So there will be a few people coming in and going out
that's the nature of these things
but for this evening's Dhamma talk there were some other suggestions
were passed through to me
and the main topic of the talk this evening is
about a person who asked how do you deal with chronic pain?
and what sort of techniques of meditation, of Buddhism, attitudes
can actually help with that.
I wanted to expand that not just with chronic pain
but also other things which one doesn't like in life
because I know there is a real chronic pain
but there's also those people who are pains in the back side
and they are very chronic
and how do we deal with those as well
because it's the same attitude
which we can deal with you know really really bad pains
and other emotional difficulties as well.
So it's how to deal with those chronic things which we just do not like
and it may not even just be with emotions.
I know one thing which everyone who comes here has to deal with
every week when i give a talk
is chronic bad jokes,
(laughter)
and the one today to get it out of the way is about the lady
who actually her house burned down; and when she rang her Insurance Agent
she said "just give me a cheque for the value"
They said "we don't do that, we give replacement"
we'll get you a new house with all the fittings in it
she said, but can't i get a cheque?
They said no, you get a replacement,
she said ok I suppose I should cancel the life insurance for my husband then
(laughter from the audience)
she would just get a replacement
ok there we go, another chronically bad joke
but now we go to the serious part of actually how to deal with
some of these difficulties we have in life.
and basically it all revolves around a nice statement of the Buddha
which said that there are two parts to pain
to unpleasantness, to difficulty in life.
and He said its the physical part and the emotional part
the two arrows which go into a human body
and He said the physical part
is just part of life
you can't do much about that
but the emotional response we can do everything about
and that is the key to understanding
how to deal with chronic pain
how to deal with things which we don't like
things which disturb us
ther's two parts to the pain which we feel.
I remember some person gave me
some research done in neuroscience
They said whenever you feel
a pain, sensation; say in the hand
there are actually two pathways, goes to different parts of the brain
it seems it almost does
confirm physiologically
something which the Buddha said,
the one which is actually the ache, the pain,
and the other one which gets the emotional response going.
It's is amazing just how much we
can change the emotional response
we have to things like pain, to disappointment to anxiety and to depression.
Even today someone came along
and said how much they get depressed.
And I said, well, depression is part of life
Change your emotional response to it.
Enjoy your depression!
Milk it for everything it's worth.
When you are depressed you don't have to go to work,
you can sleep in.
People give you food you like;
they want to cheer you up.
It has many advantages, when you get depressed.
So don't think "Ugh, I'm depressed I don't like this"
Again, change your attitude towards it.
And then it becomes so positive you enjoy being depressed so much
because you get so many benefits,
then you are not depressed anymore.
He he he (Ajahn laughs)
Now that's an interesting little anecdote there
of how we can change things around
by the way we look at these things.
When it comes to physical pain,
things which actually hurt,
again there is a lot of ways we can deal with that
First of all with our attitude;
because one of the biggest parts of pain, even chronic pain
is the fear.. what's going to happen in the future.
"I can't stand this any longer!"
That's one of the reason why
you know in the old movies or the old books where they say
about torture,
they say "this is going to hurt."
They say "you are gonna wish you were dead."
Why do they say those things?
It's because that fear of what's going to happen
that is even worse than the pain.
That's one of the reason why I tell doctors and nurses
Please when you inject something into someone
don't say "This is going to hurt".
That makes it hurt much more!
You've all had experiences like that.
I certainly have.
I remember when I was a monk in Thailand
walking barefoot on alms round and
stepping on a nail - it went about two inches into my foot!
It's a long way,
a big 4 inch nail, it went right inside my foot!
It didn't hurt at all!
until somebody said
"Wow that's terrible!!"
and as soon as they said that it started to hurt.
Have you had experiences like that?
Again it's sometimes what we add on..
what we expect to happen to those experiences
with those experiences.
That is where lot of the pain comes from.
So I'm sure you have seen all those movies, not movies but documentaries, on
hypnosis and how we can actually change
the reaction of our mind using hypnosis to physical feelings.
Somebody told me there was one TV show
where they put a person in a freezing cold tub of water
but they convinced this guy under hypnosis
that it was nice and warm,
just like a warm hot bath.
You like going in warm hot baths this time of year?
Really nice, warm and hot is
very very nice.
I don't usually indulge
but I remember one of the people here
we went to Bhutan together.
When I walked up this mountain
when you came down again,
all your legs were very sore
because really exerting yourself.
I remember just going into the bath,
a good excuse at last, a monk can have a hot bath.
Lovely just to relax there.
But in this particular case
it was ice cold water.
But they convinced him it was a warm hot bath
and he was having a wonderful time
in the cold icy water.
And I mention that story because
a few days ago, it was very cold here in Perth.
Did you feel the cold?
Were you just freezing?
In the early morning temperatures, 3 degrees, 2 degrees in Perth?
Hypnotise yourself!
just tell yourself
"Oh! it is so warm today,
Isn't it such a wonderful day today."
And then you don't feel the cold.
True!
A lot of it is in the mind because
we feel the cold, we don't like the cold.
Remember, use your rational mind:
cold is good for you!
People who live in cold climates live much longer.
Look, when you put the milk in the freezer
it doesn't go off! (laughter)
You put the cheese, the food in the freezer
it lasts a long time.
You are just like, same stuff as an apple
So, wonderful! It's nice and cool,
I can add years to my life.
You've been frozen, preserved (laughs)
So when you think like that
you have a good attitude.
and you find it doesn't hurt.
How much of the life comes along when
somebody says it's hot today.
You are having a wonderful time until you see the temperature
It's 40 degrees
and suddenly you feel hot.
So much of life...
You've had those experiences yourself
actually it's when we add what we expect;
when a nail go into your skin
we get afraid it's cold, or it's too hot
It's amazing with the things
we don't like in this world
it is just basically conditioned onto us,
it's what we add with our mind.
Which is why you can do things under hypnosis
and a person can sit in an ice-cold tank
and have a wonderful time.
So there's another part of our mind
which can not react to that pain, that discomfort.
And this is what we try and teach people with chronic pains.
I always remember one of the guys who came
here many years ago.
We've been here about 31 years.
And he had one of these very very bad chronic pain disorders
something to do with the degeneration of the spine.
