(upbeat music)
- Thank you to Skillshare for sponsoring today's video.
Hey everyone, it's Amanda.
So I'm doing my April, 2021 bullet journal setup
and plan with me today.
The video that you're about to see is a little bit different
from my typical plan with me videos
I'm actually going to be talking almost like podcast style
about my thoughts, about my experiences
being an Asian creator,
especially in the wake of all of the anti-Asian
violence and racism.
So that's what you guys will be hearing.
Obviously you'll still be seeing my bullet journal setup
and everything
but it won't be like my typical video
where I narrate every pencil stroke in every box that I draw
which honestly, at this point, I think is fine
because you guys have seen me set up my bullet journal setup
tons of times.
So pretty sure most of you guys
know what I'm doing at this point.
I know most of you guys will be very supportive
and encouraging about this video.
So thank you in advance.
But with that being said,
let's just get started with the setup.
(soft music)
All right.
So the bullet journal theme I decided on for April
is this black and white bamboo fossil
which was inspired by traditional Chinese ink paintings.
And the reason why I chose this is because
it actually relates to what I wanted to talk about
in my voiceover today, which is my Asian identity
and experience as well as the rise
in anti-Asian hate crimes and violence.
So of course, just as a trigger warning,
before this video if you don't wanna hear about any of this,
then, you know, maybe mute it.
Of course, with all of this,
I'm gonna be getting into some pretty serious topics.
So if you haven't been seeing what's been going on
in the news recently,
there's been a rise in anti-Asian hate crimes and violence
both in America and Canada.
And just as some statistics for you,
yes, I'm pulling out the statistics,
from 2019 to 2020 while overall hate crime
has declined by 7%,
hate crimes targeting Asians specifically
has increased by nearly 150% in America.
And in Canada, it's increased by six or 700 times
in major cities.
And these incidents involve people being coughed on,
spat on physically and verbally insulted
and of course, as we've seen in the news recently
in Atlanta, actually being killed.
So
yes, a lot of this is a result of the racist rhetoric
in the news regarding the pandemic over the past year,
you know, a certain someone calling it the Chinese flu.
But I think it's really important to point out
that a lot of it is just exposing a very deep history
of anti-Asian racism and xenophobia that is existed
in the West for centuries.
I mean, the way the West has talked about China,
even before the pandemic was often
shrouded in hatred or fear.
And you always hear about this looming presence
of communist China, as if they're trying to invade,
which has instilled a really scary and mysterious picture
of China in people's minds.
And it affects the Asian community today.
So throughout history, you can see this
systematically in the Chinese exclusion act,
which happened in both Canada and America,
the Japanese internment camps,
the Chinese head tax in Canada,
where every person immigrating from China
had to pay a fee in order to enter the country.
And as a note, no other group in Canada
has ever been forced to pay a fee
based upon where they're from.
I don't wanna take this entire voiceover
to talk about statistics and history and all of that,
because of course you didn't necessarily click this video
to hear about that.
However, you do come to my videos for me
and what I create my art and my journaling
and my Asian identity is a big part of a lot of that.
For those of you who don't know about my background
which is apparently a lot of people,
because when I Google search my name, the first thing,
like one of the first things that pops up
is Amanda racially ethnicity.
But anyway, I am a third generation Chinese Canadian.
So my grandparents were born in China
and then immigrated here to Canada.
And growing up, my Asian identity was kind of confusing
because on one hand I was clearly Chinese.
Both my parents are Chinese.
I look Chinese.
However, on the other hand, I didn't feel Chinese at all.
I was born in Canada.
My parents speak fully fluent English,
which meant I of course spoke no Chinese at all.
And I just grew up like any Canadian child.
So I really didn't connect to my Chinese side at all.
And I actually almost started to resent that side of me,
which is something I'm not very proud of
and it breaks my heart thinking back
to the way that I used to think about my own culture
and identity at the time,
I think I definitely had a lot of internalized racism.
I just remember wishing I could be white because in my head,
I was pretty much already there.
And I know that this is something
that a lot of children of immigrants go through,
that feeling of being in between two worlds,
never fully by either.
For me, this was extremely evident in my life,
even as recent as high school.
I was lucky enough to go to schools
that were pretty diverse.
