0:00:21.083,0:00:23.709
OK, so what about honesty?

0:00:23.735,0:00:27.972
What would it be for you,[br]just among your friends

0:00:27.973,0:00:31.883
to change the degree of honesty?

0:00:32.511,0:00:37.250
What if you're just honest all the time,[br]with everyone that you know?

0:00:37.251,0:00:41.041
People that you already know,[br]and you weren't too worried

0:00:41.048,0:00:46.670
about being tactful, or diplomatic[br]you just said whatever you thought,

0:00:46.671,0:00:49.634
like a kid, like a child.

0:00:49.635,0:00:52.993
What do you think it would do[br]to your relationships?

0:00:56.113,0:00:58.962
What would be different

0:00:58.963,0:01:01.851
if you were radically honest?

0:01:04.394,0:01:08.960
There's a story of a woman[br]who interviewed for a job,

0:01:08.961,0:01:14.325
and her potential boss[br]asked her a question in the interview

0:01:17.605,0:01:21.475
What do you consider[br]to be your worst fault?

0:01:23.215,0:01:25.185
She said, "Honesty".

0:01:26.215,0:01:29.261
He said, "I don't think[br]honesty's a fault."

0:01:29.262,0:01:32.280
And she said,[br]"I don't give a fuck what you think."

0:01:32.281,0:01:33.981
(Laughter)

0:01:38.151,0:01:40.469
I really like that joke.

0:01:42.295,0:01:47.821
I think, would you hire her[br]if you were the boss?

0:01:48.291,0:01:50.141
I would.

0:01:50.142,0:01:55.941
I would want someone[br]that I could depend on not to cater to me.

0:01:57.021,0:02:01.559
That I could rely on[br]to handle things and be honest.

0:02:06.616,0:02:12.809
There is this problem about being honest[br]about what's going through your mind,

0:02:12.810,0:02:17.715
and the problem is[br]that we have three minds.

0:02:18.401,0:02:22.055
We have at least three minds,

0:02:23.545,0:02:27.364
and we've been taught all of our lives[br]that our mind is a very valuable thing,

0:02:27.365,0:02:30.465
and that thinking[br]is the most important thing.

0:02:33.745,0:02:36.407
I don't think that's right.

0:02:37.726,0:02:41.984
Our first mind is called the reactive mind

0:02:41.997,0:02:44.641
and that's basically[br]we are a recording device,

0:02:44.642,0:02:48.460
we've been recording[br]multisensory recordings

0:02:48.465,0:02:52.583
of what happens to us[br]since we were in the womb.

0:02:52.584,0:02:57.657
We didn't have vision in there[br]but we have these multisensory recordings

0:02:57.658,0:03:00.648
of successive moments of now.

0:03:01.238,0:03:05.471
We have them filed[br]in a somewhat orderly fashion,

0:03:05.472,0:03:09.260
some of them weren't recorded too well,[br]some of them were a little off

0:03:09.261,0:03:13.813
but they still are built into us,[br]we have these records of things

0:03:13.814,0:03:15.151
we've experienced.

0:03:15.152,0:03:19.581
They're not just sight and sound,[br]they're tasty, touchy, feely, smelly

0:03:19.582,0:03:21.978
proprioceptive recordings.

0:03:22.551,0:03:26.128
So that's one mind,[br]that's called the reactive mind,

0:03:27.361,0:03:29.988
And that's because[br]whenever something was recorded

0:03:29.989,0:03:33.582
it had a little bit of trauma in it[br]or some shock or something like that,

0:03:33.583,0:03:35.962
that got recorded with it.

0:03:35.963,0:03:38.885
Then every now and then[br]those things just kind of pop up

0:03:38.886,0:03:40.952
later on in your life.

0:03:40.953,0:03:43.240
So that's the reactive mind.

0:03:43.241,0:03:47.121
The next mind is called[br]the personal construct mind.

0:03:47.571,0:03:50.480
That's based on replicated experiences.

0:03:50.481,0:03:54.360
We have this experience of something[br]over and over again.