And at the time he was one of about 8 or 9 people
here in Western Australia
who were legally allowed to take any medication,
any drug, even prohibited drugs
because the pain was so bad at the time.
He could take anything.
And he came up and told me that
the hospital in Osborne Park
which was dealing with these chronic pains sufferers
had devised a scale so they could
tell their friends and relations roughly what they were feeling.
Because it's very hard to describe pain.
You say "it hurts"
Yes but how much does it hurt?
Hurts a lot;
can you give more details.
So these doctors could take a brain scan
and they could say
exactly what type of pain it was
and he described to me
The level of pain which he was experiencing constantly
was exactly the same as an
ordinary person would experience
if they were having their arm cut off with a chainsaw
And he was experiencing that constantly.
And that was an objective standard.
They could do the brain scan and say
this is what this guy is actually feeling.
So you can imagine that degree of pain
intensity he was feeling.
And that was one of the reasons why he came to a place like this:
to learn some Buddhism, some meditation, some psychology
to deal with that incredible intense pain
which was there all the time.
I know one thing - he got this
incredibly good meditation as a result -
because he had to.
There was a great incentive
for him to find a way of being at peace with the pain.
And he managed to do it.
Because I remember him coming up to me once
with a big smile on his face
and he said "I've finally done it Ajahn Brahm, I've finally done it!"
I said "What have you done?"
And I knew he had been meditating
and I sort-of second-guessed it.
Have you got the ECG to be flat,
to be able to meditate under the hospital conditions,
so your heart stops, gets very peaceful
He said "Oh yeah I did that weeks ago"
"Now I got the EEG to be flat."
So he could get so still in meditation
So peaceful
that even the ECG and the EEG flat-lined.
Totally peaceful and still.
That's what he learned
because of the extreme pain.
He had to.. somehow be at peace with these things.
And he found that was the way
that he was free ...of the pain
It just basically vanishes.
I am just gonna go back a bit to attitude
because I was saying earlier about how fear
creates so much pain.
When you think it's gonna hurt, its gonna hurt,
and it does hurt.
We always remember one of the Anagarikas you all know;
who's being living in Bodhinyana Monastery
for a long time.
I always remember the time when I was walking to the workshop
maybe 20 or 30 years ago.
I was walking to the workshop in our monastery
and I saw this man coming in the opposite direction
he had a pair of pliers in his hand.
And in the teeth of the pliers
was one of his teeth, with blood all over the pliers.
And I thought "What have you done???"
And he said "Oh, I just took out one of my teeth"
I thought "how can you do that?"
Even I was impressed.
This guy just took out his own tooth
with a pair of pliers from the workshop
"What did you do that for?"
He said "just going to a dentist
you know what it's like,
you make an appointment
and they don't have the right date
and when you make an appointment
you find its cancelled afterwards...
Sometimes the Dentists are...
They charge you a lot of money as well
unless you are a monk,
because the husband of the President is a dentist
and does our teeth for free.
Otherwise they get bad Kamma (laughs)
So anyway ... no, they are very good.
They are very kind and generous.
But sometimes it is a lot of problems
going to the Dentist.
And we're living in Serpentine which is a long way from Perth
it's a long way to go,
a long distance, a lot of time.
So he said I don't bother going and making appointments.
I just do it myself.
So he took his own tooth out.
You can see in there why
wouldn't it be wonderful if you don't have to go to the dentist
and you do it yourself?
There are many things you can do yourself these days
Do-it-yourself hardware shops. Do-it-yourself dentists.
But anyway, not to be recommended, I'll get into big trouble.
But this was an incident where I asked him
"how did you do that?"
And what he explained was a very
insightful little exercise,
or a little explanation of how you can deal with pain
by overcoming fear first of all.
and staying much more in this thing we call the Present Moment
He said to me
"When I decided to pull out my own tooth
instead of going to the dentist
that never hurt.
When I walked to the workshop that didn't hurt either
When I picked up the pair of pliers
that never hurt.
When I put it on my tooth that was OK, that didn't hurt
When I wiggled the tooth
that hurt for about 5 seconds,
and then it was out.
And afterwards it didn't hurt that much.
It was only like 2, 3, 4, 5 seconds, that's all.
But you think about doing that
and it starts hurting even now.
Even though it's not your tooth. (laughter)
Now you understand where pain comes from.
You think "oh.. that's terrible!"
You see that the anticipation
the fear, the expectation,
that is what hurts most of all.
which is one of the reasons why
that sometimes we can use that psychology
to not live too much into the future,
to overcome fear, to be here right now.
And you find much of the pain of life
just vanishes and disappears
because you never have fear anymore.
You never think this is going to hurt.
You never think like that anymore,
which means if it does hurt
it only hurts for a couple of seconds
and that's it, no more.
So if we understand the fear component of pain
than we can overcome that
and just live much more in this present moment
which we keep on training people to do.
Right now you're not in any pain,
no problem at all.
Who knows what the future is going to be.
And lot of the time the future
is nowhere near to what you expect it to be.
So you don't need to worry so much about that pain.
Leave it alone.
Just be here right now and you'll find pain
is far easier to bear
when you don't anticipate what's
going to happen next.
So often people say
I can't stand it any longer..
it's the longer thing which is the problem.
As long as you are in this moment right now
you are already bearing it
you are already being here. it's not a problem.
It's our tendency to be afraid
because we still live far too much in the future
never right now.
It doesn't hurt when you decide to take out your own teeth,
when you walk into the workshop,
or picking up the pliers.
It's only when you put it on..
a couple of seconds, that's all, and it's out.
Can you do that?
You have to be able to train yourself
in this mental discipline
of meditation to be able to do that.
And if you can do that, it makes life so much easier
because we always have the aches and the pains
and stuff which happens.
And it's not just physical pain as well
it's the other things
like we're afraid of the interview,
or we are afraid of going up to speak to someone we really like
and invite them out.
We are afraid when we go to the doctors to get the results of our biopsy.
There is so much fear which comes up
in this world, and I can't understand,
sometimes people are even afraid to talk to me!
I'm a monk, I am not a guard from Guantanamo Bay.
Sometimes people are, they are afraid;
and sometimes you ask why are they like that?
One of the reasons is again because
that fear comes from the lack of general kindness.
Because when you are kind to anything
you don't have any fear
That kindness which you have towards yourself and to other beings
is one of the great antidotes to fear.
