WEBVTT 00:00:00.018 --> 00:00:02.280 So there will be a few people coming in and going out 00:00:02.280 --> 00:00:04.418 that's the nature of these things 00:00:04.418 --> 00:00:08.238 but for this evening's Dhamma talk there were some other suggestions 00:00:08.238 --> 00:00:11.058 were passed through to me 00:00:11.757 --> 00:00:14.918 and the main topic of the talk this evening is 00:00:14.918 --> 00:00:18.699 about a person who asked how do you deal with chronic pain? 00:00:18.699 --> 00:00:22.919 and what sort of techniques of meditation, of Buddhism, attitudes 00:00:22.919 --> 00:00:24.700 can actually help with that. 00:00:24.700 --> 00:00:28.310 I wanted to expand that not just with chronic pain 00:00:28.310 --> 00:00:31.824 but also other things which one doesn't like in life 00:00:32.995 --> 00:00:35.925 because I know there is a real chronic pain 00:00:35.925 --> 00:00:39.131 but there's also those people who are pains in the back side 00:00:39.131 --> 00:00:41.278 and they are very chronic 00:00:41.278 --> 00:00:43.835 and how do we deal with those as well 00:00:43.835 --> 00:00:45.942 because it's the same attitude 00:00:45.942 --> 00:00:48.563 which we can deal with you know really really bad pains 00:00:48.563 --> 00:00:51.050 and other emotional difficulties as well. 00:00:51.050 --> 00:00:54.945 So it's how to deal with those chronic things which we just do not like 00:00:55.655 --> 00:00:58.638 and it may not even just be with emotions. 00:00:58.638 --> 00:01:02.500 I know one thing which everyone who comes here has to deal with 00:01:02.500 --> 00:01:04.511 every week when i give a talk 00:01:04.511 --> 00:01:05.997 is chronic bad jokes, 00:01:05.997 --> 00:01:07.437 (laughter) 00:01:07.437 --> 00:01:11.957 and the one today to get it out of the way is about the lady 00:01:11.957 --> 00:01:16.973 who actually her house burned down; and when she rang her Insurance Agent 00:01:16.973 --> 00:01:19.753 she said "just give me a cheque for the value" 00:01:19.753 --> 00:01:23.254 They said "we don't do that, we give replacement" 00:01:23.254 --> 00:01:26.257 we'll get you a new house with all the fittings in it 00:01:26.257 --> 00:01:27.977 she said, but can't i get a cheque? 00:01:27.977 --> 00:01:29.759 They said no, you get a replacement, 00:01:29.759 --> 00:01:34.122 she said ok I suppose I should cancel the life insurance for my husband then 00:01:34.122 --> 00:01:36.952 (laughter from the audience) 00:01:37.881 --> 00:01:40.271 she would just get a replacement 00:01:41.949 --> 00:01:44.891 ok there we go, another chronically bad joke 00:01:46.311 --> 00:01:50.542 but now we go to the serious part of actually how to deal with 00:01:50.542 --> 00:01:53.988 some of these difficulties we have in life. 00:01:53.988 --> 00:01:59.697 and basically it all revolves around a nice statement of the Buddha 00:01:59.697 --> 00:02:03.866 which said that there are two parts to pain 00:02:03.866 --> 00:02:07.127 to unpleasantness, to difficulty in life. 00:02:07.127 --> 00:02:10.155 and He said its the physical part and the emotional part 00:02:10.155 --> 00:02:13.978 the two arrows which go into a human body 00:02:13.978 --> 00:02:15.927 and He said the physical part 00:02:15.927 --> 00:02:17.065 is just part of life 00:02:17.065 --> 00:02:18.533 you can't do much about that 00:02:18.533 --> 00:02:21.250 but the emotional response we can do everything about 00:02:21.250 --> 00:02:23.458 and that is the key to understanding 00:02:23.458 --> 00:02:25.356 how to deal with chronic pain 00:02:25.356 --> 00:02:27.592 how to deal with things which we don't like 00:02:27.592 --> 00:02:29.302 things which disturb us 00:02:29.302 --> 00:02:31.682 ther's two parts to the pain which we feel. 00:02:31.682 --> 00:02:34.507 I remember some person gave me 00:02:34.507 --> 00:02:36.639 some research done in neuroscience 00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:39.036 They said whenever you feel 00:02:39.036 --> 00:02:41.151 a pain, sensation; say in the hand 00:02:41.151 --> 00:02:44.153 there are actually two pathways, goes to different parts of the brain 00:02:44.153 --> 00:02:46.238 it seems it almost does 00:02:46.238 --> 00:02:48.653 confirm physiologically 00:02:48.653 --> 00:02:50.844 something which the Buddha said, 00:02:50.844 --> 00:02:53.792 the one which is actually the ache, the pain, 00:02:53.792 --> 00:02:57.259 and the other one which gets the emotional response going. 00:02:57.859 --> 00:02:59.833 It's is amazing just how much we 00:02:59.833 --> 00:03:01.939 can change the emotional response 00:03:01.939 --> 00:03:07.180 we have to things like pain, to disappointment to anxiety and to depression. 00:03:07.180 --> 00:03:09.002 Even today someone came along 00:03:09.002 --> 00:03:10.927 and said how much they get depressed. 00:03:10.927 --> 00:03:14.148 And I said, well, depression is part of life 00:03:14.148 --> 00:03:17.030 Change your emotional response to it. 00:03:17.030 --> 00:03:19.513 Enjoy your depression! 00:03:19.513 --> 00:03:21.686 Milk it for everything it's worth. 00:03:21.686 --> 00:03:23.799 When you are depressed you don't have to go to work, 00:03:23.799 --> 00:03:25.497 you can sleep in. 00:03:25.497 --> 00:03:27.219 People give you food you like; 00:03:27.219 --> 00:03:28.892 they want to cheer you up. 00:03:28.892 --> 00:03:31.640 It has many advantages, when you get depressed. 00:03:31.640 --> 00:03:33.817 So don't think "Ugh, I'm depressed I don't like this" 00:03:33.817 --> 00:03:37.232 Again, change your attitude towards it. 00:03:37.232 --> 00:03:40.750 And then it becomes so positive you enjoy being depressed so much 00:03:40.750 --> 00:03:43.327 because you get so many benefits, 00:03:43.327 --> 00:03:45.589 then you are not depressed anymore. 00:03:45.589 --> 00:03:47.154 He he he (Ajahn laughs) 00:03:47.154 --> 00:03:49.968 Now that's an interesting little anecdote there 00:03:49.968 --> 00:03:51.976 of how we can change things around 00:03:51.976 --> 00:03:53.571 by the way we look at these things. 00:03:53.571 --> 00:03:55.537 When it comes to physical pain, 00:03:55.537 --> 00:03:56.844 things which actually hurt, 00:03:56.844 --> 00:04:01.341 again there is a lot of ways we can deal with that 00:04:01.341 --> 00:04:03.731 First of all with our attitude; 00:04:03.731 --> 00:04:07.352 because one of the biggest parts of pain, even chronic pain 00:04:07.352 --> 00:04:10.922 is the fear.. what's going to happen in the future. 00:04:10.922 --> 00:04:13.715 "I can't stand this any longer!" 00:04:13.715 --> 00:04:16.247 That's one of the reason why 00:04:16.247 --> 00:04:19.236 you know in the old movies or the old books where they say 00:04:19.236 --> 00:04:20.437 about torture, 00:04:20.437 --> 00:04:22.898 they say "this is going to hurt." 00:04:22.898 --> 00:04:26.281 They say "you are gonna wish you were dead." 00:04:26.281 --> 00:04:28.817 Why do they say those things? 00:04:28.817 --> 00:04:31.609 It's because that fear of what's going to happen 00:04:31.609 --> 00:04:35.683 that is even worse than the pain. 00:04:35.683 --> 00:04:38.994 That's one of the reason why I tell doctors and nurses 00:04:38.994 --> 00:04:43.865 Please when you inject something into someone 00:04:43.865 --> 00:04:47.715 don't say "This is going to hurt". 00:04:47.715 --> 00:04:50.787 That makes it hurt much more! 00:04:50.787 --> 00:04:53.165 You've all had experiences like that. 00:04:53.165 --> 00:04:54.684 I certainly have. 00:04:54.684 --> 00:04:57.255 I remember when I was a monk in Thailand 00:04:57.255 --> 00:04:59.305 walking barefoot on alms round and 00:04:59.305 --> 00:05:02.455 stepping on a nail - it went about two inches into my foot! 00:05:02.455 --> 00:05:04.024 It's a long way, 00:05:04.024 --> 00:05:07.570 a big 4 inch nail, it went right inside my foot! 00:05:07.570 --> 00:05:10.200 It didn't hurt at all! 00:05:10.200 --> 00:05:12.106 until somebody said 00:05:12.106 --> 00:05:14.314 "Wow that's terrible!!" 00:05:14.314 --> 00:05:18.077 and as soon as they said that it started to hurt. 00:05:18.077 --> 00:05:22.395 Have you had experiences like that? 00:05:22.395 --> 00:05:24.865 Again it's sometimes what we add on.. 00:05:24.865 --> 00:05:27.236 what we expect to happen to those experiences 00:05:27.236 --> 00:05:28.572 with those experiences. 00:05:28.572 --> 00:05:31.673 That is where lot of the pain comes from. 00:05:32.653 --> 00:05:39.340 So I'm sure you have seen all those movies, not movies but documentaries, on 00:05:39.340 --> 00:05:41.679 hypnosis and how we can actually change 00:05:41.679 --> 00:05:45.481 the reaction of our mind using hypnosis to physical feelings. 00:05:45.481 --> 00:05:48.391 Somebody told me there was one TV show 00:05:48.391 --> 00:05:56.287 where they put a person in a freezing cold tub of water 00:05:56.287 --> 00:06:00.023 but they convinced this guy under hypnosis 00:06:00.023 --> 00:06:02.175 that it was nice and warm, 00:06:02.175 --> 00:06:04.189 just like a warm hot bath. 00:06:04.189 --> 00:06:07.024 You like going in warm hot baths this time of year? 00:06:07.024 --> 00:06:09.562 Really nice, warm and hot is 00:06:09.562 --> 00:06:10.739 very very nice. 00:06:10.739 --> 00:06:12.116 I don't usually indulge 00:06:12.116 --> 00:06:13.862 but I remember one of the people here 00:06:13.862 --> 00:06:15.641 we went to Bhutan together. 00:06:15.641 --> 00:06:17.434 When I walked up this mountain 00:06:17.434 --> 00:06:18.813 when you came down again, 00:06:18.813 --> 00:06:20.387 all your legs were very sore 00:06:20.387 --> 00:06:22.269 because really exerting yourself. 00:06:22.269 --> 00:06:24.303 I remember just going into the bath, 00:06:24.303 --> 00:06:27.647 a good excuse at last, a monk can have a hot bath. 00:06:27.647 --> 00:06:30.183 Lovely just to relax there. 00:06:30.183 --> 00:06:32.537 But in this particular case 00:06:32.537 --> 00:06:34.387 it was ice cold water. 00:06:34.387 --> 00:06:37.620 But they convinced him it was a warm hot bath 00:06:37.620 --> 00:06:40.056 and he was having a wonderful time 00:06:40.056 --> 00:06:42.208 in the cold icy water. 00:06:42.208 --> 00:06:44.273 And I mention that story because 00:06:44.273 --> 00:06:48.733 a few days ago, it was very cold here in Perth. 00:06:48.733 --> 00:06:50.762 Did you feel the cold? 00:06:50.762 --> 00:06:53.297 Were you just freezing? 00:06:53.297 --> 00:06:58.042 In the early morning temperatures, 3 degrees, 2 degrees in Perth? 00:06:58.042 --> 00:07:00.542 Hypnotise yourself! 00:07:00.542 --> 00:07:01.580 just tell yourself 00:07:01.580 --> 00:07:02.823 "Oh! it is so warm today, 00:07:02.823 --> 00:07:06.067 Isn't it such a wonderful day today." 00:07:06.067 --> 00:07:11.797 And then you don't feel the cold. 00:07:12.932 --> 00:07:13.899 True! 00:07:13.899 --> 00:07:16.956 A lot of it is in the mind because 00:07:16.956 --> 00:07:20.177 we feel the cold, we don't like the cold. 00:07:20.177 --> 00:07:23.044 Remember, use your rational mind: 00:07:23.044 --> 00:07:25.433 cold is good for you! 00:07:27.083 --> 00:07:31.235 People who live in cold climates live much longer. 00:07:32.205 --> 00:07:35.523 Look, when you put the milk in the freezer 00:07:35.523 --> 00:07:37.709 it doesn't go off! (laughter) 00:07:37.709 --> 00:07:40.106 You put the cheese, the food in the freezer 00:07:40.106 --> 00:07:41.335 it lasts a long time. 00:07:41.335 --> 00:07:44.299 You are just like, same stuff as an apple 00:07:44.299 --> 00:07:47.458 So, wonderful! It's nice and cool, 00:07:47.458 --> 00:07:50.019 I can add years to my life. 00:07:50.019 --> 00:07:54.641 You've been frozen, preserved (laughs) 00:07:54.641 --> 00:07:56.851 So when you think like that 00:07:56.851 --> 00:07:58.272 you have a good attitude. 00:07:58.272 --> 00:07:59.762 and you find it doesn't hurt. 00:07:59.762 --> 00:08:01.835 How much of the life comes along when 00:08:01.835 --> 00:08:05.042 somebody says it's hot today. 00:08:05.042 --> 00:08:08.500 You are having a wonderful time until you see the temperature 00:08:08.500 --> 00:08:09.848 It's 40 degrees 00:08:09.854 --> 00:08:12.007 and suddenly you feel hot. 00:08:12.007 --> 00:08:13.301 So much of life... 00:08:13.301 --> 00:08:15.849 You've had those experiences yourself 00:08:15.849 --> 00:08:20.192 actually it's when we add what we expect; 00:08:20.192 --> 00:08:22.471 when a nail go into your skin 00:08:22.471 --> 00:08:26.534 we get afraid it's cold, or it's too hot 00:08:26.534 --> 00:08:28.792 It's amazing with the things 00:08:28.792 --> 00:08:30.022 we don't like in this world 00:08:30.022 --> 00:08:32.058 it is just basically conditioned onto us, 00:08:32.058 --> 00:08:34.349 it's what we add with our mind. 00:08:34.349 --> 00:08:37.807 Which is why you can do things under hypnosis 00:08:37.807 --> 00:08:41.546 and a person can sit in an ice-cold tank 00:08:41.546 --> 00:08:44.047 and have a wonderful time. 00:08:45.149 --> 00:08:47.703 So there's another part of our mind 00:08:47.703 --> 00:08:52.505 which can not react to that pain, that discomfort. 00:08:52.505 --> 00:08:56.487 And this is what we try and teach people with chronic pains. 00:08:56.487 --> 00:08:58.650 I always remember one of the guys who came 00:08:58.650 --> 00:08:59.943 here many years ago. 00:08:59.943 --> 00:09:02.161 We've been here about 31 years. 00:09:02.161 --> 00:09:06.718 And he had one of these very very bad chronic pain disorders 00:09:06.718 --> 00:09:10.051 something to do with the degeneration of the spine. 