And I would say that my high school
had actually quite a lot of Asians.
So I was surrounded by Asians.
But even then, there were times that I felt left out
of my Asian friends,
because since I was a third generation Chinese Canadian,
and most of them were second generation.
A lot of them spoke their respective home languages
and I only spoke English.
Additionally, I chose a career path
in the creative industries, whereas typically,
you know, Asians are associated with being doctors
or lawyers or engineers.
And granted a lot of that is pressure from parents
and society and all of that.
But a lot of people would joke that I'm a whitewashed Asian.
And I would even make that joke myself,
I think mostly as a way to dismiss it
and join in on the joke and laugh with people.
But guiltily, I think sometimes I would even take pride
in someone calling me whitewashed or someone asking me
whether I was mixed half Chinese, half white.
And it's really comes from that idea of whiteness
being the ultimate form
or the something to aspire to be.
And the fact that people saw that in me
was almost like a badge of assimilation.
Obviously now, I think that's so sad.
I wish I spoke Chinese
and I wish I had made more of an effort
to connect to my culture growing up.
And this is something that I'm still working through
and it's something that I'll have to navigate
for the rest of my life as an Asian woman.
As I mentioned, I felt left out for my Asian friends
but of course I did not 100% fit in with non-Asians either.
I mean, clearly because of the way I looked,
I'm clearly Asian.
But a lot of this was also because of the microaggressions
that I would face on a daily basis.
If you don't know what microaggressions are,
they are subtle and indirect expressions
of racism or white superiority,
kind of casual and disguised.
And they're really common,
so common that they're often dismissed
or played off as jokes.
And even though the name has micro in it,
these small statements can actually build up
to have a really large effect on minority groups.
And I have, of course dealt with all kinds
of these microaggressions and jokes
between people coming up to me
and literally singing Ching Chong to my face
to people pulling back their eyes
or to people asking me where I'm really from.
There are so many microaggressions
that minorities deal with on a daily basis.
I actually found a couple
of really great academic papers
that go through the main themes amongst microaggressions.
I won't go through all of them
but the first main one is the idea
of being an alien in your own land or country.
And it comes from the idea that all Asians
or people of color were born in foreign countries
and in everyday life, this manifests in the question
that I think pretty much every person of color
has been asked in their life.
It's the, oh, you know, where are you from?
And then ultimately when I say I'm from Canada,
you get hit with the,
no, but like where are you really from?
And although, most of the times it's from
someone who's really well-intentioned,
taking interest in your background.
The way it's expressed makes it sound like
I'm not a real Canadian,
despite the fact that I was literally born here
and I've never gone to China in my life.
By the way, if you're wondering how to ask that question,
try asking someone what their background is
or what their ethnicity is
instead of asking them where they're from.
Another microaggression theme is the denial
of race in general,
which is seen in the very common statements like,
oh, I don't see color,
there's only one race, the human race.
And this just denies a person of color's
cultural culture and racial experiences.
We're not asking people to be colorblind.
It's more so like seeing color but then accepting it
and acknowledging it.
Another example of this is when people deny
that race plays a role in people's success.
I've heard this in my own life
through debates that I've had
about diversity initiatives in companies.
People will say things like, well, you know,
the most qualified person should get the job.
They shouldn't just get it
because they're a person of color
or everyone can succeed in this society
if they just work hard enough.
And the implication there is that,
if a person of color does get the job or gets chosen
then perhaps they were given unfair benefits
and were only chosen because of their race.
But it also insinuates that the white counterpart
was probably a better fit or a better quality qualified.
And it just diminishes the very real barriers
that people of color face in society in order to succeed.
A lot of times when microaggressions like this
would happen to me, I would brush it off
or even gaslight myself saying that it wasn't
that big of a deal, or it's not worth it to make a fuss.
And I think many Asians are discouraged to speak up
about any discrimination or problems that they face.
And it comes from this idea, this instilled idea
from families not to rock the boat.
Over the years Asian immigrants have tried their best
to assimilate and to be accepted in the West,
even taking on jobs that nobody else wanted
and not causing a fuss.
However, this passiveness has eventually evolved.
And now it's used against us as well
as other minority groups.
