artist was not a musician and he put the dots on the wrong side,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was like, Oh, can we just like... SO he just made it in ..........(20:02)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it still has the same meaning to me, and that is that the music is never lost in me,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no matter if I can play that or not.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will forever hear it, I will forever feel it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's what I put into my turntablism, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not a big scratcher. Oh, I must admit, the other day, I was fucking around
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I scratched some of this Saudi Arabian music, and made it House: it's pretty hot.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Journalist] Now....
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Cohen] Well, you know, that was just like, I don't know if I can do that again,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was kind of in the moment, but I am able to let out my creativity through the turntables now,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it took me a long time to get to this point, but it's -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now I know that the sounds I'm creating whether - and it's all other people's music,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the way I'm manipulating their music, it's an art within itself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think that there's plenty of DJs these days that just use a stupid program
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that does it all for them, and they just click in stuff,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they've lost the art form of what it really is, and i think if you go back to, like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the original people who were DJs, they were - they were musician
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they were creating their own sound,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and unfortunately, technology has kind of moved faster,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so all these kids are trying to be DJs, and it's kind of funny to me,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they don't even know how to match a beat.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you know, to each their own, and I do not judge (laughs) Bullshit, I totally judge.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am - I would be the first to say that. It's like if you don't know how to match a beat,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why are you even trying? BUt, you know, that's a whole other show.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Journalist and Cohen laugh]
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Cohen] BUt I think that the message I want to leave with, I guess you could say,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would be, you know, "Stay positive." That's the only way I got through all this stuff with -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by staying positive, then I kept pushing, you know, it was like, you know:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Bring it on!" - now I made a point to bring it on, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What else are you going to do with me? You know, I don't really -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, I can beat it, whatever it is, you know, and yes, I may have this illness
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the rest of my life, but I'm not going to let it run me, and I'm not going to let it control me,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you know, at the same time, I say that, and there's definitely a lot of restrictions it puts on you.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, when you've chronic fatigue and you're sleeping 18 hours a day, you can-
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's going to be .... hard not only to be able to hold on a job, more or less like "relationships",
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's whole other ball of game. So it's like, you really have to learn how to adapt.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a lot of it is adapting to other people.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because, especially like now, even now, like, I don't look like I've an illness
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or anything wrong wrong with me at all.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then, I have a drink, and I look like I'm wasted.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I've been called (?) out of bars even (23.29), a few months ago I got called (?) off at a bar,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the bartender saw me stumbling, ad^nd I was like: "But I have MS!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's like, I don't have it tattoed - I wear a bracelet now that says "I've MS",
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I carried a card that I have MS, but this is much more like, bang!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't have to, like, struggle, to get it out of your wallet or whatever.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, you know, it's all the invisible symptoms that nobody sees,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's what I will make visible is that with this illness, you can't see the pain they're in,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the struggles they're in, feeling like they have a tight belt around their waist, you know, 24/7,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or whatever - you know, for me it was shaky arms, so you know, I - there was always tricks,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there were times that I just sat (?) on my arms (24:22).
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because whenever I'd bring it out, it was like flopping in the wind.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's - you learn tricks (laughs).
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I think that a lot of people - its - it's really hard for a lot of people,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they don't want to accept it, you know, and what is it?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 5 stages - were you a ...........? (24.45)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Journalist] Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Cohen] OK: spit them out: denial, anger, I don't know. What are those? All those stages you go throug.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You go through that stuff with MS. It's like, OK, because like that first year, I drank so much boo-
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so many beers because it was so much easier to say: "No, I'm just drunk", instead of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I've got this illness that's making me all uncoordinated".
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alcohol was awesome for making me deny the fact that this stuff was going on - to a degree, to a degree.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I was reallyhe angry because I was on a college campus,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everybody was so young and sttupid and hadn't -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,.................... angry (25:34)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like, "Everybody is stupid" [laughs].
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then, after i got over the anger, I, you know, became accepting of it
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I knew that the anger wasn't getting me anywhere, any of these -
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the sadness for that matter, you know, or any of these emotions, wasn't taking me to a place of peace with it..
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I really think that because of this........ therapy (26:05), I became at peace with it all,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it still sucks. I'm never going to say it doesn't suck,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you know, fortunately for me, the only thing that I have to deal with is these injections. (26:15)