I was telling people in the retreat
about the one time when I went to see
one of my favourite monks in Thailand
who died some years ago. Ajahn Thate.
Going into his presence
he was one of those people
who was so soft and kind, who emanated that compassion so strongly
I would never felt afraid at all.
I mean - not at all!
Which was a weird experience that
you'd realize that monk could never harm
you in any which way
he would never criticize you, embarrass you or whatever
in front of others.
If ever you experience such kindness from another being,
the feeling is that you don't want to move from their presence,
you feel so relaxed
because in so many other areas of life
you've been hurt and you are afraid you're going to be hurt again.
It's again this pain thing, and anticipation
Sometimes you feel so relaxed
in a person's presence, you know
even if you haven't met them before
that you are perfectly safe.
It is one of the reasons why some animals, whether are dogs, cats
snakes or whatever
they can come up to you and they know that they are perfectly safe
and you are safe in their presence
which means you will never harm one another
It's wonderful in monastic life
because we develop that kindness to a such a degree
that sometimes these dangerous animals they do come close.
I was telling the people in the retreat
that some years ago, I came so close to a tiger, a big tiger,
he was only about four feet away from me.
That's absolutely true this huge tiger,
I was only four feet away and I wasn't all afraid.
Is that amazing?
Is that impressive?
It was in the zoo! (laughter)
There were big iron bars between me and the tiger.
That's why I wasn't afraid. (laughing)
But anyhow.
I've seen all these snakes in Thailand,
I quite like snakes, I felt very sorry for them
They do amazing things with
the snake stories..
When you have that kindness
you don't feel afraid and other people don't feel afraid.
When you don't have afraid there is no fear...
When there is no fear there is no pain either.
So much of the pain comes
when we tense up out of fear.
Because the needle is going into our body for an injection
or because... there is another type of pain
a pain of some sickness or whatever
inside of us.
So to overcome that fear, which again projects into the future,
we lose the present moment,
and that is a huge source of pain in our body, it's mentally added
to the physical feeling.
That's one thing which you can take away,
the fear of how this is going to work out,
whether you can stand it any longer.
Instead of being afraid
then you actually leave it alone, you let it be.
It's a wonderful thing that
there are times, maybe in each one of your lives
when you do have severe pain,
such severe pain you don't have a choice.
You know you can't fight it
you know you can't escape from it.
Your back is against the wall.
When those times happen
it's incredible you do remember some of these teachings
or some of these words of advise to let things be
not fight anymore, you can't win.
So you let it go.
There's many times in my life I have done that and
the result is really really incredible.
In the first book I wrote "Opening the Door of my Heart"
(or your heart or our hearts, everyone's hearts)
I told the story of very very very bad tooth ache
which I had in the jungles of Thailand.
I don't know why I am focusing on teeth this evening [laughter]
but this was a very bad toothache.
And again there was no telephone, no dentists for miles around,
you're in the jungles.
And there's no way of getting anywhere:
no cars, no transport in the middle of the jungles,
away from everywhere.
And it was such a poor monastery
there wasn't even any Aspirin or Paracetamol
in the medicine cabinet,
there was nothing to take at all.
I don't know why it is when you get these pains,
I know actually why it is now,
When you get these pains they always get worse at night time.
Why is that?
I think it's because the fear grows at night time.
And the fear makes that pain even more intense.
But anyway as it got very very late
the pain in my jaw was so intense..
I have read afterward, and the
dentist will say, this is true,
some of those pains, infections, in your teeth can get
so incredibly strong, they can affect the brain, they can drive you crazy.
And I thought it was really going to drive me crazy
that was the worst toothache I have ever had in my life.
Nothing else has matched that
anywhere close.
Intense pain.
And I was trying everything I could
to try and overcome that pain.
First of all my meditation.
But my meditation at the time I tried to suppress the pain.
Tried to get rid of it with the force of the will
Trying to move my mind somewhere else
so I couldn't experience that pain.
Never try that!
Never try focusing somewhere else
when there is a pain in one part of the body,
trying to focus on other part.
You won't be able to succeed
If it really is an intense pain.
The pain will keep compelling you to watch it.
So I couldn't even meditate,
the pain was just too strong.
We have another type of meditation which we do
called walking meditation.
We very slowly mindfully walk backwards and forward on a path.
Eventually I tried that but I had to give up that
because I was not doing walking meditation
I noticed I was doing running meditation
(laughter)
Because whenever you are in great pain
you are so desperate
you can't do anything slowly;
everything is jerky and fast.
I was running backwards and forwards.
The last thing I tried was doing some chanting.
Sometimes we have all these superstitions,
if you do some special chanting miracles can happen.
I never believed that at first
because remember I was a scientist before
theoretical physics at Cambridge University
we don't believe things that easy.
All this rigmarole of superstitious chanting
I never really believed that at all.
By I tried it anyway.
Which is what you do when you are desperate
anything you will try.
I tried the chanting and I had to stop that after a few minutes
because I realized I was shouting at the top of my voice
and I was afraid I'd wake up all the other monks
in this monastery
because again when you are desperate
you can't do anything softly
even when you speak, you're shouting.
And I had one of those wonderful experiences
when your back was against the wall
as Ajahn Chah used to say
"you can't go forward, you can't go back
you can't stay still.
You're really.... everything is just hopeless.
And those experiences,
if you ever have those experiences
you can't go forward, you can't go back
and you can't stay still.
Those are brilliant moments in your life.
The opportunities to see things in a different way
And the only thing I could think of
was those words "just let go"
And I did it.
I let go!
Because I had to; there was no choice.
And as soon as I let go
his is one of the great experiences of my life
immediately, not just after second or two
immediately the pain vanished.
It just wasn't there anymore.
And in its place was this incredible delightful bliss
I was actually happy.
It was such a weird experience that that could actually happen
You could have intense pain
and then let go, really let go.
And it was just beautiful peace.
Even though it was in the middle of the night
Couldn't do anything else, except just meditate for a little while
and then just lay down
not really go to sleep but have a very light sleep
because you are just too happy.
Woke up in the morning
and then I had a toothache not that bad
Went to see the dentist afterwards
The amazing thing was you can take an intense pain
and just by letting it be, it vanished.
What had happened was
I had taken away the emotional, mental part of that pain.
the physical part was there but
it was tiny compared to the emotional.