0:03:54.361,0:03:59.093
Say the baby has the experience[br]of nursing, and then not nursing,

0:03:59.094,0:04:01.765
and then nursing and not nursing,

0:04:01.766,0:04:05.360
and after a while,[br]after many, many repetitions of this,

0:04:05.361,0:04:08.641
a little construct begins[br]in the mind of the baby:

0:04:08.642,0:04:12.961
nursing time and not nursing time.

0:04:12.962,0:04:17.029
Then the baby cries when it wants[br]nursing and gets nursed,

0:04:17.029,0:04:22.076
and after a while that gets in there,[br]and she starts operating on the construct:

0:04:22.077,0:04:26.731
nursing, wanting nursing, crying,[br]and then getting nursed.

0:04:26.737,0:04:31.327
It works just fine except[br]when she wants nursing, and she cries,

0:04:31.328,0:04:36.378
and she doesn't get it,[br]she gets really really pissed off.

0:04:37.842,0:04:40.309
We have all these little things in there,

0:04:40.310,0:04:45.692
of expectations associated with constructs[br]that we built in our minds.

0:04:45.693,0:04:52.027
That's what we call[br]the personal construct mind.

0:04:52.913,0:04:55.726
Then we have the categorical mind,

0:04:55.727,0:05:00.296
or the planning mind, the linear mind,

0:05:00.297,0:05:02.613
the one we usually think of as our mind.

0:05:02.614,0:05:05.293
It's mostly verbal skills[br]and has to do with

0:05:05.294,0:05:09.737
having definitions of things[br]and points to objects and ideas;

0:05:09.738,0:05:11.695
the mind the way we think of it.

0:05:12.675,0:05:17.912
The problem is that these three minds[br]turn on and off more or less at random,

0:05:17.913,0:05:20.421
and they're not very accurate.

0:05:20.422,0:05:26.281
In fact, there is a section[br]of one of my books, titled--

0:05:26.282,0:05:32.338
- it's a take-off on the advertisement[br]from the American Negro College Fund,

0:05:32.339,0:05:36.997
they say, "a mind[br]is a terrible thing to waste" -

0:05:36.998,0:05:41.298
and my book says a mind[br]is a terrible thing wasted.

0:05:44.058,0:05:48.458
These minds[br]are very unreliable instruments,

0:05:49.278,0:05:54.327
and one of the things[br]that makes them unreliable

0:05:54.328,0:05:59.749
is that they tend to get mixed up,[br]they confuse each other.

0:05:59.751,0:06:02.950
Like our categorical mind[br]likes to take responsibility for things

0:06:02.951,0:06:04.780
that just popped into our head.

0:06:04.781,0:06:09.930
We think it's basically just used[br]to rationalize the impulse

0:06:09.931,0:06:12.357
that came from the reactive mind.

0:06:12.358,0:06:14.014
So then what are we to do?

0:06:14.015,0:06:17.464
Well, a New Yorker was stopped[br]by a tourist and said,

0:06:17.465,0:06:21.012
"How do I get to Carnegie Hall?"

0:06:21.013,0:06:24.893
She said, "Practice, practice, practice."

0:06:28.385,0:06:32.391
Practice is what we need,[br]and what you need to do is practice

0:06:32.392,0:06:37.377
knowing the difference[br]between noticing and thinking.

0:06:38.980,0:06:41.624
Knowing the difference[br]between noticing and thinking

0:06:41.625,0:06:44.521
and in a new context[br]that is you've been taught

0:06:44.522,0:06:47.508
that thinking was the most[br]important thing your whole life

0:06:47.509,0:06:48.918
- that's wrong -

0:06:48.919,0:06:52.871
noticing is much more important[br]than thinking.

0:06:53.791,0:06:58.032
Thinking is an unreliable mess.

0:06:58.033,0:07:01.162
We have three minds[br]and all of them are screwed up,

0:07:01.163,0:07:03.212
and they're interfering with each other

0:07:03.213,0:07:06.798
and the reactive mind is always trying[br]to come up with things,

0:07:06.799,0:07:11.681
and the construct mind[br]came up with an idea

0:07:11.682,0:07:16.160
that wasn't accurate in the first place,[br]and now it's forgotten about half way,

0:07:16.161,0:07:19.110
and it interferes with the linear mind,

0:07:19.111,0:07:23.370
and we all try to take credit[br]for the ideas that come to us,

0:07:23.371,0:07:26.049
but basically,[br]we didn't come up with them,

0:07:26.050,0:07:28.849
they just jumped out of our mind.