00:09:10.051 --> 00:09:14.381 And at the time he was one of about 8 or 9 people 00:09:14.381 --> 00:09:16.654 here in Western Australia 00:09:16.654 --> 00:09:19.728 who were legally allowed to take any medication, 00:09:19.728 --> 00:09:21.829 any drug, even prohibited drugs 00:09:21.829 --> 00:09:24.431 because the pain was so bad at the time. 00:09:24.431 --> 00:09:26.415 He could take anything. 00:09:26.415 --> 00:09:28.668 And he came up and told me that 00:09:28.668 --> 00:09:31.771 the hospital in Osborne Park 00:09:31.771 --> 00:09:34.894 which was dealing with these chronic pains sufferers 00:09:34.894 --> 00:09:38.204 had devised a scale so they could 00:09:38.204 --> 00:09:41.943 tell their friends and relations roughly what they were feeling. 00:09:41.943 --> 00:09:44.673 Because it's very hard to describe pain. 00:09:44.673 --> 00:09:46.300 You say "it hurts" 00:09:46.300 --> 00:09:48.348 Yes but how much does it hurt? 00:09:48.348 --> 00:09:49.730 Hurts a lot; 00:09:49.730 --> 00:09:51.179 can you give more details. 00:09:51.179 --> 00:09:55.510 So these doctors could take a brain scan 00:09:55.510 --> 00:09:56.970 and they could say 00:09:56.970 --> 00:09:58.642 exactly what type of pain it was 00:09:58.642 --> 00:10:00.216 and he described to me 00:10:00.216 --> 00:10:04.330 The level of pain which he was experiencing constantly 00:10:04.330 --> 00:10:07.246 was exactly the same as an 00:10:07.246 --> 00:10:09.117 ordinary person would experience 00:10:09.117 --> 00:10:12.819 if they were having their arm cut off with a chainsaw 00:10:12.819 --> 00:10:15.792 And he was experiencing that constantly. 00:10:15.792 --> 00:10:18.392 And that was an objective standard. 00:10:18.392 --> 00:10:20.397 They could do the brain scan and say 00:10:20.397 --> 00:10:23.217 this is what this guy is actually feeling. 00:10:23.217 --> 00:10:25.462 So you can imagine that degree of pain 00:10:25.462 --> 00:10:28.408 intensity he was feeling. 00:10:28.408 --> 00:10:31.637 And that was one of the reasons why he came to a place like this: 00:10:31.637 --> 00:10:34.323 to learn some Buddhism, some meditation, some psychology 00:10:34.323 --> 00:10:37.354 to deal with that incredible intense pain 00:10:37.354 --> 00:10:39.341 which was there all the time. 00:10:39.341 --> 00:10:40.776 I know one thing - he got this 00:10:40.776 --> 00:10:43.091 incredibly good meditation as a result - 00:10:43.091 --> 00:10:44.765 because he had to. 00:10:44.765 --> 00:10:47.239 There was a great incentive 00:10:47.239 --> 00:10:50.915 for him to find a way of being at peace with the pain. 00:10:50.915 --> 00:10:52.933 And he managed to do it. 00:10:52.933 --> 00:10:55.292 Because I remember him coming up to me once 00:10:55.292 --> 00:10:58.455 with a big smile on his face 00:10:58.455 --> 00:11:02.460 and he said "I've finally done it Ajahn Brahm, I've finally done it!" 00:11:02.460 --> 00:11:04.587 I said "What have you done?" 00:11:04.587 --> 00:11:06.282 And I knew he had been meditating 00:11:06.282 --> 00:11:07.958 and I sort-of second-guessed it. 00:11:07.958 --> 00:11:10.718 Have you got the ECG to be flat, 00:11:10.718 --> 00:11:13.942 to be able to meditate under the hospital conditions, 00:11:13.942 --> 00:11:18.788 so your heart stops, gets very peaceful 00:11:18.788 --> 00:11:20.569 He said "Oh yeah I did that weeks ago" 00:11:20.569 --> 00:11:23.915 "Now I got the EEG to be flat." 00:11:23.915 --> 00:11:27.873 So he could get so still in meditation 00:11:27.873 --> 00:11:29.735 So peaceful 00:11:29.735 --> 00:11:33.781 that even the ECG and the EEG flat-lined. 00:11:33.781 --> 00:11:36.000 Totally peaceful and still. 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:38.023 That's what he learned 00:11:38.023 --> 00:11:40.249 because of the extreme pain. 00:11:40.249 --> 00:11:44.706 He had to.. somehow be at peace with these things. 00:11:44.706 --> 00:11:46.736 And he found that was the way 00:11:46.736 --> 00:11:50.560 that he was free ...of the pain 00:11:51.439 --> 00:11:54.562 It just basically vanishes. 00:11:54.562 --> 00:11:57.409 I am just gonna go back a bit to attitude 00:11:57.409 --> 00:12:00.472 because I was saying earlier about how fear 00:12:00.472 --> 00:12:02.493 creates so much pain. 00:12:02.493 --> 00:12:04.668 When you think it's gonna hurt, its gonna hurt, 00:12:04.668 --> 00:12:06.002 and it does hurt. 00:12:06.002 --> 00:12:10.112 We always remember one of the Anagarikas you all know; 00:12:10.112 --> 00:12:11.875 who's being living in Bodhinyana Monastery 00:12:11.875 --> 00:12:13.400 for a long time. 00:12:13.400 --> 00:12:16.743 I always remember the time when I was walking to the workshop 00:12:16.743 --> 00:12:18.401 maybe 20 or 30 years ago. 00:12:18.401 --> 00:12:21.880 I was walking to the workshop in our monastery 00:12:21.880 --> 00:12:26.714 and I saw this man coming in the opposite direction 00:12:26.714 --> 00:12:29.301 he had a pair of pliers in his hand. 00:12:29.301 --> 00:12:31.361 And in the teeth of the pliers 00:12:31.361 --> 00:12:35.409 was one of his teeth, with blood all over the pliers. 00:12:35.409 --> 00:12:37.471 And I thought "What have you done???" 00:12:37.471 --> 00:12:41.998 And he said "Oh, I just took out one of my teeth" 00:12:41.998 --> 00:12:44.738 I thought "how can you do that?" 00:12:44.738 --> 00:12:46.410 Even I was impressed. 00:12:46.410 --> 00:12:49.659 This guy just took out his own tooth 00:12:49.659 --> 00:12:52.520 with a pair of pliers from the workshop 00:12:54.390 --> 00:12:56.680 "What did you do that for?" 00:12:56.680 --> 00:12:58.458 He said "just going to a dentist 00:12:58.458 --> 00:12:59.485 you know what it's like, 00:12:59.485 --> 00:13:00.460 you make an appointment 00:13:00.460 --> 00:13:01.996 and they don't have the right date 00:13:01.996 --> 00:13:03.522 and when you make an appointment 00:13:03.522 --> 00:13:05.636 you find its cancelled afterwards... 00:13:05.636 --> 00:13:08.132 Sometimes the Dentists are... 00:13:08.132 --> 00:13:09.712 They charge you a lot of money as well 00:13:09.712 --> 00:13:11.112 unless you are a monk, 00:13:11.112 --> 00:13:15.036 because the husband of the President is a dentist 00:13:15.036 --> 00:13:16.459 and does our teeth for free. 00:13:16.459 --> 00:13:22.461 Otherwise they get bad Kamma (laughs) 00:13:22.461 --> 00:13:25.006 So anyway ... no, they are very good. 00:13:25.006 --> 00:13:27.122 They are very kind and generous. 00:13:27.122 --> 00:13:29.512 But sometimes it is a lot of problems 00:13:29.512 --> 00:13:30.707 going to the Dentist. 00:13:30.707 --> 00:13:34.647 And we're living in Serpentine which is a long way from Perth 00:13:34.647 --> 00:13:35.883 it's a long way to go, 00:13:35.883 --> 00:13:37.687 a long distance, a lot of time. 00:13:37.687 --> 00:13:40.265 So he said I don't bother going and making appointments. 00:13:40.265 --> 00:13:42.167 I just do it myself. 00:13:42.167 --> 00:13:43.938 So he took his own tooth out. 00:13:43.938 --> 00:13:45.530 You can see in there why 00:13:45.530 --> 00:13:47.933 wouldn't it be wonderful if you don't have to go to the dentist 00:13:47.933 --> 00:13:49.222 and you do it yourself? 00:13:49.222 --> 00:13:51.288 There are many things you can do yourself these days 00:13:51.288 --> 00:13:55.310 Do-it-yourself hardware shops. Do-it-yourself dentists. 00:13:55.310 --> 00:13:59.445 But anyway, not to be recommended, I'll get into big trouble. 00:13:59.445 --> 00:14:02.658 But this was an incident where I asked him 00:14:02.658 --> 00:14:04.411 "how did you do that?" 00:14:04.411 --> 00:14:08.050 And what he explained was a very 00:14:08.050 --> 00:14:10.860 insightful little exercise, 00:14:10.860 --> 00:14:16.046 or a little explanation of how you can deal with pain 00:14:16.046 --> 00:14:19.893 by overcoming fear first of all. 00:14:19.893 --> 00:14:23.745 and staying much more in this thing we call the Present Moment 00:14:23.745 --> 00:14:25.359 He said to me 00:14:25.359 --> 00:14:29.175 "When I decided to pull out my own tooth 00:14:29.175 --> 00:14:31.513 instead of going to the dentist 00:14:31.513 --> 00:14:33.850 that never hurt. 00:14:33.850 --> 00:14:38.575 When I walked to the workshop that didn't hurt either 00:14:38.575 --> 00:14:41.007 When I picked up the pair of pliers 00:14:41.007 --> 00:14:42.626 that never hurt. 00:14:42.626 --> 00:14:46.638 When I put it on my tooth that was OK, that didn't hurt 00:14:46.638 --> 00:14:48.230 When I wiggled the tooth 00:14:48.230 --> 00:14:50.694 that hurt for about 5 seconds, 00:14:50.694 --> 00:14:52.287 and then it was out. 00:14:52.287 --> 00:14:54.254 And afterwards it didn't hurt that much. 00:14:54.254 --> 00:14:57.510 It was only like 2, 3, 4, 5 seconds, that's all. 00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:02.021 But you think about doing that 00:15:02.021 --> 00:15:04.390 and it starts hurting even now. 00:15:04.390 --> 00:15:08.464 Even though it's not your tooth. (laughter) 00:15:08.464 --> 00:15:11.611 Now you understand where pain comes from. 00:15:11.611 --> 00:15:14.468 You think "oh.. that's terrible!" 00:15:14.468 --> 00:15:16.789 You see that the anticipation 00:15:16.789 --> 00:15:18.722 the fear, the expectation, 00:15:18.722 --> 00:15:22.200 that is what hurts most of all. 00:15:22.200 --> 00:15:24.869 which is one of the reasons why 00:15:24.869 --> 00:15:28.483 that sometimes we can use that psychology 00:15:28.483 --> 00:15:31.066 to not live too much into the future, 00:15:31.066 --> 00:15:34.309 to overcome fear, to be here right now. 00:15:34.309 --> 00:15:36.745 And you find much of the pain of life 00:15:36.745 --> 00:15:39.273 just vanishes and disappears 00:15:39.273 --> 00:15:41.741 because you never have fear anymore. 00:15:41.741 --> 00:15:43.781 You never think this is going to hurt. 00:15:43.791 --> 00:15:46.323 You never think like that anymore, 00:15:46.323 --> 00:15:48.058 which means if it does hurt 00:15:48.058 --> 00:15:49.865 it only hurts for a couple of seconds 00:15:49.865 --> 00:15:52.647 and that's it, no more. 00:15:52.647 --> 00:15:56.295 So if we understand the fear component of pain 00:15:56.295 --> 00:15:58.378 than we can overcome that 00:15:58.378 --> 00:16:00.833 and just live much more in this present moment 00:16:00.833 --> 00:16:02.710 which we keep on training people to do. 00:16:02.710 --> 00:16:04.653 Right now you're not in any pain, 00:16:04.653 --> 00:16:05.555 no problem at all. 00:16:05.555 --> 00:16:08.051 Who knows what the future is going to be. 00:16:08.051 --> 00:16:09.990 And lot of the time the future 00:16:09.990 --> 00:16:13.006 is nowhere near to what you expect it to be. 00:16:13.006 --> 00:16:18.605 So you don't need to worry so much about that pain. 00:16:18.605 --> 00:16:20.377 Leave it alone. 00:16:20.377 --> 00:16:23.920 Just be here right now and you'll find pain 00:16:23.920 --> 00:16:26.028 is far easier to bear 00:16:26.028 --> 00:16:28.268 when you don't anticipate what's 00:16:28.268 --> 00:16:30.334 going to happen next. 00:16:30.334 --> 00:16:31.710 So often people say 00:16:31.710 --> 00:16:33.856 I can't stand it any longer.. 00:16:33.856 --> 00:16:36.579 it's the longer thing which is the problem. 00:16:36.579 --> 00:16:38.950 As long as you are in this moment right now 00:16:38.950 --> 00:16:40.849 you are already bearing it 00:16:40.849 --> 00:16:43.573 you are already being here. it's not a problem. 00:16:43.573 --> 00:16:46.652 It's our tendency to be afraid 00:16:46.652 --> 00:16:51.019 because we still live far too much in the future 00:16:51.019 --> 00:16:53.148 never right now. 00:16:53.148 --> 00:16:55.948 It doesn't hurt when you decide to take out your own teeth, 00:16:55.948 --> 00:16:57.972 when you walk into the workshop, 00:16:57.972 --> 00:16:59.191 or picking up the pliers. 00:16:59.191 --> 00:17:00.681 It's only when you put it on.. 00:17:00.681 --> 00:17:03.259 a couple of seconds, that's all, and it's out. 00:17:03.259 --> 00:17:05.235 Can you do that? 00:17:05.235 --> 00:17:07.495 You have to be able to train yourself 00:17:07.495 --> 00:17:10.486 in this mental discipline 00:17:10.486 --> 00:17:13.469 of meditation to be able to do that. 00:17:13.469 --> 00:17:17.315 And if you can do that, it makes life so much easier 00:17:17.315 --> 00:17:19.759 because we always have the aches and the pains 00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:21.048 and stuff which happens. 00:17:21.048 --> 00:17:23.391 And it's not just physical pain as well 00:17:23.391 --> 00:17:24.712 it's the other things 00:17:24.712 --> 00:17:26.833 like we're afraid of the interview, 00:17:26.833 --> 00:17:31.162 or we are afraid of going up to speak to someone we really like 00:17:31.162 --> 00:17:32.872 and invite them out. 00:17:32.872 --> 00:17:37.397 We are afraid when we go to the doctors to get the results of our biopsy. 00:17:37.397 --> 00:17:39.448 There is so much fear which comes up 00:17:39.448 --> 00:17:41.315 in this world, and I can't understand, 00:17:41.315 --> 00:17:44.593 sometimes people are even afraid to talk to me! 00:17:45.731 --> 00:17:50.606 I'm a monk, I am not a guard from Guantanamo Bay. 00:17:52.663 --> 00:17:56.340 Sometimes people are, they are afraid; 00:17:56.340 --> 00:17:59.458 and sometimes you ask why are they like that? 00:17:59.458 --> 00:18:01.697 One of the reasons is again because 00:18:01.697 --> 00:18:08.259 that fear comes from the lack of general kindness. 00:18:09.054 --> 00:18:11.514 Because when you are kind to anything 00:18:11.514 --> 00:18:13.702 you don't have any fear 00:18:13.702 --> 00:18:18.214 That kindness which you have towards yourself and to other beings 00:18:18.214 --> 00:18:20.668 is one of the great antidotes to fear. 00:18:20.668 --> 00:18:22.806 I was telling people in the retreat 00:18:22.806 --> 00:18:25.214 about the one time when I went to see 00:18:25.214 --> 00:18:27.441 one of my favourite monks in Thailand 00:18:27.441 --> 00:18:29.960 who died some years ago. Ajahn Thate. 