For example, putting the black community
against the Asian community
and using Asians as a scapegoat to blame the black community
for not being able to succeed in today's society.
You know, they say that you're just not trying enough,
look at the Asians they're doing so well here.
And this is called the model minority myth.
There's this assumption that all Asians are high earners
and have succeeded in the West,
diminishing any racism or barriers that they have faced.
However, for example, in America,
Asians actually have the largest income gap
between wealthy and poor amongst minority groups.
There is a 12.3% poverty rate amongst Asians
which appears that, you know, Asians aren't a monolith,
there's not one type of Asian experience.
And the fact that that one type of experience
is used against us and other minority groups.
It's awful.
One more thing that I wanted to talk about
is the fetishization of Asian women.
Due to the history of war and hyper-sexualization
of Asian woman.
It has resulted in this idea that Asian women
are submissive and that they make great wives
because they don't talk back.
At one point, Asian women were even portrayed
as the antithesis of a white feminist.
In a 1990 GQ article, it described the typical Asian woman
as someone who "doesn't insist
on being treated like a person,
she's there when you need leave
from those angry feminists."
I don't think I need to explain why that's messed up.
But to this day, men are extremely open and forthcoming
about their Asian fetishes, not even seeing them as humans.
It's more so like an object of conquest
and you can now see how there's a definite link
between this history and the shootings that happened
in Atlanta this week, or last week,
where a man specifically targeted an Asian spa
after citing blame for his sexual addiction.
Okay.
I know I've been spewing a lot of information
which I definitely wanted this video to have a lot of
useful information for you guys to learn from.
But I,
back to my personal experience,
I wanted to talk about my experience as an Asian creator
on YouTube in specific.
I've never really talked about this too much before
and I contemplated whether I wanted to bring it up
because it is kind of hard for me to talk about.
But if you go back to my old bullet journal videos,
you'll see that I never showed my face
in the beginning of them.
I didn't even film an intro.
And in the past, around the 2017 to 2018 period,
my face was never put on the thumbnails of my videos.
And that was actually partially intentional.
This was a real conversation that I had
with my YouTube manager.
We discussed that it might be smarter to not put my face
in thumbnails so that people don't discriminate
when they're clicking videos,
if they had seen an Asian face.
Obviously eventually,
you know, I started incorporating myself more into videos
and now you guys see my vlogs.
And sometimes I put myself in thumbnails and stuff,
but that was after a substantial audience had been built.
And, you know, I think to this day,
it's still kind of sticks in the back of my mind
that my most viewed videos
are some of the ones where my face doesn't show at all
in the thumbnail or in the video.
And of course, race might not have anything to do with it,
but it really does suck to have to wonder whether
I could be more successful if I was white
or if I wasn't chosen for specific jobs
or sponsorships because of my race.
And I think it's important to acknowledge my privilege
in this situation too,
because even in the videos where
I am drawing and only my hands are showing,
my skin tone, my hands are pale and fair
and I wonder if my skin tone had been darker,
would the videos have done just as well?
I don't know, but I just do know that
in like stationary advertisements
or on Instagram,
the recommended on Pinterest or in media,
the hands that you see,
like the hand models for everything are white hands.
Anyway, so let's take it back to the present day
since we're coming up to the end of my set up here.
I think this is the last spread or two.
I wanted to talk about something that I had actually made
in Instagram story about.
If you didn't see it,
I basically said, I wish more of the stationary community
would speak up about the recent rise in
hate crimes against Asians, just because so much
of the stationary that people use are Japanese
or borrowed from traditional Asian and calligraphy and art.
I mean, I can't even list all of the
Japanese stationary brands that exist
because honestly it's pretty much all of them.
You have Moogy, Pilot, Tombo, Kuretake, Zebra,
Hobonichi and the travelers company
and way more not to mention that wash tape
is literally a Japanese word
that we've borrowed and have used as a term today.
And then of course, you have the brush pens
that people love and use in calligraphy.
And those are based on
traditional Asian calligraphy practice with a brush.
I guess I'm going into another history lesson,
but this is a calligraphy history lesson so it's fun.
But basically historically Western the calligraphy
and typography was done with a hammer chisel
and stone or a broad nib pen.
Whereas Chinese calligraphy is where you will see
the brush calligraphy.