"I don't want, I can't stand this"
It taught me that what you add
what human beings add onto the
physical feelings of pain
is more than 90 percent of the feeling;
usually 95, 96 percent.
The feeling is only a feeling.
what we add onto it is huge.
And because of that, from that time on
I wasn't really afraid of pain.
Because you always know what you can do with it
you can't get rid of it.
The easy way is to take a Panadol, Paracetamol, an aspirin or something.
Or just to stretch or do whatever
you can to get rid of the physical discomfort.
But in the very end
you can always let things be.
What does it actually mean by 'letting things be'?
What it means by letting things be
is being kind.
I've spent a whole sort of week
trying to teach people
how to let things be,
how to let go
down at the monastery.
But sometimes it's very hard to know
exactly what you have to do.
So a much better way of describing it is like
"opening the door of your heart to the pain"
Not trying to get rid of it,
not rejecting it,
but respecting it, it's part of nature
and literally opening the door of your heart
not trying to get rid of it at all.
Allowing it to be.
Which is what loving kindness is.
When you really have loving kindness, compassion,
it's not just compassion to things you like,
it's compassion to things you don't like.
Treating everybody equally.
And every phenomena equally as well.
Cold or heat, whatever you like whatever you don't like
everything you open your heart to
with respect and kindness.
And if you do that
things which you don't like
they actually change!
It's an amazing thing to do,
The story which is usually the good one
for people with chronic pain,
the old story of the Monster in Emperor's Palace.
"Get out of here!"
I'm not going to go through the whole story
because I probably tell it every other week.
The Monster in the Emperor's palace
"Get out of here, you don't belong"
when this monster came into the palace
and at those few unkind words
the monster grew an inch bigger,
more ugly, more smelly
more offensive.
And when the Emperor came back
he knew exactly what to do.
Instead of saying
"Get out of here! You don't belong! Why are you sitting in my chair??"
The Emperor said "Welcome! thank you for coming to visit!
It's very wonderful you are here today!"
And at those few kind words, kind deeds, kind thoughts
that monster grew an inch smaller.
Less of a problem.
And that is a classic example
of how we deal with even chronic pain in the body.
Welcome it, instead of trying to say "Get out of here, you don't belong."
It's part of having a human body
we have pain from time to time
sometimes really chronic,
acute terrible pains.
It's part of life.
What do we do?
"get out of here, you do not belong, I don't want you"
That makes it bigger, more of a problem.
I tell that story to you because
it will come a time
when the pain-killers don't work.
What are you going to do?
Please remember the story of the monster.
Saying ''get out of here" makes it far worse.
Bigger, more of a problem
more difficult.
But if you can actually have the courage
and the wisdom and the compassion
To say "welcome, thank you for coming"
Then you will notice that
that pain would get an inch smaller
less painful
easier to bear.
You are overcoming pain
by realizing it's a negativity which we add to it is the
worst part of the problem.
The mental part
not the physical part.
And it works every time in which I had to try that.
When you give it kindness
just like that story of my food poisoning
two or three years ago
I don't have that many stories about pain
because I'm a healthy monk
I know how to look after myself.
But with that physical pain of the
food poisoning
I just gave that food poisoning kindness;
"Thank you for coming to visit me"
even though I was in agony with cramps
in my cave down at Serpentine.
And it took only 20 minutes
for that food poisoning to disappear.
just by giving it kindness.
You can understand what happens in your body
when you give a part of your body
kindness and compassion, it relaxes.
Because it relaxes tight parts, inflammations just opens up..
he body's energies can go in there
and do its healing.
But when you are really tense
you don't allow stuff to go into that injured part of the body.
Just learning how to relax, open up through kindness
allowed healing to happen really really quickly.
So sometimes, I know what to do
when there's a great pain.
But it's not just physical pain
because it's the emotional pains as well.
Sometimes you don't feel ...
How many talks have I given during the last week?
I don't know how many talks
because teaching a retreat,
there's usually two or three talks a day I have to give.
And ... anybody else sometimes ... "I don't want to give a talk tonight"
"I don't feel like it, I just want to go to bed"
"I just want to chill out, put my feet up and read a book"
"why do I have to keep on.."
But instead of actually getting negative
I know every time I get negative like that
I am making pain.
So instead just like the physical pain
you have beautiful compassion
to whatever you have to do in life.
You have to go to work in the morning;
"I don't want to go to work!"
You are adding the ...
you've got to go anyway,
so make fun!
Open the door of your heart to Monday mornings.
(laughter from the audience)
Oh! what joy to go to work on a Monday morning.
And look ..
there are some images which I can never get rid of.
I don't actually keep traumatic images,
I keep the opposite,
inspiring images.
I remember visiting the UK years ago,
And as I was visiting the UK
somebody was taking me from the South London
to Heathrow Airport in the morning, in the traffic
and the schools were going, the kids were going to school
And they had what they call the Lollypop ladies
these are the people who look after the crossings
Here in Australia they have flags.
Over in the UK they have these big poles
with this circular 'stop' sign.
And I will always remember
this woman maybe 55-60 year old woman
English lady with a lollypop,
she was dancing
she was doing rap with the lollypop
dancing away across the road
and she made so many people happy
that morning including me going
to work on a Monday morning,
me going for a long flight.
That's all you need to do!
Just add a little bit of fun
to being a lollypop girl.
So why can't we do that
on our way to work on a Monday morning?
Maybe sound your hooter:
but make it musical.
Do we have musical hooters?
Instead of just 'beep, beep, beep'
Can we have it like Beethoven's Fifth?
Be be be be beeee........ (laughter)
Just to make life a bit more interesting.
If you haven't seen in Montreal
Rodney sent me a picture of this the other day.
In Montreal, the Local Government there
have improved the bus stops.
Those of you who catch buses to work in the morning
sitting down on the chairs in the bus stop
that's really boring.
In Montreal they have swings
like in the children's playground.
So the people waiting for the bus
would swing backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards.
It's very innovative and much more fun
you have to do that.
But can't we make it more fun?
And apparently many people miss their buses
because they're having too much fun on the swings
[laughter] going to work on a Monday morning.
You have to do these things.
So why not open the door of your heart and give it more fun.
Which is the other thing about pain.
It's hard when you are in pain to laugh.
