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Folks

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You guys ever think about how every
passing second brings us just a little bit

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closer to death?
Yeah, me neither.

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I feel like I say this all the time, but I
just turned 30 and I'll be honest,

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I'm feeling it. I remember being a kid and
hearing my dad complain about his

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back pain, and then in my head I was like,
'damn, that must suck. Good thing it's

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never gonna happen to me though!'
But alas! Here I am!

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If I sleep incorrectly, I have to take an 
Advil. Last summer I rode a roller coaster

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and I had a headache for a week.
I'm being slowly dragged to hell and I can

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feel it. But aging is a part of life, ok?
It's inevitable. We're all aging all the

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time, that's quite literally how the human
body works. But for as long as us humans

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have been around, we have been trying to
fight this natural decay that we all

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experience. And anti-aging content has
been around for a while, but lately I've

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seen an increase in popularity of anti-
aging products and techniques on TikTok

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specifically and I thought it'd be fun if
we took a look at them today.

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I should say I haven't seen a lot
personally because my For You page is

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all the way cooked. It's fuckin' burnt to
a crisp.

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But my wife has seen a lot of these videos
she's actually the one who gave me this

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video idea. So everybody say thank you 
Jenna on three. One two three

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Thank you, Jenna!

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So first off, I think that it's important
that we talk about the history of

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anti-aging products and techniques because
the concept of anti-aging in itself is

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very old and wrinkly, gross, yuck.

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Even dating all the way back to 69 BCE,
hilarious year by the way.

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In the year 69 BCE, Cleopatra apparently
took daily baths in donkey milk in order

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to maintain a youthful look.
Now I know why the dragon from Shrek looks

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so young. It's all that donkey milk.

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And in the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Léon
risked his life and set off on a journey

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to find the fabled fountain of youth. 
A spring that was said to provide eternal

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life. He never actually found the fountain
of youth, but what he found was even

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better.

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Florida.

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And that is real. He went out to find the
fountain of youth and he found the fucking

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opposite. Florida. That is the opposite of
the fountain of youth. Because most people

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down there look like an old leather couch.
People from Florida, their skin looks like

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a black metal band's logo. And there's
tons of stories like this throughout

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history. Apparently Elizabethan women
placed thin slices of raw meat directly on

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their face. I'm sure their husbands were 
pretty stoked on that.

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But one of the first anti-aging products
ever was released to the public in 1889

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and they were called Frownies. These were
like little adhesive patches that hold

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your skin tight so you don't develop
wrinkles. And the origin story of this

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product is pretty interesting. So the
inventor of Frownies apparently noticed

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some frown lines on her daughter and she
immediately got to work on a product that

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could fix her daughter's wrinkly fucked up
face. Gosh I wonder why her daughter was

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frowning so much in the first place, you 
know? Guess we'll never know.

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And since the release of Frownies in 1889,
the anti-aging world has grown

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exponentially. There's anti-aging creams,
lotions, pillows, supplements, diets,

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procedures, you can pretty much sell 
anything you want to people if you just

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tell them it will make them look younger.
That being said, buying tickets to my

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shows, and also buying my merch will
actually make you look 10 years younger.

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It's crazy. It's also not lost on me that 
like 99% of anti-aging products and

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procedures are marketed directly towards
women. You know, in this patriarchal

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society we live in, 
cause we do live in a society.

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From an early age the pressure and, like,
proposed importance of maintaining a

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youthful image is absolutely drilled into 
girls' brains through various forms of

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media and marketing.
There's this fucked up idea that, like,

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women's most valuable asset is their youth
which is, number one, incorrect and two,

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weird as fuck. It's like when you hear
people talk about an older celebrity and

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they're like, 'wow she looks so nice for
her age!'

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And it's like, yeah I don't know if you
needed those last three words.

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You could just say someone looks good,
you know?

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It's crazy cause it's kind of the opposite
for dudes. We've kind of, like, tricked

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the world into thinking that men get more
attractive as they age.

