0:00:02.502,0:00:06.502 Folks 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You guys ever think about how every[br]passing second brings us just a little bit 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 closer to death?[br]Yeah, me neither. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I feel like I say this all the time, but I[br]just turned 30 and I'll be honest, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm feeling it. I remember being a kid and[br]hearing my dad complain about his 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 back pain, and then in my head I was like,[br]'damn, that must suck. Good thing it's 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 never gonna happen to me though!'[br]But alas! Here I am! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If I sleep incorrectly, I have to take an [br]Advil. Last summer I rode a roller coaster 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I had a headache for a week.[br]I'm being slowly dragged to hell and I can 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 feel it. But aging is a part of life, ok?[br]It's inevitable. We're all aging all the 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 time, that's quite literally how the human[br]body works. But for as long as us humans 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 have been around, we have been trying to[br]fight this natural decay that we all 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 experience. And anti-aging content has[br]been around for a while, but lately I've 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 seen an increase in popularity of anti-[br]aging products and techniques on TikTok 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 specifically and I thought it'd be fun if[br]we took a look at them today. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I should say I haven't seen a lot[br]personally because my For You page is 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 all the way cooked. It's fuckin' burnt to[br]a crisp. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But my wife has seen a lot of these videos[br]she's actually the one who gave me this 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 video idea. So everybody say thank you [br]Jenna on three. One two three 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Thank you, Jenna! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So first off, I think that it's important[br]that we talk about the history of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 anti-aging products and techniques because[br]the concept of anti-aging in itself is 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 very old and wrinkly, gross, yuck. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Even dating all the way back to 69 BCE,[br]hilarious year by the way. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 In the year 69 BCE, Cleopatra apparently[br]took daily baths in donkey milk in order 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to maintain a youthful look.[br]Now I know why the dragon from Shrek looks 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 so young. It's all that donkey milk. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And in the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Léon[br]risked his life and set off on a journey 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to find the fabled fountain of youth. [br]A spring that was said to provide eternal 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 life. He never actually found the fountain[br]of youth, but what he found was even 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 better. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Florida. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And that is real. He went out to find the[br]fountain of youth and he found the fucking 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 opposite. Florida. That is the opposite of[br]the fountain of youth. Because most people 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 down there look like an old leather couch.[br]People from Florida, their skin looks like 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 a black metal band's logo. And there's[br]tons of stories like this throughout 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 history. Apparently Elizabethan women[br]placed thin slices of raw meat directly on 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 their face. I'm sure their husbands were [br]pretty stoked on that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But one of the first anti-aging products[br]ever was released to the public in 1889 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and they were called Frownies. These were[br]like little adhesive patches that hold 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 your skin tight so you don't develop[br]wrinkles. And the origin story of this 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 product is pretty interesting. So the[br]inventor of Frownies apparently noticed 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 some frown lines on her daughter and she[br]immediately got to work on a product that 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 could fix her daughter's wrinkly fucked up[br]face. Gosh I wonder why her daughter was 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 frowning so much in the first place, you [br]know? Guess we'll never know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And since the release of Frownies in 1889,[br]the anti-aging world has grown 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 exponentially. There's anti-aging creams,[br]lotions, pillows, supplements, diets, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 procedures, you can pretty much sell [br]anything you want to people if you just 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 tell them it will make them look younger.[br]That being said, buying tickets to my 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 shows, and also buying my merch will[br]actually make you look 10 years younger. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's crazy. It's also not lost on me that [br]like 99% of anti-aging products and 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 procedures are marketed directly towards[br]women. You know, in this patriarchal 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 society we live in, [br]cause we do live in a society. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 From an early age the pressure and, like,[br]proposed importance of maintaining a 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 youthful image is absolutely drilled into [br]girls' brains through various forms of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 media and marketing.[br]There's this fucked up idea that, like, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 women's most valuable asset is their youth[br]which is, number one, incorrect and two, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 weird as fuck. It's like when you hear[br]people talk about an older celebrity and 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they're like, 'wow she looks so nice for[br]her age!' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it's like, yeah I don't know if you[br]needed those last three words. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You could just say someone looks good,[br]you know? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's crazy cause it's kind of the opposite[br]for dudes. We've kind of, like, tricked 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the world into thinking that men get more[br]attractive as they age. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And don't get me wrong, that is true for [br]some dudes, but most old guys? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Uhhh? Woof. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you think dudes get hotter with age,[br]you take a trip down to the fountain of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 death. AKA Florida. And you'll see what [br]most old men look like. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I've never personally felt the, like,[br]societal pressure to hold onto my youth as 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 a man. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I'm a man." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But it happens all the time with girls[br]and it's still happening today. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Here's some things that I do to slow down[br]the aging process as a 14 year old. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I started doing most of these things at[br]12. Number one, I take two apple cider 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 vinegar pills, I do this twice a day.[br]Number two, I use a retinol twice a day. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Next is, I love Korean skincare and I do[br]two face masks a day." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Call me crazy but I think a literal child [br]having an anti-aging routine 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 is a little dystopian. Because it's like[br]you're already young. Why are you doing an 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 anti-aging video? That's like if you saw a[br]TikTok of Jeff Bezos and he was like, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'This is how I have fun on a budget.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's like, dude, you don't need to worry[br]about that, man. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell[br]you what procedures not to get or what 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 products not to use. It's your body, your [br]decision. But I just hope with people who 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 are doing these anti-aging procedures and[br]stuff, I just hope they're doing it for 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the right reason. [br]And again, I'm not smart. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you want a deep, insightful commentary[br]on this topic, or fucking any topic, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you're at the wrong- you're watching the[br]wrong guy. You got the wrong guy. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I guess anti-aging, you know,[br]it's not inherently bad, but with every 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 other fucking thing on this planet, some[br]people are taking it a little too far. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I thought it'd be interesting to [br]actually try out some of these anti-aging 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 techniques / products and see if they have[br]any actual effect. But first, we have to 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 actually find out how to reverse my age. [br]So I think we need to go to the most 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 reliable place on the internet to find[br]well-documented, peer-reviewed information 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 on this subject. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Tiktok! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "You're not ugly or old, but your inner[br]dialog might be. If you want the ultimate 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 glow-up, you won't find it in a bottle, [br]but in the power of positive affirmations" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Ding ding ding! You said the magic word! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Start speaking and thinking youthful[br]thoughts." Okay... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Because your thoughts shape your reality" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Positive affirmations, manifesting, that's[br]a classic with this type of shit. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Manifesting was a huge part of the video [br]where I did, where I took a vision healing 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 masterclass, so I'm pretty familiar with[br]the concept, alright? This ain't my first 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 rodeo. And hey, if it works for you,[br]that's wicked. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But the thing I'm confused about,[br]she tells people to 'think and speak 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 youthful thoughts'. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Start speaking and thinking youthful[br]thoughts." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 What, what is that? What even is a[br]youthful thought? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'Woah, he's so deep in thought[br]I wonder what he's thinking about.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'Just a widdle baby. I make boom boom in[br]my dipey and I miss my mommy. I wuv 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Cocomelon so much.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'Oh my god, what's that smell? [br]Dude, did you shit yourself?' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So this creator actually sells the exact[br]affirmations you need to say on her 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 website for $10, but I unfortunately can't[br]buy those cause I'm just a little baby 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 with no money. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I found a video on YouTube called [br]Age Reversal Affirmations. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Rekindle your spirit and ignite the[br]passion with these reverse aging 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 affirmations. Listen or repeat them for at[br]least 21 days in a row." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 21 days in a row? What the f-[br]Dude, no sleeping, no eating, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 no exercising, no doing any of the things[br]that will, like, keep you healthy 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and also maintain a youthful appearance 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Fuck all that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You just sit in your fuckin' affirmations[br]cave for three weeks straight. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Imagine I walk out of my office 21 days[br]later fuckin' sunken in eyes and stuff 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you can see my bones 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'I've never felt so young!' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Okay, so let's see what these affirmations[br]are. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I have the spirit of a young."[br]I have the spirit of a young. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I am glowing."[br]I am glowing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "My bones and veins are in the best shape"[br]My bones- my bones and veins are in the 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 best shape.[br]Just my bones and veins though, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 everything else sucks. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I can't really tell if these worked or not[br]because I haven't done them for three 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 weeks straight, but I don't know, I can[br]already feel like I have the spirit of a 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 young. The comments on this video are [br]really interesting too. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And it's like, cool. Good for these people[br]right? If that's what they wanna look like 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Like, personally, why would you wanna look[br]18 forever? That is a nightmare. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This was me at 18. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If I still looked like this, I would be a [br]Batman villain, dude. I'd be fucking crazy 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'd be so mad all the time.[br]Dude I'd be running around Gotham fuckin' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 poppin' zits on people and shit,[br]and I could fly because I'm, like, my- 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 all my backne is popping so much[br]all the pus coming out, the force of all 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 my back zits popping just- 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sorry, moving on from that horrifying [br]picture of 18-year-old me 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So we know there's a lot of products and[br]procedures that exist out there to slow 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the aging process. But[br]even that's not enough for some people. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 One man in particular is going to extreme[br]lengths to not just slow the aging process 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but reverse it entirely.[br]And his name is Bryan Johnson. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I wish his last name was Griffin.[br]That'd be so savage. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So this Bryan Johnson guy is a Mormon [br]entrepreneur and venture capitalist from 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Utah. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I know, pretty crazy, a Mormon from Utah?[br]Now I have seen everything. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I'm sure some of you have probably[br]seen this guy around the internet talking 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 about his age reversal endeavours, but the[br]shit he does is pretty fuckin' insane 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 in my personal opinion. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I watched his full morning routine and it[br]is wild. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I just woke up-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm not gonna play the whole thing cause[br]it's pretty lengthy, but I'll do a quick 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 run through. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He stars off his morning by taking his[br]temperature. He then stands in front of a 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 light that imitates sunlight because he [br]wakes up before the sun rises of course. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He then takes iron and vitamin C, he then[br]weighs himself every morning by the way 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and not just his body weight. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Weight, BMI, fat, muscle, visceral fat,[br]water, bone, heart rate and EBA. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It also gives me the air quality in the [br]area." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Dude, I will go to the greatest lengths to[br]not weigh myself. This guy does it every 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 morning. Fuckin respect. Because for me,[br]that is fucking torture, dude. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Nah, maybe torture is a strong word. I can[br]imagine a Saw trap that's like 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Stand on the scale, or die." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Bryan then does five minutes of blue light[br]therapy, he then does a meditation, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 some weird vibrator thing that he never[br]really explains fully. He puts in eyedrops 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and then he prepares his daily pills.[br]And this has gotta be the craziest shit I 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 have ever seen. Think of how many pills[br]he's gonna have. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's more than that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I don't know how many pills are in here,[br]I think last time we recorded it was 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 something like over 50, maybe 60.[br]That looks like a lot more, I'm not sure 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 what's going on here." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 50 to 60 pills every day? Buddy swallows a[br]fuckin' entire pharmacy every morning dude 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That is wild, he's gotta tone it down. [br]I think Bryan's gotta incorporate a couple 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of chill pills in there as well because[br]Jesus Christ man. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But Bryan still isn't done. He now puts[br]red light on his head to prevent hair loss 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and if red light prevents hair loss, looks[br]like I'm keeping mine forever. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sometimes when I'm driving, I hit so many[br]red lights. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Then he preps his food for the day. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "This is what I'm gonna eat after we work[br]out. Yeah, overall it's a lot of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 vegetables every month. It's over[br]50 pounds, I think." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I hate to break it to you man, but that's[br]shit from a butt. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I know people look at it and they say[br]it's green goop and they like to make fun 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of it." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Of course I'm gonna make fun of it, dude. [br]That looks like baby shit, what the fuck? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I found out this guy has a son too. That's[br]gotta suck to have this guy as a dad. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'Sorry son, you're grounded.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'Eat shit, dad.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'I do.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He's still not done by the way. He then [br]prepares his second meal of the day which 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 he calls nutty pudding[br]"Nutty pudding-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 which is like a protein powder that he[br]actually sells on his website. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Maybe it's called that because you gotta[br]be a little nutty if you're gonna be 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'pudding' that into your body. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And would you believe me if I told you[br]his morning routine still isn't done? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 No it's not! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We're like fuckin' halfway through it dude[br]by the time this morning routine is done 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 he's gonna have to start his bedtime [br]routine. Because Jesus this is taking all 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 fuckin' day. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So after making his poop and sand, he does[br]a quick workout and then he finally eats 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 his breakfast. That honestly seems like so[br]much work compared to my morning routine. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 My entire morning routine can be summed up[br]with the first two words of Chop Suey by 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 System of a Down. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Wake up-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's it man, that's it. I'm awake.[br]And that's the thing, it's wild seeing 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 morning routines like this because, like,[br]who is this for? I made this point in my 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Living Like a Billionaire for a Week video[br]but like 99% of people do not have the 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 time to do this shit when they wake up.[br]He says in this video that his morning 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 routine can take up to four hours. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "My morning routine is about three to four[br]hours, it varies on any given day 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 sometimes I go-"[br]Too long. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This is just not realistic to normal [br]people. But honestly, I don't know why 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm getting so hung up on this guy, like[br]who even cares what this guy has to say 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 anyway? He doesn't even have the erection[br]of an 18-year-old. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Uh, yeah. I feel like even a manicurist[br]would say that's the grossest thumbnail 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they've ever seen. What the fuck is that.[br]I also found this really interesting video 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of Bryan Johnson. He's using yet some[br]other fuckin' crazy contraption to make 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 himself younger. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Today I'm going to show you the machine I[br]use that allows me to do the equivalent of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 20,000 sit-ups in 30 minutes time.[br]I've set the machine to 100% and 15 so 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it's the max level. This is definitely not[br]something you wanns start with 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 what it feels like is, it's pulling your [br]entire stomach out. Like ripping it out. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Strap it on-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Imagine he starts the machine and it's[br]just like, 'aaaah! It hurts, it hurts! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Kill me! Just kill me, put me out of my[br]misery, aaaah!' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Exercise complete 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Alright, now if you guys want one of these[br]hit the link in my bio. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Also, like a part of his face is like[br]discoloured in this, it's like yellow. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 His face is like yellow in this video. [br]I don't know if that's healthy, right? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Is he going through the new experimental[br]Simpsons treatment? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So yeah, this Bryan Johnson guy is like [br]the final boss of anti-aging 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but I don't think I'm ready to experience[br]that just yet, I gotta work my way up 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 right? [br]And I think I found the perfect person. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 His name is Brandon Miles May, or[br]@brandonskincare 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and he has been getting pretty popular on[br]TikTok recently and here's why. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I'm 35 and many people ask me if I don't[br]smile or laugh to prevent fine lines and 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 wrinkles. And it's not true, I do laugh[br]and I do smile. This is how I laugh 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 without using Botox and for preventing [br]fine lines and wrinkles. Ahaha, ahaha!" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yeah, so he's obviously doing a bit in[br]this video, but this guy is allegedly 35 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 years old. For someone who looks that[br]young, I'd assume he would have like a 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 fucking Jimmy Neutron-sized head[br]because his head's gotta be full of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 youthful thoughts. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 When I first saw this video, I felt like I[br]was being, like, possessed by a far right 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 conservative because all I wanted to[br]comment was, 'show me your birth 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 certificate.' Because I just couldn't[br]fucking believe it, honestly still kinda 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 don't believe it, but that is the story[br]he's sticking with, so that's great. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He takes this shit pretty serious so, you[br]know what? Sure. He's 35. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This guy is five years older than me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And Brandon's entire internet persona is[br]based around anti-aging. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He eats food for the sole purpose of[br]anti-aging. Same as his skincare routine. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Even his clothing helps him stay young. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Anti-aging outfit of the day! [br]Are you ready for this?" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "So today is really warm, so it's pretty[br]basic. I have a UPF 50 hoodie on 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 right here this is- has the thumb holes[br]for the backs of the hands, but I can also 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 use this to protect the sides of my face,[br]I have my big sunglasses on to protect 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 like pretty much half of my face,[br]I have a UPF 50 cap that has a long bill 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm wearing J.Crew shorts and sunscreen on[br]my legs." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you can tell, any clothing that Brandon[br]wears it, uh, it protects him from the sun 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because according to him the sun is the[br]main contributor to the aging of the skin. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I just practice safe sun protective [br]behaviours because the sun contributes 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 up to 90% of the skin's visible signs of[br]aging." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And he's not wrong. the sun is incredibly[br]dangerous for your skin if you don't 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 protect yourself. So he wears clothing[br]that is UPF 50, and that stands for 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Ultraviolet Protection Factor. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And apparently UPF 50 clothing blocks 98%[br]of the sun's rays. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This guy would probably still be a fuckin'[br]baby if it blocked 100%. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I gotta say though, including the[br]sunscreen in the fit check- 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "And sunscreen on my legs-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's genuinely one of the funniest[br]things I've ever seen. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 People gotta start getting like super [br]specific like that in those like 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'walk me through your fit' videos. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Alright, walk me through your fit." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Alright well first off I got the toupee[br]on my head, Gucci t-shirts, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 swollen nipples from when my older brother[br]purple nurpled me this morning, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Dolce & Gabbana jeans, preparation H on my[br]haemorrhoid, herpes medication on my 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 wiener and I got the Prada shoes with my[br]ankle monitor from my house arrest." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "House arrest?" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Police! Get your hands up,[br]get down on the ground!" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Also just copped a taser in the back." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And this is all well and good, but I feel[br]like at a certain point it's like kind of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 impossible to avoid the sun. And also like[br]why would you rob yourself of that joy? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 There's like no better feeling than having[br]the sun on your face. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Like what about when you're driving,[br]what are you gonna do then? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Maybe like, you know those sun blockers[br]that people put on their car windows when 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they park their car? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I imagine Brandon just has that over his [br]windshield at all times, just absolutely 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 mowing people down, can't see shit... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sorry, let's get back to Brandon,[br]let's see what kind of food he's eating so 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 he can keep that youthful glow. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Here's what I'm eating for dinner tonight[br]for the purposes of anti-aging. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This is steamed broccoli and steamed bell[br]peppers, the broccoli is high in vitamin C 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 good for collagen synthesis, it also[br]contains sulforaphane which increases NRF2 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 NRF2 pathway-"[br]overlapping dialog 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This guy's just making up words.[br]What the fuck was all that shit. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm convinced he's speaking in tongues[br]dude, he needs to be, he needs to be 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 exorcised by a priest. And I can't help[br]but think about that tweet, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of a person who's meal prepping broccoli,[br]chicken and eggs and someone quote tweeted 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it with, 'okay mr fart'. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's all I'm thinking of when I look at[br]that dinner, dude. This dude's farts could 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 probably make you hallucinate bro.[br]Oh, you know what? Maybe that's what UPF 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 stands for. Ur Prolly Farting. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I also just watched a video from Brandon[br]saying that he eats pizza once a quarter. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I would say about 95% of the time I eat[br]everything that I show here on TikTok 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 about 5% of the time, yes I'll go out with[br]a friend or like my partner or somebody 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and we will maybe get pizza, maybe like[br]every quarter or so we might have pizza 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it's not like a big deal for me." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Which sounds like a brutal existence dude,[br]a pizza every quarter? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Just one pizza a quarter? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'd have a quarter of a pizza every hour[br]if I could, dude. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Like I said earlier, I wanna see how[br]effective this anti-aging lifestyle really 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 is. So for the next week, I'm gonna live [br]my life the exact same way Brandon does. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And we'll see if I end up looking any[br]younger. But first, we need to lock down a 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 daily routine. