0:00:04.971,0:00:08.241
>>> HI, I'M JOYCE CHILDERS AND I[br]AM MAKING THIS VIDEO IN ORDER TO

0:00:08.241,0:00:11.978
AUDITION FOR THE GUEST HOST[br]POSITION AT QVC.

0:00:11.978,0:00:17.250
AND AS YOU CAN SEE WE ARE IN MY[br]CLOSET BECAUSE MY FORTE IS --

0:00:17.250,0:00:20.153
CLOSET -- UH -- ORGANIZATION.[br]IN CLOSET.

0:00:20.153,0:00:22.122
AND I AM REALIZING RIGHT NOW[br]THAT MY PANTIES ARE ALL BEHIND

0:00:22.122,0:00:25.558
MY HEAD.[br]AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A PANTY

0:00:25.558,0:00:26.359
ADDICT.[br]THANKS, JOE.

0:00:26.359,0:00:28.528
>> WHAT?[br]I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD.

0:00:28.528,0:00:30.764
>> JOE, NOW YOU'RE IN MY SHOT,[br]JUST DO IT AGAIN.

0:00:30.764,0:00:37.370
PLEASE, LET'S DO IT AGAIN.[br]>> HI.

0:00:37.370,0:00:39.773
I'M CHRISTIE BERKIE.[br]AND THIS IS MY AUDITION REEL FOR

0:00:39.773,0:00:44.377
GUEST HOST FOR QVC.[br]RIGHT AWAY, I JUST WANT TO SAY

0:00:44.377,0:00:47.213
THAT I DO KNOW THAT MY FRIEND[br]AND NEIGHBOR JOY CHILDERS IS

0:00:47.213,0:00:50.884
AUDITIONING AS WELL.[br]SHE IS AN AMAZING PERSON.

0:00:50.884,0:00:52.886
BUT I DO THINK SHE IS -- NO.[br]I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING

0:00:52.886,0:00:57.290
BAD.[br]I'LL JUST SAY THAT ALL OF MY

0:00:57.290,0:01:01.694
FRIENDS THINK THAT -- NOPE.[br]I JUST SAID I WASN'T GOING TO

0:01:01.694,0:01:04.264
SAY ANYTHING BAD.[br]SHE IS WHAT SHE IS.

0:01:04.264,0:01:06.666
YOU CAN ALWAYS JUST GOOGLE HER,[br]YOU KNOW.

0:01:06.666,0:01:08.768
WHICH I THINK YOU SHOULD.[br]AND STUFF WILL COME UP.

0:01:08.768,0:01:12.439
I LOVE HER![br]UM, OKAY.

0:01:12.439,0:01:15.675
ACCESSORIES.[br]WE ARE CURRENTLY IN MY NECKLACE

0:01:15.675,0:01:18.745
ROOM.[br]AND WHAT I WANT TO SHOW YOU

0:01:18.745,0:01:21.815
IS --[br]OH MY GOD!

0:01:21.815,0:01:23.249
I JUST STEPPED ON THE DOG![br]HE CAN'T BE IN HERE, LOUIS!

0:01:23.249,0:01:25.585
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW.[br]>> PEANUT HAS TO BE IN HIS

0:01:25.585,0:01:27.954
CRATE![br]AND NOW THAT'S ONE POINT FOR

0:01:27.954,0:01:31.624
JOYCE BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A DICK[br]THAT KICKS DOGS IN THE BUTT,

0:01:31.624,0:01:32.425
GREAT.[br]START OVER, CUT.

0:01:32.425,0:01:37.597
GREAT, LEWIS.[br][ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

0:01:37.597,0:01:38.798
>> HI.[br]IT'S ME, JOYCE.

0:01:38.798,0:01:42.802
FUTURE QVC HOST.[br]YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT YOU GUYS

0:01:42.802,0:01:44.304
TO KNOW THAT QVC IS MY NUMBER[br]ONE DREAM.

0:01:44.304,0:01:47.240
AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT[br]KNOWS ME HAS SAID THAT I WAS

0:01:47.240,0:01:49.943
BORN TO DO THIS.[br]AND THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE

0:01:49.943,0:01:54.581
THAT ARE OKAY WITH LIKE[br]HIJACKING DREAMS BECAUSE --

0:01:54.581,0:01:57.283
OKAY.[br]I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.

0:01:57.283,0:01:59.018
I CAN'T BREATHE.[br]>> ARE YOU OKAY?

0:01:59.018,0:02:02.088
>> DON'T COME OVER HERE, YOU[br]STRESS ME OUT!

0:02:02.088,0:02:06.226
I'VE GOT TO GO WALK AROUND OUR[br]CUL-DE-SAC -- DO NOT FOLLOW ME,

0:02:06.226,0:02:07.827
DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, I AM[br]FINE!

0:02:07.827,0:02:14.467
OKAY![br][ LAUGHTER ]

0:02:14.467,0:02:16.503
>> HEY, GUYS.[br]IT'S YOUR GAL PAL

0:02:16.503,0:02:19.906
CHRISTIE BERKIE HERE TO SHOW YOU[br]HOW TO DRESS UP ANY WORK OUTFIT

0:02:19.906,0:02:21.641
AND GIVE IT A TOUCH OF SPARKLE[br]AND GLAM WITH CLIP-ON GLAMOUR

0:02:21.641,0:02:25.979
BAUBLES.[br]LOOK HOW THIS GLISTENS IN THE

0:02:25.979,0:02:32.652
SUNLIGHT.[br][ LAUGHTER ]

0:02:32.652,0:02:34.387
WAS THAT JOYCE?[br]DID I JUST SEE JOYCE IN OUR

0:02:34.387,0:02:36.756
WINDOW?[br]>> THAT WAS JOYCE.