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And don't get me wrong, that is true for 
some dudes, but most old guys?

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Uhhh? Woof.

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If you think dudes get hotter with age,
you take a trip down to the fountain of

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death. AKA Florida. And you'll see what 
most old men look like.

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But I've never personally felt the, like,
societal pressure to hold onto my youth as

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a man.

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"I'm a man."

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But it happens all the time with girls
and it's still happening today.

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"Here's some things that I do to slow down
the aging process as a 14 year old.

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I started doing most of these things at
12. Number one, I take two apple cider

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vinegar pills, I do this twice a day.
Number two, I use a retinol twice a day.

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Next is, I love Korean skincare and I do
two face masks a day."

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Call me crazy but I think a literal child 
having an anti-aging routine

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is a little dystopian. Because it's like
you're already young. Why are you doing an

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anti-aging video? That's like if you saw a
TikTok of Jeff Bezos and he was like,

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'This is how I have fun on a budget.'

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It's like, dude, you don't need to worry
about that, man.

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And look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell
you what procedures not to get or what

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products not to use. It's your body, your 
decision. But I just hope with people who

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are doing these anti-aging procedures and
stuff, I just hope they're doing it for

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the right reason. 
And again, I'm not smart.

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If you want a deep, insightful commentary
on this topic, or fucking any topic,

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you're at the wrong- you're watching the
wrong guy. You got the wrong guy.

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But I guess anti-aging, you know,
it's not inherently bad, but with every

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other fucking thing on this planet, some
people are taking it a little too far.

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And I thought it'd be interesting to 
actually try out some of these anti-aging

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techniques / products and see if they have
any actual effect. But first, we have to

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actually find out how to reverse my age. 
So I think we need to go to the most

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reliable place on the internet to find
well-documented, peer-reviewed information

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on this subject.

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Tiktok!

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"You're not ugly or old, but your inner
dialog might be. If you want the ultimate

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glow-up, you won't find it in a bottle, 
but in the power of positive affirmations"

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Ding ding ding! You said the magic word!

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"Start speaking and thinking youthful
thoughts." Okay...

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"Because your thoughts shape your reality"

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Positive affirmations, manifesting, that's
a classic with this type of shit.

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Manifesting was a huge part of the video 
where I did, where I took a vision healing

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masterclass, so I'm pretty familiar with
the concept, alright? This ain't my first

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rodeo. And hey, if it works for you,
that's wicked.

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But the thing I'm confused about,
she tells people to 'think and speak

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youthful thoughts'.

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"Start speaking and thinking youthful
thoughts."

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What, what is that? What even is a
youthful thought?

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'Woah, he's so deep in thought
I wonder what he's thinking about.'

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'Just a widdle baby. I make boom boom in
my dipey and I miss my mommy. I wuv

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Cocomelon so much.'

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'Oh my god, what's that smell? 
Dude, did you shit yourself?'

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So this creator actually sells the exact
affirmations you need to say on her

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website for $10, but I unfortunately can't
buy those cause I'm just a little baby

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with no money.

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So I found a video on YouTube called 
Age Reversal Affirmations.

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"Rekindle your spirit and ignite the
passion with these reverse aging

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affirmations. Listen or repeat them for at
least 21 days in a row."

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21 days in a row? What the f-
Dude, no sleeping, no eating,

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no exercising, no doing any of the things
that will, like, keep you healthy

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and also maintain a youthful appearance

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Fuck all that.

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You just sit in your fuckin' affirmations
cave for three weeks straight.

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Imagine I walk out of my office 21 days
later fuckin' sunken in eyes and stuff

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you can see my bones

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'I've never felt so young!'

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Okay, so let's see what these affirmations
are.

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"I have the spirit of a young."
I have the spirit of a young.

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"I am glowing."
I am glowing.

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"My bones and veins are in the best shape"
My bones- my bones and veins are in the

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best shape.
Just my bones and veins though,

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everything else sucks.