But sometimes if you can laugh
it takes away a lot of the pain.
Except, except, I remember
going to one lady, she was our Secretary here years ago;
a very nice girl, but like many women
eventually she had to have hysterectomy.
And if any of you women have had that operation,
it's one of the most painful operations.
And it is also because hysterectomy means
you can't have kids anymore
emotionally it's very difficult.
So she gave me a call,
"Ajahn Brahm can you please come and see me
I am feeling a bit depressed I just had a hysterectomy".
But she also said
"Ajahn Brahm, please, please, please no jokes; [laughter]
because if I laugh it really hurts".
And I did try my best, and I did fail (laughter from the audience)
the poor lady she was like oooh ahh ooh-that really hurt.
(laughing)
So if you think my jokes are painful
wait till you have a hysterectomy and hear them.
(laughter)
But it did take away much of her pain,
with a few laughs in the hospital.
That's why a lot of times if I go to the hospitals
and see people who are sick
I always have a few jokes up my sleeve to tell them
because that takes away the pain and the aches.
And that's why don't go into the hospital and say
"how you are feeling today?"
The most dumbest question in the world sometimes..
They feel terrible, that's why they're in hospital,
so tell them a few jokes.
What's a nice hospital joke..?
About the one... I think I told a few people.
It is from Indonesia or Hong Kong.
It's about that guy who went to hospital
because he had an accident on a motorbike
And they had to amputate his leg.
Unfortunately it does happens; it happens here as well sometimes
they amputate the wrong leg!
Have you been in a hospital...
actually even in these days
high-tech hospitals like we have in Australia
they actually write on there
"this one" (Ajahn pointing)
So they know which one they're supposed to be operating on.
As soon as they realised their mistake
they had to go into the surgery and
get the other one cut off as well.
And of course once he recovered
the first thing he did was hire a lawyer and sue the hospital.
But he lost his case.
He lost his case, he didn't have a leg to stand on!
(laughter)
So you tell that in the hospital,
these people having knee reconstruction surgery or whatever.
They laugh their heads off
so they don't feel so painful anymore.
Now you can see the laughter,
the funny side of pain.
People who have chronic pain,
please don't just give them more negativity.
When you can have some fun
with your body,
and also fun with life.
you find it doesn't hurt so much.
You can see just how much of life,
how much of the pain is what we add on.
and we can actually do something
we can add something else onto the pain.
Instead of the negativity,
"I don't want to be here"
"why is it me, how long is this going to last"
You put a bit of fun and kindness
change your attitude and what's happening in your life,
the whole world changes.
Just a general principle of Buddhism;
you can't change this world,
but you certainly can change the way you look at it.
You can change your reaction to it.
You can change your perception of it.
And that is all you need to do
to get past these things.
I remember just some of the other things,
of the pain,
one of our monks over in the monastery
he was having this really bad back pain.
and it's terrible, if you are a monk having bad back pain;
because you are supposed to be meditating,
Went to see his doctor; and he said
the worst thing you could possibly do
is sit cross-legged and meditate
with a back like that.
Stand up, lay down but don't sit.
And he told them "look, I'm a monk, meditation is my life,
I can't get rid of that.
But this was a very smart monk,
and because the doctors couldn't help him
he just changed a bit of his attitude.
And interesting what he did,
actually this is a bit off the topic,
maybe it's not off the topic, it was a chronic pain,
he did a bit of insight
a bit of thinking outside the box
because apparently the pain was because his spine was degenerated
and was very weak.
So what he did was,
to compensate the weakness in his spine
by learning how to develop the muscles either side of his spine.
Starting off just by touching his back,
with his fingers, the muscles on either side of the spine
to become aware of them
There is so much of our body we are not aware of at all.
Because we don't need to be.
And by keeping on stroking those muscles either side of the spine
soon he became aware of the
very existence of those muscles.
In neurology you are making those connections
in the brain.
So you can feel those muscles.
And then next thing with a bit of trial and error
once he was aware of those muscles
even without touching them
he could learn how to stretch them
trial and error the awareness could see
how they stretch and how they contract.
Once he could do that,
next stage he could exercise those muscles
just like you exercise your arms or exercise your legs through running.
By working those muscles he
exercised them and of course
every time they exercise
they got stronger and stronger and stronger
until they became so strong
much stronger than my equivalent muscles
because I don't need them I've got a good back
His muscles became so strong
they compensated for the weakness in his spine and
now he can meditate without any problem.
Brilliant little way of finding another way
to overcome things like pain.
Use some thinking outside the box
use some different methods.
And a lot of times he was just using some mindfulness
which not many people have.
If you do have chronic headaches,
why? Be aware.
Sometimes all the awareness can do
you can see sometimes a chronic headache
gets a tiny bit less.
Why?
Mindfulness is always something which
gives you feedback.
You can see, things change,
the pain is not always the same,
It's chronic, it's always there
but it gets worse, it gets better.
Finding the causes,
And if you can find the causes,
what makes it less painful
then you have some control over the pain.
You know what makes it worse,
what makes it better,
and you can keep adding that better
better better
until a lot of times the pain gets
very very easy to bear.
One of those things which you will notice
always makes it better is
the kindness, the softness.
Not the fear,
The fear makes it worse.
Fear takes an ordinary pain
and makes it into a huge pain.
Which is one of the reasons the pain gets worse at night.
Fear.
Or it gets worse when you go and see the doctor.
So sometimes that fear
once you understand it
can be overcome with kindness
with a bit of laughter as well.
And that means you can have some control
over the pain in your life.
And of course it just doesn't work
with just physical pain
it also works with emotional pain as well.
I don't know what it is but sometimes
even doing the retreats
sometimes people say
they are sitting there hour after hour meditating
their knees started to hurt
what did they do to overcome the pain in their knee
they could move, that's one way
the other way they said;
they start to love their knee
"Ah, knees, I love you"
and the pain vanished!
Just the same as that story I told you
playing soccer in the streets of London as a kid
falling over, going for a tackle and
falling over and scrapping the skin off my knee which really hurt, it stung,
and my mother would just crouch down and kiss it better
Just her kindness would take the pain away.
Every time that happened.
The kindness of a mother
I had my experiences,
would always take pain away.
Which is one of the reasons why
she would come and visit you in hospital
straightway much of the pain would vanish.
