WEBVTT

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(lagu rancak)

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Terima kasih kepada Skillshare kerana
menaja video hari ini.

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Hi korang, Amanda ni.

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Saya tengah buat penyediaan
bullet journal April 2021

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dan plan dengan saya hari ni.

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Video yang korang akan 
tengok ni lain sikit

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daripada video plan with me
saya yang biasa

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Saya akan cakap macam
dalam stail podcast

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pasal fikiran saya, pengalaman saya

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jadi seorang pencipta orang Asia,

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lebih-lebih lagi sebabkan
segala keganasan

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anti-orang Asia dan rasisme.

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Jadi tu lah yang korang akan dengar.

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Korang memang akan tengok
penyediaan bullet journal saya

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semua tu

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tapi tak akan jadi macam 
video saya yang biasa

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yang saya cerita pasal semua
benda yang saya lukis dalam kotak

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yang sejujurnya, tahap
ni, saya rasa ok

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sebab korang dah tengok
penyediaan bullet journal saya

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banyak kali.

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Jadi dah tentu korang

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dah tau apa saya buat takat ni.

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Saya tau korang akan
sangat menyokong

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dan menggalakkan video ni.

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Jadi terima kasih saya ucapkan awal-awal.

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Dengan itu,

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jom mula dengan penyediaan.

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(lagu)

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Baiklah.

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Tema bullet journal untuk April 
yang saya dah tetapkan

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ialah lukisan pokok buluh
hitam putih

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yang diinspirasikan oleh 
lukisan dakwat Cina tradisional.

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Sebab saya pilih ni

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dia berkaitan dengan apa
yang saya nak cakapkan

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dalam voiceover harini,
iaitu identiti orang Asia saya

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dan pengalaman dan juga kenaikan

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jenayah anti-orang Asia dan keganasan.

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Jadi, sebagai amaran,

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sebelum video ni kalau korang
tak nak dengar pasal semua ni,

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jadi, tau-tau lah, tutup suara video ni.

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Semestinya, dengan semua ni,

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saya akan cakap pasal
topik yang sangat serius.

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Jadi kalau korang tak nampak
apa yang tengah jadi kebelakangan ni

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Dalam berita baru-baru ni,

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ada banyak jenayah 
anti-orang Asia dan keganasan

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di kedua-dua Amerika dan Kanada.

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Dan sedikit statistik untuk korang,

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ya, saya nak cakap pasal statistik,

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dari 2019 sampai 2020 sementara
jenayah kebencian

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menurun sebanyak 7%,

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jenayah kebencian yang terutamanya
disasarkan kepada orang Asia

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menaik hampir 150% di Amerika.

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Dan di Kanada, menaik
sebanyak 600 atau 700 kali

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di bandar-bandar utama.

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Dan insiden ini melibatkan
orang dibatukkan,

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diludah dan dihina secara lisan

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dan semestinya, seperti yang kita
tengok kat berita baru-baru ni

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di Atlanta, ada yang dibunuh.

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Jadi

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ya, kebanyakannya adalah
disebabkan retorik rasis

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di berita mengenai pandemik
sejak setahun yang lalu,

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tau lah, ada orang panggil
dia selsema Cina.

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Tapi saya rasa sangat
penting untuk jelaskan

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yang kebanyakannya mendedahkan
sejarah yang mendalam

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tentang anti-orang Asia dan
xenofobia yang dah wujud

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di Barat dah berabad-abad.

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Cam, cara Barat cakap
pasal Cina,

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sebelum pandemik lagi selalunya

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diselubungi dalam kebencian
atau ketakutan.

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Dan korang selalu dengar
pasal satu kehadiran

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komunis Cina ni, seolah-olah
diorang cuba nak menakluk,

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yang dah terapkan satu gambaran
menakutkan dan penuh misteri

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pasal Cina kat pemikiran orang.

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Dan ia menjejaskan komuniti 
orang Asia sekarang.

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Jadi sepanjang sejarah, 
korang boleh tengok

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yang berlaku di Kanada dan Amerika,

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kem penahanan orang Jepun,

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cukai orang Cina di Kanada,

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di mana setiap orang yang 
berhijrah dari Cina

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kena bayar untuk masuk
ke dalam negara.

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Sebagai tambahan, tak ada 
kumpulan orang lain di Kanada

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yang dipaksa untuk bayar yuran

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berdasarkan dari mana mereka berasal.