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I can't really tell if these worked or not
because I haven't done them for three

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weeks straight, but I don't know, I can
already feel like I have the spirit of a

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young. The comments on this video are 
really interesting too.

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And it's like, cool. Good for these people
right? If that's what they wanna look like

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Like, personally, why would you wanna look
18 forever? That is a nightmare.

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This was me at 18.

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If I still looked like this, I would be a 
Batman villain, dude. I'd be fucking crazy

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I'd be so mad all the time.
Dude I'd be running around Gotham fuckin'

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poppin' zits on people and shit,
and I could fly because I'm, like, my-

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all my backne is popping so much
all the pus coming out, the force of all

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my back zits popping just-

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Sorry, moving on from that horrifying 
picture of 18-year-old me

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So we know there's a lot of products and
procedures that exist out there to slow

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the aging process. But
even that's not enough for some people.

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One man in particular is going to extreme
lengths to not just slow the aging process

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but reverse it entirely.
And his name is Bryan Johnson.

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I wish his last name was Griffin.
That'd be so savage.

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So this Bryan Johnson guy is a Mormon 
entrepreneur and venture capitalist from

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Utah.

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I know, pretty crazy, a Mormon from Utah?
Now I have seen everything.

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And I'm sure some of you have probably
seen this guy around the internet talking

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about his age reversal endeavours, but the
shit he does is pretty fuckin' insane

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in my personal opinion.

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I watched his full morning routine and it
is wild.

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"I just woke up-"

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I'm not gonna play the whole thing cause
it's pretty lengthy, but I'll do a quick

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run through.

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He stars off his morning by taking his
temperature. He then stands in front of a

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light that imitates sunlight because he 
wakes up before the sun rises of course.

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He then takes iron and vitamin C, he then
weighs himself every morning by the way

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and not just his body weight.

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"Weight, BMI, fat, muscle, visceral fat,
water, bone, heart rate and EBA.

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It also gives me the air quality in the 
area."

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Dude, I will go to the greatest lengths to
not weigh myself. This guy does it every

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morning. Fuckin respect. Because for me,
that is fucking torture, dude.

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Nah, maybe torture is a strong word. I can
imagine a Saw trap that's like

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"Stand on the scale, or die."

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Bryan then does five minutes of blue light
therapy, he then does a meditation,

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some weird vibrator thing that he never
really explains fully. He puts in eyedrops

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and then he prepares his daily pills.
And this has gotta be the craziest shit I

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have ever seen. Think of how many pills
he's gonna have.

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It's more than that.

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I don't know how many pills are in here,
I think last time we recorded it was

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something like over 50, maybe 60.
That looks like a lot more, I'm not sure

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what's going on here."

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50 to 60 pills every day? Buddy swallows a
fuckin' entire pharmacy every morning dude

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That is wild, he's gotta tone it down. 
I think Bryan's gotta incorporate a couple

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of chill pills in there as well because
Jesus Christ man.

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But Bryan still isn't done. He now puts
red light on his head to prevent hair loss

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and if red light prevents hair loss, looks
like I'm keeping mine forever.

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Sometimes when I'm driving, I hit so many
red lights.

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Then he preps his food for the day.

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"This is what I'm gonna eat after we work
out. Yeah, overall it's a lot of

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vegetables every month. It's over
50 pounds, I think."

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I hate to break it to you man, but that's
shit from a butt.

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"I know people look at it and they say
it's green goop and they like to make fun

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of it."

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Of course I'm gonna make fun of it, dude. 
That looks like baby shit, what the fuck?

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I found out this guy has a son too. That's
gotta suck to have this guy as a dad.

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'Sorry son, you're grounded.'

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'Eat shit, dad.'

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'I do.'

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He's still not done by the way. He then 
prepares his second meal of the day which

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he calls nutty pudding
"Nutty pudding-"

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which is like a protein powder that he
actually sells on his website.

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Maybe it's called that because you gotta
be a little nutty if you're gonna be

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'pudding' that into your body.