00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:32.084 Going into his presence 00:18:32.084 --> 00:18:33.807 he was one of those people 00:18:33.807 --> 00:18:38.706 who was so soft and kind, who emanated that compassion so strongly 00:18:38.706 --> 00:18:42.301 I would never felt afraid at all. 00:18:42.301 --> 00:18:44.401 I mean - not at all! 00:18:44.401 --> 00:18:47.238 Which was a weird experience that 00:18:47.238 --> 00:18:49.955 you'd realize that monk could never harm 00:18:49.955 --> 00:18:51.444 you in any which way 00:18:51.444 --> 00:18:56.091 he would never criticize you, embarrass you or whatever 00:18:56.091 --> 00:18:57.555 in front of others. 00:18:57.555 --> 00:19:01.533 If ever you experience such kindness from another being, 00:19:01.533 --> 00:19:04.690 the feeling is that you don't want to move from their presence, 00:19:04.690 --> 00:19:06.411 you feel so relaxed 00:19:06.411 --> 00:19:09.098 because in so many other areas of life 00:19:09.098 --> 00:19:12.709 you've been hurt and you are afraid you're going to be hurt again. 00:19:12.709 --> 00:19:16.197 It's again this pain thing, and anticipation 00:19:16.197 --> 00:19:18.660 Sometimes you feel so relaxed 00:19:18.660 --> 00:19:20.977 in a person's presence, you know 00:19:20.977 --> 00:19:23.280 even if you haven't met them before 00:19:23.280 --> 00:19:25.276 that you are perfectly safe. 00:19:25.276 --> 00:19:30.008 It is one of the reasons why some animals, whether are dogs, cats 00:19:30.008 --> 00:19:31.274 snakes or whatever 00:19:31.274 --> 00:19:34.262 they can come up to you and they know that they are perfectly safe 00:19:34.262 --> 00:19:36.306 and you are safe in their presence 00:19:36.306 --> 00:19:38.674 which means you will never harm one another 00:19:38.674 --> 00:19:40.890 It's wonderful in monastic life 00:19:40.890 --> 00:19:44.049 because we develop that kindness to a such a degree 00:19:44.049 --> 00:19:48.128 that sometimes these dangerous animals they do come close. 00:19:48.128 --> 00:19:51.021 I was telling the people in the retreat 00:19:51.021 --> 00:19:57.079 that some years ago, I came so close to a tiger, a big tiger, 00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:01.021 he was only about four feet away from me. 00:20:01.021 --> 00:20:04.447 That's absolutely true this huge tiger, 00:20:04.447 --> 00:20:08.111 I was only four feet away and I wasn't all afraid. 00:20:08.111 --> 00:20:10.640 Is that amazing? 00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:13.051 Is that impressive? 00:20:14.529 --> 00:20:18.397 It was in the zoo! (laughter) 00:20:18.397 --> 00:20:21.523 There were big iron bars between me and the tiger. 00:20:21.523 --> 00:20:27.463 That's why I wasn't afraid. (laughing) 00:20:27.463 --> 00:20:28.678 But anyhow. 00:20:30.568 --> 00:20:32.513 I've seen all these snakes in Thailand, 00:20:32.513 --> 00:20:35.399 I quite like snakes, I felt very sorry for them 00:20:35.399 --> 00:20:37.362 They do amazing things with 00:20:37.362 --> 00:20:38.886 the snake stories.. 00:20:38.886 --> 00:20:40.699 When you have that kindness 00:20:40.699 --> 00:20:43.535 you don't feel afraid and other people don't feel afraid. 00:20:43.535 --> 00:20:46.137 When you don't have afraid there is no fear... 00:20:46.137 --> 00:20:49.440 When there is no fear there is no pain either. 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:51.298 So much of the pain comes 00:20:51.298 --> 00:20:53.467 when we tense up out of fear. 00:20:53.467 --> 00:20:57.837 Because the needle is going into our body for an injection 00:20:57.837 --> 00:21:01.253 or because... there is another type of pain 00:21:01.253 --> 00:21:03.343 a pain of some sickness or whatever 00:21:03.343 --> 00:21:04.856 inside of us. 00:21:04.856 --> 00:21:09.473 So to overcome that fear, which again projects into the future, 00:21:09.473 --> 00:21:11.498 we lose the present moment, 00:21:11.498 --> 00:21:18.147 and that is a huge source of pain in our body, it's mentally added 00:21:18.147 --> 00:21:20.703 to the physical feeling. 00:21:20.703 --> 00:21:24.590 That's one thing which you can take away, 00:21:24.590 --> 00:21:27.177 the fear of how this is going to work out, 00:21:27.177 --> 00:21:29.437 whether you can stand it any longer. 00:21:29.437 --> 00:21:32.109 Instead of being afraid 00:21:32.109 --> 00:21:35.604 then you actually leave it alone, you let it be. 00:21:35.604 --> 00:21:37.468 It's a wonderful thing that 00:21:37.468 --> 00:21:40.209 there are times, maybe in each one of your lives 00:21:40.209 --> 00:21:42.341 when you do have severe pain, 00:21:42.341 --> 00:21:45.330 such severe pain you don't have a choice. 00:21:45.330 --> 00:21:46.826 You know you can't fight it 00:21:46.826 --> 00:21:48.654 you know you can't escape from it. 00:21:48.654 --> 00:21:50.628 Your back is against the wall. 00:21:50.628 --> 00:21:52.393 When those times happen 00:21:52.393 --> 00:21:55.225 it's incredible you do remember some of these teachings 00:21:55.225 --> 00:21:57.526 or some of these words of advise to let things be 00:21:57.526 --> 00:22:00.061 not fight anymore, you can't win. 00:22:00.061 --> 00:22:01.946 So you let it go. 00:22:01.946 --> 00:22:04.393 There's many times in my life I have done that and 00:22:04.393 --> 00:22:07.483 the result is really really incredible. 00:22:07.483 --> 00:22:11.430 In the first book I wrote "Opening the Door of my Heart" 00:22:11.430 --> 00:22:14.844 (or your heart or our hearts, everyone's hearts) 00:22:14.844 --> 00:22:19.189 I told the story of very very very bad tooth ache 00:22:19.189 --> 00:22:22.093 which I had in the jungles of Thailand. 00:22:22.093 --> 00:22:25.324 I don't know why I am focusing on teeth this evening [laughter] 00:22:25.324 --> 00:22:28.089 but this was a very bad toothache. 00:22:28.089 --> 00:22:32.156 And again there was no telephone, no dentists for miles around, 00:22:32.156 --> 00:22:34.164 you're in the jungles. 00:22:34.164 --> 00:22:37.012 And there's no way of getting anywhere: 00:22:37.012 --> 00:22:39.476 no cars, no transport in the middle of the jungles, 00:22:39.476 --> 00:22:41.211 away from everywhere. 00:22:41.211 --> 00:22:43.043 And it was such a poor monastery 00:22:43.043 --> 00:22:45.941 there wasn't even any Aspirin or Paracetamol 00:22:45.941 --> 00:22:47.411 in the medicine cabinet, 00:22:47.411 --> 00:22:49.494 there was nothing to take at all. 00:22:49.494 --> 00:22:52.761 I don't know why it is when you get these pains, 00:22:52.761 --> 00:22:54.342 I know actually why it is now, 00:22:54.342 --> 00:22:58.160 When you get these pains they always get worse at night time. 00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:00.525 Why is that? 00:23:00.525 --> 00:23:03.410 I think it's because the fear grows at night time. 00:23:03.410 --> 00:23:06.623 And the fear makes that pain even more intense. 00:23:06.623 --> 00:23:09.913 But anyway as it got very very late 00:23:09.913 --> 00:23:12.509 the pain in my jaw was so intense.. 00:23:12.509 --> 00:23:14.576 I have read afterward, and the 00:23:14.576 --> 00:23:16.510 dentist will say, this is true, 00:23:16.510 --> 00:23:21.261 some of those pains, infections, in your teeth can get 00:23:21.261 --> 00:23:25.659 so incredibly strong, they can affect the brain, they can drive you crazy. 00:23:25.659 --> 00:23:28.143 And I thought it was really going to drive me crazy 00:23:28.143 --> 00:23:30.876 that was the worst toothache I have ever had in my life. 00:23:30.876 --> 00:23:32.277 Nothing else has matched that 00:23:32.277 --> 00:23:33.459 anywhere close. 00:23:33.459 --> 00:23:35.336 Intense pain. 00:23:35.336 --> 00:23:37.910 And I was trying everything I could 00:23:37.910 --> 00:23:40.177 to try and overcome that pain. 00:23:40.177 --> 00:23:41.963 First of all my meditation. 00:23:41.963 --> 00:23:46.294 But my meditation at the time I tried to suppress the pain. 00:23:46.294 --> 00:23:48.643 Tried to get rid of it with the force of the will 00:23:48.643 --> 00:23:50.792 Trying to move my mind somewhere else 00:23:50.792 --> 00:23:52.844 so I couldn't experience that pain. 00:23:52.844 --> 00:23:54.881 Never try that! 00:23:54.881 --> 00:23:56.800 Never try focusing somewhere else 00:23:56.800 --> 00:23:59.006 when there is a pain in one part of the body, 00:23:59.006 --> 00:24:00.611 trying to focus on other part. 00:24:00.611 --> 00:24:02.259 You won't be able to succeed 00:24:02.259 --> 00:24:04.044 If it really is an intense pain. 00:24:04.044 --> 00:24:08.860 The pain will keep compelling you to watch it. 00:24:08.860 --> 00:24:10.797 So I couldn't even meditate, 00:24:10.797 --> 00:24:12.891 the pain was just too strong. 00:24:12.891 --> 00:24:15.713 We have another type of meditation which we do 00:24:15.713 --> 00:24:17.728 called walking meditation. 00:24:17.728 --> 00:24:22.634 We very slowly mindfully walk backwards and forward on a path. 00:24:22.634 --> 00:24:25.664 Eventually I tried that but I had to give up that 00:24:25.664 --> 00:24:29.030 because I was not doing walking meditation 00:24:29.030 --> 00:24:32.113 I noticed I was doing running meditation 00:24:32.113 --> 00:24:33.393 (laughter) 00:24:33.393 --> 00:24:35.341 Because whenever you are in great pain 00:24:35.341 --> 00:24:36.490 you are so desperate 00:24:36.490 --> 00:24:38.274 you can't do anything slowly; 00:24:38.274 --> 00:24:40.293 everything is jerky and fast. 00:24:40.293 --> 00:24:43.261 I was running backwards and forwards. 00:24:43.261 --> 00:24:46.770 The last thing I tried was doing some chanting. 00:24:46.770 --> 00:24:50.149 Sometimes we have all these superstitions, 00:24:50.149 --> 00:24:54.454 if you do some special chanting miracles can happen. 00:24:54.454 --> 00:24:56.621 I never believed that at first 00:24:56.621 --> 00:24:58.655 because remember I was a scientist before 00:24:58.655 --> 00:25:01.072 theoretical physics at Cambridge University 00:25:01.072 --> 00:25:03.053 we don't believe things that easy. 00:25:03.053 --> 00:25:07.904 All this rigmarole of superstitious chanting 00:25:07.904 --> 00:25:10.653 I never really believed that at all. 00:25:10.653 --> 00:25:12.658 By I tried it anyway. 00:25:12.658 --> 00:25:14.768 Which is what you do when you are desperate 00:25:14.768 --> 00:25:16.776 anything you will try. 00:25:16.776 --> 00:25:21.185 I tried the chanting and I had to stop that after a few minutes 00:25:21.185 --> 00:25:25.405 because I realized I was shouting at the top of my voice 00:25:25.405 --> 00:25:28.245 and I was afraid I'd wake up all the other monks 00:25:28.245 --> 00:25:29.386 in this monastery 00:25:29.386 --> 00:25:30.987 because again when you are desperate 00:25:30.987 --> 00:25:32.561 you can't do anything softly 00:25:32.561 --> 00:25:34.856 even when you speak, you're shouting. 00:25:34.856 --> 00:25:37.366 And I had one of those wonderful experiences 00:25:37.366 --> 00:25:39.218 when your back was against the wall 00:25:39.218 --> 00:25:40.809 as Ajahn Chah used to say 00:25:40.809 --> 00:25:42.812 "you can't go forward, you can't go back 00:25:42.812 --> 00:25:45.313 you can't stay still. 00:25:45.313 --> 00:25:49.280 You're really.... everything is just hopeless. 00:25:49.280 --> 00:25:51.144 And those experiences, 00:25:51.144 --> 00:25:52.874 if you ever have those experiences 00:25:52.874 --> 00:25:54.593 you can't go forward, you can't go back 00:25:54.593 --> 00:25:56.010 and you can't stay still. 00:25:56.010 --> 00:25:58.425 Those are brilliant moments in your life. 00:25:58.425 --> 00:26:02.001 The opportunities to see things in a different way 00:26:02.001 --> 00:26:04.334 And the only thing I could think of 00:26:04.334 --> 00:26:07.018 was those words "just let go" 00:26:07.018 --> 00:26:09.155 And I did it. 00:26:09.155 --> 00:26:11.005 I let go! 00:26:11.005 --> 00:26:13.780 Because I had to; there was no choice. 00:26:13.780 --> 00:26:15.543 And as soon as I let go 00:26:15.543 --> 00:26:18.723 his is one of the great experiences of my life 00:26:18.723 --> 00:26:22.515 immediately, not just after second or two 00:26:22.515 --> 00:26:24.796 immediately the pain vanished. 00:26:24.796 --> 00:26:27.000 It just wasn't there anymore. 00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:31.250 And in its place was this incredible delightful bliss 00:26:31.250 --> 00:26:33.337 I was actually happy. 00:26:33.337 --> 00:26:37.223 It was such a weird experience that that could actually happen 00:26:37.223 --> 00:26:39.399 You could have intense pain 00:26:39.399 --> 00:26:42.539 and then let go, really let go. 00:26:42.539 --> 00:26:44.679 And it was just beautiful peace. 00:26:44.679 --> 00:26:47.517 Even though it was in the middle of the night 00:26:47.517 --> 00:26:50.667 Couldn't do anything else, except just meditate for a little while 00:26:50.667 --> 00:26:52.163 and then just lay down 00:26:52.163 --> 00:26:54.799 not really go to sleep but have a very light sleep 00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:57.058 because you are just too happy. 00:26:57.058 --> 00:26:58.729 Woke up in the morning 00:26:58.729 --> 00:27:02.232 and then I had a toothache not that bad 00:27:02.232 --> 00:27:04.490 Went to see the dentist afterwards 00:27:04.490 --> 00:27:08.360 The amazing thing was you can take an intense pain 00:27:08.360 --> 00:27:12.023 and just by letting it be, it vanished. 00:27:12.023 --> 00:27:13.793 What had happened was 00:27:13.793 --> 00:27:17.818 I had taken away the emotional, mental part of that pain. 00:27:17.818 --> 00:27:19.332 the physical part was there but 00:27:19.332 --> 00:27:21.370 it was tiny compared to the emotional. 