If you have someone you love very much
and they love you and you are very sick in hospital
whether it's emotional pain or physical pain
just the presence of someone who is kind and loving
takes a huge amount of pain away!
And if there's no one else who can do it for you
there is always yourself.
Because I live a lot of time in solitude
because I'm a monk
there's no one else who can visit me when I'm sick,
I can always visit myself.
And be kind to myself.
When I have that kindness towards myself
much of the aches and pains of life can vanish very easily.
Physical pains and even emotional pains
"Ah I don't want to do this, I'm tired. why do I have to do this?"
That type of negativity is very easy to overcome with a bit of kindness.
Opening the door of your heart
to the situation in which yo're in.
Not being negative,
not trying to get rid of things
but embracing life.
Embracing the difficulties,
doing things you don't like
the heat, the cold, the tiredness
the headaches, tummy aches,
whatever it is you are experiencing in life.
How about instead of trying to get rid of it all the time
welcome it.
Like the anger eating demon
be compassionate and then you will find
most of the pain of life would disappear.
Especially the chronic pains.
The pains you think are sometimes unendurable.
They can be endured very easily
with kindness, being in this moment, lack of fear.
Just simple teachings which you can learn here
which is one of the reasons why
in pain clinics they teach such things like meditation.
They do teach such things like mindfulness and kindness
because it actually does work.
It takes away some of the worst pains of life.
So you can be happy and free.
So that was a little talk because someone
asked me "Can you please, (they have someone with chronic pain)
"Can you please tell me how to deal with chronic pain"
so that these teachings you have here
can be useful to all types of people
maybe you haven't got chronic pain
but if I carry on talking much longer maybe you will
(laughter from the audience)
so maybe this is a good time to stop. Thank you for listening.
Audience: Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!
Very good! So some comments or questions about
learning how to deal with the painful stuff of life.
Here we go
This is from overseas
First of all see what countries we have today
We have USA and Toronto
First of all from the USA
Is there a way to distinguish fear from being alert to potential risks
or is this just a subtle from of trying to predict an uncertain future?
Again obviously if there's a bushfire
coming your way, you have to run.
If there's a tiger running towards you
and you are not a monk you obviously have to run in the opposite direction.
Some of these are obvious fears
but sometimes we have too much fear.
And sometimes, I think most of the times
we are afraid of things which don't really provide a risky future for us
we're just afraid of things
which probably never will happen at all.
Sometimes you can understand
there are some things which you should be afraid of:
one of the biggest things you should be afraid of
is fear itself!
In other words it's the fear which causes all the problems of life
most of the problems of life.
Still remember a little book which I read
by Edgar Allan Poe
He wrote these horror stories
which is why I like to read them.
As a young man
you always like to read weird stuff
especially because I wasn't supposed to.
In one of those books was The Masque of the Red Death
and it was based on the plagues which ravaged Europe 100s of years ago
And in this little book he was envisaging these demons
these demons who were the cause of these plagues.
And one day these demons,
they met together in a forest somewhere in Europe
and the demon from Paris said
'yeah I killed now a thousand people'
And the one from Berlin said 'I killed fifteen hundred'
The one from London 'I killed two thousand'
And the one from Brussels said
'I killed only two hundred and fear killed two thousand'
I remember reading that great insight of this author
The plague kills only a small number,
the fear kills more people than that.
Even I remember quoting that during the SARS crisis
or during the bird flu crisis
because many people sitting amongst you have come from Hong Kong
(laughter)
They are sitting right in here.
And maybe they have bird flu! (laughter)
And they are going to carry it into the Buddhist community
and start the epidemic in Perth!
Oh my goodness!
Do you feel a bit hot this evening? (laughter)
You can see fear kills more people than the disease itself.
And that's actually very true.
If you don't think that fear can kill
there is that story which I think I told a few weeks ago
of a guy in jail in England over 100 years ago
he was about to be executed by hanging
And some psychologists, some scientists
had permission to do this really gross experiment on him.
They went to his cell the night before his execution
and told him the law had been changed
he still had to die tomorrow morning
but this time not by hanging
he would have his throat cut.
And they let this poor man think about that all night.
In the morning at dawn as happens with executions
they came for him
tied his hands securely behind his back
put a blindfold over his eyes
led him to the place of execution
A priest gave him his last rites or whatever they did for him
and then they took a knife and they cut his throat
and he fell down and died.
That's what he thought.
He had his eyes blindfolded.
What had really happened
it was just the scientists and the prison governor
or whoever it was, the superintendent
took him to the wash rooms
and one of them pretended to be the priest
And when they finished reading out the sentence
they took a knife which was so blunt
you couldn't even cut butter with it
and they drew it across his throat.
He felt the steel on his throat.
At the same time the other scientist
just turned on a tap in the wash room,
and he heard liquid coming out
and he felt the steel on his throat
and he fell down and died
not a scratch on him.
A very famous psychology experiment.
If you believe you are going to die you do die.
That is the power of belief.
That is the power of fear.
That Edgar Allan Poe is very wise
fear kills as many people
probably more than disease itself.
So that is why
fear is one of the biggest risks.
Before when I was training to be a school teacher
we were teaching science
and it was only a matter of time before some kid
playing in the lab would pour
concentrated acid over himself
or they put in some metal objects
into the plugs and electrocute themselves
and we were never taught first-aid
So we insisted to get a GP in to teach us first-aid.
And they got this old GP before he was about to retire
really really wise old man
who just cut to the chase.
He said 'look if ever you see
any accident in this school or anyone
someone with their leg almost cut off, blood everywhere
lie to them.
Say ''that's nothing you will be OK''.
Even if you think they are going to die, lie.
He said because the shock kills more people than the injury itself.
And if you tell them "Oh that looks terrible!"
you could kill them with words like that.
I don't know whether GPs and doctors here would agree with that.
But I always remember that piece of advice
That always makes a lot of sense to me.
It's the fear which causes that reaction
which could just tip you over the edge into death.
So always lie to a person
to say "ah it's not that bad, you will be OK, you've got two legs, you can miss one!
(laughter)
Don't go that far... I think you got the point.
So I think there is too much fear around.
So much fear that it kills us.
What we should really fear..
which is only a small amount of stuff
that gets overwhelmed.
Anyway the next question
"People who are depressed, don't accept it
Also there is a social stigma attached to it,
it gets classified as a mental illness
depression is something I have struggled with off and on.