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Okay so luckily, Brandon has a lot of[br]videos detailing pretty much everything he 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 does in a typical day for anti-aging.[br]Let's start off with what I'm gonna be 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 eating this week. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He has a video called[br]'What I eat in a day for anti-aging'. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 To summarise that video, Brandon has a [br]dark roast coffee in the morning and then 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 an hour or two later, he has breakfast[br]which sucks for me because the first thing 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 on my mind when I wake up is what I'm[br]gonna eat for breakfast. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 For breakfast he says he makes a green[br]smoothie on days where he isn't fasting. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I figured I'd do a smoothie pretty much[br]every day and then one day I'll try to go 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 fasting and see how that goes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then a few hours later he makes a[br]humongous salad for lunch. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He then makes a hot chocolate made of 100%[br]cacao, cocoa powder, almon milk and salt. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I don't know about you guys but I like[br]my hot chocolate sweet as hell. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So let's see how he sweetens it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "No sweetener, I don't add any sweetener [br]or sugar, so it is bitter." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Great. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And for dinner, Brandon usually does[br]salmon or some other kind of fish for 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 omega-3. I don't know what those are, it[br]sounds like it could be one of the fuckin' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Autobots.[br]'Omega-3, roll out.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then alongside the salmon Brandon also[br]has broccoli and 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "my favourite fall vegetable, a sweet[br]potato." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then for dessert he does frozen[br]blueberries and dark chocolate. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So that's gonna be pretty much my diet[br]every single day this week. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And there were some other foods in his [br]TikTok and stuff, like hard boiled eggs 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and avocado and stuff that I'll sprinkle[br]in here and there. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And also, god, real quick. I gotta say,[br]love the energy Brandon's YouTube profile 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 picture is giving off, I love it dude.[br]It looks like I'm seeing him through a 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 peephole.[br]And obviously another pinnacle of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 anti-aging is exercise. [br]Brandon starts his day with a 10 minute 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 stretch, and this next part's gonna be[br]pretty hard, but Brandon aims to hit 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 20,000 steps a day. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I've been trying to reach for 20,000[br]steps-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's a lot of steps, ok? Especially to[br]a guy who has mastered the art of parking 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it, but Brandon actually uses this little [br]treadmill, this like walking pad while he 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 works and stuff, so I went ahead and[br]ordered that same treadmill because 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I can't possibly think of another way to[br]get 20,000 steps in a day. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Especially during the summertime. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Brandon then does some weightlifting with[br]some 12-pound weights 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and that'll be no problem. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And that's his daily workout routine.[br]Seems pretty low impact, which is nice. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But compared to my usual workout routine[br]that consists of 20 reps of hanging out 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 followed by three sets of chilling,[br]this is gonna be a big change for me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Uh, yeah. The only push up I do is push up[br]on the D-pad, cause I'm a freaking gamer. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I paused my game to be here. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You know I can eat and exercise all I want[br]but if I don't look the part then 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 what am I doing? So I'm gonna order [br]some UPF 50 clothing as well. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And wow, look at these.[br]Holy crap, these are ugly. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 They're not ugly, sorry. [br]They're just not what I would wear. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's like, there's not even one ironic[br]vintage graphic t-shirt on here 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 what the fuck? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I guess it's nice that these clothes[br]protect you from the sun, but it doesn't 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 say anything about protecting you from [br]insults. So I'm pretty nervous about that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I'm gonna give these a genuine try.[br]So I'm gonna order some of these. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And last but not least, Brandon made a [br]video going through some tips and tricks 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 about anti-aging that nobody really talks[br]about. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "So whenever I am, like, cooking a meal[br]and I'm baking and I'm using the oven, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I will be very very hesitant to just reach[br]my hand in there with just a mitten." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Damn, your skin can't even get warm?[br]What the fuck? That's not real. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "People who bake things for a living have[br]more aged skin on their dominant hand 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the hand that they use for putting things[br]in the oven and pulling things out." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Also the example he uses... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He says people who work in kitchens[br]age poorly? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That might be true, but I can guarantee[br]you that's not because of the heat. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I've worked in restaurants before, ok?