And that was the tool that was used
in a lot of their pieces.
Additionally, Chinese calligraphy
placed a lot of value on individual style and improvisation.
Whereas in the Latin lettering,
there was an ideal structure and geometry was valued.
In Chinese calligraphy, it seen not so much
as achieving perfection or an ideal form
but almost like our record of a specific moment
as well as a practice that encourages meditation,
observation and calm energy.
It was really seen as a true art form in Asia
which is why to this day,
historians know the names of a lot of famous calligraphers
from China.
And this was very different from the Western calligrapher
or topographer.
Which was viewed as more of a utilitarian trades person,
since most of their work involved copying manuscripts.
And I think it's pretty fair
to say that a lot of modern hand lettering today
between artists and hobbyists
take on a lot of those ideals from Chinese calligraphy,
with it becoming more of a self-care relaxing hobby
versus something that is done out of necessity,
like it was in Western calligraphy historically.
Obviously, you know, a lot of calligraphy today
is also based on Western calligraphy
with like the fountain pen and Gothic forms of letters.
But I think that individual expression
and the more artistic aspect of it
has really manifested itself today
with all of the beautiful stylings
of lettering and calligraphy that you see on Instagram
and Pinterest and people really taking on that idea
of it being an art form.
As you can see in my bullet journal set up this month,
I used Japanese ink
and an actual brush to honor this beautiful history
of calligraphy art in Asian culture.
And as I was doing it,
I almost found myself in a meditative state
while I was painting the bamboo leaves.
So I can definitely connect to that historical side
of traditional calligraphy painting and art.
All that to say,
you know, not that people should need a reason
to speak up about racism,
but it's just this cherry picking of Asian culture
that bothers me.
I forgot where I had read this
but it's almost like people are out of buffet
and they're choosing what aspects they like
from Asian culture without
even actually appreciating the history or acknowledging
the negative history associated with Asian culture.
People will gladly take what Asian culture provides
whether it be sushi, anime, K-pop, yoga, bubble tea
or stationary,
but not ever fully accept us or speak up for us
when we are in need.
And since you know, we're at the last spread here
in my bullet journal setup,
this is the part where I really wanna ask you
to take notice of who's speaking up at this time,
you guys have currency
in the form of who you give a platform.
And I'm very grateful that you guys have given me a platform
and that I'm able to speak up about this stuff
because
I am very proud
that I'm able to connect with a lot of people.
One of my favorite things
is when I get comments from other Asian girls,
saying that they were inspired to join a creative field
because of me and stuff like that.
So I really don't take this platform
and privilege that I've been given lightly
and I hope other creators don't as well.
Well, okay.
Thank you guys for listening to me blog about all of this.
I really worked hard on researching things
and making sure that I gave you guys interesting
and helpful information.
You might be asking, okay,
Amanda, after all of that, what can I do to help?
And honestly,
I know you guys have seen all those Instagram infographics
of stuff.
And of course I will be linking resources like that
down below that you guys can share,
but I'll also be linking all the sources
that I used to research everything
and places to donate as well.
But really right now, one of the best things that you can do
is listen to Asian Voices as well as look inwards.
Many times people get defensive
or shut down when confronted with their own action.
But one of the greatest ways to learn
is acknowledging whether you or someone in your life
has done something that could negatively affect minorities.
Even if it's unknowingly,
like the microaggressions that I mentioned in this video.
So speak up if you see someone else
making those uncomfortable jokes,
if it's in your workplace or your family,
don't just chalk it up to someone not meaning any harm.
What else?
Oh, you can support your local Asian businesses.
I've been so worried about all of the
Asian owned restaurants who have been taking a hit
during this pandemic because of that misconception
that Asian food,
you know, Asians eat bats
and if you eat Asian food, you'll get the virus.
It's a very real thing that people have been spreading.
And not only do the Asian owners
of these businesses and restaurants
have to fear for their safety now with everything going on,
but that on top of the
financial hit
that the pandemic has given them, it's been really worrying.
And I hope that a lot of my favorite Asian businesses
and restaurants will survive after the pandemic.
And of course, please spread awareness
especially if you think your circle reaches
a lot of non-Asian people.
