(heavy breathing)
Louis!
(keys jangle)
(knocking)
Louis!
(bird squawks)
(knocking)
(door creeks)
(heavy breath)
Louis: Aah!
Sydney: Ah!
You're alright! What happened?
Nothing.
No transformation. No skeletal reshaping.
(sighs)
No awesome claws.
Oh.
I don't really want to talk about it. I think I just want to be alone right now.
You sure?
Yeah, I'm fine.
There's always next month, right?
Yeah, right.
(knocking)
Go away, I said I was fine.
(faster knocking)
Seriously! I said I was...
Man: Yeah, that door is definitely not up to code. You should really
consider using reinforced concrete, or possibly solid silver. What with the whole
werewolf thing.
Louis: Hey, you're Seth Greening, from the internet.
Seth: Yeah, the one and only! Eh, last time I checked. Sorry I couldn't get here
any sooner but my buddy Alex used up his last portal spell for the month.
You look really familiar, do you get that a lot?
Louis: I sent you a message on your website and... are you scanning me?
Seth: No! I got your message. You seemed kinda bummed and its always been my
mission to not only help survivors and non- homicidal supernaturals out with practical
advice, but also moral support. You mind if I use your crib cam?
Louis: Uh, yeah.
Seth: I want to interview you for my supernatural "surive-ology" web show:
"Seth on Survival."
Seriously?
Absolutely. And uh, we're on air.
(Morse code beeps)
Hey all survivors, I am Seth, and welcome to a very special on location episode of
Seth on Survival. I'm here with Louis Pine, a young man with all too common a
problem amongst young extra-normals: USHM, or:
Lou, tell us a little bit about your night last night.
Well, I'm a genetic werewolf on my dad's side. I thought for sure that I was going
to transform last night. I could just feel it. Nothing happened.
And how does that make you feel?
Just, disappointed I guess.
Unsurprising. You were expecting super- human strength, heightened visual acuity,
and increased aptitude for basketball?
Well yeah. It sucks.
Yeah, that it does Louis. That it does. But, that being said that is absolutely no reason
why you, or any other latent lycanthropes at home should give up hope on one day
fully wolfing-out.
I shouldn't?
No, absolutely not! Lycanthropy, despite being a surprisingly apt metaphor for
puberty, doesn't always hit during the teenage years. You could be in your
twenties, or even as old as 305 before your latent ravening bestial nature hits.
Oh.
Yeah, and did you know not every werewolf transforms every full moon?
No, I didn't.
Yeah, absolutely not. They're many sub-species of lycanthrope that only transform during
very specific lunar events. Like the Gregorian Gray Werewolves who only transform during
the Feast of Stephen and on lunar eclipses. Or the half-cyborg Cyber Wolves who only
transform on the Illuminati's secret moon base is facing the earth.
But, how do I know for sure--
No I know what you're thinking. How's the moon base ever not face the planet when
only one half the moon ever faces the earth? Well, that's just what the Illuminati want you to think.
No, I mean, how do I know for sure that I'm a werewolf? That I am going to transform?
How do you know for sure? Ok, look, I am going to share with you a secret, well,
share with you and hundreds of thousands of other survivors online. Currently I'm only 99%
human myself.
Really?
Yeah! And that 1% still hasn't manifested. My current theory is that either my grandad
was a Sign of Thorn or I'm 1/8th Loch Ness Monster. But the point is sometimes these things
take a while. You gotta be patient. No matter what you are; human, werewolf, 1/8th
Loch Ness Monster, you make the best of what you got, right? Just be the best person,
or, person-like thing that you can be. Keep on keeping on.
(static)
So again, no sweet claws but, no biggie.
Least the night wasn't a total bust.
I got to meet one of the worlds leading experts in the supernatural.
And I got these awesome t-shirts for me and Sydney.
So like Seth says, keep on keeping on.
And like Sydney said, there's always next month.
(Mom OS) Is that camera on?
Oh, I also got grounded when I got home, but more on that later.
(Mom OS) Turn it off.
(static)