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The Late Mattia Pascal Chapter 1 – A Wrong Life

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My name is Mattia Pascal. Or at least… that’s what I called myself.

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I lived for years in a small town in Liguria,

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in a house that didn’t feel like my own, with a wife I never really loved

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and a mother-in-law who seemed born to make my life impossible.

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After my father died, our fortune quickly disappeared.

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Two dishonest men managed our money,

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and I could only watch them vanish.

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To make a living, I took a boring job in a municipal library.

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No one respected me, neither at home nor outside. My wife Romilda became increasingly bitter,

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my mother-in-law crueler.

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Every day I returned home with the weight of the world on my shoulders.

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No one listened to me, no one understood me.

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And I, slowly, began to disappear inside myself.

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Then, in a moment like many others, I decided to run away.

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Without saying anything to anyone, I got on a train,

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headed randomly. I had no plan,

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I had no hope. I just wanted to change my life.

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Forever.

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I couldn’t imagine that a few days later

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I would succeed. Too well, even.

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Chapter 2 – Escape and Fortune I arrived in Monte Carlo almost by chance.

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I still had some money in my pocket and a great desire to forget everything.

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I took a room in a modest hotel

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and went into the casino, more out of curiosity than anything else.

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I had never been lucky in my life, but that evening everything changed.

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I bet a few francs… and I won. I played again… and I won again.

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My hands were shaking, but I didn’t stop. I kept winning,

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as if fate wanted to compensate me for everything it had taken from me.

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In the end I left with an enormous sum.

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I had more money in my pocket than I had ever seen.

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For the first time I felt light. Free.

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I sat on a bench,

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looking at the sea. I thought:

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“What if I never went back? What if I started from scratch?

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With a new identity, a new life?”

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While I was thinking these thoughts, I bought a newspaper.

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There, on one of the pages, I read a news item:

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a body had been found in my town. And everyone thought it was me.

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At that moment I understood: fate was offering me

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a chance. Only one.

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Chapter 3 – The Wrong Dead Man I read that article three times.

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It said that a man had thrown himself into the canal,

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near my house, and that the body was unrecognizable.

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He had clothes and objects that looked like mine. People, the police,

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even my wife… everyone was sure: that dead man was me.

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At first I shivered. Then, slowly,

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an idea began to grow inside me.

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No one was looking for me. No one knew I was alive.

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If I had remained silent, I could really disappear.

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I spent the night walking. I thought about my wife, my mother-in-law,

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my gray life. There, among the lights of Monte Carlo,

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everything seemed so far away.

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And so I decided:

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I would never return. Mattia Pascal was dead.

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With the winnings I began to travel:

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first Nice, then Marseille, finally Italy.

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I cut my mustache, changed my hairstyle,

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bought new clothes. I burned my old wallet.

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I chose a new name: Adriano Meis.

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I felt reborn.

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Lighter than ever. But underneath that freedom

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there was also a strange restlessness.

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I no longer had a past. And without a past…

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building a future might not be so easy. But I would only understand this later.

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Chapter 4 – Adriano Meis

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With the name of Adriano Meis I crossed Italy

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like a ghost. With a full wallet,

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no one knew me, no one asked me questions.

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It was a strange, almost sweet feeling.

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I could be anyone, say anything.

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In Venice I was a tourist. In Florence I spent days in museums.

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In Rome I rented a quiet room, near the Tiber.

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I said I came from Switzerland, that I was there for health reasons.

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Everyone believed me, no one suspected.

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But I soon understood one thing:

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I was free, yes… but also invisible.

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Without real documents I couldn’t sign contracts,

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open an account, get married.

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Once I tried to stop a thief and the police asked me for my documents.

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I had to run away.

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And then Adriana, the daughter of the landlord, arrived.

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Sweet, intelligent, with two eyes full of melancholy.

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We started talking every day, then walking together.

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She looked at me with trust. And I… I was nobody.

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I couldn’t tell her the truth, but I couldn’t keep lying either.

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I was living a fake life, and I was starting to want it to be real.