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Saya tak nak lah cakap

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pasal statistik dan sejarah
je dan semua tu,

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sebab mesti korang 
tak tekan video ni sebab

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nak dengar pasal semua tu.

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Tapi, korang tengok video saya untuk saya

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dan untuk apa yang saya cipta,
seni saya dan journal saya

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dan identiti orang Asia saya ialah
satu bahagian besar semua tu.

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Untuk siapa yang tak tau
pasal latar belakang saya

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yang sebenarnya ramai orang tak tau,

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sebab bila saya cari nama saya
kat Google, benda pertama,

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cam benda pertama je yang muncul

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ialah Amanda ni berdarah campur.

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Apa-apa pun, saya Cina Kanada
generasi ketiga

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Atuk nenek saya lahir kat Cina

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lepas tu berhijrah ke Kanada.

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Masa saya membesar, identiti 
orang Asia saya agak mengelirukan

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sebab saya memang jelas orang Cina.

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Kedua-dua mak ayah saya orang Cina.

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Saya pun nampak macam orang Cina.

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Tapi, sebaliknya, saya tak
rasa macam orang Cina langsung.

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Saya lahir kat Kanada.

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Mak ayah saya cakap bahasa
Inggeris dengan fasih,

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jadi dah tentu saya langsung tak
reti cakap bahasa Cina.

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Dan saya membesar macam
anak orang Kanada yang lain.

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Jadi saya langsung tak dapat
kaitkan diri dengan belah Cina saya.

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Dan saya hampir mula nak
benci bahagian saya yang tu,

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yang bukanlah benda yang saya banggakan

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dan luluh hati saya bila fikir balik

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macam mana pemikiran saya
pasal budaya saya sendiri

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dan identiti saya pada
masa yang sama,

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Saya rasa saya banyak perasaan
perkauman dalaman

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Saya ingat dulu saya pernah berharap nak jadi 
orang putih sebab dalam pemikiran saya,

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saya dah nak jadi dah.

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Dan saya tau benda ni

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ramai anak-anak pendatang lalui,

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perasaan ada di antara
dua dunia,

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dan bukan sepenuhnya 
satu dunia tu.

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Pada saya, benda ni sangat
jelas dalam hidup saya,

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seawal kat sekolah menengah pun.

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Saya cukup bernasib baik
dapat pergi sekolah

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yang agak banyak dari
segi budaya

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Dan saya dapat katakan
yang sekolah menengah saya

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ada banyak jugak orang Asia.

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Jadi saya dikelilingi orang Asia.

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Tapi tu pun, ada masa yang
saya rasa macam dipulaukan

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oleh kawan orang Asia saya,

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sebab memandangkan saya orang
Cina Kadana generasi ketiga,

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dan kebanyakan mereka
dari generasi kedua.

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Ramai yang cakap bahasa ibunda diorang

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dan saya boleh cakap Bahasa Inggeris je.

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Tambahan pula, saya
pilih kerjaya

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dalam industri kreatif, 
di mana selalunya,

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tau lah, orang Asian dikaitkan
dengan menjadi doktor

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peguam atau jurutera.

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Dan kebanyakannya adalah
tekanan daripada mak ayah

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dan masyarakat dan semua tu.

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Tapi ramai orang gurau yang saya
ni orang Asia yang dah jadi orang putih.

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Dan saya pun gurau pasal tu jugak,

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Selalunya sebagai cara nak tepikan benda tu

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dan sertai gurauan tu dan
gelak ketawa dengan orang.

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Tapi dengan rasa bersalah, saya
rasa saya bangga bila

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orang panggil saya dah jadi orang 
putih atau bila orang tanya saya

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kalau saya berdarah campur
separuh Cina, separuh putih.

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Dan ia memang datang 
daripada idea yang orang putih

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tu ialah bentuk tertinggi

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atau apa yang saya
bercita-cita nak jadi.

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Dan disebabkan orang nampak
benda tu dalam saya

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dah jadi macam lencana asimilasi.

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Jelaslah sekarang, saya rasa 
sangat sedih.

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Saya harap saya dapat berbahasa Cina

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dan saya harap dulu saya berusaha lagi

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untuk

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Dan benda ni saya 
masih tengah usahakan

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dan sesuatu yang saya
kena cari

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seumur hidup saya sebagai 
seorang perempuan Asia.