I started listening to Dhamma Talks (that's Buddhist Talks) to fix my brain
but the first step is to realise and accept that someone is depressed".
How can I help someone who I know is depressed,
how do I tell her that she is?"
Now first of all, they say it gets
sigmatized and classified as a mental illness
and people who are mentally ill
they think they are same as being psychotic,
it's a one-size-fits-all type of designation.
And there is no person who is depressed.
There are people who suffer bouts of depression.
But they are not a depressed person.
As I keep on saying
There is no person who is mentally ill
There's people who have episodes of mental illness.
The old story, there is no prisoners, sorry, there are no criminals,
there are people who do crimes.
There is no schizophrenics,
it's a person who suffers episodes of schizophrenia.
Straight away when you change the language
you avoid the stigmatization.
If you say someone is psychotic it means that's all they are
all the time.
If you say someone is a criminal
you think that's all they are
there is nothing to them except
the crime which defines their life
as far as yo're concerned.
So there's no such thing as a person who is mentally ill,
it is a person who suffers
bouts of mental illness.
So as soon as you say
you are a person... you are much bigger than that depression.
You are not a depressed person
you are a person who happens right at the moment
be experiencing depression.
So that's where you can take away
lot of the social stigma.
It's a temporary thing.
it's impermanent;
you are not always like that.
And as mentioned that great story, that great anecdote,
where the Professor of Schizophrenia in Singapore, some years ago
whom I met and I asked him "how does he treat Schizophrenia"
He said "just as you've been teaching me I do not treat Schizophrenia"
in a mental health institute in Singapore.
He said I treat the other part of the patient, which is not schizophrenic.
And I really really admire that guy!
You really understood, you've got it
you don't just treat depression
you treat the other part of the person which is not depressed.
There is more to them than depression.
You do get your bad days and good days
What about treating the other good days.
When you encourage that
it grows and grows, it squashes out the depression.
So realizing and accepting someone is depressed
yeah you go through bouts of depression
but never think you are a depressed person.
And always remember the other times
when you are not depressed.
Don't just focus on the two bad bricks in the wall,
the other 998 bricks and that's incredibly important.
And the other thing about depression, it's one of those
classic anger eating monsters I was talking about
"get out of here, you don't belong"
that feeds the depression.
Makes it worse, you get deeper into that pit of darkness
which is one of the reasons
when you don't feed the monster,
You don't say 'get out of here'
But 'Welcome depression. Thank you for visiting me.'
that actually overcomes it.
It stops feeding it
and it just fades away.
Don't get depressed about being depressed.
It's a hard thing to do but you can
change attitudes, it's not that hard to do
Sorry, I said it's hard to do and then not hard to do.
It can be done.
You see people who do it.
And that's one of the great antidotes to depression
Welcome depression Enjoy your depression
Because once you start enjoying it, it vanishes.
You are using a very very smart sneaky technique
to get around the back of depression
and overcome it.
So that's one way you can do that.
But it is also important to accept that you are feeling bad,
you are feeling depressed.
Truth is important but more than even truth
it's actually seeing a bigger picture
It's only bouts of depression
but not a depressed person.
You are a person, that has moments of depression.
That is more accurate to the truth.
Okay, any other questions from the audience here?
Yes, over there.
Question: I was thinking some people when they are depressed
usually they feel lethargic, they don't do things
and things like that, but
sometimes people could be just lazy and not do things
so how a depressed person
I mean people who frequently get depressed
how that person can identify
if he or she is depressed or just lazy?
(Ajahn laughs)
What's the difference between being depressed and being lazy? Not much
(laughter)
But one good way of overcoming depression
is that thing I was mentioning earlier on to the people at the retreat
seasonal affective disorder (SAD).
And coming in to Nollamara this afternoon
it was raining, it was dark
it just reminded me so much of London in December, January, February.
which is when you get Seasonal Affective Disorders (SAD).
People get depressed in London at that time of the year.
And no wonder why,
because there's no life there
everything is grey and dull.
And the old joke
People in London they wear grey clothes,
grey suits, grey hats
all the walls are grey
there is no colour in the sky, it's all grey,
the rain is grey, drizzle,
And everything is so grey
even the tea the English drink.
Earl Grey Tea (laughter)
No wonder they get depressed.
And at that time of the year
the light is so dull as well because
it is the Northern Hemisphere
the days are so short.
And the simple way of overcoming
that type of depression called SAD seasonal affective disorder
is to take those people into a brightly lit room.
You just turn the lights up
And you make them wear Hawaiian Dresses, really bright
over the top
and you play them very loud bright music.
And it's so stimulating
that the seasonal affective disorder disappears.
Everyone is happy.
Simple, stimulating the senses when you are depressed.
So if someone is in bed and they are depressed
play some Jimmy Hendricks
Play them something which is very loud and very bright
turn up the lights and
go in there, into their room,
with this brightly coloured skirt or something.
Just that amount of encouragement
that amount of stimulation
actually overcomes a lot of depression.
That is one of the reasons why on a retreat
people come on these retreats,
they have to get up really early in the morning
and it's very depressing when they first get up in the morning
which is why I have to entertain them
when I keep on doing these three great Sadhus
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu!
which means no one gets depressed in the morning.
You can see how you can liven people up
When you are depressed that's
probably what you need to do.
If you've got a friend who is depressed,
who can't get up in the morning,
just hire a band
get a few clowns from the circus to come in
and do the juggling acts by their bedside
Just make them laugh, stimulate them
and soon they wake up.
Sometimes we can be so dull;
and we just allow that dullness to get into our heads
rather than putting energy and fun into your life.
Like I try and do on these Friday Nights Talks.
Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't,
but you know that I do try.
So there we go.
That's why you can come to these talks
and you never get depressed.
except for today.
Because today you get depressed;
this is the last talk for another three months
Oh......
he he he (Ajahn laughs)
Okay, thank you all,
and thank you for those questions.
Now another question. Okay go on.
Question: It is about Euthanasia
Euthanasia is not the problem it's used all over the world.
(from the audience) I understand that (laughter)
(Ajahn) That's an old joke
(from the audience) It is embracing and welcoming death.
Ajahn: Yeah
(audience) I heard this morning on the radio someone who is around 40 something years old
imported the drugs .. and killed himself.