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And would you believe me if I told you
his morning routine still isn't done?

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No it's not!

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We're like fuckin' halfway through it dude
by the time this morning routine is done

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he's gonna have to start his bedtime 
routine. Because Jesus this is taking all

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fuckin' day.

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So after making his poop and sand, he does
a quick workout and then he finally eats

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his breakfast. That honestly seems like so
much work compared to my morning routine.

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My entire morning routine can be summed up
with the first two words of Chop Suey by

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System of a Down.

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"Wake up-"

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That's it man, that's it. I'm awake.
And that's the thing, it's wild seeing

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morning routines like this because, like,
who is this for? I made this point in my

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Living Like a Billionaire for a Week video
but like 99% of people do not have the

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time to do this shit when they wake up.
He says in this video that his morning

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routine can take up to four hours.

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"My morning routine is about three to four
hours, it varies on any given day

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sometimes I go-"
Too long.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is just not realistic to normal 
people. But honestly, I don't know why

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm getting so hung up on this guy, like
who even cares what this guy has to say

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
anyway? He doesn't even have the erection
of an 18-year-old.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, yeah. I feel like even a manicurist
would say that's the grossest thumbnail

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they've ever seen. What the fuck is that.
I also found this really interesting video

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of Bryan Johnson. He's using yet some
other fuckin' crazy contraption to make

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himself younger.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Today I'm going to show you the machine I
use that allows me to do the equivalent of

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20,000 sit-ups in 30 minutes time.
I've set the machine to 100% and 15 so

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it's the max level. This is definitely not
something you wanns start with

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
what it feels like is, it's pulling your 
entire stomach out. Like ripping it out.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Strap it on-"

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Imagine he starts the machine and it's
just like, 'aaaah! It hurts, it hurts!

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Kill me! Just kill me, put me out of my
misery, aaaah!'

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>Exercise complete</i>

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Alright, now if you guys want one of these
hit the link in my bio.

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Also, like a part of his face is like
discoloured in this, it's like yellow.

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His face is like yellow in this video. 
I don't know if that's healthy, right?

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Is he going through the new experimental
Simpsons treatment?

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So yeah, this Bryan Johnson guy is like 
the final boss of anti-aging

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but I don't think I'm ready to experience
that just yet, I gotta work my way up

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right? 
And I think I found the perfect person.

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His name is Brandon Miles May, or
@brandonskincare

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and he has been getting pretty popular on
TikTok recently and here's why.

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"I'm 35 and many people ask me if I don't
smile or laugh to prevent fine lines and

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
wrinkles. And it's not true, I do laugh
and I do smile. This is how I laugh

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
without using Botox and for preventing 
fine lines and wrinkles. Ahaha, ahaha!"

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, so he's obviously doing a bit in
this video, but this guy is allegedly 35

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
years old. For someone who looks that
young, I'd assume he would have like a

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
fucking Jimmy Neutron-sized head
because his head's gotta be full of

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
youthful thoughts.

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When I first saw this video, I felt like I
was being, like, possessed by a far right

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conservative because all I wanted to
comment was, 'show me your birth

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
certificate.' Because I just couldn't
fucking believe it, honestly still kinda

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
don't believe it, but that is the story
he's sticking with, so that's great.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He takes this shit pretty serious so, you
know what? Sure. He's 35.

252
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This guy is five years older than me.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And Brandon's entire internet persona is
based around anti-aging.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He eats food for the sole purpose of
anti-aging. Same as his skincare routine.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Even his clothing helps him stay young.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Anti-aging outfit of the day! 
Are you ready for this?"

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"So today is really warm, so it's pretty
basic. I have a UPF 50 hoodie on

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right here this is- has the thumb holes
for the backs of the hands, but I can also

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
use this to protect the sides of my face,
I have my big sunglasses on to protect

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
like pretty much half of my face,
I have a UPF 50 cap that has a long bill

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm wearing J.Crew shorts and sunscreen on
my legs."