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Seperti yang saya katakan, saya rasa
dipulaukan oleh kawan Asia saya

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tapi dah tentu saya tak 100% 
masuk juga dengan orang bukan Asia.

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Maksud saya, jelaslah
sebab rupa saya,

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Saya terang-terang orang Asia.

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Tapi semua ni sebab keagresifan mikro

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yang saya hadap dalam kehidupan seharian.

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Kalau korang tak tau 
keagresifan mikro tu apa,

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dia luahan tak langsung

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pasal rasisme atau kelebihan orang putih,

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dia macam casual dan tersorok.

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Dan benda ni biasa,

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biasa sangat sampai selalu dianggap

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sebagai jenaka.

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Dan walaupun ada mikro dalam perkataan tu,

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penyataan-penyataan kecik ni
lah yang akan menggunung

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untuk ada kesan yang besar
terhadap kumpulan minoriti.

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Dan saya pernah, semestinya
dah lalui segala

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keagresifan mikro dan jenaka

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dari orang datang kat saya

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dan nyanyi Ching Chong dekat saya

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sampailah ke orang tarik tepi mata diorang

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atau orang tanya saya 
betul-betul dari mana.

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Banyak sangat keagresifan mikro

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yang kumpulan minoriti kena hadapi
dalam kehidupan seharian.

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Saya ada jumpa beberap

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kertas akademik yang bagus

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yang tulis pasal tema utama
dalam kalangan keagresifan mikro.

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Saya takkan baca semua

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tapi benda utama ialah idea

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menjadi alien di negara sendiri.

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Dan ia datang daripada idea 
yang semua orang Asia

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atau orang kulit berwarna 
lahir dekat negara asing

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dan dalam kehidupan seharian,

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Dia yang, oh, korang tau lah,
"Awak dari mana?"

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Lepas tu bila saya cakap
saya dari Kanada,

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saya kena serang dengan,

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"Tak, awak betul-betul dari mana?"

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Dan walaupun, selalunya dari

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orang yang niat baik,

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yang berminat dengan latar belakang kita.

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Cara dia cakap buat dia bunyi macam

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saya bukan orang Kanada sebenar,

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walaupun saya lahir kat sini

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dan saya tak pernah pergi
Cina seumur hidup saya.

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Pape pun, kalau korang tertanya
macam mana nak tanya soalan tu,

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cuba tanya seseorang tu
apa latar belakang diorang

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atau apa etnik diorang

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daripada tanya diorang dari mana.

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Lagi satu tema keagresifan 
mikro ialah penolakan

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kaum secara general,

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yang dilihat dekat penyataan biasa macam,

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oh, saya tak nampak warna kulit,

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ada satu je kaum, kaum manusia.

00:09:52.720 --> 00:09:55.140
Dan ni menolak tepi orang berkulit warna punya

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budaya dan pengalaman kaum.

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Kita tak suruh orang jadi buta warna.

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Dia lebih kepada macam nampak 
warna tapi lepas tu terima

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dan akui benda tu.

00:10:07.150 --> 00:10:09.710
Lagi satu contoh bila
orang nafikan

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yang kaum main peranan
dalam kejayaan seseorang.

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Saya dengar ni sendiri

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melalui perbahasan yang saya lalui

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pasal inisiatif kepelbagaian dalam syarikat.

00:10:19.410 --> 00:10:22.400
Orang akan cakap benda
cam, korang tau lah,

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orang yang palik berkelayakan 
akan dapat kerja tu.

00:10:24.710 --> 00:10:25.840
Diorang tak boleh lah dapat

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sebab diorang kulit berwarna

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atau semua orang boleh
berjaya dalam masyarakat

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kalau diorang bekerja keras.

00:10:32.270 --> 00:10:35.460


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jadi kemungkinan diorang
dapat faedah tak adil

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dan hanya dipilih 
disebabkan kaum mereka.

00:10:44.050 --> 00:10:46.620


00:10:46.620 --> 00:10:50.020


00:10:50.020 --> 00:10:52.470


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Kebanyakan masa bila
keagresifan mikro macam ni

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terjadi kat saya, saya akan 
buat tak endah

00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:03.940
atau pun memanipulasi diri
sendiri dan cakap yang

00:11:03.940 --> 00:11:08.010
benda tu bukan benda besar, atau
pun tak berbaloi pun nak dikecohkan.