00:27:21.370 --> 00:27:23.813 "I don't want, I can't stand this" 00:27:23.813 --> 00:27:26.519 It taught me that what you add 00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:29.669 what human beings add onto the 00:27:29.669 --> 00:27:30.858 physical feelings of pain 00:27:30.858 --> 00:27:33.697 is more than 90 percent of the feeling; 00:27:33.697 --> 00:27:36.441 usually 95, 96 percent. 00:27:36.441 --> 00:27:38.527 The feeling is only a feeling. 00:27:38.527 --> 00:27:41.811 what we add onto it is huge. 00:27:41.811 --> 00:27:45.077 And because of that, from that time on 00:27:45.077 --> 00:27:46.924 I wasn't really afraid of pain. 00:27:46.924 --> 00:27:49.131 Because you always know what you can do with it 00:27:49.131 --> 00:27:50.233 you can't get rid of it. 00:27:50.233 --> 00:27:54.923 The easy way is to take a Panadol, Paracetamol, an aspirin or something. 00:27:54.923 --> 00:27:57.163 Or just to stretch or do whatever 00:27:57.163 --> 00:28:00.091 you can to get rid of the physical discomfort. 00:28:00.091 --> 00:28:02.341 But in the very end 00:28:02.341 --> 00:28:04.582 you can always let things be. 00:28:04.582 --> 00:28:07.309 What does it actually mean by 'letting things be'? 00:28:07.309 --> 00:28:09.314 What it means by letting things be 00:28:09.314 --> 00:28:11.132 is being kind. 00:28:11.132 --> 00:28:13.161 I've spent a whole sort of week 00:28:13.161 --> 00:28:14.436 trying to teach people 00:28:14.436 --> 00:28:15.614 how to let things be, 00:28:15.614 --> 00:28:16.596 how to let go 00:28:16.596 --> 00:28:17.868 down at the monastery. 00:28:17.868 --> 00:28:19.789 But sometimes it's very hard to know 00:28:19.789 --> 00:28:21.667 exactly what you have to do. 00:28:21.667 --> 00:28:23.682 So a much better way of describing it is like 00:28:23.682 --> 00:28:26.430 "opening the door of your heart to the pain" 00:28:26.430 --> 00:28:28.824 Not trying to get rid of it, 00:28:28.824 --> 00:28:30.855 not rejecting it, 00:28:30.855 --> 00:28:35.082 but respecting it, it's part of nature 00:28:35.082 --> 00:28:38.199 and literally opening the door of your heart 00:28:38.199 --> 00:28:40.785 not trying to get rid of it at all. 00:28:40.785 --> 00:28:42.577 Allowing it to be. 00:28:42.577 --> 00:28:44.491 Which is what loving kindness is. 00:28:44.491 --> 00:28:46.917 When you really have loving kindness, compassion, 00:28:46.917 --> 00:28:49.113 it's not just compassion to things you like, 00:28:49.113 --> 00:28:51.187 it's compassion to things you don't like. 00:28:51.187 --> 00:28:53.932 Treating everybody equally. 00:28:53.932 --> 00:28:56.198 And every phenomena equally as well. 00:28:56.198 --> 00:28:59.115 Cold or heat, whatever you like whatever you don't like 00:28:59.115 --> 00:29:01.992 everything you open your heart to 00:29:01.992 --> 00:29:05.262 with respect and kindness. 00:29:05.262 --> 00:29:06.880 And if you do that 00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:09.101 things which you don't like 00:29:09.101 --> 00:29:12.404 they actually change! 00:29:12.404 --> 00:29:14.799 It's an amazing thing to do, 00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:17.572 The story which is usually the good one 00:29:17.572 --> 00:29:19.387 for people with chronic pain, 00:29:19.387 --> 00:29:22.697 the old story of the Monster in Emperor's Palace. 00:29:22.697 --> 00:29:24.034 "Get out of here!" 00:29:24.034 --> 00:29:25.642 I'm not going to go through the whole story 00:29:25.642 --> 00:29:28.101 because I probably tell it every other week. 00:29:28.101 --> 00:29:30.762 The Monster in the Emperor's palace 00:29:30.762 --> 00:29:32.428 "Get out of here, you don't belong" 00:29:32.428 --> 00:29:34.723 when this monster came into the palace 00:29:34.723 --> 00:29:36.201 and at those few unkind words 00:29:36.201 --> 00:29:38.181 the monster grew an inch bigger, 00:29:38.181 --> 00:29:39.472 more ugly, more smelly 00:29:39.472 --> 00:29:40.633 more offensive. 00:29:40.633 --> 00:29:43.892 And when the Emperor came back 00:29:43.892 --> 00:29:45.491 he knew exactly what to do. 00:29:45.491 --> 00:29:46.507 Instead of saying 00:29:46.507 --> 00:29:50.663 "Get out of here! You don't belong! Why are you sitting in my chair??" 00:29:50.663 --> 00:29:57.626 The Emperor said "Welcome! thank you for coming to visit! 00:29:57.626 --> 00:30:01.129 It's very wonderful you are here today!" 00:30:01.129 --> 00:30:05.948 And at those few kind words, kind deeds, kind thoughts 00:30:05.948 --> 00:30:08.627 that monster grew an inch smaller. 00:30:08.627 --> 00:30:10.426 Less of a problem. 00:30:10.426 --> 00:30:14.195 And that is a classic example 00:30:14.195 --> 00:30:18.383 of how we deal with even chronic pain in the body. 00:30:18.383 --> 00:30:24.572 Welcome it, instead of trying to say "Get out of here, you don't belong." 00:30:24.572 --> 00:30:26.539 It's part of having a human body 00:30:26.539 --> 00:30:28.302 we have pain from time to time 00:30:28.302 --> 00:30:29.956 sometimes really chronic, 00:30:29.956 --> 00:30:31.538 acute terrible pains. 00:30:31.538 --> 00:30:33.074 It's part of life. 00:30:33.074 --> 00:30:34.441 What do we do? 00:30:34.441 --> 00:30:37.094 "get out of here, you do not belong, I don't want you" 00:30:37.094 --> 00:30:40.994 That makes it bigger, more of a problem. 00:30:40.994 --> 00:30:43.428 I tell that story to you because 00:30:43.428 --> 00:30:44.785 it will come a time 00:30:44.785 --> 00:30:49.357 when the pain-killers don't work. 00:30:49.357 --> 00:30:51.435 What are you going to do? 00:30:51.435 --> 00:30:55.192 Please remember the story of the monster. 00:30:55.192 --> 00:30:57.305 Saying ''get out of here" makes it far worse. 00:30:57.305 --> 00:30:58.958 Bigger, more of a problem 00:30:58.958 --> 00:31:00.406 more difficult. 00:31:00.406 --> 00:31:03.856 But if you can actually have the courage 00:31:03.856 --> 00:31:08.424 and the wisdom and the compassion 00:31:08.424 --> 00:31:11.805 To say "welcome, thank you for coming" 00:31:11.805 --> 00:31:13.890 Then you will notice that 00:31:13.890 --> 00:31:16.478 that pain would get an inch smaller 00:31:16.478 --> 00:31:19.003 less painful 00:31:19.003 --> 00:31:20.987 easier to bear. 00:31:20.987 --> 00:31:23.903 You are overcoming pain 00:31:23.903 --> 00:31:28.217 by realizing it's a negativity which we add to it is the 00:31:28.217 --> 00:31:30.860 worst part of the problem. 00:31:30.860 --> 00:31:32.686 The mental part 00:31:32.686 --> 00:31:34.719 not the physical part. 00:31:34.719 --> 00:31:38.862 And it works every time in which I had to try that. 00:31:38.862 --> 00:31:40.698 When you give it kindness 00:31:40.698 --> 00:31:44.031 just like that story of my food poisoning 00:31:44.031 --> 00:31:45.403 two or three years ago 00:31:45.403 --> 00:31:47.705 I don't have that many stories about pain 00:31:47.705 --> 00:31:49.138 because I'm a healthy monk 00:31:49.138 --> 00:31:51.214 I know how to look after myself. 00:31:51.214 --> 00:31:54.920 But with that physical pain of the 00:31:54.920 --> 00:31:56.671 food poisoning 00:31:56.671 --> 00:32:00.042 I just gave that food poisoning kindness; 00:32:00.042 --> 00:32:01.875 "Thank you for coming to visit me" 00:32:01.875 --> 00:32:04.818 even though I was in agony with cramps 00:32:04.818 --> 00:32:06.818 in my cave down at Serpentine. 00:32:06.818 --> 00:32:08.773 And it took only 20 minutes 00:32:08.773 --> 00:32:12.898 for that food poisoning to disappear. 00:32:12.898 --> 00:32:15.150 just by giving it kindness. 00:32:15.150 --> 00:32:17.684 You can understand what happens in your body 00:32:17.684 --> 00:32:19.895 when you give a part of your body 00:32:19.895 --> 00:32:22.702 kindness and compassion, it relaxes. 00:32:22.702 --> 00:32:27.822 Because it relaxes tight parts, inflammations just opens up.. 00:32:27.822 --> 00:32:30.488 he body's energies can go in there 00:32:30.488 --> 00:32:31.777 and do its healing. 00:32:31.777 --> 00:32:33.381 But when you are really tense 00:32:33.381 --> 00:32:38.080 you don't allow stuff to go into that injured part of the body. 00:32:38.080 --> 00:32:42.790 Just learning how to relax, open up through kindness 00:32:42.790 --> 00:32:46.532 allowed healing to happen really really quickly. 00:32:46.532 --> 00:32:50.249 So sometimes, I know what to do 00:32:50.249 --> 00:32:51.734 when there's a great pain. 00:32:51.734 --> 00:32:53.642 But it's not just physical pain 00:32:53.642 --> 00:32:56.387 because it's the emotional pains as well. 00:32:56.387 --> 00:32:58.685 Sometimes you don't feel ... 00:32:58.685 --> 00:33:02.175 How many talks have I given during the last week? 00:33:02.175 --> 00:33:03.830 I don't know how many talks 00:33:03.830 --> 00:33:05.331 because teaching a retreat, 00:33:05.331 --> 00:33:08.562 there's usually two or three talks a day I have to give. 00:33:08.562 --> 00:33:13.776 And ... anybody else sometimes ... "I don't want to give a talk tonight" 00:33:13.776 --> 00:33:17.111 "I don't feel like it, I just want to go to bed" 00:33:17.111 --> 00:33:21.274 "I just want to chill out, put my feet up and read a book" 00:33:21.274 --> 00:33:23.368 "why do I have to keep on.." 00:33:23.368 --> 00:33:25.494 But instead of actually getting negative 00:33:25.494 --> 00:33:27.451 I know every time I get negative like that 00:33:27.451 --> 00:33:30.779 I am making pain. 00:33:30.779 --> 00:33:33.440 So instead just like the physical pain 00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:35.835 you have beautiful compassion 00:33:35.835 --> 00:33:38.914 to whatever you have to do in life. 00:33:38.914 --> 00:33:41.653 You have to go to work in the morning; 00:33:41.653 --> 00:33:43.433 "I don't want to go to work!" 00:33:43.433 --> 00:33:44.875 You are adding the ... 00:33:44.875 --> 00:33:47.237 you've got to go anyway, 00:33:47.237 --> 00:33:49.598 so make fun! 00:33:49.598 --> 00:33:53.375 Open the door of your heart to Monday mornings. 00:33:53.375 --> 00:33:57.566 (laughter from the audience) 00:33:57.566 --> 00:34:02.274 Oh! what joy to go to work on a Monday morning. 00:34:02.274 --> 00:34:04.160 And look .. 00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:07.640 there are some images which I can never get rid of. 00:34:07.640 --> 00:34:09.999 I don't actually keep traumatic images, 00:34:09.999 --> 00:34:11.370 I keep the opposite, 00:34:11.370 --> 00:34:13.200 inspiring images. 00:34:13.200 --> 00:34:16.536 I remember visiting the UK years ago, 00:34:16.536 --> 00:34:18.925 And as I was visiting the UK 00:34:18.925 --> 00:34:21.732 somebody was taking me from the South London 00:34:21.732 --> 00:34:25.673 to Heathrow Airport in the morning, in the traffic 00:34:25.673 --> 00:34:29.478 and the schools were going, the kids were going to school 00:34:29.478 --> 00:34:32.528 And they had what they call the Lollypop ladies 00:34:32.528 --> 00:34:35.057 these are the people who look after the crossings 00:34:35.057 --> 00:34:37.363 Here in Australia they have flags. 00:34:37.363 --> 00:34:39.631 Over in the UK they have these big poles 00:34:39.631 --> 00:34:42.011 with this circular 'stop' sign. 00:34:42.011 --> 00:34:44.292 And I will always remember 00:34:44.292 --> 00:34:49.378 this woman maybe 55-60 year old woman 00:34:49.378 --> 00:34:52.059 English lady with a lollypop, 00:34:52.059 --> 00:34:53.455 she was dancing 00:34:53.455 --> 00:34:56.618 she was doing rap with the lollypop 00:34:56.618 --> 00:34:58.791 dancing away across the road 00:34:58.791 --> 00:35:01.923 and she made so many people happy 00:35:01.923 --> 00:35:03.594 that morning including me going 00:35:03.594 --> 00:35:04.974 to work on a Monday morning, 00:35:04.974 --> 00:35:06.954 me going for a long flight. 00:35:06.954 --> 00:35:08.471 That's all you need to do! 00:35:08.471 --> 00:35:09.972 Just add a little bit of fun 00:35:09.972 --> 00:35:13.618 to being a lollypop girl. 00:35:13.618 --> 00:35:15.807 So why can't we do that 00:35:15.807 --> 00:35:19.693 on our way to work on a Monday morning? 00:35:19.693 --> 00:35:21.896 Maybe sound your hooter: 00:35:21.896 --> 00:35:24.206 but make it musical. 00:35:24.206 --> 00:35:28.117 Do we have musical hooters? 00:35:28.117 --> 00:35:31.299 Instead of just 'beep, beep, beep' 00:35:31.299 --> 00:35:34.093 Can we have it like Beethoven's Fifth? 00:35:34.093 --> 00:35:37.947 Be be be be beeee........ (laughter) 00:35:37.947 --> 00:35:41.150 Just to make life a bit more interesting. 00:35:41.150 --> 00:35:44.016 If you haven't seen in Montreal 00:35:44.016 --> 00:35:46.702 Rodney sent me a picture of this the other day. 00:35:46.702 --> 00:35:50.671 In Montreal, the Local Government there 00:35:50.671 --> 00:35:53.076 have improved the bus stops. 00:35:53.076 --> 00:35:55.847 Those of you who catch buses to work in the morning 00:35:55.847 --> 00:35:58.325 sitting down on the chairs in the bus stop 00:35:58.325 --> 00:35:59.675 that's really boring. 00:35:59.675 --> 00:36:02.479 In Montreal they have swings 00:36:02.479 --> 00:36:05.529 like in the children's playground. 00:36:05.529 --> 00:36:07.378 So the people waiting for the bus 00:36:07.378 --> 00:36:10.550 would swing backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. 00:36:10.550 --> 00:36:12.713 It's very innovative and much more fun 00:36:12.713 --> 00:36:14.664 you have to do that. 00:36:14.664 --> 00:36:17.562 But can't we make it more fun? 00:36:17.562 --> 00:36:20.151 And apparently many people miss their buses 00:36:20.151 --> 00:36:21.974 because they're having too much fun on the swings 00:36:21.974 --> 00:36:25.277 [laughter] going to work on a Monday morning. 