0:07:28.850,0:07:33.843
So basically, the mind[br]is not a very reliable thing.

0:07:34.923,0:07:40.273
In order to get some clarity,[br]we need each other,

0:07:41.103,0:07:47.943
because my faulty mind needs to have[br]a report delivered to your faulty mind

0:07:49.573,0:07:51.890
and we have to be able to talk about it,

0:07:51.891,0:07:54.873
which means, if we're not honest,

0:07:54.874,0:07:58.890
we'll just be even more fucked up[br]than we already are.

0:08:00.100,0:08:04.625
So what we're after[br]is some kind of clarity,

0:08:04.626,0:08:07.793
what we're after is something[br]called co-hearted co-intelligence,

0:08:07.811,0:08:10.016
and I'll get to that in the end.

0:08:11.468,0:08:14.480
So what are we to practice?

0:08:15.620,0:08:20.468
We practice distinguishing[br]between noticing and thinking.

0:08:22.827,0:08:26.843
Now, stick with me here,[br]with a whole awareness continuum,

0:08:26.844,0:08:33.645
everything we can possibly be aware of[br]can be divided easily into three parts.

0:08:33.647,0:08:38.198
You can be aware of[br]what's going on outside of you right now,

0:08:38.205,0:08:42.758
I could be aware of you,[br]you could be aware of me, right now.

0:08:42.759,0:08:46.470
That's one aspect[br]of the awareness continuum.

0:08:46.471,0:08:48.473
The second aspect is you can be aware

0:08:48.474,0:08:53.923
of what's going on within the confines[br]of your own skin right now in your body

0:08:53.924,0:08:57.903
- sensations: heat, cold, tingling,[br]tension, warmth -

0:08:57.904,0:09:01.266
where they are in your body,[br]you can be aware of that.

0:09:01.267,0:09:05.206
The third aspect is you can be aware

0:09:05.207,0:09:09.203
of what's going through[br]your mind, right now.

0:09:10.083,0:09:13.082
All of these awarenesses are right now.

0:09:13.083,0:09:17.698
That's all there is, I call it[br]inside, outside, upside down.

0:09:18.702,0:09:21.277
After my favorite children's book.

0:09:22.787,0:09:25.396
So you can notice[br]what's going on in your body,

0:09:25.397,0:09:27.956
you can notice[br]what's going on outside of you

0:09:27.957,0:09:30.984
and you can notice[br]what's going through your mind right now.

0:09:30.985,0:09:34.984
The only problem is if you actually say[br]to the voices in your mind,

0:09:34.985,0:09:37.666
"OK, go ahead, I'm listening,"

0:09:37.667,0:09:41.576
all of a sudden, your mind doesn't know[br]whether to shit or go blind.

0:09:41.577,0:09:45.333
It just doesn't say anything

0:09:47.063,0:09:50.262
because it's run by resistance.

0:09:50.263,0:09:54.971
If you're trying to stop your mind[br]that's the best way to keep it going.

0:09:54.972,0:10:01.211
So the noticing, is noticing[br]what's happening outside of you,

0:10:01.212,0:10:03.735
it's noticing what's[br]happening in your body,

0:10:03.736,0:10:06.179
and noticing what's going[br]through your mind.

0:10:06.180,0:10:11.330
Radical honesty is reporting[br]what you notice, period.

0:10:12.536,0:10:14.411
You report what you notice

0:10:15.341,0:10:22.153
without any particular,[br]common ways of lying,

0:10:23.210,0:10:29.680
like politeness and being diplomatic.

0:10:29.690,0:10:32.179
Diplomacy works just the way--

0:10:32.180,0:10:36.890
the world is completely fucked up,[br]and it's about diplomacy.

0:10:36.891,0:10:42.370
Usually, we talk about either[br]we go to war or you use diplomacy.

0:10:42.371,0:10:43.829
That's not true.

0:10:43.830,0:10:46.242
Diplomacy is what causes war.

0:10:48.502,0:10:54.645
So what we're after[br]is to get the value of paying attention.