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you can tell, any clothing that Brandon
wears it, uh, it protects him from the sun

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because according to him the sun is the
main contributor to the aging of the skin.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I just practice safe sun protective 
behaviours because the sun contributes

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
up to 90% of the skin's visible signs of
aging."

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he's not wrong. the sun is incredibly
dangerous for your skin if you don't

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
protect yourself. So he wears clothing
that is UPF 50, and that stands for

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ultraviolet Protection Factor.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And apparently UPF 50 clothing blocks 98%
of the sun's rays.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This guy would probably still be a fuckin'
baby if it blocked 100%.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I gotta say though, including the
sunscreen in the fit check-

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"And sunscreen on my legs-"

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's genuinely one of the funniest
things I've ever seen.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
People gotta start getting like super 
specific like that in those like

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'walk me through your fit' videos.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Alright, walk me through your fit."

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Alright well first off I got the toupee
on my head, Gucci t-shirts,

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
swollen nipples from when my older brother
purple nurpled me this morning,

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Dolce & Gabbana jeans, preparation H on my
haemorrhoid, herpes medication on my

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
wiener and I got the Prada shoes with my
ankle monitor from my house arrest."

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"House arrest?"

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Police! Get your hands up,
get down on the ground!"

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Also just copped a taser in the back."

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And this is all well and good, but I feel
like at a certain point it's like kind of

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
impossible to avoid the sun. And also like
why would you rob yourself of that joy?

286
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There's like no better feeling than having
the sun on your face.

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like what about when you're driving,
what are you gonna do then?

288
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe like, you know those sun blockers
that people put on their car windows when

289
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they park their car?

290
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I imagine Brandon just has that over his 
windshield at all times, just absolutely

291
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
mowing people down, can't see shit...

292
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sorry, let's get back to Brandon,
let's see what kind of food he's eating so

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99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he can keep that youthful glow.

294
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Here's what I'm eating for dinner tonight
for the purposes of anti-aging.

295
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is steamed broccoli and steamed bell
peppers, the broccoli is high in vitamin C

296
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
good for collagen synthesis, it also
contains sulforaphane which increases NRF2

297
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
NRF2 pathway-"
<i>overlapping dialog</i>

298
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This guy's just making up words.
What the fuck was all that shit.

299
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm convinced he's speaking in tongues
dude, he needs to be, he needs to be

300
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
exorcised by a priest. And I can't help
but think about that tweet,

301
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of a person who's meal prepping broccoli,
chicken and eggs and someone quote tweeted

302
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it with, 'okay mr fart'.

303
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's all I'm thinking of when I look at
that dinner, dude. This dude's farts could

304
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
probably make you hallucinate bro.
Oh, you know what? Maybe that's what UPF

305
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
stands for. Ur Prolly Farting.

306
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I also just watched a video from Brandon
saying that he eats pizza once a quarter.

307
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I would say about 95% of the time I eat
everything that I show here on TikTok

308
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
about 5% of the time, yes I'll go out with
a friend or like my partner or somebody

309
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and we will maybe get pizza, maybe like
every quarter or so we might have pizza

310
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it's not like a big deal for me."

311
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which sounds like a brutal existence dude,
a pizza every quarter?

312
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just one pizza a quarter?

313
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'd have a quarter of a pizza every hour
if I could, dude.

314
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like I said earlier, I wanna see how
effective this anti-aging lifestyle really

315
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is. So for the next week, I'm gonna live 
my life the exact same way Brandon does.

316
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And we'll see if I end up looking any
younger. But first, we need to lock down a

317
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
daily routine.

318
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay so luckily, Brandon has a lot of
videos detailing pretty much everything he

319
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
does in a typical day for anti-aging.
Let's start off with what I'm gonna be

320
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
eating this week.

321
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He has a video called
'What I eat in a day for anti-aging'.

322
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
To summarise that video, Brandon has a 
dark roast coffee in the morning and then

323
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
an hour or two later, he has breakfast
which sucks for me because the first thing

324
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
on my mind when I wake up is what I'm
gonna eat for breakfast.