00:11:08.010 --> 00:11:10.910
Dan saya rasa ramai orang Asia
tak digalakkan untuk bersuara

00:11:10.910 --> 00:11:14.140
pasal apa-apa diskriminasi
atau masalah yang diorang hadapi.

00:11:14.140 --> 00:11:17.400
Dan ianya datang daripada
idea ni, idea yang ditanamkan

00:11:17.400 --> 00:11:20.050
dari keluarga untuk tak
mengeruhkan lagi keadaan.

00:11:20.050 --> 00:11:22.800
Selama bertahun pendatang orang 
Asia dah cuba yang terbaik

00:11:22.800 --> 00:11:26.690
untuk mengasimilasikan diri dan
untuk diterima dekat Barat,

00:11:26.690 --> 00:11:29.610
termasuklah ambik pekerjaan
yang tak ada orang nak

00:11:29.610 --> 00:11:31.350
dan tak buat kecoh.

00:11:31.350 --> 00:11:34.970
Tapi, sifat pasif ni dah berkembang.

00:11:34.970 --> 00:11:38.010
Dan sekarang digunakan terhadap kita

00:11:38.010 --> 00:11:39.380
macam kumpulan minoriti lain.

00:11:39.380 --> 00:11:41.940
Contohnya, membuat komuniti orang kulit hitam

00:11:41.940 --> 00:11:43.420
menentang komuniti orang Asia

00:11:43.420 --> 00:11:48.080
dan menggunakan orang Asia sebagai kambing
hitam untuk menyalahkan orang kulit hitam

00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:51.160
sebab tak dapat berjaya
dalam masyarakat sekarang.

00:11:51.160 --> 00:11:53.370
Diorang kata yang korang
tak cuba dengan sedaya upaya,

00:11:53.370 --> 00:11:56.240
cuba tengok orang Asia diorang

00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:59.130
Dan ini dipanggil mitos
minoriti model.

00:11:59.130 --> 00:12:02.320
Ada satu andaian ni yang mengatakan
orang Asia berpendapatan tinggi

00:12:02.320 --> 00:12:04.790
dan dah berjaya kat Barat,

00:12:04.790 --> 00:12:08.810
menolak tepi segala rasisme atau
halangan yang diorang lalui.

00:12:08.810 --> 00:12:11.120
Tapi, contohnya, kat America,

00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:13.650
orang Asians sebenarnya ada
jurang pendapatan terbesar

00:12:13.650 --> 00:12:16.830
antara yang kaya dan misking
dalam kalangan kumpulan minoriti.

00:12:16.830 --> 00:12:21.640
Terdapat 12.3% kadar kemiskinan
dalam kalangan orang Asia

00:12:21.640 --> 00:12:23.660


00:12:23.660 --> 00:12:25.980
tak ada satu jenis pengalaman orang Asia.

00:12:25.980 --> 00:12:30.010
Dan sebabkan satu jenis pengalaman

00:12:30.010 --> 00:12:32.950
digunakan terhadap kita
dan kumpulan minoriti.

00:12:32.950 --> 00:12:33.783
Teruk tau.

00:12:33.783 --> 00:12:35.320
Lagi satu benda saya nak cakap

00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:38.580
ialah ketaksuban terhadap perempuan Asia.

00:12:38.580 --> 00:12:42.890
Dibesabkan sejarah peperangan
dan penseksualan hiper

00:12:42.890 --> 00:12:43.760
perempuan Asia.

00:12:43.760 --> 00:12:46.750
Ia telah menghasilkan idea
yang perempuan Asia

00:12:46.750 --> 00:12:49.640
tunduk (kepada suami) dan dapat 
dijadikan isteri yang bagus

00:12:49.640 --> 00:12:51.620
sebab diorang tak lawan cakap.

00:12:51.620 --> 00:12:54.330
Sampai satu masa, perempuan 
Asia digambarkan

00:12:54.330 --> 00:12:57.780
sebagai bertentangan dengan feminis orang putih.

00:12:57.780 --> 00:13:02.780
Dalam artikel GQ 1990, ia menggambarkan 
perempuan Asia tipikal

00:13:03.050 --> 00:13:06.430
sebagai seorang yang "

00:13:06.430 --> 00:13:08.440


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