0:10:57.117,0:11:02.666
So if you're going to report[br]to another person

0:11:02.667,0:11:05.262
what you notice in your minds,

0:11:05.263,0:11:08.042
you have to report everything[br]in all three minds.

0:11:08.043,0:11:09.802
They'll be contradictory;

0:11:09.803,0:11:13.072
your reacting mind[br]will come up with something,

0:11:13.073,0:11:14.589
you'll say that out loud,

0:11:14.590,0:11:18.563
and then your linear mind[br]will come up with something else,

0:11:18.564,0:11:21.463
you say that out loud,[br]they contradict each other.

0:11:21.464,0:11:26.081
Then, your personal construct mind[br]says something else,

0:11:26.082,0:11:27.951
and people think, "What are you, crazy?

0:11:27.952,0:11:30.222
All these things[br]are going through your mind?"

0:11:30.223,0:11:31.803
Yes, and so are you.

0:11:33.068,0:11:38.160
So, we, crazy people,[br]have to figure out a way

0:11:38.161,0:11:41.933
to do a better guess at what's going on.

0:11:42.563,0:11:44.452
But if you're lying,

0:11:44.453,0:11:47.052
nobody gets the chance[br]to intervene for you,

0:11:47.053,0:11:50.169
and you don't get the chance[br]to intervene for anyone else.

0:11:51.002,0:11:56.890
So what is the value of honesty?

0:11:57.836,0:12:04.035
You see, life is trouble. Period.

0:12:04.036,0:12:07.179
If you have three minds,[br]you've got trouble.

0:12:07.180,0:12:10.179
If you tell a lie, you'll get in trouble.

0:12:10.180,0:12:13.817
If you tell the truth,[br]you'll get in trouble.

0:12:13.822,0:12:17.320
So lying gets you in trouble,[br]and telling the truth gets you in trouble.

0:12:17.321,0:12:21.684
And the question arises,[br]which is the best kind of trouble?

0:12:21.685,0:12:25.913
And the best kind of trouble[br]is the trouble that's caused

0:12:25.914,0:12:29.615
whenever you speak the truth.

0:12:30.455,0:12:34.174
Even if it upsets somebody,[br]or hurts their feelings, or offends them.

0:12:34.175,0:12:36.806
I recommend that you offend people,

0:12:36.807,0:12:39.989
and I recommend[br]that you hurt people's feelings,

0:12:39.990,0:12:43.056
and I recommend that you stick with them[br]until they get over it;

0:12:43.057,0:12:45.606
It only takes about 90 seconds or so.

0:12:45.607,0:12:47.118
(Laughter)

0:12:50.618,0:12:52.177
(Applause)

0:12:52.178,0:12:53.328
Thank you.

0:13:04.080,0:13:08.298
The noticing that you do[br]has to be in a certain order.

0:13:08.299,0:13:14.333
We like for you to notice[br]what's going on outside of you first,

0:13:15.445,0:13:18.974
use your eyes and ears,[br]and your sense of balance,

0:13:18.975,0:13:20.833
and your relationship to gravity,

0:13:20.834,0:13:23.385
and notice what's going on[br]in the world first.

0:13:23.386,0:13:26.259
Then report that to who ever's around.

0:13:26.260,0:13:30.818
Then secondly notice what's going on[br]within the confines of your own skin.

0:13:30.819,0:13:33.159
I notice there's a sort[br]of tension in my stomach,

0:13:33.160,0:13:35.770
a little tension[br]in the right hand shoulder over here,

0:13:35.771,0:13:39.131
a little movement here, you report that,

0:13:39.132,0:13:41.624
and only after you reported those two,

0:13:41.625,0:13:45.435
then, you start reporting[br]what's going through your minds.

0:13:47.465,0:13:52.752
Now, the best way to get in touch[br]with what's going through your mind

0:13:52.753,0:13:57.069
is to start from the right place,[br]and the right place is not in your mind.

0:13:57.070,0:14:01.575
You never want to begin[br]any new project by thinking.

0:14:03.924,0:14:08.977
In fact, you want to be grounded[br]in your experience

0:14:08.978,0:14:11.358
which means the awareness continuum.