325
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
For breakfast he says he makes a green
smoothie on days where he isn't fasting.

326
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I figured I'd do a smoothie pretty much
every day and then one day I'll try to go

327
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
fasting and see how that goes.

328
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then a few hours later he makes a
humongous salad for lunch.

329
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He then makes a hot chocolate made of 100%
cacao, cocoa powder, almon milk and salt.

330
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I don't know about you guys but I like
my hot chocolate sweet as hell.

331
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So let's see how he sweetens it.

332
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"No sweetener, I don't add any sweetener 
or sugar, so it is bitter."

333
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Great.

334
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And for dinner, Brandon usually does
salmon or some other kind of fish for

335
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
omega-3. I don't know what those are, it
sounds like it could be one of the fuckin'

336
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Autobots.
'Omega-3, roll out.'

337
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then alongside the salmon Brandon also
has broccoli and

338
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"my favourite fall vegetable, a sweet
potato."

339
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then for dessert he does frozen
blueberries and dark chocolate.

340
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So that's gonna be pretty much my diet
every single day this week.

341
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And there were some other foods in his 
TikTok and stuff, like hard boiled eggs

342
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and avocado and stuff that I'll sprinkle
in here and there.

343
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And also, god, real quick. I gotta say,
love the energy Brandon's YouTube profile

344
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
picture is giving off, I love it dude.
It looks like I'm seeing him through a

345
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
peephole.
And obviously another pinnacle of

346
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
anti-aging is exercise. 
Brandon starts his day with a 10 minute

347
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
stretch, and this next part's gonna be
pretty hard, but Brandon aims to hit

348
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
20,000 steps a day.

349
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I've been trying to reach for 20,000
steps-"

350
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's a lot of steps, ok? Especially to
a guy who has mastered the art of parking

351
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it, but Brandon actually uses this little 
treadmill, this like walking pad while he

352
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
works and stuff, so I went ahead and
ordered that same treadmill because

353
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I can't possibly think of another way to
get 20,000 steps in a day.

354
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Especially during the summertime.

355
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brandon then does some weightlifting with
some 12-pound weights

356
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and that'll be no problem.

357
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that's his daily workout routine.
Seems pretty low impact, which is nice.

358
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But compared to my usual workout routine
that consists of 20 reps of hanging out

359
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
followed by three sets of chilling,
this is gonna be a big change for me.

360
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, yeah. The only push up I do is push up
on the D-pad, cause I'm a freaking gamer.

361
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I paused my game to be here.

362
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know I can eat and exercise all I want
but if I don't look the part then

363
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
what am I doing? So I'm gonna order 
some UPF 50 clothing as well.

364
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And wow, look at these.
Holy crap, these are ugly.

365
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They're not ugly, sorry. 
They're just not what I would wear.

366
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's like, there's not even one ironic
vintage graphic t-shirt on here

367
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
what the fuck?

368
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I guess it's nice that these clothes
protect you from the sun, but it doesn't

369
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
say anything about protecting you from 
insults. So I'm pretty nervous about that.

370
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I'm gonna give these a genuine try.
So I'm gonna order some of these.

371
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And last but not least, Brandon made a 
video going through some tips and tricks

372
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
about anti-aging that nobody really talks
about.

373
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"So whenever I am, like, cooking a meal
and I'm baking and I'm using the oven,

374
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I will be very very hesitant to just reach
my hand in there with just a mitten."

375
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Damn, your skin can't even get warm?
What the fuck? That's not real.

376
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"People who bake things for a living have
more aged skin on their dominant hand

377
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the hand that they use for putting things
in the oven and pulling things out."

378
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Also the example he uses...

379
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He says people who work in kitchens
age poorly?

380
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That might be true, but I can guarantee
you that's not because of the heat.

381
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've worked in restaurants before, ok?
If it's not the cigarettes, booze and

382
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>sniff</i>

383
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that ages them poorly, it's the
unnecessary amount of stress they put

384
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
themselves through.