00:36:25.277 --> 00:36:27.510 You have to do these things. 00:36:27.510 --> 00:36:31.933 So why not open the door of your heart and give it more fun. 00:36:31.933 --> 00:36:34.808 Which is the other thing about pain. 00:36:34.808 --> 00:36:39.508 It's hard when you are in pain to laugh. 00:36:39.508 --> 00:36:41.666 But sometimes if you can laugh 00:36:41.666 --> 00:36:44.710 it takes away a lot of the pain. 00:36:44.710 --> 00:36:47.777 Except, except, I remember 00:36:47.777 --> 00:36:53.100 going to one lady, she was our Secretary here years ago; 00:36:53.100 --> 00:36:56.312 a very nice girl, but like many women 00:36:56.312 --> 00:36:59.901 eventually she had to have hysterectomy. 00:36:59.901 --> 00:37:02.757 And if any of you women have had that operation, 00:37:02.757 --> 00:37:05.241 it's one of the most painful operations. 00:37:05.241 --> 00:37:07.497 And it is also because hysterectomy means 00:37:07.497 --> 00:37:09.036 you can't have kids anymore 00:37:09.036 --> 00:37:10.625 emotionally it's very difficult. 00:37:10.625 --> 00:37:11.842 So she gave me a call, 00:37:11.842 --> 00:37:13.886 "Ajahn Brahm can you please come and see me 00:37:13.886 --> 00:37:16.636 I am feeling a bit depressed I just had a hysterectomy". 00:37:16.636 --> 00:37:17.718 But she also said 00:37:17.718 --> 00:37:22.110 "Ajahn Brahm, please, please, please no jokes; [laughter] 00:37:22.110 --> 00:37:25.693 because if I laugh it really hurts". 00:37:25.693 --> 00:37:29.746 And I did try my best, and I did fail (laughter from the audience) 00:37:29.746 --> 00:37:36.059 the poor lady she was like oooh ahh ooh-that really hurt. 00:37:36.059 --> 00:37:39.689 (laughing) 00:37:39.689 --> 00:37:41.567 So if you think my jokes are painful 00:37:41.567 --> 00:37:44.516 wait till you have a hysterectomy and hear them. 00:37:44.516 --> 00:37:47.956 (laughter) 00:37:47.956 --> 00:37:50.941 But it did take away much of her pain, 00:37:50.941 --> 00:37:53.375 with a few laughs in the hospital. 00:37:53.375 --> 00:37:56.581 That's why a lot of times if I go to the hospitals 00:37:56.581 --> 00:37:58.582 and see people who are sick 00:37:58.582 --> 00:38:01.337 I always have a few jokes up my sleeve to tell them 00:38:01.337 --> 00:38:04.133 because that takes away the pain and the aches. 00:38:04.133 --> 00:38:06.596 And that's why don't go into the hospital and say 00:38:06.596 --> 00:38:08.426 "how you are feeling today?" 00:38:08.426 --> 00:38:12.695 The most dumbest question in the world sometimes.. 00:38:12.695 --> 00:38:15.231 They feel terrible, that's why they're in hospital, 00:38:15.231 --> 00:38:17.504 so tell them a few jokes. 00:38:17.504 --> 00:38:20.267 What's a nice hospital joke..? 00:38:20.267 --> 00:38:23.655 About the one... I think I told a few people. 00:38:23.655 --> 00:38:26.685 It is from Indonesia or Hong Kong. 00:38:26.685 --> 00:38:28.889 It's about that guy who went to hospital 00:38:28.889 --> 00:38:32.726 because he had an accident on a motorbike 00:38:32.726 --> 00:38:36.379 And they had to amputate his leg. 00:38:36.379 --> 00:38:40.178 Unfortunately it does happens; it happens here as well sometimes 00:38:40.178 --> 00:38:42.905 they amputate the wrong leg! 00:38:42.905 --> 00:38:44.808 Have you been in a hospital... 00:38:44.808 --> 00:38:46.996 actually even in these days 00:38:46.996 --> 00:38:49.186 high-tech hospitals like we have in Australia 00:38:49.186 --> 00:38:51.032 they actually write on there 00:38:51.032 --> 00:38:52.582 "this one" (Ajahn pointing) 00:38:52.582 --> 00:38:55.428 So they know which one they're supposed to be operating on. 00:38:55.428 --> 00:38:58.278 As soon as they realised their mistake 00:38:58.278 --> 00:39:00.847 they had to go into the surgery and 00:39:00.847 --> 00:39:03.567 get the other one cut off as well. 00:39:03.567 --> 00:39:05.471 And of course once he recovered 00:39:05.471 --> 00:39:09.516 the first thing he did was hire a lawyer and sue the hospital. 00:39:09.516 --> 00:39:11.585 But he lost his case. 00:39:11.585 --> 00:39:14.518 He lost his case, he didn't have a leg to stand on! 00:39:14.518 --> 00:39:18.172 (laughter) 00:39:18.172 --> 00:39:20.622 So you tell that in the hospital, 00:39:20.622 --> 00:39:24.353 these people having knee reconstruction surgery or whatever. 00:39:24.353 --> 00:39:25.971 They laugh their heads off 00:39:25.971 --> 00:39:27.965 so they don't feel so painful anymore. 00:39:27.965 --> 00:39:29.511 Now you can see the laughter, 00:39:29.511 --> 00:39:31.320 the funny side of pain. 00:39:31.320 --> 00:39:33.877 People who have chronic pain, 00:39:33.877 --> 00:39:37.045 please don't just give them more negativity. 00:39:37.045 --> 00:39:38.767 When you can have some fun 00:39:38.767 --> 00:39:40.114 with your body, 00:39:40.114 --> 00:39:43.092 and also fun with life. 00:39:43.092 --> 00:39:46.525 you find it doesn't hurt so much. 00:39:46.525 --> 00:39:49.106 You can see just how much of life, 00:39:49.106 --> 00:39:51.027 how much of the pain is what we add on. 00:39:51.027 --> 00:39:52.373 and we can actually do something 00:39:52.373 --> 00:39:54.605 we can add something else onto the pain. 00:39:54.605 --> 00:39:56.030 Instead of the negativity, 00:39:56.030 --> 00:39:57.273 "I don't want to be here" 00:39:57.273 --> 00:40:00.112 "why is it me, how long is this going to last" 00:40:00.112 --> 00:40:03.333 You put a bit of fun and kindness 00:40:03.333 --> 00:40:06.016 change your attitude and what's happening in your life, 00:40:06.016 --> 00:40:08.909 the whole world changes. 00:40:08.909 --> 00:40:11.079 Just a general principle of Buddhism; 00:40:11.079 --> 00:40:13.034 you can't change this world, 00:40:13.034 --> 00:40:15.624 but you certainly can change the way you look at it. 00:40:15.624 --> 00:40:18.474 You can change your reaction to it. 00:40:18.474 --> 00:40:21.113 You can change your perception of it. 00:40:21.113 --> 00:40:23.366 And that is all you need to do 00:40:23.366 --> 00:40:26.678 to get past these things. 00:40:27.758 --> 00:40:30.905 I remember just some of the other things, 00:40:30.905 --> 00:40:33.698 of the pain, 00:40:33.698 --> 00:40:36.972 one of our monks over in the monastery 00:40:36.972 --> 00:40:40.304 he was having this really bad back pain. 00:40:40.304 --> 00:40:45.376 and it's terrible, if you are a monk having bad back pain; 00:40:45.376 --> 00:40:47.501 because you are supposed to be meditating, 00:40:47.501 --> 00:40:48.945 Went to see his doctor; and he said 00:40:48.945 --> 00:40:50.416 the worst thing you could possibly do 00:40:50.416 --> 00:40:52.286 is sit cross-legged and meditate 00:40:52.286 --> 00:40:53.912 with a back like that. 00:40:53.912 --> 00:40:57.140 Stand up, lay down but don't sit. 00:40:57.140 --> 00:41:01.013 And he told them "look, I'm a monk, meditation is my life, 00:41:01.013 --> 00:41:03.066 I can't get rid of that. 00:41:03.066 --> 00:41:05.663 But this was a very smart monk, 00:41:05.663 --> 00:41:08.176 and because the doctors couldn't help him 00:41:08.176 --> 00:41:10.236 he just changed a bit of his attitude. 00:41:10.236 --> 00:41:12.020 And interesting what he did, 00:41:12.020 --> 00:41:16.563 actually this is a bit off the topic, 00:41:16.563 --> 00:41:19.401 maybe it's not off the topic, it was a chronic pain, 00:41:19.401 --> 00:41:22.372 he did a bit of insight 00:41:22.372 --> 00:41:25.700 a bit of thinking outside the box 00:41:25.700 --> 00:41:29.985 because apparently the pain was because his spine was degenerated 00:41:29.985 --> 00:41:31.807 and was very weak. 00:41:31.807 --> 00:41:33.579 So what he did was, 00:41:33.579 --> 00:41:36.598 to compensate the weakness in his spine 00:41:36.598 --> 00:41:40.242 by learning how to develop the muscles either side of his spine. 00:41:40.242 --> 00:41:43.330 Starting off just by touching his back, 00:41:43.330 --> 00:41:47.284 with his fingers, the muscles on either side of the spine 00:41:47.284 --> 00:41:48.989 to become aware of them 00:41:48.989 --> 00:41:52.605 There is so much of our body we are not aware of at all. 00:41:52.605 --> 00:41:55.436 Because we don't need to be. 00:41:55.436 --> 00:41:59.639 And by keeping on stroking those muscles either side of the spine 00:41:59.639 --> 00:42:02.537 soon he became aware of the 00:42:02.537 --> 00:42:04.800 very existence of those muscles. 00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:07.598 In neurology you are making those connections 00:42:07.598 --> 00:42:08.812 in the brain. 00:42:08.812 --> 00:42:11.420 So you can feel those muscles. 00:42:11.420 --> 00:42:14.140 And then next thing with a bit of trial and error 00:42:14.140 --> 00:42:16.504 once he was aware of those muscles 00:42:16.504 --> 00:42:17.770 even without touching them 00:42:17.770 --> 00:42:20.257 he could learn how to stretch them 00:42:20.257 --> 00:42:23.021 trial and error the awareness could see 00:42:23.021 --> 00:42:26.152 how they stretch and how they contract. 00:42:26.152 --> 00:42:28.159 Once he could do that, 00:42:28.159 --> 00:42:30.868 next stage he could exercise those muscles 00:42:30.868 --> 00:42:35.127 just like you exercise your arms or exercise your legs through running. 00:42:35.127 --> 00:42:36.950 By working those muscles he 00:42:36.950 --> 00:42:38.715 exercised them and of course 00:42:38.715 --> 00:42:40.199 every time they exercise 00:42:40.199 --> 00:42:42.631 they got stronger and stronger and stronger 00:42:42.631 --> 00:42:44.302 until they became so strong 00:42:44.302 --> 00:42:47.005 much stronger than my equivalent muscles 00:42:47.005 --> 00:42:49.308 because I don't need them I've got a good back 00:42:49.308 --> 00:42:51.005 His muscles became so strong 00:42:51.005 --> 00:42:53.783 they compensated for the weakness in his spine and 00:42:53.783 --> 00:42:56.376 now he can meditate without any problem. 00:42:56.376 --> 00:43:00.732 Brilliant little way of finding another way 00:43:00.732 --> 00:43:03.587 to overcome things like pain. 00:43:03.587 --> 00:43:06.631 Use some thinking outside the box 00:43:06.631 --> 00:43:09.032 use some different methods. 00:43:09.032 --> 00:43:11.807 And a lot of times he was just using some mindfulness 00:43:11.807 --> 00:43:13.779 which not many people have. 00:43:13.779 --> 00:43:15.737 If you do have chronic headaches, 00:43:15.737 --> 00:43:16.867 why? Be aware. 00:43:16.867 --> 00:43:19.577 Sometimes all the awareness can do 00:43:19.577 --> 00:43:21.699 you can see sometimes a chronic headache 00:43:21.699 --> 00:43:23.911 gets a tiny bit less. 00:43:23.911 --> 00:43:26.645 Why? 00:43:26.645 --> 00:43:28.939 Mindfulness is always something which 00:43:28.939 --> 00:43:30.778 gives you feedback. 00:43:30.778 --> 00:43:34.135 You can see, things change, 00:43:34.135 --> 00:43:36.106 the pain is not always the same, 00:43:36.106 --> 00:43:37.643 It's chronic, it's always there 00:43:37.643 --> 00:43:39.954 but it gets worse, it gets better. 00:43:39.954 --> 00:43:42.056 Finding the causes, 00:43:42.056 --> 00:43:44.409 And if you can find the causes, 00:43:44.409 --> 00:43:46.872 what makes it less painful 00:43:46.872 --> 00:43:49.896 then you have some control over the pain. 00:43:49.896 --> 00:43:51.456 You know what makes it worse, 00:43:51.456 --> 00:43:53.225 what makes it better, 00:43:53.225 --> 00:43:55.385 and you can keep adding that better 00:43:55.385 --> 00:43:56.542 better better 00:43:56.542 --> 00:43:58.432 until a lot of times the pain gets 00:43:58.432 --> 00:44:00.290 very very easy to bear. 00:44:00.290 --> 00:44:02.636 One of those things which you will notice 00:44:02.636 --> 00:44:03.893 always makes it better is 00:44:03.893 --> 00:44:06.138 the kindness, the softness. 00:44:06.138 --> 00:44:07.441 Not the fear, 00:44:07.441 --> 00:44:09.269 The fear makes it worse. 00:44:09.269 --> 00:44:11.360 Fear takes an ordinary pain 00:44:11.360 --> 00:44:13.016 and makes it into a huge pain. 00:44:13.016 --> 00:44:16.045 Which is one of the reasons the pain gets worse at night. 00:44:16.045 --> 00:44:17.917 Fear. 00:44:17.917 --> 00:44:22.460 Or it gets worse when you go and see the doctor. 00:44:22.460 --> 00:44:24.818 So sometimes that fear 00:44:24.818 --> 00:44:26.887 once you understand it 00:44:26.887 --> 00:44:29.446 can be overcome with kindness 00:44:29.446 --> 00:44:31.515 with a bit of laughter as well. 00:44:31.515 --> 00:44:34.079 And that means you can have some control 00:44:34.079 --> 00:44:35.826 over the pain in your life. 00:44:35.826 --> 00:44:37.466 And of course it just doesn't work 00:44:37.466 --> 00:44:38.728 with just physical pain 00:44:38.728 --> 00:44:41.379 it also works with emotional pain as well. 00:44:41.379 --> 00:44:43.344 I don't know what it is but sometimes 00:44:43.344 --> 00:44:44.682 even doing the retreats 00:44:44.682 --> 00:44:46.059 sometimes people say 00:44:46.059 --> 00:44:48.768 they are sitting there hour after hour meditating 00:44:48.768 --> 00:44:50.326 their knees started to hurt 00:44:50.326 --> 00:44:52.806 what did they do to overcome the pain in their knee 00:44:52.806 --> 00:44:54.337 they could move, that's one way 00:44:54.337 --> 00:44:55.654 the other way they said; 00:44:55.654 --> 00:44:58.165 they start to love their knee 00:44:58.165 --> 00:45:02.034 "Ah, knees, I love you" 00:45:02.034 --> 00:45:04.398 and the pain vanished! 00:45:04.398 --> 00:45:06.492 Just the same as that story I told you 00:45:06.492 --> 00:45:08.957 playing soccer in the streets of London as a kid 00:45:08.957 --> 00:45:11.940 falling over, going for a tackle and 00:45:11.940 --> 00:45:16.376 falling over and scrapping the skin off my knee which really hurt, it stung, 00:45:16.376 --> 00:45:20.731 and my mother would just crouch down and kiss it better 00:45:20.731 --> 00:45:23.748 Just her kindness would take the pain away. 00:45:23.748 --> 00:45:25.822 Every time that happened. 