>>> HI, I'M JOYCE CHILDERS AND I
AM MAKING THIS VIDEO IN ORDER TO
AUDITION FOR THE GUEST HOST
POSITION AT QVC.
AND AS YOU CAN SEE WE ARE IN MY
CLOSET BECAUSE MY FORTE IS --
CLOSET -- UH -- ORGANIZATION.
IN CLOSET.
AND I AM REALIZING RIGHT NOW
THAT MY PANTIES ARE ALL BEHIND
MY HEAD.
AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A PANTY
ADDICT.
THANKS, JOE.
>> WHAT?
I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD.
>> JOE, NOW YOU'RE IN MY SHOT,
JUST DO IT AGAIN.
PLEASE, LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
>> HI.
I'M CHRISTIE BERKIE.
AND THIS IS MY AUDITION REEL FOR
GUEST HOST FOR QVC.
RIGHT AWAY, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT I DO KNOW THAT MY FRIEND
AND NEIGHBOR JOY CHILDERS IS
AUDITIONING AS WELL.
SHE IS AN AMAZING PERSON.
BUT I DO THINK SHE IS -- NO.
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING
BAD.
I'LL JUST SAY THAT ALL OF MY
FRIENDS THINK THAT -- NOPE.
I JUST SAID I WASN'T GOING TO
SAY ANYTHING BAD.
SHE IS WHAT SHE IS.
YOU CAN ALWAYS JUST GOOGLE HER,
YOU KNOW.
WHICH I THINK YOU SHOULD.
AND STUFF WILL COME UP.
I LOVE HER!
UM, OKAY.
ACCESSORIES.
WE ARE CURRENTLY IN MY NECKLACE
ROOM.
AND WHAT I WANT TO SHOW YOU
IS --
OH MY GOD!
I JUST STEPPED ON THE DOG!
HE CAN'T BE IN HERE, LOUIS!
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
>> PEANUT HAS TO BE IN HIS
CRATE!
AND NOW THAT'S ONE POINT FOR
JOYCE BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A DICK
THAT KICKS DOGS IN THE BUTT,
GREAT.
START OVER, CUT.
GREAT, LEWIS.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> HI.
IT'S ME, JOYCE.
FUTURE QVC HOST.
YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT YOU GUYS
TO KNOW THAT QVC IS MY NUMBER
ONE DREAM.
AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT
KNOWS ME HAS SAID THAT I WAS
BORN TO DO THIS.
AND THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE
THAT ARE OKAY WITH LIKE
HIJACKING DREAMS BECAUSE --
OKAY.
I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
>> ARE YOU OKAY?
>> DON'T COME OVER HERE, YOU
STRESS ME OUT!
I'VE GOT TO GO WALK AROUND OUR
CUL-DE-SAC -- DO NOT FOLLOW ME,
DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, I AM
FINE!
OKAY!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HEY, GUYS.
IT'S YOUR GAL PAL
CHRISTIE BERKIE HERE TO SHOW YOU
HOW TO DRESS UP ANY WORK OUTFIT
AND GIVE IT A TOUCH OF SPARKLE
AND GLAM WITH CLIP-ON GLAMOUR
BAUBLES.
LOOK HOW THIS GLISTENS IN THE
SUNLIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WAS THAT JOYCE?
DID I JUST SEE JOYCE IN OUR
WINDOW?
>> THAT WAS JOYCE.
>> WHAT IS THAT BITCH UP TO?
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANYWAY, WE'LL JUST CUT AROUND
THIS.
OKAY.
THESE IMITATION CRYSTAL PIECES
WILL ENLIVEN ANYTHING --
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I SEE YOU!
I SEE YOU, GET OVER HERE!
>> WHAT?
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
STEALING DREAMS?
THAT FRIENDS KNOW IS FOR ME?
>> THAT IS NOT GOOD ENGLISH, YOU
WILL NEVER MAKE IT WITH THAT
KIND OF ENGLISH ON QVC.
>> ON QVC, ON QVC!
THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE.
GET YOUR OWN LIFE!
>> I HAVE IT!
I HAVE A LIFE!
STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I
HAVE IT!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT AWAY.
YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS IN MY
POCKET?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS,
JOYCE.
OKAY?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
>> WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT
HANDLE'S TO?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, IS THAT YOUR GUN?
IS THAT WHAT THAT IS?
LOUIS, SHE BROUGHT HER GUN,
SURPRISE SURPRISE, I GUESS SHE'S
GOING TO KILL ANOTHER PERSON ON
ACCIDENT!
>> IF I DO IT WOULD YOU STOP
STEALING?
>> JOYCE, DON'T BE A FOOL.
>> THIS IS ALL GOING TO QVC,
THIS IS ALL GOING TO QVC, JOYCE!
>> NO, NO, IT'S NOT!
>> YES, IT IS.
THIS IS MY AUDITION TAPE AND IT
CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT.
>> HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE?
>> YOUR WIFE IS GOING TO SHOOT
US THROUGH OUR WINDOW.
>> IT'S NOT A REAL GUN, IT'S FOR
THE PLAY I'M DIRECTING.
>> OH MY GOD, JOYCE.
YOU ARE SUCH A JOKE.
>> OH REALLY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S A BETTER
JOKE?
YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY.
AND I KNOW IT BECAUSE HE'S
SLEEPING WITH MY HUSBAND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I HEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT IN OUR
BABY'S ROOM LIKE, OH, YEAH.
I WANT IT.
>> STOP IT!
>> OKAY, CHRISTE?
ARE YOU GOING TO SEND THAT TO
QVC, I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE THAT.
>> GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
>> AARRGHH!
[ STATIC ]
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WELL GUYS THAT HOUR JUST FLEW
BY.
>> I GUESS THAT'S JUST WHAT
HAPPENS WHEN YOU GUEST HOST QVC
WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND.
>> KEEP SHOPPING, YOU GUYS!
♪♪♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]