385
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Ugh I'm so mad, the restaurant I work at
that sells food is selling too much food.

386
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I gotta yell at Curtis and get more hand 
tattoos about this.'

387
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sorry to all the line cooks and stuff
out there but I think that's just personal

388
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
work trauma I'm working through that-
nothing on you guys.

389
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Tip number two, flying in airplanes, 
I always choose a window seat so that

390
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I can control when the window is up and
down because when you're in higher

391
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
altitudes, UV- UVA in particular is
strongest at those highest altitudes-"

392
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah I guess that makes sense, but like a
couple hours of sunlight isn't gonna

393
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
fucking kill you. Well actually, I don't
know. It might kill him.

394
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know.

395
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
As you get on a flight, you're in the
window seat, sitting next to you is

396
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brandon Skincare, you look over, you open
the window, sun shines through and then

397
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you look back at Brandon and there's just
a pile of ash there.

398
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Tip number three is wearing white
clothing. The sun comes down and reflects

399
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
UV off of that white significantly more so
than any other colour."

400
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Alright, this is terrible news for me
because I actually really love wearing

401
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
white t-shirts, that's my favourite thing 
to wear because I got this cool thing

402
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
called dandruff. So when I wear black my
shoulders kind of look like a fuckin'

403
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Charli XCX concert. But who knows? Maybe
all this healthy eating I do this week

404
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
will somehow cure my dandruff.

405
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"When you have bright lights on at night,
like just everywhere in your house and

406
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you're watching TV and you're on your
phone and you're on your devices

407
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
this blue light and this visible light is
stimulating your serotonin levels when

408
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it's not supposed to be stimulated, and 
your circadian rhythm is getting all out

409
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of whack."

410
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Got, this is also gonna be a huge change. 
Like I'm playing video games and working

411
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
until like 1AM fuckin' like every night.

412
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Literally the lonely stoner seems to free
his mind at night, I don't know if he's

413
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
heard that before. 
But now Brandon's saying no bright lights

414
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
at night? That ain't right!

415
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"And also socialising and connecting with 
others is really really important."

416
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, so I gotta hang out with my friends
and my wife this week.

417
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think I can make that happen.

418
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Maintaining an overall positive attitude
just overall can be connected to these

419
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
things, you know relaxation and reducing
negativity. Negativity is a powerful

420
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
detriment to your anti-aging goals.
A lot of people who are just negative

421
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
overall tend to have a reduced life span 
and just more health issues overall,

422
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
tends to be a correlation there, 
an association."

423
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's dumb. That's stupid.

424
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Fuck dude, being negative shortens your
life? Nice knowing you guys!

425
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jesus Christ dude.

426
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"And number 10 tip is basically not
drinking alcohol-"

427
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay. Come on, man.

428
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How you gonna tell me to be social but not
have any alcohol?

429
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, great thing for anti-aging is to go 
skydiving but don't wear a parachute!

430
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe he's just talking about hard liquor,
right?

431
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'I'm sure he's not meaning 100 million
beers, right friend?'

432
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I just don't drink personally because I 
know that there's really no benefit to

433
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
alcohol."

434
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No benefits to alcohol? Okay, you tell
that to my hands that I'm not sure what to

435
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
do with at a concert.

436
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Alright, I think we've got a firm
understanding of what my anti-aging week

437
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is gonna look like, but I think before I
dive into the shallow end and break my

438
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
neck, I need one final day of getting all
the fun shit I like doing out of my system

439
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I got a haircut.

440
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I had my quarterly pizza the night
before my week of anti-aging

441
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and with a chest full of heartburn
I stared at my computer screen for the

442
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
rest of the night. I've been really busy 
getting ready for tour and everything

443
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I knew I wasn't gonna have that much
time to do it this week, so I had to get

444
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as much done as I possibly could.

445
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That being said, I also played some video
games.

446
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you're wondering what video game I was 
playing, then you're in luck.