00:45:25.822 --> 00:45:27.799 The kindness of a mother 00:45:27.799 --> 00:45:29.607 I had my experiences, 00:45:29.607 --> 00:45:31.220 would always take pain away. 00:45:31.220 --> 00:45:32.854 Which is one of the reasons why 00:45:32.854 --> 00:45:34.881 she would come and visit you in hospital 00:45:34.881 --> 00:45:38.617 straightway much of the pain would vanish. 00:45:38.617 --> 00:45:40.697 If you have someone you love very much 00:45:40.697 --> 00:45:43.128 and they love you and you are very sick in hospital 00:45:43.128 --> 00:45:45.330 whether it's emotional pain or physical pain 00:45:45.330 --> 00:45:48.059 just the presence of someone who is kind and loving 00:45:48.059 --> 00:45:50.544 takes a huge amount of pain away! 00:45:51.614 --> 00:45:54.817 And if there's no one else who can do it for you 00:45:54.817 --> 00:45:57.171 there is always yourself. 00:45:57.171 --> 00:45:59.842 Because I live a lot of time in solitude 00:45:59.842 --> 00:46:00.866 because I'm a monk 00:46:00.866 --> 00:46:02.966 there's no one else who can visit me when I'm sick, 00:46:02.966 --> 00:46:04.911 I can always visit myself. 00:46:04.911 --> 00:46:08.179 And be kind to myself. 00:46:08.179 --> 00:46:10.369 When I have that kindness towards myself 00:46:10.369 --> 00:46:14.170 much of the aches and pains of life can vanish very easily. 00:46:14.170 --> 00:46:16.756 Physical pains and even emotional pains 00:46:16.756 --> 00:46:20.220 "Ah I don't want to do this, I'm tired. why do I have to do this?" 00:46:20.220 --> 00:46:25.423 That type of negativity is very easy to overcome with a bit of kindness. 00:46:25.423 --> 00:46:27.785 Opening the door of your heart 00:46:27.785 --> 00:46:30.402 to the situation in which yo're in. 00:46:30.402 --> 00:46:32.230 Not being negative, 00:46:32.230 --> 00:46:34.680 not trying to get rid of things 00:46:34.680 --> 00:46:37.125 but embracing life. 00:46:37.125 --> 00:46:38.810 Embracing the difficulties, 00:46:38.810 --> 00:46:40.682 doing things you don't like 00:46:40.682 --> 00:46:43.297 the heat, the cold, the tiredness 00:46:43.297 --> 00:46:44.676 the headaches, tummy aches, 00:46:44.676 --> 00:46:47.102 whatever it is you are experiencing in life. 00:46:47.102 --> 00:46:49.853 How about instead of trying to get rid of it all the time 00:46:49.853 --> 00:46:52.391 welcome it. 00:46:52.391 --> 00:46:54.645 Like the anger eating demon 00:46:54.645 --> 00:46:59.321 be compassionate and then you will find 00:46:59.321 --> 00:47:03.656 most of the pain of life would disappear. 00:47:03.656 --> 00:47:06.140 Especially the chronic pains. 00:47:06.140 --> 00:47:09.206 The pains you think are sometimes unendurable. 00:47:09.206 --> 00:47:12.829 They can be endured very easily 00:47:12.829 --> 00:47:17.740 with kindness, being in this moment, lack of fear. 00:47:17.740 --> 00:47:21.196 Just simple teachings which you can learn here 00:47:21.196 --> 00:47:23.673 which is one of the reasons why 00:47:23.673 --> 00:47:26.950 in pain clinics they teach such things like meditation. 00:47:26.950 --> 00:47:30.169 They do teach such things like mindfulness and kindness 00:47:30.169 --> 00:47:32.728 because it actually does work. 00:47:32.728 --> 00:47:37.464 It takes away some of the worst pains of life. 00:47:37.464 --> 00:47:40.876 So you can be happy and free. 00:47:40.876 --> 00:47:44.086 So that was a little talk because someone 00:47:44.086 --> 00:47:47.790 asked me "Can you please, (they have someone with chronic pain) 00:47:47.790 --> 00:47:51.932 "Can you please tell me how to deal with chronic pain" 00:47:51.932 --> 00:47:54.522 so that these teachings you have here 00:47:54.522 --> 00:47:56.631 can be useful to all types of people 00:47:56.631 --> 00:47:58.618 maybe you haven't got chronic pain 00:47:58.618 --> 00:48:01.381 but if I carry on talking much longer maybe you will 00:48:01.381 --> 00:48:03.073 (laughter from the audience) 00:48:03.073 --> 00:48:06.136 so maybe this is a good time to stop. Thank you for listening. 00:48:06.136 --> 00:48:09.449 Audience: Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu! 00:48:09.449 --> 00:48:13.577 Very good! So some comments or questions about 00:48:13.577 --> 00:48:16.593 learning how to deal with the painful stuff of life. 00:48:19.286 --> 00:48:20.963 Here we go 00:48:20.963 --> 00:48:22.928 This is from overseas 00:48:22.928 --> 00:48:27.876 First of all see what countries we have today 00:48:27.876 --> 00:48:31.881 We have USA and Toronto 00:48:31.881 --> 00:48:34.907 First of all from the USA 00:48:34.907 --> 00:48:39.643 Is there a way to distinguish fear from being alert to potential risks 00:48:39.643 --> 00:48:43.784 or is this just a subtle from of trying to predict an uncertain future? 00:48:43.784 --> 00:48:46.882 Again obviously if there's a bushfire 00:48:46.882 --> 00:48:49.650 coming your way, you have to run. 00:48:49.650 --> 00:48:52.169 If there's a tiger running towards you 00:48:52.169 --> 00:48:56.674 and you are not a monk you obviously have to run in the opposite direction. 00:48:56.674 --> 00:48:59.533 Some of these are obvious fears 00:48:59.533 --> 00:49:02.682 but sometimes we have too much fear. 00:49:02.682 --> 00:49:05.717 And sometimes, I think most of the times 00:49:05.717 --> 00:49:14.115 we are afraid of things which don't really provide a risky future for us 00:49:14.115 --> 00:49:15.717 we're just afraid of things 00:49:15.717 --> 00:49:18.925 which probably never will happen at all. 00:49:18.925 --> 00:49:21.165 Sometimes you can understand 00:49:21.165 --> 00:49:23.929 there are some things which you should be afraid of: 00:49:23.929 --> 00:49:26.455 one of the biggest things you should be afraid of 00:49:26.455 --> 00:49:28.443 is fear itself! 00:49:28.443 --> 00:49:32.076 In other words it's the fear which causes all the problems of life 00:49:32.076 --> 00:49:34.408 most of the problems of life. 00:49:34.408 --> 00:49:37.904 Still remember a little book which I read 00:49:37.904 --> 00:49:40.236 by Edgar Allan Poe 00:49:40.236 --> 00:49:42.117 He wrote these horror stories 00:49:42.117 --> 00:49:43.908 which is why I like to read them. 00:49:43.908 --> 00:49:45.045 As a young man 00:49:45.045 --> 00:49:46.791 you always like to read weird stuff 00:49:46.791 --> 00:49:49.270 especially because I wasn't supposed to. 00:49:49.270 --> 00:49:53.600 In one of those books was The Masque of the Red Death 00:49:53.600 --> 00:50:00.413 and it was based on the plagues which ravaged Europe 100s of years ago 00:50:00.413 --> 00:50:07.632 And in this little book he was envisaging these demons 00:50:07.632 --> 00:50:13.826 these demons who were the cause of these plagues. 00:50:13.826 --> 00:50:16.206 And one day these demons, 00:50:16.206 --> 00:50:19.248 they met together in a forest somewhere in Europe 00:50:19.248 --> 00:50:22.406 and the demon from Paris said 00:50:22.406 --> 00:50:25.792 'yeah I killed now a thousand people' 00:50:25.792 --> 00:50:28.989 And the one from Berlin said 'I killed fifteen hundred' 00:50:28.989 --> 00:50:32.436 The one from London 'I killed two thousand' 00:50:32.436 --> 00:50:34.519 And the one from Brussels said 00:50:34.519 --> 00:50:42.054 'I killed only two hundred and fear killed two thousand' 00:50:42.054 --> 00:50:46.020 I remember reading that great insight of this author 00:50:46.020 --> 00:50:48.645 The plague kills only a small number, 00:50:48.645 --> 00:50:53.458 the fear kills more people than that. 00:50:53.458 --> 00:50:59.965 Even I remember quoting that during the SARS crisis 00:50:59.965 --> 00:51:03.982 or during the bird flu crisis 00:51:03.982 --> 00:51:09.631 because many people sitting amongst you have come from Hong Kong 00:51:09.631 --> 00:51:12.475 (laughter) 00:51:12.475 --> 00:51:15.946 They are sitting right in here. 00:51:15.946 --> 00:51:19.949 And maybe they have bird flu! (laughter) 00:51:19.949 --> 00:51:23.885 And they are going to carry it into the Buddhist community 00:51:23.885 --> 00:51:26.966 and start the epidemic in Perth! 00:51:26.966 --> 00:51:29.305 Oh my goodness! 00:51:29.305 --> 00:51:34.162 Do you feel a bit hot this evening? (laughter) 00:51:34.162 --> 00:51:39.591 You can see fear kills more people than the disease itself. 00:51:39.591 --> 00:51:42.617 And that's actually very true. 00:51:42.617 --> 00:51:46.139 If you don't think that fear can kill 00:51:46.139 --> 00:51:50.164 there is that story which I think I told a few weeks ago 00:51:50.164 --> 00:51:55.173 of a guy in jail in England over 100 years ago 00:51:55.173 --> 00:51:58.771 he was about to be executed by hanging 00:51:58.771 --> 00:52:01.771 And some psychologists, some scientists 00:52:01.771 --> 00:52:05.520 had permission to do this really gross experiment on him. 00:52:05.520 --> 00:52:09.198 They went to his cell the night before his execution 00:52:09.198 --> 00:52:11.703 and told him the law had been changed 00:52:11.703 --> 00:52:14.407 he still had to die tomorrow morning 00:52:14.407 --> 00:52:16.128 but this time not by hanging 00:52:16.128 --> 00:52:18.621 he would have his throat cut. 00:52:18.621 --> 00:52:22.266 And they let this poor man think about that all night. 00:52:22.266 --> 00:52:25.187 In the morning at dawn as happens with executions 00:52:25.187 --> 00:52:27.074 they came for him 00:52:27.074 --> 00:52:29.368 tied his hands securely behind his back 00:52:29.368 --> 00:52:31.421 put a blindfold over his eyes 00:52:31.421 --> 00:52:33.938 led him to the place of execution 00:52:33.938 --> 00:52:38.272 A priest gave him his last rites or whatever they did for him 00:52:38.272 --> 00:52:41.925 and then they took a knife and they cut his throat 00:52:41.925 --> 00:52:44.170 and he fell down and died. 00:52:44.170 --> 00:52:45.868 That's what he thought. 00:52:45.868 --> 00:52:48.485 He had his eyes blindfolded. 00:52:48.485 --> 00:52:49.934 What had really happened 00:52:49.934 --> 00:52:53.440 it was just the scientists and the prison governor 00:52:53.440 --> 00:52:55.380 or whoever it was, the superintendent 00:52:55.380 --> 00:52:58.384 took him to the wash rooms 00:52:58.384 --> 00:53:02.016 and one of them pretended to be the priest 00:53:02.016 --> 00:53:05.312 And when they finished reading out the sentence 00:53:05.312 --> 00:53:08.067 they took a knife which was so blunt 00:53:08.067 --> 00:53:10.754 you couldn't even cut butter with it 00:53:10.754 --> 00:53:13.881 and they drew it across his throat. 00:53:13.881 --> 00:53:17.997 He felt the steel on his throat. 00:53:17.997 --> 00:53:20.458 At the same time the other scientist 00:53:20.458 --> 00:53:23.863 just turned on a tap in the wash room, 00:53:23.863 --> 00:53:26.045 and he heard liquid coming out 00:53:26.045 --> 00:53:28.624 and he felt the steel on his throat 00:53:28.624 --> 00:53:30.633 and he fell down and died 00:53:30.633 --> 00:53:32.541 not a scratch on him. 00:53:32.541 --> 00:53:35.353 A very famous psychology experiment. 00:53:35.353 --> 00:53:39.552 If you believe you are going to die you do die. 00:53:39.552 --> 00:53:42.494 That is the power of belief. 00:53:42.494 --> 00:53:45.467 That is the power of fear. 00:53:45.467 --> 00:53:48.691 That Edgar Allan Poe is very wise 00:53:48.691 --> 00:53:51.589 fear kills as many people 00:53:51.589 --> 00:53:53.805 probably more than disease itself. 00:53:54.935 --> 00:53:56.653 So that is why 00:53:56.653 --> 00:54:00.099 fear is one of the biggest risks. 00:54:02.852 --> 00:54:06.063 Before when I was training to be a school teacher 00:54:06.063 --> 00:54:08.601 we were teaching science 00:54:08.601 --> 00:54:11.288 and it was only a matter of time before some kid 00:54:11.288 --> 00:54:13.238 playing in the lab would pour 00:54:13.238 --> 00:54:15.697 concentrated acid over himself 00:54:15.697 --> 00:54:18.320 or they put in some metal objects 00:54:18.320 --> 00:54:21.257 into the plugs and electrocute themselves 00:54:21.257 --> 00:54:23.934 and we were never taught first-aid 00:54:23.934 --> 00:54:27.981 So we insisted to get a GP in to teach us first-aid. 00:54:27.981 --> 00:54:31.406 And they got this old GP before he was about to retire 00:54:31.406 --> 00:54:33.184 really really wise old man 00:54:33.184 --> 00:54:35.758 who just cut to the chase. 00:54:35.758 --> 00:54:37.519 He said 'look if ever you see 00:54:37.519 --> 00:54:39.484 any accident in this school or anyone 00:54:39.484 --> 00:54:43.138 someone with their leg almost cut off, blood everywhere 00:54:43.138 --> 00:54:45.155 lie to them. 00:54:45.155 --> 00:54:48.174 Say ''that's nothing you will be OK''. 00:54:48.174 --> 00:54:52.120 Even if you think they are going to die, lie. 00:54:52.120 --> 00:54:56.969 He said because the shock kills more people than the injury itself. 00:54:56.969 --> 00:54:59.799 And if you tell them "Oh that looks terrible!" 00:54:59.799 --> 00:55:03.247 you could kill them with words like that. 00:55:03.247 --> 00:55:06.485 I don't know whether GPs and doctors here would agree with that. 00:55:06.485 --> 00:55:08.507 But I always remember that piece of advice 00:55:08.507 --> 00:55:10.376 That always makes a lot of sense to me. 00:55:10.376 --> 00:55:13.885 It's the fear which causes that reaction 00:55:13.885 --> 00:55:16.596 which could just tip you over the edge into death. 00:55:16.596 --> 00:55:18.792 So always lie to a person 00:55:18.792 --> 00:55:24.631 to say "ah it's not that bad, you will be OK, you've got two legs, you can miss one! 00:55:24.631 --> 00:55:26.758 (laughter) 00:55:26.758 --> 00:55:30.196 Don't go that far... I think you got the point. 