(Ajahn).. Euthanasia ... as Buddhism is concerned that is your choice.
You are the owner of your Kamma
No one should make that choice for you
So I make a big distinction between
euthanasia where someone else administers that drug
or injects you, which happens a lot in hospitals,
or voluntary euthanasia.
And voluntary euthanasia: what is your clear choice?
But to be a clear choice, it has to be made sure that choice has no coercion at all
you are not doing it because you are crazy or depressed or in a bad mood
no coercion from family and friends.
Has to be really a free choice.
There is something in Buddhism
that you are in control of your life,
and your destiny.
It is your Karma.
I may not agree that's a wise thing to do,
but it has to be your choice,
not other people's choice.
And many many times
when you look at people,
The time when I was really convinced
that voluntary euthanasia would be a moral thing to do in some cases
was when I went to the dementia ward to see my mother.
My mother was fine, but I met a couple of people in the dementia ward,
they were literally waking up every second.
And they were in a place they could not recognize;
with people they didn't know every second of their lives.
Because they couldn't remember.
And they were terrified.
I have done this sometimes,
I've woken up because I go traveling around overseas
Wake up in a hotel or in somebody's house
or in a temple somewhere
When I first wake up: "where the hell am I?"
Because I travel a lot.
That is quite scary.
Of course I've got my memory..
Öh yes I'm in Frankfurt today..
you remember pretty quickly so you are fine.
But I know what that must be like
every moment of your life
you are waking up and you don't know where you are, or who you are with.
No sense of safety at all.
Total terror, continuously.
When I saw two people having that symptom of total terror
you wouldn't allow that even in Guantanamo Bay
they let you go and rest for a while between being tortured or whatever.
But here it was constant.
That type of pain I wouldn't wish on anybody, that is really immoral.
So sometimes, with some of those experiences, you think that
if a person, they know that's where they are going to end up
decides voluntary euthanasia, you cannot fault them at all.
So I'm a supporter of that Bill, obviously with the safeguards.
So it has to be voluntary
with no coercion at all.
But I'm a supporter of that.
People have argued with me
but I say it has to be a personal choice.
Obviously if you are depressed
you are not making a good choice.
You are not really making a clear reasonable choice.
But if there's no depression there,
you are very clear about what you want to do
and why you want to do it,
I'd support that.
Audience: Ajahn Brahm, can I please ask another question?
Yeah, go on..
Sri Lankan Buddhist parents often scare their kids when they don't
observe five precepts, they scare them by saying
you know if you tell a lie you'll go to hell, things like that..
Did Buddha actually spoke about hell and heaven?
Yes the Buddha did talk about hell or heaven
but just telling one lie is not enough to have great consequences
especially if you are a young kid.
You've got to measure a whole life.
As I keep on saying: to go to university
you have to answer many many questions
in many exams.
If you get one question wrong
when you do your university entrance examination
that does not mean you don't go to university.
Maybe a hundred questions,
you do one wrong, 99 out of a 100,
you would probably go to Harvard or somewhere.
So one question wrong is not the problem,
it's when the kid continually lies
or when they continually take drugs,
that's the problem.
So just one or two mistakes
when you put that in the context of their whole life
is not that bad.
So your kids they will experiment, they will make mistakes,
they will do wrong things as their parents do.
So please don't just scare the hell out of them by saying
you are going to go to hell for that.
That's just totally wrong.
And also please don't rule your kids through fear.
I mentioned that last week.
Inspire them.
Give them some confidence.
And also to make sure that they are so confident
that they can make their own decisions rather than following their peers.
That's the problem with many people.
I mentioned that last week, I'm reinforcing it this week.
Because some families, they make decisions for their children
basically forcing them to what they should do,
when they leave their parents
then they follow their peers; the strong people in their peer group.
And those strong people in the peer group make them do stupid things.
It goes from parental pressure to peer pressure.
Rather than getting the kids strong enough to understand
what's right and wrong for themselves,
and strong enough to resist
the other people in their age group who say
"let's go to the nightclub and get drunk"
"Let's do some binge drinking"
"Let's do some methamphetamines"
They are strong enough to say "no"
Because the parents have given them that degree of independence
to make choices.
If you don't reinforce that
You'll find yeah you tell your children
to do what you tell them to do when they are at home
and then they do what their peers
tell them to do when they are out on the street.
Some of those peers cannot be trusted.
Audience: Ajahn Brahm, Buddhism sometimes really confuses me
because you talk about hell and heaven
and also in real life you can see in this world
you can see hell and heaven
(Ajahn: Indeed, yes)
so it is confusing because
you can get punished for your sins whatever
in this real life as well
and why do you need another hell?
Ajahn: First of all, you don't get punished for your sins
they say you get punished by your sins.
Just doing a bad thing, really hurts you.
So it's not that type of idea of punishment
it's just doing stuff that really hurts,
you feel really bad about it.
But this is a hell and heaven in this life..
yeah you can actually see that
But it is also another question
totally about what happens after you die
and that stream of consciousness
going on after you die.
That has been proven,
if anyone is scientific, has got their scientific integrity,
and actually bothers to look at the evidence
and bothers to consider it with a rational mind
reincarnation or rebirth is actually a fact.
The evidence is compelling, there's too much evidence out there
to not really consider it and
not come to the obvious conclusion
whether you're a Buddhist or not
that when you die you continue on
and then afterwards once we establish reincarnation or rebirth
then where you get reborn
and of course yeah there will be
lower realms. higher realms
and there is evidence for that too.
I've been around a long time I don't believe in these things easily
only when it's really strong evidence
things you see, things you know happen
There are things like heavens and hells after you die.
And if you don't believe me
when you die you can come back and tell me off
(laughter from the audience)
I better stop now because
if you want to come up please come up afterwards
and we can chat.
We are already quite late.
and I know we've got people from Hong Kong and Singapore
they've got to go back to Jhana Grove, it's a long journey.
So please if you want to come up and take the question further
please you're most welcome
but now we're just going to pay respects to Buddha Dharma and Sangha
and then we can finish off the formal part of this evening
Araham samma-sambuddho bhagava Buddham bhagavantam abhivademi.
Svakkhato bhagavata dhammo Dhammam namassami.
Supatipanno bhagavato savakasangho sangham namami.
Very good