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For the first time,

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I wanted to stay. And that… was a problem.

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Chapter 5 – Meeting the truth

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I really liked Adriana. I spoke sincerely with her,

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even if I didn’t say everything.

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Every day I waited for the moment to see her,

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to hear her voice. At home they began to trust me.

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Even her father, a difficult man, seemed to appreciate me.

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Sometimes I dreamed of staying there forever.

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Of marrying her. Of building a normal life.

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But every time I really thought about it, something inside me broke.

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Who was I to ask for the hand of an honest girl?

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I had no identity, no documents,

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no history. Only lies.

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One day I heard Adriana

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talking to a friend of hers. She said that maybe she loved me.

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I felt happy and guilty at the same time.

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That night I didn't sleep. The next day, in front of the mirror,

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I looked at my face.

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I no longer saw Adriano Meis or Mattia Pascal.

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Only a man who didn't know who he was.

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I had created an elegant cage,

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full of silences and illusions. I couldn't go on like this.

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Then I decided: Adriano Meis had to disappear too.

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I would erase my identity once again.

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Chapter 6 – The Impossible Return

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To make Adriano Meis disappear I chose a simple gesture:

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I left my clothes on a bridge and a farewell letter.

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Everything seemed to indicate that I would never return.

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So everyone would believe that Adriano had disappeared forever.

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Then I got on a train. Destination: home.

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I wanted to go back to being Mattia Pascal.

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I thought that, once there, everything would be fine.

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I was wrong.

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When I arrived in town, no one recognized me right away.

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And when I finally spoke to my mother, she almost fainted. She

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couldn’t believe I was alive. But the news that hit me the most

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was another: my wife had remarried.

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They had held a funeral. They had cried for me.

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And then… life had moved on.

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Romilda had a new husband,

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a new home, a new peace.

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And I… was a dead man who had returned too late.

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No one could accept my return. Not even the law.

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For the world, Mattia Pascal was dead.

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I couldn’t go back to my old life. I couldn’t go back.

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I had lost everything. Even the right to exist.

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Chapter 7 – The Late Mattia Pascal

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I tried to explain the truth, but the truth was no longer useful.

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My wife looked at me like a ghost.

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Her husband was someone else, and I was just a walking memory.

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I turned to a lawyer,

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but he also confirmed what I feared: for the State, I was legally dead.

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I couldn’t take back my name, or get my rights back.

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I couldn’t even ask for justice, because I would have had to report myself

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for false identity.

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I asked myself: who am I now?

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Adriano Meis died in the river. Mattia Pascal died years ago,

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at least for everyone else.

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And I, in the middle… what am I?

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A shadow. An idea.

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A person who doesn’t exist.

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I no longer had a home, nor a future,

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nor a past that I could take back.

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Just a body that walked in the world without purpose.

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So I did the only thing possible: I left,

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in silence, without looking for anything anymore.

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I had nothing left to lose. And in the emptiness that surrounded me,

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I began to understand something.

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Maybe the real prison

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It wasn’t my old life. It was absolute freedom.

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Chapter 8 – Alive, but not too much

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Now I live in a modest little room

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and spend my days between books and silence.

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I’ve returned to the library where I used to work,

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but no one knows who I really am.

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They call me “the strange one” and that’s okay.

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Every now and then I bump into someone from the past.

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They look at me with a mixture of doubt and indifference.

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No one has the courage to ask. Maybe they’re afraid of the truth.

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I haven’t tried to see my wife again.

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I know she’s happy. Or at least calm.

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I don’t want to disturb her. I don’t want to be a shadow that ruins everything.

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I’m writing this to fix my thoughts,

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as if it would serve any purpose. But I’m doing it anyway.

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I’ve lived two lives and in the end

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I didn’t save even one.

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My name is Mattia Pascal. Or rather,

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the late Mattia Pascal.

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Because even if I breathe,

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eat and walk… I don’t really exist anymore.

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I’m a man

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who has lost the right to be someone.

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And maybe, after all,

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this is precisely my freedom.

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An empty freedom.

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Silent. But mine.