I always worry about things becoming a bit echo chambery
especially in my community
and that all of this awareness and information
is not reaching the people
that probably need to hear it the most.
This is why we need non-Asian allies so much at this time.
So, wow.
That was a lot.
I know this voiceover was heavy.
There was a lot of information.
And for myself, I knew that this was a video that I wanted
and needed to make.
So it was really fulfilling to research a lot
and even thinking about what I wanted to talk about
in this voiceover, it was a little bit emotional
because I really had to unlock
a lot of my childhood past growing up,
my experiences as an Asian woman.
So it was a very interesting video to make
and I hope you guys took something from it.
Thank you if anything,
just for listening to me talk about it.
I really, really do appreciate that.
Oh, and hopefully you also enjoyed watching
the setup as well.
I know I didn't talk about it too much in the video
but I really did like how the setup and theme turned out.
I love the gray scale inky look to it.
And I think it just looks very elegant
and it was calming to make as well.
Before I show you guys the final flip through
of my bullet journal setup,
I wanted to talk a little bit
about today's sponsor, Skillshare.
If you guys don't already know about Skillshare,
they are an awesome online learning community
with thousands of really inspiring classes.
And they're all geared towards creative and curious people
which I know all of you guys are.
They have tons of classes about design, illustration,
business, technology, you name it,
they probably have a class for it.
I try to take new Skillshare classes regularly
so that I can keep learning and expanding my skills
and that way I can apply it into anything,
creative that I do, whether it be my art
or my videos or my bullet journal setups.
You guys always ask me how I get inspiration
and how I stay motivated to be creative.
And I think learning new things
is a really big part of that.
Of course, a lot of you guys already know this
but I do actually have a bunch of classes
on Skillshare that are exclusive to their platform.
I have classes on creative journaling,
art journaling for mental wellness.
I have class on journaling your affirmations
with a little bit of a lettering workshops
thrown in there as well.
So if you guys want to see more content for me
then Skillshare is the perfect platform for that.
I definitely go a little bit more in depth
than I do on my channel here
just because that platform allows for it.
And that's one of the things that I do love
about the platform itself is,
just through all the diverse classes and teachers
and projects and discussion boards,
it really encourages a community
and encourages supporting fellow creative.
Also, they're always launching new premium content.
So you'll always have something to check out
if it peaks your curiosity
and it is curated for learning,
meaning there's no ads,
you're really focused in on the class that you're taking
and the projects that you're doing.
So if you guys are interested
in trying out Skillshare for yourself,
premium membership is less than $10 a month,
but Skillshare was kind enough to offer
my viewers the little doodles, a special deal.
So the first thousand subscribers of mine
who clicked the link in my description box down below
will get 30% off in annual premium membership.
And something to note,
if you've already done the free trial offer,
you can still take advantage of this deal which is awesome.
As always, a huge thank you to Skillshare.
They've always been very supportive
of me and my channel and big friend to the channel.
So check them out in the description box down below
if you guys wanted to learn some new things.
And finally, here's the full flip through
of my April, 2021 bullet journal setup,
which was my homage to traditional Asian ink paintings
and calligraphy.
I think it turned out so beautiful
and it was just so relaxing and fun to make.
All right, guys.
So that's it for my bullet journal setup.
I know it was a little bit of a different format
than what I usually do,
but hopefully you enjoyed hearing my thoughts
and maybe it made you think about some stuff on your own.
Of course, I will be leaving a bunch of links
and resources and places to donate down below.
I really, really encourage you to check some of those out.
And if you are able to donate,
it would really mean a lot to me.
And just all in all, let's be nice to each other,
let's be understanding, keep listening to people's stories.
I do want to showcase some of your guys' recreation's
from last month as I always do.
If you do want to be featured in my future video,
then make sure you tag me on Instagram @amandarachlee.
Just tag me in the photo of your recreation's
whether it be from this month or previous months set up.
And then of course, as always,
if you do want to see the rest of my weekly spread setups,
then come hang out on Twitch every Saturday
at 11:00 AM Eastern time,
I set up my weekly spreads live
and it's a nice chill little community.
Anyway, I hope you're all taking care of yourself.
Keep doodling.
And I will talk to you in the next one.
Bye everyone.
(calm music)