00:55:30.196 --> 00:55:32.709 So I think there is too much fear around. 00:55:32.709 --> 00:55:35.365 So much fear that it kills us. 00:55:35.365 --> 00:55:37.043 What we should really fear.. 00:55:37.043 --> 00:55:39.571 which is only a small amount of stuff 00:55:39.571 --> 00:55:42.324 that gets overwhelmed. 00:55:42.324 --> 00:55:44.054 Anyway the next question 00:55:44.054 --> 00:55:48.006 "People who are depressed, don't accept it 00:55:48.006 --> 00:55:50.635 Also there is a social stigma attached to it, 00:55:50.635 --> 00:55:52.715 it gets classified as a mental illness 00:55:52.715 --> 00:55:55.339 depression is something I have struggled with off and on. 00:55:55.339 --> 00:55:59.239 I started listening to Dhamma Talks (that's Buddhist Talks) to fix my brain 00:55:59.239 --> 00:56:02.668 but the first step is to realise and accept that someone is depressed". 00:56:02.668 --> 00:56:05.118 How can I help someone who I know is depressed, 00:56:05.118 --> 00:56:08.307 how do I tell her that she is?" 00:56:08.307 --> 00:56:12.436 Now first of all, they say it gets 00:56:12.436 --> 00:56:15.608 sigmatized and classified as a mental illness 00:56:15.608 --> 00:56:17.627 and people who are mentally ill 00:56:17.627 --> 00:56:20.402 they think they are same as being psychotic, 00:56:20.402 --> 00:56:27.456 it's a one-size-fits-all type of designation. 00:56:27.456 --> 00:56:31.217 And there is no person who is depressed. 00:56:31.217 --> 00:56:34.488 There are people who suffer bouts of depression. 00:56:34.488 --> 00:56:36.492 But they are not a depressed person. 00:56:36.492 --> 00:56:38.029 As I keep on saying 00:56:38.029 --> 00:56:40.559 There is no person who is mentally ill 00:56:40.559 --> 00:56:43.772 There's people who have episodes of mental illness. 00:56:43.772 --> 00:56:48.145 The old story, there is no prisoners, sorry, there are no criminals, 00:56:48.145 --> 00:56:50.499 there are people who do crimes. 00:56:50.499 --> 00:56:52.979 There is no schizophrenics, 00:56:52.979 --> 00:56:57.387 it's a person who suffers episodes of schizophrenia. 00:56:57.387 --> 00:56:59.928 Straight away when you change the language 00:56:59.928 --> 00:57:02.065 you avoid the stigmatization. 00:57:02.065 --> 00:57:04.921 If you say someone is psychotic it means that's all they are 00:57:04.921 --> 00:57:06.003 all the time. 00:57:06.003 --> 00:57:08.005 If you say someone is a criminal 00:57:08.005 --> 00:57:09.749 you think that's all they are 00:57:09.749 --> 00:57:11.386 there is nothing to them except 00:57:11.386 --> 00:57:13.110 the crime which defines their life 00:57:13.110 --> 00:57:14.813 as far as yo're concerned. 00:57:14.813 --> 00:57:17.553 So there's no such thing as a person who is mentally ill, 00:57:17.553 --> 00:57:19.095 it is a person who suffers 00:57:19.095 --> 00:57:21.755 bouts of mental illness. 00:57:21.755 --> 00:57:23.135 So as soon as you say 00:57:23.142 --> 00:57:26.051 you are a person... you are much bigger than that depression. 00:57:26.051 --> 00:57:27.592 You are not a depressed person 00:57:27.592 --> 00:57:29.454 you are a person who happens right at the moment 00:57:29.454 --> 00:57:32.071 be experiencing depression. 00:57:32.071 --> 00:57:34.208 So that's where you can take away 00:57:34.208 --> 00:57:35.598 lot of the social stigma. 00:57:35.598 --> 00:57:36.720 It's a temporary thing. 00:57:36.720 --> 00:57:38.345 it's impermanent; 00:57:38.345 --> 00:57:40.569 you are not always like that. 00:57:40.569 --> 00:57:44.094 And as mentioned that great story, that great anecdote, 00:57:44.094 --> 00:57:48.077 where the Professor of Schizophrenia in Singapore, some years ago 00:57:48.077 --> 00:57:51.203 whom I met and I asked him "how does he treat Schizophrenia" 00:57:51.203 --> 00:57:55.602 He said "just as you've been teaching me I do not treat Schizophrenia" 00:57:55.602 --> 00:57:58.943 in a mental health institute in Singapore. 00:57:58.943 --> 00:58:03.113 He said I treat the other part of the patient, which is not schizophrenic. 00:58:03.113 --> 00:58:06.093 And I really really admire that guy! 00:58:06.093 --> 00:58:08.423 You really understood, you've got it 00:58:08.423 --> 00:58:10.679 you don't just treat depression 00:58:10.679 --> 00:58:15.291 you treat the other part of the person which is not depressed. 00:58:15.291 --> 00:58:18.269 There is more to them than depression. 00:58:18.269 --> 00:58:20.541 You do get your bad days and good days 00:58:20.541 --> 00:58:22.737 What about treating the other good days. 00:58:22.737 --> 00:58:25.096 When you encourage that 00:58:25.096 --> 00:58:28.739 it grows and grows, it squashes out the depression. 00:58:28.739 --> 00:58:33.106 So realizing and accepting someone is depressed 00:58:33.106 --> 00:58:35.257 yeah you go through bouts of depression 00:58:35.257 --> 00:58:38.016 but never think you are a depressed person. 00:58:38.016 --> 00:58:40.134 And always remember the other times 00:58:40.134 --> 00:58:41.694 when you are not depressed. 00:58:41.694 --> 00:58:44.537 Don't just focus on the two bad bricks in the wall, 00:58:44.537 --> 00:58:47.502 the other 998 bricks and that's incredibly important. 00:58:47.502 --> 00:58:50.458 And the other thing about depression, it's one of those 00:58:50.458 --> 00:58:53.695 classic anger eating monsters I was talking about 00:58:53.695 --> 00:58:55.565 "get out of here, you don't belong" 00:58:55.565 --> 00:58:57.060 that feeds the depression. 00:58:57.060 --> 00:59:03.527 Makes it worse, you get deeper into that pit of darkness 00:59:03.527 --> 00:59:05.177 which is one of the reasons 00:59:05.177 --> 00:59:07.058 when you don't feed the monster, 00:59:07.058 --> 00:59:09.101 You don't say 'get out of here' 00:59:09.101 --> 00:59:12.146 But 'Welcome depression. Thank you for visiting me.' 00:59:12.146 --> 00:59:14.805 that actually overcomes it. 00:59:14.805 --> 00:59:16.818 It stops feeding it 00:59:16.818 --> 00:59:19.965 and it just fades away. 00:59:19.965 --> 00:59:23.028 Don't get depressed about being depressed. 00:59:23.028 --> 00:59:25.214 It's a hard thing to do but you can 00:59:25.214 --> 00:59:27.465 change attitudes, it's not that hard to do 00:59:27.465 --> 00:59:29.703 Sorry, I said it's hard to do and then not hard to do. 00:59:29.703 --> 00:59:31.215 It can be done. 00:59:31.215 --> 00:59:33.215 You see people who do it. 00:59:33.215 --> 00:59:36.615 And that's one of the great antidotes to depression 00:59:36.615 --> 00:59:42.542 Welcome depression Enjoy your depression 00:59:42.542 --> 00:59:45.686 Because once you start enjoying it, it vanishes. 00:59:45.686 --> 00:59:48.722 You are using a very very smart sneaky technique 00:59:48.722 --> 00:59:51.092 to get around the back of depression 00:59:51.092 --> 00:59:52.932 and overcome it. 00:59:52.932 --> 00:59:55.232 So that's one way you can do that. 00:59:55.232 --> 01:00:00.166 But it is also important to accept that you are feeling bad, 01:00:00.166 --> 01:00:02.251 you are feeling depressed. 01:00:02.251 --> 01:00:05.532 Truth is important but more than even truth 01:00:05.532 --> 01:00:07.313 it's actually seeing a bigger picture 01:00:07.313 --> 01:00:08.747 It's only bouts of depression 01:00:08.747 --> 01:00:10.796 but not a depressed person. 01:00:10.796 --> 01:00:13.766 You are a person, that has moments of depression. 01:00:13.766 --> 01:00:17.526 That is more accurate to the truth. 01:00:17.526 --> 01:00:21.780 Okay, any other questions from the audience here? 01:00:24.354 --> 01:00:26.553 Yes, over there. 01:00:30.163 --> 01:00:35.778 Question: I was thinking some people when they are depressed 01:00:35.778 --> 01:00:41.400 usually they feel lethargic, they don't do things 01:00:41.400 --> 01:00:43.724 and things like that, but 01:00:43.724 --> 01:00:55.310 sometimes people could be just lazy and not do things 01:00:55.310 --> 01:00:58.412 so how a depressed person 01:00:58.412 --> 01:01:02.610 I mean people who frequently get depressed 01:01:02.610 --> 01:01:06.356 how that person can identify 01:01:06.356 --> 01:01:11.856 if he or she is depressed or just lazy? 01:01:11.856 --> 01:01:14.006 (Ajahn laughs) 01:01:14.006 --> 01:01:18.664 What's the difference between being depressed and being lazy? Not much 01:01:18.664 --> 01:01:21.257 (laughter) 01:01:22.919 --> 01:01:25.756 But one good way of overcoming depression 01:01:25.756 --> 01:01:30.104 is that thing I was mentioning earlier on to the people at the retreat 01:01:30.104 --> 01:01:34.694 seasonal affective disorder (SAD). 01:01:34.694 --> 01:01:37.067 And coming in to Nollamara this afternoon 01:01:37.067 --> 01:01:39.215 it was raining, it was dark 01:01:39.215 --> 01:01:44.264 it just reminded me so much of London in December, January, February. 01:01:44.264 --> 01:01:48.751 which is when you get Seasonal Affective Disorders (SAD). 01:01:48.751 --> 01:01:52.265 People get depressed in London at that time of the year. 01:01:52.265 --> 01:01:54.214 And no wonder why, 01:01:54.214 --> 01:01:56.063 because there's no life there 01:01:56.063 --> 01:01:58.820 everything is grey and dull. 01:01:58.820 --> 01:02:00.829 And the old joke 01:02:00.829 --> 01:02:03.101 People in London they wear grey clothes, 01:02:03.101 --> 01:02:05.122 grey suits, grey hats 01:02:05.122 --> 01:02:06.669 all the walls are grey 01:02:06.669 --> 01:02:09.477 there is no colour in the sky, it's all grey, 01:02:09.477 --> 01:02:11.727 the rain is grey, drizzle, 01:02:11.727 --> 01:02:14.726 And everything is so grey 01:02:14.726 --> 01:02:17.765 even the tea the English drink. 01:02:17.765 --> 01:02:20.553 Earl Grey Tea (laughter) 01:02:20.553 --> 01:02:24.543 No wonder they get depressed. 01:02:24.543 --> 01:02:26.846 And at that time of the year 01:02:26.846 --> 01:02:29.658 the light is so dull as well because 01:02:29.658 --> 01:02:31.652 it is the Northern Hemisphere 01:02:31.652 --> 01:02:33.554 the days are so short. 01:02:33.554 --> 01:02:35.810 And the simple way of overcoming 01:02:35.810 --> 01:02:40.171 that type of depression called SAD seasonal affective disorder 01:02:40.171 --> 01:02:43.220 is to take those people into a brightly lit room. 01:02:43.220 --> 01:02:45.233 You just turn the lights up 01:02:45.233 --> 01:02:50.544 And you make them wear Hawaiian Dresses, really bright 01:02:50.544 --> 01:02:51.801 over the top 01:02:51.801 --> 01:02:55.725 and you play them very loud bright music. 01:02:55.725 --> 01:02:58.481 And it's so stimulating 01:02:58.481 --> 01:03:02.298 that the seasonal affective disorder disappears. 01:03:02.298 --> 01:03:04.182 Everyone is happy. 01:03:04.182 --> 01:03:07.588 Simple, stimulating the senses when you are depressed. 01:03:07.588 --> 01:03:11.088 So if someone is in bed and they are depressed 01:03:11.088 --> 01:03:13.174 play some Jimmy Hendricks 01:03:13.174 --> 01:03:17.340 Play them something which is very loud and very bright 01:03:17.340 --> 01:03:18.734 turn up the lights and 01:03:18.734 --> 01:03:20.778 go in there, into their room, 01:03:20.778 --> 01:03:24.698 with this brightly coloured skirt or something. 01:03:24.698 --> 01:03:29.885 Just that amount of encouragement 01:03:29.885 --> 01:03:31.815 that amount of stimulation 01:03:31.815 --> 01:03:35.638 actually overcomes a lot of depression. 01:03:35.638 --> 01:03:38.093 That is one of the reasons why on a retreat 01:03:38.093 --> 01:03:40.153 people come on these retreats, 01:03:40.153 --> 01:03:41.799 they have to get up really early in the morning 01:03:41.799 --> 01:03:44.969 and it's very depressing when they first get up in the morning 01:03:44.969 --> 01:03:47.284 which is why I have to entertain them 01:03:47.284 --> 01:03:49.476 when I keep on doing these three great Sadhus 01:03:49.476 --> 01:03:52.117 Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu! 01:03:52.117 --> 01:03:55.528 which means no one gets depressed in the morning. 01:03:55.528 --> 01:04:00.195 You can see how you can liven people up 01:04:00.195 --> 01:04:02.157 When you are depressed that's 01:04:02.157 --> 01:04:04.470 probably what you need to do. 01:04:04.470 --> 01:04:06.668 If you've got a friend who is depressed, 01:04:06.668 --> 01:04:08.518 who can't get up in the morning, 01:04:08.518 --> 01:04:10.498 just hire a band 01:04:10.498 --> 01:04:12.790 get a few clowns from the circus to come in 01:04:12.790 --> 01:04:15.934 and do the juggling acts by their bedside 01:04:15.934 --> 01:04:18.444 Just make them laugh, stimulate them 01:04:18.444 --> 01:04:22.291 and soon they wake up. 01:04:23.852 --> 01:04:26.687 Sometimes we can be so dull; 01:04:26.687 --> 01:04:31.252 and we just allow that dullness to get into our heads 01:04:31.252 --> 01:04:34.088 rather than putting energy and fun into your life. 01:04:34.088 --> 01:04:36.321 Like I try and do on these Friday Nights Talks. 01:04:36.321 --> 01:04:39.012 Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't, 01:04:39.012 --> 01:04:42.231 but you know that I do try. 01:04:42.231 --> 01:04:44.151 So there we go. 01:04:44.151 --> 01:04:46.549 That's why you can come to these talks 01:04:46.549 --> 01:04:48.345 and you never get depressed. 01:04:48.345 --> 01:04:50.211 except for today. 01:04:50.211 --> 01:04:52.245 Because today you get depressed; 01:04:52.245 --> 01:04:55.983 this is the last talk for another three months 01:04:55.983 --> 01:04:57.964 Oh...... 01:04:57.964 --> 01:04:59.635 he he he (Ajahn laughs) 01:04:59.635 --> 01:05:01.272 Okay, thank you all, 01:05:01.272 --> 01:05:03.089 and thank you for those questions. 