0:02:36.756,0:02:40.026
>> WHAT IS THAT BITCH UP TO?[br][ LAUGHTER ]

0:02:40.026,0:02:41.394
ANYWAY, WE'LL JUST CUT AROUND[br]THIS.

0:02:41.394,0:02:43.730
OKAY.[br]THESE IMITATION CRYSTAL PIECES

0:02:43.730,0:02:49.435
WILL ENLIVEN ANYTHING --[br][ LAUGHTER ]

0:02:49.435,0:02:50.637
>> I SEE YOU![br]I SEE YOU, GET OVER HERE!

0:02:50.637,0:02:55.842
>> WHAT?[br]>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

0:02:55.842,0:03:00.013
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?[br]>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

0:03:00.013,0:03:05.151
STEALING DREAMS?[br]THAT FRIENDS KNOW IS FOR ME?

0:03:05.151,0:03:07.487
>> THAT IS NOT GOOD ENGLISH, YOU[br]WILL NEVER MAKE IT WITH THAT

0:03:07.487,0:03:10.890
KIND OF ENGLISH ON QVC.[br]>> ON QVC, ON QVC!

0:03:10.890,0:03:14.360
THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE.[br]GET YOUR OWN LIFE!

0:03:14.360,0:03:18.531
>> I HAVE IT![br]I HAVE A LIFE!

0:03:18.531,0:03:21.334
STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I[br]HAVE IT!

0:03:21.334,0:03:26.406
[ LAUGHTER ][br]>> MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT AWAY.

0:03:26.406,0:03:27.907
YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS IN MY[br]POCKET?

0:03:27.907,0:03:29.709
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS,[br]JOYCE.

0:03:29.709,0:03:31.211
OKAY?[br]I HAVE NO IDEA.

0:03:31.211,0:03:33.913
>> WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT[br]HANDLE'S TO?

0:03:33.913,0:03:37.483
[ LAUGHTER ][br]>> OH, IS THAT YOUR GUN?

0:03:37.483,0:03:40.587
IS THAT WHAT THAT IS?[br]LOUIS, SHE BROUGHT HER GUN,

0:03:40.587,0:03:42.055
SURPRISE SURPRISE, I GUESS SHE'S[br]GOING TO KILL ANOTHER PERSON ON

0:03:42.055,0:03:44.824
ACCIDENT![br]>> IF I DO IT WOULD YOU STOP

0:03:44.824,0:03:48.928
STEALING?[br]>> JOYCE, DON'T BE A FOOL.

0:03:48.928,0:03:52.498
>> THIS IS ALL GOING TO QVC,[br]THIS IS ALL GOING TO QVC, JOYCE!

0:03:52.498,0:03:55.335
>> NO, NO, IT'S NOT![br]>> YES, IT IS.

0:03:55.335,0:03:59.305
THIS IS MY AUDITION TAPE AND IT[br]CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT.

0:03:59.305,0:04:03.610
>> HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING[br]HERE?

0:04:03.610,0:04:04.911
>> YOUR WIFE IS GOING TO SHOOT[br]US THROUGH OUR WINDOW.

0:04:04.911,0:04:08.248
>> IT'S NOT A REAL GUN, IT'S FOR[br]THE PLAY I'M DIRECTING.

0:04:08.248,0:04:12.452
>> OH MY GOD, JOYCE.[br]YOU ARE SUCH A JOKE.

0:04:12.452,0:04:14.687
>> OH REALLY.[br]YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S A BETTER

0:04:14.687,0:04:18.291
JOKE?[br]YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY.

0:04:18.291,0:04:19.859
AND I KNOW IT BECAUSE HE'S[br]SLEEPING WITH MY HUSBAND.

0:04:19.859,0:04:25.298
[ LAUGHTER ][br]I HEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT IN OUR

0:04:25.298,0:04:28.501
BABY'S ROOM LIKE, OH, YEAH.[br]I WANT IT.

0:04:28.501,0:04:32.205
>> STOP IT![br]>> OKAY, CHRISTE?

0:04:32.205,0:04:33.640
ARE YOU GOING TO SEND THAT TO[br]QVC, I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE THAT.

0:04:33.640,0:04:35.408
>> GET OUT OF MY HOUSE![br]>> AARRGHH!

0:04:35.408,0:04:39.779
[ STATIC ][br]♪♪♪

0:04:39.779,0:04:42.849
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ][br]>> WELL GUYS THAT HOUR JUST FLEW

0:04:42.849,0:04:44.484
BY.[br]>> I GUESS THAT'S JUST WHAT

0:04:44.484,0:04:46.953
HAPPENS WHEN YOU GUEST HOST QVC[br]WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND.

0:04:46.953,0:04:54.727
>> KEEP SHOPPING, YOU GUYS![br]♪♪♪

0:04:54.727,0:04:57.664
[ LAUGHTER ][br][ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]