0:14:11.359,0:14:14.088
I ran this eight day long workshop[br]for about 20 years,

0:14:14.089,0:14:17.821
3 or 4 or 5 times a year,[br]it was 8 days long,

0:14:17.822,0:14:20.958
about 16 people each time.

0:14:20.959,0:14:24.585
We spent 12, 14 hours a day trying to get

0:14:24.592,0:14:28.035
what a year of psychotherapy would do

0:14:28.036,0:14:30.657
condensed down into one week.

0:14:31.545,0:14:36.229
About 10 years into it,[br]we discovered this amazing discovery.

0:14:36.230,0:14:41.929
We discovered a chant that puts you[br]on the road to enlightenment;

0:14:41.930,0:14:46.231
in fact, you're enlightened[br]within three minutes.

0:14:46.232,0:14:49.360
Now, I usually charge[br]a whole lot of money for this,

0:14:50.720,0:14:53.848
but I'm going to give it[br]to you guys for free.

0:14:53.849,0:14:56.052
This is the chant

0:14:56.053,0:15:00.680
that will lead without fail[br]to enlightenment within three minutes.

0:15:05.125,0:15:09.208
(sobbing) Duuuuhhhhhhh...

0:15:09.771,0:15:12.496
Duuuuhhhhhhh...

0:15:12.497,0:15:14.966
Duuuuhhhhhhh...

0:15:14.967,0:15:17.600
And if you slobber,[br]you get there in two minutes.

0:15:17.601,0:15:19.250
So you slobber...

0:15:19.251,0:15:20.845
(Laughter)

0:15:20.846,0:15:26.897
You used to get dumber than a stick,[br]dumber than a box of hammers.

0:15:26.898,0:15:29.267
Duuuuhhhhhhh...

0:15:29.268,0:15:33.320
That's the way you start[br]if you want to get enlightened.

0:15:34.464,0:15:37.339
You don't get enlightened by being smart,

0:15:37.340,0:15:42.997
being smart is the biggest[br]blocked enlightenment there is, all right.

0:15:42.998,0:15:44.897
It's not by thinking.

0:15:44.898,0:15:51.542
So if you get grounded in your dumbness,[br]what we call dumbfounded,

0:15:53.223,0:15:55.396
if you get dumbfounded,

0:15:55.397,0:15:59.926
there is a way you begin to notice

0:15:59.927,0:16:03.342
the way you usually interrupt noticing;

0:16:03.343,0:16:05.802
which is with your mind.

0:16:05.803,0:16:09.584
And the reason for doing all this is this:

0:16:09.585,0:16:15.044
when you experience an experience,[br]it comes and goes.

0:16:16.262,0:16:22.105
When you resist experiencing[br]an experience, it persists.

0:16:22.106,0:16:27.922
The major form of resisting[br]your experience is by thinking.

0:16:29.282,0:16:34.310
So if you're thinking,[br]trying to think your way around things,

0:16:34.311,0:16:36.613
what you first need to do

0:16:36.614,0:16:43.052
is to stop thinking and feel[br]your way through things.

0:16:43.053,0:16:45.872
When you open up[br]to your awareness in your body,

0:16:45.873,0:16:48.621
and your awareness[br]of the other being across from you,

0:16:48.622,0:16:51.503
and your awareness[br]of what's going through your mind,

0:16:51.504,0:16:53.251
and you report them all,

0:16:53.252,0:16:55.251
not as an advocate trying to persuade

0:16:55.252,0:16:58.201
how you're right[br]and they're wrong or something,

0:16:58.202,0:17:02.807
but just to report, so you can share[br]and check each other out,

0:17:02.808,0:17:05.800
then, you tell the truth[br]about what you're experiencing,

0:17:05.801,0:17:09.635
because it's vital information[br]that both of us need

0:17:09.636,0:17:15.799
in order for us[br]to be able to make it in the world.

0:17:18.060,0:17:23.454
I believe that your personal happiness[br]is critically related to this,

0:17:23.454,0:17:25.085
is dependent on this,

0:17:25.086,0:17:28.335
and I think that the survival[br]of human kind is too.

0:17:28.336,0:17:33.964
So I want you to get out there[br]and start being radically honest.

0:17:35.188,0:17:36.521
Thanks.

0:17:36.522,0:17:37.862
(Applause)