[br]If it's not the cigarettes, booze and 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 sniff 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that ages them poorly, it's the[br]unnecessary amount of stress they put 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 themselves through. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'Ugh I'm so mad, the restaurant I work at[br]that sells food is selling too much food. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I gotta yell at Curtis and get more hand [br]tattoos about this.' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sorry to all the line cooks and stuff[br]out there but I think that's just personal 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 work trauma I'm working through that-[br]nothing on you guys. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Tip number two, flying in airplanes, [br]I always choose a window seat so that 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I can control when the window is up and[br]down because when you're in higher 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 altitudes, UV- UVA in particular is[br]strongest at those highest altitudes-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yeah I guess that makes sense, but like a[br]couple hours of sunlight isn't gonna 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 fucking kill you. Well actually, I don't[br]know. It might kill him. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I don't know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 As you get on a flight, you're in the[br]window seat, sitting next to you is 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Brandon Skincare, you look over, you open[br]the window, sun shines through and then 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you look back at Brandon and there's just[br]a pile of ash there. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Tip number three is wearing white[br]clothing. The sun comes down and reflects 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 UV off of that white significantly more so[br]than any other colour." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Alright, this is terrible news for me[br]because I actually really love wearing 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 white t-shirts, that's my favourite thing [br]to wear because I got this cool thing 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 called dandruff. So when I wear black my[br]shoulders kind of look like a fuckin' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Charli XCX concert. But who knows? Maybe[br]all this healthy eating I do this week 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 will somehow cure my dandruff. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "When you have bright lights on at night,[br]like just everywhere in your house and 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you're watching TV and you're on your[br]phone and you're on your devices 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 this blue light and this visible light is[br]stimulating your serotonin levels when 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it's not supposed to be stimulated, and [br]your circadian rhythm is getting all out 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of whack." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Got, this is also gonna be a huge change. [br]Like I'm playing video games and working 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 until like 1AM fuckin' like every night. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Literally the lonely stoner seems to free[br]his mind at night, I don't know if he's 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 heard that before. [br]But now Brandon's saying no bright lights 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 at night? That ain't right! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "And also socialising and connecting with [br]others is really really important." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Okay, so I gotta hang out with my friends[br]and my wife this week. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I think I can make that happen. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Maintaining an overall positive attitude[br]just overall can be connected to these 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 things, you know relaxation and reducing[br]negativity. Negativity is a powerful 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 detriment to your anti-aging goals.[br]A lot of people who are just negative 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 overall tend to have a reduced life span [br]and just more health issues overall, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 tends to be a correlation there, [br]an association." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's dumb. That's stupid. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Fuck dude, being negative shortens your[br]life? Nice knowing you guys! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Jesus Christ dude. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "And number 10 tip is basically not[br]drinking alcohol-" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Okay. Come on, man. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 How you gonna tell me to be social but not[br]have any alcohol? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yeah, great thing for anti-aging is to go [br]skydiving but don't wear a parachute! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Maybe he's just talking about hard liquor,[br]right? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 'I'm sure he's not meaning 100 million[br]beers, right friend?' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I just don't drink personally because I [br]know that there's really no benefit to 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 alcohol." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 No benefits to alcohol? Okay, you tell[br]that to my hands that I'm not sure what to 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 do with at a concert. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Alright, I think we've got a firm[br]understanding of what my anti-aging week 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 is gonna look like, but I think before I[br]dive into the shallow end and break my 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 neck, I need one final day of getting all[br]the fun shit I like doing out of my system 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I got a haircut. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I had my quarterly pizza the night[br]before my week of anti-aging 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and with a chest full of heartburn[br]I stared at my computer screen for the 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 rest of the night. I've been really busy [br]getting ready for tour and everything 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I knew I wasn't gonna have that much[br]time to do it this week, so I had to get 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 as much done as I possibly could. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That being said, I also played some video[br]games. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you're wondering what video game I was [br]playing, then you're in luck.