01:05:03.089 --> 01:05:05.538 Now another question. Okay go on. 01:05:05.538 --> 01:05:08.260 Question: It is about Euthanasia 01:05:08.260 --> 01:05:11.737 Euthanasia is not the problem it's used all over the world. 01:05:11.737 --> 01:05:13.672 (from the audience) I understand that (laughter) 01:05:13.672 --> 01:05:15.327 (Ajahn) That's an old joke 01:05:15.327 --> 01:05:17.137 (from the audience) It is embracing and welcoming death. 01:05:17.137 --> 01:05:18.673 Ajahn: Yeah 01:05:18.673 --> 01:05:25.321 (audience) I heard this morning on the radio someone who is around 40 something years old 01:05:25.321 --> 01:05:29.461 imported the drugs .. and killed himself. 01:05:29.461 --> 01:05:35.771 (Ajahn).. Euthanasia ... as Buddhism is concerned that is your choice. 01:05:35.771 --> 01:05:39.926 You are the owner of your Kamma 01:05:39.926 --> 01:05:42.788 No one should make that choice for you 01:05:42.788 --> 01:05:44.321 So I make a big distinction between 01:05:44.321 --> 01:05:47.878 euthanasia where someone else administers that drug 01:05:47.878 --> 01:05:52.884 or injects you, which happens a lot in hospitals, 01:05:52.884 --> 01:05:56.245 or voluntary euthanasia. 01:05:56.245 --> 01:05:59.355 And voluntary euthanasia: what is your clear choice? 01:05:59.355 --> 01:06:05.565 But to be a clear choice, it has to be made sure that choice has no coercion at all 01:06:05.565 --> 01:06:09.349 you are not doing it because you are crazy or depressed or in a bad mood 01:06:09.349 --> 01:06:13.304 no coercion from family and friends. 01:06:13.304 --> 01:06:16.253 Has to be really a free choice. 01:06:16.253 --> 01:06:17.738 There is something in Buddhism 01:06:17.738 --> 01:06:20.457 that you are in control of your life, 01:06:20.457 --> 01:06:22.877 and your destiny. 01:06:22.877 --> 01:06:24.733 It is your Karma. 01:06:24.733 --> 01:06:27.024 I may not agree that's a wise thing to do, 01:06:27.024 --> 01:06:28.819 but it has to be your choice, 01:06:28.819 --> 01:06:31.260 not other people's choice. 01:06:31.260 --> 01:06:32.726 And many many times 01:06:32.726 --> 01:06:34.165 when you look at people, 01:06:34.165 --> 01:06:37.001 The time when I was really convinced 01:06:37.001 --> 01:06:41.475 that voluntary euthanasia would be a moral thing to do in some cases 01:06:41.475 --> 01:06:44.796 was when I went to the dementia ward to see my mother. 01:06:44.796 --> 01:06:49.627 My mother was fine, but I met a couple of people in the dementia ward, 01:06:49.627 --> 01:06:53.915 they were literally waking up every second. 01:06:53.915 --> 01:06:56.534 And they were in a place they could not recognize; 01:06:56.534 --> 01:06:59.843 with people they didn't know every second of their lives. 01:06:59.843 --> 01:07:01.991 Because they couldn't remember. 01:07:01.991 --> 01:07:04.499 And they were terrified. 01:07:04.499 --> 01:07:06.807 I have done this sometimes, 01:07:06.807 --> 01:07:09.306 I've woken up because I go traveling around overseas 01:07:09.306 --> 01:07:12.351 Wake up in a hotel or in somebody's house 01:07:12.351 --> 01:07:14.117 or in a temple somewhere 01:07:14.117 --> 01:07:17.083 When I first wake up: "where the hell am I?" 01:07:17.083 --> 01:07:19.164 Because I travel a lot. 01:07:19.164 --> 01:07:21.080 That is quite scary. 01:07:21.080 --> 01:07:22.657 Of course I've got my memory.. 01:07:22.657 --> 01:07:24.098 Öh yes I'm in Frankfurt today.. 01:07:24.098 --> 01:07:26.493 you remember pretty quickly so you are fine. 01:07:26.493 --> 01:07:28.361 But I know what that must be like 01:07:28.361 --> 01:07:29.527 every moment of your life 01:07:29.527 --> 01:07:33.044 you are waking up and you don't know where you are, or who you are with. 01:07:33.044 --> 01:07:35.614 No sense of safety at all. 01:07:35.614 --> 01:07:39.485 Total terror, continuously. 01:07:39.485 --> 01:07:43.565 When I saw two people having that symptom of total terror 01:07:43.565 --> 01:07:47.945 you wouldn't allow that even in Guantanamo Bay 01:07:47.945 --> 01:07:52.551 they let you go and rest for a while between being tortured or whatever. 01:07:52.551 --> 01:07:54.587 But here it was constant. 01:07:54.587 --> 01:08:00.335 That type of pain I wouldn't wish on anybody, that is really immoral. 01:08:00.335 --> 01:08:03.472 So sometimes, with some of those experiences, you think that 01:08:03.472 --> 01:08:06.475 if a person, they know that's where they are going to end up 01:08:06.475 --> 01:08:12.334 decides voluntary euthanasia, you cannot fault them at all. 01:08:12.334 --> 01:08:16.274 So I'm a supporter of that Bill, obviously with the safeguards. 01:08:16.274 --> 01:08:18.233 So it has to be voluntary 01:08:18.233 --> 01:08:20.149 with no coercion at all. 01:08:20.149 --> 01:08:22.202 But I'm a supporter of that. 01:08:22.202 --> 01:08:24.233 People have argued with me 01:08:24.233 --> 01:08:28.896 but I say it has to be a personal choice. 01:08:28.896 --> 01:08:30.675 Obviously if you are depressed 01:08:30.675 --> 01:08:33.526 you are not making a good choice. 01:08:33.526 --> 01:08:40.052 You are not really making a clear reasonable choice. 01:08:40.052 --> 01:08:42.072 But if there's no depression there, 01:08:42.072 --> 01:08:44.636 you are very clear about what you want to do 01:08:44.636 --> 01:08:46.684 and why you want to do it, 01:08:46.684 --> 01:08:49.064 I'd support that. 01:08:51.444 --> 01:08:54.802 Audience: Ajahn Brahm, can I please ask another question? 01:08:54.802 --> 01:08:56.966 Yeah, go on.. 01:08:56.966 --> 01:09:04.624 Sri Lankan Buddhist parents often scare their kids when they don't 01:09:04.624 --> 01:09:09.066 observe five precepts, they scare them by saying 01:09:09.066 --> 01:09:17.441 you know if you tell a lie you'll go to hell, things like that.. 01:09:17.441 --> 01:09:23.820 Did Buddha actually spoke about hell and heaven? 01:09:23.820 --> 01:09:27.186 Yes the Buddha did talk about hell or heaven 01:09:27.186 --> 01:09:32.429 but just telling one lie is not enough to have great consequences 01:09:32.429 --> 01:09:35.427 especially if you are a young kid. 01:09:35.427 --> 01:09:40.658 You've got to measure a whole life. 01:09:40.658 --> 01:09:43.314 As I keep on saying: to go to university 01:09:43.314 --> 01:09:45.895 you have to answer many many questions 01:09:45.895 --> 01:09:47.177 in many exams. 01:09:47.177 --> 01:09:49.803 If you get one question wrong 01:09:49.803 --> 01:09:52.611 when you do your university entrance examination 01:09:52.611 --> 01:09:55.891 that does not mean you don't go to university. 01:09:55.891 --> 01:09:57.882 Maybe a hundred questions, 01:09:57.882 --> 01:10:00.293 you do one wrong, 99 out of a 100, 01:10:00.293 --> 01:10:03.223 you would probably go to Harvard or somewhere. 01:10:03.223 --> 01:10:06.414 So one question wrong is not the problem, 01:10:06.414 --> 01:10:09.507 it's when the kid continually lies 01:10:09.507 --> 01:10:12.758 or when they continually take drugs, 01:10:12.758 --> 01:10:14.455 that's the problem. 01:10:14.455 --> 01:10:16.226 So just one or two mistakes 01:10:16.226 --> 01:10:18.791 when you put that in the context of their whole life 01:10:18.791 --> 01:10:20.787 is not that bad. 01:10:20.787 --> 01:10:23.634 So your kids they will experiment, they will make mistakes, 01:10:23.634 --> 01:10:26.824 they will do wrong things as their parents do. 01:10:26.824 --> 01:10:29.631 So please don't just scare the hell out of them by saying 01:10:29.631 --> 01:10:31.401 you are going to go to hell for that. 01:10:31.401 --> 01:10:34.042 That's just totally wrong. 01:10:34.042 --> 01:10:37.138 And also please don't rule your kids through fear. 01:10:37.138 --> 01:10:39.111 I mentioned that last week. 01:10:39.111 --> 01:10:40.721 Inspire them. 01:10:40.721 --> 01:10:43.965 Give them some confidence. 01:10:43.965 --> 01:10:48.151 And also to make sure that they are so confident 01:10:48.151 --> 01:10:53.341 that they can make their own decisions rather than following their peers. 01:10:53.341 --> 01:10:55.185 That's the problem with many people. 01:10:55.185 --> 01:10:57.939 I mentioned that last week, I'm reinforcing it this week. 01:10:57.939 --> 01:11:02.013 Because some families, they make decisions for their children 01:11:02.013 --> 01:11:04.808 basically forcing them to what they should do, 01:11:04.808 --> 01:11:06.542 when they leave their parents 01:11:06.542 --> 01:11:10.933 then they follow their peers; the strong people in their peer group. 01:11:10.933 --> 01:11:14.562 And those strong people in the peer group make them do stupid things. 01:11:14.562 --> 01:11:18.368 It goes from parental pressure to peer pressure. 01:11:18.368 --> 01:11:21.622 Rather than getting the kids strong enough to understand 01:11:21.622 --> 01:11:24.065 what's right and wrong for themselves, 01:11:24.065 --> 01:11:26.067 and strong enough to resist 01:11:26.067 --> 01:11:28.116 the other people in their age group who say 01:11:28.116 --> 01:11:30.107 "let's go to the nightclub and get drunk" 01:11:30.107 --> 01:11:31.567 "Let's do some binge drinking" 01:11:31.567 --> 01:11:33.529 "Let's do some methamphetamines" 01:11:33.529 --> 01:11:35.879 They are strong enough to say "no" 01:11:35.879 --> 01:11:38.914 Because the parents have given them that degree of independence 01:11:38.914 --> 01:11:40.672 to make choices. 01:11:40.672 --> 01:11:43.014 If you don't reinforce that 01:11:43.014 --> 01:11:45.221 You'll find yeah you tell your children 01:11:45.221 --> 01:11:47.659 to do what you tell them to do when they are at home 01:11:47.659 --> 01:11:49.779 and then they do what their peers 01:11:49.779 --> 01:11:52.265 tell them to do when they are out on the street. 01:11:52.265 --> 01:11:56.726 Some of those peers cannot be trusted. 01:11:56.726 --> 01:12:00.326 Audience: Ajahn Brahm, Buddhism sometimes really confuses me 01:12:00.326 --> 01:12:04.351 because you talk about hell and heaven 01:12:04.351 --> 01:12:11.796 and also in real life you can see in this world 01:12:11.796 --> 01:12:13.473 you can see hell and heaven 01:12:13.473 --> 01:12:14.552 (Ajahn: Indeed, yes) 01:12:14.552 --> 01:12:19.622 so it is confusing because 01:12:19.622 --> 01:12:22.426 you can get punished for your sins whatever 01:12:22.426 --> 01:12:26.970 in this real life as well 01:12:26.970 --> 01:12:32.093 and why do you need another hell? 01:12:32.093 --> 01:12:36.191 Ajahn: First of all, you don't get punished for your sins 01:12:36.191 --> 01:12:38.998 they say you get punished by your sins. 01:12:38.998 --> 01:12:42.716 Just doing a bad thing, really hurts you. 01:12:42.716 --> 01:12:46.630 So it's not that type of idea of punishment 01:12:46.630 --> 01:12:48.612 it's just doing stuff that really hurts, 01:12:48.612 --> 01:12:50.552 you feel really bad about it. 01:12:50.552 --> 01:12:52.829 But this is a hell and heaven in this life.. 01:12:52.829 --> 01:12:54.587 yeah you can actually see that 01:12:54.587 --> 01:12:57.447 But it is also another question 01:12:57.447 --> 01:13:00.726 totally about what happens after you die 01:13:00.726 --> 01:13:02.309 and that stream of consciousness 01:13:02.309 --> 01:13:03.816 going on after you die. 01:13:03.816 --> 01:13:06.109 That has been proven, 01:13:06.109 --> 01:13:10.355 if anyone is scientific, has got their scientific integrity, 01:13:10.355 --> 01:13:12.506 and actually bothers to look at the evidence 01:13:12.506 --> 01:13:15.108 and bothers to consider it with a rational mind 01:13:15.108 --> 01:13:18.895 reincarnation or rebirth is actually a fact. 01:13:18.895 --> 01:13:22.326 The evidence is compelling, there's too much evidence out there 01:13:22.326 --> 01:13:24.680 to not really consider it and 01:13:24.680 --> 01:13:26.665 not come to the obvious conclusion 01:13:26.665 --> 01:13:28.467 whether you're a Buddhist or not 01:13:28.467 --> 01:13:31.730 that when you die you continue on 01:13:31.730 --> 01:13:35.714 and then afterwards once we establish reincarnation or rebirth 01:13:35.714 --> 01:13:37.477 then where you get reborn 01:13:37.477 --> 01:13:39.119 and of course yeah there will be 01:13:39.119 --> 01:13:40.438 lower realms. higher realms 01:13:40.438 --> 01:13:42.163 and there is evidence for that too. 01:13:42.163 --> 01:13:45.770 I've been around a long time I don't believe in these things easily 01:13:45.770 --> 01:13:48.695 only when it's really strong evidence 01:13:48.695 --> 01:13:52.294 things you see, things you know happen 01:13:52.294 --> 01:13:55.430 There are things like heavens and hells after you die. 01:13:55.430 --> 01:13:58.110 And if you don't believe me 01:13:58.110 --> 01:14:01.352 when you die you can come back and tell me off 01:14:01.352 --> 01:14:05.563 (laughter from the audience) 01:14:05.563 --> 01:14:07.999 I better stop now because 01:14:07.999 --> 01:14:10.605 if you want to come up please come up afterwards 01:14:10.605 --> 01:14:11.889 and we can chat. 01:14:11.889 --> 01:14:13.447 We are already quite late. 01:14:13.447 --> 01:14:14.885 and I know we've got people from Hong Kong and Singapore 01:14:14.885 --> 01:14:17.394 they've got to go back to Jhana Grove, it's a long journey. 01:14:17.394 --> 01:14:20.494 So please if you want to come up and take the question further 01:14:20.494 --> 01:14:21.617 please you're most welcome 01:14:21.617 --> 01:14:24.266 but now we're just going to pay respects to Buddha Dharma and Sangha 01:14:24.266 --> 01:14:28.303 and then we can finish off the formal part of this evening 01:14:33.733 --> 01:14:50.288 Araham samma-sambuddho bhagava Buddham bhagavantam abhivademi. 01:14:52.308 --> 01:15:04.518 Svakkhato bhagavata dhammo Dhammam namassami. 01:15:06.298 --> 01:15:19.733 Supatipanno bhagavato savakasangho sangham namami. 01:15:25.428 --> 01:15:28.668 Very good